https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220301 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220301_LR_6f2aa267-8634-4b31-8316-51d530e9d8f8.jpg?v=1571611251 You’re not getting an encyclopedia! You can walk to school like I had to. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220302 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220302_LR_02e79e71-2cdb-4b56-b8fc-c97b7512067e.jpg?v=1571611251 This is the latest exerciser. It’s an inflatable mother-in-law and a baseball bat! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220303 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220303_LR_1b3c04c1-cce4-4d25-b9db-de026a1d24ae.jpg?v=1571611251 He wants a blue dress for his wife, size ‘fat.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220304 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220304_LR_a03cb096-c694-41e2-bf8a-1e7ebc3d7973.jpg?v=1571611251 You can start tomorrow, but as soon as my wife sees you you’re finished! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220305 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220305_LR_c37b03b8-9afb-4388-aa81-8a140c002ef1.jpg?v=1571611251 I do have your size, madame, but it comes with a table and four chairs. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220307 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220307_LR_4c392b88-4ead-4e4f-9df0-37faffdf34fe.jpg?v=1571611251 It doesn’t matter what sort of dog you’ve got; it’s guaranteed to keep away burglars. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220308 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220308_LR_4c82b4e0-1538-4062-94fe-6f81e35f4fb6.jpg?v=1571611251 That’s a relief. I thought I’d gone deaf! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220309 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220309_LR_f855a2bb-de57-48a3-be88-fdb8483a04b2.jpg?v=1571611251 If you haven’t flown since 1926, I think I can safely say you’ll find a few minor improvements. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220310 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220310_LR_46c73cfb-2f18-48ee-9ee4-5b246236c6e1.jpg?v=1571611251 Weren’t you supossed to screw them on the outside? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220311 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220311_LR_281dc1fa-4c89-4622-81e2-a253ca320a17.jpg?v=1571611251 I thought maybe they could identify the person who stole my TV. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220312 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220312_LR_89ac1291-8ee8-4316-b0e1-fe52fb0ab69b.jpg?v=1571611251 Why don’t you save the money and put it toward plastic surgery? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220314 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220314_LR_c8161621-65bb-4c5b-ae79-5e23ba17c3c3.jpg?v=1571611251 It says right here on the can, ‘Do not use to clean overnight.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220315 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220315_LR_036cec92-9663-478c-b404-1507b8086899.jpg?v=1571611251 If I’m not back in 20 minutes, get a divorce. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220316 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220316_LR_26bcc8e5-bf67-4aa3-8afe-5329154afe1d.jpg?v=1571611251 Can’t you make yourself a cheese sandwich when I’m out all day? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220317 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220317_LR_ab1e4908-b8c9-4935-a4cf-e803af6cb3ee.jpg?v=1571611251 The elephant fainted and we can’t find the keeper. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220318 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220318_LR_c01a3d0b-98e3-4e50-badc-340fbdba81db.jpg?v=1571611251 You left this refrigerator open again. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220319 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220319_LR_a7d32af1-8d3c-4d43-b8f4-063824451737.jpg?v=1571611251 Oh, no! Somebody’s broken the bedroom window. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220321 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220321_LR_8fe5bed3-7394-4438-b8df-758b2c84e879.jpg?v=1571611251 Six months at Art College and you say ‘What’s it s’posed to be’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220322 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220322_LR_4a7612f9-5f42-47cf-ad27-fffabc01f514.jpg?v=1571611251 Unless I’m mistaken, you had a pretty hefty pay hike in 1967. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220323 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220323_LR_a0740998-f362-45c9-959e-340041ba4a25.jpg?v=1571611251 My wife’s on her way up, Gladys; so you’re my new secretary and Francine’s going for an early lunch. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220324 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220324_LR_e8017238-0ef4-4b6a-a9f8-61be78590124.jpg?v=1571611252 I want my apple back. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220325 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220325_LR_d83f72a6-7ccb-4cd7-821d-a0b38b3fc820.jpg?v=1571611252 Is that the bill for my credit card? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220326 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220326_LR_16c16303-c0fc-4784-84b1-338b72466dd0.jpg?v=1571611252 I left the circus 17 years ago and I think I still miss it! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220328 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220328_LR_a56ed9bc-702f-4909-afd1-3e29798800c1.jpg?v=1571611252 You can believe what you like… I tell you I saw one. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220329 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220329_LR_0478cdc3-78be-4ac9-a913-5eea6cbd173b.jpg?v=1571611252 There’s a girl who’s been left $100 million! Why don’t you give her a call? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220330 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220330_LR_2f148ed7-3bad-4322-af4f-6bdc90980df0.jpg?v=1571611252 You’ve heard of ‘The Battle of the Bulge.’ Well, you lost. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220331 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220331_LR_9a83ea43-17e3-4e29-a88e-e992265003ba.jpg?v=1571611252 Why don’t you listen? I said, ‘Send over a can of glue.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220401 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220401_LR_11d84faa-c33b-4ae7-8a2f-c96483613358.jpg?v=1571611252 I’m saving for a new dress. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220402 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220402_LR_5dd10edb-2bde-4669-8a4b-e7a25324bfbf.jpg?v=1571611252 Don’t decide now Herman… wear it for a couple of weeks. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220404 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220404_LR_763f3795-4a22-46e7-9619-26f4b8e0ca32.jpg?v=1571611252 Here’s a nice shady spot over here! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220405 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220405_LR_0b100535-c215-4cf7-93a7-dec17080f808.jpg?v=1571611252 Second serve. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220406 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220406_LR_85586921-8499-4568-88a1-5326e1976be1.jpg?v=1571611252 You got this ‘fridge up too high again. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220407 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220407_LR_0e82c81b-9540-4169-92e1-404d11f3e36d.jpg?v=1571611252 Fourteen years old and still playful. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220408 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220408_LR_7b5889f8-ffa0-4105-b0fc-c33a870acd19.jpg?v=1571611252 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220409 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220409_LR_6109a77c-6ffd-4b19-91ef-59024b4383ae.jpg?v=1571611252 Buy me a cup of coffee? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220411 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220411_LR_7696229d-1653-4577-a3c9-0bf1d8688d94.jpg?v=1571611252 This broadloom isn’t shrinking… the guy in the next apartment is pulling it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220412 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220412_LR_04428449-33b9-491c-b40a-2863834af1d7.jpg?v=1571611252 Watch out for his screw-ball. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220413 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220413_LR_ae457347-0893-4550-b01c-9289213f1e54.jpg?v=1571611252 Same to you! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220414 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220414_LR_081943ab-f3bd-49af-b3cd-1c3e3942b7ba.jpg?v=1571611252 Mommy’s not feeling too well, so I’m putting you in charge of cooking and cleaning. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220415 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220415_LR_49a81732-6622-45f6-901f-6ced6af1ffbf.jpg?v=1571611252 It’s an free range zoo. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220416 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220416_LR_210d1006-4aeb-4038-b17e-4f5f3fcc4f61.jpg?v=1571611252 Are there any more ‘income tax jokes’ before we move on? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220418 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220418_LR_05bff134-fe19-457f-8274-16fdf09d8a9b.jpg?v=1571611252 Not very sportsmen-like. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220419 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220419_LR_1e134a61-f1ae-4f1c-8b96-2c169be51d4e.jpg?v=1571611252 We’ve been married 38 years and he says to me, ‘How do you take your coffee’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220420 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220420_LR_ca053804-f695-4df4-90c1-c5e2934ff84b.jpg?v=1571611252 How’s your back? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220421 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220421_LR_d77ee937-5ccc-4403-b136-4cb9f3d82660.jpg?v=1571611252 I wanted to see you, to tell you that your account is eleven dollars over-drawn and it’s fine with me. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220422 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220422_LR_2b2d31b7-1cb7-4b37-ab33-504ee0216786.jpg?v=1571611252 I gotta figure out a way to prevent it from falling over on it’s side when it stops rolling. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220423 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220423_LR_8316fa09-2dc9-46d8-bd21-7dfa2f4b8bfa.jpg?v=1571611252 It’s 3 o’clock in the morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220425 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220425_LR_2a76779e-0aa1-46a9-a8e3-a5d60f12259e.jpg?v=1571611252 Okay, you wanna play rough… gimme the beads back! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220426 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220426_LR_a2293034-457c-4cbe-a428-71d578f18920.jpg?v=1571611252 Here’s a cup. Give me a dollar’s worth. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220427 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220427_LR_aacc9b3d-db03-46d5-b56b-c32bab6b8e8c.jpg?v=1571611253 How can a 2-ounce chocolate bar add on 4 pounds? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220428 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220428_LR_6e6c05a5-f898-4ebd-b717-28c298c99e9d.jpg?v=1571611253 Your previous employer says you have trouble adjusting. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220429 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220429_LR_63b6a48d-0f6b-4ebe-a221-0b439819cada.jpg?v=1571611253 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220430 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220430_LR_711f8b1f-61c8-48cc-a7ba-78223318ee78.jpg?v=1571611253 Do you believe the nerve of that guy whistling at us like that? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220502 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220502_LR_a2cdf8d0-c284-4388-ad8f-93ec9e718d58.jpg?v=1571611253 He said you put a grape in his ear. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220503 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220503_LR_325d2894-b0ef-4d4e-b326-6e34b64cc1d8.jpg?v=1571611253 WHERE are you? I thought you were gonna put a new lock on this door? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220504 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220504_LR_74fe1212-d74b-4322-a88a-eceeb252cd24.jpg?v=1571611253 Another one of nature’s mistakes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220505 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220505_LR_73073872-f2ec-4646-836c-878e77f9f5f7.jpg?v=1571611253 I’m giving him 15 more minutes to remember it’s my birthday. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220506 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220506_LR_11940fbb-36b1-4459-aba9-cbf2b2d502d8.jpg?v=1571611253 We used to do quite a lot of ballroom dancing until my arms started getting shorter. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220507 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220507_LR_5ef8142e-54db-48f8-bd33-1035baebf7e4.jpg?v=1571611253 Yeah, well as far as I’m concerned, bug killer is bug killer and you guys owe me a new screen door. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220509 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220509_LR_6b5e32fb-535e-4213-829a-adb5f525444e.jpg?v=1571611253 Don’t look at me… you gave him the carpentry set. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220510 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220510_LR_67ca2501-5f03-4140-8fd1-ad004c0d6130.jpg?v=1571611253 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220511 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220511_LR_7d4c80f6-c219-40d7-bece-b187bf9850e1.jpg?v=1571611253 You can’t get a decent haircut on Saturn. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220512 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220512_LR_c9b661a0-2102-4787-9d80-c07af0a72ebf.jpg?v=1571611253 So that’s the new MX? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220513 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220513_LR_551e5105-ffae-40ad-a277-a673157b72e8.jpg?v=1571611253 You’re Francis from sexydates.com? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220514 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220514_LR_bc746e03-3e1e-4025-894c-56fcbfd6bc15.jpg?v=1571611253 Oh, no! I didn’t read the box. It’s supposed to make 24. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220516 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220516_LR_647f2057-0c7c-4aba-9d5e-aa9f925f5746.jpg?v=1571611253 I told him we needed new furniture so he bought me a pool table. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220517 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220517_LR_12d60eeb-9a43-4879-8020-5ed4ad343ef4.jpg?v=1571611253 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220518 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220518_LR_edf65a3d-5d72-4ba1-bb25-0ebe6d4e2653.jpg?v=1571611253 That pair comes with a set of training wheels. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220519 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220519_LR_273902e3-d53e-4c88-9fdd-f350105eb25b.jpg?v=1571611253 I won't be able to eat all of this. Do you want the cherry? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220520 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220520_LR_e3fdef6b-7490-40aa-b57c-ac086fcdd1c0.jpg?v=1571611253 There’re only two of these left in the entire world. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220521 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220521_LR_a1c02cd3-ffda-458c-ba6d-48bf86558935.jpg?v=1571611253 Had enough music? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220523 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220523_LR_cf2a7358-a526-4cb9-a3e5-b0b213d0ff8d.jpg?v=1571611253 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220524 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220524_LR_13210fb0-0396-4558-b935-e8ebf78415c8.jpg?v=1571611253 The good news is that you’re NOT being laid off, the bad news is… you’re being fired! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220525 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220525_LR_1459da4d-248f-4922-8230-fd93cf108644.jpg?v=1571611253 Joyce, how much do I charge people when I don’t know what’s wrong with them? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220526 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220526_LR_44630370-3388-4773-8ddf-0b955bbfc096.jpg?v=1571611253 Remember me? I sold you the set of encyclopedias. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220527 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220527_LR_388c7081-3105-4063-9b5e-911cf785e495.jpg?v=1571611253 Someone gave him a banana with a file in it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220528 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220528_LR_28ad55b2-2f16-438e-80fd-c10eac71367a.jpg?v=1571611253 That’s two weeks’ salary, Crabshaw. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220530 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220530_LR_cba7a7aa-a871-4bd4-9d8c-e6c78c8905a1.jpg?v=1571611253 Pay attention everyone… this afternoon I’ll be advising you all of my choice for the new Manager. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220531 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220531_LR_54380efa-45a8-43c7-bcaf-1f3a34314d17.jpg?v=1571611253 Just put her inside the door. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220601 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220601_LR_eb34271b-5773-4a7f-939c-9a895ca15075.jpg?v=1571611253 I’ll trade the ice cream for two chunks of apple. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220602 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220602_LR_c9afae72-d04b-4e1b-849e-9c0d88cac9d5.jpg?v=1571611253 She didn’t want you to kiss her. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220603 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220603_LR_e69b87ee-3c83-437f-b496-2ca0ab7ffed4.jpg?v=1571611254 I’m getting indigestion just looking at this. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220604 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220604_LR_b3ed5111-c858-4c20-aa43-3ff0a7ad45d3.jpg?v=1571611254 You weighed 100 pounds on our wedding day, so I’m not even married to three-quarters of you! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220606 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220606_LR_af09dfa8-02ef-418a-b6c0-35f44549e27e.jpg?v=1571611254 We usually use a four-iron from up there. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220607 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220607_LR_a3ddb1a4-e20f-40bb-9037-20ab89f951cf.jpg?v=1571611254 Let’s face it, madame. Every swimsuit in this store is going to be a bikini for you. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220608 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220608_LR_640b922a-e4a4-4f85-b7fe-1351130c6e1b.jpg?v=1571611254 I think he’s gonna smash the TV if we don’t let him out. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220609 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220609_LR_cd9f6632-f85b-429d-a5c2-6d4cdc118b12.jpg?v=1571611254 How did you get on at the weight-loss clinic? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220610 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220610_LR_d9ccb419-519e-4a0d-a1dc-64a552432bc2.jpg?v=1571611254 I’m having trouble sleeping. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220611 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220611_LR_eea94c26-649f-4acc-ba9c-2adcf761c4e9.jpg?v=1571611254 As soon as it rains and the river rises… get yourself something to eat. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220613 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220613_LR_bd07d030-565c-4a3f-ad32-910caa018e27.jpg?v=1571611254 This’ll be the first time Herman shot under 70. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220614 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220614_LR_76c73536-8d63-4ad3-9d78-db0d9ca27e79.jpg?v=1571611254 I thought so. There’s another peanut in here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220615 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220615_LR_6f7bd0e1-9ad0-4aff-95b8-d99b2621ce1e.jpg?v=1571611254 So I said, ‘Bake me a cake with a hacksaw in it.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220616 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220616_LR_3677266a-b8f1-4161-aa73-7e0d50b170b9.jpg?v=1571611254 Don’t believe a word he says, Mother. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220617 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220617_LR_68905b2c-ee09-45d9-b7d9-50605c74c371.jpg?v=1571611254 I never knew his name. He was a volunteer from the audience. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220618 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220618_LR_ea2205b9-8960-4790-b4f6-0728910b0a78.jpg?v=1571611254 He’s got a wicked slice! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220620 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220620_LR_0fd474a5-b90f-400e-81ff-6a4c726618dd.jpg?v=1571611254 This is our deluxe comfort model. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220621 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220621_LR_b9e07e07-364e-4ea4-ae21-32e011ee33aa.jpg?v=1571611254 It’s agreed then: We change the sign on the tiger’s cage from ‘maneater’ to ‘personeater’. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220622 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220622_LR_2859bc8c-8954-4907-a5fb-8f54efa87855.jpg?v=1571611254 Give me your name and address. If I don’t end up in the hospital, I’ll send you a tip. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220623 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220623_LR_75175143-8867-4880-873b-18f81e57d7bf.jpg?v=1571611254 We’ve only been married six months and already she wants a new dress. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220624 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220624_LR_4aa80b3e-f5e4-48a7-b756-e0ae8c3e95b6.jpg?v=1571611254 He said, ‘Glass is a boy’s best friend.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220625 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220625_LR_81ac1579-9cb9-41e4-ade5-f0faebf2837c.jpg?v=1571611254 Dad, where can we go to burn some crops? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220627 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220627_LR_55776e89-3317-440c-977d-16fd40beb3ab.jpg?v=1571611254 … and Frank next-door says to remind you you owe him a new ladder! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220628 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220628_LR_e8e0002a-9258-4d77-8f8b-0a7e11f90276.jpg?v=1571611254 D’yer think it’s too tight? My legs are going dead. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220629 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220629_LR_3dcb843a-49fb-4151-817e-e22cad16398f.jpg?v=1571611254 So how are you feeling? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220630 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220630_LR_9d1e4cdf-db9b-4dc4-9e90-0566e6aa87be.jpg?v=1571611254 My father dissappeared when I was six years old and was never seen again. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220701 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220701_LR_6f258990-9b59-449c-934a-d78f13897cd5.jpg?v=1571611254 When I said I wanted a large milk, I meant I wanted a drink, not take a bath. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220702 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220702_LR_670e01da-3e8e-4f5c-8ec4-a18e55d5879f.jpg?v=1571611254 I’d be crying too if I’d just been named Lady Ga Ga! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220704 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220704_LR_2706d1e9-06b7-4183-a801-bdfc97f80219.jpg?v=1571611254 You’ll have to practice somewhere else… I want a shower. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220705 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220705_LR_a23c7163-9b3b-422f-b202-57ec43245445.jpg?v=1571611254 Two sets to love is not the end of the world, you know! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220706 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220706_LR_bfdccd65-31c6-4fc5-8a12-673249b94513.jpg?v=1571611254 I can’t believe you finally fixed the… umbrella. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220707 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220707_LR_c39b3a70-971d-411a-a836-5c37dc6964a9.jpg?v=1571611254 Any twit can win a hole with 22 lucky shots. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220708 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220708_LR_49bd389c-b9c1-44a9-9b37-0e0127c8c652.jpg?v=1571611254 We’re both a lot better since the doctor gave me something for my nerves. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220709 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220709_LR_e10a9b52-da67-4403-bd21-13e25838d22c.jpg?v=1571611254 It was supposed to be macaroni pudding. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220711 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220711_LR_e6a3072a-5a2e-4b41-871b-e0a4c2ab9f4f.jpg?v=1571611255 Here… make a wish. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220712 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220712_LR_82a78f89-3fde-4f16-950a-afdbaf5d9902.jpg?v=1571611255 Okay, Rachel, but what are you gonna tell my wife? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220713 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220713_LR_65af6904-500e-45a6-a861-dac85b2c89f3.jpg?v=1571611255 I’m not sending you to prison for attempted robbery. I’m going to give you a second chance. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220714 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220714_LR_3bdc6832-81f6-4f43-9761-983ee0be0843.jpg?v=1571611255 If you’re gonna miss your mother so much when you get married, take her with you. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220715 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220715_LR_de9d6831-da18-4330-a46d-ee7ebfc38632.jpg?v=1571611255 Take a tip. Get yourself a couple of nice big caves and rent them out. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220716 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220716_LR_b46fd2ef-86b3-4e0a-b778-6e85a59db292.jpg?v=1571611255 Yes, I think I’ll put you on a vegetable diet for a couple of months. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220718 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220718_LR_a459a6ce-c842-4da6-95fa-d2d7c38196f7.jpg?v=1571611255 I’m sure if you asked them politely, they’d postpone moving in ’til we’ve finished eating. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220719 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220719_LR_2fa50860-a583-4ffe-85f0-136889468d57.jpg?v=1571611255 I couldn’t find a button so I sewed the hole up! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220720 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220720_LR_b14467de-bf92-4880-9c31-19785f0301b5.jpg?v=1571611255 If there was another man in my life, do you honestly think I’d be sitting here? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220721 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220721_LR_8f7641dc-538d-4f55-a30d-4d95c698e5dd.jpg?v=1571611255 I know $47 is a lot of money but diamonds are forever! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220722 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220722_LR_f8067da6-ae59-4c53-ab4e-8cfdc62990c0.jpg?v=1571611255 I can’t wait for you to go bald. I’m sick of watching you count your hair every morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220723 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220723_LR_8708ad93-896d-444c-95fa-c3fe06d02cd7.jpg?v=1571611255 Is it okay if I marry Gladys? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220725 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220725_LR_7bdce5c2-35de-4c20-9b4f-f0c5693b6eaa.jpg?v=1571611255 Can’t you cook yourself something when I’m out? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220726 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220726_LR_4bd1e64f-53a6-4bc0-af93-3be6453027a7.jpg?v=1571611255 FORE. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220727 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220727_LR_1457d14a-4f03-4bcd-8fe2-1cbc688fad61.jpg?v=1571611255 Set the clock for 5:30! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220728 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220728_LR_dd11ca30-68e3-4721-9629-a539fa151f2c.jpg?v=1571611255 Is this the 54-year-old limbo dancer? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220729 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220729_LR_2209df01-1890-4adb-a3ec-5a81b46554d1.jpg?v=1571611255 I told you we should have had the driveway paved. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220730 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220730_LR_a44b87be-6d6e-46b5-9ab8-34cbb26b623b.jpg?v=1571611255 Herman, I’ve never known a guy like you for hitting them in the water. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220801 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220801_LR_2b3dac84-b953-4ca9-83f8-e3765e26b4d7.jpg?v=1571611255 In two days I’ll owe $3,000 on a library book I haven’t even read. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220802 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220802_LR_0cca7d8d-d9f5-4924-bdfc-69167a4e4765.jpg?v=1571611255 Look at this! Even the garbage pail’s got ulcers! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220803 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220803_LR_2d9c504f-32b6-405b-9ef2-d1e94b0d95b9.jpg?v=1571611255 I thought you were going to mow the lawn. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220804 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220804_LR_67aded7f-9211-4bf4-a316-44e611d6d4f1.jpg?v=1571611255 Listen, I’d better go. My wife’s waiting to use the phone. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220805 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220805_LR_60955c17-1931-4e91-b0ba-5d8b41bf29e1.jpg?v=1571611255 The doctor says you’ll probably be in ‘The Guinness Book of World Records.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220806 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220806_LR_92d86853-6dfa-48c7-a189-3263c18fac35.jpg?v=1571611255 Table for two. Food for five. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220808 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220808_LR_58cd5ceb-13b9-4cba-bf9b-ba6516df254d.jpg?v=1571611255 Abdul… will you keep that thing outa sight while we’re still in the oil business. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220809 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220809_LR_6e11e7c1-7e14-4fb2-8f70-45800419043c.jpg?v=1571611255 Okay, you’ve got your ‘nose job’. Now get out there and meet girls. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220810 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220810_LR_ab43b2f5-57ba-43c0-bc06-9f727a956b3a.jpg?v=1571611255 There’s just no pleasing you, is there? All week you’ve been telling me to get a haircut. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220811 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220811_LR_809024c8-a159-4de2-a440-fe3f6250c575.jpg?v=1571611255 I didn’t have the time to get you any flowers. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220812 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220812_LR_61ac16ff-dd15-4b62-aeaf-023d0d848a83.jpg?v=1571611255 I’m not going to give you a tip. I don’t like to hurt people’s feelings. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220813 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220813_LR_50af436e-5377-4689-8087-ac8bdcc9206d.jpg?v=1571611256 Did you get your pay raise? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220815 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220815_LR_ac4b54b1-3b3c-4be6-b02e-a1fabf3f0ac2.jpg?v=1571611256 Don’t let anyone take my special chair. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220816 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220816_LR_c151eb3e-50ff-4d73-a3c7-19f968fe5a88.jpg?v=1571611256 It’s your wife again! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220817 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220817_LR_6e79e6ac-c9f6-4560-9d66-d0cc224386f1.jpg?v=1571611256 He painted this one while he was locked in his studio. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220818 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220818_LR_cf9c1c2c-4f73-480c-8c38-9ef18ee2fcff.jpg?v=1571611256 Fill ’er up. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220819 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220819_LR_f3707714-7c4e-472a-aacc-3420e325663d.jpg?v=1571611256 Why don’t you leave the ring and I’ll phone you with my answer. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220820 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220820_LR_90000803-42b1-46b3-a509-59d2dc1149da.jpg?v=1571611256 Can you send an ambulance to 27 Sycamore Drive in about six minutes? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220822 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220822_LR_b2ec08ec-c497-4e67-a94c-b174930d0b2b.jpg?v=1571611256 This should be good… he’s eaten the whole bowlful of tobacco and now he’s smoking a potato. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220823 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220823_LR_870a1e1e-7784-4cf7-bc2b-550efd7d9e15.jpg?v=1571611256 I hope you can remember what you look like. I just broke your shaving mirror. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220824 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220824_LR_db0d3248-b332-482f-b9ad-567d4f6d1ced.jpg?v=1571611256 Stick your tongue out. I want to clean my glasses. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220825 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220825_LR_4c5d75c2-3153-4daa-b685-ebecad3218c0.jpg?v=1571611256 There’s someone out here waiting to use the phone. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220826 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220826_LR_0767356c-24ab-4d4a-aabf-55f4368f9a99.jpg?v=1571611256 That’s the laundry chute. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220827 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220827_LR_f1f8ae39-cfbb-4d52-a82d-cebf240ef1dc.jpg?v=1571611256 Okay, show me where it says on that apartment lease about NOT keeping ducks? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220829 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220829_LR_a73b4f23-7bf5-4aba-9bb0-c0aa17b2511b.jpg?v=1571611256 You told them it’s a pool table, so they’re filling it with water… that makes sense! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220830 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220830_LR_f0d6b0ae-0d33-43f8-ad91-a1ee49e7cea1.jpg?v=1571611256 Browning, for a guy who’s worked here for 12 years, you’re setting a lousy example. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220831 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220831_LR_bd2a3a11-b3e7-4c1c-8028-81d8981e4f69.jpg?v=1571611256 I’LL KEEP MY VOICE DOWN WHEN YOU KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220901 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220901_LR_d36b09ac-0faf-46b9-91a8-3a6c6ba5a406.jpg?v=1571611256 We’ll come back later. She’s in one of her moods. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220902 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220902_LR_cd0cf3ec-00b1-42dd-8975-3ec9234b1c18.jpg?v=1571611256 I’ll need a long leash. We live on the ninth floor. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220903 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220903_LR_85f170f5-cc2f-4f27-9a71-02fbc4ead6fd.jpg?v=1571611256 This your first company dinner party, is it? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220905 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220905_LR_505ee2bc-2099-42c2-9cb3-aa49e34f28f9.jpg?v=1571611256 Okay, which wise guy said ‘Missing Link’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220906 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220906_LR_b2dc69c4-2dfc-4ea1-9a0f-c5d5ed8d7d34.jpg?v=1571611256 I like a man who knows where he’s going. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220907 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220907_LR_f2819ad8-4424-4b3b-a117-8cae027029d1.jpg?v=1571611256 I was aiming at a hornet. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220908 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220908_LR_38fb3e1e-291e-4f60-9f13-89f859467ac0.jpg?v=1571611256 I’m second from the left, back row. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220909 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220909_LR_46048852-3a20-4ac1-8083-c4ead1240de9.jpg?v=1571611256 Do you think we’ll be on TV? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220910 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220910_LR_13756f80-15c8-406e-904f-86dee6013fd4.jpg?v=1571611256 I liked the way you kicked that tire. Very few of these young kids today understand the finer points of a quality vehicle. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220912 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220912_LR_86005f85-8324-482f-866d-61db01194064.jpg?v=1571611256 Charles… can I drop you somewhere? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220913 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220913_LR_33e03b63-5cd6-493c-b7d0-09faa26492c6.jpg?v=1571611256 They don’t give us time to learn anything in school; we have to listen to the teacher all day. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220914 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220914_LR_ec873842-3d72-49b7-bd95-578e8001cf9a.jpg?v=1571611256 Don’t forget: Four doors, dark blue, power windows. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220915 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220915_LR_e756ebfd-06cd-4b70-b7cb-95977ac9706c.jpg?v=1571611256 … to have and to hold… https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220916 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220916_LR_784cb21a-450e-407e-a40e-c7ac23b48a3a.jpg?v=1571611257 Whaddyer want, size or economy? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220917 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220917_LR_e8f4907f-fc51-4ccb-b5f1-1d3051076f21.jpg?v=1571611257 She’s come in ‘second’ three times in a row. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220919 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220919_LR_aa281e3e-6c9b-4db7-b235-f8e90d3d7bfc.jpg?v=1571611257 Herman… I’m gonna make a mistake now so you can have a go. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220920 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220920_LR_27610832-d4bf-4978-a665-d58b85c93a25.jpg?v=1571611257 I can’t eat fast food. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220921 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220921_LR_ba903717-7005-4e4c-a27d-50f93e30286f.jpg?v=1571611257 I only got halfway there and it ran out of gas! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220922 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220922_LR_c1f79c75-a826-4f62-9559-3695baeddf4d.jpg?v=1571611257 How do you stop the beans from sliding into the toaster? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220923 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220923_LR_c287297f-c7e5-45e3-9b4f-3b60a78badee.jpg?v=1571611257 Looks are not everything. She can’t cook either. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220924 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220924_LR_2cb83fc4-01a2-49a9-8587-edcbcce3fed5.jpg?v=1571611257 According to this quiz, you’re a ‘male chauvinist pig’. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220926 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220926_LR_308ec241-8ae0-43cb-935f-3e3515e8d3bc.jpg?v=1571611257 Nine and three-quarters… nine and seven-eighths… https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220927 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220927_LR_ed96f2ab-eb05-4f32-b305-562c4d5565fb.jpg?v=1571611257 We rehearsed all this, Mr. Blunt. You’re supposed to kiss the bride. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220928 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220928_LR_f2563017-ed51-4883-85a6-ed2efd49e91a.jpg?v=1571611257 We’ve got a new chef. Use lots of ketchup. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220929 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220929_LR_4723ae09-08b0-4db3-ad9f-f2df4674e8e2.jpg?v=1571611257 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm220930 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM220930_LR_e1d41cc5-5336-40ac-936b-465417dd6074.jpg?v=1571611257 Seen any good movies lately? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221001 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221001_LR_a40b5a18-d313-450f-95d9-a87cb7f2b270.jpg?v=1571611257 This one’s not signed. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221003 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221003_LR_d4fd6c2c-5132-4c85-a031-8f0e79ba572c.jpg?v=1571611257 Here, they don’t believe me. Say something in Martian. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221004 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221004_LR_8e8339fc-22e9-49ac-b8ce-22c842560e39.jpg?v=1571611257 Didn’t you used to be taller? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221005 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221005_LR_4eab6751-6b98-4aa8-ad88-accb07019616.jpg?v=1571611257 D’you wanna play blocks for money? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221006 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221006_LR_b3adc598-4bde-467a-b47f-dd107e690b95.jpg?v=1571611257 Your horoscope says, ‘Today is a good day to catch up on all those little jobs around the house.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221007 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221007_LR_760b7755-b90c-48c5-b3bb-4d61d3037197.jpg?v=1571611257 Is it OK if I eat while you’re smoking? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221008 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221008_LR_235f5771-b91c-4354-ade6-0ceb6434ea77.jpg?v=1571611257 Did you have a good day? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221010 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221010_LR_f9a14229-538b-4b1c-8ef6-e638b27ea518.jpg?v=1571611257 It’ll take you a couple of days to get used to these express elevators. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221011 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221011_LR_62e39449-9f2d-4d87-ba60-1cbc71eee858.jpg?v=1571611257 I don’t have a clue what it is, but it was the last one they had! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221012 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221012_LR_e87cb430-9e64-4cb0-909f-c18549ef0ba7.jpg?v=1571611257 I can’t help myself. I’m gonna spend your gratuity on a dessert. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221013 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221013_LR_e1a2755a-301a-4193-b532-594165a209a6.jpg?v=1571611257 He’s equipped with a spare leg. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221014 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221014_LR_2a646d0c-b291-4ef0-b530-ebbc5ee55c9b.jpg?v=1571611257 By the time we had saved enough money for a honeymoon, we didn’t want one. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221015 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221015_LR_b534dcd2-9e3d-4b6f-ae14-aa24aaa2ef6a.jpg?v=1571611257 Sit at the front, he says. Sit at the front. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221017 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221017_LR_d1633280-3df3-472c-9b30-91e362c546ba.jpg?v=1571611257 ONE. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221018 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221018_LR_259b073b-935f-4c77-bf9b-1b52f49b0d85.jpg?v=1571611257 Two hundred and forty-seven submarine sandwiches to go. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221019 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221019_LR_3fe81f67-fe1a-42d8-a9be-e3c1bcb0cd5f.jpg?v=1571611257 Doctor, Mr. Mildew is here to see you about his wife’s insomnia. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221020 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221020_LR_0c7fde5d-5ef8-4c0a-9a6d-22213231d5d8.jpg?v=1571611257 This one looks OK. Can I try it out on your front door? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221021 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221021_LR_52a817f4-5312-4cf3-a27a-368558e84223.jpg?v=1571611257 He’s trying to talk! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221022 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221022_LR_febe3822-1aea-486d-8d59-193936690c8c.jpg?v=1571611257 Is that the tie I bought him for Christmas? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221024 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221024_LR_3ed0e3e6-660d-4a63-92e3-97a768560a10.jpg?v=1571611258 Seeing you once a month is gonna make the next two years a lot easier. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221025 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221025_LR_4288ed4f-f84a-4675-84c3-361a55c6425a.jpg?v=1571611258 I thought you were going to save me a parking space. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221026 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221026_LR_4089b699-93ba-424e-96f5-c832aa936f15.jpg?v=1571611258 Let’s see… Niagara Falls… Niagara Falls. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221027 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221027_LR_bf12811b-8aa8-47a6-b083-835927d88b3a.jpg?v=1571611258 I’ll need a glass of water in 14 seconds. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221028 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221028_LR_80662ce1-0a40-45e3-ab2e-6b4408b4971f.jpg?v=1571611258 I’ve never dated anyone from the Circus before. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221029 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221029_LR_331a8617-87c1-4874-b7ff-fc83a9da8f83.jpg?v=1571611258 I’m glad their Apollo program is over. I was getting sick of taking this net down every five minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221031 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221031_LR_f35d0d18-880a-4fef-a16f-2b251205e3c5.jpg?v=1571611258 Love your costume. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221101 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221101_LR_24e33765-051b-44f0-ae34-cbf8890be72f.jpg?v=1571611258 He’s not the man I married thirty years ago. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221102 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221102_LR_ef196a80-d29e-4fd2-8911-e6024eabd92a.jpg?v=1571611258 If we can break up the kidney stones, we don’t have to operate. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221103 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221103_LR_50c8c023-6866-4537-8431-27fb282bb68d.jpg?v=1571611258 Grab your bread roll. It’s in my pocket. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221104 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221104_LR_d19451f9-2d6c-4b09-b8e3-1ebe3dcffe64.jpg?v=1571611258 That’s in case you’re in the kitchen. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221105 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221105_LR_67bcf1ef-dcba-42f1-ba8c-dd41b9b6a2bd.jpg?v=1571611258 Want mashed potatoes? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221107 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221107_LR_f64fb00e-e277-4559-b009-1a95b0d5adbb.jpg?v=1571611258 Cold lunch today… I’m going out. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221108 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221108_LR_524b87e6-a38d-43f2-a739-031a5e1e5db1.jpg?v=1571611258 Your new next-door neighbor just backed over your china cabinet. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221109 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221109_LR_210ce357-e654-4b28-9f53-847e34fb9a6f.jpg?v=1571611258 Are you the guy who sold me this burglar-proof lock? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221110 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221110_LR_5d6605e4-42a3-4870-88c3-ae789ef096ac.jpg?v=1571611258 What are the frog’s legs made of? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221111 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221111_LR_4c4043a1-aeb6-445c-bfc4-adf10c9fecec.jpg?v=1571611258 Call this toll-free number if you want to cross the street. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221112 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221112_LR_15a8a281-2a32-40e5-95f2-2d7a0b3a02ef.jpg?v=1571611258 You told him to choose the weapons… so he chose that. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221114 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221114_LR_07b7790d-f9bf-45df-a1fc-9ef72b5ca4b5.jpg?v=1571611258 I’d expect it from the younger generation, but asking for more money at your age is absolutely inexcusable. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221115 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221115_LR_89e1e1ef-d41d-4e5d-9430-bce0e8b0d5a1.jpg?v=1571611258 I won’t ask how your day was. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221116 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221116_LR_c3cc812f-8c9e-449b-9dc3-2261ca56aec2.jpg?v=1571611258 I hope you don’t expect me to make toast with that after you’ve dried your feet with it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221117 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221117_LR_dde9f520-f901-4086-a413-6a5ea33ac7f3.jpg?v=1571611258 I couldn’t get an extension cord. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221118 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221118_LR_2f176c58-e144-43f9-a375-131bb7f4319e.jpg?v=1571611258 I was trying to keep up with my GPS. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221119 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221119_LR_60100aa1-d023-44fd-812c-7bc2f1d11ad8.jpg?v=1571611258 They’re signaling us… it says, ‘Keep the noise down’. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221121 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221121_LR_452cf263-9777-4dfb-9f28-aa82b24d65a6.jpg?v=1571611258 Forget it. I’m never gonna get THAT hungry. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221122 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221122_LR_66e4726c-79fb-4fa3-a61b-ec61df27576c.jpg?v=1571611258 I told your boss you were going camping for 12 years. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221123 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221123_LR_4165493e-c7fd-4b34-954c-97c43ce197ec.jpg?v=1571611258 As soon as he’s figured out the steering, he’s buying a bike. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221124 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221124_LR_10cb49c7-d06d-4123-a3c7-81899ae8c1cb.jpg?v=1571611258 What’s the best nail for hanging a coat on? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221125 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221125_LR_2e14d23f-4a61-4215-a273-149938f9d2b2.jpg?v=1571611258 It’s a set of screwdrivers. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221126 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221126_LR_3b42387d-2033-4243-8569-8ae4370c7e61.jpg?v=1571611258 Eleven and three-quarters. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221128 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221128_LR_19beae04-e46a-4d20-b6fd-596ca98489ab.jpg?v=1571611259 We can compress a year’s garbage, but the trick is to get a two-ton bag down the driveway. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221129 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221129_LR_5b1526f5-d128-4037-9d38-448120779345.jpg?v=1571611259 Auntie’s turn. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221130 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221130_LR_56ceff99-4667-4ab1-9956-dfa40f0e0f5d.jpg?v=1571611259 D’you think you could play a little louder? I keep falling asleep. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221201 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221201_LR_b63b1c5a-a17d-4558-9cc3-d34b9b284fd9.jpg?v=1571611259 You shouldn’t have told him it was your birthday. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221202 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221202_LR_917d6d58-b226-4f4e-aef8-4fda5b2441f3.jpg?v=1571611259 It’s just a touch of heartburn. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221203 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221203_LR_79453991-0548-4565-a24c-2a51935f3480.jpg?v=1571611259 Which one of you is ‘Chief Crazy Nose’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221205 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221205_LR_65d5be0b-f025-41e5-9fbb-2c9e9ef2f558.jpg?v=1571611259 If they make ‘Jaws meets Godzilla’, it’ll give your mother a chance to break into movies. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221206 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221206_LR_f5cea6b0-c4ca-43a3-b0c5-3edf6a81e665.jpg?v=1571611259 I’ve heard of starting things early, but it’s a million years B.C.! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221207 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221207_LR_cf0ec9f5-5e32-40bb-b0b2-ef8648bb14ef.jpg?v=1571611259 This ‘Horace the Hamster’ stuff is driving me bananas. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221208 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221208_LR_4f096073-1dd8-49e1-8dca-72adab262bae.jpg?v=1571611259 They say pets start resembling their people. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221209 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221209_LR_1b00bc08-f47b-4ea9-985e-200be5671751.jpg?v=1571611259 I seem to be losing my touch. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221210 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221210_LR_e7074f49-dc45-4af4-8834-a46fc58f8e5a.jpg?v=1571611259 Be nice to my mother when she gets here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221212 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221212_LR_5e204c9a-cf42-42f6-94ee-7e81316c040e.jpg?v=1571611259 Did you know your front wheel fell off? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221213 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221213_LR_b5eeb497-f905-4116-b939-5ec0bb075942.jpg?v=1571611259 My, my… you’re the image of your father! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221214 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221214_LR_331bfa4a-b9bc-4688-b136-1b70c3b312da.jpg?v=1571611259 I guess that takes care of my Christmas bonus for the next 25 years. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221215 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221215_LR_1d147e4d-cd53-4833-aa37-5dcc8f2ac68c.jpg?v=1571611259 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221216 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221216_LR_9f946979-1e7f-4516-a331-2567d0bb6af3.jpg?v=1571611259 These should do it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221217 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221217_LR_86cf081f-a406-49f0-9b32-51771c219919.jpg?v=1571611259 Say when. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221219 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221219_LR_2a088add-6d14-41ae-a55e-7e0237024825.jpg?v=1571611259 You the guy who ordered the ‘Grand Slam’ pizza? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221220 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221220_LR_57b198cc-2629-43a8-ad23-f1c72c7b4931.jpg?v=1571611259 He’s got a sore throat. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221221 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221221_LR_7fe95bcb-e75d-42c9-b05c-13723e0060fa.jpg?v=1571611259 Will you please say ‘good night’. Our guests are leaving. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221222 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221222_LR_408dc670-55ae-47e3-bd83-3ca0cee59500.jpg?v=1571611259 What is it with your profession! You’re the 39th doctor to tell me I’m a hypochondriac this year. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221223 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221223_LR_7f4edb72-e390-4c48-ae58-6ef944eb685c.jpg?v=1571611259 If you’re Santa Claus, who was that dummy in the glasses who left me all that junk last year? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221224 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221224_LR_e64b8e96-af44-4c8b-97d8-8ba9cf2c3004.jpg?v=1571611259 You know Christmas is the only chance Daddy gets to sleep in. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221226 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221226_LR_beb92589-2ccf-48eb-9433-60e798835e2a.jpg?v=1571611259 I don’t mind telling you I’m glad Christmas is over! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221227 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221227_LR_f97008e0-df47-4ce4-9e65-e248455b49ba.jpg?v=1571611259 And don’t wish me a Happy New Year because I do not want one. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221228 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221228_LR_0ae8a879-fd9b-4308-91d4-89cc882fc35c.jpg?v=1571611259 She gave me aftershave for Christmas, so I gave her beauty soap. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221229 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221229_LR_ffbdf43a-c330-4f64-ae98-805c2206fa65.jpg?v=1571611259 I told you not to order a Zombie in here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221230 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221230_LR_bb7f85ad-b035-4d56-a61d-5646585350f9.jpg?v=1571611259 I told you not to drink that on an empty stomach. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm221231 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM221231_LR_16e40c19-f5b1-4870-b5f4-7270cecc9392.jpg?v=1571611259 Think it’ll work? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230102 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230102_LR_cc72dfec-a24a-4182-a13e-74dfe83d761a.jpg?v=1571611259 I hear you got an artificial heart. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230103 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230103_LR_e31a08c9-50d9-436f-9fe3-352eab71335a.jpg?v=1571611259 Your wife phoned. She said if you want toast for breakfast, bring home a loaf of bread! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230104 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230104_LR_a52b1b94-12c4-45e6-819b-b665398b9dd1.jpg?v=1571611260 My sister wants to exchange this for a radio-controlled tank. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230105 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230105_LR_8e37a9df-850c-4cd8-9e42-e61895f9a3d5.jpg?v=1571611260 Do you recognize this pan as the one your wife used? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230106 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230106_LR_4c714cc0-7a38-46dc-8d4e-9d64ddc0430d.jpg?v=1571611260 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230107 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230107_LR_a858b884-3095-499c-8562-49dfec0d1114.jpg?v=1571611260 Here comes this week’s challenge! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230109 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230109_LR_d994ac42-e6b5-4d44-a31d-34bb077ab16e.jpg?v=1571611260 First things first. Get your stomach off my desk. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230110 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230110_LR_06d22fb5-72f6-4a40-9fab-baf3b25a5518.jpg?v=1571611260 Can I take them with water? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230111 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230111_LR_07a54759-1203-4cf7-8a9d-2168de016c04.jpg?v=1571611260 Did your mother say you could build a nuclear device? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230112 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230112_LR_8eba670b-8337-4444-b6f5-7ae1c2130597.jpg?v=1571611260 Bread dough or not… you’d better go and get my gun. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230113 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230113_LR_0711cc98-ae79-472b-bcf6-8871c0ea9941.jpg?v=1571611260 No, I don’t think so. I haven’t got a pilot’s license. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230114 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230114_LR_70a94027-d4dd-4707-a5f0-5729b12f5e8a.jpg?v=1571611260 Pity… would’ve made a nice set of luggage. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230116 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230116_LR_01789adf-fead-496f-953c-a409b66af432.jpg?v=1571611260 Let me guess! You’re our new security guard. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230117 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230117_LR_f012941a-990e-4fc6-9b00-a610ec2a909f.jpg?v=1571611260 If I didn’t have all my faults, I wouldn’t have had to marry a creep like you. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230118 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230118_LR_7a2001e1-aeab-49da-83c8-d40a4b1359cb.jpg?v=1571611260 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230119 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230119_LR_9f8cc0cd-83af-4079-ac06-fdb663948391.jpg?v=1571611260 My wife wants to read for a while so I thought I’d watch you guys. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230120 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230120_LR_e54b9b3f-f222-4d91-9957-4085fc657792.jpg?v=1571611260 This one’s a big seller. Makes you smell taller. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230121 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230121_LR_ab4be4f1-66f9-4da2-88d3-5f5f8dab49ec.jpg?v=1571611260 What’sa matter with that goofy cat? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230123 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230123_LR_a92fa546-4b01-43dd-a55c-9458e2ebc523.jpg?v=1571611260 Does that hurt? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230124 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230124_LR_82d95f81-d7ba-4aaf-b1a0-9c6f5d87321c.jpg?v=1571611260 Whaddyer want for supper, fish or meat? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230125 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230125_LR_0032a531-bc21-4a90-9425-aff3c0350af9.jpg?v=1571611260 The doctor will see you now Mr. Harris. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230126 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230126_LR_16561e64-3e25-4cc8-a8ba-e58615123a67.jpg?v=1571611260 Gimme a gin and lettuce. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230127 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230127_LR_7c417736-462e-4cfc-a418-08cff6de0a2c.jpg?v=1571611260 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230128 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230128_LR_71fadf6f-f248-4b8d-bf2e-4b85ee7758b6.jpg?v=1571611260 You don’t mind if I smoke, do you? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230130 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230130_LR_40271f19-97d9-49ec-b558-fa0b8ca2f427.jpg?v=1571611260 Your mother just phoned… she’s coming over. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230131 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230131_LR_4e8be07d-ac26-4bb0-9eb4-91e2b724c453.jpg?v=1571611260 Would you say you are, ‘extremely happy,’ ‘happy’, ‘average’ or ‘bored stiff’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230201 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230201_LR_1b90bbd0-bca6-40c2-9866-1b592a388e95.jpg?v=1571611260 Joe’s my bodyguard while I tell you where I’ve been all night. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230202 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230202_LR_46e8dbc8-cb85-48f9-91dc-5c45c1d3da3a.jpg?v=1571611260 He asked me to put some ketchup in here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230203 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230203_LR_0495a8b8-82c3-48de-a2fb-76d3d76386b4.jpg?v=1571611260 This is your last chance, Steve. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230204 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230204_LR_d7e34939-3b49-40de-b9fc-05e6e2bc1948.jpg?v=1571611260 Anybody got the right time? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230206 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230206_LR_4840fc0b-f78f-42fd-9e58-379ffeaa2864.jpg?v=1571611260 We’re gonna have supper as soon as you shove off. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230207 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230207_LR_d47c2998-aed9-405f-9ccd-4ebbe2a39fd0.jpg?v=1571611261 He painted that one on our camping trip. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230208 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230208_LR_3864e7a6-5070-4c04-be2e-ec979d2d87e6.jpg?v=1571611261 It always speeds up when I take my clothes off. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230209 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230209_LR_2eb7932c-68d6-43a9-ba03-8b04394d35c2.jpg?v=1571611261 He must have remembered your banana cake. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230210 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230210_LR_26accbae-b1ab-415c-8dfe-a8ce82a027de.jpg?v=1571611261 The neck’s too tight. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230211 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230211_LR_ebdbfbf7-46c3-41bf-bef3-5066558a67c0.jpg?v=1571611261 I think he wants to be friends! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230213 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230213_LR_5cd3fe9e-a6bd-4e0f-9297-690ab2e877f3.jpg?v=1571611261 It wasn’t THAT under-cooked. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230214 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230214_400.jpg?v=1571611261 The doctor won’t be long. Are you sure you wouldn't like a cup of coffee? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230215 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230215_LR_921a0f21-bccd-4394-a891-9a7fd68ce8e2.jpg?v=1571611261 I got a job housekeeping for a motorcycle gang. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230216 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230216_LR_ed5302a9-6db5-45f8-9c97-18fc8472bcc9.jpg?v=1571611261 Boy, if you could see my date for Saturday, you’d go straight out and buy a new car. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230217 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230217_LR_3e6abd36-f7c9-4c00-b8e2-58104344f669.jpg?v=1571611261 I thought you liked this perfume? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230218 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230218_LR_8ef3db53-4a22-49a9-aa4d-aadcc045086f.jpg?v=1571611261 I don’t care if he is your grandfather; he’s not staying another week. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230220 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230220_LR_63c45bf2-b3f1-491e-830d-ade6bbf588aa.jpg?v=1571611261 You’ve got a nice little recession of your own going on up here! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230221 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230221_LR_5ace7a38-8ac3-45a8-ba9f-6e357267ecdf.jpg?v=1571611261 Can I get an advance on my inheritance? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230222 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230222_LR_3e09f499-b78b-40ae-a65f-a987b6714ecb.jpg?v=1571611261 Stay alert. They’ve tripled the import duty on wallpaper. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230223 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230223_LR_a0573a56-e7a4-44ba-bb4d-843cced3d23b.jpg?v=1571611261 The court ruled in his favor. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230224 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230224_LR_dd7723a4-bae4-4043-a480-de3cffb6180e.jpg?v=1571611261 He may as well have mine, now! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230225 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230225_LR_98f5c93d-6f31-4521-a3fc-d3f8e4b9c799.jpg?v=1571611261 I’m just going over to the bowling alley to get a candy bar. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230227 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230227_LR_70821d8e-3808-495e-b58b-ba5ee389a13e.jpg?v=1571611261 Technically, you could say you dis-armed him. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230228 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230228_LR_15946397-b158-434a-afce-bf8621b5ebf2.jpg?v=1571611261 His idea of life in the fast lane is going through the express checkout with a can of prune juice. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230301 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230301_LR_c5a538ee-9990-4fda-93e0-a38a3277cd7a.jpg?v=1571611261 This is ‘Earth.’ We don’t hang around here too long — they’re all bananas. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230302 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230302_LR_a0029dde-d1ee-4325-9586-cf88198d6d33.jpg?v=1571611261 Do you have to keep saying ‘bunch of junk’ every five minutes. I’m enjoying it! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230303 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230303_LR_c765f5dc-691a-40e1-9924-645b60faccb8.jpg?v=1571611261 I’m sorry I’m two hours late. Are you nearly ready? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230304 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230304_LR_c3c37e17-b860-48fa-a101-dd7aa55a986f.jpg?v=1571611261 She doesn’t buy many luxuries but she loves her stereo. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230306 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230306_LR_1d43cad0-1825-48d4-8085-f112eb093e6b.jpg?v=1571611261 How d’ya feel about giving a quart? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230307 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230307_LR_2c4b6606-8504-4e18-9d28-47a5f84eff2b.jpg?v=1571611261 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230308 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230308_LR_7ad11abe-e5b5-4ce2-af3c-01c993249977.jpg?v=1571611261 You should see the pills I have to take. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230309 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230309_LR_5d0085e8-af1f-47f9-8130-5a925f4c6a37.jpg?v=1571611261 Guess what ‘Catch of the Day’ is. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230310 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230310_LR_eef7c84b-2081-43d7-a580-b9df78477265.jpg?v=1571611261 Where do I get stamps? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230311 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230311_LR_72b959cf-68fc-4877-a923-f6ed26a3f203.jpg?v=1571611262 Someone’s stolen my bicycle! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230313 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230313_LR_8c23077f-61d4-4b05-a837-3c95e23b135d.jpg?v=1571611262 Don’t look at me like that, I was polishing it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230314 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230314_LR_5e3c551b-eab8-45c8-b7d5-431d8294adc8.jpg?v=1571611262 Would you prefer to eat inside? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230315 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230315_LR_2330a902-14ef-4815-b511-fe058bdabf3e.jpg?v=1571611262 He fetched it upside down again. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230316 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230316_LR_9c51a01e-2d6a-4fc1-a326-8577895d505f.jpg?v=1571611262 Never trust a dog that smiles like that. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230317 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230317_LR_ddec3f69-d612-4403-bbea-17787e73501c.jpg?v=1571611262 He was the world’s greatest juggler. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230318 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230318_LR_5ec6304b-ad32-4e01-9263-e864c301710e.jpg?v=1571611262 If it’s gonna take six hours to wear off, shall we send out for a pizza? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230320 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230320_LR_df058e5b-da51-4acd-bdd4-f4e66542736d.jpg?v=1571611262 George makes all our own furniture. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230321 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230321_LR_423e4ba6-1b87-4bb4-b284-87fccee4e755.jpg?v=1571611262 I missed the gas pedal. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230322 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230322_LR_fa58bb9e-a350-4744-b243-dc9e02ca8c73.jpg?v=1571611262 You haven’t signed these traveler’s checks. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230323 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230323_LR_2673db8b-1a8f-4412-9116-cc08c8faca10.jpg?v=1571611262 Well, I just hope I look as good as you do on my 110th birthday. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230324 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230324_LR_f37da1d4-0e5c-4ffb-b647-db7dc659effc.jpg?v=1571611262 Your interest starts now. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230325 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230325_LR_892e5d17-b824-41ce-bda2-3ceb15ff19dc.jpg?v=1571611262 It’s the same every spring. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230327 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230327_LR_4502d13d-d622-4e8d-b456-a6a607a64068.jpg?v=1571611262 Take your time, Doc. I’m enjoying reading Predictions for 2008. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230328 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230328_LR_b4889940-f1f0-47ee-b2a4-7c3216df1ea7.jpg?v=1571611262 I’m outside the railway station after 3 o’clock. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230329 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230329_LR_075bf4d6-0cdc-4eb2-b8e3-9a3b69f99db1.jpg?v=1571611262 I’ve got good news and bad news. We found you a donor, but the guy was 104 years old. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230330 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230330_LR_1c4fd93b-1dda-491d-909d-bdddb3e07b15.jpg?v=1571611262 After you’ve finished the baby, I’d like to change my name to ‘Lance.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230331 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230331_LR_680524bc-49ff-4136-9283-4250925fa336.jpg?v=1571611262 When I said 2 times 4 equals 6, I meant after taxes! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230401 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230401_LR_9dd7fad2-b6aa-4018-aa08-4f44a7f34026.jpg?v=1571611262 The oldest thing in there was the woman selling tickets. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230403 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230403_LR_496f22ed-6b1e-42f1-9af9-a788bad463cb.jpg?v=1571611262 I am well aware that it’s a religious holiday. But you can’t deduct Christmas expenses from your taxes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230404 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230404_LR_acce5591-c944-4dfe-9547-2bb9ff216fbd.jpg?v=1571611262 Here’s that book you ordered, ‘Income Tax Made Easy.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230405 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230405_LR_992cd1f7-75bc-456c-8687-c7c9bd664a8d.jpg?v=1571611262 Waterproof up to 60 fathoms. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230406 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230406_LR_f85b3672-05b7-44e0-ab21-0e16646f0d4f.jpg?v=1571611262 Nervous flier… He promised me an extra 10 bucks if I miss his plane. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230407 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230407_LR_ff88967e-1dd0-4c77-9241-7a3a5493b76a.jpg?v=1571611262 I gotta pay tax on that $5 Grandpa gave me! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230408 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230408_LR_8631f1d6-1228-4d2b-969d-09c512abb772.jpg?v=1571611262 It’s me. I’m changing my image. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230410 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230410_LR_0b74e178-29ef-42cc-897a-5124ca4a94c2.jpg?v=1571611262 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230411 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230411_LR_b08a33a0-65c0-48a6-bc6b-e0249e9c2b2f.jpg?v=1571611262 Let’s see, I need $899 plus tax… https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230412 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230412_LR_ffbd103a-9575-4d48-bafb-2ab3203d5bdb.jpg?v=1571611262 I thought you said you were in shipping. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230413 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230413_LR_a70b01ea-3b0f-4c96-b4c3-8f006584dce5.jpg?v=1571611262 You’re not as good as my brother. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230414 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230414_LR_eb81c718-e3ba-457e-95c0-f86c54ff0dc0.jpg?v=1571611262 So I said to him, ‘Where is it written down that women should always be the one to look after a baby’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230415 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230415_LR_e16fcd45-557f-44c1-a78a-7808cbfb8bf2.jpg?v=1571611262 I think I’ll take just one of these! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230417 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230417_LR_e1128849-9546-4fa0-8b2b-2fa96862fa7c.jpg?v=1571611263 You are two completely different personalities. That’ll be $200 each. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230418 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230418_LR_3b152b0d-fc42-4ddb-b1ad-050577c364c0.jpg?v=1571611263 It missed my new hat by that much. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230419 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230419_LR_a42da407-1430-43d4-abbe-d8473cb61246.jpg?v=1571611263 She tries to watch what she eats but her eyes aren’t quick enough. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230420 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230420_LR_59fb3081-2227-4a7b-95c5-f823d2ce25f7.jpg?v=1571611263 Get me to the airport in 10 minutes and I may overlook this filthy cab. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230421 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230421_LR_837dffd2-9818-4040-afc0-601523ca190c.jpg?v=1571611263 Why don’t you listen? I said bring me a WENCH. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230422 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230422_LR_95199ce5-9d0e-4cde-a311-3c29990f072e.jpg?v=1571611263 I’ll just pay you when I’m sure I like it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230424 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230424_LR_36c07b42-d1ae-4db7-a56f-a639ae22948d.jpg?v=1571611263 If you Jane, me Harry. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230425 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230425_LR_38b5dc4c-f0e9-4ceb-9db9-254cc60fc2c0.jpg?v=1571611263 Who ordered the chicken burger? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230426 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230426_LR_d076ac86-8bbd-496c-8d0d-0206c851f676.jpg?v=1571611263 My teacher says my marks aren’t bad considering the genes I have to work with. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230427 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230427_LR_62a3046c-11f6-435e-a3e4-5e5d7efd024f.jpg?v=1571611263 We found him hiding in a laundry basket. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230428 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230428_LR_94165784-e47f-4d0e-82c1-83e9937dc9cd.jpg?v=1571611263 Lights out! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230429 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230429_LR_8d839e47-fdcc-477b-b921-bc63e4269195.jpg?v=1571611263 Anyone else for the airport? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230501 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230501_LR_0717561f-0e68-43c1-82dd-91ccd41a9d53.jpg?v=1571611263 Here’s the coffee… right at the back. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230502 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230502_LR_1816ce75-e0cb-4da2-b9a5-8f2082c86529.jpg?v=1571611263 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230503 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230503_LR_473fd8c8-74ff-4501-bf36-f72af0e3f965.jpg?v=1571611263 Your boss says you can have the rest of the afternoon off. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230504 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230504_LR_5aa663f3-4191-494e-af7c-8a02bafe1972.jpg?v=1571611263 Look in the brochure. See if it says it’s dishwasher safe. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230505 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230505_LR_31c6e51d-74a6-4a32-9df6-a5a6d1617e46.jpg?v=1571611263 Can you do the seat-belt demonstration again? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230506 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230506_LR_494360f4-529c-481d-a022-852433fd358c.jpg?v=1571611263 The art teacher told us not to get disheartened if our first portrait looked like a hippopotamus with a hat on. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230508 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230508_LR_4ef3ff4e-f45c-4705-b136-c3ea2dbca5a2.jpg?v=1571611263 I’ve been at the hospital all day. My wife broke her fist. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230509 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230509_LR_190928c4-20b3-4c73-a398-ff3b606d733e.jpg?v=1571611263 OK, OK, that’s enough! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230510 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230510_LR_5b8c2e61-0885-414c-bf82-eb3d7867853b.jpg?v=1571611263 I can’t hear any problems, but that’s not surprising. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230511 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230511_LR_c10d63ca-4287-473b-9925-925f35f3e050.jpg?v=1571611263 Let’s try once more. We could get lucky the third time. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230512 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230512_LR_e5efce3d-5d03-44fb-8bb2-b331843d993a.jpg?v=1571611263 He almost made it across the river. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230513 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230513_LR_294a17c7-23c4-4467-9b40-5efb19f234dd.jpg?v=1571611263 I’m sorry, we do not lend Miss Perkins. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230515 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230515_LR_f07e65ff-3c07-4919-9f1f-7e8fb7199b37.jpg?v=1571611263 See what happens when you have too many walkies! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230516 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230516_LR_cbd21f37-ed4c-4b35-9e8a-318daa196b06.jpg?v=1571611263 I can only give you a few minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230517 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230517_LR_80f1c72d-deaf-4b67-97f8-71c8fb7e105e.jpg?v=1571611263 It’s getting too commercial. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230518 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230518_LR_3d09c2d5-42b3-4272-9798-989a236763f5.jpg?v=1571611263 Is that all you have to say in your defence? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230519 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230519_LR_56407b70-5220-4500-91e2-bcc27b5ec709.jpg?v=1571611263 Rambo… Robert… Michael. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230520 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230520_LR_a63b57cc-b17b-476d-bb58-c9090947bfde.jpg?v=1571611263 He’s the equivalent of 49 years old, but he’s not intelligent enough to get crabby! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230522 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230522_LR_32b22c4b-51e3-4b1b-bf9b-40db9478a1eb.jpg?v=1571611263 Here, you wanted a shark’s-tooth necklace. Dig those outa my leg. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230523 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230523_LR_78c32d00-6079-4c72-85ba-283ff4ccaeaa.jpg?v=1571611272 There’s a fly in my straw. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230524 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230524_LR_cb37a151-9748-4d11-9ddb-1343cb5b8b8b.jpg?v=1571611272 This is my husband, the last of the big suspenders. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230525 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230525_LR_7961d15c-bf67-4323-99f9-865de1d05324.jpg?v=1571611272 Sign here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230526 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230526_LR_a03fb2a2-ecb6-4215-87d9-134ef57b3000.jpg?v=1571611272 Would you like a drink whilst the chef is trying to catch the Catch of the Day? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230527 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230527_LR_7ec9871e-2c68-4b5b-a8b1-d42d77d0d41a.jpg?v=1571611272 I wish I could think of a way of eliminating this static cling. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230529 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230529_LR_0e237815-a327-43c8-8c61-f4bd05a9eb5d.jpg?v=1571611272 What are the chances of exchanging a red and green shirt with blue stripes? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230530 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230530_LR_f850e4c1-defa-40fa-88e2-5e5999ca031f.jpg?v=1571611272 Haven’t you got any bigger tables? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230531 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230531_LR_524ab441-45bb-43fe-8c39-5a20b373c92e.jpg?v=1571611272 You’re being charged with ‘disturbing the ambience.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230601 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230601_LR_79bfa2ef-b90e-446e-9199-dce3b612ef0b.jpg?v=1571611272 Pest control https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230602 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230602_LR_0af35ebd-49cf-4ce5-b0ac-bef3aeaee331.jpg?v=1571611272 They only delivered to little old ladies. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230603 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230603_LR_f5d0bfdc-2e32-4481-bd00-2a3dd8098fd7.jpg?v=1571611272 You must be the new member. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230605 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230605_LR_3cd5cdf1-89bf-4642-bc1a-3dce897b288e.jpg?v=1571611272 I can’t drink cold soup. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230606 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230606_LR_cbbcbfe9-c451-49aa-ac2b-f9db9271ea8b.jpg?v=1571611272 My ex-husband was up all night buying everybody drinks. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230607 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230607_LR_ccef6896-a226-4fe1-881f-5d7581eae357.jpg?v=1571611272 I wanna say, ‘take your job and shove it’ in poinsettias. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230608 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230608_LR_7b16417b-d45f-4356-96fe-59ec82d525ae.jpg?v=1571611272 That’s your organic shampoo. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230609 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230609_LR_19482256-1e95-441f-b787-2a6a8fcb2eb1.jpg?v=1571611272 I can’t wait to open your suitcase! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230610 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230610_LR_8c04320d-061d-4639-8901-e85d11eb196a.jpg?v=1571611272 Your greenflies are all over my bushes again. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230612 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230612_LR_ef274d37-60e6-48c7-8b39-2ffe3bf6071b.jpg?v=1571611272 Oh, it’s you! I thought it was a burglar. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230613 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230613_LR_de3c8540-9170-403b-896c-1a7858e858c9.jpg?v=1571611272 We managed to put the fire out. Just do the front lawn. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230614 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230614_LR_437afe2f-2900-4c0b-ad7b-0fdd7a6e2d5e.jpg?v=1571611272 I’m sorry, sir, you’ll have to return to your seat. We’ll be landing in a few minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230615 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230615_LR_4c06061a-64b8-4737-aded-3ac31f1f7115.jpg?v=1571611272 Hold still. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230616 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230616_LR_00d134a5-2f25-4887-88d9-f97bebc76c5d.jpg?v=1571611272 You need more exercise. Go and get me a cheeseburger with onions. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230617 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230617_LR_33f74d78-79d5-473d-bb11-c3510d2aa165.jpg?v=1571611272 I’ll count to three, then I’m gonna use the sink. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230619 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230619_LR_38fba0ad-f48e-4a32-bd62-cc007ce2d762.jpg?v=1571611273 Who’s having the raw herring? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230620 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230620_LR_b2cd8421-a338-422a-a41e-6e6d11f7e808.jpg?v=1571611273 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230621 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230621_LR_aa4ad50e-2b23-440b-9def-357e49d48202.jpg?v=1571611273 When I said you could have your friends over for lunch, I meant humans. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230622 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230622_LR_0bbb68e6-bc0b-4a66-a18c-5b189317e45d.jpg?v=1571611273 These should make you relax. You won’t have any money to do anything else. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230623 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230623_LR_b29e72e9-adab-4f87-8b4d-8ceb715f0db4.jpg?v=1571611273 I’d like to introduce you to my second wife, but I’m still stuck with first one. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230624 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230624_LR_52856198-f210-48e7-95e0-927a7b232030.jpg?v=1571611273 I’m getting sick of this arm wrestling to see who does the dishes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230626 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230626_LR_b865bd8b-3afe-4f56-8741-c16af44f8260.jpg?v=1571611273 Don’t tell me that’s not the best speech I’ve ever written. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230627 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230627_LR_bf9f497c-ada7-47e3-aa32-5c45db5c21bf.jpg?v=1571611273 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230628 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230628_LR_6c873c6d-047e-499b-a5d6-00170427af0f.jpg?v=1571611273 That’s in case you run a red light. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230629 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230629_LR_c75b93c6-66a2-4fa2-b2e0-9fa0821794fd.jpg?v=1571611273 I want to send this birthday card to my brother, c.o.d. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230630 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230630_LR_722a9e43-eed5-4c1d-973c-eaa2d04857c5.jpg?v=1571611273 Someone stole his elevator shoes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230701 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230701_LR_61d5730c-6118-4b35-8168-3c7dee18d42e.jpg?v=1571611273 Are you sure there wasn’t a full moon last night? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230703 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230703_LR_1d0e1c1d-ceaa-4e0b-a8a0-f835ebb95c23.jpg?v=1571611273 Make sure you get one with a roof-rack. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230704 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230704_LR_e340158b-7a97-4d5e-84d6-feef4236b7fe.jpg?v=1571611273 I burned my arm. Your sausages are under the stove. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230705 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230705_LR_5d2e075d-e511-430a-a085-1887b5d31f4b.jpg?v=1571611273 You the guy with the fly in his soup? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230706 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230706_LR_2a97c465-9472-423e-8f00-d6c69a727a24.jpg?v=1571611273 Hand over the french fries, you dirty rat. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230707 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230707_LR_cb24df5f-101a-4f28-983a-c047c7522f6b.jpg?v=1571611273 I gotta leave you on your own for a few weeks. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230708 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230708_LR_e409b80f-1b06-4be8-b08d-01bc635c6c97.jpg?v=1571611273 Before you start the wisecracks, it’s for my granddaughter. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230710 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230710_LR_7e539470-6ec7-4caf-88b0-742288a8eb94.jpg?v=1571611273 Why should I be the only one to suffer? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230711 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230711_LR_cb09d7d4-2208-44d7-9e2f-9b98f0fc888d.jpg?v=1571611273 Two rolls of anything. It’s for our bedroom. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230712 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230712_LR_c2239caa-2420-4170-a134-887bfe2ddaed.jpg?v=1571611273 He was trying to fill a disposable lighter. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230713 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230713_LR_63848f99-8d25-4720-b1bc-a9b661fd49cc.jpg?v=1571611273 I caught it in a copier machine. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230714 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230714_LR_b3734c38-a44d-47b6-baed-0068b014ab85.jpg?v=1571611273 We’re not trying to sell your house; we’re selling the planet. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230715 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230715_LR_e13a4f57-4251-4dac-aeb0-9880d8ff5f27.jpg?v=1571611273 Hey, GET OFF MY LAND! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230717 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230717_LR_82167921-0d14-4191-8c61-9089078ce218.jpg?v=1571611273 It’s for my mother-in-law. Got anything rabid? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230718 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230718_LR_e216cfec-709e-4ed0-a26f-ef1d3dfa02b0.jpg?v=1571611273 How can you tell if an uncut diamond is genuine? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230719 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230719_LR_351da4ac-7818-44ed-9544-bfad5dca4366.jpg?v=1571611273 Why don’t you try it out before you buy it? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230720 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230720_LR_820d15f9-67f1-49dc-80f6-316225fe65e0.jpg?v=1571611273 I’d say they’re about the most pathetic fantasies I’ve ever heard. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230721 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230721_LR_81a00335-0c1e-45f6-84c8-f98fe3494f08.jpg?v=1571611273 So this is your private box at the theater! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230722 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230722_LR_02261480-ec72-424e-893d-6ccc13166eb4.jpg?v=1571611273 Are you going to drink this coffee or shall I throw it away? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230724 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230724_LR_2acc0ab6-ddac-4ec7-8e9d-7a1b1152b590.jpg?v=1571611273 Got any non-dairy creamer? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230725 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230725_LR_2ad24aea-8a91-4ec7-8c83-3b1077cbe4c5.jpg?v=1571611274 He didn’t say ‘No’, he said ‘Maybe.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230726 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230726_LR_72a79194-78b3-42cd-92b9-d6294b0b05cf.jpg?v=1571611274 Can I use your phone? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230727 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230727_LR_a560ec45-a2af-44f1-a3c3-45f762f5a986.jpg?v=1571611274 Dino doesn’t like pizza. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230728 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230728_LR_acfff12e-d467-4c7a-b8d4-4a65c59e75e4.jpg?v=1571611274 I told you to get size 10. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230729 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230729_LR_35495ffa-b4bb-4735-b49c-1d43d1324836.jpg?v=1571611274 Don’t tell me your mother’s coming to dinner! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230731 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230731_LR_1eaa88b4-8a1a-491a-a806-8e0cfa711cb7.jpg?v=1571611274 Will you please take this thing away form him. I’m trying to read. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230801 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230801_LR_0ec0c6c1-4921-4dac-8a45-0adeaa3a39a9.jpg?v=1571611274 Your skeletal structure can’t support your weight anymore. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230802 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230802_LR_fdfe16d3-5427-4a76-9906-b50a469433bd.jpg?v=1571611274 Have you finished with that? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230803 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230803_LR_79b473d6-66c5-4013-87a7-e1d255acf913.jpg?v=1571611274 George is a big game hunter. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230804 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230804_LR_d20886ce-f309-42d0-a3f3-a2c38db5eaf9.jpg?v=1571611274 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230805 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230805_LR_568e82fe-6ee8-4bba-a3d5-9f391dedb568.jpg?v=1571611274 I think we’re in trouble. He doesn’t even know what a car is! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230807 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230807_LR_e46b8d56-ce03-4522-a4f3-98baed6443cd.jpg?v=1571611274 I told him he was allowed one phone call and he called dial-a-joke! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230808 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230808_LR_d91bd9cb-2595-44d4-889c-5f21e08cf850.jpg?v=1571611274 It was just a bit of bad luck that 11 of the 12 jurors had their homes burgled. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230809 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230809_LR_cc60070b-ab24-4841-9751-128c0fe9d494.jpg?v=1571611274 My life insurance company has offered me a reduction if I eat out. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230810 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230810_LR_46ad39f3-f60a-4c1a-95f4-6943e892e269.jpg?v=1571611274 Can’t you remember your number? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230811 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230811_LR_a413be1b-7f29-49a8-833f-37abeb2369f2.jpg?v=1571611274 He said he saw his suitcase fly past the window. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230812 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230812_LR_0f6e4fe9-2d98-49cf-9b56-a3e3823facc1.jpg?v=1571611274 All I said was, ‘Open your suitcase.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230814 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230814_LR_157d37e0-2ede-4d12-a23c-1f7df650fedb.jpg?v=1571611274 Sorry about the little accident, sir. Do you still wish to order something? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230815 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230815_LR_5678615d-6b7f-48ac-9993-7347c8f45efb.jpg?v=1571611274 The next six months will be mainly sunny or cloudy, with dry and rainy spells. Winds will be from most directions. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230816 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230816_LR_6512907f-a8e4-471f-bbaf-c4e3272f1dc2.jpg?v=1571611274 I hope this divorce lasts longer than your last one. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230817 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230817_LR_543a57a0-3f6a-41b6-b71d-4d6119ea85d7.jpg?v=1571611274 None of those buildings used to be there. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230818 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230818_LR_6a205be7-7d5e-453e-88df-efebe3c92e50.jpg?v=1571611274 ‘Randolph’ if it’s a boy, ‘Jeanette’ if it’s a girl. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230819 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230819_LR_0384c7af-7d32-45d5-ad6f-e0699bf25e32.jpg?v=1571611274 Have you got $38 worth of quarters? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230821 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230821_LR_60f16c19-3391-46a8-af32-11343e952bd0.jpg?v=1571611274 Chicken soup, without noodles. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230822 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230822_LR_03aae2a6-6675-4e3d-9914-778c78255438.jpg?v=1571611274 It woke me up two hours late with a cold cup of coffee. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230823 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230823_LR_260f70c8-d6fa-4f33-afd3-dff64c490c2c.jpg?v=1571611274 We haven’t had a contract since 1742! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230824 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230824_LR_c0e98964-94c7-470d-b03d-fe67c857beb9.jpg?v=1571611274 There’s a $100 bill in here! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230825 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230825_LR_55ede254-c11a-439e-b3ca-b8773f857c88.jpg?v=1571611274 Breaker-one-nine, breaker-one-nine. I need a glass of water. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230826 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230826_LR_748e5b66-9cc2-4d0a-b210-65d46328bc78.jpg?v=1571611274 It’s his first time. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230828 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230828_LR_a6f02b7f-4cb4-4e18-825d-49fdc3ab2a5c.jpg?v=1571611274 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230829 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230829_LR_a999d6bd-78ae-4a37-8efa-719670346006.jpg?v=1571611274 Read the instructions very, very, very, very, carefully. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230830 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230830_LR_384c52de-be01-4000-b783-35bfb93b87d2.jpg?v=1571611274 They said you were wearing this when you fell off the roof. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230831 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230831_LR_adfef812-4f53-4fe5-bb42-bf5e49687cfc.jpg?v=1571611274 I’d like to make an appointment for 8 o’clock Tuesday. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230901 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230901_LR_340e9d4a-63f5-473e-9e5f-297f9b412ba2.jpg?v=1571611274 The 50-cent surcharge is for the clean fork I brought you when you dropped the other one. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230902 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230902_LR_ff0003ad-cc07-4c1a-879e-7bf0ae9d87c8.jpg?v=1571611274 You can’t fire me, Bradley! You have to SELL slaves. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230904 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230904_LR_0768f1eb-641a-489a-9db4-f3280425f06c.jpg?v=1571611275 That’s guaranteed waterproof to 100 meters. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230905 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230905_LR_9ea5f763-829d-4ab8-9b0e-a6a8f6697fb4.jpg?v=1571611275 Any luck? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230906 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230906_LR_cfcd3d7f-34ae-41e8-9cc0-bd0e6870c963.jpg?v=1571611275 Stop burning the old guy’s breakfast. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230907 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230907_LR_1c52dbb4-d4d8-43d5-b727-1c2a07fb62fe.jpg?v=1571611275 Is it for you wife or do you want to try it on? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230908 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230908_LR_fca46677-3b40-46d0-b7a6-35a71c24ff7f.jpg?v=1571611275 You need two numbers for a pair of hinges. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230909 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230909_LR_e5834749-1836-4d02-95b3-cc2d62b08a9c.jpg?v=1571611275 Use your fingers. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230911 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230911_LR_3f107e95-2b0b-4b23-b7f1-b0da5eae234b.jpg?v=1571611275 If I let you drive yourself home, are you going to be turning left or right? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230912 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230912_LR_c07b9cfe-46c9-473b-a352-5209cf26db70.jpg?v=1571611275 Give me a few seconds to prepare myself. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230913 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230913_LR_5b17c085-bf7a-4898-bd5c-54440443a27d.jpg?v=1571611275 It’s Julius Caesar taking a bath. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230914 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230914_LR_370184a5-08f2-4307-a850-4d9119aa4832.jpg?v=1571611275 I see you’re back to five meals a day. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230915 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230915_LR_9470df9f-b6db-478a-9b83-ceb6ad312fbd.jpg?v=1571611275 Seventy-five degrees. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230916 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230916_LR_db78d58c-3d2f-49cd-aa53-cbff1866cd14.jpg?v=1571611275 It’s from the landlord. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230918 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230918_LR_8aad8c04-0fcc-4b1c-811c-39ac463a3daf.jpg?v=1571611275 Your flight left two hours early owing to a malfunction in the captain’s watch. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230919 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230919_LR_cca8259d-d6b2-4802-ba8b-fb17d9193ff2.jpg?v=1571611275 I found wheel tracks in my roses again. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230920 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230920_LR_9dd88fd5-3194-49a4-b21b-5d1c8452b45d.jpg?v=1571611275 I thought this place had a floor show. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230921 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230921_LR_396000c2-05fc-4ab7-849e-d5eaa9522c29.jpg?v=1571611275 Are there any side effects to these pills apart from bankruptcy? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230922 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230922_LR_ffa98902-c3e5-4270-91e5-de574054c1d2.jpg?v=1571611275 Not quite everything. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230923 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230923_LR_ab414972-9f00-4cff-afe1-7224d1748356.jpg?v=1571611275 Any escapes today? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230925 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230925_LR_2bc20493-f6df-4559-9ac9-c8453668b91e.jpg?v=1571611275 What does he want to eat, a bowl of ants? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230926 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230926_LR_aad5582f-1371-4a32-a648-791a95e90c60.jpg?v=1571611275 Vertical stripes definitely make you look slimmer. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230927 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230927_LR_718b5e80-eb75-444d-a8db-fd59f1aba5cc.jpg?v=1571611275 How d’you expect me to do all this homework without a computer? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230928 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230928_LR_55f742b7-c506-4185-b5df-f65bc34e8c87.jpg?v=1571611275 I usually do the dishes on her birthday. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230929 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230929_LR_92f0a18c-196c-4b7f-a0b2-4edaddbef896.jpg?v=1571611275 Who loaded this dishwasher? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm230930 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230930_LR_92fe0700-5a8a-4b5a-b568-51609275cff6.jpg?v=1571611275 Which way do you think it’s facing? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231002 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231002_LR_4045abf7-7179-4574-a907-99d15bca8719.jpg?v=1571611275 He makes $100 an hour as an electrician. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231003 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231003_LR_1d56b6f5-a22f-4876-8d6f-2992f6059056.jpg?v=1571611275 Are you sure it’s dead? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231004 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231004_LR_73319d50-b6db-41d6-8942-39adaede2487.jpg?v=1571611275 I’m studying astrophysics and you’re reading me ‘Goldilocks and the Three Bears’! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231005 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231005_LR_aefd2596-6fb6-469a-8ad0-ca728888b4f8.jpg?v=1571611275 Make up your stupid mind. Do you want me to cut your hair or not? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231006 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231006_LR_47a3564b-b64b-4c8b-9f72-bac66885ed1e.jpg?v=1571611276 They haven’t built the crib that can hold me. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231007 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231007_LR_d7bc57db-c4d1-4cda-8a70-22805b7f7032.jpg?v=1571611276 My wife took the car and that came home on its own. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231009 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231009_400.jpg?v=1571611276 D’you want me to pull it off fast or slow? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231010 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231010_LR_40ce8d4e-9188-4aaf-bec3-7478a0c66cd6.jpg?v=1571611276 Every summer we get another rash of ‘Littlefoot’ sightings. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231011 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231011_LR_1f037062-c423-4826-b87d-cf529dea9637.jpg?v=1571611276 We didn’t eat all that junk food when I was a kid. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231012 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231012_LR_239249b9-9683-4e28-bd01-b7be63082075.jpg?v=1571611276 How come my sister gets big blue capsules and I get cough syrup? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231013 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231013_LR_958ea18b-b008-440a-afdc-67f7472a45a5.jpg?v=1571611276 Don’t ask. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231014 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231014_LR_2401828b-fcda-4570-bb0b-f0997456c96e.jpg?v=1571611276 I know you got 30 years! But you still have to pay my legal fees. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231016 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231016_LR_e6b03cfb-9e56-4196-8624-7144bb1bfaba.jpg?v=1571611276 Guess who? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231017 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231017_LR_d0f73f0f-6a11-4395-9707-8654a047b253.jpg?v=1571611276 He’s got his grandfather’s nose. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231018 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231018_LR_fded1ba3-0687-4fda-9a49-567d043cd9ce.jpg?v=1571611276 What if everyone went around pouring ketchup over their mother-in-law? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231019 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231019_LR_3b0788bc-038a-418e-b7a8-1a209dcc6e2b.jpg?v=1571611276 Mom found your credit cards under the mattress and she’s gone shopping. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231020 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231020_LR_0d9d7f10-1d9b-4bbb-a974-e76e666dda79.jpg?v=1571611276 I’m gonna use this ball. I keep losing the other ones. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231021 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231021_LR_cc606811-8b0d-4a87-9a6b-aafb2e8abb80.jpg?v=1571611276 Take that back! It tastes like the stuff my wife makes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231023 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231023_LR_7b7fba12-f039-4281-bb6a-c4afb52f9dce.jpg?v=1571611276 They won’t breed like that! Push the bowls closer together. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231024 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231024_LR_870a17ab-b4bd-4f2d-8e5a-016e6bf48de3.jpg?v=1571611276 You’ve got Dutch elm disease. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231025 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231025_LR_97a523f2-d361-4ef2-877d-5b55eb23d88e.jpg?v=1571611276 If women change after marriage, I’m in luck! My fiancee can’t cook and argues every five minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231026 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231026_LR_dc04777b-313b-4b06-934c-500dac40bc5c.jpg?v=1571611276 Are they allowed to give me five parking tickets in one day? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231027 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231027_LR_d92fbcbd-d11b-4499-9fff-2527672c46ed.jpg?v=1571611276 I’ll have two eggs and some b-a-c-o-n. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231028 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231028_LR_36b76eb8-8123-45ce-9dcf-64b05690d93a.jpg?v=1571611276 Let me do the talking. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231030 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231030_LR_3ba54d8c-8122-4939-98c7-0a3c69eb3d6b.jpg?v=1571611276 How could anyone flush a goldfish down a sink? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231031 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231031_LR_77f4b089-77bb-420a-ab68-9be597b9044e.jpg?v=1571611276 You asked us to build a computer which could replace the government. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231101 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231101_LR_554b9249-a614-407e-a8df-e76f27956fa2.jpg?v=1571611276 You won’t find it under ‘plumber.’ Look under ‘drain surgeon.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231102 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231102_LR_3ccba0da-685d-4698-9b9b-e848481a4a0f.jpg?v=1571611276 Go to sleep. Everybody has one foot bigger than the other. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231103 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231103_LR_9c54f87f-e472-4f5c-8c97-424463859a09.jpg?v=1571611276 I bought the first cup last Tuesday. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231104 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231104_LR_b5038546-2a59-4cf2-9070-ab0f03e2ffd1.jpg?v=1571611276 It says.’Owee. Ouch-ouch. Get off. Hurts. Oh, please. GET OFF!!!’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231106 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231106_LR_3949017b-6629-4de0-be03-effb4f77455a.jpg?v=1571611276 There’s nothing on TV. D’you want to have an argument? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231107 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231107_LR_2f242939-f117-4887-8c51-96e33b5ca083.jpg?v=1571611276 Two cheeseburgers to go. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231108 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231108_LR_c1cc6982-8968-4ede-bbf5-1ac110d495c9.jpg?v=1571611276 If you’re thinking of buying lottery tickets, save your money. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231109 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231109_LR_455ca130-cfeb-47ee-89c6-159f053de29b.jpg?v=1571611276 Let’s get out of here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231110 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231110_LR_3b44224e-e722-4422-bd66-e634e3e757f1.jpg?v=1571611276 What do you mean, you ‘got custody’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231111 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231111_LR_fe05ddea-7d3b-402f-814a-a4437a1abea1.jpg?v=1571611276 Where else will you get an eight-seater for that price? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231113 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231113_LR_3d007231-02fa-4130-9216-f930ee8ad151.jpg?v=1571611276 He takes after his great great great great great great great great great-grandfather. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231114 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231114_LR_f88d565b-b697-4d6f-bbce-d3a250645497.jpg?v=1571611277 You want a career? Try chasing bloodthirsty animals with a homemade spear. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231115 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231115_LR_1cbae29c-cefb-4e9f-8108-7331d1433a9a.jpg?v=1571611277 ‘Catch of the Day’ is fish sticks. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231116 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231116_LR_bf92b7bc-e288-43b5-9a8b-6c3c1b34f3f3.jpg?v=1571611277 In 10 years, she’s gone from ballerina to sports arena. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231117 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231117_LR_99054098-2820-4cd7-af01-9a8f3d781be9.jpg?v=1571611277 Happy birthday… I dropped your cake. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231118 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231118_LR_bcd60ef0-a302-4fde-a18d-4beb3d4c7921.jpg?v=1571611277 Your wife stuck in the bath again? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231120 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231120_LR_a41d97fa-d760-4964-9f46-2eaee52301d2.jpg?v=1571611277 Heel. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231121 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231121_LR_e6a5a31e-c096-4b9e-828a-b045262f2f0c.jpg?v=1571611277 I’ll have my usual: two eggs over greasy. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231122 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231122_LR_25718bba-800d-490b-9bcd-d6757c18d98b.jpg?v=1571611277 Three wishes for a dollar. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231123 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231123_LR_2a370696-f73c-4bab-a136-7403272a0c0a.jpg?v=1571611277 I said, bring me a pitcher of water. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231124 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231124_LR_bb876847-cce5-4273-8c8e-c7a7515eecb7.jpg?v=1571611277 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231125 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231125_LR_3b450c02-89fd-443a-a4e4-9a7e661fd1a4.jpg?v=1571611277 If you’re bored, go home. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231127 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231127_LR_125bc308-01bc-4ac3-af7f-1c2d1f9a3bcc.jpg?v=1571611277 When are you gonna understand? We’re not ‘jet-set’ we’re ‘train-set.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231128 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231128_LR_fd09b0da-077d-49e4-b85d-d7cbe23eae7d.jpg?v=1571611277 My wife needs plenty of warning with the lemonade. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231129 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231129_LR_7d646ab4-d796-4614-b5f3-34cb56b08a47.jpg?v=1571611277 I said we ought to iron out our differences so she hit me with the steam iron. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231130 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231130_LR_e0c8a34f-9086-4aaa-aa67-4f057d9613c2.jpg?v=1571611277 Goodbye and good luck. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231201 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231201_LR_7bb09a63-dfe0-4477-8881-50e1c97650d2.jpg?v=1571611277 I never said a word. He said it! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231202 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231202_LR_41b0fa82-9fdf-40b4-9eb3-d91f3f4ceb07.jpg?v=1571611277 My husband will be doing all the parking. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231204 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231204_LR_bb017f63-17e5-493a-a56a-69a1048cc475.jpg?v=1571611277 If that’s supposed to improve your looks, it worked! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231205 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231205_LR_a5382522-c725-4e42-8606-32b67de9c393.jpg?v=1571611277 I need the front of a Ford and the back of a Toyota. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231206 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231206_LR_b271b88c-aadf-441d-8401-ef71aa3b0374.jpg?v=1571611277 You go ahead of me. I think you’re faster. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231207 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231207_LR_9f93fc80-d932-4786-afd1-42f74ef1bece.jpg?v=1571611277 We went to Greece for a second honeymoon. Six days and seven fights. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231208 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231208_LR_d5ae238c-3745-4899-beae-4860e990651a.jpg?v=1571611277 I can’t find the steak anywhere. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231209 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231209_LR.jpg?v=1571611277 What’s that supposed to be? I want it for this Christmas, not for 2035. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231211 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231211_LR_aaf1892e-0425-465a-aedd-6d0c289e5dff.jpg?v=1571611277 It was in the freezer and must have thawed out! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231212 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231212_LR_91fb6402-1b02-4700-8602-bd381a6663c0.jpg?v=1571611277 Can you manage that lot in one night? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231213 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231213_LR_422af6c9-649f-48d0-ab7a-af007275c78d.jpg?v=1571611277 Must be the flowers I ordered for you birthday. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231214 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231214_LR_6380d7f6-6d4d-472b-a0c8-95b03ede9a83.jpg?v=1571611277 204 lbs. on the left and 189 lbs. on the right. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231215 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231215_LR_29ca3b66-9cc8-425c-99ef-a69abe4f5a86.jpg?v=1571611277 Not so much ice next time. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231216 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231216_LR_0d6fc685-fa41-4459-a0e8-2a6ef8ef847c.jpg?v=1571611277 What are you asking me for? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231218 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231218_LR_e6983fc8-5ac9-47a0-a8fb-bb9acb866f9f.jpg?v=1571611277 Want a bow on it? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231219 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231219_LR_44d40201-7ed8-462c-935d-b5fa9d85e487.jpg?v=1571611277 I hate to leave without buying something. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231220 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231220_LR_55949945-e622-44be-bd6e-b09433d7649d.jpg?v=1571611277 Here’s your supper. I’ve waxed the floor. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231221 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231221_LR_b780af9a-30b2-484c-ac1b-4d6135f32479.jpg?v=1571611277 You can go home for Christmas. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231222 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231222_LR_3467d4fc-5fa0-4215-b930-a2f4947ec6e0.jpg?v=1571611277 That’s the fifth time you’ve wished me a Merry Christmas; what are you up to? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231223 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231223_LR_a07c1e5d-c743-447a-ad26-b33060ccc286.jpg?v=1571611277 Get the stuff wrapped. They must be asleep by now. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231225 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231225_LR_9f2dc94b-6424-4326-821d-236eb469acf9.jpg?v=1571611278 They’re still awake. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231226 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231226_LR_e111bb2a-f84d-425e-a381-f3f1bc9399f2.jpg?v=1571611278 Socks again! I bought you a digital watch. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231227 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231227_LR_009bea9a-0121-4a52-8488-10301bbc75d0.jpg?v=1571611278 Give me a wake-up call around the middle of next week. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231228 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231228_LR_4fdd7932-5db0-4524-b07c-8855aaa5392b.jpg?v=1571611278 Will you please tell the court if this is the man you saw standing on the corner. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231229 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231229_LR_283fc243-cfb8-4fda-97b6-ff3225859e8d.jpg?v=1571611278 Extraterrestrials have landed. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm231230 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM231230_LR_de8ffb8b-7ec7-4d26-9d85-2b0ccc1c5e42.jpg?v=1571611278 Sure I’ll take you out to dinner! Which two restaurants? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240101 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240101_LR_2ccd3d6c-5c14-47e5-a3a8-5839030f8e9c.jpg?v=1571611278 Aren’t you going to wish me a Happy New Year? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240102 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240102_LR_34c6883a-47ed-4b15-8c58-b128591cc117.jpg?v=1571611278 He says you gotta go to bed and take a couple of aspirins. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240103 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240103_LR_2a34302a-da78-4e5a-a815-e4924f5aff16.jpg?v=1571611278 Can you eat turkey leftovers again? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240104 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240104_LR_3dbbb87b-3d66-435e-be52-895108bc07f4.jpg?v=1571611278 Guess which tree my dad hit. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240105 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240105_LR_80fa7f75-b9a5-4130-aec8-8437fbe81f84.jpg?v=1571611278 They should move Christmas to January — everything’s cheaper. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240106 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240106_LR_a5d0a9f1-ad73-458c-b15b-5acf2cc7d47b.jpg?v=1571611278 We’re nine points down. You’re fired. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240108 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240108_LR_2fc8898c-bfe6-40b5-a79c-734bcadfe40d.jpg?v=1571611278 Her mother had a coat made and put ‘squirrel’ on the endangered species list! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240109 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240109_LR_a70d0fe0-1341-4a75-b5f5-671d52db4d69.jpg?v=1571611278 We’ve just walked two miles… that’s 14 for him. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240110 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240110_LR_026b09e0-c2c3-4fc4-a767-680aa6b7f960.jpg?v=1571611278 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240111 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240111_LR_48dd09b8-5fa0-4d94-beda-10c5e6bfcad8.jpg?v=1571611278 When I said I wanted heavy-duty shocks, I didn’t mean the bill. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240112 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240112_LR_31cc7be6-e007-4f81-b6a3-2f97eb4c64fc.jpg?v=1571611278 Shakespeare, did your father help you with this homework? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240113 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240113_LR_1940f508-be3e-428c-a4e0-88c8da46472b.jpg?v=1571611278 I know you’re cold. It’s cold for all of us. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240115 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240115_LR_9ce45f0d-8f1b-44cf-8f7d-59b336cfb343.jpg?v=1571611278 Want me to get you a wig for your birthday? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240116 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240116_LR_d7dba180-f97c-4b16-8933-f6c208a231f2.jpg?v=1571611278 There’s a 200-foot monster outside and he tells her to bolt the door. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240117 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240117_LR_fdbb9721-cf29-4b11-b224-d891bd2edaf0.jpg?v=1571611278 Your mother’s out in the yard. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240118 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240118_LR_8824d53f-a7ba-4275-84e1-42923ea0cfa6.jpg?v=1571611278 Make sure you hand that pass back before you leave the building. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240119 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240119_LR_2c598c22-89e2-47cd-858f-cfddb8ba46f0.jpg?v=1571611278 I always sit behind her on the bus in case there’s a head-on collision. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240120 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240120_LR_b7765f1e-db3b-41a4-b04a-6e21055718c1.jpg?v=1571611278 He’s allowed only in the kitchen. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240122 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240122_LR_2cacbae2-d8b5-49e2-b3fc-838c743f7020.jpg?v=1571611278 Divorce is very hard on the goldfish. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240123 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240123_LR_da350e4d-722b-41df-b29c-23914979cc0c.jpg?v=1571611278 You go and have your family reunion and I’ll meet you by the penguins. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240124 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240124_LR_1e6f42b4-0c59-4174-83c5-ebbb9ab80dab.jpg?v=1571611278 Did you feed this cat? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240125 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240125_LR_ea41f22c-4d49-4e3b-ad9d-165b4f296e86.jpg?v=1571611278 What time did he discharge himself? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240126 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240126_LR_4aac7940-5be9-4354-9db3-30f7e9a2d326.jpg?v=1571611278 Got a pedal for a ‘91 Batmobile? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240127 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240127_LR_3541b9d8-7164-4b5f-a521-c2f08507da61.jpg?v=1571611278 My name or the dog’s? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240129 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240129_LR_d8604f67-6bfe-41ff-8c36-22bc6bd37958.jpg?v=1571611278 Wanna take it for a test push? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240130 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240130_LR_84291bcd-acea-4dc0-b473-15d61cef1bad.jpg?v=1571611279 This is my oldest hamster, Marvin, from my first marriage. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240131 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240131_LR_b6232c62-e1e2-42a4-bc76-8a4928247581.jpg?v=1571611279 Millions of years of evolution, and that’s the latest model! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240201 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240201_LR_bd1d247a-8531-4e27-afb2-e3a4490ba99b.jpg?v=1571611279 Terrible thing, depression. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240202 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240202_LR_084f7e0a-2ff3-4a70-be0f-c787fd1b0c23.jpg?v=1571611279 Just imagine I’m a pizza and deliver me to my sister’s. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240203 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240203_LR_56a92943-a3d1-4b9e-8d91-24d32ee63d8e.jpg?v=1571611279 I wouldn’t buy anything else from the Amazon. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240205 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240205_LR_85ae1d9b-9db6-49b9-92c9-c16c18f30b58.jpg?v=1571611279 One round-trip and one one-way. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240206 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240206_LR_49fef48c-d21d-430d-b3eb-853ccf9eebbf.jpg?v=1571611279 Now, what seems to be the trouble? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240207 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240207_LR_276e3cad-a27d-42bc-9ccc-4712ef9e46a9.jpg?v=1571611279 George is an astronomer. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240208 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240208_LR_ac944bc9-d68b-4ffe-b6c8-f6c9f4d1140b.jpg?v=1571611279 That lifeguard said, ‘Tell your wife to stay out of the shipping lanes.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240209 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240209_LR_3d8aab88-a884-4508-af4c-54d703e2fe00.jpg?v=1571611279 It’s Happy Hour. Do you want grape or raspberry? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240210 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240210_LR_576f9956-5166-4af6-98c7-473688795fcf.jpg?v=1571611279 Hey, Rosie. Gimme a small grape juice and stick it on his tab. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240212 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240212_LR_43a4d6af-e0ae-4b0d-8489-3907b829fa8f.jpg?v=1571611279 Whaddyer mean, ‘They don’t look like you’? You idiot. They’re eggs! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240213 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240213_LR_a51eb4af-1e91-4382-acb9-d9df40e10cf1.jpg?v=1571611279 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240214 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240214_LR_7bb877fa-b7d1-46b9-b067-783274e6a8fc.jpg?v=1571611279 He didn’t know it was adjustable. He thought it was for a vibrating massage. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240215 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240215_LR_9a8c222d-f243-4922-bc13-349237e56035.jpg?v=1571611279 Today’s special is spaghetti with alphabet letters in the sauce. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240216 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240216_LR_78886b12-7606-4c40-bf56-0f3cd11a0e16.jpg?v=1571611279 The other scraper! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240217 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240217_LR_c2336be6-a1fb-4697-8315-5080d8c355ce.jpg?v=1571611279 He always does that when he’s hungry. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240219 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240219_LR_f0d02d4d-061d-461f-afac-e0b219125147.jpg?v=1571611279 I’m a singing birthday card. Got a piano and a couple of beers? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240220 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240220_LR_eecc679e-eac6-48bd-819a-d1ff254e7095.jpg?v=1571611279 He took out my appendix and I haven’t got a scar. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240221 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240221_LR_24c87b76-ebb2-49f7-b9d4-483ef52c0928.jpg?v=1571611279 You’ve got enough in there for two weeks. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240222 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240222_LR_27a458ae-07b3-4795-ae2b-8e94e066ba83.jpg?v=1571611279 You’ll need a wide-angle lense for protraits. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240223 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240223_LR_36ab75f5-7bca-42b2-ba0a-fd0bc7a520f5.jpg?v=1571611279 She never wants to go out. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240224 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240224_LR_b4999e04-c1a1-4d87-99f8-34cf19914a92.jpg?v=1571611279 I don’t know how you can stand to eat those things. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240226 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240226_LR_986f2d0c-f8e9-4744-8e33-d9e14597b7ce.jpg?v=1571611279 He’s 50,000 years old. That’s three and a half million to you and me. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240227 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240227_LR_eb2c88c7-a139-4b15-b781-7fd4b1c1df91.jpg?v=1571611279 A lot of men would love to be 7 feet tall. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240228 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240228_LR_b7f50e2b-4b26-48ff-b662-7e1572b4fd43.jpg?v=1571611279 We were just toying with the idea of going to see a movie. Can you come back in about three minutes? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240229 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240229_LR_c825572c-ce59-4e9e-acfc-0c85ba14886b.jpg?v=1571611279 You ordered a small Pisa. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240301 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240301_LR_860646b3-4557-4e54-b0cc-387d1b62d381.jpg?v=1571611279 We found your knees. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240302 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240302_LR_2215784c-6120-4e3e-8213-ad806a3eb504.jpg?v=1571611279 Dad, the cat got married! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240304 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240304_LR_4e74e895-1d21-48c4-85cd-2ba9ca98330c.jpg?v=1571611279 Got any calorie-reduced, caffeine-free, non-dairy, low-cholesterol dog biscuits? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240305 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240305_LR_fb825ab9-0a64-4122-8774-25afad663b9b.jpg?v=1571611279 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240306 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240306_LR_c617b7d5-da91-4c6b-b4b3-47809623b273.jpg?v=1571611279 They’re gonna use your X-rays in a textbook! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240307 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240307_LR_d0054860-7feb-455e-83b7-67b841fad2e9.jpg?v=1571611279 I don’t want to rush things. Let’s exchange photographs first. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240308 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240308_LR_5c0a9e98-32e0-4dc9-b037-4c65c567c519.jpg?v=1571611279 Who’s next? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240309 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240309_LR_7c2046d5-7298-4c84-985c-db730fa86204.jpg?v=1571611280 You’re a vet. Don’t you know what it is? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240311 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240311_LR_9ca38e15-347f-4a44-8f8e-34c488b27b68.jpg?v=1571611280 Wait till you guys feel this leather. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240312 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240312_LR_784267d5-944b-4d3a-91ad-fc085c08f1dd.jpg?v=1571611280 Does anyone need to use the bathroom while we’re here? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240313 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240313_LR_4a60d9d0-916a-451f-a271-3e346888b5f8.jpg?v=1571611280 And don’t give me any of those local anesthetics. Get me the imported stuff. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240314 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240314_LR_a09b8271-cce7-4624-ba48-748fcc8f0b2e.jpg?v=1571611280 He tied a knot. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240315 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240315_LR_e64be9ce-7ece-4658-bf3e-fd606e625959.jpg?v=1571611280 We’ll take the one on the left. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240316 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240316_LR_4e28140e-083e-4c39-8c21-d4c39537801a.jpg?v=1571611280 You put the comics page in here. You know he likes the editorials. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240318 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240318_LR_f3ed86a9-3f0d-401e-aab2-13c30bde2ee9.jpg?v=1571611280 The dog ate a whole bag of chili powder. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240319 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240319_LR_21e4d0b7-43f2-4bd9-b512-747692760453.jpg?v=1571611280 Eventually, when we get more space, we’re gonna build them little houses and real little lawn mowers. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240320 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240320_LR_fc89a907-2651-4fb3-8b87-767f99831e4e.jpg?v=1571611280 Hey, Harry, can I have the key to the sugar? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240321 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240321_LR_91f6618d-1eaf-428a-932f-fa18be42fa61.jpg?v=1571611280 I told her I wanted a ‘trial separation’ so she tried to separate my shoulder! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240322 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240322_LR_e3319a06-2851-4dcf-bb61-deaa58f8ba03.jpg?v=1571611280 I wanna buy a book about the universe. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240323 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240323_LR_c2824578-410a-4d42-9a3b-8cc9aff828b1.jpg?v=1571611280 I told you it wouldn’t float. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240325 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240325_LR_3cb65bd4-5d31-4ee1-97b4-3b61bf883ba6.jpg?v=1571611280 Is that supposed to be a tip? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240326 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240326_LR_13337b27-8f9b-4872-90c1-7a3d42c955ca.jpg?v=1571611280 385 pounds, including the towel. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240327 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240327_LR_93bbdc24-ae68-491b-9d4d-9b71167e0705.jpg?v=1571611280 Did you say that guy next door joined the Army? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240328 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240328_LR_e1f1bdd5-039d-4874-b589-523df5153b7f.jpg?v=1571611280 Bagel! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240329 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240329_LR_65ba7319-000e-4edc-979b-0c2080e55495.jpg?v=1571611280 I stongly recommend the only thing we’ve got left. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240330 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240330_LR_561c0225-0886-493a-bef8-e0dbfaa922f4.jpg?v=1571611280 We bought another dog. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240401 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240401_LR_acb15b4f-5ce4-45d1-94ab-1fb2cff89304.jpg?v=1571611280 OK, OK… you can stay out Saturday night. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240402 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240402_LR_e26fe3f8-c70c-453f-894b-a5c4b080cad9.jpg?v=1571611280 Your medical insurance has run out. You’ll have to remove your own bandages. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240403 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240403_LR_03d08955-d423-4d5f-a20c-8e88411f5069.jpg?v=1571611280 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240404 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240404_LR_536d5af7-b238-4818-8473-468e7d26c2f3.jpg?v=1571611280 Contact lens cleaner? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240405 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240405_LR_fdb6e4e5-1480-4a13-a97a-3e8b89d1261f.jpg?v=1571611280 Getting ready for the annual sheep count, Mildew? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240406 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240406_LR_452d98eb-700a-48d2-91bd-58010d7409a3.jpg?v=1571611280 How much would it cost to send a 185-pound wooden crate to Hawaii for two weeks? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240408 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240408_LR_66f788bc-be68-4f5c-85f4-015ad9a9b001.jpg?v=1571611280 Remember what you learned yesterday. You’ve got to sit up here behind the wheel. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240409 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240409_LR_092c6272-4560-4e18-9a61-be49227251db.jpg?v=1571611280 We’ll get you down to X-ray in a few minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240410 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240410_LR_784dc674-94e5-46fd-85b6-597d5106abaf.jpg?v=1571611280 You’d look a lot better if you didn’t wear a striped shirt. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240411 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240411_LR_7f3e34d3-62b8-48ce-a3b2-00e6a9b34691.jpg?v=1571611280 What happened to the TV? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240412 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240412_LR_b29bca47-792f-4ac8-82ee-2964f7b34382.jpg?v=1571611280 He hates taking a bath. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240413 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240413_LR_887d9797-7727-4c86-88e1-64a791f8c1fb.jpg?v=1571611280 What am I going to do if it rains? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240415 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240415_LR_bcc32447-2aba-4661-9283-4da7231def69.jpg?v=1571611280 No offense, but I have installed a little electronic homing device on my suitcase. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240416 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240416_LR_d71fff59-070a-4b9d-8758-f19d4f5ddb74.jpg?v=1571611281 It’s too tight. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240417 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240417_LR_580f0ea9-83e0-40e1-8ee4-165847a58b44.jpg?v=1571611281 $84 for labor! Wow, what an honor! Bill Gates changed my plugs. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240418 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240418_LR_11a538ed-da25-41ee-bf15-86ddbb5cee1e.jpg?v=1571611281 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240419 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240419_LR_8c24ee14-6878-4904-85c0-f6553676b486.jpg?v=1571611281 They know it’s feeding time in 10 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240420 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240420_LR_140b8e9c-bb7c-490c-af7a-f71a8320e1a4.jpg?v=1571611281 Are we still hiring minorities? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240422 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240422_LR_7586837a-1c9a-4597-a479-06ee95c6d5f8.jpg?v=1571611281 I’ve just proved I don’t exist. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240423 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240423_LR_72d776de-3bf5-46d0-960c-6e1cb95dfe96.jpg?v=1571611281 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240424 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240424_LR_310c0499-7a1c-404d-9714-549b2bb425d1.jpg?v=1571611281 I decided to save you the trouble of visiting me. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240425 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240425_LR_2e9d38a6-4ecc-498e-8b2c-c20b0576c68c.jpg?v=1571611281 I don’t suppose you got the license plate number, did you? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240426 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240426_LR_9763cf6b-eca2-4179-ad36-eb1801a8a240.jpg?v=1571611281 Are you thinking what I’m thinking? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240427 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240427_LR_1ceca324-b29e-478d-be6c-ed56f7f69159.jpg?v=1571611281 Excuse me… you’re blocking the aisle! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240429 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240429_LR_6e462c93-7215-4b5d-9660-614c1458a93d.jpg?v=1571611281 This will all be yours one day, Darryl. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240430 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240430_LR_9d369ccd-ab09-4d7e-9141-24a86bc928c4.jpg?v=1571611281 It states quite clearly… ‘evening dress.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240501 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240501_LR_c72efb6a-9a20-423c-af55-929a95adcd4b.jpg?v=1571611281 Oh no! Freezer burn! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240502 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240502_LR_c9603353-b4a1-4075-94c1-f5bb3a6f7bdd.jpg?v=1571611281 This one’s not doing much for me. What else have you got? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240503 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240503_LR_0ada3bfd-833e-4190-bf6f-f57938bb304a.jpg?v=1571611281 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240504 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240504_LR_da746246-a5e1-471a-a69f-d2dff1b68bad.jpg?v=1571611281 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240506 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240506_LR_86811057-3c42-4e32-b188-f626d4eae103.jpg?v=1571611281 When I said for better or for worse, I didn’t know the worse was gonna be this worse. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240507 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240507_LR_7d268188-44c3-436f-b5dc-7979547b032e.jpg?v=1571611281 It must be your pronunciation. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240508 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240508_LR_a14ec0ad-f11c-4a07-adcc-df1683e2216a.jpg?v=1571611281 When I was a little girl I used to be afraid of sliding down the drain. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240509 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240509_LR_b54ab6fd-50a3-4d9a-9f17-2d46001b077e.jpg?v=1571611281 Your wife says you stopped a runaway horse. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240510 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240510_LR_a752fb16-c506-4f79-8099-6aec478f0cbd.jpg?v=1571611281 Needless to say, we don’t buy extra-large eggs anymore. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240511 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240511_LR_39992618-7096-4b47-9660-4ca06e35b852.jpg?v=1571611281 I don’t have to take off my clothes, do I? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240513 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240513_LR_ed60c027-4d28-4492-8a92-e475d74d5fe7.jpg?v=1571611281 With this $365 ring, plus sales tax, I thee wed. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240514 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240514_LR_7886984a-353a-4ec1-9b37-16455320297b.jpg?v=1571611281 Make up your mind, Harold. Which one of us do you want to stay married to? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240515 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240515_LR_5adca524-3f60-4add-91ea-9f5d34bc2191.jpg?v=1571611281 I need enough money to buy my fiance an ice-cream. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240516 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240516_LR_60b9796e-ed19-42a7-a12f-f6a92ed68e1b.jpg?v=1571611281 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240517 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240517_LR_f696985c-d81a-4bcf-b49c-1d002e8d9615.jpg?v=1571611281 Will you stop grinding your teeth! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240518 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240518_LR_4d52ce8a-fb39-4432-86d3-dbc8d795c2a2.jpg?v=1571611282 I think you ordered us a three-course meal from the wine list. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240520 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240520_LR_9854764e-4d1d-41f5-a7c0-3d5686b124b6.jpg?v=1571611282 What do you mean you overslept? That’s the third battle you missed this month! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240521 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240521_LR_4bc81eed-2b4d-4046-8a99-90049c0993a0.jpg?v=1571611282 The old methods are still the best. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240522 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240522_LR_d58e5037-7bcb-4675-b39b-e32cbe3848c6.jpg?v=1571611282 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240523 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240523_LR_04360ade-f6c1-410f-b73d-dc34b252e476.jpg?v=1571611282 I know he’s your cousin, Maurice, but don’t you think he’s a little strange? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240524 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240524_LR_7ad83a24-3ebc-49ff-9553-2000388ec2a4.jpg?v=1571611282 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240525 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240525_LR_d8692f36-2536-46f4-bf7c-7dc05eb9ab54.jpg?v=1571611282 Drink this, but stand over there by the sink. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240527 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240527_LR_996970d5-9e6c-4914-be27-374204941117.jpg?v=1571611282 It’s barely noticeable from the outside. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240528 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240528_LR_13add2da-6d31-4b93-a2a1-b03406e95678.jpg?v=1571611282 Do you want to know what’s wrong with you or just the dollar amount? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240529 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240529_LR_b31033ff-8f0d-4c41-856e-d4bb40d1d31c.jpg?v=1571611282 You gonna be long? I’m double-parked. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240530 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240530_LR_efaa6aa7-b2e9-4d30-9eeb-1e97fb3e3bc9.jpg?v=1571611282 We’ve genetically engineered a tuna exactly the same diameter as our cans. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240531 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240531_LR_d8832558-1c1f-4715-b314-680ec76a5fc7.jpg?v=1571611282 I’ll just let them help themselves. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240601 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240601_LR_9e8f9267-4b3a-414a-bcf3-b26bb034eea0.jpg?v=1571611282 Your resume says you spent ‘fore years at collej.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240603 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240603_LR_c7f5280f-2ef6-45a2-98fb-0e54225660f6.jpg?v=1571611282 You got down there to do sit-ups and fell asleep. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240604 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240604_LR_14f074c1-0794-4df7-a8ee-e25cfd16c163.jpg?v=1571611282 We were made for each other, Cybil! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240605 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240605_LR_16f491c2-177e-4767-8051-f5454ef7237e.jpg?v=1571611282 What do you mean you don’t trust banks? You only have $34. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240606 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240606_LR_baffef52-31cb-41c8-82eb-c8128bc3ef74.jpg?v=1571611282 Who d’you think wants to drink that after you’ve been sitting in it? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240607 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240607_LR_769b68d7-45e9-4553-8dfb-f5cb600aaa9f.jpg?v=1571611282 I hit it with the truck. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240608 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240608_LR_93a49f35-2e51-4ab5-8989-682b49d643d6.jpg?v=1571611282 I was abandoned by my parents as a baby, and raised by a family of rabbits. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240610 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240610_LR_c62be412-76d5-4d99-8555-99037c5addb5.jpg?v=1571611282 Five cans of ceiling white. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240611 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240611_LR_ebd40ceb-2e11-4ed6-9039-d548b2d976db.jpg?v=1571611282 So, did any of your other clients lose money on the stock market besides me? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240612 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240612_LR_551ec036-3aa0-4180-83f0-b8ef8af67a21.jpg?v=1571611282 Joyce, what was that thing you bought for your car when it wouldn’t start? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240613 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240613_LR_b53ef671-3942-4e28-a403-6cef50403d5c.jpg?v=1571611282 Mom!… I’m over here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240614 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240614_LR_f339e862-5b13-4d0a-bfe1-6f1be811a27e.jpg?v=1571611282 Get lost, lady. I’m looking for the X-ray department. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240615 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240615_LR_62c02004-74b0-45cc-9f41-a610126ca9d8.jpg?v=1571611282 I’m looking for a card that reflects me… cheap. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240617 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240617_LR_2c341446-8d05-4e41-ae91-53ede771e86f.jpg?v=1571611282 Try to remember all the things you’ve eaten in the past three days. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240618 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240618_LR_cd906ec2-c8b5-4321-854f-b15c9b5b71d3.jpg?v=1571611282 I can’t remember: Are accountants ‘left brain’ or ‘right brain’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240619 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240619_LR_a693b564-5a2c-4379-9b6b-2d6b5b7c0d79.jpg?v=1571611282 He starts barking when the mailman leaves the depot. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240620 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240620_LR_44b7776c-90be-45c0-ac40-d4c64d846579.jpg?v=1571611282 Don’t turn around, and hand over the keys to the monkey house. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240621 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240621_LR_32ffcc83-0754-4d9b-bb59-db2281fbaf64.jpg?v=1571611282 That picture was taken when I was on the ground. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240622 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240622_LR_ac8e1388-5e19-4b8b-bcb9-501a48aa4de4.jpg?v=1571611282 He told me to wake him at exactly 8 o’clock. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240624 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240624_LR_6dc63cab-a2ae-4bc6-87dd-cb1500bce354.jpg?v=1571611282 Have a cup of coffee while I’m getting ready. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240625 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240625_LR_cb46e06c-8af1-45ab-8a8b-aca2dab35eb6.jpg?v=1571611283 Well, now you know what my ex-husband looks like. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240626 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240626_LR_53ece6aa-e341-4c47-88b3-4513829f1c01.jpg?v=1571611283 Good luck, Miller. Try to stay out of trouble. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240627 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240627_LR_146e0a46-1d6f-473a-afbb-dfe36b469b4b.jpg?v=1571611283 It serves him right. He’s bitten the valve off my tire! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240628 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240628_LR_d4b5d071-c7b5-4608-a39d-1bab830d1ded.jpg?v=1571611283 You never seen a ham operator before? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240629 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240629_LR_72ac987d-2241-4f77-a468-63c6461c4a26.jpg?v=1571611283 Special delivery. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240701 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240701_LR_e34cd7e0-6c82-4f26-8476-5fa04a97d8ab.jpg?v=1571611283 Doctor, I’m not getting a pulse. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240702 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240702_LR_56a2fecb-ea99-4b97-adcb-8cf54cd04462.jpg?v=1571611283 Don’t eat peanuts. You’re drawing a crowd. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240703 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240703_LR.jpg?v=1571611283 Remember six years ago when you left the gate open? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240704 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240704_LR_e4e0a27e-75db-4ad4-818a-87595b135ce6.jpg?v=1571611283 Did you have to hang the food right above the tent? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240705 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240705_LR_ae8578b6-22e8-4560-b830-c0f81aa6a32c.jpg?v=1571611283 I asked you a year ago to get me some help pulling up that drawbridge. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240706 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240706_LR_0361ea05-6e60-49cc-a0a2-a68c6dac55db.jpg?v=1571611283 That’s nice! You show up and all the gorillas run inside. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240708 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240708_LR_08abd68a-6076-45f5-b8dc-b992c530d313.jpg?v=1571611283 Eighty years old and he doesn’t have a gray hair in his head. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240709 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240709_LR_62245a9c-a6c7-4b34-94d2-e0619cf84be6.jpg?v=1571611283 Watch this! This is where she hits her husband over the head with a saucepan. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240710 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240710_LR_b460cccd-4c97-4ca3-b6b6-3df569eaade5.jpg?v=1571611283 This is a video of you two watching the video of our vacation. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240711 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240711_LR_7f1fb57f-7ca0-446e-9a79-aa944e2c7820.jpg?v=1571611283 That’ll be $64.50. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240712 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240712_LR_bad85c7f-cbff-43f2-8111-43bd075c92ae.jpg?v=1571611283 I don’t need to look at mug shots. It was my wife and her mother. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240713 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240713_LR_12435240-a0dc-4218-9515-eea2f5be9730.jpg?v=1571611283 It’s a buck-fifty for 14 hours. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240715 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240715_LR_302c8f22-7f91-4379-a4eb-ab99e11c607b.jpg?v=1571611283 Can’t you help me catch the canary? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240716 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240716_LR_ee33d8ac-5427-41dd-a8e1-112ee038f7c1.jpg?v=1571611283 Excuse me. I wonder if you would give me a little push? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240717 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240717_LR.jpg?v=1571611283 Two round-the-world cruises in opposite directions. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240718 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240718_LR_c820a135-e906-4415-bd1c-6172c5a276b9.jpg?v=1571611283 Daryl… we don’t need a meteorite! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240719 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240719_LR_6bd4b528-c9bb-4458-9c9d-3e85f8b806e3.jpg?v=1571611283 She makes all her own clothes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240720 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240720_LR_05d30b04-0708-40a6-a388-6357cfbee019.jpg?v=1571611283 I wonder if they’ll remember you. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240722 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240722_LR_a34bf63d-eca0-4d6c-920c-0d18c5627ac0.jpg?v=1571611283 You can have that three-legged one for $7.50. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240723 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240723_LR_17c81cd9-57e2-4805-bbbe-6bff601b9414.jpg?v=1571611283 Don’t kill it! It’ll fly away on its own. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240724 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240724_LR_7df249db-ffa5-4ecb-baef-cc7e0f951795.jpg?v=1571611283 That jogging certainly seems to be getting your weight down. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240725 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240725_LR_2c06427d-a297-4451-8409-e29c9bedf852.jpg?v=1571611283 Kiss him good night. He starts his new job tomorrow. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240726 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240726_LR_9d8cda8c-ce33-4177-8f76-368c950dd904.jpg?v=1571611283 Your driver’s license expired in 1914. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240727 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240727_LR_3608092a-463b-4b9d-88a2-96b29cf89cb2.jpg?v=1571611283 How come the dog gets lean beef and gravy and I get a cheese sandwich? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240729 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240729_LR_1660d4c7-04c1-4070-be93-c3674a5bf423.jpg?v=1571611283 It’s not working. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240730 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240730_LR_ae888b1b-cdf6-4f53-baf7-8914b30ee3ac.jpg?v=1571611283 Whose turn was it to put the dog out last night? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240731 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240731_LR_49860410-064c-4f89-9a74-713985b4c45d.jpg?v=1571611283 It’s in the kitchen as usual. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240801 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240801_LR_63075e13-defa-4158-85a5-48759c5360ba.jpg?v=1571611283 They knew how to build skeletons in those days. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240802 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240802_LR_032d1d4b-07aa-4735-bd17-d3b78829976e.jpg?v=1571611284 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240803 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240803_LR_13a1e697-80da-450c-bfa0-e7b4ee073747.jpg?v=1571611284 He’s got my tuna fish sandwiches again! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240805 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240805_LR_899a4f49-5f3d-4d65-97ac-c0411911d9e9.jpg?v=1571611284 Now he’s scratching the furniture with his teeth. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240806 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240806_LR_9bc3c043-f3fa-444a-b994-a88ad2e8f4db.jpg?v=1571611284 Listed kid, if I sold you a pair of roller skates, I’d lay awake nights worrying. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240807 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240807_LR_fab9f21b-eca8-4f2e-a27e-172ff3985984.jpg?v=1571611284 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240808 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240808_LR_77aee4ba-a4f8-44ec-966b-d94c91f13fa5.jpg?v=1571611284 D’you wanna speak to the boss or to someone who knows what she’s talking about? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240809 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240809_LR.jpg?v=1571611284 Not the laundry! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240810 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240810_LR_2e699182-9b48-40ae-b1bb-0c08db08f58b.jpg?v=1571611284 She wants to know what the pot roast was like. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240812 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240812_LR_0ed97893-acae-4b98-8084-1a5c4fd7857f.jpg?v=1571611284 Would you say you’re ‘dogmatic’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240813 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240813_LR_b5890c37-e0fd-4b4c-9eef-5b960a1d0523.jpg?v=1571611284 I told you not to plant it too close to the house. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240814 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240814_LR_702fa605-4f94-494b-ae0e-197eac86ac8c.jpg?v=1571611284 You can tell me now. I took the batteries out of his hearing aid. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240815 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240815_LR_1fecd608-36ee-4ff5-b7e1-35fdcf296501.jpg?v=1571611284 I don’t want my wife to find out I have an account here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240816 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240816_LR_4b615774-7a1c-4346-b723-3902a8288217.jpg?v=1571611284 What’s the paint-stripper of the day? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240817 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240817_LR_2fd3d8c0-abae-4d4b-ab44-eddf1178ac14.jpg?v=1571611284 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240819 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240819_LR_4dd39251-5195-4ddd-bfe2-c39504081636.jpg?v=1571611284 Good news and bad news. The good news is he won’t be scratching your furniture anymore. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240820 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240820_LR_b47eaab9-6d05-4be0-b8e7-fa994daa6a20.jpg?v=1571611284 You been talking to this cactus again? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240821 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240821_LR_2f1254d3-3f7b-4453-95b4-107264eda570.jpg?v=1571611284 What exactly do you mean by ‘Let’s you and me settle this outside in the alley’! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240822 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240822_LR_de407108-2ee7-4903-a41c-b128260ede56.jpg?v=1571611284 Your room’s upstairs. The ladder’s in the garage. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240823 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240823_LR_4fd2b470-940e-4d3c-9b95-9717c049f4cd.jpg?v=1571611284 Let’s see. How much rent do you owe me with 17 hotels on Boardwalk? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240824 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240824_LR_8ef95e9a-2279-437f-ad15-78edfc17ecbd.jpg?v=1571611284 We will now sing hymn No. 47. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240826 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240826_LR_c27675d5-a2f0-46c7-b716-1a15f6b190ae.jpg?v=1571611284 It’s just as ‘Goldie’ left it four years ago. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240827 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240827_LR_82bea895-03ec-4d12-99f2-abc62ee2ee9b.jpg?v=1571611284 That rotten dog made me a birthday card! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240828 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240828_LR_c2388552-c76a-4ad7-a6ab-b578ee0992b0.jpg?v=1571611284 Someone spilled a bottle this morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240829 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240829_LR_035d8653-f099-4115-9a02-6b71f0f44128.jpg?v=1571611284 It didn’t look like that in the store. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240830 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240830_LR_6b2b8b4d-9a95-412a-a5e9-7c1308fa37db.jpg?v=1571611284 I always wear my lucky hat for job interviews. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240831 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240831_LR_c66060b1-3cc0-4a50-a616-b66fdcc1b159.jpg?v=1571611284 He wants to be a veterinarian. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240902 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240902_LR_8f33196f-999f-4db3-aec0-2ad1c3be6a58.jpg?v=1571611284 George thinks they should consider releasing a few human beings back into the wild. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240903 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240903_LR_300202d3-2af1-4ed1-a26a-c3e9528d1481.jpg?v=1571611284 Dad, if you let me have a credit card, I swear I’ll never use it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240904 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240904_LR_7abdf44f-df94-4e58-b175-e3227d282eb1.jpg?v=1571611284 I’m gonna get you a Medic-Alert bracelet just in case you’re ever found conscious! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240905 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240905_LR_69d25716-8e69-4927-8b8a-73a8f7a3e3f8.jpg?v=1571611285 He was playing the violin. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240906 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240906_LR_7de02e89-f2ed-4a5e-9350-e3c570f123a0.jpg?v=1571611285 You don’t want us to become extinct, do you? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240907 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240907_LR_8626ce32-013b-4267-87de-002568bde070.jpg?v=1571611285 I want to make sure nobody steps on him. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240909 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240909_LR_f66fb3a2-88d3-476b-95c1-ff89715f820f.jpg?v=1571611285 It dudn’t get any better than this. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240910 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240910_LR_ed7e75af-186c-421b-880e-33c4ba3da309.jpg?v=1571611285 His teacher wants you to bake a cake for him to take to school. Must be a geology lesson. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240911 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240911_LR_1b4a0e3a-6723-43d7-ae15-1cff98a707b3.jpg?v=1571611285 Don’t forget it’s my mother’s birthday tomorrow. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240912 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240912_LR_d131725f-f6ae-4c38-b1e9-f318902c8d0c.jpg?v=1571611285 The band is not interested in your domestic problems, Wilson. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240913 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240913_LR_511c993a-60bb-445f-be3f-0de818795dea.jpg?v=1571611285 I dropped it in the elevator. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240914 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240914_LR_2e85472e-d805-44f8-b531-6ebf3c93d6c8.jpg?v=1571611285 If the house was on fire, who would you save first, me or the cat? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240916 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240916_LR.jpg?v=1571611285 Well, nobody can say you didn’t try. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240917 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240917_LR_52946823-4985-40b6-a808-9cb3410e8e98.jpg?v=1571611285 When you told me on the phone you were 42, 22, 38 I didn’t realize you meant your age, your I.Q. , and your shoe size. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240918 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240918_LR_a625e8ab-e009-4043-b067-f925e0984d68.jpg?v=1571611285 I can see my filing cabinet. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240919 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240919_LR_957958d5-6d53-4b45-8575-ab3d7587e68b.jpg?v=1571611285 I thought you said they’d fixed this thing! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240920 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240920_LR_e8a2cebc-9e61-4100-ab33-8306859b5614.jpg?v=1571611285 He wants a second opinion, Ronnie. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240921 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240921_LR_3eded7e1-6340-40b9-96fe-7946fcd0c054.jpg?v=1571611285 I didn’t know how to tell you before. The dog ran off 14 years ago. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240923 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240923_LR.jpg?v=1571611285 They’re all the same… As soon as I laid the egg, he was off. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240924 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240924_LR_17ff4b6b-f311-4f01-a2ed-cc6150b4bca4.jpg?v=1571611285 When we get short of bed space, we walk around the wards with it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240925 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240925_LR_2f043a6c-e727-4508-985d-e4f2c25e9bf3.jpg?v=1571611285 Don’t keep saying, ‘I wonder what it tastes like’! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240926 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240926_LR_df61a52a-6371-4fb7-a9fc-7344d74e02eb.jpg?v=1571611285 What am I… 48? That’s the first time I noticed my knees bend the other way! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240927 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240927_LR_9fb0a1e4-4d62-4424-ad8a-1f88ed778774.jpg?v=1571611285 If it’s for your wife, sir, I’d suggest crushed velvet. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240928 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240928_LR_6c875706-e6cc-4197-ae29-666d420ec880.jpg?v=1571611285 His family flew in for a visit. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm240930 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240930_LR_c4168294-54f7-41ca-9f65-31951e19729f.jpg?v=1571611285 He loves Chinese food. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241001 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241001_LR.jpg?v=1571611285 Your boss wants to hear you cough. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241002 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241002_LR.jpg?v=1571611285 Isn’t he the guy you wouldn’t let in last week without a tie? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241003 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241003_LR_0500d360-b292-46d5-b1a6-a8ff0d1b2be9.jpg?v=1571611285 This may be out of your price range. It’s $2. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241004 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241004_LR_d664d908-e393-42ca-bd5d-f7db464f3422.jpg?v=1571611285 Are you a good runner? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241005 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241005_LR_92b07b7c-2c72-4827-80e0-2586f221967f.jpg?v=1571611285 When I shout ‘Gun’, duck. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241007 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241007_LR_16f1580b-e40a-48b0-90c3-eda442a7014d.jpg?v=1571611285 Where does he take the driving test? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241008 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241008_LR_0cc1a2c8-7d18-4cd2-b937-fbe25d440928.jpg?v=1571611285 I’m well aware you’re only 28 years old. That’s why I’m telling you to take better care of yourself. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241009 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241009_LR_62700d10-8100-4ac5-a320-7b3b07206e12.jpg?v=1571611285 We don’t care whose house it is, we don’t want you at our party. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241010 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241010_LR_a8a21c0c-bdf6-4748-94a4-47af5181071a.jpg?v=1571611285 Have they removed the saxophone yet? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241011 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241011_LR_6f7fa85c-44f6-4d9b-b05f-8ea89b6cd521.jpg?v=1571611285 196, 197, 198, 199… https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241012 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241012_LR_451e91dc-bf38-47d1-bff8-d64c1fca2a1a.jpg?v=1571611285 The dog wants to come in. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241014 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241014_LR_e7d28c05-21cf-4049-a964-52e7e7a90a0d.jpg?v=1571611286 Keep your mouth closed when you’re eating. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241015 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241015_LR_bc63cb1e-77a4-42d7-95d3-3b3434f4e6d4.jpg?v=1571611286 I’d hazard a guess there’s an ‘E’ on there somewhere. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241016 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241016_LR_75338bd9-85a0-4adf-ae1d-bd31351d165c.jpg?v=1571611286 You’re going to have to stop eating on the run. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241017 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241017_LR_69a3a52b-8770-45ff-9320-8ac30e899131.jpg?v=1571611286 That stove should be in a war museum. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241018 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241018_LR_4c7bb78a-1a1d-43d3-94b7-3a79ddd35df9.jpg?v=1571611286 Good morning, sir. Is your wife home? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241019 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241019_LR_1cfa28d2-0ef0-4ea4-a1b8-d2b8fa767329.jpg?v=1571611286 Can you get that phone? I’m trying to bathe the dog. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241021 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241021_LR_87c86098-b7cb-4a34-8915-c11200a480fb.jpg?v=1571611286 Get a move on. I’m not paying $6 for another frisbee. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241022 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241022_LR_33c407c2-5497-4566-b751-de496b7ed0a9.jpg?v=1571611286 I’m taking you off the vitamins for a while. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241023 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241023_LR_2aeed990-3197-4a1f-ae6d-e871afd08e90.jpg?v=1571611286 My hands are not as steady as they used to be. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241024 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241024_LR_22e6ac65-0b94-4a5c-aec0-f586274aeaf9.jpg?v=1571611286 It was last Christmas… I asked my wife to send me a cake with a file in it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241025 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241025_LR_810a0dbd-5ec8-4387-a26f-a9e61e93075b.jpg?v=1571611286 MISSED! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241026 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241026_LR_a89cc8de-9063-4dc3-a5a2-86898dd633a4.jpg?v=1571611286 Any mail for Number 27, Frank? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241028 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241028_LR_73e605c2-0469-44b6-b460-c97ade645e08.jpg?v=1571611286 Every time you take him for a walk he gets longer! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241029 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241029_LR_2522b839-5e1d-4db0-8688-9cd2fde21d85.jpg?v=1571611286 He’d just spent $600 having his tooth capped. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241030 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241030_LR_14a8cde2-edc7-48f5-9b3e-54e5b5b503fe.jpg?v=1571611286 You ready? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241031 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241031_LR_bbeaa6d8-dff5-4d67-bd85-935784e862a0.jpg?v=1571611286 Have you been at my sherry again, Wilkins? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241101 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241101_LR_e30dacee-356a-47af-b6c2-01e22b7639a4.jpg?v=1571611286 The Marquis of Halifax writes, ‘The vanity of teaching doth oft tempt man to forget he is a blockhead.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241102 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241102_LR_abbacb23-c929-46d1-9aa9-a703c6c79163.jpg?v=1571611286 Ralph’s poodle wants to talk to you. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241104 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241104_LR_c76928e9-9f34-44f9-9dd8-65b675bac63a.jpg?v=1571611286 Put 62 cents’ worth in there. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241105 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241105_LR_a1cccb1b-9aff-4e3c-829e-4912fb2b500e.jpg?v=1571611286 I know the blood pressure in your arm! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241106 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241106_LR_bd34cc57-5a5e-4df0-8892-d22dd68c5542.jpg?v=1571611286 Leave a clamp or something in me. I could really use the money. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241107 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241107_LR_b575b61a-b25a-4ccf-a259-98a1f8a933c5.jpg?v=1571611286 I’ll be back in an hour, Sweetheart. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241108 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241108_LR_7a53b4fa-62d8-4b68-b281-7f86d04b8883.jpg?v=1571611286 If anyone needs me, Joyce, I’ll be up on the roof for about 20 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241109 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241109_LR_bcba4c47-f1ff-45ef-83a3-32e5a1fe3355.jpg?v=1571611286 Want me to put the cat out? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241111 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241111_LR_bea611fb-32a4-4d10-abd4-cdab72841931.jpg?v=1571611286 Has this dog been out today? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241112 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241112_LR_91685071-62db-482f-91f7-57f3bf97d021.jpg?v=1571611286 I’m gonna count to three. Then I’m going home without you. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241113 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241113_LR_e67acccb-39ab-490a-ae31-ac63a791f7d7.jpg?v=1571611286 Here’s my bill. That should stop you from smoking and drinking for a few months. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241114 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241114_LR_076d06c5-e290-4caa-b5c6-dfba42795576.jpg?v=1571611286 Breathe OUT. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241115 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241115_LR_7cb2b452-5391-4ef9-b781-3397664aafeb.jpg?v=1571611286 Is it ten minutes to five already? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241116 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241116_LR_5a3f798a-5b6c-4bd3-a789-98183ac050ef.jpg?v=1571611286 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241118 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241118_LR_23d3c247-2754-40dc-ac1f-5b6e89008a63.jpg?v=1571611286 He loves people. But mostly he gets canned dog food. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241119 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241119_LR_1a294e28-09f2-47e6-bc93-e10044319942.jpg?v=1571611286 Your eardrums are showing definite signs of rejection. How long have you been a musician? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241120 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241120_LR_157a1798-d867-49cb-b172-63ec3971d891.jpg?v=1571611286 I’m going to take you off the nitroglycerin pills. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241121 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241121_LR_e983a4fd-8873-439b-81a6-387054e37836.jpg?v=1571611287 That car you sold me is only getting about six miles to a gallon of gas. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241122 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241122_LR_05175229-761d-4361-bbd7-371df6abf25b.jpg?v=1571611287 Is there something you can give my husband to reduce my blood pressure? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241123 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241123_LR_39735b9b-5cfb-467b-9b80-d90725cb8dbc.jpg?v=1571611287 They’re specially bred for long walks. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241125 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241125_LR_e6298c7f-b152-47b7-b2d8-d0a27fb5c069.jpg?v=1571611287 He can’t hold on forever. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241126 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241126_LR_90845c3d-cd6f-4ed4-958a-bb4a7c329a19.jpg?v=1571611287 If I had to guess, I’d say a very large horsefly. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241127 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241127_LR_40dad68a-fcad-49c4-bd80-e9ad4a3dc263.jpg?v=1571611287 This is an architect’s office. The chiropodist is next door. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241128 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241128_LR_0c3ae2c3-8a99-4e7a-b5f6-0ac3d1f6f5ac.jpg?v=1571611287 We were discussing separate vacations last night. Sorry about all the noise! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241129 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241129_LR_debb0e72-193a-4b7d-9959-9a1d47895437.jpg?v=1571611287 You say it was silver, cigar-shaped and had the letters U.F.O. painted on the side? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241130 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241130_LR_18bd90e7-57a6-4ad8-9ce7-f0b626480fe8.jpg?v=1571611287 He’ll only go on the rug. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241202 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241202_LR_7d99c9e7-bac2-4342-b1e5-3524fdcd4a66.jpg?v=1571611287 Look at this! You give those mice an inch and they take a mile! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241203 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241203_LR_b993e462-3149-47ca-a7b9-9e20798fcd7a.jpg?v=1571611287 OK, turn on your left side and face the window. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241204 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241204_LR_edec42d4-dac8-4024-8950-aedb7e1759bb.jpg?v=1571611287 Don't say, 'so what' when I tell you your foot's on fire! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241205 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241205_LR_709656a6-c527-4e35-982f-9c69c7c1e023.jpg?v=1571611287 See that! I said the dog looked like your mother and it bit me. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241206 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241206_LR_4766360e-1255-4357-bd4a-b585c03652a9.jpg?v=1571611287 No wonder this pen’s got a lifetime guarantee. The cap won’t come off. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241207 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241207_LR_7176e1e4-9752-4654-9653-c5a9d7bd2630.jpg?v=1571611287 Did you remember to send your mother a birthday card? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241209 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241209_LR_f0b8035a-5122-4dcf-ae22-95f5c5ec5c72.jpg?v=1571611287 I thought that was the exit. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241210 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241210_LR_1fabae60-af2a-4f8f-ab59-df45906d0ed8.jpg?v=1571611287 Does that hurt? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241211 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241211_LR_b7695593-5bfc-494c-8f7a-7163606db009.jpg?v=1571611287 What was all that screaming outside? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241212 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241212_LR_f394be85-658f-4c7a-8184-53c2d030923f.jpg?v=1571611287 You’d better not play cards with your wife for a while. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241213 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241213_LR_22320a6e-3e43-4add-9bf9-6066cb0523c3.jpg?v=1571611287 For Pete’s sake, don’t sit behind her when we get inside. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241214 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241214_LR_6930cf22-064e-4aef-a03b-3469662a6d1c.jpg?v=1571611287 I thought you said, ‘Hand over the bunny’! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241216 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241216_LR_fab2cc74-01c2-4e5b-b7d9-876bc6be0426.jpg?v=1571611287 Cradle snatcher! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241217 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241217_LR_95f2cf01-c281-4e17-a1a0-ebb17f5b3981.jpg?v=1571611287 He says he’s developed a dependency on three meals a day. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241218 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241218_LR_093f5e85-4538-4d47-8db6-20997178b448.jpg?v=1571611287 How’s he sleeping at night? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241219 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241219_LR_bef00f4d-8b1e-4100-b7b9-bafc1fb45620.jpg?v=1571611287 I told you to fetch me a sander. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241220 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241220_LR_3df0c495-0d0e-45da-997b-271365efdfad.jpg?v=1571611287 386 1/2… https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241221 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241221_LR_aefa917f-b254-44cd-a4be-d6efeafe9a6a.jpg?v=1571611287 I told you not to wear that dumb hat. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241223 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241223_LR_2f4ac79d-f9da-4c01-9255-7006d55ceb9e.jpg?v=1571611287 Hey, poodle… sweetheart… How’s it going, baby? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241224 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241224_LR_e96c3083-a6f7-4bad-a7e3-1253c8295888.jpg?v=1571611287 Telling me an old man dressed in red is coming in here tonight is not going to help me to sleep. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241225 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241225_LR_d424e5bb-a1e0-40ee-ad0d-988e1008d61d.jpg?v=1571611287 Okay, cut out the creeping around. What have I got? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241226 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241226_LR_110ec566-653f-438e-a830-1ba3c026bb1d.jpg?v=1571611288 So you’re the brother-in-law of the lady who bought the dining room set. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241227 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241227_LR_c25dec54-3017-44fc-89f0-e11020e70ab3.jpg?v=1571611288 Who am I? And what am I doing here? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241228 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241228_LR.jpg?v=1571611288 I wonder if there’s intelligent life on other trees. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241230 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241230_LR_2baa6ce0-1e4a-42f1-ae8e-ec5057daf25e.jpg?v=1571611288 He can hold his breath for 10 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm241231 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM241231_LR_0f106c13-c362-4812-84e3-f94085e2452c.jpg?v=1571611288 I told you not to order tuna in this place. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250101 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250101_LR_07f877c2-7866-4e07-ab6a-f4f856347f8d.jpg?v=1571611288 It’s not egg on toast. It’s egg OR toast! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250102 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250102_LR_482a20ab-768c-44e1-81df-8e5ebd6a37da.jpg?v=1571611288 I’m the dishwasher out back. Hide my tip in the gravy. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250103 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250103_LR_c504768b-a543-4f77-bc1e-ccf4ed575098.jpg?v=1571611288 He bought an exercise bike and couldn’t get it started. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250104 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250104_LR_1ac079d8-c3c9-4202-85fc-1c0b08970016.jpg?v=1571611288 I hear you won the lottery. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250106 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250106_LR_9883350e-148d-48ba-a827-0439d6984c02.jpg?v=1571611288 No thank you. My husband’s a reformed wino. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250107 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250107_LR_28a1294c-bed8-438b-9d2c-e3d5344a8664.jpg?v=1571611288 No, thanks. I couldn’t take your last nickel. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250108 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250108_LR_6006411a-f3bb-4231-9df5-5e64e1a966ce.jpg?v=1571611288 Got a good can opener? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250109 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250109_LR_3f5c8638-90aa-438b-a74e-e69c062f385f.jpg?v=1571611288 He’s known about us for years. They’ve locked him up twice! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250110 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250110_LR_a684ea20-ac9f-4d4a-8099-f815d953c757.jpg?v=1571611288 You said you wanted your eggs over. Well, they’re over the back of the stove. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250111 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250111_LR_e3003d29-427e-4ec1-ad8a-72bee257c968.jpg?v=1571611288 You can get down now. That was your raise. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250113 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250113_LR_2bee4363-3f10-44c1-8e79-8036bcaa6664.jpg?v=1571611288 It draws attention away from your face. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250114 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250114_LR_c6a8d15f-9337-473c-a0c4-77f10fa76ac1.jpg?v=1571611288 Runs good. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250115 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250115_LR_37930bd9-ab26-4d84-8324-3d02e556872e.jpg?v=1571611288 What’s the number for Dial-a-Prayer? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250116 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250116_LR_9b875623-5149-4cf4-a2ed-3a4e77bd64b6.jpg?v=1571611288 You wouldn’t believe the dream I just had. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250117 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250117_LR_767b8bc2-17e3-43a9-b7fd-d75e80dd618c.jpg?v=1571611288 She was doing her TV exercises and has been stuck there through three soap operas! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250118 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250118_LR_888a7b2d-b42c-47ff-98f9-0eba365c26a1.jpg?v=1571611288 This is your last chance. Turn that stereo down. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250120 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250120_LR_aba922bd-f8cf-4ac8-afa9-4bacd9c5b8b2.jpg?v=1571611288 I remember when you could get a bag of groceries for 30 cents. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250121 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250121_LR_2f35b37b-269e-452a-a276-5ff2a5a3ee6a.jpg?v=1571611288 Did you have to buy him such a big bucket? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250122 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250122_LR_1c586d54-8f17-4f38-9986-da721c93e391.jpg?v=1571611288 Your honor, my client pleads not guilty to the charge of tailgating. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250123 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250123_LR_4bad6ad0-65ef-4c06-b156-8e167bd9d0a2.jpg?v=1571611288 After you finish writing that, maybe you can find out who broke into my apartment last week. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250124 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250124_LR_21d8f780-767d-4ae4-b485-bcab4f8fd4e9.jpg?v=1571611288 False alarm. Your wife had an inflamed gall-bladder. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250125 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250125_LR_2f3732f8-47f9-4f46-99ee-2e51da6b2ce8.jpg?v=1571611288 She went to see a hypnotist to lose weight and he put on 40 pounds. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250127 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250127_LR_4b296314-c769-4163-b1c2-74543131dd04.jpg?v=1571611288 My new underwater watch has stopped! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250128 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250128_LR_747dfc86-93ed-4dcd-8925-b284b6b311a9.jpg?v=1571611288 Don’t you ever get nervous, living 50 floors up? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250129 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250129_LR_628425fd-d86e-4284-b2c0-4f0b33e64c02.jpg?v=1571611288 You never heard the expression, ‘take a seat’ before? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250130 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250130_LR_010450ef-b87a-4df1-b3d5-399261b0941e.jpg?v=1571611288 You’ll have to sit up. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250131 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250131_LR_286d2ec3-17b2-4868-b776-051cb4ae01a3.jpg?v=1571611289 D’you want ‘Outpatients’ or ‘Emergency’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250201 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250201_LR_3d503952-7bae-412e-9448-ff15aac25570.jpg?v=1571611289 I want to report an unidentified flying omelette. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250203 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250203_LR_440be2da-f8b0-491e-ae37-9a3a3e907498.jpg?v=1571611289 I used to pay her kid brother to stay in the same room with us! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250204 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250204_LR_c00835ba-d5a5-4f15-9eb2-e482779faeba.jpg?v=1571611289 Surely you can go bowling with Harvey another night? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250205 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250205_LR_0094cade-e7de-4dc2-a880-f2625b2dedb5.jpg?v=1571611289 For the last time… over the wire fence is NOT a home run! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250206 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250206_LR_97e6a4ff-13e5-46b6-89a3-00587b3acfd5.jpg?v=1571611289 After the commercial break, a woman who has spent her entire life making people miserable. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250207 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250207_LR_7537c790-6c05-4832-8259-aa1578883a80.jpg?v=1571611289 It’s for you, Mildred. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250208 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250208_LR_2194bd49-03c9-4e04-ad4b-6154e95ce755.jpg?v=1571611289 That’s 25 cents for the price list and a dollar for the coffee. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250210 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250210_LR_876b0ead-ad08-4e24-ad92-41d6f26f004f.jpg?v=1571611289 If you don’t keep quiet I’m gonna phone all your friends and tell them how old you really are. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250211 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250211_LR_daaa3d3a-d9c0-4267-96af-fc8776ccd128.jpg?v=1571611289 This one lost the family fortune. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250212 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250212_LR_8f973e2d-0efa-47b4-bc73-463f9620f87b.jpg?v=1571611289 Whatever you do, don’t exercise. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250213 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250213_LR_2cfbc8cc-ffb6-4199-9f75-e1c3dae360c0.jpg?v=1571611289 I’m sorry, Harold, but I’m not losing you on the subway during rush hour. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250214 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250214_LR_5929cd30-cfb3-4fce-879d-5df310b7c78b.jpg?v=1571611289 Is that the one who forgot his wedding anniversary? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250215 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250215_LR_760815c8-ec1a-45b5-8347-19f6fc150d69.jpg?v=1571611289 They’ve sent for an expert on tropical diseases. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250217 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250217_LR_e4741f5b-a9c6-4d49-af0e-930d7a370900.jpg?v=1571611289 All right, all right… Hand over the seven bucks. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250218 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250218_LR_817be658-c25c-4a7b-89bf-aa7d789981b6.jpg?v=1571611289 So I’m five minutes late with the supper. You don’t have to eat the plate. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250219 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250219_LR_73cb6dcc-c914-4886-982c-c0f9cddaecb1.jpg?v=1571611289 You shouldn’t carry all this cash. Why don’t you open an account? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250220 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250220_LR_f8704f4f-c8f1-41b3-8ad9-6fc20f2e0444.jpg?v=1571611289 Is it OK if I run out and stick a few coins in the old parking meter? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250221 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250221_LR_ab8a1c4d-afd2-4679-afad-d901659ec41d.jpg?v=1571611289 Oh, no! Right over the old ladies home! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250222 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250222_LR_86d52e55-7bae-481e-8763-222a42df962d.jpg?v=1571611289 Business is great but inflation is killing me. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250224 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250224_LR_f16a9ff7-b966-4daa-a29e-dd3d5bf067f1.jpg?v=1571611289 How about, ‘Yummy yum, yummy yum, yummy gum gum gum’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250225 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250225_LR_27713135-72cc-4d52-a4ce-76fd6b994478.jpg?v=1571611289 The phone company wants to know if they should bill us daily. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250226 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250226_LR_25134a22-3391-4ba8-bac4-ff2222602503.jpg?v=1571611289 Did you ask about getting me a bigger room? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250227 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250227_LR_5d168e89-552e-4ab4-8e94-cf9ba231ff84.jpg?v=1571611289 Yeah, well you’re not exactly an oil painting yourself first thing in the morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250228 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250228_LR_48154472-7a8a-4b90-8b10-e79130f350ea.jpg?v=1571611289 As soon as we got married I realized two can live as cheaply as six. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250301 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250301_LR_ba0ad5c5-7535-4d11-9df8-fb2c1585fa97.jpg?v=1571611289 That was my mother on the phone. She said she hopes you’re feeling worse. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250303 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250303_LR_af4232c7-f6b1-45a5-aaf4-b2100861e3d7.jpg?v=1571611289 This one just says ‘Fold.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250304 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250304_LR_44d470f5-bf4a-4f27-befb-41ee14059877.jpg?v=1571611289 Now don’t go running off ‘til I find out where we are. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250305 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250305_LR_ab85a589-39ac-45e8-bb5c-552c8ea13249.jpg?v=1571611289 So you were three days into the mountains, then what happened? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250306 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250306_LR_a7d4f900-9fad-4fc4-97d1-27f27e9c48af.jpg?v=1571611289 Can we discuss salary first? My wife’s waiting to go shopping. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250307 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250307_LR_58cc6258-091b-4fd6-bf9c-d06bef874de7.jpg?v=1571611289 This won’t help your back, but it makes me feel great. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250308 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250308_LR_88f8022e-52e7-4187-a59e-8c5f3a35182d.jpg?v=1571611289 We just want hot wax. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250310 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250310_LR_dc6856e7-8b70-4213-9510-0b584f32d7c5.jpg?v=1571611290 You can get up now. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250311 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250311_LR_a5476995-38d3-486c-8bc8-ac987fe6389c.jpg?v=1571611290 They found your other ski. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250312 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250312_LR_ed326ecb-2fcd-4ceb-88da-52bb644fe7e2.jpg?v=1571611290 If you don’t mind, I prefer being referred to as ‘rear animal impersonator.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250313 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250313_LR_45621f81-01ad-49b9-a806-ca24ff63c965.jpg?v=1571611290 Surely you must know if you have health insurance… https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250314 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250314_LR_a4586379-3f03-46ac-911f-7481ea4dfb5d.jpg?v=1571611290 Take that off Dad’s face. You’ve gotta get ready for school. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250315 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250315_LR_7cc56fbf-2ec5-4b19-b3c8-2430503169fc.jpg?v=1571611290 Don’t keep shouting ‘call the plumber.’ I’ve called the plumber. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250317 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250317_LR_09090176-f38c-4029-9b73-8ebb80a6c783.jpg?v=1571611290 Wotcha put in his drink Harry? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250318 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250318_LR_1d3dd511-a539-4a47-9da2-4d2bb50ad29a.jpg?v=1571611290 We’ve got to wait for the shock to wear off. He nearly drove off an 800-foot cliff. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250319 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250319_LR_f51fe01f-403e-45ea-abc0-a51db38839e1.jpg?v=1571611290 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250320 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250320_LR_28e1a3ee-1434-4576-b9b2-1899e7b88430.jpg?v=1571611290 He’s looking for something for the woman who has nothing. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250321 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250321_LR_85cec03d-34c9-4f23-8dc9-d2b3ad1de837.jpg?v=1571611290 Can I change channels? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250322 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250322_LR_f6bdc553-2826-4507-aa82-863f35db7185.jpg?v=1571611290 I told you never to get between Mother and a dessert trolley. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250324 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250324_LR_77587fc2-2094-4786-969e-337f23718e2e.jpg?v=1571611290 It’s very nice of your husband to drive us all to the airport. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250325 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250325_LR_20413ee4-8da7-4e4c-995b-bfc2fe4d1067.jpg?v=1571611290 Only you would be stupid enough to park on the San Andreas fault! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250326 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250326_LR_edceca8a-62fd-4eda-a086-5a2896c8070b.jpg?v=1571611290 Just because it’s your turn to change his diaper! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250327 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250327_LR_d9ef1cce-feaf-4a64-b8d0-a46b286dedae.jpg?v=1571611290 Ask him where he left his key to the safe-deposit box. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250328 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250328_LR_377a0873-003b-457e-af83-3cc0a8844f76.jpg?v=1571611290 You’re supposed to let wine breathe. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250329 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250329_LR_2b25c8e9-a993-4e29-9fcf-b6b43d36bc44.jpg?v=1571611290 Your wife’s cooking is not covered by the stove’s warranty. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250331 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250331_LR_20a401a8-9463-49a4-9906-6c38345c6e82.jpg?v=1571611290 As you can see, your insurance doesn’t cover ‘family squabbles.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250401 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250401_LR_f5f35378-8ec5-4cb9-9df9-ec7801ef20d6.jpg?v=1571611290 I’ve quit my job at the bank. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250402 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250402_LR_e6656e2d-3089-4ca4-a8dd-516a54aa9c0c.jpg?v=1571611290 I’ve lost the use of my legs! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250403 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250403_LR_903930c5-f747-458d-875b-29e3423f0af7.jpg?v=1571611290 He keeps having nightmares about being hit by a ship. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250404 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250404_LR_eb7275ef-b01c-48eb-9f65-a8213099711a.jpg?v=1571611290 I taught him everything I know and he’s still stupid. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250405 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250405_LR_cbf98483-2bc0-42b6-bdee-690042284d45.jpg?v=1571611290 This guy wants to know if we deliver to Africa. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250407 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250407_LR_7d819308-f566-4644-9c00-4e2575892f47.jpg?v=1571611290 I don’t want to worry you, but the guy who delivered the pizza is your financial planner. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250408 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250408_LR_3db47bca-f487-4247-ad92-707a2d211f75.jpg?v=1571611290 Why is this buffalo meat so expensive? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250409 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250409_LR_b8ffa5ac-472a-437b-a6ca-a163508f9c98.jpg?v=1571611290 I’ll need one other co-signer. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250410 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250410_LR_d2323e8c-d8cc-43c8-935a-13032098afc6.jpg?v=1571611290 Gentlemen, we have the first electric razor in a phone! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250411 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250411_LR_ade3459c-fd63-40f6-b134-974909ac1161.jpg?v=1571611290 Sure I’ve got a charge card! But I never leave home with it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250412 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250412_LR_aa8bcb25-5839-4765-b1cd-c0b769867013.jpg?v=1571611290 That’s not me, Dummy! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250414 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250414_LR_3d5d4738-05e4-4755-8c63-98d582beaaf2.jpg?v=1571611291 I think he’s starting to like that one. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250415 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250415_LR_53fb919e-645b-4c7c-9d90-5e3282f2f48e.jpg?v=1571611291 Touché. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250416 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250416_LR_a72e395a-774a-4e6f-a80c-adf0d9b8a832.jpg?v=1571611291 We handle electronics, sir. You need a blacksmith. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250417 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250417_LR_4d7a21e9-a764-4f4a-becd-b0510107f96c.jpg?v=1571611291 That was $19.80, wasn’t it? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250418 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250418_LR_fea3186f-b757-4856-bd88-11221c04b079.jpg?v=1571611291 They had baseball back then? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250419 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250419_LR_fe6655b4-041d-4e44-a57a-3c26b149dd36.jpg?v=1571611291 Can’t you hum something else? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250421 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250421_LR_d1a34d96-a508-47af-a464-ec6488dbd8fa.jpg?v=1571611291 This is the best I can do for ‘previous employment.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250422 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250422_LR_7dfe362e-6894-4cec-b912-52e8f313c393.jpg?v=1571611291 You never give up, do you! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250423 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250423_LR_d63ee286-8a41-4f1c-9c72-40435966fee7.jpg?v=1571611291 If you run like the wind, you may just make it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250424 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250424_LR_0ddd16e0-caf4-4591-9229-8f4b4b734e79.jpg?v=1571611291 How much do unemployed veterans usually tip? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250425 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250425_LR_1792cac3-15c8-4d1a-9391-03c8db23a895.jpg?v=1571611291 This reading lamp hasn’t uttered a word since I bought it! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250426 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250426_LR_fc78925e-436d-4813-9b99-24c64fadd8c1.jpg?v=1571611291 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250428 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250428_LR_0f72b8c8-77f7-40be-af1e-47a06d5c8f9b.jpg?v=1571611291 Your stupid manager from work came over to see how you were so I told him to get lost. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250429 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250429_LR_bf300413-9fd7-42dc-b303-5246c4e39861.jpg?v=1571611291 Even if they have got it in your size, it’ll cost at least a hundred bucks. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250430 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250430_LR_7405b244-249d-4715-ac8a-6aa12c848ba7.jpg?v=1571611291 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250501 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250501_LR_955174bb-4e1b-446f-91bb-a3032308c38d.jpg?v=1571611291 Your mother went jogging and got a ticket for ‘malicious damage’ to the sidewalk. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250502 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250502_LR_1fc79c6a-0b23-4d85-9c27-0c8540e0c64f.jpg?v=1571611291 Got any roller skates with airbags? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250503 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250503_LR_413cefb3-1790-4386-a147-ac8e2d191fa4.jpg?v=1571611291 There goes 20 bucks’ worth of fireworks. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250505 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250505_LR_78fc8641-2009-4101-b432-0326dcb6a922.jpg?v=1571611291 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250506 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250506_LR_6f4b0f1e-ab75-4115-8a65-52de73d3c74b.jpg?v=1571611292 Pull! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250507 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250507_LR_0aa15892-8f9e-4e0c-a89f-7a949bda8df8.jpg?v=1571611292 The doctor said you had a 50-50 chance. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250508 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250508_LR_2c47b5df-e521-426f-a811-eb6de900b662.jpg?v=1571611292 We named him ‘Uncle’ after my mom’s brother. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250509 2026-07-21T07:52:10-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250509_LR_62bd7953-505c-485d-8948-7fb97352e531.jpg?v=1571611292 He’s not house-trained, but who cares?