https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250510 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250510_LR_c9a7e8c1-a49a-4def-ac2e-7e8f6827c15e.jpg?v=1571611292 It’s time we heard from the silent majority. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250512 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250512_LR_1eb96c6d-08b5-4ea0-a522-78b034063f79.jpg?v=1571611292 I’ll have to go and get my toolbox from the car. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250513 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250513_LR_50a8a5af-d594-4cf3-a1c5-104c43bc484b.jpg?v=1571611292 I’ve decided to move you up the ladder. Get a bucket. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250514 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250514_LR_23e1847c-5ae0-4ace-94a7-25b653a811be.jpg?v=1571611292 What are you doing? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250515 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250515_LR_43b47178-b991-4ed4-a3d4-a61e7e52d50f.jpg?v=1571611292 There’s never a bus when you want one. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250516 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250516_LR_9e6c005c-ae4e-42ae-9782-f55d9c80bb55.jpg?v=1571611292 They’ve decided it was a job-related accident. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250517 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250517_LR_25496530-99c6-4169-9775-ca849473ed29.jpg?v=1571611292 I think you’re probably in a rut. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250519 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250519_LR_825b79d0-9a7e-45c4-8408-a92b51a38ea5.jpg?v=1571611292 I’ve done the best I can. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250520 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250520_LR_803b567e-a275-4d85-8e8e-03ddb3f74337.jpg?v=1571611292 We get a lot of foreign visitors. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250521 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250521_LR_ec3f9909-c6c5-40f6-a174-31962004869a.jpg?v=1571611292 You know better than to make a bed like that, nurse. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250522 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250522_LR_5d9ff443-9f53-4c9c-88e1-96e86338048b.jpg?v=1571611292 Those two seem to be enjoying themselves. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250523 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250523_LR_24af1f09-53ab-4063-9d34-30aa20a11137.jpg?v=1571611292 Joyce, ask Mr. Dennison if he’s heard of a composer named Mozart. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250524 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250524_LR_78307a7f-9738-47a1-a1fd-b3862f6c8767.jpg?v=1571611292 Whaddya mean, ‘$1,000 a mile’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250526 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250526_LR_de171eb3-8540-4fd6-9716-bbcf8271e75a.jpg?v=1571611292 Grandpa’s bought an Afro wig. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250527 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250527_LR_23c89b15-11f8-41f4-a560-ed081acf2851.jpg?v=1571611292 If I don’t cure your amnesia you get double your money back. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250528 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250528_LR_1aa40f8a-f29a-4b4e-a2b9-ca8f6d34875d.jpg?v=1571611292 If you’re that tired, why didn’t you stay at home? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250529 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250529_LR_ce1e2a32-1e15-4708-b7ca-f55d46ff49f4.jpg?v=1571611292 My sister TOLD me you were no good. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250530 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250530_LR_c9fc3a2b-b461-4c61-90c0-9d3b48116e32.jpg?v=1571611292 Now where’s he going with a screwdriver? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250531 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250531_LR_1ab8cf69-b409-488c-b6a8-a5feef08ad9d.jpg?v=1571611292 I got them both during mating season. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250602 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250602_LR_7af0ab47-aabf-4780-a662-3aab26ff945f.jpg?v=1571611292 He was born on the second and third of December. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250603 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250603_LR_a4fe98b9-b3f0-4b37-a3fa-f400202ae586.jpg?v=1571611292 I told you it didn’t smell. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250604 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250604_LR_de12a5fa-14cb-4dce-af55-abc4b35c1957.jpg?v=1571611292 I hear you’re not completely satisfied with your semi-private accomodation. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250605 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250605_LR_55885020-efbe-4c97-8e0b-20759f67e9e8.jpg?v=1571611292 Ralphy… what did you use to get that new glue off your finger? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250606 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250606_LR_3833f0fb-a7fd-43bb-8345-29237a4359a0.jpg?v=1571611292 Imagine you’ve got 12 of these babies and a burglar breaks in. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250607 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250607_LR_2fd9196d-8887-4804-bc6c-e77329bff943.jpg?v=1571611292 Well I guess we can kiss a promising radio career goodbye. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250609 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250609_LR_c4567308-759f-44bc-9a3b-02df80f53e1a.jpg?v=1571611292 Just a little exploratory surgery. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250610 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250610_LR_f1b589b3-eda9-4a28-99de-0678cfb953e9.jpg?v=1571611292 I’ll do your gallstones and your wife’s broken pelvis for your left kidney. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250611 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250611_LR_b5714e39-7e3b-403b-bc79-0df69cb2ccb1.jpg?v=1571611292 She had to come straight from work. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250612 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250612_LR_986cb9d3-908f-4da1-983f-4bf4b6a0718c.jpg?v=1571611292 Found New Zealand yet, Benson? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250613 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250613_LR_379a8cc7-f915-484c-826e-4b4dda431cf0.jpg?v=1571611292 That dog’s driving me nuts! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250614 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250614_LR_72f5fb91-e8d1-49cd-953e-267423dfe132.jpg?v=1571611292 Air bags for pedestrians. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250616 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250616_LR_46e15cb5-3333-4fa7-9acb-5fff0d5ad117.jpg?v=1571611293 The zoo has decided not to press charges. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250617 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250617_LR_874b1f08-729e-4cb0-9c24-ce0bb7bcedf3.jpg?v=1571611293 That is not the way to pass the potatoes! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250618 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250618_LR_7e820d46-5c28-43ef-af0a-94bf363a2397.jpg?v=1571611293 You can stop waving goodbye. I’m staying! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250619 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250619_LR_d905de9c-f264-46b4-87ba-f42fca1e91d0.jpg?v=1571611293 I just can’t believe I’m gonna look like you when I’m 35. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250620 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250620_LR_50a93760-558c-46c9-a0ba-842c7efa17b7.jpg?v=1571611293 Don’t blame me! I told you to put it in the trunk. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250621 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250621_LR_5d30f130-d395-41a7-b855-29619845b2c1.jpg?v=1571611293 He likes to get a good run at the mailman. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250623 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250623_LR_e9c70c1c-6335-46a9-b2a0-6ecedd694d21.jpg?v=1571611293 We had to put a steel plate in your leg. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250624 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250624_LR_fb453da8-b44f-4d63-912f-2f70ea93e666.jpg?v=1571611293 I’ve been going to those adult education classes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250625 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250625_LR_9ef1b590-5b60-4d1f-9f06-aecd05be889f.jpg?v=1571611293 I had a full head of leaves when I was your age https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250626 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250626_LR_a4273c17-3292-46ff-9d15-f38b2b68feb2.jpg?v=1571611293 If you buy the bike, I’ll throw in the parking meter. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250627 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250627_LR_c8439a21-d6b4-4cc3-a2a7-84f9f9b8d0ec.jpg?v=1571611293 What did you buy that for? You can’t even ride a bicycle! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250628 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250628_LR_2935f01e-5466-49a2-8f5d-e280b80801d9.jpg?v=1571611293 Just give them enough food for one. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250630 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250630_LR_c157cbcd-8e2f-40d1-8b24-e1c0bc367d10.jpg?v=1571611293 I can start work Monday if I don’t win the lottery. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250701 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250701_LR_2f9c1ce0-7c86-4f76-bdb1-d194fa34b7b2.jpg?v=1571611293 Don’t go in the kitchen. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250702 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250702_LR_afe939cc-c0ca-487c-9703-740ca3526972.jpg?v=1571611293 I use this one when it’s raining. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250703 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250703_LR_67cd711b-9347-4ae3-8977-1ab7c6546174.jpg?v=1571611293 He’s not allowed out so I bought him a trampoline. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250704 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250704_LR_d9339b30-632b-4fc5-b6ce-ff1484a4c25e.jpg?v=1571611293 Don’t light that in here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250705 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250705_LR_7c1cb742-6317-4ab0-b78b-51c2bc25883d.jpg?v=1571611293 You’re letting this weight-loss thing become an obsession. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250707 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250707_LR_d4ecf94b-118d-4c33-8d69-eb5f9a515fe8.jpg?v=1571611293 Of course I love you, Alistair. I want to have your great-grandchildren. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250708 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250708_LR_058201d1-b61f-41d5-8757-ad16fffd4877.jpg?v=1571611293 You can’t claim a world record unless it sticks in the grass. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250709 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250709_LR_055a09e6-9c42-4604-ab45-2b2d5d8a6cb3.jpg?v=1571611293 You’re getting your knocks early, Ralphy… your car’s being recalled. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250710 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250710_LR_ecefd16f-79f1-49d1-9edf-2af146102e71.jpg?v=1571611293 He won’t got out with anyone except my wife. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250711 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250711_LR_bac6f1b5-8dc3-4606-a703-9857ac8dc5ee.jpg?v=1571611293 Don’t keep ducking. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250712 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250712_LR_260d042b-5c98-4dc8-8a0d-b0eb28e359ea.jpg?v=1571611293 What do you mean he’ll need a tie to get in? This is my wife! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250714 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250714_LR_b22cf16a-9252-408f-96ca-14bca73d4910.jpg?v=1571611293 It must have been in the bag of bananas. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250715 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250715_LR_9813238b-108f-4f9a-8630-cedaf88d3dfd.jpg?v=1571611293 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250716 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250716_LR_3b0b9921-cc84-4010-8611-7e90b3371c36.jpg?v=1571611293 It’s happy hour. You get two mushroom soups. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250717 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250717_LR_84343bbf-0155-4f49-9bff-fc0a1a2c735d.jpg?v=1571611293 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250718 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250718_LR_192e7fa0-ce64-43e3-b84c-be88c7c19961.jpg?v=1571611293 As soon as he starts snoring, slap it on. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250719 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250719_LR_3dcac71f-debc-4123-8227-c79095da3b2b.jpg?v=1571611293 First weekend off in 10 years and she wants to go canoeing! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250721 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250721_LR_239ae860-0ee0-4ac0-a967-9020983c857d.jpg?v=1571611293 Sure, come over to dinner one evening. You can have mine. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250722 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250722_LR_1979528f-1b84-44ed-bae9-b5d0d1758ea1.jpg?v=1571611293 This one was driven by a little old lady and her nephew. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250723 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250723_LR_ddcebb6d-1e32-44eb-8917-2211f082f3fd.jpg?v=1571611294 I know it’s a dog license! He was driving. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250724 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250724_LR_6d8e9253-9e3f-4c21-8d07-c78bbc2c4892.jpg?v=1571611294 We used to fight when we were young. We grew out of it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250725 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250725_LR_589ad0b0-1f2a-49a0-83a6-11dcc61ae006.jpg?v=1571611294 Come along, dear. Daddy’s not supposed to go home today. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250726 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250726_LR_8400abfb-ac1b-4371-a61a-7222bbe1741b.jpg?v=1571611294 I brought your slippers. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250728 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250728_LR_07c20e1b-c5ba-404b-955f-9ce639977c5f.jpg?v=1571611294 The nurse says you’re having trouble getting out of bed. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250729 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250729_LR_587565e2-3fd2-4c84-ab4e-e86b30e65175.jpg?v=1571611294 I’ve got two chances at it this year. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250730 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250730_LR_3357db4a-c6e1-4e04-bceb-f35c3f6c485a.jpg?v=1571611294 He sure looks forward to your weekly visits. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250731 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250731_LR_15d25ca5-5293-4f02-bfbd-ff74a5c757b3.jpg?v=1571611294 Just the one suitcase. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250801 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250801_LR_0fa0f661-3143-49ac-91aa-439c038bc48b.jpg?v=1571611294 Simpkins, how many times have I told you about using the office paper-shredder to make cole slaw? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250802 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250802_LR_1d652f91-e583-4b27-b317-dd40a1d4b7dc.jpg?v=1571611294 If they don’t eat leftovers they’ll have to go back to the store. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250804 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250804_LR_08b9aae8-c99e-4eab-8a45-fd55fdeb4ed0.jpg?v=1571611294 The stopped working, so I put antifreeze in the milk. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250805 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250805_LR_4835d7ad-751d-4268-9d08-1f94030f2bfd.jpg?v=1571611294 Quick, get a rope. Your brother Reggie’s at the front door. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250806 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250806_LR_884ea0ab-e87a-41ea-b3df-3e5a3125fa08.jpg?v=1571611294 Now don’t you start that sales resistance stuff. I’ve had a rough day. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250807 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250807_LR_54e4dea6-35a0-416d-971d-33b260f1d4fe.jpg?v=1571611294 This is my nephew, Eric. He wants to borrow that $100 you still owe me. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250808 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250808_LR_602e2869-c154-4f82-a13a-e62f07415133.jpg?v=1571611294 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250809 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250809_LR_55805776-1232-47fa-b260-f07f1161c006.jpg?v=1571611294 I’m telling you for the last time, I don’t wanna go to a disco. I’m going to bed. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250811 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250811_LR_dedd7550-2d5c-4cb1-9855-23814997136d.jpg?v=1571611294 I’ve lost the use of my left arm. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250812 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250812_LR_76c8a48d-44d4-4f31-b823-f1c6a939ea0c.jpg?v=1571611294 I wanted to get you a gift you deserved, but they didn’t have anything cheaper! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250813 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250813_LR_c036f92d-3d82-48b8-9544-11ed0cea5b66.jpg?v=1571611294 OK, let’s go. But take it easy on the stairs. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250814 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250814_LR_28d77097-acb6-4560-8203-11fb8fb8f653.jpg?v=1571611294 What was that big crash in the kitchen? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250815 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250815_LR_2e692311-bd7e-4763-b80e-14a4550e23f7.jpg?v=1571611294 I’m sorry, Harold, but you shouldn’t have crept up behind me like that. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250816 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250816_LR_72fffb6e-3523-423c-813a-61c064e6fed2.jpg?v=1571611294 They shouldn’t be showing girls in bikinis when kids his age are watching! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250818 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250818_LR_2a651399-1b56-47f1-a15f-64073b5d6227.jpg?v=1571611294 The rear-view mirrors are my idea; just until your neck gets better. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250819 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250819_LR_4275c375-5800-4a1f-8151-e41f6598ae9d.jpg?v=1571611294 I’d like to return this mink. My husband bought it for my birthday as a little joke. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250820 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250820_LR_55669b45-815d-4a14-8894-2cb273fd3f95.jpg?v=1571611294 You look terrible but I can’t find anything wrong with you. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250821 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250821_LR_ad7f8d46-763d-480d-9092-1da81efb3913.jpg?v=1571611294 That’s the sixth time the computer has matched you with your ex-wife. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250822 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250822_LR_6aa1e9e0-bb1f-4fca-978a-ed874d38c3ca.jpg?v=1571611294 You should never use an electric blanket on a waterbed! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250823 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250823_LR_6dfac6ea-35c7-4675-98d4-124df466bc21.jpg?v=1571611294 Table for two near the band. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250825 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250825_LR_03c6a05f-51c2-4118-8af2-adb7d2fafdb5.jpg?v=1571611294 You got a Superman T-shirt for a 32-inch chest? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250826 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250826_LR_4b0cdf01-3b7b-40ac-b63a-2b47bb3b2d77.jpg?v=1571611294 Whatever you do, don’t open your mouth. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250827 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250827_LR_a9aa1884-1751-419c-9fd6-467e68212209.jpg?v=1571611295 That quart of milk in the expires at midnight. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250828 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250828_LR_d302bd8c-1a5e-4256-a8d8-61a7871c8697.jpg?v=1571611295 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250829 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250829_LR_7fdbf463-ad29-4b37-b8f2-71f1ca458e66.jpg?v=1571611295 I can’t move my head. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250830 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250830_LR_8d4d5146-3d4e-4b9f-9aff-4c7f46cbf2cf.jpg?v=1571611295 All I can tell you is that it arrived from Africa this morning, and there’s something moving inside. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250901 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250901_LR_e142fbe6-0d3a-40fd-9ff3-85bf9a42bb16.jpg?v=1571611295 The main thing with a horse is you’ve got to make sure he knows who’s the boss. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250902 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250902_LR_16eed5f6-d0e2-4018-8d72-39013668df36.jpg?v=1571611295 Business or pleasure? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250903 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250903_LR_a2512ecd-6ddb-4d3c-8c7f-1da445bbb6b1.jpg?v=1571611295 Instead of taking me to an expensive dinner, can I have the money? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250904 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250904_LR_c4c54d82-c0db-42c6-8b2e-2db716bce5f0.jpg?v=1571611295 Is this the guy who wouldn’t eat the soup? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250905 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250905_LR_4d8a410e-03bb-40f6-9562-edf645a70ca8.jpg?v=1571611295 Do I look stupid? Of course you can marry my daughter. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250906 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250906_LR_0a8daabc-30ca-4662-aaae-67a49e62300b.jpg?v=1571611295 We don’t waste anything here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250908 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250908_LR_a7d7b16c-be52-4601-a182-29fcdc87c8fc.jpg?v=1571611295 I told him to meet me under the town clock. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250909 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250909_LR_7a860854-7e95-4f70-8ff5-fa975e8d1cc5.jpg?v=1571611295 OK, let’s start from where I told you I needed a man who could use his head. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250910 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250910_LR_e6f89ced-08c9-477b-8651-cdb427505474.jpg?v=1571611295 Grandpa, did you buy those pants when you were a lot taller? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250911 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250911_LR_9e65f8d7-2d1c-4000-ad25-2670eb923afa.jpg?v=1571611295 You’ve got normal blood pressure but no pulse. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250912 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250912_LR_c7a15837-a539-437a-bb0a-544858200a5d.jpg?v=1571611295 You look just as bad as you did when you went in! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250913 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250913_LR_ead78125-3244-4972-8d82-05c6fe9c6888.jpg?v=1571611295 You fell off the operating table. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250915 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250915_LR_7c3509cd-6a6a-4e13-8978-bc348f124c94.jpg?v=1571611295 What is he ever going to need to know about algebra? Stick to this country. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250916 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250916_LR_ee488753-24e3-45c3-8885-33ab05cd8e7c.jpg?v=1571611295 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250917 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250917_LR_1593b190-4895-46a4-90be-e9dd319986a8.jpg?v=1571611295 She coulda been Miss Universe on any other planet. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250918 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250918_LR_890fdc61-6e1c-42c5-8d93-90f977bc7944.jpg?v=1571611295 Do you want an engagement ring or the $20? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250919 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250919_LR_b4210497-bdf1-4d37-9813-0c095c367016.jpg?v=1571611295 That’s more like it – 127 pounds. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250920 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250920_LR_ba89430e-f564-43b3-b4fd-f64426c8cc38.jpg?v=1571611295 If you touch that nerve again, I’m gonna teach you a new meaning for the word pain. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250922 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250922_LR_43f882d6-d8c3-43cc-a128-8e428a1423ad.jpg?v=1571611295 What’s a good wine to take away the taste of this food? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250923 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250923_LR_c8320a24-74c6-42f4-acf7-27a57f9a1839.jpg?v=1571611295 This is my oldest son Ronnie’s first wife’s sister, Audrey. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250924 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250924_LR_3ddb9c05-c289-484c-a626-19c4fb76bfb6.jpg?v=1571611295 Are you trying to tell me that baby on the rug is not me? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250925 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250925_LR_f031b550-bb4c-435d-b3d7-776fb475f8e4.jpg?v=1571611295 I don’t have any money. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250926 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250926_LR_a3635c8c-b764-42cb-b142-ba62eb9ab4eb.jpg?v=1571611295 I can’t read your writing! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250927 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250927_LR_b0f8bcde-b7e6-4fb6-ba97-0c189a175758.jpg?v=1571611295 Oh no! Not your new golf shoes! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250929 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250929_LR_6b40a743-e259-4f78-917d-2be8db276468.jpg?v=1571611295 What are you up to? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm250930 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM250930_LR_ce70dae8-baa8-49f1-8762-04294b1c8533.jpg?v=1571611295 I know the tablecloth’s dirty. Don’t forget, this place has been open since 1963. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251001 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251001_LR_c12a6112-5218-4539-ab79-1b3ebad47bb1.jpg?v=1571611295 If I pay this amount of taxes, I’ll qualify for tax exemption as a non-profit organization! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251002 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251002_LR_11abc28e-b443-492b-8396-1b72ba089755.jpg?v=1571611295 He wants a pair of cymbals. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251003 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251003_LR_f8b651f4-0724-4e41-bb99-8b9053e7544a.jpg?v=1571611295 I think I got most of it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251004 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251004_LR_b0f0643b-6bb5-4b82-b59d-1fd06b63f17a.jpg?v=1571611295 Isn’t Notre Dame an all-male college? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251006 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251006_LR_b3277a19-c9ba-4a15-aec4-e7edc0faf2be.jpg?v=1571611295 Did you say ‘one coffee and a banana?’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251007 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251007_LR_fe99fa1e-1437-4024-b196-f1aeb6cc538e.jpg?v=1571611296 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251008 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251008_LR_dc61e666-64e8-4c47-8227-5e751dc6c68c.jpg?v=1571611296 What have you got that’s suitable for a 3-year-old? It’s my husband’s birthday. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251009 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251009_LR_b55dfa43-0535-4f37-8191-ed03eaccc071.jpg?v=1571611296 You’re not gonna believe it — there’s an elephant coming. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251010 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251010_LR_0b2522f8-6bf4-4f58-a15b-aab86c83fc81.jpg?v=1571611296 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251011 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251011_LR_acf6ff89-9796-49e4-aae1-378dcaccbe06.jpg?v=1571611296 He’s a long-haired terrier. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251013 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251013_LR_a645f652-fce1-4029-85de-9a71e3daffdf.jpg?v=1571611296 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251014 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251014_LR_921c84f9-7f69-4fc0-bb6c-fdeb316da4e3.jpg?v=1571611296 Are you telling me your company expects you to sell cosmetics with a face like that? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251015 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251015_LR_2967a619-959b-44ec-9ed4-d6489e95e6a6.jpg?v=1571611296 Why don’t I recommend a plastic surgeon to do something about that nose? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251016 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251016_LR_9476ba73-5e39-4e1c-b7c1-79e7f0f76ce1.jpg?v=1571611296 It’s nothing to worry about, but I want you to wear this Medic-Alert helmet. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251017 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251017_LR_004a3c5d-6b4f-4cc9-b20a-c695cade98bb.jpg?v=1571611296 He’s probably held up in traffic. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251018 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251018_LR_586b86fe-7bfb-4312-b591-bbb04e30bc66.jpg?v=1571611296 Your teeth are in my jello! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251020 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251020_LR_f224e3d9-3c1b-4575-992f-b38d4b7952c8.jpg?v=1571611296 It’s a Siberian mountain dog. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251021 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251021_LR_c15dc837-9b37-4954-9b5b-99bfaf55b222.jpg?v=1571611296 I told you not to drink all that coffee. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251022 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251022_LR_27511013-c8dd-4cf3-95cb-0dabc61e1460.jpg?v=1571611296 She’s gonna spend my $18 tax refund on a $400 coat. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251023 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251023_LR_d7d32897-fff0-4edc-ab3c-17da668ea293.jpg?v=1571611296 And when we come back, we’ll meet someone who clearly demonstrates that all men are NOT created equal. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251024 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251024_LR_5d255b12-5d45-42e1-ac06-fe49253a5bd1.jpg?v=1571611296 They change the beds every day! I can never find mine! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251025 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251025_LR_f4c89b73-539a-4869-9d44-e483bada7cfc.jpg?v=1571611296 He’s trying to hatch some duck eggs. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251027 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251027_LR_8b7fc18f-f53c-47d5-86a1-1016b968cf26.jpg?v=1571611296 It’s no use. I can’t sleep with this wallpaper. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251028 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251028_LR_9ba1b087-ae88-4700-a71a-5e450b8e9f05.jpg?v=1571611296 I’ll have to adjust the brushes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251029 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251029_LR_d057dcb6-0f1e-40cb-b12a-458a2bf81524.jpg?v=1571611296 I’ll meet you in an hour. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251030 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251030_LR_779fdec0-28de-4adf-9d08-310d4fb8f05f.jpg?v=1571611296 Sitting Bull’s taken the saloon. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251031 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251031_LR_b68f8e78-44d9-43fb-a7fa-889092c4d7e8.jpg?v=1571611296 He’s been driving 16 hours non-stop. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251101 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251101_LR_39bbd3a5-f9a2-4e4f-ba82-96cdb2b32d23.jpg?v=1571611296 The mirror isn’t cracked; that’s the back of your head. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251103 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251103_LR_cb1ccd7b-2967-4ae6-8514-368a315686ab.jpg?v=1571611296 Mother asked me to get you to open this jar of pickles for her. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251104 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251104_LR_3cc3713d-63ec-4362-835b-f7a6713f6d04.jpg?v=1571611296 Excuse me, may I go ahead of you? I’m in rather a hurry. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251105 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251105_LR_32a75521-9fe9-4d3f-89b5-68018db6d181.jpg?v=1571611296 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251106 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251106_LR_bea1b9ed-9642-40c5-885e-fbc4d7fde30b.jpg?v=1571611296 Just follow the blue line until you find your insurance card. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251107 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251107_LR_3e03c4d2-5617-4de6-b98c-666f79571f03.jpg?v=1571611296 Wake up, Dad. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251108 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251108_LR_562f5163-2cab-432b-b2f2-65766803d6a7.jpg?v=1571611296 Has it really been 2 million years since Wall Street collapsed?! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251110 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251110_LR_758c74d9-00ed-4f9c-a84e-365857fa7768.jpg?v=1571611296 Nurse! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251111 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251111_LR_16531506-41ce-41d7-856e-21c3b4463c57.jpg?v=1571611296 He says fitness is a state of mind. So he sits there thinking about exercise. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251112 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251112_LR_348eedc0-78d3-462f-940d-c33973aca7ff.jpg?v=1571611296 I gave up all dreams of happiness when I agreed to marry Henry. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251113 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251113_LR_e39123c3-560e-4a97-85c4-622d7ba341d8.jpg?v=1571611296 Can you send someone over to fix the polygraph machine? All the pens have broken off. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251114 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251114_LR_8540bd11-8043-46a9-a6af-9ee30aebdab3.jpg?v=1571611297 It’s just till I fix the hole in our fence. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251115 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251115_LR_004a9b46-9293-404d-a754-8f15a0d7f3a5.jpg?v=1571611297 Kids off school today, Charlie? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251117 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251117_LR_8ba9aecb-3ac6-4b42-b862-6e74bd0599e5.jpg?v=1571611297 You sure think you know a lot for a guy who grew up watching black and white TV! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251118 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251118_LR_e647c0f7-f3ea-42d4-b0c4-231b37e8b11e.jpg?v=1571611297 They didn’t have computer dating when we were young. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251119 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251119_LR_e07d1fb0-f8f5-4a3e-ac6e-d48e6060ac1e.jpg?v=1571611297 I’m tired of being an unknown artist. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251120 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251120_LR_5d08224a-5440-4b4d-ba10-a844406c49e9.jpg?v=1571611297 I just asked you how the meat loaf was. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251121 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251121_LR_ab18cfbb-db38-495f-8fa1-336c212e1099.jpg?v=1571611297 Wonderful! You woke up the baby. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251122 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251122_LR_ac1d929e-b369-4d99-b68a-a94693576f89.jpg?v=1571611297 That’s ‘ozone layer cake.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251124 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251124_LR_34834b42-d449-4ed8-8e40-b7c2d6feb30a.jpg?v=1571611297 That should clear the rug. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251125 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251125_LR_275231a1-88a5-436f-98e1-ccae72364290.jpg?v=1571611297 You have been found guilty of forgery. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251126 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251126_400.jpg?v=1571611297 Exchanging beads for gold is a fantastic idea. We’ll go and get our beads. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251127 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251127_LR_ac49da55-4152-43d6-b494-f07af478f939.jpg?v=1571611297 I don’t think I can take that dripping tap in the kitchen for the next seven years. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251128 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251128_LR_7a528517-51aa-468a-b28f-15ed66b71569.jpg?v=1571611297 Have you ever thought about sending your lunch to an African village? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251129 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251129_LR_6a8e149b-0bfa-4a49-a815-37d8e19b5a77.jpg?v=1571611297 My school report card is not going to help your ulcer. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251201 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251201_LR_9f1f3d52-b2e2-4a95-8cda-f661c2d3fd9b.jpg?v=1571611297 It shot over there, under the stove! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251202 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251202_LR_32f46334-e599-41de-b339-940e42ec4026.jpg?v=1571611297 Classic hay fever. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251203 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251203_LR_c4508c4b-d17e-4e37-8da6-7b3825f2fb87.jpg?v=1571611297 There must be other jobs besides being a bodyguard. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251204 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251204_LR_3616ec1c-2fe8-495f-bafa-09df26aa0376.jpg?v=1571611297 She’s changed her nationality 14 times and still hasn’t won anything. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251205 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251205_LR_31136d71-60c6-4b2f-8cbc-2b68ebd1bc2c.jpg?v=1571611297 Nice to meet you. You must be ‘Linebacker.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251206 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251206_LR_ce573b76-f0a5-4b4b-9ffd-fb6c77c9d617.jpg?v=1571611297 HE SAID, IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251208 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251208_LR_46e2dd88-58d1-4881-83d1-7172df6a2954.jpg?v=1571611297 I know I only started yesterday, but I need a couple of weeks off. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251209 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251209_LR_3a1a50a4-991d-4e18-9685-3c458cee3d7b.jpg?v=1571611297 Hey! How many of these sticks equals two tablespoons? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251210 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251210_LR_878bb780-8f44-431b-a218-fc43b0ace38a.jpg?v=1571611297 I remember this place when it was a volcano. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251211 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251211_LR_b598ca46-0b3e-4de2-8df1-1f94b7dff25e.jpg?v=1571611297 I warned you about taking steroids with your low blood pressure. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251212 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251212_LR_63e8ef1f-da2d-450d-b7a1-15b9862efaf1.jpg?v=1571611297 Mrs. Parker, most of this mail is for you. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251213 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251213_LR_ec039c03-6b4e-49a8-812e-a1c71690fcea.jpg?v=1571611297 I am an equal opportunity employer, so I’ve decided to give all the other employers an equal opportunity at your services. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251215 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251215_LR_a7cefb71-7efb-42a6-bf26-8305fc75ce92.jpg?v=1571611297 This Beef Wellington tastes like rubber boots! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251216 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251216_LR_d0bd0593-36f8-4f63-b4f0-b16a689a8157.jpg?v=1571611297 I wish you wouldn’t keep doing that. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251217 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251217_LR_a33c98bf-20e3-49be-b82f-9fb56d2ee5bf.jpg?v=1571611297 Don’t forget to take out the garbage. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251218 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251218_LR_55c80af5-98f4-40a3-8366-ef930b1d55af.jpg?v=1571611297 I thought so! He’s gonna have to come through the window. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251219 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251219_LR_1f26292f-f1fd-47b0-9958-06bd94c3fc40.jpg?v=1571611298 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251220 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251220_LR_f2caa0d2-acd5-47ec-8f68-dce5c3926079.jpg?v=1571611298 Mom, I’m going to bed now. Wake me up Christmas morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251222 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251222_LR_45d290f5-c7ec-439c-9923-65a6e489f9f3.jpg?v=1571611298 It’s an emergency. She’s gotta be at the hairdresser in three minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251223 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251223_LR_18c4dbdc-b3a1-404c-bf48-eeaa13d34b42.jpg?v=1571611298 Alex… come up this end. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251224 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251224_LR_7b18a1eb-c9b7-48fa-b4bd-33207c966dfc.jpg?v=1571611298 It’s nothing to worry about. You just need to drink more water. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251225 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251225_LR_9326a65c-756e-455e-9acb-6ec99c641296.jpg?v=1571611298 I said, ‘Merry Christmas, Your Lordship. You can’t take it with you.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251226 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251226_LR_f0485536-12f7-48d2-a217-2a90309c3f5d.jpg?v=1571611298 She’s got that diamond ring stuck on her finger. Got an ax? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251227 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251227_LR_97cd828f-7e52-47c7-a0ee-e52f9def849f.jpg?v=1571611298 Can my wife borrow your snow shovel? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251229 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251229_LR_2ea4a329-e026-47b5-b8dd-c5d254863904.jpg?v=1571611298 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251230 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251230_LR_92b136ed-13d2-4821-bd6b-afb3599c5172.jpg?v=1571611298 We want two round-trip tickets to here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm251231 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM251231_LR_c60d215f-0632-4379-8e99-c2edd4902f7f.jpg?v=1571611298 He doesn’t get THAT from his father. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260101 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260101_LR_0d2bf210-3c73-48a3-a624-c45fd4b9465c.jpg?v=1571611298 We’d love to have you over for dinner, but we only have nine chairs. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260102 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260102_LR_4c79512f-599e-4200-8cda-6451de94f552.jpg?v=1571611298 She needs a pair of backseat driving glasses. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260103 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260103_LR_f99be940-2d11-45dd-a9e6-b3f8169af20d.jpg?v=1571611298 Not much on TV. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260105 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260105_LR_c8f850fa-5270-4a5f-b85a-aa78934e95cb.jpg?v=1571611298 The big ones are 15 years. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260106 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260106_LR_fb8493f2-50ff-4181-aa64-6ebe2f3fbb08.jpg?v=1571611298 For crying out loud… it’s a mirror! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260107 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260107_LR_45f8eb2e-657e-43e6-9826-bd53e265ae2a.jpg?v=1571611298 Got a pair of scissors? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260108 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260108_LR_2d167df3-7cfe-45af-8f53-78a90682ae73.jpg?v=1571611298 For a man with $38 in the bank, you sure spend a lot of time reading the financial page. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260109 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260109_LR_469d5951-991c-4c96-a32b-defe5ccebd27.jpg?v=1571611298 I keep going hot and cold. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260110 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260110_LR_eeaf5481-2ed2-40a9-9d21-a0edca0017e0.jpg?v=1571611298 I had a good job waiting for me on the outside, but they installed a burglar alarm. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260112 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260112_LR_47dcc217-9eaf-45ab-ac02-c017ffa12295.jpg?v=1571611298 Don’t go through there, I’ve just painted the floor. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260113 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260113_LR_c557558c-8b06-4be2-b22f-4443e94d2317.jpg?v=1571611298 I opened 13 dummy corporations – now I can’t find my money. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260114 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260114_LR_9697843a-84ce-4d07-9511-11a47d75ba00.jpg?v=1571611298 They warned us in hairdressing college this day would come. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260115 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260115_LR_2c687797-8a32-40fa-9070-82ed2f3455c8.jpg?v=1571611298 I think we should move to a better neighborhood. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260116 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260116_LR_a6bd3161-015d-4c16-845c-c10a85415819.jpg?v=1571611298 The word on the street is that a guy named Hannibal is looking for a bunch of elephant trainers. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260117 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260117_LR_fdc30c50-116b-4c85-9b1a-a93bc523d6b9.jpg?v=1571611298 This year I’m gonna finish off the basement! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260119 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260119_LR_3fb0d073-f980-4fcb-80d1-a4949e9c19f2.jpg?v=1571611298 Your scalp’s very dry. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260120 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260120_LR_dbf9f551-396c-454c-a0d6-87e62d29866b.jpg?v=1571611298 Can I borrow your hedge trimmers for 18 years? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260121 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260121_LR_723763b9-eb25-4b5c-8f4e-ebe7646ccb43.jpg?v=1571611298 Wait ’til you see his backhand. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260122 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260122_LR_cefc0d0b-8a6b-45fd-9ac7-fbdd96f09e74.jpg?v=1571611298 My little TV’s not working! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260123 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260123_LR_ca7e7603-d702-4072-8b4d-44d501c63198.jpg?v=1571611298 Herman, I want you to know there's nothing personal in this! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260124 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260124_LR_827bc6a7-b3f5-48f9-8794-81f96873afcc.jpg?v=1571611298 D’you want slaw with the jelly donut? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260126 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260126_LR_3ad26d7a-9059-47c9-b068-b7040cbbe25f.jpg?v=1571611298 They finally gave me the key to the executive washroom. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260127 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260127_LR_4987fd05-bac9-4fde-a25e-5e1464e3f514.jpg?v=1571611299 Don’t tell me this is hurting you more than it’s hurting me. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260128 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260128_LR_8088216e-ffdb-4761-9222-b53bb52cd027.jpg?v=1571611299 Smoking or non-smoking? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260129 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260129_LR_342d6ba5-eef5-4592-bf40-dde9212d8f20.jpg?v=1571611299 I can’t remember which one of these is fish and chips and which one is liver and onions. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260130 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260130_LR_efe3d1cb-3f5d-4438-88e3-593e67fa7916.jpg?v=1571611299 Tachometer for an ’98 Ferrari. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260131 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260131_LR_987d73be-07cb-450f-80df-8bba62034486.jpg?v=1571611299 I’m perfectly capable of washing my face, Harold. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260202 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260202_LR_a4246788-684a-4faa-93e9-76a0ee5219ee.jpg?v=1571611299 I told you what ‘park’ meant. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260203 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260203_LR_b2bce2fc-0fde-4bdc-ac58-1e92240bbb2c.jpg?v=1571611299 I’ve been watching this quiz show for 15 years, and I’ve never once answered a question correctly. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260204 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260204_LR_f6193f5b-1b05-4a93-a779-004425bbe830.jpg?v=1571611299 We’re under new management. ’Soup of the day’ is a mushroom omelet. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260205 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260205_LR_bfcdb378-9461-4013-b5f9-f4f305c2f93b.jpg?v=1571611299 His doctor told him to stay away from anything fatty. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260206 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260206_LR_b7a246e9-6c88-473e-9c5e-4b834309f448.jpg?v=1571611299 Now don’t worry about the noise this drill makes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260207 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260207_LR_80d2dc96-83c7-4625-895a-6ac172414c23.jpg?v=1571611299 I made it out of soap. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260209 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260209_LR_8ac39769-3642-4d9b-b934-51b2977a2ed8.jpg?v=1571611299 Hey Lily. You were in the army. What’s an ‘adjective’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260210 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260210_LR_fe6e4347-fca0-403c-b8c2-dd913463b04d.jpg?v=1571611299 If you don’t leave me alone, I’ll call a mugger. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260211 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260211_LR_411cc818-f305-4fda-9fa2-b450e8dd468a.jpg?v=1571611299 You’ll strain your eyes looking for a job like that! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260212 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260212_LR_5ed21301-e93a-4847-a26a-91328e6dccf5.jpg?v=1571611299 Wake up. I’m lost. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260213 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260213_LR_eeeb43cf-ade6-48da-b366-f1c166fa0afa.jpg?v=1571611299 Ma’am, the Captain has requested you give him an advance warning should you wish to leave your seat during the flight. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260214 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260214_LR_21b7daa7-2f0b-4653-b297-f13cf535fed2.jpg?v=1571611299 Which hospital did you stay at on your honeymoon? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260216 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260216_LR_bdf582ba-c820-4f09-a96b-550cfe36d18b.jpg?v=1571611299 Put these oven mitts on. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260217 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260217_LR_c9d79751-89f7-4870-b699-5b422d13adbb.jpg?v=1571611299 His doctor told him to get some mountain air. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260218 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260218_LR_16e272ac-4e4f-413d-a1a9-515406adff67.jpg?v=1571611299 I put two eggs in this cake! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260219 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260219_LR_fb20c531-cc1e-49ad-891b-dce74c8283fa.jpg?v=1571611299 I don’t like to get personally involved. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260220 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260220_LR_2d8ad056-910b-4aeb-96da-38232ae09e3e.jpg?v=1571611299 We’ve been married for 27 years. How about time off for good behavior? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260221 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260221_LR_7db25e7f-497e-4a77-b062-fd5c1ff9edd2.jpg?v=1571611299 How do you spell ‘Arthur’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260223 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260223_LR_120351d6-55bc-4cf4-9098-87507290e399.jpg?v=1571611299 I don’t care what I look like, I’m not getting mutilated by hair-rollers. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260224 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260224_LR_c3822dc5-bdda-440c-a3f9-4f4e1bee4e64.jpg?v=1571611299 It’s not my fault we haven’t got your size! Try Camping Equipment on the third FLoor. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260225 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260225_LR_4cf2f5d9-bfec-4e2f-ae23-03c9508cfd23.jpg?v=1571611299 It is an emergency! The potatoes are burning my head. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260226 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260226_LR_010793e8-1de4-48af-857a-e45d52d298f2.jpg?v=1571611299 Hand over your pacemaker. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260227 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260227_LR_fe4db3a0-3544-4613-a4db-91382592dfe9.jpg?v=1571611299 They’ve given you two more years for good behavior. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260228 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260228_LR_e44e9a42-184c-4ced-814f-cfcb0d69d625.jpg?v=1571611299 All the people who had the ‘fish spaghetti’ for lunch want to check out. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260302 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260302_LR_4ad297b3-1730-487a-9882-751620b03288.jpg?v=1571611299 I thought I’d make them long to keep your knees warm. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260303 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260303_LR_8a156808-98b8-4b15-a4dd-6add8e82ee1c.jpg?v=1571611299 If you want a good runabout, buy this… It won’t start. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260304 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260304_LR_4d9752c4-19f8-4138-bd36-3933d0734712.jpg?v=1571611299 Have you ever been to Ralph’s Body Shop? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260305 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260305_LR_dca7cdcc-e71a-4510-8061-59308bac9d43.jpg?v=1571611299 And another thing… I’m getting sick and tired of looking at the picture of Brad Pitt. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260306 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260306_LR_daf1a346-a156-4ed2-9fc7-bd85110eff72.jpg?v=1571611299 We don’t want to confuse the public. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260307 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260307_LR_0cdf62f3-647f-443f-a560-dee2c1776af3.jpg?v=1571611300 How many times have I told you not to put your feet on the table? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260309 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260309_LR_2c39e914-8e24-4454-a0db-b573874114ed.jpg?v=1571611300 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260310 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260310_LR_7ae4cba7-c4b1-4c50-b293-d68b8c16a6d8.jpg?v=1571611300 He says he’s invented a saltshaker that will never clog. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260311 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260311_LR_0ee74d88-4690-4c02-bab9-323c3701d356.jpg?v=1571611300 I hate chess! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260312 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260312_LR_b3b3642a-e046-4cf1-9119-324dd286def9.jpg?v=1571611300 Mom, look, we made Grandad smile! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260313 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260313_LR_316952b8-1d44-424a-910f-57023832dbb5.jpg?v=1571611300 Good grief man! How does anyone swallow an electric toothbrush? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260314 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260314_LR_58f2f811-9465-420a-8072-35150fd930e1.jpg?v=1571611300 He’s taking one of those correspondence courses to become a window dresser. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260316 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260316_LR_0dc77446-aee4-4713-983d-96c6ba43cfcf.jpg?v=1571611300 How many times have I told you about slamming that door! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260317 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260317_LR_be72fd15-f1d8-4401-9492-f4d689193802.jpg?v=1571611300 We want something to match our carpet. What have you got with cigarette burns? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260318 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260318_LR_f82b919a-bd6c-43e7-b327-bd178098d118.jpg?v=1571611300 Have you any that just died? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260319 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260319_LR_5e2a77b4-a93c-495b-bae0-4353c3555142.jpg?v=1571611300 Gimme twenty bucks. The good old days of five dollars a week allowance are over for you. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260320 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260320_LR_7c151743-bf8a-4126-8c3d-581505513e6b.jpg?v=1571611300 Take him straight down to X-ray. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260321 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260321_LR_4103fcc7-b414-4ab3-a829-5783eb88555f.jpg?v=1571611300 Looks like ‘zebra’ finally made it onto the endangered list. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260323 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260323_LR_4ff71209-efbf-4a44-b576-f79f802841f9.jpg?v=1571611300 One owner. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260324 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260324_LR_c71f6dab-bd25-48b2-adfb-c2426873a882.jpg?v=1571611300 Your honor, he’s leading the witness. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260325 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260325_LR_4a09ba7c-7f12-4ce3-916b-646fe5c9628e.jpg?v=1571611300 I take it you have the very best medical insurance. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260326 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260326_LR_0076a0d7-1069-4aad-a06f-6de2e45199aa.jpg?v=1571611300 I don’t keep bath crystals in the kitchen. This is Jello! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260327 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260327_LR_a0f9bc4f-44a3-4ad4-be2f-bddcf1446c21.jpg?v=1571611300 I’m not break-dancing! I hit my hand. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260328 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260328_LR_9ad05c8f-c974-4c74-b394-9ff3670fd822.jpg?v=1571611300 Turn left at the light, and it’s the 79th street on the right. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260330 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260330_LR_79a31bb5-4cc7-42f7-9ddd-c0bf8c910761.jpg?v=1571611300 They don’t hear so good when they get old. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260331 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260331_LR_403f802a-53d4-4f5b-be50-7be59b6c5df2.jpg?v=1571611300 I was laid off work yesterday. Wake me up in three weeks. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260401 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260401_LR_90c7c219-887b-4825-aec0-2ac76772be75.jpg?v=1571611300 You call yourself ‘early man’? You’re three hours late! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260402 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260402_LR_9ef900ae-5e37-403a-ad2d-082afcbb4de9.jpg?v=1571611300 He’s only buying me a dishwasher to save himself work. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260403 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260403_LR_d4df825a-3a60-46cc-a8ff-7fd90ecb6a9a.jpg?v=1571611300 I didn’t say, ‘undress.’ I said ‘address.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260404 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260404_LR_546b2de6-7ba1-4d1a-a9b6-e786d98358db.jpg?v=1571611300 He says bullfighting is the only thing he’s good at. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260406 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260406_LR_13927830-9a56-49a4-a2fc-fcf39c55afbe.jpg?v=1571611300 If we’re not related, d’you wanna go out Saturday night? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260407 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260407_LR_bcedb2c1-8ce9-494e-9a7c-605ec27105df.jpg?v=1571611300 I said, take the lock off! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260408 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260408_LR_b25629c5-b783-46b8-9faf-2957be415aaa.jpg?v=1571611300 Did those french fries taste like they’d been cooked in furniture polish? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260409 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260409_LR_a810a03b-8162-453e-86e0-2a3b3623d813.jpg?v=1571611300 This our elephant trainer? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260410 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260410_LR_ee938ce6-54bd-4cb8-91fb-bf1b229c2e3f.jpg?v=1571611300 Say, aren’t you Harry Henderson and Pete Watson? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260411 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260411_LR_7bbd172a-76f0-4525-850f-286abe8dbc34.jpg?v=1571611301 You must be the notorious Captain Phillips. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260413 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260413_LR_22b014e7-c397-434f-b592-bee4f663c59d.jpg?v=1571611301 What is it this time? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260414 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260414_LR_603f982b-da00-4161-b504-f4bba5755865.jpg?v=1571611301 Got anything for vine-burn? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260415 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260415_LR_a0381b34-cb26-4554-8f38-5e1103754e05.jpg?v=1571611301 Hey, Harry. Have a look through the down-stairs window and see if you can see her hiding behind the door. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260416 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260416_LR_3cbf51ae-6485-4c4b-acbb-24466d048b8f.jpg?v=1571611301 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260417 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260417_LR_724fc006-1c7c-4a79-9509-0a7d8dcccf20.jpg?v=1571611301 I can’t keep anything down. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260418 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260418_LR_7bd99fcc-721f-4af3-915a-304f15d0fede.jpg?v=1571611301 How much do I have in my account? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260420 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260420_LR_7d01d8c6-c776-44e8-9e60-dab65da7f71c.jpg?v=1571611301 Two years is a long time to have jet lag. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260421 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260421_LR_528a1c7f-51c5-487a-9378-4d15f70d4bea.jpg?v=1571611301 I know there’s more pleasure in giving. I like to suffer. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260422 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260422_LR_c2e3fe5d-a862-4e0f-9be0-194b2b113415.jpg?v=1571611301 One cola, no ice. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260423 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260423_LR_c5c7fa1f-7ac0-469f-896b-1cedf1528c57.jpg?v=1571611301 You’ve had a triple bypass. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260424 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260424_LR_98a5b380-9bd4-4c3d-9dac-18e6c5da36f4.jpg?v=1571611301 It says here, ‘Eat before last summer.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260425 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260425_LR_6980a151-8cb8-4963-8133-112c0ec40a16.jpg?v=1571611301 Just a few more minutes because Daddy’s on the night shift. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260427 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260427_LR_7b7e6211-4416-4e97-844a-00bb6f0a482e.jpg?v=1571611301 Any idea where I left my razor? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260428 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260428_LR_9a831028-1ddb-4166-8b8e-8baa369974bf.jpg?v=1571611301 I’ll pass on the top letter and come back to it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260429 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260429_LR_d763243b-2cb8-46ee-a74e-876273861677.jpg?v=1571611301 Most of them are for ballroom dancing. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260430 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260430_LR_3ddc6438-8d8a-41a3-be7b-3725a4fbbed3.jpg?v=1571611301 You get a company car after two years. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260501 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260501_LR_c77a30fa-bc45-4154-b50f-e3c4866cc645.jpg?v=1571611301 Whaddyer mean, ‘I’ll be late for work’? It’s six o’clock in the evening. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260502 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260502_LR_5d6499e6-8419-4ae2-8f27-9541298f9a7a.jpg?v=1571611301 And don’t call me ‘Stone Age.’ I’m Bronze Age. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260504 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260504_LR_72595026-6790-4574-a0e6-c65fd56bb99b.jpg?v=1571611301 The guarantee ran out while you were on the phone. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260505 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260505_LR_e984fe5f-d7bb-4aab-9d89-2ab095ec0b88.jpg?v=1571611301 For what we are about to receive, thanks for nothing. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260506 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260506_LR_3037074e-9392-4a7e-88c4-54499cbc4372.jpg?v=1571611301 Get me a lawyer. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260507 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260507_LR_6d9d9c6f-0033-4408-b736-76bc5856b693.jpg?v=1571611301 I heard you played by ear. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260508 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260508_LR_d1f6d291-7cf7-4b5f-bff4-f3e588729a54.jpg?v=1571611301 You don’t want to infect all the other patients, do you? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260509 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260509_LR_6616c76c-384a-4f31-9ace-8cab430c12f2.jpg?v=1571611301 What do you want? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260511 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260511_LR_6e3614b6-e179-4190-b064-3065f02e0025.jpg?v=1571611301 My heart nearly stopped. I thought I was looking in a mirror. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260512 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260512_LR_8aa53b9a-86de-4f10-b0af-b231dd5f04fc.jpg?v=1571611301 What would you do if you swore to keep a secret and it was driving you crazy? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260513 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260513_LR_614165f0-81bc-4fa8-bc6b-a2b2b7e42d09.jpg?v=1571611301 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260514 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260514_LR_ff2a8d34-b988-40c5-8869-58a24b492ab0.jpg?v=1571611301 Your doctor wants to marry me if you don’t make it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260515 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260515_LR_2ec16cea-1adb-4e81-b337-f574c54e0136.jpg?v=1571611301 E, C A B Z, M… https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260516 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260516_LR_c03464b5-10fa-4e26-8703-59f26f412f54.jpg?v=1571611301 Well, now we know what they meant when they said, ‘You can’t take it with you.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260518 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260518_LR_3e75bfbf-0014-4e7e-b4ba-b919ae5ed3f5.jpg?v=1571611301 What did I tell you, the guy in the bow tie won. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260519 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260519_LR_243c2c65-1897-47c3-a615-cb2cf91c35e1.jpg?v=1571611301 Want the inside done? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260520 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260520_LR_755cef63-a65f-4b2f-9f4b-43c6a34fa9b6.jpg?v=1571611301 We’re trained to ignore pain and suffering during coffee breaks. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260521 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260521_LR_e039a1ef-591f-47dd-8012-aef12cc48137.jpg?v=1571611301 You won’t get better odds than that anywhere else. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260522 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260522_LR_9c433492-2670-45ff-a23b-1eb23c3c5644.jpg?v=1571611302 The bride made her own cake. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260523 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260523_LR_2e1d4c8e-5418-4ff4-9665-105e64d23a84.jpg?v=1571611302 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260525 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260525_LR_74479f70-a5a0-4b0f-8c81-8a5d7dc393dd.jpg?v=1571611302 You know what they say, ‘Two can starve as cheaply as one.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260526 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260526_LR_ccc57005-4814-414e-a815-9381e03beb7c.jpg?v=1571611302 Last time I was here you said I probably needed a cap. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260527 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260527_LR_7a4e6a8b-57f9-43c2-8eae-768ff62ea27a.jpg?v=1571611302 Can you sign it for me? I didn’t bring my glasses. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260528 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260528_LR_1c067874-164b-4f75-8e64-8c9646d3aebb.jpg?v=1571611302 I love going out but the old misery always comes home and says he’s too tired. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260529 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260529_LR_05dcea4b-a539-43e7-9f25-f763cff053a4.jpg?v=1571611302 I hope you’re not one of those people who have trouble swallowing pills. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260530 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260530_LR_48fa122b-f444-43c0-b3ca-84bb99eb7f84.jpg?v=1571611302 Don’t keep complaining about my mother. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260601 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260601_LR_f14151bc-8370-4517-bc5b-c5f7f699e8b6.jpg?v=1571611302 Try the next one. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260602 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260602_LR_02a9a81b-cf75-481d-be11-f4e4a3d4d345.jpg?v=1571611302 This is our beginner’s model. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260603 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260603_LR_e4cee43d-f1a8-4b26-bc64-a60e9e3618e7.jpg?v=1571611302 My blankets keep sliding off. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260604 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260604_LR_c238c6b0-461b-4a2f-8478-7dfb309b1f8d.jpg?v=1571611302 I can’t be any fairer than that… $1.5 million reduced to $25. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260605 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260605_LR_62103db7-e7c7-4022-813e-421dc575b728.jpg?v=1571611302 It’s a blue 10-speed with the front wheel missing. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260606 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260606_LR_b739753f-6e84-4ad8-ac2d-08bfd513ec86.jpg?v=1571611302 Don’t move. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260608 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260608_LR_b7dc274f-b3cb-40e4-b1f6-ad1a757d4b49.jpg?v=1571611302 D’you want your change or shares in the company? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260609 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260609_LR_18eb9141-c697-42a2-9e2b-76e6f7fbfe7c.jpg?v=1571611302 I wouldn’t sell this piece of junk to my worst enemy. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260610 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260610_LR_afdbb37d-f666-46c8-8416-77fbacb2cedf.jpg?v=1571611302 That insurance salesman’s still out there! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260611 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260611_LR_561f568b-c5a2-4df9-a632-4901e3286d82.jpg?v=1571611302 You can’t have the Soup of the Day until yesterday’s is all gone. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260612 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260612_LR_5ec480de-f85d-4a2c-ab31-68932c191ef5.jpg?v=1571611302 Since when does a migratory bird need a passport? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260613 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260613_LR_cc83e680-ab3e-4904-a0f7-2ed2420e7b59.jpg?v=1571611302 Is it OK if he has a chest X-ray? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260615 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260615_LR_0c686af4-3c71-4e7f-b27c-c77826a44575.jpg?v=1571611302 All your tests were negative… which is positive. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260616 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260616_LR_12024564-250b-41c0-ac62-ce8cf687c000.jpg?v=1571611302 Hurry up. The tranquilizer’s wearing off. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260617 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260617_LR_c7baea3e-627f-4323-b7ec-0f9e8c66800b.jpg?v=1571611302 I asked that lawyer on the third floor what time he wanted me to clean his office and he sent me a bill for a consultation. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260618 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260618_LR_05e58b37-9a7d-486f-bafc-cabbb008f577.jpg?v=1571611302 For the first week, I think you should leave 20 minutes apart. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260619 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260619_LR_7185bb8e-d3d2-40fd-a491-ab1e17895c39.jpg?v=1571611302 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260620 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260620_LR_508b8ced-6b19-4a8e-9e32-37021b64a358.jpg?v=1571611302 He’s badgering the witness, your honor. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260622 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260622_LR_2ceaeb14-9800-4cea-a27f-020836eb2ef6.jpg?v=1571611302 She’d like the complete works of someone who didn’t write too much. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260623 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260623_LR_133f3fc4-9a46-45b5-aef4-588597dcfeb5.jpg?v=1571611302 If you don’t like to see me begging in the street, give me a thousand bucks! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260624 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260624_LR_d4ffbd5d-c67c-4a26-9274-e72f1f12de2c.jpg?v=1571611302 If you find a pork chop in your soup, it belongs to table nine. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260625 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260625_LR_d2a697fb-fc9e-40e3-b13c-4e4cdb5a19b9.jpg?v=1571611302 I just want to tell everyone that up until this moment, I’ve really enjoyed working here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260626 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260626_LR_1ef17aa6-f3d0-47a9-9055-9a494b4a5434.jpg?v=1571611302 We’re dealing with a superb tactician, sir. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260627 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260627_LR_9a806373-a65b-448e-88e8-8298ee79263a.jpg?v=1571611302 I think she’s decided on the green hatchback across the street. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260629 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260629_LR_6909153c-93bc-4a2b-a78d-bb34fafbddb5.jpg?v=1571611303 I want to make sure these arrive in order. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260630 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260630_LR_be2d497b-a3fb-4a2a-9940-4260caacaabf.jpg?v=1571611303 Dad, lend me $5,000 and I promise I’ll clean my room for a whole week. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260701 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260701_LR_c7485e39-404b-4dda-8cd2-270389a42efd.jpg?v=1571611303 Aha! I knew there was life on this planet. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260702 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260702_LR_4b20c270-06fa-482a-b30d-cfd5da1282c0.jpg?v=1571611303 I asked you what you wanted for lunch and you said, ‘Surprise me.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260703 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260703_LR_551aeddd-b5ef-4f4d-b153-6c946934adda.jpg?v=1571611303 Wine production is way up since we piped in dance hall music. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260704 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260704_LR_b9e4c9e5-a634-498f-95ce-eca66be7a08e.jpg?v=1571611303 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260706 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260706_LR_285b392e-d7ee-4b55-ab6a-9e21add4e11b.jpg?v=1571611303 Are you steering? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260707 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260707_LR_fabfc9f2-07cb-4f1d-a63e-f3da3bd1a515.jpg?v=1571611303 I prefer to work without supervision. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260708 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260708_LR_01c93619-3098-4226-813e-33b4a1125f3f.jpg?v=1571611303 You idiot! You threw away the keys to the washroom again! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260709 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260709_LR_8e8b7d18-2e14-41c7-8a2f-a1b239022459.jpg?v=1571611303 Quick… call a lawyer. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260710 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260710_LR_1db66527-93ad-46c6-9590-e51e8a5c8bc6.jpg?v=1571611303 I need a tow to Chestnut Drive, Wilmont Avenue and Hill Street. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260711 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260711_LR_de855fc5-1018-4851-8624-0d5dc4d76ebe.jpg?v=1571611303 The kitchen sink is full of dishes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260713 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260713_LR_ecdfb0a9-d434-4433-8061-4e0d7a586304.jpg?v=1571611303 I’ll be wearing a pink carnation. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260714 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260714_LR_c64758fa-5d7f-4c56-bf90-473a146089b2.jpg?v=1571611303 Helen, turn to channel 22, ‘World of Magic.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260715 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260715_LR_c2f5e19c-3f3e-4143-971c-75693c84f8d1.jpg?v=1571611303 I’ve decided to take a personal interest in your career. You’re fired. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260716 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260716_LR_0c4fb7cc-ac1d-405e-bdfd-8a937809e024.jpg?v=1571611303 I see you spent 20 years in the Army. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260717 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260717_LR_e4ad4122-1903-4d15-bb07-4b1be510bdb3.jpg?v=1571611303 Are you gonna listen or not? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260718 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260718_LR_01f4c1e7-26f6-47ca-a846-cd0ef01b0088.jpg?v=1571611303 I’b spled, I’b spill ab de benpisp. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260720 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260720_LR_24a1e6f7-5f27-48cf-8f53-364a06bf029c.jpg?v=1571611303 It’s so damp in our room, her wedding ring’s turned green! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260721 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260721_LR_6bfea201-7310-43eb-9438-b06f5d8ac2da.jpg?v=1571611303 That’s a photograph of my wife’s mother with the lens cap on. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260722 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260722_LR_e06c528f-adca-4cc1-ac6c-ad7276d79907.jpg?v=1571611303 I think it definitely makes a statement. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260723 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260723_LR_a819eae3-879b-43b5-871e-95a00cdea08e.jpg?v=1571611303 He has trouble reading the menu. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260724 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260724_LR_10f57323-4651-461c-971f-11d053013449.jpg?v=1571611303 He’s 70 million years old tomorrow. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260725 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260725_LR_6d4319df-680e-4c7a-ac94-89edd8ff4401.jpg?v=1571611303 That’s my wife’s lingerie. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260727 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260727_LR_99fb5a77-86d2-40f8-a159-aff16d72a784.jpg?v=1571611303 She’s been here over an hour and she still can’t decide. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260728 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260728_LR_438c56a8-d066-4aea-95b6-bd1557ef94df.jpg?v=1571611303 Do you have to fertilize the lawn today? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260729 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260729_LR_cd24473b-553d-49e3-8b2c-e5f4affa82c0.jpg?v=1571611303 Not my right eye, your right eye. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260730 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260730_LR_63cf9f36-634b-4a68-ae66-3634dccb3714.jpg?v=1571611303 I told you I’d be a few minutes late. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260731 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260731_LR_95cb0e2f-bb29-4608-b7c4-b8444e111a73.jpg?v=1571611303 He was never that popular in real life. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260801 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260801_LR_ec1c3f05-1b15-4619-8cb3-726c370a5f11.jpg?v=1571611303 I’m not gonna take any coffee breaks this week so I can have Friday off. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260803 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260803_LR_c74c95e5-0e0f-418c-a86c-dc88870e2749.jpg?v=1571611303 Dennis is a sweet sensitive guy, and if you don’t let us get married he’s gonna break both your legs. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260804 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260804_LR_d8795d53-9ee2-4050-8128-22997e4f253f.jpg?v=1571611303 No food or drinks. And just one trip to the bathroom. Have a nice flight. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260805 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260805_LR_08c147bf-a71e-451e-b3ce-be4dd76c0a69.jpg?v=1571611303 Sure you’ve got a choice! The top bunk or the floor. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260806 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260806_LR_13c66428-dd3e-4e41-a11e-5063808f1e38.jpg?v=1571611303 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260807 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260807_LR_b87d5156-1fc3-45ac-9078-260ef50d7772.jpg?v=1571611304 I can’t sleep with all that crunching. If you must eat, take your teeth out. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260808 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260808_LR_9172bb7d-0db5-4a9f-9e8e-3cf6d10a6223.jpg?v=1571611304 Where did you buy those boots? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260810 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260810_LR_39053f37-14ac-45bb-a1af-772363ec72ca.jpg?v=1571611304 I’ll raise you $200. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260811 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260811_LR_8ab96353-b1d7-44a8-908a-adce67fc64df.jpg?v=1571611304 I would like to ask for your daughter’s handmaiden. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260812 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260812_LR_6d3fb6c5-3176-4c81-93f2-e6c727a64e2b.jpg?v=1571611304 Nothing your mother does surprises me anymore. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260813 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260813_LR_ee6e4609-5db7-4ce3-a428-9a53f0776dea.jpg?v=1571611304 Personally, I think it helps the divorce if we leave both of them in there. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260814 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260814_LR_48319882-d8b4-41c6-a12a-f6eea0b1419e.jpg?v=1571611304 My wife doesn’t like me working late at the office. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260815 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260815_LR_6a2ac73e-0f29-470d-b89e-e86431415fd9.jpg?v=1571611304 Maurice, love is not blind enough to allow me to ignore that tie. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260817 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260817_LR_b9164614-2e1f-41b9-a2fe-5a098edaf3b8.jpg?v=1571611304 It’s a romantic novel… pure escapism. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260818 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260818_LR_e8312546-331e-4a83-8fe5-b30817bb7fa8.jpg?v=1571611304 Forget a compact. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260819 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260819_LR_d6b24937-1545-413d-b5b4-e846cbfc3354.jpg?v=1571611304 If you’re that worried about catching it, sleep in the KITCHEN. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260820 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260820_LR_f42be05a-da80-48f0-a6e4-84be1fbe14e8.jpg?v=1571611304 You want to test both eyes, don’t you? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260821 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260821_LR_6dcaa3b9-9de9-4998-8e30-c031f1617245.jpg?v=1571611304 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260822 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260822_LR_c29fd808-0d9c-4e30-b02a-29964341f014.jpg?v=1571611304 You’re supposed to blow them out! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260824 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260824_LR_3ad0da0b-12c5-416a-bc0a-9caaf74b4ae8.jpg?v=1571611304 I told you to call an electrician. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260825 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260825_LR_8bd1492b-1e97-4c6e-a7cb-f1d8db5b62c2.jpg?v=1571611304 There’s a bottle of wine on here that’s more than our mortgage payment! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260826 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260826_LR_4e1397ee-dfb4-46ed-9a40-29e286bbb0fb.jpg?v=1571611304 Mommy can’t see very well. D’you wanna swap seats? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260827 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260827_LR_1ca58497-88aa-4c72-a595-30d5dc654869.jpg?v=1571611304 Remember Ralphy, the moron? He’s making $1.2 million per year. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260828 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260828_LR_b1de92bf-dad1-4788-9e2a-25e3c84a4436.jpg?v=1571611304 I’ve been elected to the Credit Card Hall of Fame. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260829 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260829_LR_b8b6e703-7815-4f63-98a2-9b1b25cfa5cf.jpg?v=1571611304 I told him he thinks too much. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260831 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260831_LR_25e84adb-645d-45e1-bbce-42d2f9fe893f.jpg?v=1571611304 I took it to the wrong apartment. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260901 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260901_LR_5897979c-6487-49e0-86e9-a00cd0fc945f.jpg?v=1571611304 You promise not to use the balcony. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260902 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260902_LR_0b0ee697-3c70-4f07-a10c-a3c484f01b39.jpg?v=1571611304 I found your birth certificate in the attic. You’re not 54, you’re 91. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260903 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260903_LR_19036d61-492b-4f30-95d1-cd8fc8a65d8c.jpg?v=1571611304 Whaddyer mean ‘the oil’s only lukewarm’? They’ll be attacking in 10 minutes! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260904 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260904_LR_301a3293-2590-42ae-93f0-7660e48d3317.jpg?v=1571611304 Grandma, can we borrow these to make a tent? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260905 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260905_LR_892e56d0-0926-4576-9d0b-339a1005386c.jpg?v=1571611304 Apart from the words ‘orange-flavored’, the rest is in Latin. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260907 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260907_LR_b6790f31-9bdd-4a14-95a6-766c1d4c9f2b.jpg?v=1571611304 I think you’d better stay at work for a few days. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260908 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260908_LR_eb208e12-769a-4b18-b5ad-e8d35ddb90cb.jpg?v=1571611304 He’s terrible at making decisions. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260909 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260909_LR_afa5b2ba-f364-4294-851f-84c63078b3c9.jpg?v=1571611304 Do you sell wedding cakes by the slice. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260910 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260910_LR_17f37eb7-e989-4878-b299-28ebf21b0ee8.jpg?v=1571611304 I don’t trust those new-fangled battery-powered pacemakers. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260911 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260911_LR_28f961fd-88e3-4c27-b8d7-2cbd7244f634.jpg?v=1571611304 EAR, NOSE and THROAT! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260912 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260912_LR_25580f5b-62a9-4375-9189-0e8b7a48e994.jpg?v=1571611304 I take it we’re turning right. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260914 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260914_LR_f6994ce0-d4bc-4949-950e-799af2f81295.jpg?v=1571611304 If she takes that one, I’ll pay for it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260915 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260915_LR_d3ba6f12-582b-4e60-8aad-512eb273a755.jpg?v=1571611304 This is my new boyfriend. Can he have something to eat? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260916 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260916_LR_69a5138b-a464-475a-8ed1-ad98ceab5d65.jpg?v=1571611305 I think I’ll try my birthday again. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260917 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260917_LR_04cdae03-eea2-4b49-aed5-cfd43bd6dd75.jpg?v=1571611305 Just keep going left. If I’m not here when you get back, ask someone else. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260918 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260918_LR_a3b3946e-3592-4bd2-9d3a-06a746a35bb5.jpg?v=1571611305 I’m trying to get enough for a lottery ticket. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260919 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260919_LR_f1110ca6-b224-4d49-9b75-8bcebea31a0f.jpg?v=1571611305 You’re still cornering too fast. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260921 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260921_LR_b2bf2871-28e5-4616-9c9d-76aaf78a96bb.jpg?v=1571611305 We honeymooned aboard his 7-foot canoe. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260922 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260922_LR_6e4bbcfc-4bdd-4fa5-a39e-6f2f6c1a11b2.jpg?v=1571611305 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260923 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260923_LR_70cdd268-10c5-4b76-ba00-249c115780ef.jpg?v=1571611305 He loves a cup of tea. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260924 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260924_LR_741022e1-1709-4b3f-9d1d-9d026f452165.jpg?v=1571611305 He’s an exchange student. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260925 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260925_LR_35edc421-193f-43e5-bcab-11ab77a70850.jpg?v=1571611305 Have you been out of the country for more than 24 hours? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260926 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260926_LR_b79da3a6-a4e3-4ba8-ac35-e5c7e163a9fa.jpg?v=1571611305 Close that door! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260928 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260928_LR_9e0ee439-b80d-4d19-985c-eaf6efc2e0c6.jpg?v=1571611305 I can’t remember! Is the appendix on the left or on the right? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260929 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260929_LR_2c956fca-a95a-42c5-8b6f-e27ef035f60a.jpg?v=1571611305 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm260930 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM260930_LR_ed0e6602-c8d6-4eea-b4fd-dd3752beaf43.jpg?v=1571611305 Boo-oo-oo-ots. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261001 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261001_LR_436b7786-5b4e-4612-881d-a8712adb4817.jpg?v=1571611305 Anyone sitting here? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261002 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261002_LR_9049cddd-2789-40e8-b20c-c71108bafd5a.jpg?v=1571611305 Table for one near someone having sausages. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261003 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261003_LR_ec5ea355-bb15-44de-98f4-a9c9f54df135.jpg?v=1571611305 I have three jacks. Shall we risk Arizona? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261005 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261005_LR_a57b31a7-c1bd-49ef-b36b-ff04a1132e78.jpg?v=1571611305 The doctor says you’ll still be able to play the piano. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261006 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261006_LR_68b547ac-39c0-49ea-95c8-50ab04f48882.jpg?v=1571611305 Would I have worn this hat if I was gonna smuggle? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261007 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261007_LR_ae2c6ccb-3013-42ac-bb95-6a213396ad0b.jpg?v=1571611305 I don’t care if you are sick, you can’t sit there looking like that all day. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261008 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261008_LR_c7f33b34-2a2d-417b-92ea-86ce0b9a249a.jpg?v=1571611305 Doc, can you give me something to make me feel a bit more energetic? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261009 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261009_LR_d627f3f4-29e9-41b7-9aeb-5c23ac39b3ed.jpg?v=1571611305 It’s $500, but that includes a month’s supply of breath mints. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261010 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261010_LR_085ed15d-cf7a-489c-8ebb-72596c0c5f00.jpg?v=1571611305 Do you want me to close the window? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261012 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261012_LR_16fdb947-5541-4020-a1b9-f08469a379f0.jpg?v=1571611305 She just had her physical. The doctor says she’s as fit as a double bass. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261013 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261013_LR_20ca51b7-52ac-4e4b-99b7-ebe5ddc9608d.jpg?v=1571611305 I’m just having a look at your brain X-ray. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261014 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261014_LR_5fde1abd-3f84-4bf0-9644-820194e2d5f6.jpg?v=1571611305 Show me what to press if I want to record a movie after I’ve gone to bed. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261015 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261015_LR_c95a1ab6-b874-43f1-8549-d0ce6535d7f2.jpg?v=1571611305 We’re looking for someone honest, hardworking and totally devoid of ambition. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261016 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261016_LR_72daa3e8-18db-4543-9565-44e16ef9d34c.jpg?v=1571611305 That’s not the Catch of the Day, is it? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261017 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261017_LR_3717422c-9bef-4951-b650-c44cdda71cb6.jpg?v=1571611305 Wouldn’t I get faster service if I slept in your room? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261019 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261019_LR_401218b2-c5d3-489d-9eb5-8a81f53e82b1.jpg?v=1571611305 He says he’s been swimming around in circles for three days. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261020 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261020_LR_c887ad8a-9361-4db7-9ca3-361b81978b8f.jpg?v=1571611305 If I give myself up, do I get to keep the money? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261021 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261021_LR_b1ae0462-d6ec-474f-b6cf-4de10a5ad525.jpg?v=1571611305 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261022 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261022_LR_70f13c59-f372-43f8-9e72-af775adc7c29.jpg?v=1571611305 A whole boiled egg! So two years of cooking classes finally paid off. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261023 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261023_LR_5aa72579-951c-42c1-90d4-823ab60b7c7d.jpg?v=1571611306 It wasn’t gallstones! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261024 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261024_LR_63b47459-10c1-4a01-be06-30152ec23138.jpg?v=1571611306 It’s recycled imitation rabbit, designed and hand-sewn by disabled widows on fixed incomes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261026 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261026_LR_510dca92-9633-4804-b11f-9772c15e6a79.jpg?v=1571611306 And another thing. Because he has to be at work by 5 a.m., I get stuck with all the breakfast dishes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261027 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261027_LR_4b1dd5ee-b912-4651-9084-a5464bfcee61.jpg?v=1571611306 I guess things have changed since I was at school, Headmaster! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261028 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261028_LR_33fd49f0-1122-449e-a5cb-040ad2cef2ef.jpg?v=1571611306 They let us wear our own clothes on weekends. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261029 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261029_LR_284a9f6d-bf71-4e4f-945e-b819d3f0da09.jpg?v=1571611306 How many times do I have to tell you to work the other way? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261030 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261030_LR_fc02651f-3e70-4205-b8a8-fb6d96d5cc4c.jpg?v=1571611306 Catch of the day from the wine cellar, Francine. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261031 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261031_LR_c3de2f2d-3922-4d73-aad5-a8b048bebf5a.jpg?v=1571611306 You’re being released. Be ready to leave in 30 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261102 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261102_LR_8b3257ff-a936-423d-b40e-4369c4dfd5b6.jpg?v=1571611306 If I can’t spell it, how can I look it up in the dictionary? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261103 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261103_LR_761c3963-9a53-4538-a377-5c5060991e4b.jpg?v=1571611306 I need both hands for turning. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261104 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261104_LR_74a384f2-fdae-422d-abc4-6a967e89829c.jpg?v=1571611306 My doctor told me to take a cruise and relax. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261105 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261105_LR_30cdd668-1b2d-46c4-8610-36626d07cfa5.jpg?v=1571611306 We’ve agreed on an out-of-court settlement until we can each afford a lawyer. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261106 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261106_LR_78724c30-f55b-44ba-bb65-a3867b05daea.jpg?v=1571611306 Herman, couldn’t you fill up the car BEFORE getting dressed up as Lawrence of Arabia? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261107 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261107_LR_462006b7-a2cd-4ca2-a253-c6f89fcb8e78.jpg?v=1571611306 Why don’t you listen. I said you need a chiropractor not choir practice! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261109 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261109_LR_a6d69f27-5c83-420c-a356-bfe5ebf2357a.jpg?v=1571611306 How often do you find a basement apartment with a balcony? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261110 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261110_LR_5664aa69-7f1f-446b-938d-0c2f66a46375.jpg?v=1571611306 D’you mind if I sit on that side? I’m deaf in my right ear. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261111 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261111_LR_45db5b8f-247e-43fb-86ae-99f327b67d09.jpg?v=1571611306 I was practicing my karate and she hit me with half a brick. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261112 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261112_LR_792300f5-c4ff-4a65-91c3-6ec76a386fa4.jpg?v=1571611306 I’ve got her finger size in this peanut butter. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261113 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261113_LR_c81fa332-cb11-446d-8e92-ff69915edc6a.jpg?v=1571611306 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261114 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261114_LR_a3b2917e-985f-401b-86db-50a253f869a0.jpg?v=1571611306 I made you a nice fruitcake, but the guard said it could be used as an offensive weapon. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261116 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261116_LR_734038a8-3141-4d70-947e-fe90260b7e58.jpg?v=1571611306 We the jury find the defendant not guilty by reason of insanity. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261117 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261117_LR_52fb236b-2a12-4340-9157-68518830f526.jpg?v=1571611306 You don’t get atmosphere like this watching it on television. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261118 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261118_LR_bee508b2-716d-49a7-afc5-68190f6b49c2.jpg?v=1571611306 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261119 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261119_LR_d3ebf73b-f3c1-4dd8-b16d-1cc3f440f341.jpg?v=1571611306 That suit was made for you. It’s the cheapest one we’ve got. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261120 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261120_LR_a1990f2e-bae8-48ba-913e-a7dd8490d36e.jpg?v=1571611306 You won’t be gaining another daughter, you’ll be losing a son. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261121 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261121_LR_5caebceb-89a3-42f4-bcb1-6dbb7874aca2.jpg?v=1571611306 I had to give everyone their money back! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261123 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261123_LR_df883452-02d3-4cb4-b194-764ff8103f4e.jpg?v=1571611306 I guess you could say I’m a self-made man. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261124 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261124_LR_12b16588-ff47-4fba-8ddc-823a40e247ce.jpg?v=1571611306 I reserved two stools for 7:30. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261125 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261125_LR_18768e9d-b69a-4827-bb6a-f45d4af076a5.jpg?v=1571611306 How long does it take to walk down to the dispensary and get him a sleeping pill? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261126 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261126_LR_5b26978c-0e51-40fc-8bf5-f7e1e795be40.jpg?v=1571611306 Sorry about the bed, Sir, but you asked for our cheapest room. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261127 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261127_LR_daccd396-1d5d-4584-a7c3-2bbe3b60cc90.jpg?v=1571611307 One of these is a prescription and one is a receipt from a Chinese restaurant. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261128 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261128_LR_ccbeb201-2288-4d62-a4d1-17ee8e1aabf4.jpg?v=1571611307 We’ll take you off the vitamins for a couple of days. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261130 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261130_LR_980420ff-f893-41a0-8a4b-3cb429984f17.jpg?v=1571611307 Go past the steakhouse, turn right at the donut shop, past the pizza place and it’s just before the hamburger joint. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261201 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261201_LR_64712be6-d557-44b9-88ba-dbeb00ab13a8.jpg?v=1571611307 No charge for the sun roof. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261202 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261202_LR_9460f14d-76b3-4df0-a421-0307110447c6.jpg?v=1571611307 Don’t mess around. I know where you are. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261203 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261203_LR_70272caf-46f7-4f40-8453-2c7faf157eb0.jpg?v=1571611307 I don’t think Mom makes spaghetti on toast like that. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261204 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261204_LR_e9845973-62f0-4422-92a2-7510dcad6c05.jpg?v=1571611307 I don’t like it. He’s stopped crying and started smiling. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261205 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261205_LR_84dcc756-abd7-4934-9c27-8e2b31ae9930.jpg?v=1571611307 Battle stations. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261207 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261207_LR_50507730-969a-42cb-bd85-5ade4d29eaf4.jpg?v=1571611307 They took away his library card when they found out he was a bookkeeper. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261208 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261208_LR_b31a21b5-d363-4e0c-b358-8a688b31c58d.jpg?v=1571611307 Coward! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261209 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261209_LR_c7722cb3-fd0f-4e69-9406-caff03ea1d3e.jpg?v=1571611307 If I do happen to pick him out, what are the chances of him being held in custody long enough for me to leave the country? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261210 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261210_LR_97f9f13a-5f4f-4c36-8968-42a32f85c244.jpg?v=1571611307 I can get time off for bad behavior. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261211 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261211_LR_4246f227-c4fe-4671-bf79-6ad54f049b84.jpg?v=1571611307 I think he’s got his mommy’s mouth. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261212 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261212_LR_84e825ee-cf5a-4304-b9bd-e709373d1d86.jpg?v=1571611307 Gee Ralph, the party was yesterday! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261214 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261214_LR_8d8c6ce4-39c1-437a-9c0c-43341436d732.jpg?v=1571611307 You can get in the bathroom now. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261215 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261215_LR_717f0f33-d182-4399-8fd3-6d96eafb524a.jpg?v=1571611307 Good evening. I’m Andre, your Heimlich Maneuver specialist. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261216 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261216_LR_da82bf8a-21ae-4bb6-a15a-1a6bad63053d.jpg?v=1571611307 It keeps the bag-snatchers away. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261217 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261217_LR_80175361-62fc-4e95-bb68-8477ed7388d9.jpg?v=1571611307 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261218 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261218_LR_7f24d1c4-c1b1-4792-8ca2-f01b4b46e7b7.jpg?v=1571611307 If you get straight A’s at school, I’ll buy you the machine gun. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261219 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261219_LR_b087ecdc-0b35-46d1-ae0e-3505db3bad89.jpg?v=1571611307 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261221 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261221_LR_15c34b43-d435-4a0f-ad6a-6c8bcafcaf95.jpg?v=1571611307 It’s your wife. She wants a divorce. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261222 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261222_LR_baecc7f6-3e73-4e25-ae60-4f7b4bb2d047.jpg?v=1571611307 I get a real deal on fire insurance. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261223 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261223_LR_b664e99e-fc51-44b2-8d75-630778af49f2.jpg?v=1571611307 We only do dogs. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261224 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261224_LR_6460c7db-761b-4c7c-a265-b0532c50fadd.jpg?v=1571611307 He’s trying to figure out a way to clone himself so he can stay home all day and still get a paycheck. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261225 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261225_LR_34c0c7ee-ff0f-4746-8c47-170821d0c654.jpg?v=1571611307 I’m not naming him ‘Spartacus.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261226 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261226_LR_5fa5654c-3b39-4473-a689-a4d1d23debaf.jpg?v=1571611307 Got a hammer and chisel in avocado green? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261228 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261228_LR_ea1348a0-58f1-4884-a886-ac8b19bb8b8e.jpg?v=1571611307 Where did you buy these feather pillows? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261229 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261229_LR_9644a42c-6f12-4e73-8935-21447aefd8f3.jpg?v=1571611307 He had an emergency operation. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261230 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261230_LR_59cc86bf-9048-4789-aaae-31ce38d759e1.jpg?v=1571611307 D’you wanna buy some ‘Equal-Opportunity-Boy-Scout Cookies’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm261231 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM261231_LR_114c159e-3be6-4456-a3e0-5bcef3db3b5c.jpg?v=1571611307 I just hope you can pay for all these drinks you’ve been ordering. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270101 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270101_LR_ac27925b-4012-4066-8745-2c1c51f45de8.jpg?v=1571611307 Thirty-nine Primrose Lane, and step on it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270102 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270102_LR_da5dbf2d-8472-4e45-84a0-c3b68dbf27c1.jpg?v=1571611307 Please don’t slurp that soup while I’m trying to watch the movie. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270104 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270104_LR_4ff50f25-f7fb-475f-b497-51b7c32ececd.jpg?v=1571611307 How much is this book on speed reading? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270105 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270105_LR_b1c3bc06-defb-4664-a9e6-bfc1bde9edbb.jpg?v=1571611308 I may have to ruin your coat. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270106 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270106_LR_efb2bf56-f706-4dc3-8aee-3c6f4405ae8a.jpg?v=1571611308 That guy in room 3401 wants to know when the elevator’s gonna be fixed. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270107 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270107_LR_9266131b-c0a2-4244-9c5c-05760fc2da5c.jpg?v=1571611308 Why don’t you pick on someone your own size? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270108 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270108_LR_f2e21dcb-2182-410c-be6d-1096d96eb098.jpg?v=1571611308 If you can spare five seconds, I’d like to do a brain scan. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270109 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270109_LR_a76c99b7-1bff-453b-9456-94f5795ea993.jpg?v=1571611308 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270111 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270111_LR_13160813-15de-47b1-a1a6-c082661c1df1.jpg?v=1571611308 As soon as you’re in a good mood, I’ll show you the electricity bill. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270112 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270112_LR_e833d767-6e11-4b10-a857-c3d80622c282.jpg?v=1571611308 If this is 2 percent milk, how much am I paying for the other 98 percent? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270113 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270113_LR_92878642-7984-4215-b9b9-f6fb1281c345.jpg?v=1571611308 On your mark… get set… https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270114 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270114_LR_35254d32-fe43-4e4d-8948-58348592f922.jpg?v=1571611308 It’s not my fault you’re stupid. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270115 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270115_LR_9c884356-fc53-4f9a-86a7-f53771951a97.jpg?v=1571611308 What’s all this? It says he was born in three different places. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270116 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270116_LR_af1ab1d1-835c-42df-9321-025704b186dd.jpg?v=1571611308 Did you know you’ve got $34,000 worth of fire insurance on the swimming pool? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270118 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270118_LR_d33c49ea-3461-46a3-9c43-e6a8aeb66adc.jpg?v=1571611308 I wouldn’t pay all that for a dress while you’re still growing. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270119 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270119_LR_0df93c26-af62-49a8-a9e1-16da0f613c48.jpg?v=1571611308 Are these cornflakes biodegradable? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270120 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270120_LR_827a9ea5-0632-4fec-9f59-a869c1618f11.jpg?v=1571611308 I don’t want you bringing your domestic problems to work. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270121 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270121_LR_8ce2ea69-5d7e-46fb-9ff7-a95be99d1276.jpg?v=1571611308 Oh yeah? Well, I just may not be there when you get home! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270122 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270122_LR_d2ada3b4-9879-444c-a9b5-89f8fb64ff13.jpg?v=1571611308 Our luggage is in Greece. We might as well go there. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270123 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270123_LR_fabac8b3-d355-406e-a8ed-2478822d0671.jpg?v=1571611308 I’m a masculinest. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270125 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270125_LR_dc6c8bdc-f7e5-48d0-98fc-ca6a38da30e2.jpg?v=1571611308 Can’t you read? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270126 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270126_LR_c7f63e58-3f10-490b-a508-a46de60e4eb5.jpg?v=1571611308 He’s been teaching me to drive. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270127 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270127_LR_90203f9b-2b35-4c4e-9b07-3e472527efa6.jpg?v=1571611308 Just been to see his schoolteacher. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270128 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270128_LR_e50d32cd-9c8e-4522-aa40-44c10c6aa057.jpg?v=1571611308 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270129 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270129_LR_fe02412b-ca1c-4230-a045-51c60a8817a7.jpg?v=1571611308 Did you say ‘grease’ or ‘cheese’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270130 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270130_LR_c020df71-de3b-47a3-bba0-817e400edd7b.jpg?v=1571611308 Go ahead! I’ll only bleed all over your new rug. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270201 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270201_LR_507a3e95-e4ba-41f6-bcea-f796d9c58304.jpg?v=1571611308 If she’s a genetic reject, how come I have to chase off all the young guys around here with a stick? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270202 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270202_LR_ea043ae6-4a8f-4285-b977-d00a46dea579.jpg?v=1571611308 I can let you have those for half price. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270203 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270203_LR_35c5387d-1f22-452b-90db-7aa54f0ce4a0.jpg?v=1571611308 Have you got that book, ‘How to Be Six Feet Tall Under Hypnosis’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270204 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270204_LR_feaeea33-2362-400d-9669-f4f4c3f8d0a7.jpg?v=1571611308 I’ve lost the keys to my house. Can I live here? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270205 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270205_LR_440a7bbb-f668-4e42-8654-4fc1b6ed7094.jpg?v=1571611308 I’d say that was just about a total eclipse, wouldn’t you? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270206 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270206_LR_8871fcc8-0ba1-47f2-a4a0-471663492a60.jpg?v=1571611308 So then I said, ‘The turning point in the women’s movement came when some guy invented the automatic transmission.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270208 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270208_LR_f61603f8-f66b-4a72-b342-3794d3ce2b96.jpg?v=1571611308 It’s not even on the map. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270209 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270209_LR_a02fca10-90f9-460d-ace7-8fef61da010e.jpg?v=1571611308 Nurse, can we get some chairs over here?! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270210 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270210_LR_7e80e524-9f26-4cf2-a1e9-8fd5ad370747.jpg?v=1571611308 He’s not very sociable. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270211 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270211_LR_ca65daea-8a71-4157-b404-89025260ecab.jpg?v=1571611309 Is your Mommy home? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270212 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270212_LR_8e220727-cbfa-433a-974a-a84b057c3f77.jpg?v=1571611309 Dirty-dine. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270213 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270213_LR_1a395892-f61c-45a2-933b-519abe9279a5.jpg?v=1571611309 And, of course, this model does have the folding bicycle. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270215 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270215_LR_bbe0f305-a1d6-4ce4-9f9e-e88c02b95447.jpg?v=1571611309 I don’t care where you’re from, I’m trying to read! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270216 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270216_LR_8b0da394-215d-44d3-a428-4dc10e8dfdad.jpg?v=1571611309 I’ve decided to give you another chance. Next time case the joint first. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270217 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270217_LR_afd6645f-08ce-4aed-a19b-3733523e4013.jpg?v=1571611309 Come back and see me in two weeks, and don’t wear that tie. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270218 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270218_LR_eda5bb8f-474e-45bc-b3e4-943bd44d7e61.jpg?v=1571611309 Pin these up in the kitchen and we won’t have any mistakes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270219 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270219_LR_c941c8ef-2ea5-4dd6-ba2a-4be00d752d4b.jpg?v=1571611309 Five bucks if you start practicing your violin. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270220 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270220_LR_c11d62e2-55f1-4f1b-8a17-613071753750.jpg?v=1571611309 You MUST have overfilled it! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270222 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270222_LR_49936b49-2749-414b-b16c-906c7ddc5934.jpg?v=1571611309 Please fasten your seatbelt. We’re expecting a little turbulence. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270223 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270223_LR_1b1daefc-0eda-40f2-a12d-01e39a8548b0.jpg?v=1571611309 What’s it like, being inside there? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270224 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270224_LR_8f091597-56ed-4aac-acb1-8759da5f6a35.jpg?v=1571611309 Bend your knees. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270225 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270225_LR_6c634696-06ea-4937-ba2b-bae0e334b0f6.jpg?v=1571611309 It’s my birthday! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270226 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270226_LR_756b0b6d-5fc1-4ba4-9bd1-b7376c63f002.jpg?v=1571611309 You don’t remember me, do you? I lent you 50 cents in high school. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270227 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270227_LR_45a89b75-b961-4111-aa73-dc2a54bb42a7.jpg?v=1571611309 I told you we should have brought the earth buggy! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270301 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270301_LR_a0424f75-e4bf-4b2c-832f-e912ea45ced5.jpg?v=1571611309 I’m putting this one through law school. He’ll get you out. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270302 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270302_LR_b2946092-4510-4b34-9c18-49e1334e55c4.jpg?v=1571611309 One size fits all. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270303 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270303_LR_0bbcc3d4-f65c-4197-a2cd-b19d556780e8.jpg?v=1571611309 My ex-husband said he’ll pay for our wedding and the honeymoon. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270304 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270304_LR_bba96930-eb93-4f82-a93e-6920f9c5db64.jpg?v=1571611309 What about a moat? Do you want to buy a nice moat? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270305 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270305_LR_ebd86594-3ac9-43bf-a89d-ceb4ffd71a0e.jpg?v=1571611309 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270306 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270306_LR_8b8a19d4-f90b-47a8-a4ae-62d715a83c03.jpg?v=1571611309 I don’t want to ruin your day Herman but tomorrow morning I want to see you in my office. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270308 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270308_LR_524a2275-ca4f-4b14-94e4-5619f4823acc.jpg?v=1571611309 I found your cell phone. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270309 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270309_LR_8fe23936-2f72-4e5f-b153-7fb771f6fcaa.jpg?v=1571611309 I heard you say, ‘There’s some old bat waiting’! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270310 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270310_LR_6fa023fc-4cbd-4d8e-9cfe-1c7bfa753413.jpg?v=1571611309 In time of war, they could drop you behind the enemy lines with that frying pan. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270311 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270311_LR_2fab7c08-757b-4cf9-b11f-30a637504c9a.jpg?v=1571611309 He loves a game of squash. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270312 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270312_LR_8e14c096-1715-42d0-8aed-47acc514defe.jpg?v=1571611309 Next time we’ll get a taller plumber. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270313 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270313_LR_5360587d-6706-4573-94a7-0df7dabae2ac.jpg?v=1571611309 Did I get it? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270315 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270315_LR_99965c4a-eda6-437a-9fc0-ec1cd97ef08a.jpg?v=1571611309 I really look forward to your visits. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270316 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270316_LR_7a7544ae-6b65-436c-8e83-f585d9be9566.jpg?v=1571611309 They’re gonna settle out of court. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270317 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270317_LR_0b0c8305-13f0-43e6-a77b-51ba32a4d70a.jpg?v=1571611309 Take these and phone me right away if they work. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270318 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270318_LR_48631113-0c44-4136-bfb9-73216c8b5090.jpg?v=1571611309 Well, if it’s the wrong number, why did you answer the phone, you idiot? Now I’ve lost my coin. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270319 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270319_LR_39d46368-eef7-4785-a7fa-4a02093c4ae0.jpg?v=1571611309 I can’t find my glasses, so keep still. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270320 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270320_LR_db336b02-c9f0-4cd0-bc58-b24520cc5f92.jpg?v=1571611310 You have to do your own dishes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270322 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270322_LR_241851e6-b188-49c6-9da8-a57176ee81c5.jpg?v=1571611310 I want to see that new bookkeeper who started last Monday. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270323 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270323_LR_2c2ea749-17c4-4728-87b5-99b923f094aa.jpg?v=1571611310 OK! As it’s our 25th anniversary, I’ll make the coffee. Where d’you get the water from? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270324 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270324_LR_d00be0b0-73ab-4156-89d1-602939a9f102.jpg?v=1571611310 You said you wanted dinner served in 10 seconds. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270325 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270325_LR_f0861606-41ca-463d-8d6f-394a20a88362.jpg?v=1571611310 Mildew, I know you like fruit, but you’re supposed to test one apple and one grape. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270326 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270326_LR_378d771e-961a-4f1c-97d0-8c690e11dba8.jpg?v=1571611310 Ambulance or not, you left the scene of an accident. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270327 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270327_LR_6518687b-d795-4673-84d8-3fe5400e5bfa.jpg?v=1571611310 Will you try to look as if you’re enjoying this… I’m trying to make a living here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270329 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270329_LR_f912e33e-8afb-4c68-bb27-6146856f5528.jpg?v=1571611310 I’ve been operating on a malpractice lawyer all morning. Look at my hands shaking! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270330 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270330_LR_42f79265-f914-46d1-8632-b71516658527.jpg?v=1571611310 He can’t come to the phone. He’s busy watching television. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270331 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270331_LR_4905bbe5-2667-45e2-96b9-6cd6c53471d9.jpg?v=1571611310 She’s the only one who can eat her own cooking. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270401 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270401_LR_a8a4721e-954b-4dfb-bb6e-a8b13ec2a420.jpg?v=1571611310 Do you want the 75 cents or not? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270402 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270402_LR_236692cf-538a-43f2-87d9-cd010d14bd57.jpg?v=1571611310 Got any fire extinguishers? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270403 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270403_LR_ca47b054-6da6-4e56-8914-d1aa610cc3c5.jpg?v=1571611310 So anyway, we got a date with these two French waitresses… https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270405 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270405_LR_be2e104f-b732-43be-888d-32bec664f915.jpg?v=1571611310 Muriel has agreed to marry me again, provided I continue her alimony payments. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270406 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270406_LR_83be23b0-cbd3-4346-b7ee-92e5963a8234.jpg?v=1571611310 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270407 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270407_LR_ee275ffd-24d5-468b-b84f-d8dc857f1006.jpg?v=1571611310 About 150 miles. What about you? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270408 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270408_LR_35ee0025-bbf4-4c75-9a58-09f86af59e9b.jpg?v=1571611310 It’s undercooked! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270409 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270409_LR_cd9f7705-37cd-4d7b-9e03-e6b188ca1aa9.jpg?v=1571611310 Muriel, I want her out of the car. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270410 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270410_LR_9d1da182-e456-48d4-9552-1643fb79dfd7.jpg?v=1571611310 Tourist or not, sir, I shall need to see a valid fishing permit. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270412 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270412_LR_1ecb5c69-8500-439a-bb83-29c0b75270c3.jpg?v=1571611310 Let me write you a check for the other 40 cents. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270413 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270413_LR_18f02188-e5de-43cf-878e-189c5d655155.jpg?v=1571611310 He’s been like that for three days after hitting his thumb with a hammer. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270414 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270414_LR_126f3365-3872-461f-8c91-548da34af495.jpg?v=1571611310 Chest, fifteen and three-quarters. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270415 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270415_LR_a5036912-c7c2-4bf2-9d8e-cf68f7aa06e5.jpg?v=1571611310 I never use this brand myself. I find it makes my skin dry. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270416 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270416_LR_f0ab6782-4062-47d6-8ee4-0dd78d7a369e.jpg?v=1571611310 I guess your job’s safe for a few more weeks. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270417 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270417_LR_493b0cd3-20df-46f9-9e77-121cf4310bb9.jpg?v=1571611310 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270419 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270419_LR_93178442-1e5c-4ad4-9f7e-afa83173c716.jpg?v=1571611310 I’m not going through this every time you go jogging. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270420 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270420_LR_e90a040d-ae90-4adc-b555-a4de775fdf36.jpg?v=1571611310 D’yer ever feel you’re on the verge of an incredible breakthrough? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270421 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270421_LR_ab24a006-24c2-40ab-a591-5feed18759af.jpg?v=1571611311 Sorry I left during your sermon. I was sleepwalking. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270422 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270422_LR_6cff9c00-60b1-437c-9a10-a34c12032954.jpg?v=1571611311 Disgusting! Look at the size of her bathing suit. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270423 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270423_LR_e613c09e-8fe0-4f39-8e0c-ea9a5c105e1e.jpg?v=1571611311 Do you want a cup or a mug? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270424 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270424_LR_022bfb48-d31a-4462-861b-e8a2a811f49c.jpg?v=1571611311 How big are your safety deposit boxes? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270426 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270426_LR_5ad9e39b-513f-4df1-be73-af4655ceeedf.jpg?v=1571611311 I haven’t forgotten what you said to me last month. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270427 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270427_LR_fd9b0e4c-2d6d-4af5-9124-fc59c30d340a.jpg?v=1571611311 You’re not getting enough calcium. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270428 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270428_LR_a7ffdfcf-d121-4f11-ae3f-268761d034ec.jpg?v=1571611311 Don’t bother to leave a tip. I had one of your sausages. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270429 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270429_LR_8f777ead-75ef-4f61-a261-8dad4e5c75d9.jpg?v=1571611311 It’s not my fault. I thought it was ‘indigestion’! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270430 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270430_LR_178d5396-c9c3-4b12-b441-ff2bf2b65e4e.jpg?v=1571611311 Alcoholics Annonymous called… since you’ve been on ‘Park Patrol’, they’ve tripled their membership! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270501 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270501_LR_038fd1fa-0af0-4274-8489-dfd68102f7fb.jpg?v=1571611311 She wants to know why her airbag didn’t pop out. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270503 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270503_LR_f06bab3e-684f-41b9-a44c-e85c2d71e91e.jpg?v=1571611311 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270504 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270504_LR_35ed57e4-731f-4600-8ca3-fbcfc2fa50b5.jpg?v=1571611311 Looks like they hit the supply wagon. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270505 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270505_LR_2ddd10c1-3196-44ca-bec7-6517a14d0f17.jpg?v=1571611311 Maybe you’re allergic to shellfish. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270506 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270506_LR_bc7007ea-1035-420b-9089-f2f220b2f96a.jpg?v=1571611311 I’m a parolee. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270507 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270507_LR_1b560203-01a0-4a1d-961d-b97e093b0c39.jpg?v=1571611311 The baptism was 3 o’clock. We were definitely ahead of the wedding. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270508 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270508_LR_199d7deb-0b92-47f3-8df6-827cb5450650.jpg?v=1571611311 The meat caught fire, fell in the dessert, and I had to put it out with the soup. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270510 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270510_LR_d2689074-a5a0-402d-b1ae-7b7225a11da5.jpg?v=1571611311 I’m not getting help! I told you it wouldn’t like pickled onions. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270511 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270511_LR_bc4f483e-cac8-4386-85a9-899a577ee899.jpg?v=1571611311 You’ve got some nerve! You want a $500 loan and your’re not even groveling! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270512 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270512_LR_a5ed9588-630a-492c-b451-417c349e02f2.jpg?v=1571611311 How come I get a different driving instructor every week? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270513 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270513_LR_4bab8524-08b0-4a90-a59f-a6e8d674fb95.jpg?v=1571611311 I told you he wouldn’t eat that ice cream. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270514 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270514_LR_69aa6dec-956f-49a0-93cd-73a2484b462a.jpg?v=1571611311 Is stick-up one word? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270515 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270515_LR_16a02b7e-a115-420e-b1ed-7e9ed8d3f28a.jpg?v=1571611311 I’ve got seven brothers and five sisters. Can’t you get them on the jury? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270517 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270517_LR_4e1a97a1-df58-4c06-9543-3f279e06ea1e.jpg?v=1571611311 YOU wanted home-cooking! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270518 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270518_LR_08594bbf-3fa8-475d-aff9-9bb992ee4eab.jpg?v=1571611311 Got it! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270519 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270519_LR_e3ef698a-f8cd-4500-b9f2-7ebc6fb72a23.jpg?v=1571611311 Well, how’d ya make out on your first solo flight? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270521 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270521_LR_1ba13db7-47ff-407a-93e1-2b523939d25c.jpg?v=1571611311 Money or good looks attract me. I’d say you’d need about $15 million. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270522 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270522_LR_eedd0fcf-8308-4a8a-9d23-017ea06c4e58.jpg?v=1571611312 Well, if you didn’t rob the bank, how are you gonna pay my fee to prove your innocence? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270524 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270524_LR_7d9ce78b-2f53-4c87-b26e-bacee93b0d74.jpg?v=1571611312 I think I’m gonna need a couple of days off sick. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270525 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270525_LR_9d944d48-0303-4adf-8d87-e458b2a19e48.jpg?v=1571611312 She makes her own clothes! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270526 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270526_LR_aa788564-be96-484c-b525-3751f62dc7f7.jpg?v=1571611312 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270527 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270527_LR_5a0f5e61-2331-41d6-9a18-745b826e78b0.jpg?v=1571611312 Hi. I’m your new neighbor. I’m divorced, so don’t be surprised if I’m always over here around mealtimes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270528 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270528_LR_b0b5cd7a-7e6b-4cc4-87ce-1654ec7156fb.jpg?v=1571611312 I’ve got a very sensitive nose. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270529 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270529_LR_4f49157b-eaff-4529-a909-48d36c4577ec.jpg?v=1571611312 Gimme a break. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270531 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270531_LR_df5287a4-11a6-4de1-bd19-056508230e05.jpg?v=1571611312 Nurse, where did we get those nitro-glycerine tablets? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270601 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270601_LR_e155a720-7e64-4d8c-aad7-499f69b8d786.jpg?v=1571611312 I can’t face the next thousand years without my cup of coffee. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270602 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270602_LR_415790db-4072-421d-8a2f-85856c6e8b2b.jpg?v=1571611312 Don’t get too close. Remember what happened at the zoo. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270603 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270603_LR_68adb705-8ddd-4ff6-93eb-2c82120b4edd.jpg?v=1571611312 Can I eat half of all I can eat for $3.50? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270604 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270604_LR_07008642-7632-4168-8645-f825ede6ff67.jpg?v=1571611312 Follow the blue line. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270605 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270605_LR_5cb2a3c0-87b8-4dd6-bdf6-9e5c7bebf312.jpg?v=1571611312 I’m sure you three will be pleased to hear I’m agreeing to your 15% pay demand. 5% each! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270607 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270607_LR_4697e5fd-c5b7-47f7-821c-5b0fa4778e8d.jpg?v=1571611312 One-two-three-THROW, four-five-six-DUCK. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270608 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270608_LR_3075b481-acda-48ba-94d7-53cf7b211214.jpg?v=1571611312 My cousin, Irene, knows a good lawyer. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270609 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270609_LR_110e24fe-9232-4dba-a9fc-646a02dd9eb1.jpg?v=1571611312 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270610 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270610_LR_42b0abc3-8395-439e-aa75-dec2be2563f3.jpg?v=1571611312 Open your mouth. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270611 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270611_LR_678c49f6-549a-4bdb-a9a7-756cf974a695.jpg?v=1571611312 He said I don’t need glasses! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270612 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270612_LR_3b6befc8-6f30-4fdf-8e91-4547a82a8fe1.jpg?v=1571611312 Oh, great! I give you $50 for your birthday and you spend $5,000. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270614 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270614_LR_2066fadf-93b1-4d50-993e-e5ecb06a4492.jpg?v=1571611312 Three coffees to go. Here’s the address. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270615 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270615_LR_59f66638-1544-4d1a-b52d-dda641a5f369.jpg?v=1571611312 Can I kiss one of the bridesmaids instead? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270616 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270616_LR_afb2c6db-f065-43b5-a9f8-ffc5a5390fe5.jpg?v=1571611312 See what happens when you can’t make up your mind!… ‘an illegal U-turn!’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270617 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270617_LR_bc8728d8-6561-436e-8e96-c04bfbfd2a24.jpg?v=1571611312 They let him come home, but he has to watch his blood pressure. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270618 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270618_LR_91fc3d2e-8b63-42c1-9e9f-f1bfcbc985be.jpg?v=1571611312 My hook’s stuck! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270619 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270619_LR_c2d1bba3-56f0-4ef2-8507-a2ec5b3af3d4.jpg?v=1571611312 I see you having a big fight with your wife. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270621 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270621_LR_abeb2cf4-2ab7-4ecd-bec8-b689fa1d41d8.jpg?v=1571611312 You again! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270622 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270622_LR_5cad444a-0b0a-4555-8a56-467d43df4415.jpg?v=1571611312 His dermatologist told him to stay in the shade. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270623 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270623_LR_e935043f-ea55-4c22-8f85-13be3f7b5341.jpg?v=1571611312 It’s my first day. I thought this was the staff canteen. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270624 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270624_LR_49da0fde-1b12-41d8-8a6a-f2fc1d815976.jpg?v=1571611313 If we’re each paying for our own, I’ll have an order of toast. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270625 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270625_LR_e1c0b495-46ca-4f47-baf9-2002db98a540.jpg?v=1571611313 The only lead we’ve got on the guy who grabbed your wallet and ran off is that he’s probably an Olympic gold medalist. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270626 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270626_LR_1ab3ce72-4909-46c7-b396-36d17da9f204.jpg?v=1571611313 You’ve got one hope… reincarnation. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270628 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270628_LR_6af08aec-61a8-49d7-860c-b2ed9b899d99.jpg?v=1571611313 Mildew, don’t think I haven’t noticed your little trips to the flea market. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270629 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270629_LR_d3b0a0c1-a671-4457-8261-76bc943015de.jpg?v=1571611313 I’ll have a glass of water; preferably from this year. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270630 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270630_LR_86a27a7d-b38d-4251-a42c-8f312243cc22.jpg?v=1571611313 Well, at least she got it out of her system. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270701 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270701_LR_fe3c459c-5a07-405b-84f0-a1bcaba7d40b.jpg?v=1571611313 This is our most inexpensive recliner. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270702 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270702_LR_8265b87c-e081-474f-8973-b076fbcc6840.jpg?v=1571611313 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270703 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270703_LR_b0d62c21-9f3f-4f5a-af57-9721f8377372.jpg?v=1571611313 I think I’ll wear it like this. Then you won’t have to keep reminding me how much it cost. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270705 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270705_LR_abf67b1f-a35e-43d3-a7e4-e8e4eef5a9d7.jpg?v=1571611313 You’re eating too much sugar. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270706 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270706_LR_2c0fe7c4-d1aa-4cff-8178-745b5cca5d3e.jpg?v=1571611313 Can you get married and find seven dependents by September? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270707 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270707_LR_0e270692-83f9-44cc-9f36-7b6ae98ff656.jpg?v=1571611313 I wish you wouldn’t eat cookies in bed. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270708 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270708_LR_d7723618-59ec-4665-bdb7-52250e0c1b18.jpg?v=1571611313 Her previous three marriages didn’t work out. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270709 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270709_LR_e57b81de-6bdf-4c81-a627-87e3aaca63a9.jpg?v=1571611313 Be careful on those basement stairs. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270710 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270710_LR_be8c21b3-50ef-43dd-9bf5-db80ed23c7d2.jpg?v=1571611313 American Idol being watched by American Idle. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270712 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270712_LR_76311da6-3a35-41de-a5d0-4e0511866159.jpg?v=1571611313 Do you know Microsoft Office? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270713 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270713_LR_46d0c1d5-64f8-41eb-bd04-cdfbfa26e6dc.jpg?v=1571611313 We’re running tests, but we think you’re from another planet. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270714 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270714_LR_d5571be3-6aa4-43a8-ba7c-0954fdd834fd.jpg?v=1571611313 You said your last checkup was in 1968? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270715 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270715_LR_3364987d-7da4-401b-abed-563c3ad78cf8.jpg?v=1571611313 That slogan was your idea, wasn’t it Parker? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270716 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270716_LR_d42d17e6-35cc-423c-acfc-f3905ce1d5ca.jpg?v=1571611313 See, I got an ‘A’ in ‘Hip-Hop Appreciation’. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270717 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270717_LR_e3f067c1-e65b-4e95-9060-6ad3246c6cf1.jpg?v=1571611313 There’s a new type of butter called ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Margarine.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270719 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270719_LR_9d76ca1c-f686-40b6-bd73-c410a7a44805.jpg?v=1571611314 Mildew, can you work an hour’s overtime tonight? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270720 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270720_LR_c7cb669f-2b27-4fa9-9d6f-040c401acf3c.jpg?v=1571611314 It was a pure accident. He was trying to cut my credit cards in half. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270721 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270721_LR_f9c323ff-1540-40c7-8f29-11ee9e86a3aa.jpg?v=1571611314 What are you, blind? You hung it upside down! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270722 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270722_LR_2568fcb5-2a71-4e5c-ab19-2a9d380bde4c.jpg?v=1571611314 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270723 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270723_LR_e2c83ca6-5dc4-4016-8fd9-2ff5170577ae.jpg?v=1571611314 You’re certainly a front-runner for the store detective job. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270724 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270724_LR_715fd672-47a7-453b-b742-f193417d077c.jpg?v=1571611314 My personal computer just told me to mind my own business! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270726 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270726_LR_d03c2247-1efb-4acf-be9a-150df2d4b77d.jpg?v=1571611314 Is that the jacket your grandson bought you for your birthday? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270727 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270727_LR_e5c702da-6a70-4de3-b9e3-39d219c42aa4.jpg?v=1571611314 Whaddya mean, ‘I burnt the oatmeal!’… that’s your coffee! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270728 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270728_LR_802a80ec-1123-4a0b-bbb0-0cef2d67fde9.jpg?v=1571611314 I forgot you ordered mash potatoes, so I mashed your french fries. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270729 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270729_LR_f0db633e-404e-44d2-b842-194a9c06b61b.jpg?v=1571611314 When did I ever bully you at school? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270730 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270730_LR_07a46df1-32db-4368-b75f-40045d1427b4.jpg?v=1571611314 What’s wrong with this door? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270731 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270731_LR_0aced6f1-c36c-42a4-92b3-ca810399e2de.jpg?v=1571611314 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270802 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270802_LR_eaff82cd-a967-47cc-beaf-ae6c17b575e7.jpg?v=1571611314 One of everything. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270803 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270803_LR_29116b35-cf3d-4719-9bfd-16d0cf8a114e.jpg?v=1571611314 Now, why on earth wouldn’t you tell me you were allergic to penicillin? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270804 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270804_LR_917325f4-0d25-479a-80b0-5701ed90d2ed.jpg?v=1571611314 What a coincidence! You forgot my birthday and I forgot how to cook. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270805 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270805_LR_e60d394d-67d8-42ec-bfb5-c5d3754ad78a.jpg?v=1571611314 Don’t play around with the seat. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270806 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270806_LR_6722044e-2f21-4bb8-94c1-f0f9e12d4ae3.jpg?v=1571611314 I want to report a missing husband. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270807 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270807_LR_ddecc179-d915-4a86-86a1-4fe9948472d7.jpg?v=1571611314 I ran out of the long buns. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270809 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270809_LR_42785d4c-28ca-4ab9-8f13-b7ea64dfc165.jpg?v=1571611314 Got any clothes with the initials ‘GH’ on them? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270810 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270810_LR_497a17db-f323-4ceb-bdd5-58cbc8811553.jpg?v=1571611314 Is there any truth to the rumor that you’re thinking of retiring from the ring? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270811 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270811_LR_c32da19a-3cc2-4d87-82eb-0b6098c4aaff.jpg?v=1571611314 I got you a four-slice toaster. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270812 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270812_LR_dc8b5950-7889-498b-88c8-a337296a08d0.jpg?v=1571611314 I’ve got only $2 left. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270813 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270813_LR_a1a50eb5-13eb-43f3-8c2a-4445e5b931d2.jpg?v=1571611314 D’you get a lot of rain on your planet? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270814 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270814_LR_fd6a35e5-06ab-49eb-8711-6101c06c59d1.jpg?v=1571611314 How was I supposed to know you were in the shower when I flushed? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270816 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270816_LR_14e8ea4c-707f-4db4-af5d-644bfa66f3d7.jpg?v=1571611314 I told them I’d quit unless I got a bigger paycheck. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270817 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270817_LR_bf115a9a-f15b-42e5-ab14-81c0cb38bcdc.jpg?v=1571611314 Did you know that no two cornflakes are identical? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270818 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270818_LR_61732ff7-240c-4bdd-aea1-bd9a9760875b.jpg?v=1571611314 What part of the home did you put in these homemade cookies? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270819 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270819_LR_b610d72e-2b20-4fc3-979e-d37b191db0f3.jpg?v=1571611315 I always make him stand in the corner when he exaggerates. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270820 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270820_LR_05555c9f-c853-47d3-9b26-8c79da4fceac.jpg?v=1571611315 Sir, you’re changing in our display window. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270821 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270821_LR_2c3a5de8-75e3-41ad-a8ae-7d2ab774b7e2.jpg?v=1571611315 I never knew this had a ‘reverse’ switch! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270823 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270823_LR_b726dac9-ed9a-4197-87e3-aa160e198bd5.jpg?v=1571611315 I’m not going to listen to you if you keep calling me ‘paleface.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270824 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270824_LR_48d274d7-e868-4022-a480-626b9b1759aa.jpg?v=1571611315 He says he leaves you everything you left him… 38 bucks. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270825 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270825_LR_6686e26d-5a2b-4cff-ab81-5b14272f8f04.jpg?v=1571611315 We ate some of the bread on the way here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270826 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270826_LR_aeefe8d3-f93d-4f68-bec3-260360f9e90b.jpg?v=1571611315 What are you talking about, lumpy green coffee? That’s your soup! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270827 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270827_LR_085f19c7-1566-4f27-b1db-7e624269e3ca.jpg?v=1571611315 I’d like to wipe out my charge account debt entirely. Where do you want the furniture and appliances? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270828 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270828_LR_f7f280de-f3e6-4754-bd54-05c0da44a4b6.jpg?v=1571611315 I’m gonna pay my electricity bill while I’m here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270830 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270830_LR_8653a899-d7b9-46bd-a2c4-85bfeaaff3ee.jpg?v=1571611315 The judge looked at that new evidence I dug up and gave you another eight years. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270831 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270831_LR_690aeab1-53f8-4f30-9ec5-c4deca7f3fb3.jpg?v=1571611315 How much to the airport if I drive? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270901 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270901_LR_da9a9a54-9dfe-4355-99c6-8f7e0ffc37da.jpg?v=1571611315 What do you mean they want you to take an early retirement next Friday without your pension? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270902 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270902_LR_8dd72082-5ea2-4633-a463-40086e083af2.jpg?v=1571611315 I told you to use your putter. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270903 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270903_LR_0122bc58-5723-4bed-8535-025393791c57.jpg?v=1571611315 That’s just in case you drop him. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270904 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270904_LR_b05b4490-7798-4eec-b4e0-2f9f7a677d3a.jpg?v=1571611315 How many times have I told you about running in the corridors? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270906 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270906_LR_2a5474c6-eec0-43dc-88ff-5d23d3497bea.jpg?v=1571611315 That used to be my best subject. Ask me the capital of Spain. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270907 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270907_LR_f8e7ca91-3ae5-4e55-adf3-06aa31962e85.jpg?v=1571611315 I guess you heard what happened to me last month. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270908 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270908_LR_35c99323-9c9e-4e45-9b09-75c06f895de6.jpg?v=1571611315 This one’s been downgraded. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270909 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270909_LR_ad80f337-152e-4609-b5d9-8d8ca1d62b04.jpg?v=1571611315 Did you just change lanes under that truck? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270910 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270910_LR_89e66076-cc88-427d-a422-05675d879c79.jpg?v=1571611315 You’ll have to go back to town. I forgot the mustard. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270911 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270911_LR_e93d1fba-2263-4e09-8624-6bf1e21bb808.jpg?v=1571611315 Maybe I should let you drive from now on. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270913 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270913_LR_730ce87d-5c17-452a-bb5c-e644cf28f30b.jpg?v=1571611315 I hope you know your stuff. I’m a very weak swimmer. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270914 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270914_LR_32311a29-87d7-40d0-8325-5bd38b94d92c.jpg?v=1571611315 NO CAPTION, Bus Stop, Help https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270915 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270915_LR_9211f287-66e8-4f6f-a3e9-2f835d7838d8.jpg?v=1571611315 I think I’ll give it a shot on my own today, Bernie. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270916 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270916_LR_fef97bb5-b43c-4f05-98fa-16b337594df5.jpg?v=1571611315 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270917 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270917_LR_9c07d81e-ba7c-4e2d-bc46-de04238d0f59.jpg?v=1571611315 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270918 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270918_LR_1b819674-1d63-4c5b-a5f4-505cb7164b92.jpg?v=1571611315 I need a pair of dancing shoes with steel-toe caps. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270920 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270920_LR_45a17cec-ca81-4ae0-9f9d-f42bafc860ea.jpg?v=1571611315 OK, you can stop signaling now. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270921 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270921_LR_b1bb9bb6-d3f1-46ce-b2d4-ae2bb9ff8ff8.jpg?v=1571611316 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270922 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270922_LR_4596036d-6b04-457f-8107-10c07f04c64a.jpg?v=1571611316 I’ve got 86 dollars and 37 cents. Is that reasonable? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270923 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270923_LR_059ab891-575c-4929-9a58-1ef94b0aea42.jpg?v=1571611316 I’m only helping with the dishes ’til you get your pacemaker. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270924 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270924_LR_c5fb9cea-c303-485a-abab-54e9df8470a8.jpg?v=1571611316 This next one is called ‘Boats’, by my eldest boy, Derek. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270925 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270925_LR_8f7f9acb-e140-4ef6-a9b9-e305a1fa9968.jpg?v=1571611316 You didn’t have any money either when you married Mom! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270927 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270927_LR_47d853e6-7711-4aa6-8431-cca774ad4c62.jpg?v=1571611316 Let’s face it, Edgar, we’re growing apart. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270928 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270928_LR_a57b2b04-63c4-40ea-b523-1f7cbc97e1d2.jpg?v=1571611316 I can smell cigarette smoke! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270929 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270929_LR_01780142-2ac2-4d65-b13a-c33271790190.jpg?v=1571611316 Get going. I want a dollar’s worth around the neighborhood. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm270930 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM270930_LR_53b54e91-78b2-4507-ab02-9e0b4fba826b.jpg?v=1571611316 Not the whole bed, nurse, just his mattress. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271001 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271001_LR_32237a48-47dc-4268-a33b-19bd199633f4.jpg?v=1571611316 Double cheese, with ‘Happy Birthday’ in mushrooms. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271002 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271002_LR_bef73e71-ff75-48ff-a398-460aae508b28.jpg?v=1571611316 Is this the first time you’ve had your eyes tested? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271004 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271004_LR_97b9e9a6-bd90-4640-955b-ecd20791b244.jpg?v=1571611316 Our marriage was built on mutual trust and a lot of acting ability. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271005 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271005_LR_cede61bb-5a64-4f30-9be8-95aa30a6c864.jpg?v=1571611316 Does that look like a non-stick frying pan to you? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271006 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271006_LR_43870f3b-e155-43d2-b4ea-f3db99c4ea8a.jpg?v=1571611316 I told you the sand was hot. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271007 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271007_LR_a7e91215-9664-4444-a76f-44a20e5e4b49.jpg?v=1571611316 Get ‘em before they come in the house. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271008 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271008_LR_10f59be7-a8b9-4c1b-bf64-410d768c7834.jpg?v=1571611316 I just want to double-check your order before I go. You did say ‘Atlantic cod’, didn’t you? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271009 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271009_LR_dc8b53b3-dca7-44b4-a9dd-a5f75b654103.jpg?v=1571611316 This is the most expensive perfume I could find without my reading glasses. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271011 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271011_LR_e9418a99-9bac-4945-8d94-5a8a85c40dcc.jpg?v=1571611316 I’m not interested in excuses, Mildew. You’re four minutes late. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271012 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271012_LR_514c31b9-f337-4dbd-8339-9b1f920cd935.jpg?v=1571611316 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271013 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271013_LR_096de786-a579-4bd4-82e4-724bc8fcc2a1.jpg?v=1571611316 What is it this time? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271014 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271014_LR_a6eecd5d-998f-455a-b127-efe55bf62495.jpg?v=1571611316 If you’ve got cash, I’ll let it go for 30 bucks. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271015 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271015_LR_0be28149-f542-405d-bc33-474830c2c2e1.jpg?v=1571611316 My parents met through a computer dating service. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271016 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271016_LR_10e356dc-6b87-4088-8c98-582f4e13ad08.jpg?v=1571611316 Now get up to your room until you learn to act like a man. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271018 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271018_LR_365a022f-5ac5-40c2-b94a-5a14992903fd.jpg?v=1571611316 Looks like I’ll be playing the ninth hole and you’re playing the 13th. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271019 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271019_LR_659b9858-9c23-4c14-b368-dc08071c24e8.jpg?v=1571611316 How much are these orange and black ones? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271020 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271020_LR_ee4d1640-6b39-448d-af02-b6ad4764decf.jpg?v=1571611316 I showed him his bill. He wants his gallstones put back in. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271021 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271021_LR_751240e4-6e1f-46f0-aecc-8da12f30bbe0.jpg?v=1571611316 You should hear what she just called him! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271022 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271022_LR_977a4377-583f-4c32-a965-70dd011a5565.jpg?v=1571611316 It’s coming. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271023 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271023_LR_a455d959-aff3-4b7f-9a7a-56e81fcbb53f.jpg?v=1571611316 What about the ceiling in the Sistine Chapel? I’m getting sick of plain white. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271025 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271025_LR_ffb8877d-5df1-4560-bea5-92caa22a6069.jpg?v=1571611317 Take me to my house with a large pepperoni. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271026 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271026_LR_17f92cec-0dea-4eee-a69f-0564e8ec1b91.jpg?v=1571611317 Same time next week. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271027 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271027_LR_1d2265a9-750f-4a1f-bf49-bc28ee2114b1.jpg?v=1571611317 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271028 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271028_LR_68fd0c4e-8174-4792-91c9-8e375e3fba56.jpg?v=1571611317 Don’t worry if this credit card is reported stolen. It’s only my husband’s. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271029 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271029_LR_28a18020-7db2-41e5-b6fe-fe45c462363a.jpg?v=1571611317 Listen, I’d better go. That guy’s still waiting to get his clothes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271030 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271030_LR_c37cbd87-5373-4cdb-b265-cd7db3e0d1f6.jpg?v=1571611317 Why would anyone rent us a nine-bedroom house for $200 a month? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271101 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271101_LR_bc1c0335-f503-48f1-b4a4-39ece9a3d400.jpg?v=1571611317 I was showing my sister-in-law how I slammed his thumb in the car door. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271102 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271102_LR_4d20e5b7-3f6f-42d3-a114-dca9be7a6f16.jpg?v=1571611317 Grandpa, they’ve been arguing all afternoon about who’s going to get your pool table. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271103 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271103_LR_730f0468-2559-47ab-91e3-58e9c4b74f98.jpg?v=1571611317 I told you not to order ‘home fries’! The chef lives 20 miles away. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271104 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271104_LR_e76cd86f-6e75-436c-94d9-e6a53b5d364c.jpg?v=1571611317 Whadda you think of gun control? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271105 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271105_LR_d5567828-917b-4ef4-9963-2d50f16e7410.jpg?v=1571611317 I’m prescribing two coats of exterior latex. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271106 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271106_LR_90e86d85-2899-4d67-abca-5c0b27be3c7e.jpg?v=1571611317 Got any ‘get sick’ cards? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271108 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271108_LR_e9f191da-360f-4ce7-a4dd-eac8262e35dc.jpg?v=1571611317 No, no, no. Point to Africa on the globe. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271109 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271109_LR_3312452b-dad9-4059-9d04-75ce1fcd6ef4.jpg?v=1571611317 André, the usual two tables. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271110 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271110_LR_afe37505-9846-4027-af8e-dd7b369ade33.jpg?v=1571611317 So you dyed your hair and it turned green. You can’t spend the rest of your life in this bathroom. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271111 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271111_LR_f074c34f-3302-4346-be63-feb8fc7ec1f0.jpg?v=1571611317 I need a wrench and a snorkel. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271112 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271112_LR_52e6c2b4-1a9a-469b-9b2e-bbbd9d40f7fd.jpg?v=1571611317 He’s on a vegetarian diet… now he eats like an elephant. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271113 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271113_LR_6495bdf0-3b93-4c6c-8521-9e261cac675e.jpg?v=1571611317 It’s a very popular gift item for $15. We put a $95 price tag on it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271115 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271115_LR_9fe7fd50-f28c-4395-9863-e060f2f024b6.jpg?v=1571611317 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271116 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271116_LR_81f7a038-e6ee-422c-a741-683914ce469a.jpg?v=1571611317 No, no, no… STEAK, not snake! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271117 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271117_LR_0d45153a-97ad-4c71-88f6-e2c6f5497f79.jpg?v=1571611317 I’m in the dry-cleaning business. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271118 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271118_LR_9770a824-0978-4d8b-82e5-9e6b59ef6f42.jpg?v=1571611317 My wife thinks I’m in the shower. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271119 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271119_LR_f6494cf4-3d30-4f27-ba3e-eda88394bfb1.jpg?v=1571611317 Oh yeah… well next time you make a dress for your mother… get someone else. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271120 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271120_LR_384e474f-cd0b-47fc-b701-390f8390f62a.jpg?v=1571611317 Daddy, this is my new husband, Bernie. He’s a veterinarian. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271122 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271122_LR_284e06e2-8897-4490-9e22-65fc93814fb7.jpg?v=1571611317 Don’t get me any more of this roll-on deodorant. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271123 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271123_LR_c1378513-889d-484a-b549-6c82b9af7091.jpg?v=1571611317 It was yesterday. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271124 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271124_LR_557442fa-4433-400b-b562-31833a4f1b80.jpg?v=1571611317 Good grief! It IS you! Twenty years? I thought I recognized the suit. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271125 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271125_LR_8b7dcb18-8351-4b6a-9fdb-11234d711067.jpg?v=1571611317 Can’t you go faster? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271126 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271126_LR_ea606dc9-9396-4b43-ad67-09ef57701444.jpg?v=1571611318 The doctor says your cast can come off as soon as you’ve paid. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271127 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271127_LR_5db5e4b6-22a0-40f9-b42f-4f96e7cb777a.jpg?v=1571611318 Sorry, pal, you can’t come in here with a tie. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271129 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271129_LR_87b15fa6-97eb-4748-9956-2166207b7925.jpg?v=1571611318 It’s stew, but I put too much water in it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271130 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271130_LR_0221cd24-54c9-4080-9110-1043e5f581ca.jpg?v=1571611318 How are you gonna defend me if you can’t stop laughing? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271201 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271201_LR_8f41bb64-d10c-4117-ade3-a3b5cbc63e1b.jpg?v=1571611318 It’s a type of palm. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271202 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271202_LR_9a14505d-c4bf-4b59-b310-6de173b1a12d.jpg?v=1571611318 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271203 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271203_LR_fc6c4c2a-7ad7-4632-b629-c3a50f660bd5.jpg?v=1571611318 My wife won’t be here this week. She disappeared with the furniture last week. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271204 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271204_LR_70b043b2-9de0-4909-a36e-85a549df6814.jpg?v=1571611318 I’m not having you fall asleep at the wheel. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271206 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271206_LR_93520508-b3a3-420d-8895-d92abbd9c992.jpg?v=1571611318 You’re still mounting the sidewalk on turns. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271207 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271207_LR_9d19e74f-d478-40fb-972e-288fb03af436.jpg?v=1571611318 If you’re thinking of wishing me a happy birthday, it was LAST WEEK! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271208 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271208_LR_b5c2fcab-e40b-4bbb-a2d9-b3811d4c2220.jpg?v=1571611318 People couldn’t spell very good in those days. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271209 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271209_LR_f9497129-1e8f-4836-b09c-2fbbd8db192e.jpg?v=1571611318 Don’t nag. If you want the light out, say so! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271210 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271210_LR_0c92a7f2-ba7c-4ebb-9b4a-c14622eb1b27.jpg?v=1571611318 What exactly do you do around here, Mildew? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271211 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271211_LR_e5e75a86-02a2-43fb-9ba1-8e81a9dcbd64.jpg?v=1571611318 Don’t do it! Think of your wife and kids. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271213 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271213_LR_363309fc-9865-4abe-a58d-461a12421e8a.jpg?v=1571611318 No chain-smoking. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271214 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271214_LR_f28ac16f-cbee-401f-8df7-76f4963ec886.jpg?v=1571611318 I got a ticket for going the right way down a one-way street in reverse! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271215 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271215_LR_e25ecd48-02de-4e9a-921a-8c09baa0eec6.jpg?v=1571611318 It doesn’t have a reverse gear. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271216 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271216_LR_69968a43-4cec-4e54-b85d-219f729a5b9a.jpg?v=1571611318 I usually leave an extra $10 in my pocket on her birthday. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271217 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271217_LR_4413a146-c934-4cc9-8858-8d7cf68430ac.jpg?v=1571611318 Good King Wen-ces-las looked out… on the feast of Steeeephen… https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271218 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271218_LR_6d5cc087-e8bb-4266-8736-81b0005efac6.jpg?v=1571611318 I want to exchange these reading glasses for watching television glasses. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271220 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271220_LR_5515a668-0555-4b4b-a084-ea9b97b41973.jpg?v=1571611318 Go and open the front door while your mother’s cooking. I don’t want the fire department breaking it down with an ax. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271221 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271221_LR_93457e1c-b610-42e7-a4d1-95801dc97ee5.jpg?v=1571611318 All I said was, ‘I doubt if they’ll ever let him sing in the choir.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271222 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271222_LR_dcf3f38b-f221-4397-9ea4-1e697be3ea81.jpg?v=1571611318 You haven’t the remotest idea what to get me for Christmas, have you? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271223 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271223_LR_09198668-f9df-450e-b70a-fc84ac566b1f.jpg?v=1571611318 Walk on the inside. That’s the 10th time a cab has pulled over. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271224 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271224_LR_15d7d331-6326-4e3f-b085-2161592142a0.jpg?v=1571611318 Have you got anything for indigestion? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271225 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271225_LR_ab8ecef2-73b4-4bfd-bec2-0c8d83e3b1b2.jpg?v=1571611318 That was either Superman or dad falling off the roof. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271227 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271227_LR_91ad44dc-17fc-407c-bb14-e351898c047a.jpg?v=1571611318 Everybody except 7B close your windows. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271228 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271228_LR_c548da6a-a565-4b37-9833-810ffe35f208.jpg?v=1571611318 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271229 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271229_LR_cea0a04a-26ef-41df-974c-c900e936ede5.jpg?v=1571611318 The tow truck will be an hour. Why don’t we rotate the tires? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271230 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271230_LR_3e1fc08a-3152-4815-bc25-7ca61e89717c.jpg?v=1571611318 I always welcome new neighbors with one of my gooseberry pies… nine dollars. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm271231 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM271231_LR_f45008f1-ebf6-4fef-80ba-c55da75c9d2e.jpg?v=1571611318 What’s the get-well card for? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280103 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280103_LR_457cc88b-ae43-4b53-a7d9-b46c1d4ebb18.jpg?v=1571611319 Say, ain’t you that defector from Mars I been reading about in the paper? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280104 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280104_LR_05720423-a27f-4eb8-8a03-94a952b7aecb.jpg?v=1571611319 He’s put gravy in his water pistol. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280105 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280105_LR_50cbea7c-6319-4aef-8b77-47c4c66617d9.jpg?v=1571611319 He gets those sudden migraines. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280106 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280106_LR_74cf48f6-0795-4260-ba36-237e0bdf6e6c.jpg?v=1571611319 We’re waiting for a probation report, Your Honor. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280107 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280107_LR_5dca83a8-1574-4655-951d-2991ed4a82f3.jpg?v=1571611319 If she doesn’t show, d’yer wanna come to Niagara Falls? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280108 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280108_LR_fb8ff640-213d-4c7e-96ca-4634b4abe6a5.jpg?v=1571611319 When he was 6 years old, my father was kidnapped by headhunters and never seen again. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280110 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280110_LR_177c1dd6-20dc-494e-964f-f1ba20cef800.jpg?v=1571611319 Harold, you’ve got to learn to take ‘no’ for an answer. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280111 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280111_LR_d9e31cc6-68f3-42bb-b64b-e61dde6e7b1b.jpg?v=1571611319 Take one of these out every four hours. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280112 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280112_LR_65c00d7c-c981-4b0b-9069-10c7abbfe360.jpg?v=1571611319 All her payments are easy. She uses my money. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280113 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280113_LR_43338589-0905-4bb4-a8a8-39f641c7fc9f.jpg?v=1571611319 I gotta get new glasses. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280114 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280114_LR_573dcfc7-4ec6-4f36-893f-b1b99e054f5c.jpg?v=1571611319 We mark your ideal shape and the laser does the rest. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280115 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280115_LR_bad555ef-8989-4699-8e44-9829fffe3aee.jpg?v=1571611319 I believe patriotism is a good thing here, but not for people in foreign countries. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280117 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280117_LR_cc7dc60c-07d5-41ee-82d0-43eea3360715.jpg?v=1571611319 You wouldn’t believe the time I had getting this cake out of the oven! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280118 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280118_LR_beaef6c7-011a-43be-bb18-a6d04afe54e6.jpg?v=1571611319 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280119 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280119_LR_9a5d4a8f-1469-44f0-8230-c76f4d268cc9.jpg?v=1571611319 Where’s the changing room? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280120 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280120_LR_24823319-2bcb-41a6-91cf-331ae9187519.jpg?v=1571611319 I’d like to see him borrow this again! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280121 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280121_LR_3ea0151c-b19c-4df2-9e7f-0f898450cfb7.jpg?v=1571611319 Watch out… the plate’s hot. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280122 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280122_LR_95cbf59c-b030-4fb7-b5c1-7426ddbcbed0.jpg?v=1571611319 Her sister’s making 10 bucks a week. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280124 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280124_LR_6e05b341-b6f4-4a21-af8b-ec24afc0241c.jpg?v=1571611319 I can guarantee it won’t go frizzy with these babies. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280125 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280125_LR_230f5a3f-26a4-4249-91fd-886c5e36bd69.jpg?v=1571611319 She’s the opposite of ‘anorexic.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280126 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280126_LR_faa5611a-53de-475d-a94f-14d393cc1fc9.jpg?v=1571611319 This hammer keeps hitting two inches to the left. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280127 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280127_LR_60b30374-d0e0-40e5-a3fd-11b4736eeb14.jpg?v=1571611319 Just because we’re outnumbered 100 to 1 is no excuse for that kind of language! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280128 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280128_LR_c780996f-3f85-40fe-bce6-b977da9630c8.jpg?v=1571611319 What made you give up your last job as an electrician? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280129 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280129_LR_79d3cc0e-e618-44ae-971c-4165aafc1bf9.jpg?v=1571611319 Settle an argument. How do you pronounce his name? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280131 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280131_LR_5b15dbbf-e8b9-43ee-87f4-48ff6071ff4e.jpg?v=1571611319 I wish you wouldn’t put your teeth next to the alarm clock. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280201 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280201_LR_c18467a5-bf74-4000-8f36-142ecd83f851.jpg?v=1571611319 We offer the most limited warranty in town. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280202 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280202_LR_4b15d7a8-e9be-41a6-8094-f8d369e746cc.jpg?v=1571611319 I just started here today. I’ll come back at the end of the week. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280203 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280203_LR_c2e279fa-ea3c-4f7b-bdba-1cd3fa697724.jpg?v=1571611319 Who d’you think’s paying for all this? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280204 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280204_LR_0c3d8e3c-b41f-453e-bdbd-56821571d833.jpg?v=1571611319 Why are you looking in a book of gardening? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280205 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280205_LR_aaca0bbe-1032-41f7-a087-25c3056e973a.jpg?v=1571611319 All we have is twin, double and queen-size. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280207 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280207_LR_1578b0f6-2c7a-4746-a635-6315d5d0d302.jpg?v=1571611319 D’you believe this guy. That’s six times in a row he’s grabbed the check! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280208 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280208_LR_e9b2a57a-39ef-4ff3-b244-fd1529cfbeaf.jpg?v=1571611319 What we have here, Williams, is a breakdown in communication. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280209 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280209_LR_21229e80-f546-4398-80dd-f1584c2f21b1.jpg?v=1571611319 Smoking or non-smoking? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280210 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280210_LR_875c80e9-236e-48d6-8a23-f0445b6fbd53.jpg?v=1571611319 There’s one that needs trimming. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280211 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280211_LR_89440dc4-aeb4-47d9-b92b-9253166739be.jpg?v=1571611320 If it’s happy hour, give us seperate tables. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280212 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280212_LR_20f15a6b-e12a-4885-9dae-1ec6a4c408cc.jpg?v=1571611320 This was from his existentialist period. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280214 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280214_LR_87bb536d-18ac-41ae-9326-0af5d3f19afa.jpg?v=1571611320 We can’t buy this. It’s full of ingredients. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280215 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280215_LR_efbea897-4978-4456-9ef9-387f4e76e272.jpg?v=1571611320 Shouldn’t be more than ten minutes. He was in a locker at the airport. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280216 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280216_LR_6320e85f-0bb6-4b15-845e-bf0d86c6fdd4.jpg?v=1571611320 Where’s the men’s room? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280217 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280217_LR_18f6af8f-e72e-4e50-99f5-0723c33525ff.jpg?v=1571611320 You the guy with a fly in his soup? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280218 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280218_LR_1e444df1-b5bd-487f-9fed-b6544a9fab16.jpg?v=1571611320 I can’t stop. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280219 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280219_LR_db334139-c83d-4f90-9f82-d9967a370c71.jpg?v=1571611320 Didn’t you pay the cable TV bill? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280221 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280221_LR_d6575a8b-633c-427b-a5b8-a98f89172aa9.jpg?v=1571611320 You’ve been putting on damp clothing. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280222 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280222_LR_bc9ef978-3b53-431f-96aa-cf9fd94950ee.jpg?v=1571611320 We don’t have any! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280223 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280223_LR_79bc7d95-75d4-47ed-8801-c5ef1818ed44.jpg?v=1571611320 That’s their new tamper-proof package. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280224 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280224_LR_a5f38bae-e56b-4155-b98f-8a0d9e41e718.jpg?v=1571611320 Tell the manager I’m declaring bankruptcy. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280225 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280225_LR_c9d489ab-e26a-4351-af2d-a41fca926bcf.jpg?v=1571611320 Find out how much to fix it. Take it to three different toy stores. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280226 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280226_LR_0f4bf039-67e5-4bcd-bd9e-e9b3b0d4c464.jpg?v=1571611320 Table for two. Food for five. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280228 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280228_LR_d9e32d58-9356-4209-89d8-a5a55ffb63fb.jpg?v=1571611320 There’s no sense spending all our honeymoon money before we get there. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280229 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280229_LR_1d906694-86e0-431a-8a80-a7661cc036e3.jpg?v=1571611320 When I told you to count the pickled onions… https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280301 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280301_LR_e7454c72-c923-4033-a119-861789cc50de.jpg?v=1571611320 Take four aspirin and call me in the morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280302 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280302_LR_a71c9811-d0fa-476d-a96d-2afbb0edf55e.jpg?v=1571611320 Let’s see… one cup of coffee and one, two, three packets of sugar. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280303 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280303_LR_60bc9ede-8fd6-4c1e-8abc-72784dd320da.jpg?v=1571611320 They feel comfortable. What do they look like? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280304 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280304_LR_583cc3cb-65b0-45b9-8251-9c8a0b0bdce0.jpg?v=1571611320 No wonder that piano tuner wanted a $150! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280306 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280306_LR_b25bb77a-e578-4bd6-87ec-12eecd34b403.jpg?v=1571611320 His parents, grandparents, and each of his great-grandparents were all concert pianists. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280307 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280307_LR_22a65df0-5731-4ca2-867d-57477a7543d6.jpg?v=1571611320 Muriel, I told you this morning I’d be home late. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280308 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280308_LR_5a00137e-92e4-4443-83dc-ffe0971cee1e.jpg?v=1571611320 Thanks for a lovely party last night. I know George had a good time. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280309 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280309_LR_b0948b1a-2a48-4239-8250-56e7f1ef4b72.jpg?v=1571611320 He was very romantic when we first got married, but you know how they change. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280310 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280310_LR_b6471f58-cc73-4446-931b-006e23f733be.jpg?v=1571611320 You don’t have to stop at red lights. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280311 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280311_LR_f55217ac-d7b4-459a-a862-430d23f0eecf.jpg?v=1571611320 Oh, that’s nice. It says, ‘Our company took every precaution to see that the pig didn’t suffer.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280313 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280313_LR_ac74e1a4-430d-4fd0-91aa-10b43074e869.jpg?v=1571611320 We can’t complain. It’s their wedding anniversary. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280314 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280314_LR_ccf66d86-d13e-468c-a62c-9881dc1879dc.jpg?v=1571611320 Thirty days or $350? If it’s all the same to you, Judge, I’ll take the money. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280315 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280315_LR_68647e86-17e3-418c-bfe9-96104919b555.jpg?v=1571611320 They’ve cut the water off and I need some to cook the potatoes… https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280316 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280316_LR_2e467508-92ff-439f-8793-03c3eece4246.jpg?v=1571611321 The first number… is… five. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280317 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280317_LR_e9518f05-97d1-4408-b130-6a7ebd13ce04.jpg?v=1571611321 That’s fine! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280318 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280318_LR_9c9377db-cfd8-49cf-a0b0-4896a96f50e8.jpg?v=1571611321 This is the new man, Hawkins. Teach him everything you know, then pick up your severance check. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280320 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280320_LR_bb336984-a1a4-4293-b901-ab6713a94df9.jpg?v=1571611321 Come on… it’s not going to look like that on you. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280321 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280321_LR_2f79769e-8013-487d-8024-e0f834a19f61.jpg?v=1571611321 Does Dad know about this? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280322 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280322_LR_e245dedf-9837-4284-93b3-8836810f8ffa.jpg?v=1571611321 Your’s is under the sink. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280323 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280323_LR_56455c67-dd60-479e-a2c3-2ad00f118602.jpg?v=1571611321 He’s in the used car business. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280324 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280324_LR_ecb9ba0e-92b6-4d61-89aa-96c5695eec78.jpg?v=1571611321 When you go to the bank tomorrow, you should find an extra $50,000 in your savings account. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280325 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280325_LR_a254ce7c-099f-4872-9278-4151cbd09bee.jpg?v=1571611321 Whaddyer mean, ‘Don’t get mad at him’? He bought a diamond necklace for his girlfriend with my credit card! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280327 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280327_LR_33b76ee8-fe62-477d-834c-edf04d7b847c.jpg?v=1571611321 If you’ll allow me, sir, I’d recommend the cheese salad and a very substantial tip. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280328 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280328_LR_d95155b7-9eac-4d30-be36-73ff39eee1fb.jpg?v=1571611321 Maybe it was ivory poachers. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280329 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280329_LR_be8e005b-0353-4304-bf82-38c5e2819e0f.jpg?v=1571611321 How’s the water? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280330 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280330_LR_44fe3256-4dad-4ad1-8d9a-6ba301644d0e.jpg?v=1571611321 What’s this made of… soap? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280331 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280331_LR_9c3a25fa-d071-46b2-b418-8b3c6125c32e.jpg?v=1571611321 I’m sorry, but a snapshot of you at Niagara Falls is not my idea of proper identification. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280401 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280401_LR_102d2cc9-963a-4b7d-b249-c607322b41f3.jpg?v=1571611321 Someone’s been selling clarinets to the Indians. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280403 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280403_LR_e7426d8d-307e-48fe-a42b-48251a1870d8.jpg?v=1571611321 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280404 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280404_LR_619978f9-6e06-4ca5-86ae-6b95a194fc1d.jpg?v=1571611321 All right, all right. Fifteen years less 37 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280405 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280405_LR_a121108a-6610-47b0-b7c7-c22aaeff4551.jpg?v=1571611321 What’s my sponge cake doing in the bathroom? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280406 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280406_LR_1dbe833d-34aa-49a6-beb7-68b39c02b7bc.jpg?v=1571611321 Any luck today, Betty? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280407 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280407_LR_83944f4e-e2ea-439f-96ab-76017d6cdee0.jpg?v=1571611321 OK, but only until I find someone better. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280408 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280408_LR_6fa599e0-9941-4c29-a2a0-b6a7e450c1da.jpg?v=1571611321 I took my school report card in to get it framed and they lost it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280410 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280410_LR_7296e4e1-8da6-4e62-b65a-2423450b1394.jpg?v=1571611321 When are you people going to get that elevator fixed? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280411 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280411_LR_da60c830-b94a-4778-a372-c07c4d18f700.jpg?v=1571611321 You’re OK. How am I? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280412 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280412_LR_07448f8f-678f-4793-a43d-b86cdc475ccc.jpg?v=1571611321 Yes, we know what it is. We want to know where you got it! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280413 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280413_LR_9ca89509-735b-49fb-8e2d-263142cf5d1f.jpg?v=1571611321 You’ll have to return to your seat, sir… we can’t keep circling the airport. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280414 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280414_LR_b4c143fe-ca3b-4bbd-9eb2-5f8db456d1fb.jpg?v=1571611321 Modern technology… 47 floors in six seconds. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280415 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280415_LR_532c6601-5c5e-4a62-b0a1-2e457a143dd2.jpg?v=1571611321 I want you to take one of these every six months and come back and see me next Wednesday. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280417 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280417_LR_99345911-952b-4724-a593-021687c76250.jpg?v=1571611321 D’you want to look at the menu? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280418 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280418_LR_4f520c6b-bc67-4a39-8f16-70cf875d0d40.jpg?v=1571611321 Are you sure? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280419 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280419_LR_5cf12e47-9150-4b7d-ba14-e48ed59c7977.jpg?v=1571611321 We’re always looking for bright, young, intelligent guys like you. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280420 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280420_LR_8b65868e-b52b-4d85-b3c2-27bee186339f.jpg?v=1571611321 Did you have to tell the newspaper reporters I was 57? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280421 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280421_LR_1be96601-6a2e-4e55-bd69-68c942a3fbff.jpg?v=1571611321 Dimitri, ‘punch’ is a type of fruit drink. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280422 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280422_LR_ca3f15d9-0da1-4ba7-9a6b-62325f458015.jpg?v=1571611321 Is this 38 miles on the odometer genuine? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280424 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280424_LR_acdbeb94-9bc8-47a5-a17b-e3eae6fea971.jpg?v=1571611322 I can’t see him without an appointment! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280425 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280425_LR_99623b31-f990-4206-9e66-a4383719bd55.jpg?v=1571611322 Yes, yes, I know you were excited. But read it yourself. It says, ‘Head man wanted for branch office.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280426 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280426_LR_45b2f12c-f523-47db-8383-8f1c6fddbdc7.jpg?v=1571611322 Stand back if I catch anything. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280427 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280427_LR_32f9ab7d-1c32-46c7-bb26-97a00df0ebe6.jpg?v=1571611322 I’m so bad, I got a government grant not to paint anything. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280428 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280428_LR_987d6422-91c6-41d1-8cf5-dcdd80905833.jpg?v=1571611322 Just a moment, sir. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280429 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280429_LR_b36d6399-ae42-477d-9a66-09b25022110f.jpg?v=1571611322 I’ll have the same as yesterday… spaghetti and golf balls. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280501 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280501_LR_b02a2675-46cc-4101-9042-fb7862b26d6d.jpg?v=1571611322 How’s it going? I’d heard you quit your job at the bank. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280502 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280502_LR_2cc2ca3c-6beb-444d-b44f-0d864bbd24e1.jpg?v=1571611322 I don’t want to borrow any, I just want to look at some. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280503 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280503_LR_9012fae6-3540-4071-8af0-592985c8494f.jpg?v=1571611322 Sorry about all the noise, Mr. Robertson. The gentleman is here who invented the eight-foot television. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280504 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280504_LR_58b8f79d-908b-4ecc-87e7-7187d52d0a76.jpg?v=1571611322 Tell Eddie I found his pen. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280505 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280505_LR_afa1c793-7771-43df-83f8-1c063d36e565.jpg?v=1571611322 I don’t think I can read any of it. You’re holding it too close. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280506 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280506_LR_50dc223c-8746-4e14-b48c-657426a02608.jpg?v=1571611322 Two can live just as cheaply as one, Norman. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280508 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280508_LR_e85eed4e-6070-4a8f-b275-b41d23a9eec3.jpg?v=1571611322 Is the honeymoon suite equipped with a kitchen? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280509 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280509_LR_81d71d60-e5da-4628-b501-b9a965ac6f6f.jpg?v=1571611322 He was on a one-day strike at work today and nobody noticed. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280510 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280510_LR_09ed8d17-4898-47b9-91c1-34cc92d01818.jpg?v=1571611322 Bernie, old boy… my wife doesn’t believe I was with you last night. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280511 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280511_LR_c2304e44-bc84-4984-b080-cebee544b404.jpg?v=1571611322 Sure, you were good at it. You were there for most of it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280512 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280512_LR_ccf5537c-3fa0-4230-ba6b-d62e73f82db4.jpg?v=1571611322 They had a retirement party for me, and I was the only one not invited! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280513 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280513_LR_ae593765-0677-4601-9c70-c26187fc81b5.jpg?v=1571611322 This one was painted during the French Revolution. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280515 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280515_LR_64457661-8596-482e-b86d-4d59771e9854.jpg?v=1571611322 I’ve spent three bucks waiting for you! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280516 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280516_LR_c5d8689a-0a22-4b2b-aad8-026af98d93b8.jpg?v=1571611322 Eleven years ago he was told, ‘Don’t call us, we’ll call you.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280517 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280517_LR_43a6fb15-f0f3-4f24-a5c7-9a060c1a78c5.jpg?v=1571611322 It happened during one of those used-car-dealer commercials. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280518 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280518_LR_74abaf13-d007-4409-8eae-218ff9b98aac.jpg?v=1571611322 I’m sorry, sir, there’s no shaving in the restaurant. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280519 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280519_LR_ee05acfa-be44-4d87-ab82-5d420848f809.jpg?v=1571611322 You sat up in the middle of the night and shouted, ‘Rub two sticks together.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280520 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280520_LR_cb79bb70-6da0-4931-a85c-d52a673e52b6.jpg?v=1571611322 You’ve eaten all the nuts! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280522 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280522_LR_554cfe36-a977-4528-bb8c-fe1eacad078a.jpg?v=1571611322 I recommend 8-ounce gloves and protective headgear. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280523 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280523_LR_b83a3c64-1409-485e-bb13-1277325161fe.jpg?v=1571611322 GET THAT THING OFF MY COFFEE TABLE! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280524 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280525 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280525_LR_536a5168-ff92-47a6-8693-7abbfdb352ab.jpg?v=1571611322 Couldn’t you hear that phone ringing? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280526 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280526_LR_37c4205f-afec-42a5-b8ce-4c81d35cf504.jpg?v=1571611322 I can’t see it. Look in your pockets. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280527 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280527_LR_e736a0f2-55ee-4aed-b868-f713fd0444b1.jpg?v=1571611322 Want to see the wine list? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280529 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280529_LR_7496c4ab-9719-4605-a893-c4aa96c0c403.jpg?v=1571611322 Table by the window, please. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280530 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280530_LR_f7163e9e-3a49-4cf4-a328-1d090530efa8.jpg?v=1571611322 I’ve decided to try shock treatment. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280531 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280531_LR_0c5ffe9c-696e-4528-908a-6a03298ab057.jpg?v=1571611322 We’re not too happy with the caterers. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280601 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280601_LR_ee9355fc-4b40-4770-a00c-53e70dea80c3.jpg?v=1571611322 You knew it was today! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280602 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280602_LR_cfc5b162-caa9-4f8a-9cb9-a37322c6be4c.jpg?v=1571611322 Dad, we nearly caught a fish this big! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280603 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280603_LR_5a3c04fc-cb34-4592-bf7d-295399fe3cfa.jpg?v=1571611323 It’s got a little camera on the front of it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280605 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280605_LR_adca6884-39f2-43ba-92b4-06793e7147dd.jpg?v=1571611323 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280606 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280606_LR_c54c8f55-e498-4509-81a3-86c43d6312d3.jpg?v=1571611323 I’m not really overqualified. My resume is a pack of lies. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280607 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280607_LR_feb7454d-64ba-4918-aaba-61ed0c2450df.jpg?v=1571611323 It wasn’t your muffler. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280608 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280608_LR_ead24191-5177-4ba2-a6ee-66ad15b29423.jpg?v=1571611323 I can’t adjust the air conditioning. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280609 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280609_LR_b7cfe462-3ac9-4f9a-9c90-f5c3bddb06ca.jpg?v=1571611323 That too tight? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280610 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280610_LR_99c2d86c-0524-4b97-a58b-12c1c4b61b88.jpg?v=1571611323 D’you wanna tip me now? Then I’ll know what sort of service to give you. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280612 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280612_LR_f471325c-bdbd-45f1-b341-1c79d50f6e68.jpg?v=1571611323 I suppose you realize that behind your back Mom calls you ‘chicken legs.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280613 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280613_LR_0b4ea71a-6939-42ea-822a-97830f87a0f2.jpg?v=1571611323 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280614 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280614_LR_e8e91b1b-68b5-4adf-b38d-7b7e80b4a7f1.jpg?v=1571611323 If your name’s on this list, they’re all out. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280615 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280615_LR_0561afed-f0a5-4c19-8c29-b1be99b3a426.jpg?v=1571611323 It’s just until I get my brakes fixed. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280616 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280616_LR_e5d2f618-8709-4994-99f6-cb6b268391e0.jpg?v=1571611323 The little gray bits are non-stick frying pan. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280617 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280617_LR_9e8e5bd3-f5cd-41c3-ace7-79feaa398bfb.jpg?v=1571611323 They’re thinking of replacing the $20 bill with a coin. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280619 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280619_LR_a7f7374a-579a-40da-b160-69527b55384e.jpg?v=1571611323 I’m not late. I was giving you a little ‘wait training.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280620 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280620_LR_47924c44-2bfb-4b98-a9d1-bbdb8c9bbd1f.jpg?v=1571611323 You certainly don’t have to pay for a large pepperoni if you only ordered a medium. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280621 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280621_LR_36392fad-84c4-476c-b448-64857e692aa7.jpg?v=1571611323 She said she was on a diet and wiped out the salad bar. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280622 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280622_LR_5376ca3d-7987-4be7-9b7d-5727135318b5.jpg?v=1571611323 Rather than an extra $20 a week, how would you like to be managing director of filing? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280623 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280623_LR_6db7107b-e0f6-4aab-b919-95afa924fc16.jpg?v=1571611323 Who put in that crown? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280624 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280624_LR_54513a9e-bf82-4a86-95eb-928c90a0c418.jpg?v=1571611323 Freedom. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280626 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280626_LR_a3c5d44a-d455-41ae-a192-acc29a50362e.jpg?v=1571611323 Are you ‘Herbie’s Wonder Tonic’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280627 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280627_LR_429e6b8a-6443-48be-a193-37dd90d17fe8.jpg?v=1571611323 Did I hear you right? Did you just tell me I’m starting to put on weight? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280628 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280628_LR_8955a61c-8ae4-461c-9e87-3feaaf2406f4.jpg?v=1571611323 Henry, you’ve won a million dollars! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280629 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280629_LR_84c254bc-c841-4bdc-a814-e0fe8e47c9bf.jpg?v=1571611323 We pool our tips here. What’s 50 cents divided by 27? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280630 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280630_LR_304d3d14-ec64-4e18-bbd0-64c7eb7470ba.jpg?v=1571611323 A little dessert, not a little desert. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280701 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280701_LR_18293d75-86e0-413a-a6fe-1f83e21fd88b.jpg?v=1571611323 How can I pull it out without touching it? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280703 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280703_LR_e0dd1b8f-33e1-4616-9458-3d1cb41de9a8.jpg?v=1571611323 You say you’ve got a ringing in your ears… https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280704 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280704_LR_a9222426-7c84-45a6-9e38-c2170c195552.jpg?v=1571611323 Don’t take any of these red pills, and if that doesn’t work, don’t take any of the blue ones. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280705 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280705_LR_eaa0a318-9d3f-4d74-b23f-115373525851.jpg?v=1571611323 Get down, Robert. Remember you’re an accountant. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280706 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280706_LR_e7b693f0-5d14-4142-ac75-85e278b940c6.jpg?v=1571611323 Each hour. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280707 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280707_LR_f15805e1-f3c3-4e7d-bd06-26c26bcfd36e.jpg?v=1571611323 My wife blew up that one. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280708 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280708_LR_c6c17192-d4d6-41d4-8089-ee003bed3e7a.jpg?v=1571611324 Dentistry’s come a long way in the last few years. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280710 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280710_LR_26f20c15-d7ee-4e4e-93ac-b0d03504d67b.jpg?v=1571611324 Hold on… something’s cutting into my side. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280711 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280711_LR_7f32d870-bad9-488a-919f-6d861ceff925.jpg?v=1571611324 You’re exactly the same size as me. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280712 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280712_LR_10e82ffc-67d4-4c8a-9600-4cae07657be2.jpg?v=1571611324 She’s very quick with a potato peeler. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280713 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280713_LR_b5d3bcaf-d283-43d3-b7a4-c288199e3c45.jpg?v=1571611324 Your hair transplant is being rejected! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280714 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280714_LR_4e05bee3-51ef-4a58-9b27-a4b2e22f5a21.jpg?v=1571611324 I’m here on a student exchange program. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280715 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280715_LR_2d1463c4-66b3-445a-8fd3-d7082e085783.jpg?v=1571611324 You’re supposed to be holding it straight! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280717 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280717_LR_1f7d9c17-93ec-413e-90e3-7ae115d9075e.jpg?v=1571611324 You missed breakfast. It was 6 o’clock this morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280718 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280718_LR_5690113e-0a91-4d90-97d3-b706c55020b2.jpg?v=1571611324 He uses that one when he can’t find his false teeth. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280719 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280719_LR_35bef647-c3b2-4a87-adc5-c21b8331d0d8.jpg?v=1571611324 Your cut in salary is a cost-of-living adjustment due to the falling price of coffee. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280720 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280720_LR_c998d71c-3f90-460f-af5a-dd9d0f569d25.jpg?v=1571611324 Oh no! He’s bought a trampoline. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280721 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280721_LR_afc89035-0c15-42cb-a28c-56b989faa8a1.jpg?v=1571611324 You should never stifle a sneeze!