https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280722 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280722_LR_cc31149e-b148-45cb-9b27-a46e98d508a3.jpg?v=1571611324 I’ll give you directions. Just don’t drive above jogging speed. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280724 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280724_LR_f53909e3-ff7e-49bd-bf13-5d8363ab6f76.jpg?v=1571611324 In a couple of days you should be well enough to make it onto the chart. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280725 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280725_LR_3d80a996-c927-48ed-b599-c9d0ef32b9ed.jpg?v=1571611324 Get your shoes off. I’ve just put down clean newspaper. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280726 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280726_LR_1184b13c-9444-44e8-9059-269c13fd2430.jpg?v=1571611324 What sort of hammer? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280727 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280727_LR_496aa40d-a19c-44f5-9865-e02e52c2cc38.jpg?v=1571611324 You just ruined a perfectly good hole. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280728 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280728_LR_4c2b2b31-4ba9-4189-af38-ae3a10572c18.jpg?v=1571611324 Your chest x-ray is fine, but your driver’s license has expired. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280729 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280729_LR_d8a3ac5b-e676-462e-ac7a-599dd1abbc93.jpg?v=1571611324 I got it from a place called ‘Greece.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280731 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280731_LR_0c7555ba-feae-4cd8-a65a-dcf23beaccb5.jpg?v=1571611324 He didn’t even notice my earrings! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280801 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280801_LR_28e0fd7b-5339-4648-9f1d-ce76020497d5.jpg?v=1571611324 These are my two references; neither of them can write. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280802 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280802_LR_14d7bf20-a48a-48a9-a5b2-60f42c13bb7b.jpg?v=1571611324 She hates to part with it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280803 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280803_LR_64ca1a4f-3639-40e0-8790-92a3074e149a.jpg?v=1571611324 Come on, don’t waste my time. Get out of there. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280804 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280804_LR_48ec6827-e7cd-41c7-8c6d-aa0bb13a3547.jpg?v=1571611324 The fingerprint evidence is pretty conclusive, your honor. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280805 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280805_LR_8f4ccdcc-2d4d-4255-ade4-c44cfd8f0596.jpg?v=1571611324 Don’t go out during thunderstorms. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280807 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280807_LR_83860313-7280-4ba6-b86a-16841d1dc300.jpg?v=1571611324 We don’t go out much since he hurt his back. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280808 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280808_LR_fd241af2-867e-4e9e-89a1-5058261ab273.jpg?v=1571611324 We went on strike last week and they brought in scab convicts. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280809 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280809_LR_a9039044-9ecc-4500-94a8-40b17d385d24.jpg?v=1571611324 They din’t have an 18-inch so we had to take two 9s. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280810 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280810_LR_340b23fe-74be-4ef7-b63c-f244fa237ebd.jpg?v=1571611324 Do you want to leave your glasses on? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280811 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280811_LR_8df78f2d-9301-4c2f-8805-8167727bd00f.jpg?v=1571611324 As a matter of fact, I went to all this trouble just to say ‘I don’t.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280812 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280812_LR_16aebc82-86a6-4897-8bf7-5277b46ee100.jpg?v=1571611324 Your wife had a baby girl. I don’t know if that makes you a daddy-mummy or a mummy-daddy. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280814 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280814_LR_885b827c-1e3c-401d-b929-d26c82f0a439.jpg?v=1571611324 In a few minutes, you’re going to meet two nice gentlemen dressed in white coats. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280815 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280815_LR_cd82a6b0-270c-4408-b316-5420b2e547d6.jpg?v=1571611325 We were only out of the room for two minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280816 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280816_LR_730324c8-c96a-4c98-b819-59b4234e8c63.jpg?v=1571611325 This model comes with shoulder straps for camping trips. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280817 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280817_LR_375892b8-24ce-47ca-a94b-56456a65619b.jpg?v=1571611325 How about a 10 minute ‘shore-leave’ to take out the garbage? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280818 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280818_LR_16fa07a2-111e-476e-bca8-d4bd9defff8f.jpg?v=1571611325 You wanna look your best for the hospital. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280819 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280819_LR_80a024ae-ea90-4c3d-ada5-bd2bbba4f7b0.jpg?v=1571611325 He’s not a musician. That’s his hearing aid. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280821 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280821_LR_b763e301-9f31-4b83-937b-c9d5a1030893.jpg?v=1571611325 Is that how you like your coffee? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280822 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280822_LR_650d8304-0211-4cb8-8e7c-76b86dbbb3a1.jpg?v=1571611325 We sleep in separate bedrooms mainly to prevent the house from tipping over. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280823 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280823_LR_d2498046-1cb9-4b4c-a152-b6ba06356774.jpg?v=1571611325 Just show me the cheapest stuff in the store and I’ll force myself to like it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280824 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280824_LR_e6b425ff-f959-41de-8446-1d60a7084d5b.jpg?v=1571611325 Lifetime guarantee against speeding tickets. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280825 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280825_LR_ff2d0bbe-eb08-4a5e-b347-a2ccb1c71844.jpg?v=1571611325 If I was a tipper, you’d definitely get one. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280826 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280826_LR_fc660740-b6e1-4727-9753-f643d554ca5c.jpg?v=1571611325 He never did have a lot of patience. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280828 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280828_LR_904726c4-5f9c-44b2-a1ba-489944669316.jpg?v=1571611325 Personally, I prefer a soft mattress. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280829 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280829_LR_67aabf50-19ec-4283-afb4-857f3664d714.jpg?v=1571611325 You can guess who’s paying for the wedding doughnuts. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280830 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280830_LR_161c7448-7292-4fe9-8f83-be3c0c092857.jpg?v=1571611325 One of everything four times a day. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280831 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280831_LR_d4d12852-2708-4731-895c-5b900d359756.jpg?v=1571611325 Just a couple of bills! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280901 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280901_LR_dc18afec-3473-4c83-9ffb-0e1c10875744.jpg?v=1571611325 Phone the newspaper; I just found a second piece of pork in this can of beans! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280902 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280902_LR_78fedb1f-8f8f-4648-bbed-365f4b6bfad1.jpg?v=1571611325 He always disappears when I want him to do the dishes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280904 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280904_LR_3c0a2d06-c580-4b39-a63e-3c3b0885771d.jpg?v=1571611325 OK, a cheeseburger for you. What about the Statue of Liberty over here? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280905 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280905_LR_ae711822-b7b3-45d8-951c-f0dc93ce36bc.jpg?v=1571611325 We can manage on my pension. All we need is the fare to Albania. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280906 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280906_LR_b5f655f1-9c4a-4832-b11c-2eebf64cbc34.jpg?v=1571611325 Can you account for your whereabouts in January 1992? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280907 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280907_LR_ad71eae9-3f48-404b-8e1b-2ba7f1ab9b70.jpg?v=1571611325 What’s the fish like today? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280908 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280908_LR_2f9c508b-7d56-4441-be45-04ce97c96557.jpg?v=1571611325 What happened to my sun screen? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280909 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280909_LR_fd10b2d9-716a-4adf-9eac-bcb6898298f2.jpg?v=1571611325 One way. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280911 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280911_LR_02c29795-75e9-4f1c-add9-bc1eda708026.jpg?v=1571611325 He was laid off from the candle factory after the fire. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280912 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280912_LR_452db94b-e1e2-4d28-a408-c2c810ac355f.jpg?v=1571611325 I got 6 percent in math. Is that good or bad? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280913 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280913_LR_b65b2781-630a-4716-bb45-b20577ef90d0.jpg?v=1571611325 I thought it was you. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280914 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280914_LR_8109b7e1-025b-419d-ab43-e7ce5de6a298.jpg?v=1571611325 I wish you hadn’t told the waiter he didn’t look his age. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280915 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280915_LR_21beebfe-eeb5-455c-b277-6b2238f2a00b.jpg?v=1571611325 Cruise control. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280916 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280916_LR_3dc79706-46fa-41ba-9326-720f06a76a9f.jpg?v=1571611325 I see you're a man of sophisticated taste. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280918 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280918_LR_872df427-cfce-498f-afa2-7b25070d3600.jpg?v=1571611325 Commander Zook requesting permission to come aboard the planet. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280919 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280919_LR_48f1e388-59aa-410b-b6f0-9d8d830eacb6.jpg?v=1571611325 This is our new model, ‘The Marriage Saver.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280920 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280920_LR_431be5de-4f20-4d6e-8b90-ac2694bd2e10.jpg?v=1571611326 Got him! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280921 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280921_LR_e2a70f24-8c37-47d5-9575-f0b59fe1ebf0.jpg?v=1571611326 The guy at table 7 said you ought to have been a saddle-maker. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280922 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280922_LR_20e201d5-eca2-40a8-832b-ebe5014ed4c6.jpg?v=1571611326 How do you get these little bottles in a typewriter? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280923 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280923_LR_34e921d6-f398-4ff7-95ea-9035f93262a5.jpg?v=1571611326 Your baggage arrived, but your wife went to Tokyo. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280925 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280925_LR_067dd914-3509-44df-b8fe-a94da3f52e7c.jpg?v=1571611326 The toaster’s all clogged up again. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280926 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280926_LR_e573e0c7-b5da-4b0b-9840-808010560ec7.jpg?v=1571611326 Oh, boy! A world cruise. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280927 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280927_LR_ffb6c8b1-7b78-47c4-afdc-2b8f8e02aa88.jpg?v=1571611326 I know I’m not supposed to interfere, but how’s the dog going to climb through that? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280928 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280928_LR_31ddbb8c-e24f-41e1-a809-fecf21d5c5ab.jpg?v=1571611326 Clarissa, will you please get back in here this instant. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280929 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280929_LR_39b9eb04-0b4d-4bd6-8b08-9294e9b73c62.jpg?v=1571611326 Hey, waiter. We’ll share a medium pizza. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm280930 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM280930_LR_1f8ca063-c18b-4461-abd7-d5b7f1afd8dc.jpg?v=1571611326 I asked my new secretary to get me a sheet of graph paper. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281002 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281002_LR_1df49bbd-1262-44b1-a075-c6185f5718ed.jpg?v=1571611326 I didn’t want you straining your back plugging in a vacuum cleaner. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281003 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281003_LR_f2061465-17cf-4ddf-ba17-5e4a7abf35e7.jpg?v=1571611326 It’s either your water pump or your stereo. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281004 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281004_LR_6f2e0573-4f33-4333-94b0-3bc95daa7943.jpg?v=1571611326 Luckily, our honeymoon suite had a TV in the bedroom. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281005 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281005_LR_a4a3204a-e784-4a69-9898-fdc517bd4191.jpg?v=1571611326 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281006 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281006_LR_7b413236-e342-4f51-b5e4-7e01915180d8.jpg?v=1571611326 Don’t drive around like that! Find a gas station! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281007 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281007_LR_b34393d8-55f7-4683-8d47-6f671413aad3.jpg?v=1571611326 I think you’ve had enough. Why don’t I call you a cab? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281009 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281009_LR_5585fd90-d578-47cc-a253-8a0daf903a9e.jpg?v=1571611326 I hate the color but I’ll take it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281010 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281010_LR_5f4e7956-eaea-44df-a2f4-e087ad39880e.jpg?v=1571611326 I’d say his chances are about 50/50 of making it to the hospital. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281011 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281011_LR_13408dfb-9515-49d5-b673-e92ca58b68e1.jpg?v=1571611326 Oh, no! We didn’t get our wake-up call. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281012 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281012_LR_684a8c48-2237-4386-b35c-965031c7fe95.jpg?v=1571611326 I lost 10 pounds once. To be honest, I didn’t notice any difference. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281013 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281013_LR_7659bc42-f17b-41ff-9ab5-21b7ec866ef5.jpg?v=1571611326 Which leg is it? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281014 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281014_LR_e51ac0dd-3aba-46db-a67c-b092a00d5a5b.jpg?v=1571611326 My kid ripped up the ace of diamonds. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281016 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281016_LR_0facf81d-d6ed-46f6-abcb-192ba7d14e13.jpg?v=1571611326 He doesn’t need pockets. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281017 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281017_LR_ea38f0b1-cb66-4441-9f9a-d6820eb9f818.jpg?v=1571611326 I’m sorry, sir, Dr. Rogers can see you only by referral. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281018 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281018_LR_e34cd251-566c-48c9-988e-46c5d4881b91.jpg?v=1571611326 I just wanted to tell you I’m gonna be late. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281019 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281019_LR_acb15c62-becd-47ea-aa30-db6b4500aa26.jpg?v=1571611326 Same as yesterday: one sausage, four french fries, and 11 peas. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281020 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281020_LR_e73e7e24-67e2-4863-864f-fce4851b8598.jpg?v=1571611326 Kid, it’s against the law to tell people you’re 50 years old. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281021 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281021_LR_299d595e-2bef-472f-b247-ab1cb826a4f2.jpg?v=1571611326 Pizza’s here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281023 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281023_LR_18039846-5892-4ec7-a14c-0cc8be527377.jpg?v=1571611326 He can’t see you for at least three weeks. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281024 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281024_LR_f018cc0d-a815-4839-8b07-c6a6df418b12.jpg?v=1571611326 Imagine anyone planting a tree right there! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281025 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281025_LR_48cb10de-4a92-4abf-87db-dae71f890610.jpg?v=1571611326 My kid drew them on my passport picture with a magic marker. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281026 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281026_LR_187c36dd-6dd9-4803-8b45-190e14407ccd.jpg?v=1571611326 I don’t mind pleading guilty, your honor, if you’ll grant me immunity from prosecution. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281027 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281027_LR_d9d24e2e-5b29-441f-abc5-982ff684a99f.jpg?v=1571611326 This should keep you going while I’m on vacation. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281028 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281028_LR_65500f11-2d4c-403a-8b62-7908b858957a.jpg?v=1571611327 I could have left you a tip if you hadn’t talked me into that cheesecake. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281030 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281030_LR_1df41068-d02b-4262-9a57-7a9c0fb96151.jpg?v=1571611327 It’s our wedding anniversary. She’ll have the pasta and I’ll have a roast beef sandwich to go. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281031 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281031_LR_3aa20cf8-e379-4fa1-b19e-329ecc15b065.jpg?v=1571611327 Are you gonna be able to afford a car by the time I need to borrow it? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281101 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281101_LR_12186445-2812-4de5-9dbb-2a74e4532ca2.jpg?v=1571611327 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281102 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281102_LR_6e51efe0-d39b-4229-8ed7-1d290a20b1fc.jpg?v=1571611327 Everyone at work drew straws and we lost. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281103 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281103_LR_4242b713-2609-41e1-aef3-dc0103e1c9d5.jpg?v=1571611327 Is my prescription ready? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281104 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281104_LR_ba33aa44-6a16-438d-ae78-af78f90a9d85.jpg?v=1571611327 There’s absolutely nothing on TV tonight! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281106 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281106_LR_4cb791a0-fe8e-4ceb-8c75-f1fee2a3293f.jpg?v=1571611327 Room service. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281107 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281107_LR_dfa9d3a8-2366-45d1-bd66-20d037c6bd65.jpg?v=1571611327 How much? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281108 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281108_LR_c60aa816-518a-40d0-80b4-8ad47a3639e4.jpg?v=1571611327 I don’t want a son-in-law who’s stupid enough to marry my daughter. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281109 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281109_LR_64af800c-3b36-4c34-92c3-528d2bb26414.jpg?v=1571611327 I won’t be able to make it next year. I’m having my hair done. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281110 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281110_LR_1ba082a7-0edd-4fd2-a975-d0e9277c3215.jpg?v=1571611327 Just put it back on the wall. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281111 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281111_LR_d951db85-4100-4307-ad4a-516a8f8e4d6d.jpg?v=1571611327 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281113 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281113_LR_782331e7-940d-48e0-85d6-9e994ebc4af5.jpg?v=1571611327 The elevator’s broken. I’ll have to make several trips with all your luggage. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281114 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281114_LR_556af2fe-8a06-49df-a8dd-4f7b3b710ebb.jpg?v=1571611327 Have any of you slaves seen my sandwiches? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281115 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281115_LR_6ce81729-7a36-4bab-af35-5f5f7bfb9243.jpg?v=1571611327 What’s ‘The Flight of the Bumblebee’ like this evening? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281116 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281116_LR_05ba825b-077c-432c-afed-d115e4bf6001.jpg?v=1571611327 We’re going to Italy for a week on his overtime pay. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281117 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281117_LR_a422e3b3-33d4-43b3-8aa3-d8b3b4e8d00f.jpg?v=1571611327 Don’t get out of the car. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281118 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281118_LR_3d8553e5-a9b5-4f7b-a351-2e2e51f824b2.jpg?v=1571611327 I thought you liked shepherd’s pie! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281120 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281120_LR_0c3b3eb0-3e72-44bd-96f2-a1bdb7444feb.jpg?v=1571611327 The dollar’s been weakening all week. . . Got a hammer? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281121 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281121_LR_560661fc-a713-4fca-96a2-9fdfadd41097.jpg?v=1571611327 Give the ticket to my husband. He taught me to drive. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281122 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281122_LR_61bb5621-b825-4898-8235-84119582c095.jpg?v=1571611327 Joyce, how do you spell ‘juggling’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281123 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281123_LR_1606e948-8d95-4773-a45d-0ee6da2217c4.jpg?v=1571611327 Will you buzz off! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281124 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281124_LR_199d14a4-1649-4e2f-93a8-cdaf944f7bd7.jpg?v=1571611327 Are you nearly finished? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281125 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281125_LR_9ad90247-ae7d-454f-997e-05402fd4e847.jpg?v=1571611327 She’s been trying to rebuild the economy with my credit card. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281127 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281127_LR_f376f2be-e3bf-4cda-a271-0fb97f0748d5.jpg?v=1571611327 Can I have your hat? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281128 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281128_LR_6dd1857d-2007-4278-9ed7-010a2b0c7ba6.jpg?v=1571611327 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281129 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281129_LR_f34b2069-539e-4c71-8cde-713421e4ab1b.jpg?v=1571611327 You’ll need this for the steak and kidney pie. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281130 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281130_LR_4abca562-996c-4df1-a1f4-e4977833202e.jpg?v=1571611327 What have you got within walking distance. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281201 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281201_LR_38d0865a-6ac8-48da-a208-b4490e585209.jpg?v=1571611327 My wife threw my dinner at the wall and I framed it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281202 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281202_LR_09fbcfe7-5ec6-4073-b1f7-7c48efa202ac.jpg?v=1571611327 I’m not sure what these are, but take them for a couple of weeks and let me know how you feel. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281204 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281204_LR_8aa42383-1c0f-43f2-87f1-1307d6a8b30c.jpg?v=1571611328 Pepper? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281205 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281205_LR_e75177fa-2cef-48e5-b0cd-3ca612f9a909.jpg?v=1571611328 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281206 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281206_LR_4c50da03-8ee0-4438-a52b-4e32cceb8391.jpg?v=1571611328 Would you like the premium or budget surgery? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281207 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281207_LR_070f4c65-d758-4734-b59b-4afa105f09b5.jpg?v=1571611328 I can’t find Australia. Are you sure it’s on here? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281208 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281208_LR_7b41e8b0-f0ea-4921-b099-2a542ba05e8b.jpg?v=1571611328 I gotta be straight with you, Andrea. I wear special shoes to make me look taller. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281209 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281209_LR_0c02ef0e-8188-4a47-b500-e16a7dc9158a.jpg?v=1571611328 Makes you wonder how we ever managed without it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281211 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281211_LR_8de3facd-55d1-474c-9cf4-3a057cfdd541.jpg?v=1571611328 Will you do both of us for $5? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281212 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281212_LR_b2a811c6-d008-4d85-bc1e-08c773803946.jpg?v=1571611328 It’s got a lovely view of the beach. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281213 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281213_LR_5ea3d8dc-d2e0-4cbd-9180-017b3c713f7f.jpg?v=1571611328 If you don’t go to sleep, you’re gonna be practicing that swing in a wheelchair. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281214 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281214_LR_bbd60b4e-0b1a-4f5e-804d-fb68b7058b7c.jpg?v=1571611328 Harry can’t reach the drum! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281215 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281215_LR_b3cde7c9-188d-4ad4-8d1a-6234a28fcc08.jpg?v=1571611328 I should fire you, but I don’t believe in mixing business with pleasure. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281216 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281216_LR_123da895-41b0-408a-a59d-6f1e502a16ee.jpg?v=1571611328 Yeah, this feels about right. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281218 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281218_LR_474a99e2-b1c1-4556-977e-850e57b3bfa1.jpg?v=1571611328 I don’t want to learn to drive… I want to learn to better criticize my husband. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281219 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281219_LR_0eaefcf6-2fe3-48a5-b4be-55febd996ae0.jpg?v=1571611328 Our figures show that the larger lamps are 68 percent less likely to be stolen by burglars. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281220 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281220_LR_8f99a22d-1a36-4cc0-8b63-e54404c27162.jpg?v=1571611328 I was rubbing two sticks together and discovered first-degree burns. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281221 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281221_LR_fd0f3263-803a-48e5-9bee-cc6b0273d141.jpg?v=1571611328 We’re having a party downstairs. D’you wanna come? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281222 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281222_LR_acaf602d-4054-4754-9ce9-ed90907eff85.jpg?v=1571611328 I usually have to drive him home after a party. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281223 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281223_LR_57df1c22-73f2-4b0b-a02f-fe5ffd993f32.jpg?v=1571611328 You should be careful with blisters. You’d better let the doctor take a look at it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281225 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281225_LR_c1f36b08-6e0f-4c8c-ab8d-8246ca6b09ad.jpg?v=1571611328 Mom, is this my baby sitter? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281226 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281226_LR_e7344df7-013b-4d80-8830-3b2116ec5e91.jpg?v=1571611328 I gotta be at the airport in 3 minutes. I’m driving. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281227 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281227_LR_a72e69f9-3e50-409d-af70-e269a2f7b775.jpg?v=1571611328 I can’t bring the car back ‘til low tide. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281228 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281228_LR_25f44e6a-1055-44c2-b4c5-b2434c6fb912.jpg?v=1571611328 Whatever that was, I’ll have another one. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281229 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281229_LR_01a55c15-2622-4892-bb73-87566f97d408.jpg?v=1571611328 Can I drop you off somewhere? I’ve decided to call a cab. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm281230 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM281230_LR_30f8e34d-0bbc-4737-b17a-adeb86521057.jpg?v=1571611328 You quit smoking again? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290101 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290101_LR_f85a6211-48b6-427f-a95e-cb5b5794b35e.jpg?v=1571611328 Six years ago he started putting up a towel rack. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290102 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290102_LR_5697e4a3-6cd9-4d73-92b9-d1a8cc78e8f1.jpg?v=1571611328 The odd-numbered caves are on the other side of the gorge. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290103 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290103_LR_809d1c10-edf8-4a35-b3bc-54b07ddc842b.jpg?v=1571611328 I need 148 get-well cards. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290104 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290104_LR_e9b3d584-c25e-40b3-b1d2-34d628a8b268.jpg?v=1571611328 How d’you expect me to remember your birthday? I was only a year old. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290105 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290105_LR_935da5b6-a957-4933-8592-58b036ea8d7f.jpg?v=1571611328 It’s just a back-up system for your pacemaker. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290106 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290106_LR_29de1167-033e-4f29-8516-212eb3bba1f2.jpg?v=1571611328 The racetrack laundered his money again. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290108 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290108_LR_1f6c4751-8efc-4494-9e0f-70b42212881b.jpg?v=1571611328 It’s a whole different world down there. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290109 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290109_LR_3eda30e1-634e-4eb4-ae2a-aeac70fe74e5.jpg?v=1571611328 Dr. Wilson the skin specialist, or Dr. Wilson the gynecologist? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290110 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290110_LR_4937f666-1410-4b44-b348-f49b3140894c.jpg?v=1571611328 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290111 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290111_LR_0be56dd8-173c-4a6a-bae3-d7c4f2b4c687.jpg?v=1571611328 I can’t find my baseball. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290112 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290112_LR_bd97c1b7-a8b7-4a88-acf9-720ae2cbe815.jpg?v=1571611329 Is this your first christening? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290113 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290113_LR_37f3b3ab-51a1-42f1-9ffd-8596c90451ae.jpg?v=1571611329 I wanna be able to breathe if I sink. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290115 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290115_LR_07b2155d-46cf-4193-81a4-bfea6f349a1c.jpg?v=1571611329 We ask for a $5 deposit on the sausages. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290116 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290116_LR_4431c99b-c764-4d13-8ec4-3887403a5940.jpg?v=1571611329 When we get more members, we’ll buy a bigger piece of land. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290117 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290117_LR_8fd51a5d-a3fc-4779-89e8-ff824f1971df.jpg?v=1571611329 Four blocks north. If it’s not there, eight blocks south. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290118 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290118_LR_9384823b-399e-4132-a9e6-6d292b86a211.jpg?v=1571611329 … with this ring I thee wed. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290119 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290119_LR_e51151eb-8a34-47dc-8548-a644d0c0646f.jpg?v=1571611329 A what? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290120 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290120_LR_1b0e721e-035f-4922-bc20-50550a76faae.jpg?v=1571611329 Where do you want me to wait? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290122 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290122_LR_536e7833-dc01-4efd-96dc-cff6ba33c01a.jpg?v=1571611329 It’s gonna be one of those days, is it? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290123 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290123_LR_2b1c8f92-01a1-41eb-a9cf-eaa125457116.jpg?v=1571611329 Experience! Are you kidding? I’ve had 12 jobs this year alone! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290124 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290124_LR_51fbc73a-2a6c-4acc-ae13-6250aa98c773.jpg?v=1571611329 How long does it take for a lottery ticket to dissolve in stomach acid? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290125 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290125_LR_2d7880fc-e348-407e-b8aa-c131cad2cc95.jpg?v=1571611329 My old legs are not as fast as they used to be. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290126 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290126_LR_9a0f1584-54da-497b-a417-7d861edcfd6c.jpg?v=1571611329 It’s not as bad as it looks. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290127 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290127_LR_2b9c08ea-3335-47d2-9a04-9e30d78e5669.jpg?v=1571611329 There’s a limit of one per customer. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290129 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290129_LR_b69515bd-3962-434e-bb0e-7eae0e761e16.jpg?v=1571611329 I’ll just have a cup of coffee. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290130 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290130_LR_9113dbc5-77a0-461c-a5d8-577191652466.jpg?v=1571611329 I know there’s a full moon tonight. Don’t keep thinking about it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290131 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290131_LR_0967e766-8edc-45cd-b3a6-7b4176254fa0.jpg?v=1571611329 He always keeps me in the style to which I’d become accustomed… poverty. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290201 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290201_LR_2ee190de-7909-4602-8dba-c05d863737d7.jpg?v=1571611329 This one’s 10 percent real food. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290202 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290202_LR_b1ab22a8-b123-46e0-af03-d88d9e432619.jpg?v=1571611329 We’ve come to repossess your land. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290203 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290203_LR_3d90029e-ec85-4edf-9920-67c121c02492.jpg?v=1571611329 We bought you two toasters in case things don’t work out. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290205 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290205_LR_3c4d1755-709a-43f1-8247-76655f5996c7.jpg?v=1571611329 I see on your applicaton that you used to be a termite inspector. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290206 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290206_LR_e39c82a8-a508-4091-bcd8-b2d04fe24fc9.jpg?v=1571611329 Banzai! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290207 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290207_LR_bc45b058-2a2b-401d-9814-e42f14a29bf4.jpg?v=1571611329 Grandma, can you lend me $11 to get a set of false fingernails? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290208 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290208_LR_14b41f4a-5202-488a-80da-fea25866a643.jpg?v=1571611329 I hope you’re not going to be like my first three husbands. They all went bankrupt. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290209 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290209_LR_d84afa92-e2a6-49fb-b439-0088a004fb9b.jpg?v=1571611424 I’m gonna flop here; my feet are killing me. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290210 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290210_LR_9c056cb1-1524-4e21-bc4f-7734275046a2.jpg?v=1571611424 Here he is, Mom. He fell off the tractor. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290212 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290212_LR_08b23528-74db-4a9c-87eb-672d3f13266b.jpg?v=1571611424 I’m not worried about his future. We were only in the park 10 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290213 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290213_LR_e3ceaa80-b258-455d-9602-ce62c7c7b417.jpg?v=1571611424 You’re supposed to be at the church in 20 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290214 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290214_LR_a42a6cad-2fc8-4baa-9e82-85ddd02f6cb5.jpg?v=1571611424 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290215 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290215_LR_fd424be9-ff94-4fa2-8635-71abdedf541e.jpg?v=1571611424 We’re planning a second honeymoon if I can get an hour off work. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290216 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290216_LR_78a76533-e5c3-4c93-bcc5-49a7c47ecf96.jpg?v=1571611424 His brother and his nephew Reggie are doing 12 years for armed robbery. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290217 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290217_LR_14c5c367-9532-47df-92b3-c7d69d7a072d.jpg?v=1571611424 This is the only one we have in your size. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290219 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290219_LR_cccaba08-2256-4869-8aa7-74d85fa6b309.jpg?v=1571611424 I’m just going to get a pack of cigarettes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290220 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290220_LR_0d7246c3-3a37-4e9c-9789-ef0327d80f41.jpg?v=1571611424 How many times have I told you not to call me at work? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290221 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290221_LR_652edb1f-b133-4d36-8281-370015b36f01.jpg?v=1571611424 It says, ‘How long before we land?’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290222 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290222_LR_7c51689b-7942-4140-b06a-ede24c626a3a.jpg?v=1571611424 I put these on the ones I haven’t done yet. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290223 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290223_LR_ae550b88-9a8a-4191-acc5-fda0b83f8f64.jpg?v=1571611424 Now then, is that blue or glue? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290224 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290224_LR_6c5d259c-e6c5-47cf-a036-4b60a54fe13c.jpg?v=1571611424 Is this kid yours? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290226 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290226_LR_14a4fdba-6c85-474f-96f1-54a1bc4f8574.jpg?v=1571611424 I’m your new neighbor, upstairs. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290227 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290227_LR_e264f12b-3f76-4237-b228-2306198dbdba.jpg?v=1571611424 Rapid pulse, sweating, shallow breathing… According to the computer, you’ve got gallstones. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290228 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290228_LR_2ef525c7-659e-4b4f-96a0-8faed6888c7a.jpg?v=1571611424 I can get to the supermarket in under six minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290301 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290301_LR_c6873e88-cd8c-430e-871d-6e574472438a.jpg?v=1571611424 I am still waiting for my change! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290302 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290302_LR_5447dd15-184b-4ff5-bee2-c6721802bdf5.jpg?v=1571611424 Can’t you make less noise when you eat? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290303 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290303_LR_79e89ff7-1cb1-4187-91d8-ae4594aa809a.jpg?v=1571611424 Why don’t we just call it quits and I’ll cancel my next four trips? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290305 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290305_LR_561b0352-a5eb-4cbc-a722-8abf3c758292.jpg?v=1571611424 Listen, friend, if you wanna date my daughter, you’d better start letting your hair grow. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290306 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290306_LR_05712a5b-8788-44cb-9283-70324f18bd63.jpg?v=1571611424 I’m sorry, sir, you can’t come in without a jacket. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290307 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290307_LR_6ca7ebb7-02d7-498a-bcfd-6af0a3756bb3.jpg?v=1571611424 You’re not even half as good as my last driving instructor! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290308 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290308_LR_5c89c15d-fc33-4969-a9af-1fb8536d4047.jpg?v=1571611424 No wonder you’re having difficulty walking. You’ve got an armchair back here! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290309 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290309_LR_6593c1b6-2c4a-40bc-9e2b-c296ecd02fe3.jpg?v=1571611425 Can you tell me how to get to Wimpole Lane, Berry Street, Tunney Crescent and Orchard Park Avenue? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290310 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290310_LR_bea67ebc-4f90-4a80-86e8-1ebf5e203f6e.jpg?v=1571611425 Perfect! I’ll take ’em. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290312 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290312_LR_97a056cc-c365-498f-ba8a-cd08cbe7b950.jpg?v=1571611425 Where can I get a bunch of sunflowers? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290313 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290313_LR_357e35de-17d2-45e5-bbdd-2748179bf2d6.jpg?v=1571611425 I’ll hand you over to our washroom specialist. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290314 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290314_LR_99624d9a-d9eb-4fbc-a2dc-655793ce49fb.jpg?v=1571611425 I just found out your lawyer specializes in real estate. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290315 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290315_LR_fbfd2a94-fb52-4fee-87be-a5235282d358.jpg?v=1571611425 You forgot the stool! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290316 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290316_LR_b597aa15-673e-405c-8401-f65902c79dc9.jpg?v=1571611425 You didn’t say anything on the phone about needing a co-signer. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290317 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290317_LR_37065370-983d-47f6-abcd-861e94444332.jpg?v=1571611425 We have to move with the times, G.B. My salesmen need horseless carriages. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290319 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290319_LR_b22d573a-21e9-4a1e-8926-43d1fe3c12ea.jpg?v=1571611425 I hooked a real big one but it kept swimming around the boat. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290320 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290320_LR_737d40f7-f4ed-482c-93aa-2bb0ca6a40c8.jpg?v=1571611425 Which way to the railway station… both with sugar. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290321 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290321_LR_f0ae1f1f-86a6-42b8-94bd-d6f80efcafbc.jpg?v=1571611425 Now that you’ve cut off my electricity, how do you expect me to find my checkbook in the dark? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290322 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290322_LR_d47a751f-43ca-4263-8829-bb801787f9a5.jpg?v=1571611425 Name? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290323 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290323_LR_cdc89a45-6018-4dd8-89cb-3d2c2289ab15.jpg?v=1571611425 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290324 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290324_LR_fa9d699e-4615-4277-92ec-0cb41db85260.jpg?v=1571611425 Today’s special is all the caviar you can eat for $600. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290326 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290326_LR_45dd0ce1-c06a-4f1e-bf3b-8f0cee3ea4b3.jpg?v=1571611425 You’d better go now. I’m not stopping halfway across the galaxy. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290327 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290327_LR_18d1724a-99af-4353-bd60-aa631271b4ee.jpg?v=1571611425 It’s always the same when we go camping… wakes up and can’t remember where he is. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290328 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290328_LR_0f3e5bdc-1968-44d4-a05f-b5c76c8abe5e.jpg?v=1571611425 Hi. Thirty years ago… camping trip to Arizona… you lost a little baby boy. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290329 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290329_LR_5f764161-a0f3-4024-9ec6-7ca16ec4658b.jpg?v=1571611425 She can say ‘charge it’ in 14 languages. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290330 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290330_LR_805daa34-fcfd-4df8-9b73-4f58f4454746.jpg?v=1571611425 Can you spare a twenty? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290331 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290331_LR_24c5db1e-c246-4c9a-b560-8e962f3e7178.jpg?v=1571611425 The doctor said sleep on your stomach tonight and he’ll see you first thing tomorrow. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290402 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290402_LR_938b7a97-0841-4e5c-b359-d207144ae513.jpg?v=1571611425 I’m increasing my odds. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290403 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290403_LR_c92ce599-4e3c-4a6d-afec-0b4b1675cd0e.jpg?v=1571611425 I’m going to have the buffet. Do you have another one for my husband? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290404 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290404_LR_b1511c15-3f78-450b-8bae-3e977a03ff9c.jpg?v=1571611425 I had to get her $250,000 in liability insurance. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290405 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290405_LR_bdabf807-7bb3-4a86-b682-a1b899aaf930.jpg?v=1571611425 I found another one of these in his toolbox. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290406 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290406_LR_90e34314-8924-4371-ad66-4842405ebd5f.jpg?v=1571611425 Will you please ask your mother to sit over on my side? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290407 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290407_LR_ac6b969c-8b7e-43a5-9767-77ba84a38db0.jpg?v=1571611425 Are you sure the referee didn’t hit me a couple of times? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290409 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290409_LR_d5c0f0da-9b7b-4e1e-8246-9f6c0b2ab51f.jpg?v=1571611425 That’s the third time you’ve agreed with him. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290410 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290410_LR_08ff9983-cbf1-419b-8da7-8e0519a23424.jpg?v=1571611425 You’re suffering from very high food pressure. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290411 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290411_LR_7a766ec7-d548-46dd-b50f-bb4d7786c273.jpg?v=1571611425 If anything should happen to my nephew, Rodney, the bulk of my fortune will go to ‘Big Louie.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290412 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290412_LR_3accc73f-79c5-4017-944c-d8e45e9a71d1.jpg?v=1571611425 I’m leaving this for income tax just in case I get caught. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290413 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290413_LR_e70eccfd-cb33-4e3f-a22c-0a9427bd95a2.jpg?v=1571611426 Fifteen seconds away from a peaceful night. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290414 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290414_LR_041d9335-70e3-4462-8c41-afadd4661f44.jpg?v=1571611426 You look like an endangered species. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290416 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290416_LR_74040f4a-8117-4f17-9383-2e62af5841d0.jpg?v=1571611426 It’s a movie about The Great Houdini. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290417 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290417_LR_2ba6cb5c-6dc0-4acc-b620-57f4178947df.jpg?v=1571611426 Sorry, pal, we’re right out of aircraft carriers. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290418 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290418_LR_7c217a9f-6099-4080-9369-f53852a94ebd.jpg?v=1571611426 Whaddya think it is? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290419 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290419_LR_a61d01ef-971e-4f2e-a041-dd16d0705a3a.jpg?v=1571611426 Just say something about what it’s like here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290420 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290420_LR_6d72adae-9577-4b0b-b5a1-79d67417b21f.jpg?v=1571611426 Of course they disqualified you! You cut across the parking lot. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290423 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290423_LR_4a532546-513c-4a82-9562-7198d7fdc2a9.jpg?v=1571611426 Can I help it if your birthday coincides with the electricity bill? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290424 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290424_LR_f80aaba0-3380-42a6-8a01-b841ac1548be.jpg?v=1571611426 I knew my little girl would leave one day. That’s how I’ve kept my sanity. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290425 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290425_LR_0976d101-5805-4438-a27c-40de8be9ddb8.jpg?v=1571611426 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290426 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290426_LR_d4271ee8-6e6c-40a9-ab82-6ac2ab7bdc00.jpg?v=1571611426 What does 86 years come out to with time off for good behavior? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290427 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290427_LR_ba1c1d0f-9e7b-4de7-b6ca-8f54e81ac3cc.jpg?v=1571611426 I think our popularity is slipping. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290428 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290428_LR_5ddb2d47-fcf9-43c7-8738-adc21362ffce.jpg?v=1571611426 Whaddyer mean twenty-six, twenty-seven… I’m hitting a rock! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290430 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290430_LR_6b304952-8fe1-46ac-bbd6-1b081f6f9719.jpg?v=1571611426 She got a black belt after her first lesson. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290501 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290501_LR_13ca17cc-ffe8-4359-9cf0-4765956f1736.jpg?v=1571611426 I rolled the car on the way to band practice. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290502 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290502_LR_0018094b-05c8-4931-9435-b5cbb15d5864.jpg?v=1571611426 I know it’s expensive to bring up a kid. Why come to me with your problems? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290503 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290503_LR_62692738-0a0a-4d77-88c1-f08a092a1939.jpg?v=1571611426 Pull over to this house and leave the engine running. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290504 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290504_LR_7e20766d-c7bb-4d47-8c91-6b88fdd60086.jpg?v=1571611426 I hope you’re behaving yourself. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290505 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290505_LR_9755e455-289e-45d8-a7ed-71812e0c6cb7.jpg?v=1571611426 It’s just until the dessert trolley goes past. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290507 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290507_LR_447bdd82-df59-47f7-a1f2-5df9d779780f.jpg?v=1571611426 Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the fair… https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290508 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290508_LR_b48dcc57-8cd0-4bdb-a58d-677ff6a57cff.jpg?v=1571611426 What have I got? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290509 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290509_LR_f310ae5a-15fd-4c63-8c92-fc2abeb5c208.jpg?v=1571611426 You can call me apatheic if you like. See how much I care! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290510 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290510_LR_9efadca0-e2d1-4a8e-8974-5d1e2b3eeea4.jpg?v=1571611426 I only just made it out of the last place. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290511 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290511_LR_3cb95901-22d4-4e16-acfd-c240243aa8d0.jpg?v=1571611426 Keep her mother happy… wave this chicken over us. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290512 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290512_LR_8c0d75e6-a2f5-4085-a7cd-06658f1ce111.jpg?v=1571611426 He says the average surface temperature on his planet is about 600 degrees. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290514 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290514_LR_ae6592c0-786e-4baa-b3c4-e826a7a95459.jpg?v=1571611426 I’ve got to get some new curtains for the living room. Where did you hide the $6 million? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290515 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290515_LR_0da5afe7-0154-4dfa-b351-a19147678bc3.jpg?v=1571611426 How does anyone get four aces six times in a row? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290516 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290516_LR_de5d2ca7-1105-49b5-9492-748e23fa7e43.jpg?v=1571611426 There must be somebody you don’t like. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290517 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290517_LR_9613f0a5-fb2a-477f-9cc6-94da389d7ee0.jpg?v=1571611426 I thought you said you wanted it ‘to go’! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290518 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290518_LR_436944cc-41ed-4134-8b23-a6a93bf1a0d9.jpg?v=1571611426 He’s working on a way to make his hair grow. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290519 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290519_LR_767c6cc1-12d5-4e91-afe2-cb5241525519.jpg?v=1571611426 That’s the big clock in the kitchen. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290521 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290521_LR_259af2c2-aca3-4465-bc30-427ab01b0285.jpg?v=1571611426 Why don’t you read the rotten map yourself! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290522 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290522_LR_55e36093-aa56-4016-92d9-1ab248104619.jpg?v=1571611427 My first husband, George, loved to fly. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290523 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290523_LR_9d8a1358-6159-4e9d-8724-a30b5e84da7b.jpg?v=1571611427 You didn’t fill it up, did you? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290524 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290524_LR_09155755-246e-4e19-aa6e-3c276c84f80c.jpg?v=1571611427 I told you not to use a rowing machine. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290525 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290525_LR_c8589b18-0ea9-4228-a154-ebd426b1497a.jpg?v=1571611427 Take that out of your mouth and tell the nice man why you’d like a job here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290526 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290526_LR_aa99650b-74a9-4d85-822e-b1c26ac02855.jpg?v=1571611427 We didn’t have any ice, so I put a piece of frozen pizza in it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290528 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290528_LR_bff5f196-e1c6-4b65-994a-11f6395f5232.jpg?v=1571611427 Keep whistling. I forgot my glasses. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290529 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290529_LR_9ef0a26d-f2d2-4d80-a1f1-9773a5465b9c.jpg?v=1571611427 Personally, I think it ‘makes a statement.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290530 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290530_LR_050fb8c4-8e37-40a7-8665-f831b8b8e7f8.jpg?v=1571611427 Have what you like up to $7.50. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290531 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290531_LR_2a0b062b-b628-4c36-9a97-375ee01444f6.jpg?v=1571611427 This is the 11th time I’ve sent you to prison. You haven’t learned much in 30 years, have you? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290601 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290601_LR_0d4deb4b-fbe9-46c9-9df2-09aa2ef7af80.jpg?v=1571611427 I hear you’re looking for someone who can work without supervision. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290602 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290602_LR_b72a9802-d1e4-4723-837a-402e446e6280.jpg?v=1571611427 Sweetheart, don’t forget your lunch. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290604 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290604_LR_f97e0501-d8bd-42c0-bf78-23af2627e953.jpg?v=1571611427 I bought her a cookbook the day we got married… It’s still in the wrapper. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290605 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290605_LR_914bf2c7-6323-4c9d-9a89-58a1cee01690.jpg?v=1571611427 All I have available is the honeymoon suite. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290606 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290606_LR_398ed0a2-31ba-474b-a29a-c6c1631d4851.jpg?v=1571611427 It’s a bicycle roof-rack. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290607 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290607_LR_c427c82b-75bf-4340-a0ad-d263ebd8c3b2.jpg?v=1571611427 Root canal? You’ve charged me for the Suez Canal. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290608 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290608_LR_46771c40-ac23-425c-a85d-65453742cd06.jpg?v=1571611427 I hope you never need a brain transplant. It’ll be rejected. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290609 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290609_LR_e6ef77c7-7db7-4f78-8707-12ad41d4d20c.jpg?v=1571611427 The doctor said you’re lucky it wasn’t lower. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290611 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290611_LR_58e67981-fead-4af5-a842-8b2f1c154d78.jpg?v=1571611427 If you want to read the editorials, you’ll have to wait until I’ve finished the comics. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290612 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290612_LR_61160b01-7a14-4b2b-80b4-1afc334d6a0e.jpg?v=1571611427 I don’t usually do passport pictures. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290613 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290613_LR_03d8fb17-7338-4758-a57c-bfc0500cafbc.jpg?v=1571611427 You just plug it in once a month. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290614 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290614_LR_bc2a131c-2a82-4786-9975-b10f39282e5b.jpg?v=1571611427 Someone stole two million dollars worth of government toilet seats. The estimated street value is $1,200. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290615 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290615_LR_72b8324e-d99a-4f55-872d-bd3eb2d5d2f5.jpg?v=1571611427 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290616 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290616_LR_6658f8f2-8637-40f3-baf0-5c756dab9c3b.jpg?v=1571611427 We just don’t see eye to eye anymore. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290618 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290618_LR_806dbc65-eed6-4dee-8b26-49acdfe3a1ad.jpg?v=1571611427 I’ve already had three days off sick this month. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290619 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290619_LR_c71a24ff-2897-4110-8b08-2c3a71dd59f9.jpg?v=1571611427 You need a second fitting. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290620 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290620_LR_b44a71f9-2d82-499d-a750-5b5b9e91b627.jpg?v=1571611427 What’s it like for cornering? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290621 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290621_LR_d4473ce3-d6c8-411e-98c0-fd47bd36c8e1.jpg?v=1571611427 O’Reilly, did you leave this junk on my desk? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290622 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290622_LR_edf16c0e-de3a-4e07-905a-489210592423.jpg?v=1571611427 Did you advertise for an experienced salesman in ladies underwear? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290623 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290623_LR_a7d93eb8-9c10-4747-acf7-b8e1033b6e99.jpg?v=1571611427 Do you have to remember my birthday every year? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290625 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290625_LR_3bd6fd3d-c337-4d3d-8597-ac669e6c9f86.jpg?v=1571611428 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290626 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290626_LR_22d16dd3-4eeb-43db-a170-992fc7998666.jpg?v=1571611428 Do you seriously expect me to hurtle through the air at 30,000 feet and not smoke? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290627 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290627_LR_19fa55d8-b3a1-4b0c-afb6-db054faa0223.jpg?v=1571611428 He moved! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290628 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290628_LR_dc101636-973c-4f1f-a4a8-a887f19f8390.jpg?v=1571611428 He stole $15 million, your honor. He wants to plead ‘guilty with a good excuse.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290629 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290629_LR_12b32f53-02bf-4cc4-8b4c-e41eeec87590.jpg?v=1571611428 Mr. Bixby is out to lunch at the moment. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290630 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290630_LR_4fcd94b6-9173-438e-a776-d7d10b5f8881.jpg?v=1571611428 Keep talking. I’m just going to take a nap. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290702 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290702_LR_3f41c38e-e61c-4f19-a7f0-fc9749a337b9.jpg?v=1571611428 So this is the best movie your sister has ever seen. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290703 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290703_LR_08ff4a8e-7bc1-47ff-bfa2-b3d43daac16a.jpg?v=1571611428 I got a date. Mom said I could borrow your coat. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290704 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290704_LR_aeabde17-d9f8-4e37-8b71-4ea784ef4afd.jpg?v=1571611428 Got a 38-inch waist in dark gray? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290705 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290705_LR_9cedc1de-6efc-446c-9ae6-490f64f8f206.jpg?v=1571611428 Two coffees, one decaffeinated. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290706 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290706_LR_b8f71e3d-cb46-494d-9e15-b6b1913940cc.jpg?v=1571611428 They may need a minor adjustment. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290707 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290707_LR_4db3a72d-c5a8-438f-af77-0137d774adff.jpg?v=1571611428 Will I what?! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290709 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290709_LR_035d958a-0aa9-44d0-a319-3095f973f134.jpg?v=1571611428 He had to give up the shoe-repair business. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290710 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290710_LR_2858f823-5d1f-4424-83e2-c0cd5ffc8766.jpg?v=1571611428 It’s the results of that cooking competition. You’ve been awarded a ‘black belt.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290711 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290711_LR_430393ae-1120-4c93-95a1-8f010eac8455.jpg?v=1571611428 You see any rust? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290712 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290712_LR_e8613bde-88e4-492e-afac-c39c44f93b6b.jpg?v=1571611428 Today’s diet; one spoonful of peas and half a carrot. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290713 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290713_LR_f0f47732-8b96-4500-94f1-13d14759c482.jpg?v=1571611428 To be honest, I’d heard you’d gone abroad. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290714 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290714_LR_2b7ec38b-a00b-4e51-910c-d761a9787250.jpg?v=1571611428 Stay away from that cake in the . https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290716 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290716_LR_6b4bd3a6-0fe0-4103-8fba-dc04d6853371.jpg?v=1571611428 Caught any murderers lately? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290717 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290717_LR_6d485af1-17ab-4e73-9b0b-09a09a56af18.jpg?v=1571611428 How am I supposed to guess the size over the phone? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290718 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290718_LR_efe47392-8dcc-4ed8-bda6-7484a837562b.jpg?v=1571611428 We’re not doing 3,500 miles an hour. That’s the tachometer. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290719 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290719_LR_97d56cfa-0761-424c-b002-b5b8904bb09f.jpg?v=1571611428 To avoid a repetition of yesterday, I bought you birthday cards for the next three years. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290720 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290720_LR_c866e61d-cfb4-4106-b36e-d0c5f0fad9e5.jpg?v=1571611428 I wouldn’t be able to see a thing if she hadn’t had her ears pierced. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290721 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290721_LR_85c7f720-3cbc-49cd-9d9f-edf6e70cf964.jpg?v=1571611428 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290723 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290723_LR_f3771fbd-119c-4df7-a15f-709a1565cef5.jpg?v=1571611428 What’s 13 hours off 65 years. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290724 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290724_LR_e779f0fc-c397-4167-be19-0af8b2ec57a3.jpg?v=1571611428 I just figured out we can buy 7,800 paper plates for the price of a dishwasher. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290725 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290725_LR_12d88394-9cec-4cd2-a2d2-6830e460890c.jpg?v=1571611428 You said I could bring it back if my wife didn’t like it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290726 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290726_LR_7d9777ba-52cf-4640-9732-608f3037b34c.jpg?v=1571611428 I caught a 7-pound frying pan here last month.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290727 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290727_LR_1d00369f-1095-41ee-948a-dd087513f98e.jpg?v=1571611429 Remember your blood pressure! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290728 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290728_LR_ba6b0b4b-7c01-4f80-a812-1cf1fd502a12.jpg?v=1571611429 What am I gonna do about you, Phillips? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290731 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290731_LR_6340b7ed-2dc1-43aa-b406-471b3f8237bc.jpg?v=1571611429 Yes, yes, I know it’s the other way! I’m going around the world. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290801 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290801_LR_f1b35211-6942-4585-b2fe-7046a02906ea.jpg?v=1571611429 I think I’ve discovered why you keep grinding your teeth. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290802 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290802_LR_50284597-62c3-42d8-bb6e-ae96ba01496a.jpg?v=1571611429 I can’t focus these binoculars. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290803 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290803_LR_0a1cc958-0601-4e31-b056-e8791e4694be.jpg?v=1571611429 I feel better when I can hear it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290804 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290804_LR_c097b245-fbfd-4c83-8184-ce1100d3efd2.jpg?v=1571611429 When I shout ‘waiter’, I expect you to come immediately. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290806 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290806_LR_445bfbef-50ad-4811-9da2-53db4f50f2ee.jpg?v=1571611429 Have you heard that expression, You are what you eat’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290807 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290807_LR_8f471041-a2a1-4771-a269-d315db0ad416.jpg?v=1571611429 Will you get a move on — I got 200 sheep double-parked! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290808 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290808_LR_6310b6e7-479d-45fb-ad48-c7147debabf6.jpg?v=1571611429 She wants something that you don’t use. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290809 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290809_LR_39f9ba10-5576-4cf0-b1b1-9a179e7f5127.jpg?v=1571611429 New airport security policiy. All passengers must have one. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290810 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290810_LR_e8a69509-5cb7-4159-b36c-cc06e2f7b29e.jpg?v=1571611429 I need another 3 1/2 inches. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290811 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290811_LR_dc75aaf2-d0f3-4431-b267-a88728e4862a.jpg?v=1571611429 Quit fooling around! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290813 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290813_LR_1703ec15-bc96-4ce9-9cd0-b0ee35793842.jpg?v=1571611429 Pass the ketchup and one of your sausages. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290814 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290814_LR_3aaab42e-7c2d-413e-8a0f-a546582daab9.jpg?v=1571611429 I did quite a bit of painting in the hospital. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290815 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290815_LR_b7649e9c-a6bf-4f7c-ace4-57465eab3731.jpg?v=1571611429 Quit arguing and give him the can opener. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290816 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290816_LR_7cf0f3e3-77db-4a00-9cb8-d1ac81238e83.jpg?v=1571611429 I don’t know what this is, but you need a new one. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290817 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290817_LR_1e33f19f-a632-410b-b739-2c718d9907eb.jpg?v=1571611429 Don’t laugh, my wife thinks I’m in South America with two million bucks. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290818 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290818_LR_efbf851c-63e0-4e6f-9698-5741ccfbe3dd.jpg?v=1571611429 I’ve looked everywhere, I can’t find your glasses. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290820 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290820_LR_e9aa6009-d209-4c30-bfa3-a3d073a732b7.jpg?v=1571611429 This is one of his earlier works. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290821 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290821_LR_a9b58412-c8f6-4740-8c30-9dea06730110.jpg?v=1571611429 Is this allowed? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290822 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290822_LR_0cc7e4d3-db6e-47be-b99c-681bb56a35e9.jpg?v=1571611429 Fifty-four cents in change, a book of matches and a bottle opener. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290823 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290823_LR_da9fc1db-bda4-4aa7-9a65-981cb09772aa.jpg?v=1571611429 Gimme a trim around the cap. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290824 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290824_LR_c50b2331-b565-492e-a9ac-2723b0f8c20a.jpg?v=1571611429 Don’t use that thing, I’ll get the spray. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290825 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290825_LR_d515f03d-9558-4f42-bc4a-50c8cc553f29.jpg?v=1571611429 This self-adjusting set is giving me the creeps! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290827 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290827_LR_403caf21-4f47-4c33-997e-1089c3f01a42.jpg?v=1571611429 Would you mind taking our picture? We forgot our camera. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290828 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290828_LR_741fbbf9-dcc7-42bd-b373-2048f178d04e.jpg?v=1571611429 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290829 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290829_LR_72334a6f-5dff-4d18-9d97-7f3f12e9fc6a.jpg?v=1571611429 The honeymoon suite is booked for another 20 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290830 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290830_LR_348af2cd-4788-4196-94b6-d214c4ec9c82.jpg?v=1571611429 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290831 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290831_LR_3f5ebb40-7f25-403a-bda3-705786955bb5.jpg?v=1571611429 I need something with controls in the back seat. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290901 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290901_LR_4a20e344-eceb-4403-b0ee-4c91c44c9d14.jpg?v=1571611429 I spilled my coffee on the computer! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290903 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290903_LR_e7805077-189f-4eb9-bb05-506e5bb35371.jpg?v=1571611429 Supper ready? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290904 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290904_LR_0084c1e0-7428-4816-8962-d26f0fb21fdb.jpg?v=1571611430 The airline lost my luggage again. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290905 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290905_LR_7680290d-3ee1-4ea4-aa6d-c1a84e26d33d.jpg?v=1571611430 I told you not to rent that one. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290906 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290906_LR_0d26e804-1ed9-4dc4-b88b-b24f8aec12fe.jpg?v=1571611430 It’ll speed things up if you order the meatloaf. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290907 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290907_LR_0ec40aff-837e-49b9-9672-bd3f47a64a3d.jpg?v=1571611430 Take it with meals? After I pay for these, how can I afford food? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290908 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290908_LR_cb952770-6931-4eca-95a6-297abea5b666.jpg?v=1571611430 Don’t keep changing your mind. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290910 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290910_LR_c75bbda8-6b6f-4979-a029-0307f245f0ca.jpg?v=1571611430 You’ll be hearing from my lawyer. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290911 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290911_LR_7ebf934e-eb4f-422f-b9e1-2af2502f17fa.jpg?v=1571611430 Okay, rinse. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290912 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290912_LR_bf61075b-1811-46db-8919-2e4109e413cb.jpg?v=1571611430 Do you want to share the cab? I haven’t got any money. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290913 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290913_LR_76cb59f3-bff8-4e06-86c7-f7bddf27027f.jpg?v=1571611430 Do you sell those invisible hearing aids? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290914 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290914_LR_5df4e370-4e1e-40e0-bcb9-485419c4198d.jpg?v=1571611430 I’ll sign my brother-in-law’s name ’till I get my memory back. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290915 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290915_LR_2f78511f-e2a6-472d-8d0a-397ef9df9cff.jpg?v=1571611430 Since she got her new teeth, she’s put on 60 pounds. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290917 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290917_LR_9af50340-cfe0-44f2-9409-9d9d4e5810b8.jpg?v=1571611430 It’s a par-12 till the groundskeeper gets his back pay. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290918 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290918_LR_98d4fc29-9796-4139-895f-176226d98bcd.jpg?v=1571611430 I can’t find my clean underwear. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290919 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290919_LR_75684f30-a4a7-44da-b45a-853bec53c18b.jpg?v=1571611430 Couldn’t he wait? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290920 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290920_LR_87eb6508-36c6-4374-a30f-f30ffa5c9716.jpg?v=1571611430 That’s if you have less than $8 in your account. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290921 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290921_LR_2129dce0-3950-40eb-9292-a5cd83094b49.jpg?v=1571611430 You told me to hang your mother’s picture in the hallway. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290922 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290922_LR_37e600e2-bc6e-4e57-98ba-efcec41dde79.jpg?v=1571611430 Not again! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290924 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290924_LR_b369aa6f-66d0-423c-affc-97afec7ac883.jpg?v=1571611430 Your last employer wants to know what you did with the canteen money. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290925 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290925_LR_9991f25b-651b-4fde-9c0c-0d61c5c35242.jpg?v=1571611430 I don’t need anything, dear. I’ll stay in bed until the fever dies down. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290926 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290926_LR_885e40d7-d973-4a9d-87be-1ce7a0eb3fd7.jpg?v=1571611430 She changed her mind. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290927 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290927_LR_f1d89665-103b-452f-af05-416f08e1dc58.jpg?v=1571611430 You’re quite a puzzle, aren’t you? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290928 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290928_LR_4b48ffdd-f49f-461e-b057-e3d64d231764.jpg?v=1571611430 I told you you were putting on weight. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290929 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290929_LR_10f1e0ee-386b-486a-b544-17e6c9cb99c5.jpg?v=1571611430 I ran out of newspapers. Whaddyer want to know? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291001 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291001_LR_ac34837e-bdeb-4f27-8994-04787669b9d6.jpg?v=1571611430 This is my rent check. Make sure it circles the globe a few times. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291002 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291002_LR_d8c6b3f8-3ad2-4099-b79f-30252d899414.jpg?v=1571611430 He thinks a chiropractor is an Egyptian doctor. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291003 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291003_LR_3de45ad1-2adb-49fa-bbb9-4bbb6f69bb4a.jpg?v=1571611430 Gimme 15 seconds’ worth of premium. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291004 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291004_LR_8ce6287d-a4ba-4fc5-a22c-90bd91c571b6.jpg?v=1571611430 Her idea of a balanced diet is four pounds of chocolate with four pounds of cake. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291005 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291005_LR_800bc743-d7b5-4c58-bda5-b51908b30455.jpg?v=1571611431 Hold it! Hold it! My whole life is flashing before my eyes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291006 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291006_LR_f62787ad-9e72-497e-9207-cc5eeaaeed33.jpg?v=1571611431 How much longer are you going to be on that phone? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291008 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291008_LR_665115ec-b6cc-42bd-85dc-298352d302c2.jpg?v=1571611431 Go and find someplace to plug that in. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291009 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291009_LR_9e42deb9-8400-401d-8fa6-90f19db6b3dd.jpg?v=1571611431 First, a light dusting of defoliant. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291010 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291010_LR_c00a6a5c-c4f2-48a6-b25a-d567f3e45a1b.jpg?v=1571611431 Harold, the doctor said to quit the office job because you kept bringing your work home. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291011 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291011_LR_8f867434-83b7-4bed-b12e-bdae88ce39db.jpg?v=1571611431 If you only knew. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291012 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291012_LR_113c033d-4269-49d6-ba65-c5fe45a1e27f.jpg?v=1571611431 I’ll call you back in a couple of days. I’m pretty busy right now. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291013 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291013_LR_3b50570d-3d40-453a-a303-91f48cb61184.jpg?v=1571611431 You didn’t tell me I had to turn. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291015 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291015_LR_b04a0249-e25c-4015-a72d-1c22e817b8f8.jpg?v=1571611431 Two eighty-five? Here, take the $3 and drive another 100 yards. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291016 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291016_LR_165d6589-11df-402d-a2fc-1b41852fad53.jpg?v=1571611431 I sent my boy to study in Florida. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291017 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291017_LR_ac2818aa-1379-42da-b13f-4999d99c1d9a.jpg?v=1571611431 Why do you always have to make a contest out of everything? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291018 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291018_LR_f69b3d29-e03d-4bbd-a38c-1c5f79159322.jpg?v=1571611431 One day, Damien, this will all belong to you. Three weeks later, it will all belong to the bank. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291019 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291019_LR_a2ee32d4-f6bc-4027-9bae-0fc02ac85721.jpg?v=1571611431 How do you expect me to average 55 miles an hour if I don’t speed? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291020 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291020_LR_e66f8d1b-9b14-4a2a-a937-4d9e2c271446.jpg?v=1571611431 I’ll get that adjusted. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291022 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291022_LR_8262e9d4-6145-4195-b304-b2a702b7d69f.jpg?v=1571611431 I lost the five grand. What’s our next step? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291023 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291023_LR_4006e3f6-8075-4ce5-99f9-88a44a67bc3b.jpg?v=1571611431 Looks all right to me. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291024 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291024_LR_48ce6116-d1d8-468d-8710-1e9a638dde8a.jpg?v=1571611431 I phoned your office and they didn’t even know you were off sick. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291025 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291025_LR_480c3785-a6cb-4bb3-a9c9-2e1c2d386b45.jpg?v=1571611431 Your honor, if my client is found not guilty, he could lose more than $2 million in book royalties alone. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291026 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291026_LR_6b707cae-286e-4d0c-a45f-79ef00f41419.jpg?v=1571611431 If you could afford the fare, I’d suggest Brazil. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291027 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291027_LR_ba91d806-89f3-48fb-899e-d79bc1cf0632.jpg?v=1571611431 That’s what you pointed at in the tank! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291029 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291029_LR_bd6fef07-b93c-4e52-806c-48d23bbd3ac9.jpg?v=1571611431 Happy birthday, Ralph. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291030 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291030_LR_93e2dd73-f077-40c5-938a-d42da7040197.jpg?v=1571611431 Don’t creep around. I heard the garage door three minutes ago. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291031 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291031_LR_33454f43-92a0-4895-98b0-f8bc666dffb9.jpg?v=1571611431 You promised me you’d get a haircut. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291101 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291101_LR_63a9dce8-e9e7-4ccd-8ea1-c764bb8f2c63.jpg?v=1571611431 How long before the snake comes out? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291102 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291102_LR_a05fdce5-01cf-430a-bbb1-c5047b44bb75.jpg?v=1571611431 This must be the middle of nowhere. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291103 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291103_LR_9b58b83b-22eb-4d39-bfb1-694903337df9.jpg?v=1571611431 It’s our ‘pre-Christmas giveaway.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291105 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291105_LR_964f42f4-296c-4a8c-8386-53633c9b6bb8.jpg?v=1571611431 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291106 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291106_LR_99f4bdf4-7d39-43ce-9eee-3fc80dd3b2f4.jpg?v=1571611431 She needs wider skis. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291107 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291107_LR_f337a0d0-ea7f-4ca8-9a3b-f8254e085791.jpg?v=1571611431 Did you tell him he could play with that paint? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291108 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291108_LR_4cbcb3e1-1a22-40c5-9ec9-5daebbe7e9f6.jpg?v=1571611431 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291109 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291109_LR_b46e93cd-642a-4f92-bb03-3caac7d9613f.jpg?v=1571611431 How’s your hay fever, Mother? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291110 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291110_LR_b82f5d46-755f-49e4-9356-0b236eff1f21.jpg?v=1571611431 Mr. Picasso, I’ll be able to work only a half-day Thursday. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291112 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291112_LR_54d58367-d3b7-406e-8814-fe6f08887df9.jpg?v=1571611432 If you order the chili, I need to know your next-of-kin. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291113 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291113_LR_195fb7b0-6687-4ee4-a5a7-3bfc60acb72b.jpg?v=1571611432 I told you not to marry her. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291114 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291114_LR_98ad0aef-8492-4d4b-898f-be879723118d.jpg?v=1571611432 How much is $17 worth in Portugal? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291115 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291115_LR_f68793a9-88ad-4429-bc3e-6e6f8c9d35c8.jpg?v=1571611432 OK, buddy. Let me see your license. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291116 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291116_LR_823aec5f-2872-49bc-8362-f923a51e3b42.jpg?v=1571611432 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291117 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291117_LR_60b3fe32-832d-442b-9759-7941cc0d70a3.jpg?v=1571611432 It’s either two guys carrying a canoe or a long horse wearing sneakers. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291119 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291119_LR_f7a92396-20bc-49b4-afc6-1236dbc6e903.jpg?v=1571611432 He’s never far from his stamp collection. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291120 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291120_LR_fe043e5b-bae8-476b-9da4-940fa83b2f06.jpg?v=1571611432 It’s OK, officer. She’s looking for the emergency brake. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291121 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291121_LR_c93e1e48-24ed-4a0e-86fc-ab7c9b0ed6ba.jpg?v=1571611432 We’ve got to leave in four hours. Here’s your lipstick! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291122 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291122_LR_66ad3122-dbab-4505-8571-f059f9cd61a4.jpg?v=1571611432 Sixty-six flavors. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291123 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291123_LR_e665c353-3650-4c4b-884d-4201f7ad5e6a.jpg?v=1571611432 We’re still married, but we’re separated. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291124 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291124_LR_0a4916e8-af91-4eac-b0a9-b116d83022dd.jpg?v=1571611432 If you hadn’t been hiding behind the bushes, I wouldn’t have been speeding. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291126 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291126_LR_1a667507-1b3e-4b1b-8200-47b78dc9919f.jpg?v=1571611432 I’m collecting for Muggers Anonymous. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291127 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291127_LR.jpg?v=1571611432 I warned you about pulling out gray hairs. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291128 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291128_LR_bddd9ff0-4dde-4555-b53c-a13222648362.jpg?v=1571611432 He’s a speed-reader. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291129 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291129_LR_ad9bba61-ec13-4fa2-b8fd-c2b10df51337.jpg?v=1571611432 My money’s on him. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291130 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291130_LR_8c6f411b-bb5d-485b-92a8-aad3a5b0c587.jpg?v=1571611432 Dozen long-stemmed roses. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291201 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291201_LR_c41f4124-b6f3-4e86-9b57-1478009ffc2c.jpg?v=1571611432 I’m sorry. What more can I say! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291203 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291203_LR_20afd346-0883-4941-970f-57f74a28e6b3.jpg?v=1571611432 I don’t know how long I’ve been waiting. He’s got my watch. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291204 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291204_LR_23baca2b-bbea-47bc-8cff-c6e3b32b9970.jpg?v=1571611432 I’ll need a full-length photograph with this loan application. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291205 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291205_LR_1e713ecf-40f6-48ff-83bb-be457a491d7e.jpg?v=1571611432 I don’t suppose you’ve got a bottle of Thousand Island salad dressing in your pocket, do you? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291206 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291206_LR_8629579b-1e50-4f0b-8b35-2ab096ff18ca.jpg?v=1571611432 Mind if we play through? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291207 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291207_LR_4ca80cd2-f9b2-44c9-92ec-5c892db851cd.jpg?v=1571611432 This toaster’s gotta go back! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291208 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291208_LR.jpg?v=1571611432 Let me put it this way… for your weight you should be thirty-seven feet tall. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291210 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291210_LR.jpg?v=1571611432 Okay, we need volunteers to play ‘Beat the Croc.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291211 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291211_LR_3781011e-0f82-475a-8fc2-b77e36dceea3.jpg?v=1571611432 The museum does not require you to wash the 5,000-year-old jugs. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291212 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291212_LR_5d2f04a2-4cc2-489c-9842-a17dec01d32a.jpg?v=1571611432 I recommend the ketchup. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291213 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291213_LR_b1dbd431-492f-4306-aa55-c09ca1c0bdf2.jpg?v=1571611432 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291214 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291214_LR_3a059e30-a67f-4e02-b265-01f8b02efebb.jpg?v=1571611432 Now do you believe me Herman?… is that a sand-trap or is that a sand-trap?! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291215 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291215_LR_cd45e842-ad60-4a3c-ac87-281084b2b11b.jpg?v=1571611432 I can imagine the fuss you’d make if I walked around dressed like that! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291217 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291217_LR_33318c75-de76-4b29-9f11-f14d465e90ed.jpg?v=1571611432 You’d better get a good grip on that net, Herman. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291218 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291218_LR_c1890fe6-93ba-486b-b392-8c532353b0ab.jpg?v=1571611432 No, no, no! Two is load… THREE is fire! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291219 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291219_LR_e1925827-b651-4a9d-b889-9a906d644829.jpg?v=1571611433 Whadyer mean we don’t need any brushes?! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291220 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291220_LR_153ac68c-7460-4d75-9c01-41349d95512e.jpg?v=1571611433 Whadyer mean the needle’s broken off? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291221 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291221_LR_f6a5eb92-89cf-4b1a-b52c-de9694af770a.jpg?v=1571611433 Imagine those crooks wanting eleven bucks to fix this! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291222 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291222_LR_db4decc7-d72a-4390-896d-68627bf31ebb.jpg?v=1571611433 I’ll give you two clues: We get Wild Kingdom on every channel and the cat’s missing. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291224 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291224_LR_5a9f0ed9-cdc8-4851-a60c-28b5d3ce85ae.jpg?v=1571611433 Don’t go too far tonight — you’ll miss ‘Seinfeld.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291225 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291225_LR_bab8d3c0-9f56-4ac1-81da-3f995ca49dd4.jpg?v=1571611433 Nice work Spike, you’ve hurt his arm. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291226 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291226_LR_0e43d76c-e15f-479d-b860-20417122d205.jpg?v=1571611433 Take your foot off the stupid brake! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291227 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291227_LR_199382d3-e45e-46e3-8079-c4ed7f649635.jpg?v=1571611433 Why doesn’t he throw it at the one who cooks it? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291228 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291228_LR_55d2e701-faca-4ce9-adc8-84029b1d8f27.jpg?v=1571611433 Two weeks of jogging and so far he’s made it to the front door. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291229 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291229_LR_a13a382b-a56c-49d2-b1ef-a127a9da6b67.jpg?v=1571611433 I don’t care if you did miss the last bus… GET OFF. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm291231 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM291231_LR_29428a8c-99d9-4e31-b7c0-f2ae8cecf342.jpg?v=1571611433 If she has one more birthday, this whole place is gonna go up! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300101 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300101_LR_adf68247-7b73-4295-b835-eef6bc53ea54.jpg?v=1571611433 Can you remember where I bought this suit? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300102 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300102_LR_e19666c0-4a43-46e4-be91-2a0c32637635.jpg?v=1571611433 I appreciate you’ve got a wife and six kids but you can’t wash apartment windows in that rig. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300103 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300103_LR_6743724c-2d72-41e2-8ba2-f5b3bd0d2235.jpg?v=1571611433 Father, I cannot tell a lie… George Washington did it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300104 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300104_LR_be6306ff-75d7-4fa5-9467-a880dfc43844.jpg?v=1571611433 What’s the chances of time off for good behavior? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300105 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300105_LR_82def361-5cd1-4350-b7c6-3fa319c2d0d1.jpg?v=1571611433 They think of everything… That’s in case you forget your key. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300107 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300107_LR_f80ab9f3-0b05-4a22-8ba1-a1c43b09e563.jpg?v=1571611433 Isn’t it time he went to bed? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300108 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300108_LR_e14ececd-111b-45dd-86da-0ebe423edb7e.jpg?v=1571611433 It’s done wonders for his self-confidence since we had his teeth capped. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300109 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300109_LR_57bcc1e0-a976-4c21-8262-73b6277ed2b2.jpg?v=1571611433 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300110 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300110_LR_3e605d15-5432-4436-a932-37cac6f16580.jpg?v=1571611433 Just half your money… I got an arrangement with the guy in the next bush! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300111 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300111_LR.jpg?v=1571611433 I just spent $8,000 having this room sound proofed. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300112 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300112_LR_4b70b008-2fb2-4514-b7ff-e8c50955ee5f.jpg?v=1571611433 Will that do? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300114 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300114_LR_fc34c271-6641-4722-a623-e0f52821d45d.jpg?v=1571611433 At a time when everybody’s supposed to be conserving energy… you’re certainly doing your bit. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300115 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300115_LR.jpg?v=1571611433 Nice try! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300116 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300116_LR_4f4812c7-ae86-4f99-88f6-d1459dfdd854.jpg?v=1571611433 Don’t take any notice… He’s trying to quit smoking. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300117 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300117_LR.jpg?v=1571611433 Herman’s so considerate when I’m sick… brought the washer and dryer up to the bedroom. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300118 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300118_LR_a613768c-06fd-4a54-9ef2-5499afd9f4ea.jpg?v=1571611433 What did you spoil his tiger trap for? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300119 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300119_LR_d22de239-ab04-45b8-bf95-9ac04b4445e9.jpg?v=1571611433 He’s doing two weeks ‘solitary’! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300121 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300121_LR_00572a85-a9cf-4b7d-89b4-a71604f1fbf6.jpg?v=1571611433 Forgive the intrusion… I wonder if you’d mind telling the janitor the elevator’s stuck? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300122 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300122_LR.jpg?v=1571611433 No I don’t know what sort it is but all my instincts tell me we should be about forty miles away when it hatches. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300123 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300123_LR_20a0b94b-8606-4e69-a111-fa38eb359757.jpg?v=1571611433 Okay that’s it… that’s the last time he watches Jackie Chan! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300124 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300124_LR_fc892084-c2be-4449-b9e9-ee85e5e89e8c.jpg?v=1571611433 How do you want your eggs… black or dark brown? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300125 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300125_LR_c41f599a-bda6-40dc-8be4-f8b8bb81d7da.jpg?v=1571611434 What was that? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300126 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300126_LR_e9c31587-7d54-4f7f-93b2-c32c3e20a2a9.jpg?v=1571611434 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300128 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300128_LR_4820c711-e8da-4633-9ad7-f8c9fb4764d9.jpg?v=1571611434 They’ve cured my arthritis! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300129 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300129_LR_a8694f36-56c3-4940-82d6-494794779433.jpg?v=1571611434 Testing… testing… one, two, three. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300130 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300130_LR_15e1198b-27c6-4a15-ab22-d9ed829eb57e.jpg?v=1571611434 What are the chances of becoming a pirate? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300131 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300131_LR_6e0091f7-f4aa-4a4e-8035-ce761c10ddac.jpg?v=1571611434 Will you quit shouting ‘land on the starboard beam’ while we’re in port! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300201 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300201_LR_69dbefe0-cd23-4430-aed3-fc02d67cff66.jpg?v=1571611434 Take it easy with him — his wife just had triplets. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300202 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300202_LR_5abe34ba-504f-4339-a526-1ebd39f0c831.jpg?v=1571611434 Has he had his dinner? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300205 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300205_LR_b2f96f0d-c367-4326-a90a-9f92fc0d048a.jpg?v=1571611434 Now don’t start practicing ‘til Daddy gets down the road… and I’ll pick you up in two hours. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300206 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300206_LR_00ac123e-ea03-4e3c-b1b5-ec816a049eaa.jpg?v=1571611434 You’re using my athlete’s foot ointment. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300207 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300207_LR_321f9b4a-f81d-4e93-91be-17bfd1178bcf.jpg?v=1571611434 Okay… here’s the results of your medical. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300208 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300208_LR_d34f7fd4-fe91-4473-8ed9-c66e054ed1b6.jpg?v=1571611434 Twenty bucks I paid for this and it hasn’t rung once! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300209 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300209_LR_3c0df735-26a3-4595-b52f-04fa7510e693.jpg?v=1571611434 Er, Doc… can he have a quick look at your diploma? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300211 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300211_LR_3ab0ef3e-0570-4337-93ba-245f7249c331.jpg?v=1571611434 How many times have I told you to wear your helmet? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300212 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300212_LR_8face605-6203-494e-a9f1-4617bdfab3b6.jpg?v=1571611434 I wish you wouldn’t talk about buying a dog when he’s listening. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300213 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300213_LR_317efd99-6dfd-459d-baaa-88d9cade3ebc.jpg?v=1571611434 Don’t sit on the bean-bag chair… it’s got a split in it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300214 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300214_LR.jpg?v=1571611434 I sometimes wonder if you hear one word I say! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300215 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300215_LR_b943cc9c-da91-4451-81e4-918c9eaf84b9.jpg?v=1571611434 Herman, your doctor told you to get away and RELAX. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300216 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300216_LR_6c85dcf1-5a33-4d08-bd62-8be1e724e4ac.jpg?v=1571611434 A-B-C-E… G. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300218 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300218_LR_c05c6766-b54a-4746-8917-99378400687b.jpg?v=1571611434 Herman, Grannie’s leg just fell off! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300220 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300220_LR_58d3770e-2a0c-4943-afbe-7b10598e0fb9.jpg?v=1571611434 This is Herman. I won’t be in. The old lady’s sick. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300221 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300221_LR_b13c42f8-e816-41ad-813a-00b2c2ab4766.jpg?v=1571611434 Next door wants ‘The Blue Danube.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300222 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300222_LR_e05fce14-eb58-495f-b2b1-052ce6227c75.jpg?v=1571611434 It says; ‘Come in number 10, your hour’s up! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300223 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300223_LR_83783332-ab32-4ae1-b1cb-d2de3838cf2d.jpg?v=1571611434 Hey! Is there another word for ‘Verily’ that starts with a ‘B’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300225 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300225_LR.jpg?v=1571611434 I know it’s your first day, but you’ve got to accept the fact that some customers are just ‘lookers.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300226 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300226_LR_c1690d10-437e-41b3-9488-5f8e088faf17.jpg?v=1571611434 You wouldn’t believe how tough it is to get him up in the morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300227 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300227_LR_b1d82cc6-9e88-4efc-a91e-75f6de8c96a0.jpg?v=1571611434 Allow me to introduce myself… I’m a basketball talent scout. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300228 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300228_LR_d565ee73-5b9f-4389-9455-5cdbb0091912.jpg?v=1571611434 Stop complaining. How often does she get to see a drive-in movie? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300301 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300301_LR_fc3d2429-1488-43ee-b848-3b27e7466fa5.jpg?v=1571611435 I’ll never forget the time you strapped me for talking in class. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300302 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300302_LR_ca9aa998-3711-4ccf-adce-a4cd7c2999ee.jpg?v=1571611435 Why don’t you wear long socks ‘til he learns to tell the difference? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300304 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300304_LR_022141d1-312e-4257-9931-543ecca7b163.jpg?v=1571611435 He’s allergic to carrots. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300305 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300305_LR_f96675c7-d5fa-49a5-8a4e-b06104140351.jpg?v=1571611435 Did you forget to water my plants while I was away? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300306 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300306_LR_d7ab8d83-c37b-4871-8c55-620c07b79533.jpg?v=1571611435 I make it three million shopping days to Christmas. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300307 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300307_LR.jpg?v=1571611435 Listen, if we get this right, we’ll be famous. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300308 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300308_LR_0b04c742-4d47-4f10-a738-fa5cfc4d666e.jpg?v=1571611435 I really look forward to your cheery little visits. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300309 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300309_LR_3f3e3cb0-fe3b-497d-9e78-7d6951ea8ac1.jpg?v=1571611435 One more ‘Olé!’ and you can cut the grass yourself. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300311 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300311_LR_8888cd61-4fd9-4def-8536-4b762a93cc71.jpg?v=1571611435 Well, now we know what all that noise was about last night. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300312 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300312_LR_eaf08838-7303-45ce-be79-26554d1850a4.jpg?v=1571611435 Two million years ago, it ate nothing but caterpillars. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300313 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300313_LR_b67fbdc4-f7fa-41bf-bcb5-114ffb449042.jpg?v=1571611435 Would it help any if I started sending your alimony weekly? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300314 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300314_LR_76e4483a-4cd0-4dc5-9d84-89529134ebd5.jpg?v=1571611435 He’s kicking my seat again… I thought you were going to say something. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300315 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300315_LR_82b47763-0397-44e3-bcec-ba8aa5d3255c.jpg?v=1571611435 Get your boots off. I just scrubbed the floor. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300316 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300316_LR_daca7ed5-5520-4f6e-b2e7-cada01a4a488.jpg?v=1571611435 My ‘Secrets of Life’ are now available on Blu-ray for only $9.95. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300318 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300318_LR_83735cff-ab3e-4180-a550-90bf7aa53d8b.jpg?v=1571611435 Me and the boys were trying to guess how you spell your name. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300319 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300319_LR_b5ac5b56-cbac-4605-b469-de6874598887.jpg?v=1571611435 Sorry! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300320 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300320_LR_7efdd19e-daed-4f48-9a71-6eff903ff741.jpg?v=1571611435 Couldn’t resist, could you? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300321 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300321_LR_723120be-cc8d-4267-8195-297b3271b006.jpg?v=1571611435 Listen, there’s nothing in my contract about walking back with ten coffees and eight hamburgers! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300322 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300322_LR_f6acdda1-388d-40ff-a099-a255b4100ca1.jpg?v=1571611435 Members of the jury, have you reached a verdict? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300323 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300323_LR_3a137efe-cb66-4723-b203-8adeea20caf5.jpg?v=1571611435 I may as well tell you, that’s the last one we’ve got in your size. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300325 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300325_LR_a65230f6-8f9d-4550-ba69-2ac9bb7f7626.jpg?v=1571611435 This TV dinner’s got wires in it! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300326 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300326_LR_968e7db9-47cc-4585-9cd8-1816e081509b.jpg?v=1571611435 That’s it, help him with his homework… at least we won’t have to worry about college. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300327 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300327_LR_885c7e6a-1cda-47a1-b35d-1015fbcf447c.jpg?v=1571611435 Just you start something. My husband’s a karate expert. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300328 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300328_LR_79d43bc0-ad94-4e73-bdf0-2aa2fcbae55a.jpg?v=1571611435 I’ll come back later when you’re not busy. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300329 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300329_LR_937530e7-1342-4a09-86ca-5e95be707801.jpg?v=1571611435 I told him he needed more feathers. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300330 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300330_LR_8346d4d1-3fd6-43bc-8ca5-f018db25abfd.jpg?v=1571611435 Hey Michelangelo… I thought I said two coats of oyster white for the ceiling. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300401 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300401_LR_2cf5272e-f7b2-4a11-8140-9cb91c3e016a.jpg?v=1571611435 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300402 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300402_LR_936dd1c9-7ad1-49bc-8474-afa40ea176d8.jpg?v=1571611435 Why can’t you dry your feet with a towel like everybody else? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300403 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300403_LR_c311a5e2-8bed-4318-956b-89b549efa041.jpg?v=1571611435 I can’t get a cab, Herman… we’ll have to go on the bus! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300404 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300404_LR_c8bb674e-053b-40d8-89f6-9c5104d90887.jpg?v=1571611435 You ever known a day to drag like this? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300405 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300405_LR_57433cd4-c966-4586-8f87-22a1a3ce52fa.jpg?v=1571611435 Try to relax… he can smell fear. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300406 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300406_LR_26bad52d-9bb5-471b-83e1-b4bcfbb80b97.jpg?v=1571611435 Had any luck? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300408 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300408_LR_008fc159-60aa-4630-bfe2-6f5dc352f7c5.jpg?v=1571611436 Herman, I can see perfectly well without a chair to stand on… Herman!!! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300409 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300409_LR_e3eccae5-27e0-466e-b9c1-58bc69561a0a.jpg?v=1571611436 Listen, I gotta go. There’s a guy waiting to use the phone. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300410 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300410_LR_83947a07-44f6-475e-a9c4-6574a9c11dcf.jpg?v=1571611436 Whadyer mean you wanna marry my daughter. I thought you were my daughter! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300411 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300411_LR_a296cd79-c8da-4829-95f2-857742234c5e.jpg?v=1571611436 You know, a brain like yours is wasted cutting grass. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300412 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300412_LR_58f7cda2-d5c3-4fe0-8824-e3f767ec7521.jpg?v=1571611436 Well if we can’t cure it, you can always get a job in a restaurant. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300413 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300413_LR_b3c918ed-9f81-4af8-b1fd-54a18f053136.jpg?v=1571611436 Why don’t you buy it?… It obviously likes you. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300415 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300415_LR_b6c765be-cb24-443f-83ca-9a5ba5027d79.jpg?v=1571611436 I thought you said you had experience in this type of work. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300416 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300416_LR_59983a60-4c96-4c54-89ef-f5f05d251a57.jpg?v=1571611436 Next. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300417 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300417_LR_12e48511-4aa0-43c8-8c4f-b0eca84f93c7.jpg?v=1571611436 Boy! You sure know how to break a vow of silence. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300418 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300418_LR_18893b4f-d264-4f07-b0e8-c60f63162090.jpg?v=1571611436 One seat at the front and one seat at the back. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300419 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300419_LR_09085e59-48e7-44e1-bb0a-24d206e0639b.jpg?v=1571611436 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300420 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300420_LR_71b11d57-9ef4-4609-b7f4-eba582c3856f.jpg?v=1571611436 Will you stop complaining?! You’re the one who didn’t want separate vacations. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300422 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300422_LR_131fa694-0baa-4601-ab0d-bca44bacdf2f.jpg?v=1571611436 I hope it’s not inconvenient. We’re your new neighbors. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300423 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300423_LR.jpg?v=1571611436 It’s a guy named Columbus. it’s okay, he’s only staying a couple of hours. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300424 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300424_LR_b3dd2a24-1562-4904-991b-33f067ff2abb.jpg?v=1571611436 Good morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300425 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300425_LR_f34422ea-7fd4-4e95-b7bf-0a6cb4d1d0e0.jpg?v=1571611436 This looks good… Mexican Curry for a dollar twenty-five. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300426 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300426_LR_84e0ba39-38a3-4fe4-9392-92d7145f326c.jpg?v=1571611436 Come and see what’s gonna do away with electric clocks. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300427 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300427_LR_e7c8e68b-2b0f-4bd2-a012-df99098374ec.jpg?v=1571611436 Now don’t tell me your old vacuum cleaner can do that. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300429 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300429_LR_2229f54a-96df-4731-939f-ef491a87c1dc.jpg?v=1571611436 Come along, dear. Grandpa never was very musical. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300430 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300430_LR_985f8d63-e6e4-435d-953c-7879dc2fad9d.jpg?v=1571611436 I’m giving thanks for hamburger. Give me half-a-pound. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300501 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300501_LR_38453929-e7bd-4579-ade7-3b198c951a17.jpg?v=1571611436 Your mother warned me you’d start complaining about your food. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300502 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300502_LR_a720dea7-c2ce-4903-84f7-65336a32835f.jpg?v=1571611436 Nothing to declare. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300503 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300503_LR_8b9c60b6-b179-4f2d-a17b-782f66e8f35a.jpg?v=1571611436 Don’t look at me like that. He chose it! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300504 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300504_LR_eddeea29-8bcd-41cd-aebd-78e1ce9fcfc7.jpg?v=1571611436 I know it’s three o’clock in the morning but I wanted to tell you how much I’m enjoying the singing. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300506 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300506_LR_374c40f4-c52c-434e-b066-2ad19d3f91df.jpg?v=1571611436 Is there anything you need before I go? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300507 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300507_LR_52dd62f2-a37f-4a32-b7a8-e6d45eccfe16.jpg?v=1571611436 It’s the cook’s coffee-break, so eat your dessert first. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300508 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300508_LR_4f04dba2-cee8-40f4-a5a3-44e090a3f510.jpg?v=1571611436 Is that your idea of cutting down to two cigarettes a day? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300509 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300509_LR_15b04686-8587-4f07-84f3-cf04f36b9c16.jpg?v=1571611436 If I think it’s going to a good home, you can have it for twelve bucks. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300510 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300510_LR.jpg?v=1571611437 I thought you said you were coming home next Sunday. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300511 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300511_LR_85f300c8-02a6-4c45-8300-9d7069e7f10b.jpg?v=1571611437 Just as I thought… you need a new picture tube! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300513 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300513_LR_4abf929d-be2c-4062-a070-3cf06514d0be.jpg?v=1571611437 I can always tell when they’re wearing ‘elevator shoes.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300514 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300514_LR_f0136793-0b5c-40a3-aa51-348ef9b6f144.jpg?v=1571611437 Keep in mind you’re a guest on this bench. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300515 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300515_LR_8180bb6b-6d30-4065-adcc-2ec899196257.jpg?v=1571611437 I know you’re in bed with the flu, but I need the keys to the filing cabinet. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300516 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300516_LR_efcc9d20-a8e4-4187-9530-a7820b726d89.jpg?v=1571611437 I plugged it in to see if you’d fixed it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300517 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300517_LR_6e696b6f-309d-4298-a0d0-db331934a478.jpg?v=1571611437 I thought while I was getting the fuses, I’d pick up a few groceries. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300518 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300518_LR_43199edd-a4b4-4f4f-babd-e0765e21d6a0.jpg?v=1571611437 I don’t care how much he likes The Little Mermaid, I wanna watch baseball. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300520 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300520_LR_af6b6548-0e9d-4754-99a8-73ca938bfc18.jpg?v=1571611437 Ignore him. He knows he’s due for his annual shots. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300523 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300523_LR_47456189-82e8-4dfa-a764-406c1f20cceb.jpg?v=1571611437 Be careful what you say around him. He’s not as dumb as he looks. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm300524 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300524_LR_0b955cbf-bf31-4631-abe9-ad07f5099a2c.jpg?v=1571611437 Want me to check your biorhythms? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm290421 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM290421_LR.jpg?v=1571611437 I cannot drive with your foot hovering over the brake pedal! https://laughingstock.com/products/i-hate-to-mention-it-but-there-was-a-1-80-on-the-meter-when-i-hit-that-truck 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM770422.jpg?v=1571611437 I hate to mention it, but there was a $1.80 on the meter when I hit that truck. https://laughingstock.com/products/the-doctor-says-hell-see-the-gentleman-with-the-smallpox-first 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM780324_f4af5796-4f09-45d8-8c1d-d784081df938.jpg?v=1595035671 The Doctor says he'll see the gentleman with the smallpox first. https://laughingstock.com/products/butcher-harris-is-doing-this-one-tomorrow-morning 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM770928_b4080358-4541-4938-bb7d-a6189c142c79.jpg?v=1575496323 Butcher Harris is doing this one tomorrow morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm750301 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM750301_COA.jpg?v=1647010021 They think of everything… that’s in case you forget your key. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm750306 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm750307 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM750307.jpg?v=1571611437 NO CAPTION, fish sawing around fisherman on deck https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm770426 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM770426_447574e8-878e-4997-8883-df59133686f4.jpg?v=1647007365 Take a tip. Get yourself a couple of nice big caves and rent them out. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm770428 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/770428.jpg?v=1659290851 Let me guess. She gave you your money back. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm771025 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm800221 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM800221_0d5033ae-a958-4336-9495-f08fb30db1ed.jpg?v=1647007776 He’s here now! Seal off the building. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm810216 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM810216_225a0bcd-8753-49cf-88a0-c17e7814223d.jpg?v=1668553580 Take two of these with meals but no more than 30 a day. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831003 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831003_COA.jpg?v=1647009246 How can I find anything when you keep leaving this razor all over the bathroom? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831224 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831224_c5df488b-b3ab-4dfe-94fd-56fff4d9d663.jpg?v=1647009311 One egg sandwich with live entertainment, $12.50. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840502 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840615 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840615_COA.jpg?v=1647009890 Shouldn’t be more than ten minutes. He was in a locker at the airport. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840707 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280101 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840428 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840428.jpg?v=1668541675 Can’t you see I’m eating? Why don’t you push off and go look at the penguins? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm30102 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm30104 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm30105 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm30107 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm30108 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm30109 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm30110 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm30112 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm30115 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm30117 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm30118 2026-07-21T07:51:56-12:00 daily https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm30119 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