https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821111 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821111_69995652-0e62-4975-931b-04599f1c37fe.jpg?v=1571610947 Guy in the front row wants to know if you like blueberry or custard cream? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821112 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821112_b086e40e-3810-4e4c-9d01-2b1fc713473d.jpg?v=1571610947 Coffee is 50 cents for the first half-hour and 30 cents for each additional half-hour. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821113 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821113_8b11b894-ef09-4539-a2aa-c4f995c8ba2f.jpg?v=1571610947 The top keeps flying off this food mixer. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821115 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821115_7e58b1c3-0b10-4fd3-9cb2-f667236c1727.jpg?v=1571610947 That robot that replaced you at work has been laid off! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821116 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821116_0be62858-ead6-408b-926e-b514cbf300ef.jpg?v=1571610947 I like the color but won’t the water keep running out? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821117 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821117_59d36cd7-1cc4-46b5-92b9-e3214d946883.jpg?v=1571610947 I think that dark shadow is where I spilled some coffee. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821118 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821118_ea142f88-142b-44ba-be32-96ac3215e991.jpg?v=1571610947 Can you cut me a star-shaped piece of glass to fit that hole? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821119 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821119_96bfdcea-fa98-47cb-b079-ecbb01b29507.jpg?v=1571610947 You’re supposed to read it aloud! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821122 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821122_36b7a5fd-1a41-4442-87a3-bbc99c86c712.jpg?v=1571610947 Have you got any old bricks I can take to my karate lesson? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821125 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821125_5ebe2c1e-aefa-4876-89d3-d8e72e577a23.jpg?v=1571610947 The doctor thinks he’s going to be very musical. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821126 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821126_739c1c19-8955-4c02-ad54-a37ad35fb754.jpg?v=1571610947 Okay, you’ve got the job! On your mark, get set,… https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821127 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821127_bf2530da-4b6f-42f0-b99b-35c353c7f005.jpg?v=1571610947 I think we’ve decided on the ruby-and-diamond cluster. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821130 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821130_17978f43-bfde-4391-bb8b-2cf6a2c4c8b7.jpg?v=1571610947 Whaddya mean, ‘The strawberries aren’t fresh’? I just opened the can five minutes ago! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821201 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821201_f836fc42-94f8-4512-87cb-c19ff9f7519d.jpg?v=1571610947 Where did you put my book on archaeology? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821202 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821202_8b3745ca-79b8-4d5b-9220-dd6cd4720307.jpg?v=1571610947 George, how many years have I been coming in this candy store? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821203 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821203_cfc13e12-4bdc-476c-be5a-079dd516f7cb.jpg?v=1571610947 This wildlife book you sold me is nothing but animals! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821204 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821204_fbb4bba2-266f-46d4-82a0-4b77a97c5d57.jpg?v=1571610947 I told you last week I had to work late tonight! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821206 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821206_a04ef2ab-b378-4733-aad7-d8af759c90c0.jpg?v=1571610947 I don’t really want a diagnosis. What diseases have you got for under $50? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821210 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821210.jpg?v=1641596540 The TV keeps switching back to ‘Wild Kingdom’! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821211 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821211_6dd3da9b-94ba-4d1f-a2d1-ca0e34235c9b.jpg?v=1571610947 I need a dishwasher that can handle heavy, baked-on grease — three times a day. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821213 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821213_5a919624-91fe-40ff-8583-a613580bb64e.jpg?v=1571610947 Here… tell your mother we’re out. She won’t believe me. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821215 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821215_cc766c8c-1b9d-432f-a14c-e78fb825873e.jpg?v=1571610947 You won’t find a job in the Sports section! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821217 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821217_aab0664a-a63a-47e4-a469-375637187e44.jpg?v=1571610947 This rascal chased the wife’s mother 20 feet up a tree. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821218 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/821218.jpg?v=1659291740 You say you were inside robbing the bank and someone stole your car? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821220 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821220_ce583bac-e93a-4878-9e28-5e28cc4244f8.jpg?v=1571610948 You wouldn’t even have that job if my Grandpa hadn’t got the flu. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821221 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821221_53c80342-9d78-4d43-89ad-0d3df6d050da.jpg?v=1571610948 Mother sent us each a Christmas card. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821222 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821222_11914f55-d691-4c00-94b9-828fc1b24dba.jpg?v=1571610948 They dropped the speeding charge but I’ve got to pay for the three storefronts and the railway station. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821223 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821223_9c0651f7-c7c7-4c3e-a607-56bf2c35fcb4.jpg?v=1571610948 Here, work your way through that lot and I’ll go easy on you next year. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821224 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821224_417312ce-8c07-40db-9531-c2651ec2c3e2.jpg?v=1571610948 Fourteen shopping minutes to Christmas! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm821225 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM821225_ee314b3e-05c2-4704-ac3e-3becb53aea0d.jpg?v=1571610948 This your idea of a good old-fashioned Christmas — turkey pizza? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830111 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830111_926624a6-dd18-40c0-8c77-38b44d6a2e99.jpg?v=1571610948 We were just toying with the idea of going to see a movie. Can you come back in about three minutes? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830112 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830112_3693a019-b385-4fd5-8c01-2aa8802ac522.jpg?v=1571610948 This is a much bigger apartment than we’re used to. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830114 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830114_a8a855ce-66c6-40a7-9869-e09e968cd4f9.jpg?v=1571610948 I sold half the business! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830115 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830115_5bd9d50b-605f-47d9-9f36-c45710d317df.jpg?v=1571610948 I don’t care if it’s his birthday! I want him out. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830119 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/830119.jpg?v=1659291783 Your honor, my client is the product of a broken home. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830121 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830121_61ccc595-ca3d-4a23-917e-784764b52864.jpg?v=1571610948 How long have you been on the night shift? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830122 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830122_91203ee3-b262-4d05-94dc-054d37d57296.jpg?v=1571610948 If I get a good mark, you could be looking at a very nice apple tomorrow morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830124 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830124_e5ab6744-537e-4913-81f0-05dbee58569c.jpg?v=1571610948 It’s my new slimming book. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830125 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830125_db0411fe-8a75-46da-ba2b-ff0e0cbee3e6.jpg?v=1571610948 Can’t you hum something else? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830126 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830126_35219a62-921f-4ba9-90a8-447e86e9adb9.jpg?v=1571610948 I can’t hear the peasants singing. You’d better put the guard on ‘red alert.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830127 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830127.jpg?v=1668228285 Come on! Tell him you’re sorry for stepping on him at the top of the stairs. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830128 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830128_9a14f7c2-1c95-4918-9447-9299bc2b32c0.jpg?v=1571610948 We can’t stand here all day. It must have jammed. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830404 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830404_3b8cf33c-4196-46a4-95c0-634a60944ac1.jpg?v=1571610948 I’ve lost the key! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830405 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830405_5c12bb41-a14e-4b81-a5a2-1de8688b9ad4.jpg?v=1571610948 He said he shot it in the desert. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830406 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830406_b2376d2d-015f-4104-bfdf-f647fd7becad.jpg?v=1571610948 Remember Ralphy, the moron? He’s making $250,000 a year. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830407 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830407_0a701daf-c8b7-4b9b-9450-598b6eae2e30.jpg?v=1571610948 I’m sorry, sir, that’s not hand luggage. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830408 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830408_f8c285a8-0bb1-4710-b7ba-5fb00ab199f5.jpg?v=1571610948 Just relax and get your memory back. Don’t lay there worrying about that $8 you owe me. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830409 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830409_221b2608-a86a-47e9-a8de-bf2e4e6d8a6a.jpg?v=1571610948 Got a room with a panoramic view of the city? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830411 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830411_5c01b96f-1063-4b76-b3e8-4bbda57aac24.jpg?v=1571610948 I lost track of my age years ago, but I think I’m about 22. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830412 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830412_2e67fe84-b754-4fdd-82a0-5b6419c29f06.jpg?v=1571610948 As we’ll be flying over water, we present the following demonstration of what to do in the case of shark attack. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830413 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830413.jpg?v=1647008108 I’d say that was just about a total eclipse, wouldn’t you? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830414 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830414_35f26c19-f028-40d2-97d8-fdaff3ef68fe.jpg?v=1571610949 And for the man who has everything, we have this personal nuclear deterrent. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830415 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830415_5fbad6c7-0f83-4789-924f-38eea241915e.jpg?v=1571610949 My wife would like to look at some fur coats. Got any binoculars? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830416 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830416_1bd4e905-985f-4505-91c4-348af8a2d04a.jpg?v=1571610949 This says you have a tendency to grovel. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830418 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830418_3ed9a7b6-3937-4459-8a25-c0ed174d7cbf.jpg?v=1571610949 Did you or did you not tell him I was a Homo sapiens? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830419 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830419_813900d7-a1f9-4417-8ac9-af8b1c885bf5.jpg?v=1571610949 Lily, run upstairs and see if this guy’s gas barbecue is in our bedroom. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830421 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830421_a42efd97-0593-4c99-8ce4-d5a89652f580.jpg?v=1571610949 I had over 200 hours of flying time when I was your age. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830422 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830422_06f84c4b-23e4-440d-9cda-d2d850ecb17c.jpg?v=1571610949 I know it’s probably uncomfortable, but we need them as evidence. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830423 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/files/HM830423.jpg?v=1734396966 Forgot the cat’s birthday, didn’t you? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830425 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830425_0782bf05-6af4-4037-8603-96d054434667.jpg?v=1571610949 I thought I said those flying fish had to be back in their bowl by eight o’clock! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830426 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830426_ccc23ce0-d40e-4aba-b0e3-35039a954aae.jpg?v=1571610949 Mrs. Baxter, I don’t think things are going to work out. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830427 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830427_5ec26673-181e-494e-8d79-f7667a051624.jpg?v=1571610949 Of course, we’re looking for a man who can work without supervision. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830428 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830428_bab69c58-e43a-4481-bc23-9ea3e865b70d.jpg?v=1571610949 When was this passport photo taken? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830429 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830429_161bd9cb-38fd-4af8-b31d-1c143d97bdd4.jpg?v=1571610949 Get that lab on the phone. This chest X-ray only shows the top of his head! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830430 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830430_105e9de4-cd4d-4479-a900-9ffc4645eb7e.jpg?v=1571610949 OK, don’t start showing off! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830503 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830503_e7bbfaf5-5ac0-4f35-8252-e37141041647.jpg?v=1571610949 Mildew, can you work an hour’s overtime tonight? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830504 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830504_7ceb2f91-ca42-4ca3-8b5d-8075dd02d977.jpg?v=1571610949 I see the old dollar’s taken another beating. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830505 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830505_c51730a3-0353-46c7-98d0-64a0b27015e0.jpg?v=1571610949 Whoever heard of anyone studying for an eye examination! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830506 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830506_37d0b5b9-5c47-4bb9-aa18-4592395e2c3e.jpg?v=1571610949 Quick, drink this! It’ll settle your stomach. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830507 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830507_70007365-a66b-4e67-b3c9-c5167af96353.jpg?v=1571610949 Will you keep your head still?! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830509 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830509_e7329862-116a-4635-ac68-1706fd14ff5c.jpg?v=1571610949 Your brother-in-law is marooned on a desert island. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830510 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830510_61424e81-4f11-462b-a355-6f5444d1fe24.jpg?v=1571610949 Her mother had a coat made and put ‘squirrel’ on the endangered species list! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830511 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830511_ac6746b2-2277-43b4-bb26-ad1482bb592b.jpg?v=1571610949 I ordered a coffee when I came in. Do you think you could give me a progress report when the beans leave South America? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830512 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830512_cbe6e34b-c7b0-4291-9b7f-df0aadabd20c.jpg?v=1571610949 You need plenty of rest. You’d better stay in the gutter for a few days. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830514 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830514_7f3926c4-8d54-435c-bda9-454a072237da.jpg?v=1571610949 Take off your tie and unbutton your shirt. There are nine women on the jury. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830516 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830516_7604f135-7fbd-4fc7-883f-149841bd44f4.jpg?v=1571610949 I’m sure he couldn’t have done it intentionally! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830518 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830518_29bceacc-2a13-4091-a639-17f2e4e73abe.jpg?v=1571610949 I’ve got a stabbing pain in my left kidney. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830519 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830519_5dcba6e0-08b8-4c72-bee7-ead4ed1b21a9.jpg?v=1571610950 Of the smaller breeds, these are about the best guard dogs. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830520 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830520_438f4321-1af5-422b-9934-04a8c740f861.jpg?v=1571610950 Your boss didn’t want you to lay here worrying about the work piling up, so he fired you. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830521 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830521_680414e2-5aa9-4a67-9dd2-e94f87205273.jpg?v=1571610950 Breathe deeply and take a quick look at my bill. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830526 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830526_754ba0d3-3592-41a5-b828-af3dcd3accad.jpg?v=1571610950 The only time he’s got a 48-inch chest is when he stands on his head! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830527 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830527_8832fb8e-2cdc-4548-9c28-03d5d2fd286d.jpg?v=1571610950 Don’t keep saying ‘I do.’ You’re the best man. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830528 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830528_c74e920c-9dff-4fa5-ac37-2517082e3185.jpg?v=1571610950 Separate checks, please. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830531 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830531_26fc2f6b-f315-46c4-962b-d02b69e77ab8.jpg?v=1571610950 Er, hello! Your daughter’s husband has been called away on business for three months. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830602 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830602_df02ded9-803c-4ff8-bcb2-178b46ad21d1.jpg?v=1571610950 This is Dr. Elgin, our expert on tropical diseases. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830606 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830606_123017c5-3258-4246-8827-8f4f75f86b7c.jpg?v=1571610950 Mr. White is here for his annual checkup, doctor. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830608 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830608_b320842f-a2f9-40ef-a8a5-af354e88729c.jpg?v=1571610950 Hey, Lily! Was it 1958 I got my bronze medal for the ‘foxtrot’? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830610 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830610_7ceb11e7-a0b5-4dbc-b72d-2cc920f2711b.jpg?v=1571610950 Anything under $25,000 nowadays is considered ‘junk jewelry.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830611 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830611_ba58f806-323a-431d-b154-b02ae83d5fb3.jpg?v=1571610950 I need to borrow your 68 cents ‘mad money.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830615 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830615_ad90b0fc-88b7-491e-beb9-30a80652a078.jpg?v=1571610950 I’m sorry, sir, visiting hours are over. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830617 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830617_c708aa54-e9af-4301-9677-d039b458d800.jpg?v=1571610950 Here’s the menu. I’ll be back in a couple of hours. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830618 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830618_7163b0b5-4a1d-4a3f-a166-542e7381a559.jpg?v=1571610950 You can stop waving goodbye. I’m staying! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830620 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830620_db23b2d1-a1b8-4d10-a7ca-7981c572d307.jpg?v=1571610950 Is it still half price for kids? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830621 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830621_343aaab3-3ac8-4566-af2d-1e8bf8fe9f68.jpg?v=1571610950 We need a six-foot ladder and an eight-foot ladder. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830622 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830622_9b55d2fa-a016-4769-9f09-9376e2b4ce1f.jpg?v=1571610950 Table for three. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830624 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830624.jpg?v=1631634188 Can I go in first? This is a real emergency. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830625 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830625_f81b0fa3-d78a-442d-94aa-441d93db2f0c.jpg?v=1571610950 Got any nice gift-wrapping paper? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830721 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830721_cbbdde4e-ef92-40d1-8449-56d825f7b530.jpg?v=1571610950 Did you tell the cat he could have my striped shirt? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830722 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830722_78a2e775-8969-4144-9a36-17c0f3511b39.jpg?v=1571610950 She gave me a box of chocolates for my birthday with 11 missing. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830723 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830723_5004d7b5-e49d-498a-a3f4-747d2c658420.jpg?v=1571610950 You sat up in the middle of the night and shouted, ‘Rub two sticks together.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830725 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830725.jpg?v=1647009098 Dad, I’m writing my life story. Is ‘poverty-stricken’ one word? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830726 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830726_ff66ebe1-d8e2-46b2-9198-7eb161151e27.jpg?v=1571610951 Can we borrow your coat? We’re going to the movies. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830728 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830728_e16077b3-e8df-431a-a69c-51fba0622644.jpg?v=1571610951 I take it your business meeting was a success. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830729 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830729_e91cac54-8177-4143-a478-a816c9b59202.jpg?v=1571610951 Wilson, don’t drag your nails down the blackboard. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830730 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830730_eea68e48-9392-4e31-8e69-9c39b85fda17.jpg?v=1571610951 It’s got a two-level finished basement. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830801 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830801_7d5c0c87-8dff-4c4e-a778-e47471646107.jpg?v=1571610951 Here we go! Step one: Take off your shirt. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830802 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830802_b551f975-f874-4707-ad3e-9a5b276715db.jpg?v=1571610951 Oh no! He’s bought a trampoline. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830806 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830806_038c14e1-8a51-4eb3-aa15-cb8a41adbf80.jpg?v=1571610951 You can earn $504 a week if you work the full 168 hours. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830809 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830809_92eed9c5-4916-462f-86b8-2eb4adffd37f.jpg?v=1571610951 Don’t let George scare you. He’s in for art forgery. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830810 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830810_12ed2518-72dd-4d97-b129-24749a5dc4c0.jpg?v=1571610951 We need something fast for about 10 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830811 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830811_6dd9f546-0efe-4f5a-b087-14f69cd0fc18.jpg?v=1571610951 Stay away from those wooden ones. I nearly got my head blown off! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830812 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830812_88d7bd3c-baca-4d4d-8ddd-e1f113eca9bf.jpg?v=1571610951 You’d better hurry up and decide. The warranty runs out in 15 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830813 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830813_c11d9030-7c06-4dbe-b6a1-fb5fb8cc9c0e.jpg?v=1571610951 It’s not my fault if my dad won’t lend me the car! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830815 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830815_281c8f69-9503-4c8d-a3c5-b8efe312c8b5.jpg?v=1571610951 D’you still want ‘the catch of the day’? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830816 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830816_b5ad17d0-54f5-44e4-81f2-80a075d22e26.jpg?v=1571610951 If I’m not back in 20 minutes, get a divorce. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830817 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830817_2edc3ad3-7343-4a88-bb34-9fadeb09df45.jpg?v=1571610951 He wants another 50 bucks… pair of nines and a queen. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830818 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830818_e23852fd-3424-4c3b-9b21-2b61d4b59667.jpg?v=1571610951 Why don’t you save the money and put it toward plastic surgery? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830819 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830819_28c87504-7904-4a79-932b-75717f70f3c9.jpg?v=1571610951 It’s been six days. Has he reported me missing yet? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830820 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830820_5b45d686-f737-485f-8ff9-885b8aaa8ad0.jpg?v=1571610951 I’m sorry, Wilson. After 16 years of loyal service, you’re being replaced by this microchip. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830822 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830822_5ad00452-a5aa-4e6f-b78d-7c900d2501a1.jpg?v=1571610951 Did you say on the phone you were ‘in the 20s’ or ‘born in the 20s’? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830826 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830826_b5e3b829-dc4d-4843-b0c6-b1ee64f68181.jpg?v=1571610951 Why don’t you wait until you’re both working? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830829 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830829_f36fc41a-7422-42b4-a901-940455c80edf.jpg?v=1571610951 If you insist on laughing, sir, I must ask you to browse in the humor section. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830831 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830831.jpg?v=1604858456 It says, ‘Your day will be greatly influenced by the planet Neptune.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830901 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830901_90f9155d-b45a-4973-87da-00859bbf6b37.jpg?v=1571610951 So I’m half an hour late! So what? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830902 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830902_edb2cfbe-d7c5-4810-9098-f38086d63cf3.jpg?v=1571610951 I married her for her looks and she married me for my money… Now we’re even. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830903 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830903_5466e239-ea9c-42a8-b9de-c573bd79fdf0.jpg?v=1571610951 He’s back again! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830905 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830905_0a3a09c2-cce6-49cf-a151-23fcf6bae6ba.jpg?v=1571610951 Keep your head down, Billy-Joe. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830907 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830907_79d43e2f-024a-4588-b1d2-175bf39252c6.jpg?v=1571610951 I’ll be back in an hour, Muriel. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830909 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830909_6fe7158e-a2a7-4481-b4bd-b6060a2bc102.jpg?v=1571610951 For the last time, Randolph, I’m the best man and you’re the groom. We can’t change places! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830910 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830910_e4cbc589-641b-41c4-b8ce-e616b2d0989f.jpg?v=1571610951 Come on. You were all excited when you saw it on TV. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830912 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830912_e152dc50-465a-4fe1-a883-7c29e76e5b87.jpg?v=1571610951 I know you’re three weeks away from retirement, but it’s either fire you now or fork out for a gold watch. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830913 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830913_fda5720f-cf01-482b-831e-4e28c4439e78.jpg?v=1571610952 I used to have a bigger eye chart but I wasn’t making any money. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830914 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830914_6b1d1b12-85e0-4745-b608-e3773c25d37d.jpg?v=1571610952 They’re $12… but don’t worry, I’ll keep them in a vault and wear an imitation. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830916 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830916_809102c3-81e7-4949-bd91-570366c9d656.jpg?v=1571610952 Well, nobody can say you didn’t try. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830920 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830920_d4345e14-767a-4e1b-a5b8-c6575f5f0bf2.jpg?v=1571610952 I can’t help you if you’re just going to sit there mooing. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830921 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830921_da95a9e7-d69d-4c20-a1e9-f3d516e9cb74.jpg?v=1571610952 You haven’t eaten your chicken! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830922 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830922_b04f0642-18d9-4aab-85d2-8bc599145a31.jpg?v=1571610952 You got any idea how fast you were going? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830923 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830923_e9d5fe90-5d2f-4b9b-9c32-2aa313a37e9a.jpg?v=1571610952 Nothing on? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830924 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830924_e6a6b4cf-291c-46a2-a0f5-37372ab9e489.jpg?v=1571610952 This isn’t the right water pump, but I’ll make it fit. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830926 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830926_c38d2e37-c0ab-401a-a621-7d9e085917df.jpg?v=1571610952 Just cut off a dollar’s worth. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830927 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830927_58b75305-357f-4ef0-b28a-0f6d39222fb5.jpg?v=1571610952 If it’s for your wife, sir, I’d suggest crushed velvet. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830928 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830928_34eb749e-50a4-4ba6-abc3-2c46c468efd1.jpg?v=1571610952 Get a move on. The tranquilizer dart’s wearing off. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830929 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830929_6aa1906d-e7e9-4bc8-9512-c38ea3612aec.jpg?v=1571610952 My stomach’s having a tough time getting used to well-cooked food. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830930 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830930_8f9cee1a-cc52-46af-a4de-2bfee5c80635.jpg?v=1571610952 What’s so dumb about cutting out a full-page advertisement? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831001 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831001_68d81667-0def-4c41-88c9-394210128392.jpg?v=1571610952 Let go, sweetheart, and Mommy will give you this bone. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831004 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831004_568b29ba-65c6-4f60-a92c-812b439fa791.jpg?v=1571610952 He’s out! Can I take a message? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831005 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831005_04a491c1-c5fb-4b46-87c0-d50d134631f2.jpg?v=1571610952 How was I supposed to know it fired torpedoes? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831006 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831006_0cd943b5-7201-4a85-a682-0433d48820a0.jpg?v=1571610952 Is your wife still taking singing lessons? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831007 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831007.jpg?v=1672619085 He wants me to tell you that the pills aren’t working. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831008 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831008_31c9088b-e7e0-4f3a-b928-5aa8f8c2d0a3.jpg?v=1571610952 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831010 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831010_acf7daef-92d4-4c91-a4c9-6b5f53f9f2f5.jpg?v=1571610952 This guy wants to borrow your long ladder. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831013 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831013.jpg?v=1647009137 Table for two… name of ‘Kong.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831014 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831014_7140d7bb-1e3e-482c-9886-fc30fcc8aa70.jpg?v=1571610952 Come on, Herbert. The gates open in five minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831018 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831018_fda12117-5a8f-4bb6-a47b-fa576bdd8930.jpg?v=1571610952 Give me your credit card. I’m getting these for your birthday. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831020 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831020_3d0e0395-bfcc-4bb8-871f-5f40271f41af.jpg?v=1571610952 No, sir. This is not a Greek restaurant. You have the menu upside down. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831021 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831021_8d8f4cf1-df64-4f20-9550-6a5c9d377f9e.jpg?v=1571610952 I had to make a videotape of myself telling him his supper’s ready. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831024 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831024_22c496fc-f727-4ab3-a6a1-10e0b4ba60f8.jpg?v=1571610952 OK, you’ve got the job. But you make sure you have a big breakfast before coming to work. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831025 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831025_5bb124e7-c24f-4025-879e-6fd52c3180eb.jpg?v=1571610953 C’mon, Dave! I saw him first. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831027 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831027_ac478bce-9292-4f39-b0a4-e9bddd206bb0.jpg?v=1571610953 I’m putting you down as ‘potential donor material.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831029 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831029_730bb866-33d5-428b-bac7-a7b82dcae9f5.jpg?v=1571610953 George… Have we got 900 rolls of this ‘imitation stone’? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831031 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831031_ba17f157-8a69-4a55-b53e-31238f5f724a.jpg?v=1571610953 Get a move on! She’ll be home in 10 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831101 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831101.jpg?v=1571610953 I’m-fine-how-are-you? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831102 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831102_410e2dfa-83ec-4b72-baba-b4662fcd4dda.jpg?v=1571610953 He’s probably taking a breather on his way north. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831103 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831103_6d9a5781-95ea-4c92-a6cc-0072756572ba.jpg?v=1571610953 Will you please speak to those kids? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831104 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831104_e1bb2957-7cb6-49ac-80ee-24aa5e59cce7.jpg?v=1571610953 Did you have your hair done at that new place on Market street? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831107 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831107.jpg?v=1605748404 I gotta open you up again. Those things are $36 a pair! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831108 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831108_12fb60ad-5ee7-4a09-8724-b3b89919a6a4.jpg?v=1571610953 Think back… two years ago… you sold me a gerbil. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831110 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831110_da30ff41-a003-4084-96c5-70ac09d80451.jpg?v=1571610953 Something just landed on my back! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831111 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831111_f7d6fc0d-476f-41a6-8f5d-9d55db802c5c.jpg?v=1571610953 I suppose you heard about that blonde who used to work at the bank. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831112 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831112_ae117753-41fc-4c74-ba93-34702207db1a.jpg?v=1571610953 Now don’t hit Grandad’s foot. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831114 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831114_9699efe0-9d8b-449c-ab66-ef2125ddeac4.jpg?v=1571610953 If he had six wives, how come there was no Henry the Ninth? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831116 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831116_c0378a93-f180-4548-a8bd-82220e504769.jpg?v=1571610953 Get back in bed!!! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831117 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831117_058fcabb-05e4-472b-8e33-a01dd83d8d21.jpg?v=1571610953 I brought him over because I want him to apologize. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831118 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831118_0feb48c5-7170-4fb9-b2bc-032046790753.jpg?v=1571610953 I’m sorry. What more can I say! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831122 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831122_a117b44d-d94f-43c3-888b-422b7fe0b629.jpg?v=1571610953 You should stay off that left foot for a couple of days. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831123 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831123_90ccc9cd-9d59-46b4-bae2-ff2ce793f96c.jpg?v=1571610953 She said if I don’t finish the fence in time, I won’t be able to go to her sister’s wedding. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831125 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831125_a3841124-bc9a-4e12-b4f4-4f3cdf688aa9.jpg?v=1571610953 The computer says it’ll probably try to stick that rubber thing in your mouth. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831126 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/files/HM831126.jpg?v=1761626966 Is it true you like your employees to speak their minds, big nose? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831128 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831128_7b1947ac-0b54-42b2-92f0-9e85d76c1306.jpg?v=1571610953 The doctor said you can come home on Friday if I get rid of the cat. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831129 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831129_fbc2188b-4ddf-4060-998e-be1208560db4.jpg?v=1571610953 NO CAPTION, Last Gas 60 Miles https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831130 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831130_aaee4fa5-30c7-429f-90a0-f951467fa386.jpg?v=1571610953 How d’you expect people to read labels that are stuck on upside down? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831201 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831201_e9d19308-bea1-45e8-90d5-3244a9f98f50.jpg?v=1571610953 It shot over there, under the stove! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831202 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831202.jpg?v=1668539081 What do you mean, you don’t recognize this court? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831205 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831205_fd090734-b5b0-45ec-827f-8a087aa9dd0d.jpg?v=1571610953 Take two just before you go to bed and two just before you wake up. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831207 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831207_8d1090c9-e2c6-4b08-b1c2-b94233d9bd74.jpg?v=1571610953 You’ve broken my best flowerpot! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831208 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831208_2c282429-a99c-461f-92cc-4e3671019ec8.jpg?v=1571610954 Just out of idle curiosity, how d’you manage to serve leftovers 14 days in a row? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831209 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831209_f8d98859-2c12-472b-bc2a-98217d7dcaa3.jpg?v=1571610954 And just where have you been at 3 o’clock in the morning? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831210 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831210_4f0e8605-6c2b-4f9e-8965-5d96df8d74cc.jpg?v=1571610954 Whaddyer mean you don’t know what it is? Who cooked it? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831212 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831212_8fc76594-0edd-4ac5-8ef4-0d215fb255f0.jpg?v=1571610954 The computer handles all our loan applications. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831213 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831213_8f155afc-0491-44cc-9baf-c949319f901e.jpg?v=1571610954 Is that what they teach you at mailman’s college? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831216 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831216_8ec8c06a-b434-4486-8db3-cf4fd1c3f006.jpg?v=1571610954 I’m starting my vacation tomorrow, so I’ll leave you 14 newspapers. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831217 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831217_fd0a38c3-3164-49e9-b739-8bede27aedc1.jpg?v=1571610954 Port?! Starboard?! Can’t you speak English? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831220 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831220_32c22b72-64b8-4b9c-b984-241347706e80.jpg?v=1571610954 When I was your age, I could do the 100-yard dash in 12 minutes! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831221 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831221_0c567949-4e7b-45c6-9048-aef6488b5ca0.jpg?v=1571610954 Hello Frank. Does my insurance cover me for snapped-off needles? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831223 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831223_7978fce7-8e38-486b-8469-796f9f5e4cfc.jpg?v=1571610954 Do you have any other hobbies besides ‘birdwatching’? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831226 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831226_2b887424-546e-4148-9527-dd3530d46a09.jpg?v=1571610954 I do have your size, madame, but you’ll have to buy the table with it. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831227 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831227_a1c476dd-d9ad-42df-9a40-5ad244cb6b19.jpg?v=1571610954 Stale donut and a cup of cold coffee, Harry. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831228 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831228_dcb76c68-933d-4d01-9382-a96ab31e8a42.jpg?v=1571610954 Today’s special is spaghetti and meatballs. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831230 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831230_7eed0677-e472-412c-915f-cdadbf9faf31.jpg?v=1571610954 Mention something about her not fooling around with my stereo equipment. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm831231 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM831231_69ea2fb9-7955-4855-9ee7-df23e715429a.jpg?v=1571610954 Dad took us to Sea World and fell in. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840103 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840103_f9801c24-7a2f-4fac-bc58-ee99349b2536.jpg?v=1571610954 Solid as a rock and light as a feather. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840104 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840104_9be75910-d699-4a3f-a2eb-2f9dea5a3dd5.jpg?v=1571610954 Well, you knew we had only one tree when you bought it. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840106 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840106_1dbd1467-f686-4233-9377-c694337d1df9.jpg?v=1571610954 When are you gonna start facing reality? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840110 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840110_0c18d891-5148-48e4-830c-50a3674ef5a4.jpg?v=1571610954 I hear your husband is a ventriloquist. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840113 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/840113.jpg?v=1659291810 It never ceases to amaze me what people throw away. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840114 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/files/HM840114.jpg?v=1761627124 Wilson, I’m beginning to have serious doubts about your abilities as a bookkeeper. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840116 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840116_e3773d36-c182-4a12-a619-ffd301c986be.jpg?v=1571610954 This is your last chance. Turn that stereo down. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840118 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840118_c12a8499-0a71-4897-9820-2e139b394eba.jpg?v=1571610955 I don’t normally buy bug spray at the door, but the one I use obviously doesn’t work. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840119 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840119_13086bdc-7044-43b0-ba8d-5c9690dc1439.jpg?v=1571610955 Er… stay cool, baby… and, er… what’s happening? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840121 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840121_fdcce57e-fb4e-412f-87a2-59c49c503ab4.jpg?v=1571610955 The changing room is occupied. Crouch down behind the tie rack. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840203 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840203_6f4b9547-2321-4df1-8f04-0c56d3bfd04a.jpg?v=1571610955 What are you doing now? Throw the Frisbee. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840206 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840206_4680abad-8ddc-47f6-bf19-1119a22ce6e7.jpg?v=1571610955 I spoke to the doctor. He said you’re taking too much iron. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840211 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840211_519d6250-1d03-4134-ab57-d9b4ae92ab1d.jpg?v=1571610955 I got her in a poker game. I had a pair of eights and the other guy had three jacks. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840214 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840214_3f482ca3-f3b1-4325-94c4-c2630fe4bfd3.jpg?v=1571610955 Obviously you weren’t at the meeting this morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840220 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840220_aa02f8a0-f130-468f-8fb5-28a77e9fe012.jpg?v=1571610955 D for Donny, E for Elvis, A for Abba and R for Rolling Stones. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840221 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840221_60f7ee71-457f-405b-9c9f-9facaa2d7150.jpg?v=1571610955 Joyce, give this guy a second cup of coffee. He found my car keys. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840223 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840223_f910050a-9abb-453d-8c05-d4a97371e482.jpg?v=1571610955 I’ll have your red snapper, white potatoes, and green beans. D’you have any blue carrots? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840301 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840301_ca55dd52-07b2-425d-a76b-a9fb4cb1770b.jpg?v=1571610955 Dougie, have we got these in coral pink? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840302 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840302_98be0dc0-0de4-45ce-bb30-fea294259252.jpg?v=1571610955 I’m planning a solo voyage around the world. D’you want to come? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840305 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840305_19c9a0d5-4bee-4c75-832d-9f14397332ed.jpg?v=1571610955 Cost me $60 and she only wore it twice. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840306 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840306_dc0821d5-f768-43d2-a434-7641c6271cf9.jpg?v=1571610955 I’m making you Dobson’s personal assistant until his feet get better. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840307 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840307_9a7720d1-e36d-4067-baf9-fa4477e630ac.jpg?v=1571610955 Mrs. Rodriguez, next Monday I want you to stand in for me at the annual stockholders meeting. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840308 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840308_3252cb1c-32ab-4d35-b3bf-b5e322206772.jpg?v=1571610955 I’ve only got a few minutes. Where are the short stories? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840309 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/840309.jpg?v=1659291840 I called your receptionist this morning for a 3 o’clock appointment to have my eyes tested. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840310 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840310_203ac518-984a-4978-a3d7-0cd8f776364d.jpg?v=1571610955 These won’t help you sleep, but they’ll stop you tossing and turning all night. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840313 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840313_63ff41f0-9a4d-4934-930b-2fdd27eaa386.jpg?v=1571610955 You’d be in a lousy mood, too, if you had to deal with twits like this every day. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840316 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840316_e9d336c7-4783-4624-84ad-1188fa1cd228.jpg?v=1571610955 NO CAPTION, Think Large Eggs https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840317 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840317_1f0d8eb0-1d16-4b27-8178-04284fa3f1f1.jpg?v=1571610955 I’m not nagging. I just said I hope you’re not going to ruin my sister’s wedding. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840326 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840326_a285137c-a49b-4136-8452-6c35a976809a.jpg?v=1571610955 I can’t find his file. Is it under ‘C’ for crazy or ‘H’ for horse? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840406 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840406_0dc7b796-e3d5-4929-8192-8f1e1d9b310e.jpg?v=1571610955 We’re closing in five minutes. I’ll get you a blanket. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840411 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840411_649b077b-9206-4c95-a82f-6f83f9628a9b.jpg?v=1571610955 I could literally double my income with a 20-foot ladder. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840412 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840412_d62968b7-c7ca-4d59-9d24-f306ddbd3d7e.jpg?v=1571610956 I need one more gallon of that ceiling white. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840413 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840413_9be4f6ea-0877-49ea-9e87-ab11040ca1eb.jpg?v=1571610956 My cousin, Herbie, got a job at a zoo. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840417 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840417_22997250-3ad9-4547-914e-99844a8fa9d3.jpg?v=1571610956 Got any room in your freezer? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840421 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840421_7f6a95a9-5007-4b4c-8339-2a30ca6c0313.jpg?v=1571610956 Is there such a thing as a bathroom scale fitted with shock absorbers? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840424 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840424_9dde9bb7-3b33-4edc-a918-f29727f1ea1a.jpg?v=1571610956 Here’s the latest word on that mystery object seen over our city this evening. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840426 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840426_80d5c625-f6bb-4a56-b294-aa1bd9fe05ba.jpg?v=1571610956 You look like a man with the minimum daily requirement of intelligence. Where can I find a book on self-confidence? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840501 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840501_COA_aeac9f6f-a2ee-43b0-9e53-f6f8f1968c0f.jpg?v=1571610956 Randolph! Your blind date is here. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840503 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840503_3b11f52c-ed4c-413b-9461-32d07ed85b13.jpg?v=1571610956 I liked the way you kicked that tire. Very few of these young kids today understand the finer points of a quality vehicle. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840504 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840504_b1c5e673-5182-4862-b86a-66f5959293e9.jpg?v=1571610956 See if you can get a saber-toothed tiger for the weekend. And make sure it’s not all fat. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840511 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840511_acb2582d-a887-4381-8e77-f05a5a8f6be7.jpg?v=1571610956 Let’s see… Your wife had a baby girl at 2:15 a. m. , a boy at 2:20 a. m. and another two girls at 2:25 a. m. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840518 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840518_3284f8c1-6c52-4643-a6fc-6ad5d2c57171.jpg?v=1571610956 Imagine them wanting a $5 delivery charge! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840521 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840521_e243cdc8-6b96-4a54-9009-82558cf57827.jpg?v=1571610956 I think you’ll enjoy working here. We’re very informal. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840524 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840524_fff3649d-726b-4d54-aa7f-01140f1cf7be.jpg?v=1571610956 I’m back! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840526 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840526.jpg?v=1674075439 Any questions so far? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840528 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840528_9038aea7-25d5-4b6a-bdc8-20c23ca1b2e4.jpg?v=1571610956 My daughter tells me you’re a lifeguard. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840530 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/files/HM840530.jpg?v=1723128749 The housewarming party has been postponed. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840601 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840601_c1204ca0-3962-4692-967c-42868b86652f.jpg?v=1571610956 It was a choice between one of these or a dozen skimpy little roses. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840602 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840602_f5526471-6b0f-435d-bba0-0e97c284a08d.jpg?v=1571610956 NO CAPTION, Saving for a violin https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840605 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840605_547d567d-3099-4879-974d-455e9c748ce0.jpg?v=1571610956 I used to have a dog, but he wouldn’t eat my wife’s leftovers. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840606 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840606_ebe6ee3b-9234-4817-91d8-f2e556473485.jpg?v=1571610956 Miss Stokes, I’ve been looking at your work record, and you’re taking far too many days off. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840607 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840607_bd9e57fd-647e-4c9d-b5cb-81777ed952d0.jpg?v=1571610956 I don’t want that stuck right in front of the TV. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840608 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840608_9cd4b158-427a-4fa2-94d9-13d266ec67f9.jpg?v=1571610956 You still having trouble sleeping? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840612 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840612_fd58d096-ab25-4fed-ac1a-818df987ba7d.jpg?v=1571610956 He’s down in the basement cleaning the furnace. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840614 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840614.jpg?v=1590245992 Anybody wanna cross the street? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840616 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840616_354e6efe-efdd-4754-bcaa-823abe5dbc79.jpg?v=1571610956 Arnold, where can I lay my hands on a fan belt for a 1998 Cosmos Star cruiser? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840618 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840618_4087d642-d1f8-4595-a1ac-de57bca54f0b.jpg?v=1571610956 If you don’t mind me saying so, sir, he never did take well to captivity. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840619 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840619_98b2f3ff-68e3-4aa4-ad65-b57c75a82c11.jpg?v=1571610956 Did I tell you I was voted ‘The boy most likely to go somewhere’? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840623 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840623_62f04b25-fb36-411e-9c24-3bc79bba1fd8.jpg?v=1571610957 Here’s a nice two-bedroom apartment, but they don’t allow pets. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840630 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840630_289f3b2e-f140-47cf-8e6d-fcf227704878.jpg?v=1571610957 Your bank manager says he doesn’t recommend surgery at this time. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840702 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840702_aeca462c-bc52-469d-85ab-b7ccab7c92f0.jpg?v=1571610957 Bill specializes in the study of rare diseases. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840703 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840703_6056a478-133f-453a-9f5f-873e4fae00da.jpg?v=1571610957 So I said, ‘If you wanted to do something useful around here, why don’t you paint the fence’? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840704 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840704_d6dcaea4-53ad-42a4-aff2-1e77c55bfed1.jpg?v=1571610957 Have you done the north slope? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840706 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840706_dbeea95b-f015-44cd-99f4-c135e8a04340.jpg?v=1571610957 I thought your resume said you did 40 words a minute. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840710 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840710_bb76c17e-e48d-417c-ac55-4f0d25d4b82f.jpg?v=1571610957 Did you say ‘coffee and a bun’? https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840714 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840714_be843f34-3d73-4c25-a0d7-281c1ba24d63.jpg?v=1571610957 Fourteen years old and still playful. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm131209 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm131209_mounted.jpg?v=1571610957 I don’t think you’re strong enough to get out of bed yet. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm131210 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm131210_mounted.jpg?v=1571610957 I thought you liked liver! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm131211 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm131211_mounted.jpg?v=1571610957 He couldn’t find his cigarette lighter this morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm131212 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm131212_mounted_299cb0d4-51fa-4daf-8e3c-6f4105a880e7.jpg?v=1571610957 I’m sorry Madam, we don’t offer an in-room buffet. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm131213 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm131213_mounted_a1784d4c-7cd6-41b1-8ef7-42bd10c56780.jpg?v=1571610957 You say your lawyer bandaged your wrist? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm131214 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm131214_mounted_66d1cc81-4d53-4c5e-894d-1b2fe9810daf.jpg?v=1571610957 I suppose you know you’ve been standing there for over an hour and the toaster’s not plugged in. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm131216 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm131216_mounted_496c100a-b019-4bb7-b046-e1543b46340b.jpg?v=1571610957 He’s not fast but he’s accurate. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm131217 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm131217_mounted_e14be5e3-e9ad-403e-a417-e04507e4bfbb.jpg?v=1571610957 Send the speeding ticket to the car lot. I’m not buying it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm131218 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm131218_mounted_c3ef41c8-0787-4ac9-ac29-aa59c0914a5f.jpg?v=1571610957 I don’t see why you want a new TV when all we watch are the same old shows. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm131219 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm131219_mounted_ba11679c-c11f-4e58-8ed9-a5b6c392cabf.jpg?v=1571610957 You can undress over there, but watch out for my rubber plant. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm131220 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm131220_mounted_5489b409-d76a-4680-8f78-a1b1a4e872bf.jpg?v=1571610957 Listen, I’ve got to go. That guy’s still sitting here waiting to use the phone. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm131221 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm131221_mounted_c70a296e-5d35-40d2-b762-705bd52a0eb4.jpg?v=1571610957 I’m not stealing it. I’m moving it closer to my house. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm131223 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm131223_mounted_36cf8156-81c7-4f78-81bb-7e22d37383fa.jpg?v=1571610957 I didn’t have any milk for your coffee so I put some white wine in it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm131224 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm131224_mounted_dea5a5b6-e7c8-4612-a9a2-cda153a18a21.jpg?v=1571610957 You can go ahead of me if you’re making a deposit. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm131225 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm131225_mounted_859769d8-18f2-4290-a457-4e8dca490b79.jpg?v=1571610957 Got the waterproof matches? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm131226 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm131226_mounted_8f93a23d-86a6-4216-baa9-ec62b78c6295.jpg?v=1571610957 Anyway, when they opened me up, they said they’d never seen a gallbladder as bad. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm131227 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm131227_mounted_bf8dbf75-a2a1-4a19-9c82-01f66b5d59a3.jpg?v=1571610957 I like a man with determination. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm131228 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm131228_mounted_2728132a-83cd-4d3a-96a3-9522c4439b39.jpg?v=1571610957 I wanted to ask you what you thought of gun control. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm131230 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm131230_mounted_0e0463a9-38cc-4e74-b07a-92c868ff97b0.jpg?v=1571610957 Try to guess who this is for… https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm131231 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm131231_mounted_fa1c64ed-a2ef-43bd-a3df-852546145a49.jpg?v=1571610958 I think I’ll sell all my jewelry. I need the five dollars. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140101 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140101_mounted_038075d8-5b3b-4e82-b4a8-27bc6a672412.jpg?v=1571610958 I make it a rule never to argue about politics. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140102 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140102_mounted_343862be-c18b-4b93-ad9f-adbcc88f6fbb.jpg?v=1571610958 Is that your idea of 20 pounds of potatoes? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140103 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140103_mounted_db785f6d-c7ed-4c33-9c89-005fdf90d3ff.jpg?v=1571610958 Oh no, he’s weightlifting again. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140104 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140104_mounted_61218577-5ad4-454a-b95a-79318d809c68.jpg?v=1571610958 You asleep AGAIN? I thought I told you to count the sheep. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140106 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140106_mounted_3b3e1064-4358-4d18-b0a0-8104670380ab.jpg?v=1571610958 What’sa matter with you… doncha like spaghetti? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140107 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140107_mounted_e49eba5e-30ae-4e24-8aed-314a14f03c5f.jpg?v=1571610958 How come I have to pay the same air fare as a great lump like him? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140108 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140108_mounted_5cb6f18f-1cd1-4fc6-a184-0bdf49481c19.jpg?v=1571610958 As your Latin professor, I can’t say you’ve exactly made my day. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140109 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140109_mounted_1e55f0a1-3a52-43d8-b690-49250becd550.jpg?v=1571610958 Oh, ‘elephants’!… I thought you said we’re gonna cross the Alps with ‘elegance.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140110 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140110_mounted_753fa260-56d3-40a0-bf67-b2884451ee29.jpg?v=1571610958 It’s hard to believe you’ve never put up wallpaper before. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140111 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140111_mounted_4ed23a79-13cd-4f23-942c-e3dd4dbc38f8.jpg?v=1571610958 I said ‘I wanna marry your daughter when I get some money’ and he gave me twenty bucks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140113 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140113_mounted_f1089f4f-805e-4c69-af8b-c46263afa478.jpg?v=1571610958 Sure, I’d love a second honeymoon… who with? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140114 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140114_mounted_d9e54781-7b4e-43f6-99ac-cc6cf0cd1178.jpg?v=1571610958 Now you two! No fighting over the last cupcake. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140115 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140115_mounted_19241f03-2bba-4e37-b7bf-f8658639ef9e.jpg?v=1571610958 Now don’t forget what the judge said about getting violent if you lose. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140116 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140116_mounted_da42fd99-d5a4-467d-a188-7ff1f2cde17e.jpg?v=1571610958 When I said I wanted a ‘rare’ steak, I didn’t mean one that took two hours to find. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140117 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140117_mounted_130eff9f-c994-404f-af43-d8c5155abdb0.jpg?v=1571610958 Will you quit arguing and give me my seven iron. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140118 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140118_mounted_671c339a-845e-40b6-944a-ea634eb45a55.jpg?v=1571610958 It’ll take you a couple of days to get used to them. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140120 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140120_mounted_20afe247-92bd-41f4-9772-3026114f093b.jpg?v=1571610958 There’s absolutely NOTHING on my mind… and anyway I don’t want to talk about it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140121 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140121_mounted_c8088148-78e7-4271-b946-a3fc4cf5f151.jpg?v=1571610958 Sounds like a power struggle between the spaghetti and the pickled onions. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140122 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140122_mounted_c74ce599-1e19-4c2f-9552-e9eb58f22059.jpg?v=1571610958 Wouldn’t be your style to use a rolled-up newspaper, would it? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140123 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140123_mounted_6936d34e-27fc-469c-9be6-2191ff46693d.jpg?v=1571610959 Of course you never lose your ball… you never hit it more than a few feet. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140124 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140124_mounted_662b25e8-ea7e-4c7d-a9b4-9ecfa9ef582a.jpg?v=1571610959 Want me to wrap it? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140125 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140125_mounted_d6fcd444-cec2-4d72-a2ad-5960db6df780.jpg?v=1571610959 Sorry to keep you both waiting out here. Where’s your wife? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140127 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140127_mounted_d2587293-e504-49a3-ba65-88a5c0bc2e46.jpg?v=1571610959 I admire initiative, but when I want a ‘funnel’ I mean one of these. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140128 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140128_mounted_cdf10db7-3cb9-46d5-b235-bcf2b1d591f1.jpg?v=1571610959 Hey, it’s good to see you again. That medicine must have worked! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140129 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140129_mounted_43d958b3-6d8d-4e0a-bb15-22ec5d61b0ea.jpg?v=1571610959 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140130 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140130_mounted_f5193be6-8240-43ba-ac51-f731c88c2bca.jpg?v=1571610959 PREPARE TO LOAD. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140131 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140131_mounted_bb2195e1-e00e-47c1-8b03-f3494169670a.jpg?v=1571610959 Hope you sent Jay Leno the bill for the lumber. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140201 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140201_mounted_74873498-0b48-406c-a2e6-37f2a00d88b8.jpg?v=1571610959 If I’ve gotta do typing and stuff like that, I want more money! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140203 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140203_mounted_16189274-378f-4ae5-bc07-4ed3bb4ef826.jpg?v=1571610959 Get up, you idiot. When I say, ‘How do you plead?’ I wanna know if you’re ‘guilty’ or ‘not guilty.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140204 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140204_mounted_c9684b6d-0d7c-4b88-a5ab-4dc811f01ebc.jpg?v=1571610959 How much longer did he tell you to stay on this banana diet? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140205 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140205_mounted_0bdf66d5-2597-464b-891e-c5242d96d253.jpg?v=1571610959 We’ve won a ten-percent discount on a round-the-world cruise. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140206 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140206_mounted_0b862b75-c5d7-4fc5-a41c-0bfd4bc915ad.jpg?v=1571610959 That new guy was supposed to be helping me roll this. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140207 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140207_mounted_ec4dba6e-69fa-41c1-bc2b-488b7da0affd.jpg?v=1571610959 You wouldn’t believe it, but some people actually press their tie BEFORE they put it on. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140208 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140208_mounted_46b62aa4-cfe1-45b6-afec-694389fc0343.jpg?v=1571610959 Haven’t you got a brush? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140210 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140210_mounted_10a534f5-4719-4449-9f35-d713bc89def9.jpg?v=1571610959 That’s why it didn’t come back. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140211 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140211_mounted_35c1bbfe-7f0c-4a55-967a-cbcbfb903963.jpg?v=1571610959 We are now joining our regularly scheduled commercials which are already in progress. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140212 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140212_mounted_fd8e6628-eba0-42e3-8ad8-b75c7737f233.jpg?v=1571610959 Don’t forget I’m only practicing, so let me know if you feel anything. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140213 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140213_mounted_19eecba3-a177-4d7e-8883-957fdf217134.jpg?v=1571610959 Pretend you don’t know you’re on ‘Candid Camera’ and when I ask for a dime, give me five bucks! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140214 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140214_mounted_88358146-3610-4ce3-aef9-e3be1a976138.jpg?v=1571610959 Our ‘cupid computer’ has come up with two names. Ghengis Khan and Attila the Hun. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140215 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140215_mounted_003606fb-e40d-4a84-8e7d-6ba7cc43097c.jpg?v=1571610959 Your four aces don’t beat my two eights unless you’ve got a red king! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140217 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140217_mounted_2f1bda0f-491a-4b04-b3e4-cbb0ccfa3079.jpg?v=1571610959 You’ve still got your seatbelt on. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140218 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140218_mounted_d21a49bc-4124-4e03-b980-58be316f9021.jpg?v=1571610959 Your jack slipped! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140219 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140219_mounted_af30c713-f3b1-4480-b6a8-83eb1a714b7a.jpg?v=1571610959 … and when you take him out at night, try walking a bit faster. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140220 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140220_mounted_4cc16ee3-ada5-4483-8ccf-50a8c1d2269e.jpg?v=1571610959 Going… going… https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140221 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140221_mounted_8d2f4951-c212-4124-ba60-828f8aa78e4d.jpg?v=1571610959 No, I don’t need help carrying it to the car. For $440, I need an armed guard. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140222 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140222_mounted_3abe6a81-6637-4454-955e-cc1c71f1bb3c.jpg?v=1571610959 I know it’s your first time in 38 years, but what would happen if everyone was ten minutes late for work? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140224 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140224_mounted_188d907c-807d-49d9-97f9-6bb45837c533.jpg?v=1571610959 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140225 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140225_mounted_cba09c7e-cb78-4ca4-9c25-6d877e443a90.jpg?v=1571610960 Hold it! They’re out of season. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140226 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140226_mounted_8e6ce976-2f5a-441e-94b3-6272eb17bdea.jpg?v=1571610960 Try to relax. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140227 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140227_mounted_a03d9bdb-f344-4d53-8745-adb87e9e0f39.jpg?v=1571610960 Have a good vacation. I’ve decided not to give you your bad news until you get back. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140228 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140228_mounted_a3f989e6-b45d-404d-a3b6-64c220ac62a8.jpg?v=1571610960 You’re supposed to say ‘I do,’ not ‘I’ll try.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140301 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140301_mounted_8917fad6-634b-478f-8a92-77aeb8c25108.jpg?v=1571610960 Did you sleep okay, Herman? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140303 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140303_mounted.jpg?v=1571610960 Did you win? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140304 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140304_mounted_6bfd1d7b-30b1-42bc-b865-cead92f2627e.jpg?v=1571610960 I went for my driving lesson and you owe them a new car. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140305 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140305_mounted_3c51d816-130a-4282-b63f-d9d9d8cbec13.jpg?v=1571610960 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140306 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140306_mounted_58470981-288b-41ba-83e1-3c45a024a603.jpg?v=1571610960 WAIST EIGHTY-TWO. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140307 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140307_mounted_1f5e28ae-1bdd-47bd-8aa9-8d07abf56e62.jpg?v=1571610960 Would you like me to conduct one of your favorites? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140308 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140308_mounted_b42fc9ce-98a8-4b39-8c92-6c8305097168.jpg?v=1571610960 You told me to save money, so I got the economy size. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140310 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140310_mounted_da6cbaae-e17f-4a6e-be9e-b419a44ee835.jpg?v=1571610960 You can take it off to have your lunch. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140311 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140311_mounted_fc9ddaa4-79c8-4210-b8bc-950ee5ddeda7.jpg?v=1571610960 I hope it tastes good. It’s for the cat. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140312 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140312_mounted_aa72e4ec-af62-4798-aebf-4184e42de29d.jpg?v=1571610960 Don’t argue. I tell you I saw its eyes move. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140313 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140313_mounted_cf9deae0-242f-4a4d-84bd-5f984e619cba.jpg?v=1571610960 There, you leave your toys all over the floor and now Mommy can’t watch her favorite program. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140314 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140314_mounted_36346505-2f27-43ca-8c9b-9b25f756701f.jpg?v=1571610960 The man we’re looking for will be dynamic and aggressive. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140315 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140315_mounted_8b4218b5-aefe-423a-b1f4-183d2bfbce49.jpg?v=1571610960 Show me that piece of paper again with the calculations on it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140317 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140317_mounted_a21f2dbe-f6ad-4e39-9336-1d55e2eb83a5.jpg?v=1571610960 Do I get to try again? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140318 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140318_mounted_5d231476-c009-4781-95f2-1a8a38a03cea.jpg?v=1571610960 So that’s your story — you ‘hate to be late’. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140319 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140319_mounted_351ef944-bb71-41be-b457-aca332852098.jpg?v=1571610960 What happened?! Did I touch a nerve? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140320 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140320_mounted_1ebac12e-9070-4d11-adc4-a8420136dbff.jpg?v=1571610961 SLOW DOWN… WATCH THAT PUSSYCAT… TURN RIGHT HERE! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140321 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140321_mounted_b4ee42cb-e727-4de5-b4d7-fc16dbda8217.jpg?v=1571610961 Three nights in a row I’ve dreamt you were Dracula. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140322 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140322_mounted_a38b7dd4-a03c-47ab-8dc5-1d53336be99a.jpg?v=1571610961 I don’t care if it is plastic. I could have had a heart attack. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140324 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140324_mounted_f312c242-be3d-48ad-9043-3f4fa571dad8.jpg?v=1571610961 Night work! You mean when it’s dark? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140325 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140325_mounted_01fd7c20-6636-4aba-bd12-9151de19690e.jpg?v=1571610961 Have you got any others with more spikes? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140326 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140326_mounted_7e38c597-b39a-45f1-8780-7ef5de0477d2.jpg?v=1571610961 I’ll work my way up your arm and you tell me when you feel anything. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140327 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140327_mounted_61d4c32a-0a9e-40ee-b246-ec024ff155a1.jpg?v=1571610961 This is the third time this week. Why don’t you wear a T-shirt? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140328 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140328_mounted_d160f94e-889a-4c03-9935-8478eb65dd33.jpg?v=1571610961 I read somewhere that expensive champagne doesn’t go ‘pop.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140329 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140329_mounted_03bef4b5-b3f6-40a7-a945-62fe75064817.jpg?v=1571610961 I saw that same look four years ago. He’s got a royal flush. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140331 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140331_mounted_a200d680-79bc-41e3-956e-89bdda7c801f.jpg?v=1571610961 I know I won’t be losing a daughter. YOU’LL be gaining a mother-in-law. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140401 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140401_mounted_1206cdd8-b445-4d28-9cdb-b8e6e6f300f1.jpg?v=1571610961 Where did they get him from? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140402 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140402_mounted_ccc9ac0b-656d-423f-beb2-03aa8e4275a6.jpg?v=1571610961 Madam, giving your husband ‘twenty years in the slammer’ is not my idea of a divorce settlement. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140403 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140403_mounted_f4769843-c9a3-441e-8acc-f607abab6cb3.jpg?v=1571610961 I was in the neighborhood and I thought I’d drop in for a couple of weeks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140404 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140404_mounted_96c869a6-d545-4d32-8431-3182d0ea44a3.jpg?v=1571610961 The sporting goods store phoned. You left your hat on the counter. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140405 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140405_mounted_219bbc95-19f7-4b71-8067-56c62cdf8dca.jpg?v=1571610961 Why don’t you start climbing out and I’ll keep trying the buttons. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140407 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140407_mounted_55172527-1e9f-40d3-8e39-9bdd3c5947b6.jpg?v=1571610961 Whaddya making? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140408 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140408_mounted_c2b4bf41-2d9b-4043-973b-6f2166d1de68.jpg?v=1571610961 STAMPEDE! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140409 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140409_mounted_605a0cc0-2528-4de4-934a-a7cb01edb352.jpg?v=1571610961 Shall I turn it off? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140410 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140410_mounted_b45f1e7f-0d1d-461d-981e-c71eacc21cd2.jpg?v=1571610961 Mr. Henderson will see you now. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140411 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140411_mounted_943fa092-ac96-4ae2-a761-838386f20151.jpg?v=1571610961 It comes with a guarantee for five years or until you use it, whichever comes first. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140412 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140412_mounted_99c4e571-26b9-4f85-a77f-21ce88be1039.jpg?v=1571610961 Is that the only way you can have a good time… smashing up public property? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140414 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140414_mounted_0e3f53ae-c9ad-4e93-bf5b-ef5eb8454f76.jpg?v=1571610961 I thought this stuff was supposed to attract girls. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140415 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140415_mounted_10a09d02-3ccf-4545-bdaf-05719ee0574b.jpg?v=1571610961 Stay calm… I’m gonna get a second opinion on your blood pressure. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140416 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140416_mounted_eca8eefa-9822-4838-a319-d8b5e5f4072c.jpg?v=1571610961 Sure it’s big, but it’ll do an average room in three minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140417 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140417_mounted_3bee846b-7f30-445d-a8a7-849013dff54e.jpg?v=1571610961 Your wife took the new baby home in a cab an hour ago. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140418 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140418_mounted_87ad215f-a754-4168-898f-ea93fcdfd709.jpg?v=1571610961 I’m your anesthetist and he’s my ‘back-up man.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140419 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140419_mounted_9576e1c4-ee3d-4be2-89bc-e3cf1564c19b.jpg?v=1571610962 When we get back I’m having you charged with mutiny. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140421 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140421_mounted_f4a1a5cd-2d33-47e1-9213-1b056015c6c7.jpg?v=1571610962 I don’t care if it has got a bad leg. Get rid of it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140422 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140422_mounted_f08d341d-31c8-4555-86f1-07782cdbd811.jpg?v=1571610962 We want a gallon of paint to match our wallpaper. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140423 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140423_mounted_1a23ed0f-69dd-46b9-9f42-c1b22726ef25.jpg?v=1571610962 Don’t get mad, but I’ve lost my contact lenses. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140424 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140424_mounted_567be3de-4482-4f21-b66b-097035f45c9c.jpg?v=1571610962 You must know how you got in there. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140425 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140425_mounted_6bb8e563-2d54-410e-bbe5-71c92cb30c8f.jpg?v=1571610962 You’re certainly enjoying my little cakes. Have another one! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140426 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140426_mounted_d99a8c27-9995-4657-91f8-b7399b558dbf.jpg?v=1571610962 I found him working in the stockroom, J.D. He’s perfect! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140428 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140428_mounted_2a0bcf9e-9c48-4abb-8fc2-8ff2ec7d81e8.jpg?v=1571610962 Writing your autobiography! Who’s it about? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140429 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140429_mounted_0fd83644-78e5-4130-93dc-ba20c6c00b56.jpg?v=1571610962 Slice of wedding cake? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140430 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140430_mounted_e4b4a8ca-709e-4121-b4f2-2b0a886fb96c.jpg?v=1571610962 I take it you don’t want any of this cheese. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140501 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140501_mounted_e5f95ec9-75e7-4648-9979-b21de0cc440a.jpg?v=1571610962 I’ll only be gone for a month, so don’t use the kitchen. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140502 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140502_mounted_f31f3480-b520-455d-af4d-327ce4bbbb3e.jpg?v=1571610962 I make it a rule never to lend money to people who borrow! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140503 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140503_mounted_be77e4ec-9428-4dba-b398-8ec15fa9f1df.jpg?v=1571610962 There goes my tip, right? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140505 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140505_mounted_48f01e53-2072-433b-90c1-8c80d5c4d3ca.jpg?v=1571610962 Members of the jury, I ask you, does my client look like a man of violence? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140506 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140506_mounted_9acb910f-3bdf-4c69-a641-a878796f9d32.jpg?v=1571610962 You phoned me and said you had amnesia; don’t you remember? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140507 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140507_mounted_6a65de6b-ebe2-405c-9baf-5de0e3cab747.jpg?v=1571610962 And if you marry her, how do you intend to support me and my daughter? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140508 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140508_mounted_72aec756-ecee-4091-8d3d-c5f51657c7c9.jpg?v=1571610962 I’ve changed my mind. I’ll have a cheese sandwich. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140509 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140509_mounted_fbe9ecce-ac0d-45e9-a0a4-47768ff71dbe.jpg?v=1571610962 What song did you sing? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140510 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140510_mounted_2b9ea0e5-f210-4912-82bb-7a7812cd1cce.jpg?v=1571610962 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140512 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140512_mounted_1722e90c-bec3-4f27-b5ef-c96f073a2050.jpg?v=1571610962 It looked smaller in the store! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140513 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140513_mounted_6ff5a788-9ab9-4633-84f8-b5dcb7bc22aa.jpg?v=1571610962 Your plane’s been delayed ten minutes. A couple of rivets popped loose. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140514 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140514_mounted_3675ea2a-a88c-40d4-8453-b80bd5394e0f.jpg?v=1571610963 Saturday evenings with you are a real treat. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140515 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140515_mounted_a7b6a2b9-82c2-4243-b7b6-c44fd8af095e.jpg?v=1571610963 Wanna see the list of options? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140516 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140516_mounted_9c504bca-8c1a-43c1-813b-7a041e0b651e.jpg?v=1571610963 Don’t forget to lock up when you leave, Henderson. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140517 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140517_mounted_d4f57c27-f1c4-4d9c-8161-7790e324498b.jpg?v=1571610963 If I don’t get a pay-raise soon, I’m gonna blow the lid off this crummy zoo. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140519 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140519_mounted_2f7ddfd3-cc99-4d5b-bbeb-5448768e262a.jpg?v=1571610963 That’s just his way of saying he wants you to stay! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140520 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140520_mounted_a3b4a44c-1d21-4773-bbb5-37d54ddd9505.jpg?v=1571610963 If you’re sleep-walking toward the fridge, leave the ham alone! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140521 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140521_mounted_daaaf7a6-9d12-4a04-b8b4-4fcfa670e044.jpg?v=1571610963 Any other complaints? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140522 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140522_mounted_e90ff172-2084-4e08-af76-54351b00a0db.jpg?v=1571610963 Size what? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140523 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140523_mounted_dc7e9d81-fd7d-4123-a65f-fe3a94059eb8.jpg?v=1571610963 Thanks for phoning my boss for a raise. Now guess why I don’t have to set the alarm clock? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140524 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140524_mounted_773a647e-9e86-44e7-83ae-dec55dead401.jpg?v=1571610963 You’ve DEFINITELY got the flu. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140526 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140526_mounted_a663c849-654c-4386-9184-63401439bd7f.jpg?v=1571610963 Just give it your best shot. I’ve got a team of doctors standing by. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140527 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140527_mounted_d532e982-9657-42b4-95aa-0ec4beb54989.jpg?v=1571610963 D’you get the feeling one of us is getting ripped-off? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140528 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140528_mounted_d071a083-9864-4050-abf2-a2c55afc71cf.jpg?v=1571610963 Tomorrow morning I’m having you adopted. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140529 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140529_mounted_faad2ecb-d1a6-4e52-b4f0-be4a4c4b7ca2.jpg?v=1571610963 Will ya get a move on? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140530 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140530_mounted_1af2a4f5-dcfb-43bb-b85b-14b248e61acc.jpg?v=1571610963 Two of these just fell out of the car. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140531 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140531_mounted_617912f9-5815-4edf-8298-77af0a5a5bbf.jpg?v=1571610963 I only got one of those… you can have it for half-price. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140602 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140602_mounted_5f8884d0-b639-421f-a485-019d6d8722ca.jpg?v=1571610963 That pain-in-the-neck’s out here, doctor. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140603 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140603_mounted_c5e47706-b639-4859-bd5b-c51a930d581b.jpg?v=1571610963 Did he make you buy anything? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140604 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140604_mounted_666a6d5f-1c78-41fb-9633-9d776a345f8f.jpg?v=1571610963 One Hundred and One Ways to Rip Off Credit Companies’… is that cash or charge? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140605 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140605_mounted_7775c774-0b85-444a-b5ee-0ae45e75da2b.jpg?v=1571610963 Don’t forget to mark it ‘Personal.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140606 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140606_mounted_c60fd750-02c0-4b44-a4f0-769e875f3e9e.jpg?v=1571610963 I’m the babysitter. Where’s the fridge? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140607 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140607_mounted_7feec928-6652-46b7-bf79-ca8677d6931c.jpg?v=1571610963 When we say ‘parents invited’, we usually mean to sit and watch. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140609 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140609_mounted_5c8496aa-84f1-4702-a372-ba80ec711e0e.jpg?v=1571610963 Can I use your phone? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140610 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140610_mounted_20962856-2682-4ced-aa84-c4c8f47eda63.jpg?v=1571610963 I promise no more drilling if you let go. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140611 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140611_mounted_95ff5e88-32c2-409b-9019-e3dde18dd5b3.jpg?v=1571610963 Aren’t you going to phone the airport? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140612 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140612_mounted_6136e137-5430-44b2-9616-d52f686b65bd.jpg?v=1571610963 Chicken for breakfast, chicken for lunch, chicken for dinner. What d’you expect? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140613 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140613_mounted_05d58fea-2bd6-4576-9e93-5bea6b89ceb2.jpg?v=1571610963 Hey, come and see this. There’s a guy who’s been on strike for two years and he can’t remember where he works. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140614 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140614_mounted_29dee5dc-2eaa-4cbe-b267-bca82875d536.jpg?v=1571610963 FIRED! Does that mean I won’t get the raise? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140616 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140616_mounted_784bba9f-a4a5-458a-a1a3-4b6b898de3be.jpg?v=1571610964 Okay, you’ve got five minutes to capture my interest. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140617 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140617_mounted_30e67056-eb56-4c78-bd13-0442929b4c8e.jpg?v=1571610964 I’m trying to sleep. What have you got up here — a performing elephant? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140618 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140618_mounted_09afc949-7bc4-4131-a60c-74f2b3ecd4e1.jpg?v=1571610964 Okay, who’s next? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140619 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140619_mounted_3e3eb35f-d051-4372-bba8-cd3023867397.jpg?v=1571610964 I’ll be home soon; I’m at the Speedy Shoe Repair Boutique. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140620 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140620_mounted_a209d555-917d-49cb-81fe-2fdf5db37f03.jpg?v=1571610964 Pretend you’re a purse snatcher… I wanna try something. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140621 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140621_mounted_cf41dc43-21fc-4b2f-bb68-35223d852a82.jpg?v=1571610964 What accident? I told you I was making bookends. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140623 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140623_mounted_6fb1280e-f8cd-46e9-8f68-e060fc886dc2.jpg?v=1571610964 Whaddyer mean, ‘Which one is ours’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140624 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140624_mounted_e514b09d-2f6a-4401-afbe-f8fb644d4563.jpg?v=1571610964 He’s never flown before! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140625 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140625_mounted_76823718-8705-4aca-82f5-f58c0ea2b45c.jpg?v=1571610964 There! Aren’t you glad I made you wear your seat belt? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140626 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140626_mounted_1410980b-be83-4709-95ce-0967a00b9ab0.jpg?v=1571610964 Listen, I’ve got to go. Give my love to everyone in Australia. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140627 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140627_mounted_ee8f4c3f-4b0f-45ae-a638-d1183a86d969.jpg?v=1571610964 This is my nephew. I want you to spend the morning grooming him for your job. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140628 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140628_mounted_e072b44a-a76e-4379-b22c-088da87a633c.jpg?v=1571610964 Have I gotta sit here looking at you all the way to the park? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140630 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140630_mounted_55103859-7bb2-4cf3-aa29-3fd36c6904ac.jpg?v=1571610964 No, it’s definitely not the ON/OFF switch. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140701 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140701_mounted_a621ee88-1731-4757-9876-c4c9fb3dd7aa.jpg?v=1571610964 Want me to get you a shopping cart? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140702 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140702_mounted_34a18ab7-06c8-42d2-9d6f-973893d0aca2.jpg?v=1571610964 What a stroke of luck — you being in the Army with the head waiter. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140703 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140703_mounted_8426e30a-7d09-437a-a582-6b26b4226cfd.jpg?v=1571610964 For crying out loud! If it’s that important to you, take the afternoon off. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140704 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140704_mounted_1c8c5f0f-d9d2-4fbd-ba35-c4dba9b7e8a0.jpg?v=1571610964 Gimme the keys. Mom said I could borrow the car. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140705 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140705_mounted_7b5b0b4f-11c7-47f6-8f01-6812e6df2128.jpg?v=1571610964 Hey you. I’m trying to watch television. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140707 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140707_mounted_cf539527-52f7-4a01-b076-1354fea064d6.jpg?v=1571610964 Are you eating properly and getting plenty of exercise? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140708 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140708_mounted_5e692c91-9f0f-4297-b1b5-77f446f0e91e.jpg?v=1571610964 He says it’s no use. He’s GOTTA do it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140709 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140709_mounted_64d11489-ba7d-4094-8be1-a77bc709077e.jpg?v=1571610964 D’you realize we’ve been out for four hours and we’re not even on the third green? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140710 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140710_mounted_a96ab537-0d4e-4631-9cf6-e21eb4f6caf2.jpg?v=1571610964 Is that everything, just a bar of soap? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140711 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140711_mounted_d9a169c2-d03c-45cc-96cc-74e4537d51a0.jpg?v=1571610964 HOLD IT. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140712 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140712_mounted_b29a3b52-a469-4c47-9189-7c99c3829b42.jpg?v=1571610964 Onions… garlic… they all look the same to me. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140714 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140714_mounted_18cd15bb-70be-40aa-ad13-72bba303b4ec.jpg?v=1571610964 Here, don’t touch the stick. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140715 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140715_mounted_5949a1e1-3b03-43b3-a7b4-5bf48094d376.jpg?v=1571610964 I told you you’d planted it too close to the house. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140716 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140716_mounted_a55c39c2-e922-4d3d-99b7-722a1c9489c5.jpg?v=1571610964 If you’re going to wear that coat, I think you could use a lighter shade. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140717 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140717_mounted_26adc1ac-5fdc-4599-bbf1-8a2c0aef0506.jpg?v=1571610964 Did you knock? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140718 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140718_mounted_7bbfc67d-41e0-46ad-9427-2de528bd0d43.jpg?v=1571610965 Why don’t you buy a proper set of headphones? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140719 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140719_mounted_c15bd8c0-190c-46f2-819f-38ae04e09a88.jpg?v=1571610965 I called earlier but your wife said you hadn’t got the brains to read these books. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140721 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140721_mounted_489f36fc-651f-40cf-8e05-d694c0094f98.jpg?v=1571610965 She gets nervous when we use the new cups. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140722 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140722_mounted_5749eba0-0be2-4ce4-98d7-e342e938d17c.jpg?v=1571610965 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140723 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140723_mounted_0fe82abc-8acf-46da-ad19-d91b10cc98b2.jpg?v=1571610965 Don’t worry, this’ll probably hurt me more than you. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140724 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140724_mounted_7258c6ab-db0f-4e5e-bdf2-8b762eda0747.jpg?v=1571610965 Okay, take a break! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140725 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140725_mounted_a9fcd482-7708-410f-adb2-64ae7da41fef.jpg?v=1571610965 The cat had a fit! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140726 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140726_mounted_0db1c4d4-5778-4b32-b354-7b36a11825d7.jpg?v=1571610965 Commander, how does it feel to be back on Earth after six months of weightlessness? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140728 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140728_mounted_36480f48-6a1a-4093-ba85-f2914ceecdca.jpg?v=1571610965 This idiot opened all the windows halfway through the car wash. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140729 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140729_mounted_537d3b85-da37-4684-8dde-051c7af144b0.jpg?v=1571610965 There, let’s see a burglar get past that! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140730 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140730_mounted_6e5ae89d-a535-41e6-bd9d-bd700043bf20.jpg?v=1571610965 Why do you always decide to take a bath just when supper’s ready? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140731 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140731_mounted_61dd2cf6-a16d-4956-98c9-ebcc200fad16.jpg?v=1571610965 Look in my sister’s blue bag. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140801 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140801_mounted_c395f416-810b-4fea-84e2-c7430fcf6bcd.jpg?v=1571610965 I know it’s sudden, but I want a divorce! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140802 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140802_mounted_4f8137bf-8efa-464b-8ed3-e1144736a008.jpg?v=1571610965 Who’s going to have their injection? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140804 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140804_mounted_f3ad8b06-0a79-4b34-a9c3-d711e4803a7f.jpg?v=1571610965 I don’t think I’ll bother with a tan ‘til I get out. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140805 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140805_mounted_2b936b71-03ee-405b-b541-d3360b60f48c.jpg?v=1571610965 I’m getting sick of watching that water cooler go past at ten minutes after nine every morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140806 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140806_mounted_702b34b3-25de-4128-9001-5192d65ed0d9.jpg?v=1571610965 You always said you liked it strong. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140807 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140807_mounted_d2ffdd3f-726f-40a1-9f69-3a7d2af9eae6.jpg?v=1571610965 I don’t care if you are the boss. You tell him! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140808 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140808_mounted_7239075c-4953-48dc-8271-d86681f93b12.jpg?v=1571610965 Here, get a move on. I’ve got some big tippers waiting for this table. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140809 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140809_mounted_792c429d-7bca-445c-823e-fbca9f176043.jpg?v=1571610965 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140811 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140811_mounted_6f6922cc-867e-43bc-96a7-883ba638dab0.jpg?v=1571610965 STAY! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140812 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140812_mounted_d94845f1-202b-4795-bc63-1ed7640eccca.jpg?v=1571610965 I’ve got a terrible headache. I think I’m gonna make an example of you. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140813 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140813_mounted_ab57f8db-2e21-46a9-b410-76add044e38a.jpg?v=1571610965 Let me see those gloves. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140814 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140814_mounted_5434be1e-17c7-40fc-aa4c-fbd0b7ec3586.jpg?v=1571610965 Why don’t you go to a proper dentist? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140815 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140815_mounted_00fc2d21-9080-45ad-96d4-2c9ddd917969.jpg?v=1571610965 If you read the instructions, dummy, you’d see there’s one switch for drying and another for styling. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140816 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140816_mounted_2c56b28d-b4fe-44ca-9814-b94ca0730767.jpg?v=1571610966 I think it represents man’s eternal struggle for freedom. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140818 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140818_mounted_30ea25cf-f50b-470e-bc6f-1fa8f6ce9a41.jpg?v=1571610966 You’ll never make the ‘bigtime’ ‘til you start taking credit cards. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140819 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140819_mounted_78b3b6e8-4853-4893-a135-1b969afdbfe3.jpg?v=1571610966 If you’ve got any screaming to do, wait until you get off the premises. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140820 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140820_mounted_5c0f3c2d-9e2d-4c65-bec0-315d7db70337.jpg?v=1571610966 Look on the bright side. You’ve still got your new captain’s hat. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140821 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140821_mounted_c3a942d4-df0e-48bb-b52d-7da8b1c72cd5.jpg?v=1571610966 I know he’s got funny feet but you haven’t seen him swim. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140822 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140822_mounted_33950d4e-4f59-4661-a680-ae5a02db6962.jpg?v=1571610966 I think it’s the TV repairman. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140823 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140823_mounted_9e31b83b-8925-4ed2-aaa5-55375cf9bb8a.jpg?v=1571610966 Now, imagine you’ve cornered a bear and he runs into an abandoned house. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140825 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140825_mounted_9fb925df-cfdf-4890-b662-de6d87741ef7.jpg?v=1571610966 Whaddyer think, Ma, eighty-five bucks? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140826 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140826_mounted_9461ec99-8e02-404a-8771-172c70965f89.jpg?v=1571610966 Don’t you want your receipt? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140827 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140827_mounted_0b371735-19b2-45cf-aa21-98294744c6b8.jpg?v=1571610966 Maybe next time you’ll think twice about losing your key. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140828 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140828_mounted_585c36fb-6270-419d-ab81-4858cda5810c.jpg?v=1571610966 Ask him if he ever heard of a tortoise having a heart attack. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140829 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140829_mounted_3f2d7865-d9e8-4fdc-abb9-69040a34189b.jpg?v=1571610966 This is Blue Buzzard, good buddy; Smokey’s on the warpath. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140830 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140830_mounted_145a878f-6d95-4b51-9a59-457cc5a1e54a.jpg?v=1571610966 I suppose you realize your alarm clock didn’t go off and you’re an hour late for work? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140901 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140901_mounted_3083257c-bf6a-4e7f-b3f8-77ba5dfcef77.jpg?v=1571610966 You’re looking a lot better today, Ralph. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140902 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140902_mounted_497ab78c-dfb0-4f53-9ed3-9de24133d2d6.jpg?v=1571610966 Whaddyer mean, ‘nothing to do’? Who do you think defrosts the fridge? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140903 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140903_mounted_efcee423-e833-41f5-a4cf-af2e8a294222.jpg?v=1571610966 You getting athlete’s foot is about as ridiculous as a coal miner with sunstroke! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140904 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140904_mounted_fbd0fa5e-1452-4e3b-997a-56caf3030f17.jpg?v=1571610966 Have I got time for a cup of coffee? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140905 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140905_mounted_f8ea33f4-f3ae-49d4-988a-bf21dfdf88dd.jpg?v=1571610966 And you wonder why I never want to go to Italian restaurants! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140908 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140908_mounted_7774b1ce-b3a2-4e3d-89e8-3e673195cda9.jpg?v=1571610966 The results of your tests were negative. Get lost! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140909 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140909_mounted_8b93787d-aba0-4a42-a440-d9c82e6959c6.jpg?v=1571610966 Why take a week off? You’ve got time to get married and have a honeymoon on one of your coffee breaks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140910 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140910_mounted_3199c6e3-0111-4da2-9400-e22fde0ee143.jpg?v=1571610966 That was a good idea, sending out for pizza while the elevator’s on the fritz. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140911 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140911_mounted_07fd3827-d9cb-46cc-bf4c-777916beca8b.jpg?v=1571610966 I’d better warn you. If my grades don’t start improving, one of us won’t be getting a new bike for Christmas. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140912 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140912_mounted_5de88788-9060-4470-8f40-7475aeaaa00e.jpg?v=1571610966 Listen, if you want to eat in the office BRING SANDWICHES! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140913 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140913_mounted_e0370cdf-c74c-4c19-9805-870fb6134a03.jpg?v=1571610967 Try to imagine how much I care! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140915 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140915_mounted_6464bef1-de5f-4a4c-9650-f719309c93e4.jpg?v=1571610967 It was supposed to be Mom, but I messed it up. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140916 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140916_mounted_6aa48edc-738d-4b5f-9538-27ffad1772d1.jpg?v=1571610967 How come I never get a copy of the script? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140917 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140917_mounted_0bb2c268-90a5-4678-9882-7dd73c618a15.jpg?v=1571610967 It just says, ‘Windows repaired — five bucks.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140918 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140918_mounted_1c5201f4-0433-47a0-b8fe-fa81243f5286.jpg?v=1571610967 His English teacher says he’s a ‘cool dude.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140919 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140919_mounted_81e293a1-b56f-4253-9e4e-e922dd041cf2.jpg?v=1571610967 There! It fits like a glove when you stand up straight. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140920 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140920_mounted_7a8fca08-94d1-4d86-a284-9624c422b968.jpg?v=1571610967 You’re fighting the King in the semi-finals, so just duck once and he won’t get too tired. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140922 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140922_mounted_f989e0f5-1c4a-460c-9597-7112b9620dbf.jpg?v=1571610967 As soon as my arms get tired, I’ll come down and you can have a go. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140923 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140923_mounted_e5187698-64c4-4fb5-b7b2-ec94b00fa580.jpg?v=1571610967 I’ve got two other applicants to see before I make my final choice. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140924 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140924_mounted_99a46b71-297b-49b5-96bb-cd7df6d4561f.jpg?v=1571610967 You must have run a mile this time — you’ve been gone four minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140925 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140925_mounted_780a6832-078f-4970-ba42-b0d4293b1b72.jpg?v=1571610967 Even as a kid I was a slow eater. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140926 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140926_mounted_415d159e-8d43-4b36-b715-8d7ae5ea2d2f.jpg?v=1571610967 This is your last chance. If you scalp this one, you’re through. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140927 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140927_mounted_da78bc76-7ad2-4718-8585-c4cb4685b6db.jpg?v=1571610967 Yeah? Well if people look like their pets, why don’t you go home and look after your gorilla? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140929 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140929_mounted_4d65b881-049c-4d4d-8ad8-4ef48dc8707c.jpg?v=1571610967 Psst, boss. I guess this is not a good time to ask for a raise, huh? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140930 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140930_mounted_4bf88732-acc7-49b7-ac22-56d6123af2a0.jpg?v=1571610967 How would you like to eat off the floor every day? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141001 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141001_mounted_b1c5747a-5566-4181-a3a3-6f155bbb9bcd.jpg?v=1571610967 We’re not gonna charge you for this first lesson. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141002 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141002_mounted_50cb75ed-f797-4165-a8ad-a6943ef901e9.jpg?v=1571610967 Suppose we decide not to watch one night. Do you remember how to switch it off? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141003 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141003_mounted_df0316d8-f177-4dd6-97f9-05c743d69c21.jpg?v=1571610967 My mistake! I thought I heard a noise down here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141004 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141004_mounted_50d7cb3e-9d75-4621-976a-1bf8ac202b3b.jpg?v=1571610967 Start? Start what? I thought you said you hired me to take care of the books. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141006 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141006_mounted_140ed148-96ac-464d-b6de-0e522a11589f.jpg?v=1571610967 Got any books on dog training? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141007 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141007_mounted_8c1a5c1e-4995-4e9e-ae4f-ba8d9e147357.jpg?v=1571610967 Did you shake the bottle? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141008 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141008_mounted_3ab5ee13-74fa-4cb1-a1ba-c88b0938de57.jpg?v=1571610967 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141009 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141009_mounted_98f37b6f-002a-4c08-a56f-1489022d39a3.jpg?v=1571610967 I warned you about iron tonic. Your stomach’s rusty. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141010 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141010_mounted_08363eff-d2a6-4509-a604-0b547f9a3e12.jpg?v=1571610967 This looks good… ‘Mailman flavored.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141011 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141011_mounted_29975610-6936-4ae0-8fa2-be5e2474a701.jpg?v=1571610967 You’re looking at it upside down! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141013 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141013_mounted_338d4565-3fa1-4d23-b7b2-2a006e0904e7.jpg?v=1571610967 Don’t go rushing into marriage. Look around for a couple of years like your mother did. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141014 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141014_mounted_c3290b61-235f-4d66-a510-41055d7b554c.jpg?v=1571610967 Who’s calling? D’you know what time it is? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141015 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141015_mounted_6b47b832-1534-4bd6-bfb3-9799ce49c48e.jpg?v=1571610968 Can’t you sit still for five minutes? What d’yer want the camera for? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141016 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141016_mounted_dc192816-384e-4a6f-9e45-b6fc88b50f08.jpg?v=1571610968 He’s getting better. He can remember everything now except getting married. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141017 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141017_mounted_d7953325-5239-4386-b1f7-c3400c9dfa58.jpg?v=1571610968 You’re early. What’cha do, catch the three o’clock broom? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141018 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141018_mounted_c697bfa7-ad47-492c-9083-da9011e416fe.jpg?v=1571610968 What did he mean, ‘Love is blind’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141020 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141020_mounted_3d297aee-dc00-4e90-b43f-7bc5a897f399.jpg?v=1571610968 Did you feel the earthquake? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141021 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141021_mounted_9f6b1048-86dd-4510-b756-5d50d00c02df.jpg?v=1571610968 I GOT A HOLE-IN-ONE! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141022 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141022_mounted_8e9dbf79-5557-4d4a-9c7d-7849dba91aa1.jpg?v=1571610968 Take that cereal out in the yard ‘til it stops snapping and crackling. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141023 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141023_mounted_8bb8115a-837f-4d1d-975c-eb7a4462be02.jpg?v=1571610968 If you remember, I did mention possible side-effects. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141024 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141024_mounted_8a3f9931-06e6-46d5-828e-40cb0f51f33b.jpg?v=1571610968 How come God put all the vitamins in cabbage and nothing in candy? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141025 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141025_mounted_3cc51962-37e2-4869-b46a-cd4c0e670782.jpg?v=1571610968 You’ve got Egyptian flu. You’re going to be a ‘mummy.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141027 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141027_mounted_27544d40-96ef-4e5d-84ea-bdc204ee0a62.jpg?v=1571610968 I thought you told me we didn’t give ‘cash refunds.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141028 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141028_mounted_e8cebf19-26f8-4f46-810d-1cf57a6ba06a.jpg?v=1571610968 I hate to disturb you at mealtime, but can I borrow a cup of sugar? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141029 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141029_mounted_13eecd1b-70a2-49c4-9a71-6d7497c7194b.jpg?v=1571610968 You’re washing the floor with tomorrow’s soup-of-the-day! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141030 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141030_mounted_45121dcb-4ce5-4c94-a03b-adc292afa77a.jpg?v=1571610968 If I can’t get a summer job this year, I think I’ll get married. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141031 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141031_mounted_653fac4b-5b3b-4513-bbcd-72a7ee98223c.jpg?v=1571610968 Don’t blame me. I was cleaning his cage and he flew up the pipe. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141101 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141101_mounted_c4458b24-a7fb-49be-8b58-f6f5d0b1f58b.jpg?v=1571610968 Let’s face it; if you’d really loved me, you’d have married someone else! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141103 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141103_mounted_d4271f0e-e5b7-4cde-b4de-6c5303a822fc.jpg?v=1571610968 If you want a concise, professional opinion: You’re as nutty as a fruitcake. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141104 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141104_mounted_154b6da2-db1a-4516-9ad3-739008882ca9.jpg?v=1571610968 You know, if you keep telling me about birds and bees, I’m gonna lose interest in girls. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141105 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141105_mounted_4e3c497a-6346-4ab6-9eef-bb5ed27265a3.jpg?v=1571610968 You’ve got to start sometime. Why don’t you operate on this one? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141106 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141106_mounted_d7ad2972-3507-492e-8ca4-6f572e0d530a.jpg?v=1571610968 Smarten up! Sometimes I think your father’s got more brains than you have. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141107 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141107_mounted_141af130-a052-4b0d-aa4c-230c4063650d.jpg?v=1571610968 He’s a self-made man. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141108 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141108_mounted_e4d4bbf3-0687-4e03-b8f7-54ed3380a038.jpg?v=1571610968 That’s the second time you’ve fallen asleep in the bath with your mouth open. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141111 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141111_mounted_27f606ab-cd50-498f-8262-d913543188eb.jpg?v=1571610968 It’s nothing personal, Harold, but you make me sick and I never want to see you again. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141112 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141112_mounted_7bb69347-afe9-4a41-823d-604faa783b4e.jpg?v=1571610968 For a guy who writes his diary a month in advance, yes I’d say you were in a rut. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141113 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141113_mounted_1c68c255-0083-4338-9afa-08490774de09.jpg?v=1571610968 You’ve got an hour to paint your nails and talk to your mother. I’m going to a meeting. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141114 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141114_mounted_b2f6af4b-f9d8-4240-b994-334eb856d31f.jpg?v=1571610969 How could anyone sit on a welding torch? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141115 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141115_mounted_4ca29848-5042-46b7-83d4-a731b367f1c5.jpg?v=1571610969 I told you I was smart. My teacher says she’s given up trying to teach me anything. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141117 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141117_mounted_d890a0ec-c501-42dc-8cc6-a39290743b7c.jpg?v=1571610969 Of course I care for you. Money and looks aren’t everything you know! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141118 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141118_mounted_f4c25bc4-a2d8-4bf2-9d54-82b6874b13d8.jpg?v=1571610969 Don’t be such a miser! Take him on the Rocket Ride again. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141119 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141119_mounted_e607d49f-1fc7-4eb5-8922-69281a81512a.jpg?v=1571610969 Wake up, Daddy. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141120 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141120_mounted_33bfa61e-93db-48bb-8ead-249fee4d8049.jpg?v=1571610969 QUIT SHOVING! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141121 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141121_mounted_d9bed241-b89b-42ba-99bf-6a502597c83d.jpg?v=1571610969 Come along, Polly. Let Mr. Herman finish his coffee. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141122 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141122_mounted_a1629b8b-8a2e-4c70-b22a-90d59bb6ffdd.jpg?v=1571610969 All the clocks have stopped! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141124 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141124_mounted_d4336c96-2d77-40d0-a9cb-28fde16c5760.jpg?v=1571610969 I can promise you I wake up at the slightest sound. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141125 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141125_mounted_3ab73e72-63df-40e0-8b02-fdc413beba3b.jpg?v=1571610969 See that?! I forgot to tighten the nut. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141126 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141126_mounted_e36a8854-8340-4c09-8c19-0d815e27cf39.jpg?v=1571610969 Take it easy, take it easy. I’ve come to fix the window. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141127 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141127_mounted_e1bb3dd8-7206-4247-9fe9-c93eb6398b7c.jpg?v=1571610969 Whaddya mean ‘checkmate’? Get to bed. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141128 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141128_mounted_c142b44f-63b0-48bc-b702-e573d082ca92.jpg?v=1571610969 Why don’t you let your husband go to the ball game? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141129 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141129_mounted_67a9c359-edf9-41f3-830f-b02e1ec89f0e.jpg?v=1571610969 He thinks we’re muggers! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141201 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141201_mounted_499d285a-75cb-4641-ad7a-7e496c8c5fdf.jpg?v=1571610969 This is the latest vegetable slicer from France. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141202 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141202_mounted_84740f0e-3584-40ed-b5a9-14d19a29ad52.jpg?v=1571610969 I’d know your scrawl anywhere, you creep! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141203 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141203_mounted_1c205c24-c3c8-4f1f-b599-36ded5538aa6.jpg?v=1571610969 You’re my last hope, Harry. Can I borrow your dinner jacket? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141204 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141204_mounted_6bf2d3c4-649b-48a3-b483-5e17cf9495e9.jpg?v=1571610969 Will ya take a check? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141205 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141205_mounted_afc026b1-54f2-4606-b887-8a3ee8c1a641.jpg?v=1571610969 This is my first day. When do we get paid? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141206 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141206_mounted_a2308369-cc15-4fb6-8133-9c6179789eb1.jpg?v=1571610969 For the tenth time, I’m NOT going bowling. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141208 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141208_mounted_1569ccb1-eee0-4208-b1b1-20b50e3d76e5.jpg?v=1571610969 Debbie looks exactly like me when I was 18. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141209 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141209_mounted_e7af8496-1576-43a9-bd35-ddf94b9c0c54.jpg?v=1571610969 D’ya like that blue? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141210 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141210_mounted_3d36dece-4306-4199-ae1e-668604e72497.jpg?v=1571610969 I’ll trade you two future episodes of 'Community' for tonight’s 'Breaking Bad.' https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141212 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141212_mounted_fefe8a2b-c2af-48fe-865f-aff3332c31d9.jpg?v=1571610969 You ever thought of selling this recipe to the Pentagon? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141213 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141213_mounted_dff2bb45-297a-45bb-b750-4a31c6d9219e.jpg?v=1571610969 Come on, Dad, it’s over! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141215 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141215_mounted_d26e8516-db77-4d98-9e70-483f3d75db53.jpg?v=1571610969 I thought I’d put in a little vegetable garden. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141216 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141216_mounted_3ec78915-3388-4cda-b034-e5972e9c2574.jpg?v=1571610970 Did it ever cross your mind that maybe you’re being out-smarted? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141217 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141217_mounted_d4981d49-0383-40c4-bed2-621708bf6f2c.jpg?v=1571610970 I’ll leave you to park the car, I’m going to bed. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141218 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141218_mounted_5962f81a-8a02-4faa-a598-fd1549b30e66.jpg?v=1571610970 How long have you had your feet on the wrong legs? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141219 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141219_mounted_a94e3ad1-a85f-4985-91fc-bfa092877077.jpg?v=1571610970 Maybe you’re beginning to get the message that we need a recreation room. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141220 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141220_mounted_72c7cfe8-dd6f-461c-a24a-002c65acf674.jpg?v=1571610970 I cut a piece off the bottom and patched your shirt. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141222 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141222_mounted_e50c458e-8e6f-430b-83ec-2da396f06610.jpg?v=1571610970 Is it okay to leave if I lose all my money? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141223 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141223_mounted_427fc29d-55ca-4f31-9179-ad3ea3aa22cb.jpg?v=1571610970 Herm, want me to make a little hole and feed you some grapes? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141224 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141224_mounted_8c271044-ef78-4e56-a268-921ef464c39e.jpg?v=1571610970 Fifteen years is not so long. You’ve already done 12 days. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141225 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141225_mounted_40c350c0-de4c-484c-a0e8-6fd5a5cfad0a.jpg?v=1571610970 He had his heart set on a cowboy suit. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141226 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141226_mounted_c7cac159-491d-468c-878e-6b87fe902cde.jpg?v=1571610970 Well, well… My secret file tells me that since 1998 this is your grandmother’s seventh funeral. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141227 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141227_mounted_c945d081-d003-45c6-bfdb-5e126255e821.jpg?v=1571610970 Normally I ignore things said to me in fun at the Christmas party, however… https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141229 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141229_mounted_a7d015b4-2ccd-42e8-ba3f-c5f166521cfb.jpg?v=1571610970 I got fantastic references from my last five jobs but I lost them on the way over here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141230 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141230_mounted_59b6e6ab-5baf-4398-a268-5f47c58956f6.jpg?v=1571610970 Hope it’s not too dry. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141231 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141231_mounted_d4b8dfa5-937c-4228-a6df-1ec6257356b3.jpg?v=1571610970 Memorize this, it’s your New Year resolutions. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150101 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150101_mounted_87b2f570-8293-4567-b248-8d841753de8b.jpg?v=1571610970 What about our religious differences? I worship money and you’re broke! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150102 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150102_mounted_1a4165b7-3484-4c4e-a3df-8912b585226f.jpg?v=1571610970 It says here you’re intelligent, honest and reliable. What makes you think you’d be an asset to this company? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150103 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150103_mounted_2de5cf27-bb6d-434e-a1dd-94aad351e029.jpg?v=1571610970 I see you taking a trip. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150105 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150105_mounted_a8c17d8a-7b06-4b1f-84fc-a44034b2c931.jpg?v=1571610970 If you keep bugging me about getting married, I’m gonna break off our engagement. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150106 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150106_mounted_f06d0554-65f3-4000-b177-5116c6dcfcc7.jpg?v=1571610970 If I keep going to school, all the best jobs are gonna be snapped up. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150107 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150107_mounted_525da513-76c0-4741-b538-10d434835344.jpg?v=1571610970 Well, if a fool and his money are soon parted, who’s got yours? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150108 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150108_mounted_c9469081-ae02-4d13-b224-80c8f8e1d29e.jpg?v=1571610971 As I remember, you always were a big kid for your age. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150109 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150109_mounted_20df582b-30d4-4a53-8e52-fa3a68be9593.jpg?v=1571610971 If you want your money back, say so! Don’t give me that guff about it being too noisy. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150110 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150110_mounted_5c2ff4d6-ea67-46bf-8124-74bb92ebe57f.jpg?v=1571610971 I’m not making any more cakes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150112 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150112_mounted_5c6ed0bc-453b-405b-be5b-2468d0578413.jpg?v=1571610971 Leave the car keys just in case something grabs you out there. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150113 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150113_mounted_3d336a2b-c8f5-4f51-9c24-d1ff71b086d0.jpg?v=1571610971 Another good feature of this home is that it’s within a stone’s throw of several schools. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150114 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150114_mounted_08149f39-e245-4106-9caf-0a33319c06dc.jpg?v=1571610971 Stop whining. I caught it so I’ll carry it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150115 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150115_mounted_fba154a1-5208-4bcb-9805-8f111a920783.jpg?v=1571610971 Are you sure you’re comfortable like that? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150116 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150116_mounted_b47edd33-676b-4d80-9173-6d0c1ae848e3.jpg?v=1571610971 You can’t afford to get married on the salary I’m paying you! One day you’ll thank me. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150117 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150117_mounted_bc233df6-0901-469a-8eb7-d9440df07f8a.jpg?v=1571610971 That must have been one heavy suitcase! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150119 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150119_mounted_c550c1bd-cb22-4e53-8fc1-fd91a8775ed3.jpg?v=1571610971 I thought that clown had fixed the ‘. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150120 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150120_mounted_90b561e8-7ddf-48c5-9085-38f4f33ca5b5.jpg?v=1571610971 You’d better stay off solid food for an hour or two. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150121 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150121_mounted_478900f9-01f6-413f-887a-f3c867c0059e.jpg?v=1571610971 GET YOUR ELBOWS OFF THE TABLE! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150122 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150122_mounted_7e7ad2c4-142e-4e20-99cb-7de10b6922f8.jpg?v=1571610971 No one said the job was gonna be a bed of roses. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150123 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150123_mounted_d445af94-7659-46a1-9ae2-c3fc9b0dfc16.jpg?v=1571610971 Oh, darn. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150124 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150124_mounted_c7d260f5-baae-4954-8fe0-da7e13838ce6.jpg?v=1571610971 I wanted to leave you a tip but I haven’t got change for a quarter. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150126 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150126_mounted_80eaab3c-3e4c-4189-a779-42e7685edf93.jpg?v=1571610971 I hate to mention it but there was a $1.80 on the meter when I hit that truck. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150127 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150127_mounted_7ba6b382-a500-4d25-b032-b27a6737c653.jpg?v=1571610971 Your son-in-law’s not here this afternoon. He’s gone to your funeral. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150128 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150128_mounted_9b8f6400-6b43-49b8-9446-c67b62ea7f70.jpg?v=1571610971 They said he wasn’t to leave the office ‘til the books balanced. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150129 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150129_mounted_74df1a39-7b0c-4aaa-bb82-8756a44efda8.jpg?v=1571610971 Let me guess. She gave you your money back. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150130 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150130_mounted_e15cc13a-84e4-41a9-9390-b4bc280eaab3.jpg?v=1571610971 How are you getting on with the diet? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150131 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150131_mounted_2031eb28-0e0e-4c71-b0fd-f6980bcc897d.jpg?v=1571610971 Keep going! I’ll run out and mortgage the house and meet you at the check-out. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150202 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150202_mounted_6bd3452c-8acd-4919-9875-610a54fa28ae.jpg?v=1571610971 You dropped it. You get it! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150203 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150203_mounted_d47cd784-f552-4f59-8d82-3d7511ecd72d.jpg?v=1571610971 Where do you get off taking out your own appendix? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150204 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150204_mounted_cac3f4d5-8a21-4c48-9e15-6457aff40597.jpg?v=1571610971 I’ve got no way of knowing who started this fight so I’m going to fine you both $50. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150205 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150205_mounted_74bb9d59-b34a-4fb6-88df-589b8d796d74.jpg?v=1571610971 Will you shove off. I’m sick of your jealousy! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150206 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150206_mounted_9785349d-563b-4c51-8655-4e90ea242632.jpg?v=1571610971 Hiya, Jonesy, you still watching that 50-inch TV? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150207 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150207_mounted_7a354dac-f375-4e3b-9df9-241394bbfdf3.jpg?v=1571610971 Don’t keep saying you don’t like them. You’ve only had them on for five minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150209 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150209_mounted_0873c704-7fdc-4b31-8e12-f0ea6d5bbc7b.jpg?v=1571610972 It’s just a simple little operation, but we want you to pay now. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150210 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150210_mounted_6eaad589-08ba-4f04-83c6-d03f5bbed949.jpg?v=1571610972 I think he’s trying to tell us he can’t paint! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150211 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150211_mounted_58fba41c-1791-4333-bdeb-486ea3953a50.jpg?v=1571610972 Give me a week’s warning before they let you out of here and I’ll clean the kitchen. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150212 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150212_mounted_cfa621c4-0fab-4a20-8c22-d4210d585fe0.jpg?v=1571610972 How could I have been doing 70 miles an hour when I’ve only been driving for ten minutes? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150213 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150213_mounted_6c78e931-b8c9-410e-8b92-3f4f5b2f7707.jpg?v=1571610972 Your nest-egg just hatched. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150214 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150214_mounted_57b0a0ad-f7d6-44cd-9401-153d4d58d863.jpg?v=1571610972 Come in, Coach. I wanna discuss your lifetime contract. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150216 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150216_mounted_8276896c-80e0-4a25-863f-363339aea73c.jpg?v=1571610972 You’ve just turned this restaurant into a ‘non-profit’ organization. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150217 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150217_mounted_01a35837-5d9d-40df-aa49-732e4b023f5b.jpg?v=1571610972 If you were a horse, we would have shot you! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150218 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150218_mounted_c04e3dea-24e2-4988-9fd7-c4c776f3b000.jpg?v=1571610972 Who gets the triple ‘jumbo-burger’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150219 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150219_mounted_290601ab-b188-4bb7-baa7-9ba426717373.jpg?v=1571610972 I don’t mind a long wait in here; the food’s terrible. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150220 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150220_mounted_f1dc4876-3211-4732-9625-6034bbad106f.jpg?v=1571610972 Sure you were good at history. You were there for most of it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150221 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150221_mounted_5463a96a-d8da-4a3b-8f25-4f576a0a3287.jpg?v=1571610972 The bank wants to lend us $5,000 to get out of debt. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150223 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150223_mounted_be9e213a-b348-458d-a747-1efaa633144c.jpg?v=1571610972 I’m gonna say my prayers. D’ya need anything? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150224 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150224_mounted_290ccf81-6121-4f82-87b8-fa905f09ad13.jpg?v=1571610972 You mean I’ve gotta pay tax on money I’ve already spent? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150225 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150225_mounted_d9c8982b-e754-4f32-9146-7d1b5633ea2c.jpg?v=1571610972 I wanna open a joint-account with somenone who’s got plenty of dough. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150226 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150226_mounted_96bfb587-97b5-4486-8eda-ee5d4c7fda76.jpg?v=1571610972 I wanted a steady worker, but you’re absolutely motionless. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150227 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150227_mounted_a598396a-46e7-4aaf-943e-f896919c4eb1.jpg?v=1571610972 I’m telling you; you don’t have a complex. You ARE inferior. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150228 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150228_mounted_1e776eb5-73a2-499d-ad95-9c0e628c7174.jpg?v=1571610972 The way you carry on, you’d think I enjoy these business trips. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150302 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150302_mounted_807e11ed-0957-456a-a616-3fb9a06218b8.jpg?v=1571610972 They said something about five thousand U.F.O.’s landing in Idaho, then cut to a commercial. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150303 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150303_mounted_6d9ca5c0-8d69-4554-a10f-af22dd3c09d8.jpg?v=1571610972 I appreciate this is your first day at the zoo, but from now on just paint the empty cages. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150304 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150304_mounted_43e94bc5-a314-43a4-8bcd-373bbbf6358b.jpg?v=1571610972 Where’s the kids? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150305 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150305_mounted_01b8a185-f564-4264-8ec3-c4caba794d96.jpg?v=1571610972 As I see it, you’ve got a choice between a ‘birdie’ and promotion to branch manager. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150306 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150306_mounted_fe8efb5d-3908-410c-9c7d-b0e1cdfeeb25.jpg?v=1571610972 I know there’s a lot of things more important than money, and they’re all expensive! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150307 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150307_mounted_c5783314-ce39-4d11-a231-6ee58fbf36c2.jpg?v=1571610972 I can do shorthand! It just takes a little longer. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150309 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150309_mounted_26b350dc-5572-471d-ac7f-9ab681d07e30.jpg?v=1571610972 He wouldn’t eat it so I put in some dirt and made it look like mud. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150310 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150310_mounted_689528ae-feee-4731-b000-d6f7c33246a9.jpg?v=1571610972 Mom said we can get married and live in the dining room if you don’t mind eating in the kitchen. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150311 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150311_mounted_55bdf2cf-5b1f-4ac3-9c00-e59fd4801a25.jpg?v=1571610972 Can’t you ever get sick without bringing home one of those? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150312 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150312_mounted_4ef5a99e-684f-46ee-a2ab-48ca94078620.jpg?v=1571610972 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, the bride and groom! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150313 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150313_mounted_11695b33-1e12-440e-ad03-8d7c621d432f.jpg?v=1571610973 I see you’ve listed your hobbies as alpine skiing, scuba, sky-diving, treasure hunting and climbing Mount Everest. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150314 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150314_mounted_0b1045bc-8e20-4ac8-aba2-034c9e811161.jpg?v=1571610973 Congratulations! He seems very bright. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150316 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150316_mounted_a9d589c5-ac84-468a-a607-1b79a7938d93.jpg?v=1571610973 Get off that oily man with your best shoes on. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150317 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150317_mounted_905a59e0-3ef3-4c2a-8894-d1ab9622e678.jpg?v=1571610973 If you’re so dead-set against gambling, how come you’re still in the marriage business? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150318 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150318_mounted_d804b509-e542-49b8-be20-f8c89ad52ea0.jpg?v=1571610973 Look what your stupid uncle gave us. What d’you think it is? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150319 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150319_mounted_2ba94c5a-e82b-471d-9c99-429beadbc396.jpg?v=1571610973 Judy, are you gonna elope or not? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150320 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150320_mounted_62ce4a6c-8369-4bc9-bf4c-99c3c9520582.jpg?v=1571610973 You’re sure I’ll be able to swim with it? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150321 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150321_mounted_c486ea44-6ed9-4bcf-953e-5fd53708957e.jpg?v=1571610973 I can’t explain now, but don’t take your jacket off at work. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150323 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150323_mounted_b467f51d-b423-4857-923b-3b6eba2cfccc.jpg?v=1571610973 We can’t live with my parents. They’re still living with their parents! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150324 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150324_mounted_21d4e649-69cd-4966-954a-f355c5cd6165.jpg?v=1571610973 Mr. Harrison took-off for South America with the company pay-roll. D’yer wanna leave a message? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150325 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150325_mounted_7d67bb42-98b7-4e43-8539-63dc9038dee7.jpg?v=1571610973 Everyone in the building got together. Here’s 200 bucks for your violin. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150326 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150326_mounted_373eeda7-cee1-463c-9d88-060d46999805.jpg?v=1571610973 Sure it’s faded! You’ve been wearing it during daylight hours without a jacket on. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150327 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150327_mounted_c6de340b-49b5-4e2b-a4cd-76b291cec2de.jpg?v=1571610973 Sure you can have it for ten bucks, but wouldn’t you rather own a $200 painting? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150328 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150328_mounted_d7e52b82-0cbc-4b8b-a10e-5dfe5ba888a0.jpg?v=1571610973 How many guys d’you know with a solar-powered wristwatch? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150330 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150330_mounted_2667b67e-07da-4509-a433-724889003950.jpg?v=1571610973 I decided to come in today. The poolroom’s packed. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150331 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150331_mounted_6ca4ecd1-e959-4713-8353-37e66a446a20.jpg?v=1571610973 Is this your first blind date? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150401 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150401_mounted_7c73a134-9721-4ba0-b9ee-79c3f742a672.jpg?v=1571610973 And another thing! I’m getting sick of you being so agreeable all the time. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150402 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150402_mounted_63292a84-00d7-434a-9c2d-d73202dc63e8.jpg?v=1571610973 I’d ask for a doggie-bag but my doggie wouldn’t eat that if I paid him. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150403 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150403_mounted_3f6067ef-035c-406d-9583-824f72ff3301.jpg?v=1571610973 Can you put my arm in a sling for a couple of weeks so I can get out of doing the dishes? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150404 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150404_mounted_fa211919-aa5e-4585-8aeb-590e3bd4a6b9.jpg?v=1571610973 Don’t worry about my punctuation. I’ll be here at exactly nine o’clock every morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150406 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150406_mounted_a55202f5-412e-4dd7-a20d-1d1a7527f8dd.jpg?v=1571610973 Are you sure you’re comfortable? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150407 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150407_mounted_1768d7e3-5bfb-49a8-a50a-fb7dcc5a75f2.jpg?v=1571610973 Here, let me know if these work and I’ll give them a try myself. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150408 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150408_mounted_4ebe3383-cbc5-412c-a2f1-7b3887e3eb09.jpg?v=1571610973 Is it still raining? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150409 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150409_mounted_299677e9-1b8a-4cb3-a225-8ed4aa8718d8.jpg?v=1571610973 I don’t wanna be a juror! Can’t I be a witness? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150410 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150410_mounted_c44c17f9-1f9d-4058-8879-f757711f9907.jpg?v=1571610974 Just take a seat, son. You’re next. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150411 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150411_mounted_50f5e3d3-7266-483a-bdca-a036b7a82147.jpg?v=1571610974 You’ve got six wives waiting for you on the outside. Are you sure you want parole? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150413 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150413_mounted_5a27e57c-2730-4c05-8be8-900b7c60887b.jpg?v=1571610974 I guess we should have tried it on the rats first. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150414 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150414_mounted_f3563bda-347d-40cb-a63a-0e6b1e8ee8b9.jpg?v=1571610974 You’re the one guy we can trust in this cell for a couple of days ‘til we get those bars fixed. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150415 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150415_mounted_4f2d8f03-02a1-4824-a38d-177c69e38554.jpg?v=1571610974 Don’t play with Grandpa’s greasy hair just before suppertime. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150416 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150416_mounted_0290b654-6b95-44e5-9a10-bde6d4aada78.jpg?v=1571610974 Fifteen years up already? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150417 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150417_mounted_21013e77-5c0e-4351-b030-7505ee11707c.jpg?v=1571610974 Hermy, either we’re gonna get married or I guess I shouldn’t see you any more. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150418 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150418_mounted_dc24deb8-2dfa-488c-af86-1eaab11a1587.jpg?v=1571610974 F means ‘fantastic.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150420 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150420_mounted_27cde62a-4255-4c2c-9eb5-6511617319ce.jpg?v=1571610974 If I’ve got to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, what sort of fair trial is this gonna be? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150421 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150421_mounted_3254fba2-56f3-4b2e-affd-e21a1b147a52.jpg?v=1571610974 Mr. Henderson, he’s written another check! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150422 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150422_mounted_9ef87ee7-4a6e-4add-babd-0d5e7d2313c3.jpg?v=1571610974 Listen, there’s nothing wrong with being ambitious. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150423 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150423_mounted_7b81237e-45d5-4099-b92b-bd8e4eca3764.jpg?v=1571610974 If you don’t like the soup, just say so! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150424 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150424_mounted_8567c8d8-b20d-46f3-962c-481fe356d333.jpg?v=1571610974 They say opposites attract. There must be plenty of good-looking, intelligent girls around. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150425 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150425_mounted_3478d387-07ea-4b0d-8556-dba129cb87b9.jpg?v=1571610974 Herman's a man of rare gifts. In 25 years, I’ve had one bunch of flowers. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150427 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150427_mounted_e7a6eb7a-b7a1-4a6e-833a-8d4686e772a1.jpg?v=1571610974 The sink’s backed up! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150428 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150428_mounted_821feb43-c5df-4644-ba09-de652ea2600d.jpg?v=1571610974 The way we treat a headache here is to divert your attention to something else. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150429 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150429_mounted_750ed574-d3b0-4c46-907e-eb99aa4e7897.jpg?v=1571610974 The bank will lend you the money, but it’s up to you to prove to us that you don’t really need it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150430 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150430_mounted_f3a8cbd5-977c-4ca7-a19e-e23fbfac3ec5.jpg?v=1571610974 Don’t look so miserable. Maybe the first seven horses will be disqualified. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150501 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150501_mounted_e23ce3c4-399b-4bd3-840f-eb5dc80c1663.jpg?v=1571610974 Well, when he comes back from lunch, tell him his war souvenir is making clicking noises. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150502 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150502_mounted_7bd12ecd-a454-47cb-8e03-cf05d7dda235.jpg?v=1571610974 Will you get outa here with that romantic junk! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150504 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150504_mounted_387e017b-23a2-475b-becd-df3a36fe66e2.jpg?v=1571610974 This watch you bought me is a great conversation piece. I have to ask everybody the time! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150505 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150505_mounted_8235eb43-b5c9-430e-aac0-365ce026b1ae.jpg?v=1571610974 I’m NOT going camping. If you wanna get back to nature, take the bug screen out of the window for half an hour. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150506 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150506_mounted_99464ffe-7ba2-4317-9f75-5e0f4e5482cd.jpg?v=1571610975 If you don’t learn a trade, how are you going to know what kind of work you’re out of? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150507 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150507_mounted_497e2455-5abd-4978-9e22-429c8cd2ee5f.jpg?v=1571610975 Boy, Harry, you sure look different without your wallet! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150508 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150508_mounted_8a8767a2-1791-4b86-92f3-1c1ff989ecdf.jpg?v=1571610975 Next time you go to the store, get some proper paper napkins. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150509 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150509_mounted_44cd53ac-8c45-4f8c-a72f-786bf2c3832f.jpg?v=1571610975 The reason meat is expensive is because no one ever argues with a guy holding one of these. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150511 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150511_mounted_9f366d5f-8c0f-42eb-a1bb-ef3e249505b9.jpg?v=1571610975 He’s got your hair! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150512 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150512_mounted_63df700d-468b-47e2-9c63-4f6a70e4e788.jpg?v=1571610975 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150513 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150513_mounted_859515e8-6fb8-4af3-85e4-849ae259c0f3.jpg?v=1571610975 I told you to use my insect spray. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150514 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150514_mounted_f4bbdbc3-7267-4659-bb6d-d2c9adcc6643.jpg?v=1571610975 Did she tell you I got a job down at the fish market? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150515 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150515_mounted_26454ce4-b166-4e8f-8a76-e3539754835d.jpg?v=1571610975 It’s called ‘Pigeons Beware.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150516 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150516_mounted_f0fa0e45-c2ec-40a2-a87f-98f1fbfb57f5.jpg?v=1571610975 You can’t be expected to get it right the first time! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150518 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150518_mounted_8f49a5ba-2bea-4a27-8a11-b80d5969f4b8.jpg?v=1571610975 Why didn’t you tell me your ex-boyfriend was the guy who cuts my hair? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150519 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150519_mounted_4d5983bf-ce44-4438-9f7e-d9fa62fb399b.jpg?v=1571610975 Hey, Harry! Look at this guy’s wife. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150520 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150520_mounted_8cb29f71-73a2-41f2-b895-7ebd4b80d6b1.jpg?v=1571610975 Well someone phoned in an order for five pounds of peanuts. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150521 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150521_mounted_14e1a132-ca33-4190-8494-1918ba302349.jpg?v=1571610975 I hope you used warm water. I don’t want to listen to those things chattering all night. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150522 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150522_mounted_2b2546c5-8c50-423b-89d8-a5e1910a5afc.jpg?v=1571610975 I see you finally sewed on my button. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150523 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150523_mounted_c78e4e86-b3ff-4007-ae83-603615b13c59.jpg?v=1571610975 Don’t do that while I’m eating! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150525 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150525_mounted_59ff7d4e-e7b7-4a4d-82a7-902260624f01.jpg?v=1571610975 How does it feel to take some little kid’s last fifteen cents in the whole world? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150526 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150526_mounted_f418fa74-c5e0-4660-b108-12ff79001fa7.jpg?v=1571610975 Look what she did to my candy bar! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150527 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150527_mounted_c9a038ce-1525-4c77-911b-9ae997a02a6f.jpg?v=1571610975 Grandpa, how do you change channels on this set? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150528 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150528_mounted_37a20d5f-1d5b-4360-89aa-2814530c2eb1.jpg?v=1571610975 Did you say this pizza gave you indigestion? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150529 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150529_mounted_48f8d4f0-bf97-4c6f-87b6-47f7a66c2280.jpg?v=1571610975 How sweet! A birthday card mailed in 1996! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150530 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150530_mounted_9ce94077-1a0b-4efd-b86d-d9dc632d5a40.jpg?v=1571610975 Do you think the current economic policies will do anything to ease the unemployment situation? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150601 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150601_mounted_a3fc6139-9bee-45dd-be6f-e0750f637cb9.jpg?v=1571610975 Four months, eight days, five hours and twenty minutes. Four months, eight days, five hours and nineteen minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150602 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150602_mounted_aa921b35-f5aa-4559-8051-2a66ff94095e.jpg?v=1571610975 I’m sure he’ll be sorry he missed you. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150603 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150603_mounted_0af1bc7b-ecc0-4487-831c-4de49da7a739.jpg?v=1571610975 Hospital regulations. You gotta wear the straps while I read the bill. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150604 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150604_mounted_2283cf4a-be5c-4c82-b123-06f1af699ad3.jpg?v=1571610975 How can I be overqualified? I left school when I was eight! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150605 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150605_mounted_c2a0463b-188a-4297-b395-ac41306c81f6.jpg?v=1571610975 I told them they could watch ’til theirs was fixed. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150606 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150606_mounted_5b79a718-0e1a-4699-af3a-2bd0d8622299.jpg?v=1571610976 You may as well know they made me ‘Assistant Floor Manager’ today. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150608 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150608_mounted_d24e6b7b-8664-48f6-97b3-0e3f3d75cb09.jpg?v=1571610976 You haven’t got any experience as an astronaut or movie actor. What’s your third choice? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150609 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150609_mounted_9aebeae6-5bb8-44d9-831e-29c7a617f5d4.jpg?v=1571610976 Butcher Harris is doing this one tomorrow morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150610 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150610_mounted_5ad3d4f3-815a-44fe-a015-9e928206596b.jpg?v=1571610976 You’ll get a hot-dog when you go home and put on a jacket and tie. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150611 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150611_mounted_727ecda0-532a-4481-a6a1-dfdb86e80911.jpg?v=1571610976 My sister just gave me two dollars not to tell you something. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150612 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150612_mounted_ec612fea-4504-46b5-9cc2-9bbab06f8ea6.jpg?v=1571610976 I haven’t got those in a twelve but I can let you have a couple of pair of size sixes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150613 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150613_mounted_750ed671-5140-42c5-8fc2-881b41a80c46.jpg?v=1571610976 He told me to throw it as hard as I could. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150615 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150615_mounted_894e1f93-ea22-4a03-ad79-139d480a29df.jpg?v=1571610976 As most of you know, our company treasurer won’t be with us for the next fifteen annual meetings. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150616 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150616_mounted_2db9d6a2-ded8-45e5-8ac2-c52034340763.jpg?v=1571610976 So I said to her, ‘how about giving me something to remember you by?’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150617 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150617_mounted_c641e1bf-90ae-4d52-81c9-5aed5107c31d.jpg?v=1571610976 I’m sorry. I thought you were my husband. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150618 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150618_mounted_6f6876ad-7643-46ab-b998-3c623dec1664.jpg?v=1571610976 I phoned the doctor. You’re supposed to get plenty of fluids. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150619 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150619_mounted_7e76a8aa-49e5-4228-a346-5b5bc5131107.jpg?v=1571610976 I wish you hadn’t worn that tie. It doesn’t go with your jacket. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150620 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150620_mounted_f93e5ca6-6203-4411-b65c-554e990feccb.jpg?v=1571610976 I’m sure you’ll agree, we don’t want an epidemic. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150622 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150622_mounted_7eca6b9d-a8e0-41ea-9232-5bc799c19b8e.jpg?v=1571610976 It’s okay! I found the keys. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150623 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150623_mounted_4bcf5979-36a3-47e5-b6ed-09cb70590366.jpg?v=1571610976 We can’t elope. I haven’t got a suitcase. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150624 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150624_mounted_f27e5a64-6dde-4e56-ac58-94728c08ba3b.jpg?v=1571610976 Okay, I’m coming out now. Close your eyes! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150625 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150625_mounted_0e3c852e-b1bf-4e63-b829-8d088726e23a.jpg?v=1571610976 Ma! I just met this new guy. He’s not good-looking or anything but he’s an accountant. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150626 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150626_mounted_7d7cd6ab-f1aa-48a1-a226-2f97068e3530.jpg?v=1571610976 You the guy who called a plumber? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150627 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150627_mounted_2503fcf9-ec50-40f8-af5e-d1e528bee739.jpg?v=1571610976 That bit about ‘love, honor and obey.’ Is that me or her? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150629 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150629_mounted_f8d18022-75e4-4a90-89b7-339e15831f1f.jpg?v=1571610976 Can you believe this? We’ve gotta go back all the way to 1985. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150630 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150630_mounted_d877bcad-f7b4-4274-a014-f41822eeb7ce.jpg?v=1571610976 How come every time we have company, I get stuck with this chair? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150701 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150701_mounted_27266d79-e038-46bb-aee3-a43aad6b817d.jpg?v=1571610976 I was just about to ask you how you liked your new glasses! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150702 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150702_mounted_b877889b-0d51-4444-bf11-aef67c3649ef.jpg?v=1571610976 I haven’t understood one word you said. Come back when your face gets better. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150703 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150703_mounted_4cff8b8a-1960-470c-ac1c-9ee3ed5c9b26.jpg?v=1571610976 If you only want to spend twenty dollars, I’d recommend two hamburgers and a six-dollar tip. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150704 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150704_mounted_28936e02-409e-4b1b-bed0-143dd160d61d.jpg?v=1571610976 Hey Tex. Come and settle an argument. Is this arrow Apache or Sioux? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150706 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150706_mounted_dba68de4-1ddf-4d54-9be9-7a393f5a205e.jpg?v=1571610976 Breakfast in bed, your majesty. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150707 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150707_mounted_3e3b4431-0757-4710-8c81-1ad5c6ece4c6.jpg?v=1571610977 Hey Pop! Your hearing aid has slipped down the leg of your pants! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150708 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150708_mounted_008d41cf-3ea6-471e-9e47-cc85f6668da9.jpg?v=1571610977 If you’re coming ashore buddy, I wanna see your passport. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150709 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150709_mounted_a11deced-da9e-4078-9c5f-5c53cac890f1.jpg?v=1571610977 Maturity is a feeling that comes over you when you look back on your life and realize you were wrong on just about everything. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150710 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150710_mounted_17c628b9-093f-48a5-b666-37bebbe6d787.jpg?v=1571610977 What exactly is ‘new improved lettuce’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150711 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150711_mounted_d42b7b35-66ba-4ec4-9401-cda6f6e34c07.jpg?v=1571610977 I take it you didn’t get the promotion. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150713 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150713_mounted_e1766903-ec87-4533-afde-6260ed1be91e.jpg?v=1571610977 Don’t move while I’m gone. You’ll spill my drink. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150714 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150714_mounted_29eaa87b-21a2-4c0e-804a-266ab79b639c.jpg?v=1571610977 D’you realize we’ve been married three whole weeks, and neither of us has even mentioned the word ‘divorce’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150715 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150715_mounted_fe9a989c-04cf-497d-87c7-56882e2a2a39.jpg?v=1571610977 You’re not supposed to just pour the stew into a lunch pail. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150716 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150716_mounted_6e336f1f-a280-4437-9130-f134a13f8009.jpg?v=1571610977 You got nothing to smile about. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150717 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150717_mounted_dcb93d73-11f4-4551-93df-ed8c8d721940.jpg?v=1571610977 Grannie, your horoscope says be prepared for a whirlwind romance! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150718 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150718_mounted_09f35f73-08c2-40ac-a251-abf8e7ad6223.jpg?v=1571610977 I’ve had a hard day, so don’t make any smart remarks while I’m carrying a cream pie. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150720 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150720_mounted_713bdd21-2262-4e69-b971-5a5fd052c1e9.jpg?v=1571610977 I wish you’d let me know you were coming in here. I had to throw away a perfectly good frozen dinner. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150721 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150721_mounted_345b815a-1a58-40b6-8831-e56932c188cf.jpg?v=1571610977 Can’t you get on with your work without watching me all the time? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150722 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150722_mounted_2c7bc6f5-0a88-4293-9edc-b098e8535ae8.jpg?v=1571610977 I see your mother’s been here again. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150723 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150723_mounted_52d2aecd-21a3-460b-8d61-50479f6398c6.jpg?v=1571610977 I’ll give you something for gas. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150724 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150724_mounted_ea280118-d60d-479a-95bc-268a65f1db79.jpg?v=1571610977 I see you’ve fixed the drip! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150725 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150725_mounted_1ed8e37d-8337-4de0-bbb9-e979ed52a1bb.jpg?v=1571610977 Is that the way you normally stand? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150727 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150727_mounted_fc7eb5d0-c29c-4ab6-9aa9-d62c5b3974fb.jpg?v=1571610977 Here yer go, ‘Instant Leftovers.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150728 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150728_mounted_155242fa-fcf7-49fb-9765-fcba0826db77.jpg?v=1571610977 I thought TV was supposed to make you violent! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150729 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150729_mounted_3cfe5a2c-b30f-4b33-a5fb-3a227c3a4e7a.jpg?v=1571610977 You said you didn’t mind tea or coffee so I gave you half and half. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150730 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150730_mounted_3b16ceb5-7b58-4619-abdb-f467a5424d8d.jpg?v=1571610977 I’m not the world’s greatest cook but I think you’ll enjoy my cornflakes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150731 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150731_mounted_c2d48081-50b6-444a-b854-31d57fb739d8.jpg?v=1571610977 He left everything to the one woman who sustained him throughout his later years; Angelina Jolie. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150801 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150801_mounted_482b46c0-4a3a-4c55-b2bc-cf6a0b817238.jpg?v=1571610977 If you get up a little earlier, you’d have more time to shave! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150803 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150803_mounted_c340b9eb-a62f-47f7-a1c0-e6601ad139b2.jpg?v=1571610977 Guess what Mike does for a living! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150804 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150804_mounted_f3aac109-a969-47e4-ab2d-c35dcc1cc1a0.jpg?v=1571610977 No, Doc. I'm not a cypborg. I had a phone in my back pocket. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150805 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150805_mounted_a0ad9497-fcf1-4eed-8d87-a98c4bf5c38c.jpg?v=1571610977 You’ve got what we call ‘heavy blood.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150806 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150806_mounted_dc311689-2075-4ae1-9aed-6fe1c81b5ea8.jpg?v=1571610977 I told him he could have your ‘leftovers.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150807 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150807_mounted_a46c8d43-ad9b-42f8-92a3-8720822c4cf5.jpg?v=1571610978 Oh goody! You found my comb. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150808 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150808_mounted_153b81b3-2163-4f6e-a1a8-a9ac149d4432.jpg?v=1571610978 I know your landlord depends on the rent but you still can’t list him as a dependent. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150810 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150810_mounted_efb0d9b5-47ff-4006-94eb-954c7b070916.jpg?v=1571610978 Time out… SUPPER! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150811 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150811_mounted_77ee27a4-d0d5-46e3-b223-d0b783eafaf5.jpg?v=1571610978 You’re not allowed to be a grandfather anymore; you’re a ‘grandperson.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150812 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150812_mounted_b8d3cfe5-cac4-4337-a1af-03da5f339907.jpg?v=1571610978 I know the same thing happened last year. I’m ‘accident prone.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150813 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150813_mounted_dd63dfb7-f2c5-49e0-92b0-c5aa6799d1ca.jpg?v=1571610978 Okay, just once more then it’s bedtime. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150814 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150814_mounted_efb6d950-8822-4600-b5e3-882e5f21c978.jpg?v=1571610978 I spilt the stupid plant food. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150815 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150815_mounted_2480340c-a53e-4180-8ef2-b2ee314e49a9.jpg?v=1571610978 The Doctor can’t see you 'till Friday. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150817 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150817_mounted_6d5a6092-e700-43da-8f97-774c95fe3503.jpg?v=1571610978 I’m well aware it’s only a plastic sword. Don’t interfere! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150818 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150818_mounted_2fa2ba27-6a09-4c3f-8df0-894a2acdbdc6.jpg?v=1571610978 Hey Mom. I got that job. Get over here quick and show me what to do. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150819 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150819_mounted_404fdb00-3421-48b9-9e8b-c6b299f0b71e.jpg?v=1571610978 I had to dig it all by hand. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150820 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150820_mounted_454ea427-08dd-49a0-ba21-db19c4bb8cbc.jpg?v=1571610978 Hey lady! If you keep your rollers lined up with the screen, I’ll be able to watch the movie. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150821 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150821_mounted_2a17a03d-3a54-45d3-9890-89a88d688f85.jpg?v=1571610979 It’s baked turkey. The feathers got a bit black. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150822 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150822_mounted_f629f8fb-dccb-4c9a-8c49-259257b5b2ac.jpg?v=1571610979 I’m not sneering at your qualifications. I just wasn’t aware you could get a B.A. for ‘flower arrangement'. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150824 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150824_mounted_7128f7cc-a8f2-460c-9ec5-50d497c8839f.jpg?v=1571610979 I’ll have to open you up again: That watch has great sentimental value. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150825 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150825_mounted_991a2cb0-5e52-47e5-bc18-24bfbbf3b19f.jpg?v=1571610979 I’m just showing these guys around the place. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150826 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150826_mounted_f017895f-ca57-40ab-a307-220acf920fe0.jpg?v=1571610979 I asked that Doctor over there what he would take to cure a stomach upset and he said about $85. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150827 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150827_mounted_95911a0a-6dd5-4f0a-b001-fd20d1de7e3c.jpg?v=1571610979 Don’t ask me ‘what for’ you idiot! Just hang around here and whistle at the customers when they leave. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150828 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150828_mounted_a324e026-a1f2-40d5-ac49-763f32f8b5e7.jpg?v=1571610979 If I’m innocent ‘til proven guilty, why can’t I buzz off to Australia and you let me know how things turn out? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150829 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150829_mounted_bd0748ff-60f1-4775-af06-c90fd1a425ee.jpg?v=1571610979 How DARE you shout at me like that in front of the plants. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150831 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150831_mounted_7333a796-72a1-41cb-9697-276d2db74cea.jpg?v=1571610979 I guess I can borrow a magnifying glass to show it to the girls at work. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150901 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150901_mounted_38583edb-9816-47a9-85ac-719ab66bd0b7.jpg?v=1571610979 You only want me to get a haircut because you’re jealous. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150902 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150902_mounted_55cb319e-1aca-417c-8f8c-6559f13ace02.jpg?v=1571610979 Well, the window’s open. I hope you’re satisfied. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150903 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150903_mounted_ab7ef1e6-f97f-490e-8a4b-32aae1fa1cd2.jpg?v=1571610979 Which floor? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150904 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150904_mounted_c42718ab-e2c8-4bcd-af98-8d7f3573fb66.jpg?v=1571610979 Would you believe it? I’ve been all over town trying to get you some flowers. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150905 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150905_mounted_75a57722-6920-497c-8ba0-3098e2a436e7.jpg?v=1571610979 Every time we go out anywhere, you always find something to complain about. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150907 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150907_mounted_0b3b48b1-d4ad-4654-98db-7a760b49f904.jpg?v=1571610979 Look at the fabulous tie I got you while I was buying this silly old coat. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150908 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150908_mounted_74b34895-7e73-4dd5-8370-1aef273f60ad.jpg?v=1571610979 It’s just a little something to celebrate your 500th lesson. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150909 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150909_mounted_7b9f35a8-ad2b-4258-9ba3-1489318b1941.jpg?v=1571610979 That's weird. Your heart stopped. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150910 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150910_mounted_49f814a3-c3d5-4919-b0bd-f180d59697dd.jpg?v=1571610979 I know I’m taking a long time but I’m trying to fry you an egg and the shell keeps breaking. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150911 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150911_mounted_35f7a563-ba66-400d-8a3f-a77551ed205b.jpg?v=1571610979 Why did your nurse want to know my ‘next-of-kin’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150912 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150912_mounted_29c771c7-22cb-4b10-a10a-93a6f1ca53c4.jpg?v=1571610979 If the smoke detector fails and your house burns down, we replace the unit free of charge. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150914 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150914_mounted_6f5a0f5f-04c8-4c73-9138-c72094f31a12.jpg?v=1571610979 The front row is yours. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150915 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150915_mounted_ea3485f2-2bfb-4d7f-b748-a466f250144b.jpg?v=1571610979 You the guy who ordered the ‘Breakfast Special’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150916 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150916_mounted_36eb67b7-17da-42e5-9985-f910a41194b9.jpg?v=1571610979 Okay, now shift your weight onto the left leg during the follow-through. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150917 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150917_mounted_a5ad025f-aeca-4194-a139-c7f0e53bf8d8.jpg?v=1571610979 Is that your final answer? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150918 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150918_mounted_63325c5b-c9f8-4a13-8e8d-8a1341862d5d.jpg?v=1571610979 The Museum said if it's not back in one hour, you're in big trouble." https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150919 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150919_mounted_b090e4de-afed-4a10-9cd0-e804d2951f35.jpg?v=1571610980 I hope I’m getting my own room. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150921 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150921_mounted_c45c3631-8176-41c0-9e31-64cdbf850d77.jpg?v=1571610980 Whatdya mean I should have told you? I told you weeks ago! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150922 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150922_mounted_414bc0b5-18e6-4ed8-b76f-ca934606158d.jpg?v=1571610980 I think it needs some protein to give it more ’body.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150923 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150923_mounted_9daffd4f-1367-469c-a928-c7c473928848.jpg?v=1571610980 You wouldn’t let me have a dog… You wouldn’t let me have a cat… https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150924 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150924_mounted_46978f2e-77a2-4e60-8657-e0edecaf1f6d.jpg?v=1571610980 I can only say I’ll let you know. I have another 400 applicants to see. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150925 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150925_mounted_43233c05-e58a-4529-b9ff-326372ecc901.jpg?v=1571610980 Where’s your fork? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150926 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150926_mounted_de0a3d83-afa0-4d89-9b87-9319b8c0c468.jpg?v=1571610980 If you don’t believe men came from monkeys, go and take a good look at your father. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150928 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150928_mounted_0c46efc8-50b3-4ca7-b7b7-6007c7821189.jpg?v=1571610980 Did you make a computer date with someone named Yvonne? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150929 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150929_mounted_d4011c1f-0f09-49ff-a77d-3dc190890bb4.jpg?v=1571610980 How come I never hear you say ‘please’ and ‘thank-you’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm150930 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm150930_mounted_193c86d7-6b2c-494a-b7dd-55d7a71ea781.jpg?v=1571610980 Are you sure he told you to stick a barometer in my mouth? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151001 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151001_mounted_e3611ec2-4b60-443d-8087-c0127d25d00e.jpg?v=1571610980 I coulda sold a million albums by now if you hadn’t made me take singing lessons. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151002 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151002_mounted_36cb9024-ab25-4c7e-aec9-00b0742c0e81.jpg?v=1571610980 He’ll be okay. He overdosed on sunflower seeds. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151003 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151003_mounted_f5c8cbf3-813c-4182-856b-2f81e844be9b.jpg?v=1571610980 Yeah, well I guess if the Doc says to stay in bed for the rest of the day, I’d better stay. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151005 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151005_mounted_67213b58-5a0b-47d0-90d3-c605e437bb38.jpg?v=1571610980 Next time your car won’t start, try calling a mechanic. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151006 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151006_mounted_73de7907-d6b2-495a-aec3-d9f2364fd4f0.jpg?v=1571610980 For the money I’m paying, I hope you’re painting the real me. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151007 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151007_mounted_672f9ced-11c9-407d-9df4-6473952e2113.jpg?v=1571610980 How can I throw in the towel before the bell for round one? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151008 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151008_mounted_7ab55145-22ed-432b-94c0-f25845a17aa7.jpg?v=1571610980 Been here long, Pop? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151009 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151009_mounted_3fd0f06b-c6e0-4abc-b37d-e152c6f5dd00.jpg?v=1571610980 What? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151010 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151010_mounted_380cc7c4-4158-47b2-a0e5-b416f4016489.jpg?v=1571610980 Now you’re in Grade 4, Daddy’s not going to be able to help you with your homework anymore. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151012 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151012_mounted_c68a5803-2870-4532-aed1-1c5761abd892.jpg?v=1571610980 The Doctor says he’ll see the gentleman with the Ebola virus first. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151013 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151013_mounted_d8fea89f-aaa8-4170-854e-daccdd4ce439.jpg?v=1571610980 Not another war movie! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151014 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151014_mounted_b1bd3a61-f803-4af8-bda0-8222baf7ac5e.jpg?v=1571610980 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151015 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151015_mounted_bc64e99e-04d9-49c2-b488-beaaad6447ed.jpg?v=1571610980 You gotta stop throwing food at Daddy. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151016 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151016_mounted_7ccae6a8-5baa-4c78-8db8-c80fec3e8cbb.jpg?v=1571610980 These fireplace logs are just pieces of a tree. Haven’t you got any of the real plastic ones? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151017 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151017_mounted_7df1d917-e31d-415b-bd71-4693cf0108a3.jpg?v=1571610980 Where do I put my mouth? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151019 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151019_mounted_366e2d95-fe6f-4d60-908d-b6f2546aa66a.jpg?v=1571610980 If I can’t afford to buy a really expensive birthday gift, I don’t buy anything at all. So I didn’t buy you anything. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151020 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151020_mounted_2ed784f0-3602-4a52-8520-8b9029a45bee.jpg?v=1571610980 Doc. it’s a marvelous idea! You fill ‘em up with flu vaccine and put them on all the chairs in your waiting room. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151021 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151021_mounted_5d7d464d-359c-47ce-a5ee-18fdc61f1af3.jpg?v=1571610981 What are you taking? We’re only going to the zoo. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151022 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151022_mounted_ed4e6194-f408-45f6-baa8-b88c5bf89a1d.jpg?v=1571610981 I know you take a shower almost every day. You almost took one Monday, you almost took one Tuesday… https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151023 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151023_mounted_16227cf8-098a-4b70-a053-7a91a1d5ca5b.jpg?v=1571610981 There you go! I forged your signature. You’re in the Marines. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151024 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151024_mounted_ecf60118-b1b1-4cb8-a8e7-d8b40ea32f36.jpg?v=1571610981 Want me to check your horoscope? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151026 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151026_mounted_177bc694-f0bc-432e-84de-493e0023fcca.jpg?v=1571610981 I admit it looks horrible but it’s still not grounds for divorce. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151027 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151027_mounted_ff161bee-62fb-4cd5-82a8-d1bfd7980e5f.jpg?v=1571610981 Got any wide-bottom shirts? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151028 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151028_mounted_2b82e3c6-bdc5-465e-b8c9-ddacb717f03b.jpg?v=1571610981 Wake up! He's playing doctor and wants to saw off your leg. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151029 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151029_mounted_7de8c176-a161-4ecd-ab16-b67f8f67c262.jpg?v=1571610981 I hope all that screaming is not from the one I’m getting. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151030 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151030_mounted_9850311a-4a6a-4ff8-aeaf-8782ed42079b.jpg?v=1571610981 This fortune cookie says, ‘Very sorry, your overcoat stolen.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151031 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151031_mounted_e7c97006-68b4-4083-bc75-aa2bb41580c4.jpg?v=1571610981 Have we been married 50 years, 60 years or 70 years? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151102 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151102_mounted_42439ded-1879-449d-accd-a492710344d9.jpg?v=1571610981 You can wait for him if you like. He’s doing six months for ‘embezzlement.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151103 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151103_mounted_45012d09-2d59-4604-9a50-8d6f4cc8dffa.jpg?v=1571610981 That’s the first time I’ve seen your mother leave the table without a second helping. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151104 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151104_mounted_20b999ea-add0-479a-9de9-72c501c262b7.jpg?v=1571610981 Mommy, Herman said he’d love you to come for the weekend. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151105 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151105_mounted_61534023-3f4e-4405-add0-00e3c192a814.jpg?v=1571610981 You one of those speed readers? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151106 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151106_mounted_d9d57148-c8c4-418e-abb4-60836f31c14b.jpg?v=1571610981 How come my photo’s got all these little holes in it? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151107 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151107_mounted_4005f43d-f0e6-4fbd-a757-fa148d3b0758.jpg?v=1571610981 Quit griping! D’you want your windows washed or not? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151109 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151109_mounted_2a24275e-a2aa-480e-a178-9f99e32ca335.jpg?v=1571610981 What’s the matter with you! Can’t you save that for during the commercials? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151110 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151110_mounted_597cfef8-6787-4613-ab92-252ec956b4b1.jpg?v=1571610981 Who do you think’s gonna drink that? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151111 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151111_mounted_83b77f29-8ebd-4cb7-b241-fa79c43fc8b4.jpg?v=1571610981 I claim this planet in the name of Bluggrovia. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151112 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151112_mounted_fb373d70-635a-40e6-b48c-c294414302ea.jpg?v=1571610981 Take one of these with water half-an-hour before you wake up every morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151113 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151113_mounted_2f0aefbe-06c8-4c00-88ed-5e93fdee24a6.jpg?v=1571610981 Take that back and cook it! It’s already eaten half the french fries. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151114 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151114_mounted_1a57be7b-665f-4719-86ee-8374316afb62.jpg?v=1571610981 Boy! Did you see that ugly kid? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151116 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151116_mounted_9cfcfbdf-fac5-45aa-9087-faaa3742a6ec.jpg?v=1571610981 Sure, I’ll have a glass of milk. Make it a ‘double.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151117 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151117_mounted_e395b424-c7ba-4b7c-95cf-3d54dee5e90b.jpg?v=1571610981 Take your time; just pick out the man who told you he was an ‘out-of-work jockey’! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151118 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151118_mounted_d25e5e4f-029d-4e04-b15e-f60bc6795581.jpg?v=1571610981 Is the guy in the green jacket the one who complained about the baked potatoes? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151119 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151119_mounted_9cb5df64-1362-403e-9ed1-357d7fd76a9a.jpg?v=1571610981 In describing your ‘general physical appearance,’ I’ll just say you’re looking for a girl with a good sense of humour. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151120 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151120_mounted_9da1f878-f798-4440-b1a6-4a431a3836fa.jpg?v=1571610981 When you’ve got a minute, I’ll have a box of parrot food. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151121 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151121_mounted_09cf98e7-c41c-4267-a6a3-16945552d0ee.jpg?v=1571610982 This was in the garbage compacter. It’s either my hair-piece or the cat. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151123 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151123_mounted_3f724b06-6050-4732-b357-a0e0393e3863.jpg?v=1571610982 Six times six is 54! Don’t they teach you anything at that school? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151124 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151124_mounted_2985f896-d68f-4244-8cf1-05653353647b.jpg?v=1571610982 It’s a new game called ‘Prize Fight.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151125 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151125_mounted_5588eb51-2469-46e1-90b1-0a5c45c07da9.jpg?v=1571610982 I’ve never heard of Mantovani. You sure you don’t mean ‘Badass Divas"? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151126 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151126_mounted_23c82f4d-05b7-416d-8b6b-fae264c56eb4.jpg?v=1571610982 What’s to understand? You convince your mother you don’t need your teeth fixed and I give you $50. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151127 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151127_mounted_928ee920-298c-4325-bbe6-ecdcd7232e47.jpg?v=1571610982 How do you plead to the charge of speeding? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151128 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151128_mounted_f3f8c8df-aa34-4255-b75c-782f4a689304.jpg?v=1571610982 If you’d buy me a dishwasher, you’d have more time to help out around here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151130 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151130_mounted_abd8981b-87ce-489d-a1f2-7cc822ea0a7b.jpg?v=1571610982 I know it’s only our first date, but I’ve got this crazy feeling that we were made for each other. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151201 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151201_mounted_e9de98c3-e544-4683-920c-e6a7d8fdd4bd.jpg?v=1571610982 Well, at least we know why you were a cook in the navy! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151202 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151202_mounted_bc1eb7ba-e047-4cac-9163-07b228027ed6.jpg?v=1571610982 Sorry about your window, I’m practicing for the Olympics. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151203 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151203_mounted_4cfc2b17-3ea9-4a7a-878b-800c2d12d83d.jpg?v=1571610982 There’s not much here. The only description he can give us is red socks, brown shoes with black laces. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151204 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151204_mounted_0dad2112-d902-41dc-bc4a-ea0f216e7161.jpg?v=1571610982 Herman, here’s your ax back. Now can I borrow your chain saw? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151205 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151205_mounted_b8e65875-3026-4562-936c-ff525a3f2039.jpg?v=1571610982 I’ve unclogged the upstairs bath. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151207 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151207_mounted_370f3770-8d09-466f-9804-47ce6117be6f.jpg?v=1571610982 Keep out! Keep out! K-E-E-P O-U-T. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151208 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151208_mounted_7a85e43f-c813-44fc-8e03-1bbadff23db7.jpg?v=1571610982 As you can see, the Genius fixed my washer. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151209 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151209_mounted_12b8d4fd-dbb7-4538-8df0-724d45064965.jpg?v=1571610982 Of course it’s dangerous. I didn’t get to be a general without taking chances. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151210 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151210_mounted_fced6253-2928-45bd-b468-93568c9ff3e1.jpg?v=1571610982 Of course your operation is ‘absolutely necessary.’ Without it I don’t get a summer vacation. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151211 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151211_mounted_9c0e9e94-dfa7-4006-baaa-3c8a42f6a189.jpg?v=1571610982 You’ll need a lighter shade with that tie. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151212 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151212_mounted_367f82a2-c1d0-48d8-a5c7-1509c14cf249.jpg?v=1571610982 If you’re gonna buy a hairpiece, buy one! Don’t keep drawing all over the mirrors. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151214 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151214_mounted_56ca96dd-5219-4f72-86b0-66bb2284e5d9.jpg?v=1571610982 Listen, if you buy the jacket, we’ll burn the one you’re wearing free of charge. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151215 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151215_mounted_e96ded31-2987-4680-ab1d-0318f3dd0a67.jpg?v=1571610982 They say you get what you pay for: It cost me $4 to get marrried. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151216 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151216_mounted_737d316a-678e-441a-9b10-65e397e4b6e7.jpg?v=1571610983 Mr. Kelly, that man’s here about the job. He doesn’t look too bright. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151217 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151217_mounted_af46d405-8827-4572-9416-53750c13b799.jpg?v=1571610983 You’ll get used to it. A fireman lives upstairs. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151218 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151218_mounted_aa648520-b4c2-40d5-b34b-538abaf596ff.jpg?v=1571610983 I’ll take over, Wilson. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151219 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151219_mounted_f680454d-5fbf-4274-86ab-4fda67a19823.jpg?v=1571610983 I know you’ve been late for work twice this week. I still think it’s stupid to sleep in the car! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151221 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151221_mounted_bcdbefa6-b19e-40ee-8b55-e1a6c34ab95a.jpg?v=1571610983 How was Africa? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151222 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151222_mounted_3a2dfd7c-a205-4caa-b868-31d93e8f0c97.jpg?v=1571610983 No, you can’t wear it to school. Put it back on the wall. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151223 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151223_mounted_0fe2af4d-4135-4e72-9686-11c943466b5f.jpg?v=1571610983 You’d better not bring my brother anything! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151224 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151224_mounted_4e789f0e-d1a9-415d-8296-53c2b66a2a18.jpg?v=1571610983 We don’t need to buy a turkey. I’ve still got last year’s leftovers. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151225 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151225_mounted_19734027-c653-4f76-9582-913c794956ca.jpg?v=1571610983 Just stay under there and give everybody else a happy Christmas. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151226 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151226_mounted_89f98bb5-545a-4275-8f7a-b100e44c8ad0.jpg?v=1571610983 I am grateful! But I distinctly remember asking for a cheese sandwich. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151228 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151228_mounted_67ef122c-97a8-4517-a606-2fd25b4f6be1.jpg?v=1571610983 Mom, why don’t you get a divorce and marry someone with more money? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151229 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151229_mounted_ab8be4b5-c880-4f99-93af-1ad78cea7d31.jpg?v=1571610983 I can get a court order to stop you from teaching her to cook. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151230 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151230_mounted_ed88ffc9-17ff-4d15-9faf-2958a94d1aca.jpg?v=1571610983 I know you want to play Hamlet, but for this one television commercial you’re a stick of celery. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm151231 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm151231_mounted_90cf3265-6558-4746-af60-7b95165bcb2c.jpg?v=1571610983 We implant this behind your left ear and you won’t even know it’s there. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160101 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160101_mounted_1b6006e9-1d26-4ea2-b24f-2d2a2a3a5693.jpg?v=1571610983 What made you give up the ‘fight game’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160102 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160102_mounted_e13e656a-69e4-4040-a96e-b7bdb997d797.jpg?v=1571610983 The bottom’s dropped out of the market. I’ve lost 18 bucks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160104 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160104_mounted_b2a1cecf-1091-41fb-a816-87941bce4eda.jpg?v=1571610983 You told me to use my initiative if I needed money, so I sold your car. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160105 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160105_mounted_f025b73d-d9eb-44c7-a806-3eb2d5a58826.jpg?v=1571610983 Try again, sir; that was my foot. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160106 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160106_mounted_05d7a980-d566-482e-979a-ae1b4ab75e12.jpg?v=1571610983 It’s been postponed. He’s got a headache. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160107 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160107_mounted_f2ab2d2b-bbd1-4482-aad0-21bc72bab299.jpg?v=1571610983 I wouldn’t know a ‘home-run’ if I saw one. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160108 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160108_mounted_61f2a7f6-5d1c-4156-b571-d6284e5ae469.jpg?v=1571610983 They wouldn’t let people stand here if it was dangerous. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160109 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160109_mounted_f045c519-d2b9-48ba-83c3-ef5258bb30d7.jpg?v=1571610983 Got a table for two near the exit? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160111 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160111_mounted_66cae371-956b-43bc-8653-2e7ebcac2a48.jpg?v=1571610983 Mind your own business! This is how I like it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160112 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160112_mounted_fbed7f76-8b3c-4b17-aa31-0442f4b87e01.jpg?v=1571610984 You left the ‘w’ out of ‘twenty’! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160113 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160113_mounted_b9b180de-dc44-40bc-b2ff-db526fd3485d.jpg?v=1571610984 I gotta write a poem about Dad. What rhymes with ‘el dummo’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160114 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160114_mounted_9e5c2d64-7e85-4e83-9be9-a54ee25b17ec.jpg?v=1571610984 Hold still! I dropped my little mirror. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160115 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160115_mounted_cd1de854-cdc4-4bd4-a8ee-e950dbe148f4.jpg?v=1571610984 You say you were helping your husband move furniture and it just ‘locked’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160116 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160116_mounted_4f1619b8-8638-401d-b907-f8f7ebb16acb.jpg?v=1571610984 Keep those press and TV people out of here ‘til we’ve had a chance to explain what’s wrong with him. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160118 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160118_mounted_e1b14cee-2bbd-4e89-9943-f0a886d18d78.jpg?v=1571610984 There. Everybody owes me a dollar. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160119 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160119_mounted_4f2c036b-60d9-4cb4-a91d-70af33ebb685.jpg?v=1571610984 D’you wanna give any money to save Norwegian crocodiles? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160120 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160120_mounted_846e9847-bb3d-486c-baec-c374cd325583.jpg?v=1571610984 I told you on the phone she had a lot of hair. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160121 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160121_mounted_0c61d098-f0b6-41f8-a227-35aad1b6082b.jpg?v=1571610984 If we don’t go to the zoo tomorrow, you’d better get yourself a good lawyer. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160122 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160122_mounted_1bd9b074-70c6-4742-9d6b-f97a3f15e651.jpg?v=1571610984 You’re not gonna putt 387 yards? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160123 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160123_mounted_b1151751-9770-462b-bffe-0e1836baa65c.jpg?v=1571610984 I bet your mother’s pie wasn’t as soft as that. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160125 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160125_mounted_be41a032-ab65-4ed6-9be6-6189b76c3d29.jpg?v=1571610984 You’re not making any sense! First you say your wife ran off with your best friend and then you tell us you never actually met the guy. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160126 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160126_mounted_dd577990-d541-4bbc-8f67-55fa430d3c9d.jpg?v=1571610984 That too tight? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160127 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160127_mounted_6d852c17-9d83-45ce-b1d9-b299629af2f0.jpg?v=1571610984 I’m so desperate for a job, I’ll even start at the bottom if it’s absolutely necessary. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160128 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160128_mounted_a76ea9e6-4568-40cf-9910-23d64b879d22.jpg?v=1571610984 It’s a guy from the zoo calling from across the street. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160129 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160129_mounted_2f85a55c-9f14-42a9-a50c-b3616d54eecb.jpg?v=1571610984 I can’t see any sense in this! We passed about 10 fish markets on the way here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160130 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160130_mounted_2ecbd4cf-6e88-4bef-89ee-c545b2fc9dfb.jpg?v=1571610984 If you want instant coffee, you’ll have to wait! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160201 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160201_mounted_74ea12c7-fd59-41d1-92b1-c800131d07ee.jpg?v=1571610984 He won’t eat! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160202 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160202_mounted_a2b7f4c3-67ae-4709-b610-e261f34af44b.jpg?v=1571610984 How is it I take a shower every day and do it without stepping on the soap? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160203 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160203_mounted_512ef81d-63ba-494e-a666-ebaaffd8acf8.jpg?v=1571610984 So sorry I woke you! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160204 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160204_mounted_08882ae0-0606-43a6-874f-fef02014d8ab.jpg?v=1571610984 While you’re taking time off from work, just remember where you got the germs. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160205 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160205_mounted_e30c6695-aeb4-4de8-899e-ee38dde6da87.jpg?v=1571610984 I haven’t changed much since I was 18, have I? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160206 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160206_mounted_dbd1159a-829d-4be0-baeb-eab2e60d6199.jpg?v=1571610984 Look at the dopey names on this menu! What’s an ‘elk-burger’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160208 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160208_mounted_23273f70-4d33-42a7-ad38-5879b8512793.jpg?v=1571610984 Can you send someone over? The TV’s making a high-pitched whistling sound. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160209 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160209_mounted_1cf78e0f-b486-417b-9cae-8d699a22b646.jpg?v=1571610984 It’s been brought to my attention that you retired 30 years ago. Where do you get the nerve to draw a pension for that long? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160210 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160210_mounted_fc58aa65-537d-46a2-8998-96724057aa77.jpg?v=1571610984 Thanks for looking after the bird while I was away. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160211 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160211_mounted_51e68cf7-3b60-4d62-9545-015b9dc33bb1.jpg?v=1571610984 What’s a good hand signal for backing onto a freeway? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160212 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160212_mounted_f8edc65a-427f-4f12-b7df-ad117df28837.jpg?v=1571610984 You mustn’t stand here looking so bored. You’re supposed to be having a good time! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160213 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160213_mounted_d5cb6fa9-636b-4ac6-930c-167b3bd2127f.jpg?v=1571610985 Your wife is still under the anesthetic and from what I’ve heard, this would be a good time to see her. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160215 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160215_mounted_9eef13da-81a7-4fc9-87c3-9dba5b6897d0.jpg?v=1571610985 It says ‘parental guidance recommended.’ You gonna call your mother? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160216 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160216_mounted_768faa6d-bbb2-41da-a7b9-f26c390f92c5.jpg?v=1571610985 Nice tackle, Ron! I think you’ll make the team. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160217 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160217_mounted_0c8185b0-4a6d-4d06-a6a3-e0afc58e58e0.jpg?v=1571610985 Grab his legs! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160218 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160218_mounted_cdf109b3-ba86-4d73-9d16-e7b19e8c211d.jpg?v=1571610985 I’m still awake, you know! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160219 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160219_mounted_7b813f3a-9a2e-42c8-a7d2-6dd0d07ba52e.jpg?v=1571610985 There’s a guy at the door who wants to know what I think of ‘sexual equality.’ What should I tell him? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160220 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160220_mounted_184b544b-4f4e-4449-9f09-67863ff73268.jpg?v=1571610985 Get this straight! If people only retire when they’re no longer productive, you should’ve gone 10 years ago! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160223 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160223_mounted_b643c376-8407-416b-befb-4a47879dbbcd.jpg?v=1571610985 If my dad asks you what you do for a living, say you’re a marine biologist. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160224 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160224_mounted_6434e71f-eb17-40aa-863b-c25136603540.jpg?v=1571610985 Dearly beloved, as this is John’s third wedding and Betty’s second, I’ll make this as brief as possible. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160225 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160225_mounted_0bd13882-a39e-40f2-8643-0497466b5178.jpg?v=1571610985 I’ve just seen those big lumpy things since we got here — but so far, no real people. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160226 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160226_mounted_02e7067a-52ca-47ab-9e05-20c35fcee3b1.jpg?v=1571610985 I’m making her a coat the same as yours. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160227 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160227_mounted_f92efcbc-1892-4f89-88be-6f7a8b7c71af.jpg?v=1571610985 Gesundheit! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160229 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160229_mounted_503e81f4-5fb8-409e-8d19-47600025ed23.jpg?v=1571610985 How am I supposed to watch TV when he’s always wearing my glasses? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160301 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160301_mounted_268a8d91-43c1-4884-ad84-6486ca1de941.jpg?v=1571610985 I told you to sip it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160302 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160302_mounted_666be56c-0fc2-483b-a5ed-56dc2659866f.jpg?v=1571610985 I was gonna give you fresh garden peas but I couldn’t find the can opener. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160303 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160303_mounted_81b12c3d-8ae7-4067-af6c-f24acd3770db.jpg?v=1571610985 This room you gave me overlooking the ocean. Is that the Pacific, or the Atlantic? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160304 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160304_mounted_fc975846-c9e7-4878-a377-d4c8e9bb0fa4.jpg?v=1571610985 Dig up your father or you won’t get any ice cream. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160305 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160305_mounted_0160a439-a279-4a8b-bf5e-d0ea5e5d549b.jpg?v=1571610985 Move over a bit. I can’t see the Grand Canyon. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160307 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160307_mounted_fbe77e69-7fa2-4d95-a09c-4ed2d283422f.jpg?v=1571610985 I can’t make egg on toast. It keeps rolling off. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160308 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160308_mounted_35c73944-8cc0-4365-a9f9-92a1ce041cfd.jpg?v=1571610985 What was that clown next door saying about building a new closet? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160309 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160309_mounted_9a9d66c8-3494-4e86-8bac-8bca68848a33.jpg?v=1571610985 I finally tracked down your records. I had them in the ‘dead’ file. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160310 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160310_mounted_16ebbebe-ad0b-48f1-9d9d-1e9be065888a.jpg?v=1571610985 Take a look up the road and see if my boss is coming. A little ugly guy with a bald head. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160311 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160311_mounted_5a77aee1-6e2f-4aee-9aa7-8f78f3d18c42.jpg?v=1571610985 For a minute there I thought you were Beyoncé. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160312 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160312_mounted_1c978a5e-5770-485c-8554-5972a341543a.jpg?v=1571610985 I didn’t like the look of that fish when I gave it to him. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160314 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160314_mounted_6bd37138-8f81-419a-8d49-77ffd50cfe15.jpg?v=1571610985 The forecast said there’s a 50 percent chance of rain so Genius is watering half the lawn. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160315 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160315_mounted_a0f3f932-59f1-45b5-8100-27d4d4df1202.jpg?v=1571610985 Did you see where that one went? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160316 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160316_mounted_a54ef534-06e5-4b02-a9d8-0183f60cc951.jpg?v=1571610985 Will you get your cat off this bed! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160317 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160317_mounted_3a8882d8-1b28-4431-98e1-8be57cc44ba2.jpg?v=1571610986 Look at my wall! Can’t you tell the difference between bug-killer and spray-paint? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160318 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160318_mounted_cfee90b1-7feb-4096-9fad-d4ca1b246018.jpg?v=1571610986 I wish you wouldn’t keep reading while I’m trying to watch TV. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160319 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160319_mounted_6f231245-bb0d-4d17-84cc-b95822f4ef1e.jpg?v=1571610986 Just the usual full-moon crowd. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160322 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160322_mounted_6c4b5a99-62a5-4723-931e-2e78dde8d0a3.jpg?v=1571610986 Teacher says if I don’t do well at school, I’ll end up like you. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160323 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160323_mounted_f0a0aa20-c696-430b-bb4f-229c90505eff.jpg?v=1571610986 You’re not drinking your water! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160324 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160324_mounted_24e308a9-cb69-4277-aeb0-b13e306dacdb.jpg?v=1571610986 I guess you don’t read so good. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160325 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160325_mounted_34c5ed53-cbff-4836-a462-a16996fa75cd.jpg?v=1571610986 Close the account? You mean you want to draw out the whole 90 cents? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160326 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160326_mounted_8489f864-2d32-4f0f-8d68-0310be350caf.jpg?v=1571610986 WHAT ARE YOU BLAMING ME FOR? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160328 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160328_mounted_c25e8cc0-8836-46b1-99e1-1528b92c95c5.jpg?v=1571610986 Harry across the street says we’ve got a big silver thing parked on our roof. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160329 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160329_mounted_e75d0fba-d244-4ddb-871a-4ad67351ef3d.jpg?v=1571610986 Richest blend in the world. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160330 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160330_mounted_d9783e23-f7f4-4608-be1a-ba933bcb3ec5.jpg?v=1571610986 You the young fella thinking of buying the farm? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160331 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160331_mounted_5614206d-00f5-493a-8143-c95631d8d1b2.jpg?v=1571610986 Gold’s gone up to 87 cents an ounce! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160401 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160401_mounted_82a81854-4359-4582-8030-5065246e19f6.jpg?v=1571610986 Linda, those pants we had on sale… were they machine washable? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160402 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160402_mounted_25cd1fa5-add3-4342-9402-c110fbb1b820.jpg?v=1571610986 When I was your age, I was the only one to have an engagement ring that squirted water.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160404 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160404_mounted_432b602e-8a48-4a20-9ccd-2de5aa24ca61.jpg?v=1571610986 I’m putting you on probation. That means no more mugging for 12 months. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160405 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160405_mounted_23dd599e-a05d-4ff8-95a3-6bfd8cbe1cb5.jpg?v=1571610986 His bark’s a lot worse than his bite. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160406 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160406_mounted_f6780e67-5072-4641-85e8-7e86b098321f.jpg?v=1571610986 Piano movers! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160407 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160407_mounted_d91e3a22-afed-4f12-9e10-50630114ea50.jpg?v=1571610986 Can you turn this way a little bit? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160408 2026-07-21T07:53:34-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160408_mounted_d0d040dc-64ec-437f-bb11-520137e3e1ab.jpg?v=1571610986 At least try the earrings! 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