https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160419 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160419_mounted_2085e896-9c94-40a4-acdf-f21a7ecb62e7.jpg?v=1571610987 Does he bite? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160420 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160420_mounted_834f3b76-c99e-4fb5-913b-64c8432a14e9.jpg?v=1571610987 The capital of Holland is ‘H.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160421 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160421_mounted_cdaaf529-8fa5-4292-b29e-456b8cf50fac.jpg?v=1571610987 You shouldn’t upset your wife like that. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160422 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160422_mounted_ca82f952-aa94-465e-b4e5-a93738ba0cd5.jpg?v=1571610987 Visiting hours are 2 ‘til 4 p.m. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160423 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160423_mounted_982c08c4-b04a-4a2f-b5a2-0cd56201e8f8.jpg?v=1571610987 The TV won’t be ready ‘til next Friday. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160425 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160425_mounted_51e76b87-528f-44c4-adbf-abdaa75ea8fd.jpg?v=1571610987 As soon as someone discovers gravity, they’ll all hit the ground. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160426 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160426_mounted_92ff2df0-d2ea-4578-b4ac-c9213261f498.jpg?v=1571610987 Look at my rug! I told you not to put exploding cheese down the mouseholes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160427 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160427_mounted_b27bb70e-1621-47d1-93d8-eeb310f960da.jpg?v=1571610987 Getting married is a big step. I’ll need some time to think about it. What was your name again? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160428 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160428_mounted_8f1c518b-cf39-49f4-9da1-c971bf4c3b8e.jpg?v=1571610987 It looks better in the other room. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160429 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160429_mounted_4cb2cd20-8114-4129-8c4a-4827868e4ba7.jpg?v=1571610987 Look, as soon as a private room becomes available, you’ll get one. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160430 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160430_mounted_a4524440-fdc4-4e5b-844b-59ffd0486579.jpg?v=1571610987 Is it OK if I scratch my ear? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160502 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160502_mounted_c3732863-14cb-4db1-a812-cf0aa1561274.jpg?v=1571610987 The judge gave my lawyer five years before he even got around to me! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160503 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160503_mounted_c01504a1-92e8-4414-bbfc-9aaf016c71f9.jpg?v=1571610987 It’ll go away if you don’t keep looking at it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160504 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160504_mounted_4f28244f-fc1c-4bb2-8986-e808624eab6e.jpg?v=1571610987 I don’t know how you manage to eat all my cooking and never put on any weight. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160505 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160505_mounted_cd8c1ce0-2429-4543-9397-dffa01d47785.jpg?v=1571610987 That one’s automatic. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160506 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160506_mounted_57ff04f5-e1a4-426a-a6ab-cfc696e9e18a.jpg?v=1571610987 This your idea of babysitting, is it? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160507 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160507_mounted_9bb126cb-9d0c-414e-a523-4bd449d4f70c.jpg?v=1571610987 Grandma, I can see where Dad gets his whiskers! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160509 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160509_mounted_73115bab-2b98-4cda-a373-9fb6ec41d61a.jpg?v=1571610987 It took me three hours, but I finally discovered why you’re limping. You lost the heel off your shoe. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160510 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160510_mounted_27fa5060-6496-4fa3-8ad5-02f211c72ec3.jpg?v=1571610987 How much longer you gonna be in this bathroom? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160511 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160511_mounted_e5643bdc-dbac-4194-a815-d9a14c907d47.jpg?v=1571610987 I was cleaning it! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160512 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160512_mounted_e2eacc3c-974c-4107-b5c2-9938df62106a.jpg?v=1571610987 I’ve got the results of your X-rays. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160513 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160513_mounted_9131224b-0350-47ac-868b-83e2ecc7e7d9.jpg?v=1571610987 Whaddya mean, it’s only a model? How much bigger d’you wanna build it? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160514 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160514_mounted_f6213dd3-81af-4fad-82ab-d1cdf4b08485.jpg?v=1571610987 Are you coming hunting, or are you gonna sit around here all day inventing? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160516 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160516_mounted_875f515a-d21b-483e-a954-e3d9e7e2673b.jpg?v=1571610988 This one’s supposed to go ‘snap, crackle, BOOM’! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160517 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160517_mounted_49ae0ce7-bdb0-47a3-8398-d7485d023e25.jpg?v=1571610988 You forgot to pay the window cleaner again! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160518 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160518_mounted_67927946-4b62-477e-9a15-7e51ef83ca2f.jpg?v=1571610988 You after another pay raise? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160519 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160519_mounted_19e095e4-4edc-4bd3-bdd1-8172c3b3d977.jpg?v=1571610988 Your honor, my client is the product of a broken home. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160520 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160520_mounted_a7e91e83-3ef5-451b-9eff-933e0bb174d6.jpg?v=1571610988 Why didn’t you say you wanted a sandwich while I was in the kitchen? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160521 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160521_mounted_74dd2b52-2d6c-4780-bf1a-64b80cc5fa73.jpg?v=1571610988 If they ever edit this for television, it’ll run about two minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160523 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160523_mounted_a041da4d-6843-4ce9-959f-407390b6ff20.jpg?v=1571610988 We’re short of plates! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160524 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160524_mounted_41388c43-2ea6-4614-8289-06bc1db0a599.jpg?v=1571610988 What sort of dog eats carrots? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160525 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160525_mounted_b30807ce-76c8-43c4-b248-d338ee9ae3ab.jpg?v=1571610988 He gets me out for a little exercise. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160526 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160526_mounted_205c0f31-0641-4825-88f3-b9ee0235c861.jpg?v=1571610988 And in recognition of your 20 years loyal service in the X-ray department… https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160527 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160527_mounted_29886d55-dab4-43e6-8d6c-ca00ee584a10.jpg?v=1571610988 You have my word of honor, it is only a rabies shot. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160528 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160528_mounted_82b0767a-c0f7-4693-bf30-8d5b34743cf5.jpg?v=1571610988 I still have to give you a ticket. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160530 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160530_mounted_ec9ebe58-59c0-4e7f-ad81-fd2a064b70c1.jpg?v=1571610988 He still owe you that twenty bucks? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160531 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160531_mounted_0d7cad06-a260-4a5a-9c51-147cea80a77c.jpg?v=1571610988 We been to the museums. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160601 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160601_mounted_8cfc2772-ede3-42d3-ab8c-a3858e546cb1.jpg?v=1571610988 The guy across the street wants to know what you’re cooking. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160602 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160602_mounted_87bee285-f89f-474f-8752-d26722e3f524.jpg?v=1571610988 You can go to Las Vegas if you’re lucky enough to make it through this door. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160603 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160603_mounted_4f54b636-cb26-4317-a34c-47a732be8f83.jpg?v=1571610988 Pssst… D’you wanna buy a burglar-proof lock? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160604 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160604_mounted_bae40154-d63a-40a3-8ad2-fea309f0eaf0.jpg?v=1571610988 Your car’s being recalled. Something to do with the seatbelts. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160606 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160606_mounted_c42cbfad-512b-4ab6-9d2b-3cffc129a6ee.jpg?v=1571610988 You can’t buy one lettuce anymore. You have to get a package of 10. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160607 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160607_mounted_a1f76677-9c02-4ce4-872c-774cb90f4981.jpg?v=1571610988 You sure that’s beef? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160608 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160608_mounted_f5e4589f-9d0d-4da5-8474-29aad46522c9.jpg?v=1571610988 Number FOUR. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160609 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160609_mounted_25f15bbe-37e4-4fac-9778-ecc979ddb66b.jpg?v=1571610988 How long have you been on the night shift? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160610 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160610_mounted_ea7b4bd7-97b2-4f09-8af8-1cff35b33e39.jpg?v=1571610988 Boy! I’m glad you’re still awake. I was captured by a UFO and taken to another planet. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160611 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160611_mounted_4d5019de-a3d4-451a-ab73-a49f9b3bea9e.jpg?v=1571610988 My dad says I can’t baby-sit for less than $20 an hour. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160614 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160614_mounted_3e9a374e-ae0f-4013-a8b7-3058e3ea8b60.jpg?v=1571610988 Hold on! I’ve dropped a contact lens. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160615 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160615_mounted_a952a4d8-6da2-43bc-b4bd-ad599ec8d136.jpg?v=1571610988 I’m well aware it’s still under warranty. So what? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160616 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160616_mounted_b90049bf-3828-4edb-ab4a-d8b8042a6562.jpg?v=1571610988 The dog not hungry? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160617 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160617_mounted_edbc20bc-8410-4e5c-873c-b542b7388795.jpg?v=1571610989 Waiter! There’s a revolting four-letter word in this alphabet soup. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160618 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160618_mounted_a611abea-5cbb-4f13-a5bc-0d98bfb28c15.jpg?v=1571610989 What you’re looking at could make you a very rich man. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160620 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160620_mounted_aefa9ac2-56fa-4bef-b620-2096da434803.jpg?v=1571610989 Did you remember to bring my sunscreen lotion? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160621 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160621_mounted_957af20f-ba5d-43de-b50a-86afb28010fd.jpg?v=1571610989 Is this the first time he’s been outside today? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160622 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160622_mounted_7abbfad2-186e-4a48-81f5-1e9dcdf55d94.jpg?v=1571610989 Dad, do you think there are people on other planets? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160623 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160623_mounted_3c7f4bc4-b76e-4439-80de-1ef2b4726a1f.jpg?v=1571610989 You can rent my room and keep all the money if you like. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160624 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160624_mounted_7ca4536a-a91c-41f0-8370-8c8fb713c86a.jpg?v=1571610989 I’d like a second opinion. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160625 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160625_mounted_dc2dc6ab-bdb9-43d4-a230-9e74d9745dec.jpg?v=1571610989 Can I make a phone call before I commit myself? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160627 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160627_mounted_93632d5d-43bb-4965-b121-f9a2ec382811.jpg?v=1571610989 How much do you want for these brown ones? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160628 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160628_mounted_6a0d9296-d759-4118-a2a9-a99e1e7404fd.jpg?v=1571610989 Why would I marry you for your money? There must be easier ways for me to get my hands on 45 bucks! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160629 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160629_mounted_79315261-83a5-4ad8-931e-426dc13c6619.jpg?v=1571610989 It’s the first time he’s played with the Boston Symphony. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160630 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160630_mounted_4f56d31e-f154-4fd0-81f5-d6ef9eae4fa8.jpg?v=1571610989 Anyone here fly a 747? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160701 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160701_mounted_c7a79803-7a26-4845-9e1b-645996b2a222.jpg?v=1571610989 I didn’t ask you if you smoked. I said, ‘Do you need any matches’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160702 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160702_mounted_78444903-44fb-454a-a87a-49145536f783.jpg?v=1571610989 He’s still there! I wish you wouldn’t over-tip like that. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160704 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160704_mounted_594303e0-d60c-4fca-96ae-a4be9d00b16c.jpg?v=1571610989 He painted this one when he was three years old. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160705 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160705_mounted_190f5fb6-67c6-4be7-a837-a7bc60fd9a07.jpg?v=1571610989 No wonder your brother never writes! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160706 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160706_mounted_4e514e00-c040-4e1c-866f-97b23ebe7cb0.jpg?v=1571610989 We can put all our old junk up here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160707 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160707_mounted_03f83b5e-8edd-45b3-a459-addca732404f.jpg?v=1571610989 Try to think of something for me to invent. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160708 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160708_mounted_466e29ad-bba8-4323-9dd3-e69b2f160484.jpg?v=1571610989 Did I say we had to plant them four feet deep? I meant four inches. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160709 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160709_mounted_b300926e-9115-4a7b-89a7-cec771454c83.jpg?v=1571610989 You sure you couldn’t find any larger nails? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160711 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160711_mounted_073fa13c-dcdd-4df6-8010-39b3b499cbfc.jpg?v=1571610989 I can’t remember the last time you put your arm around me at the movies. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160712 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160712_mounted_86329fe2-0780-4a92-a4f9-1a22e7e48ab5.jpg?v=1571610989 They’re wearing them like that these days. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160713 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160713_mounted_95f74f7a-f766-4c18-baf7-a03c3c21c300.jpg?v=1571610989 The jury has found you not guilty, but I’m going to give you 2 years just to be on the safe side. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160714 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160714_mounted_5ef09aa4-7470-418e-95a8-2460486e8aeb.jpg?v=1571610989 If you don’t buy one of these pencils, you’re placing an unfair burden on the rest of society. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160715 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160715_mounted_ee5e0caf-a8f9-4d3f-a9ee-96a0bc36c7be.jpg?v=1571610989 I don’t know how you can stay up all night and watch horror movies. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160716 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160716_mounted_4c9e5dae-1b1c-4c26-912c-ed0590f2fe80.jpg?v=1571610989 Are you wearing furry socks? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160718 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160718_mounted_3b860c6c-dcab-4250-9ea6-0ca371c8e0c1.jpg?v=1571610989 What are you eating that for? That’s her model of Mount Everest. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160719 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160719_mounted_9967e354-b1d8-4d23-a16c-08461ff42db5.jpg?v=1571610990 You’re lucky you were wearing your seatbelt. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160720 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160720_mounted_f247fb7e-326e-449c-ae3c-7fba4c93635f.jpg?v=1571610990 You’ve laid the new rug! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160721 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160721_mounted_32a87e54-734a-4f51-b013-dac4754831ac.jpg?v=1571610990 I put the candles on the cake like you said, and the box caught fire. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160722 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160722_mounted_870cd6a1-c97c-4e41-bb82-41c6632717ba.jpg?v=1571610990 You’re absolutely right, I’m at the wrong house. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160723 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160723_mounted_cde27902-536d-436c-919f-4a80988b988f.jpg?v=1571610990 I told you it wouldn’t stay up there. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160725 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160725_mounted_8f7fea05-6cbd-431a-9573-077cf54d6d57.jpg?v=1571610990 I didn’t see that. Did you get him with the blueberry or pecan? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160726 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160726_mounted_09a32d5f-fc9f-4276-b4bd-f9977ea1969d.jpg?v=1571610990 I don’t know if they told you outside but I never employ anyone over 5 feet tall. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160727 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160727_mounted_f0b241c0-47dc-4feb-9d46-9b3e9756ac07.jpg?v=1571610990 So anyway, I thought, you won’t be back for 10 minutes. I’ll grab a hot dog. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160728 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160728_mounted_721382d9-ba68-44cc-8b88-1b708a7b98d5.jpg?v=1571610990 Quick! Your mother sent me a birthday present. Get a bucket of water. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160729 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160729_mounted_e705aa02-a552-4859-941b-8ac8c11de8d8.jpg?v=1571610990 Every major problem on this planet can be linked to overcrowding. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160730 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160730_mounted_0b7c7c1d-6e6f-42bb-847f-006ae648c0ec.jpg?v=1571610990 I hope I’m facing in this direction when I wake up in the morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160801 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160801_mounted_b385c2f6-dea1-4d93-b833-e6d80ae8786e.jpg?v=1571610990 Sorry I’m late. I got caught in traffic. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160802 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160802_mounted_7ebf9030-176e-4a18-ab59-c0da30442b3c.jpg?v=1571610990 Don’t spill this; it’s goldfish. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160803 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160803_mounted_2d7a4438-09f1-4c9f-a70e-2f70d487d4eb.jpg?v=1571610990 D’you know ‘Shine on Harvest Moon’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160804 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160804_mounted_5762dd98-8bdc-49c8-9ba2-a62cb6610802.jpg?v=1571610990 Your aunt Frieda has left you $150,000 if you’ll promise to look after her cat. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160805 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160805_mounted_bf802796-a030-4da0-b30d-0373aeddfc41.jpg?v=1571610990 What’s the big idea sticking this on the back wall of the garage? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160806 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160806_mounted_ad7e3993-71e8-4dea-92f0-2bb39f834ed8.jpg?v=1571610990 I was going to feed your tropical fish but the cat saved me the trouble. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160808 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160808_mounted_a83462fb-80b9-487d-bce9-c992ce5a0ff3.jpg?v=1571610990 Don’t forget the syrup. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160809 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160809_mounted_0720873c-96a9-4b99-870d-a358f7cb4884.jpg?v=1571610990 Are you taking your bikini? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160810 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160810_mounted_f9ece878-cc39-43bf-b1ef-a434181fd0df.jpg?v=1571610990 It’s not gonna kill you to help with the dishes once in a while. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160811 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160811_mounted_b280281a-8f42-4a89-87dd-2db82fe2657f.jpg?v=1571610991 D’you want that slice of pizza you didn’t eat last week? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160812 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160812_mounted_98f5ee76-6133-4822-8c8e-58c45c109996.jpg?v=1571610991 Don’t look straight in the mirror this morning. Sneak up on it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160813 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160813_mounted_7e38d48f-1863-45b0-af22-9ca28faca06c.jpg?v=1571610991 Your dinner’s getting cold. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160815 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160815_mounted_75740972-369e-4fa2-83a8-1970acba7935.jpg?v=1571610991 I hate giving these injections. Look at my hands shaking. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160816 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160816_mounted_ccc0e24c-d685-4526-8dc4-b4e2c740a524.jpg?v=1571610991 Joyce, give this guy a second cup of coffee. He found my car keys. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160817 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160817_mounted_605c94f1-8369-4162-a4df-11a9ab7a1283.jpg?v=1571610991 What’s wrong with me picking up a few extra bucks on the way to the movies? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160818 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160818_mounted_5147837a-7ccd-4949-ae26-56ae606321b2.jpg?v=1571610991 If this is gonna make me strong and handsome, I think you’d better eat it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160819 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160819_mounted_4d9ff70e-8ce4-4390-802a-58324b55eaf9.jpg?v=1571610991 You can’t rush my chunky stew. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160820 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160820_mounted_ec44e6d5-e7b8-4ca6-81d4-9b0eb5c078c9.jpg?v=1571610991 I told you not to jump around upstairs. Look at my lamp! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160822 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160822_mounted_b36fc034-5f76-4853-9612-334a32a86314.jpg?v=1571610991 Hey Bud, I need change. Give me two twenties for this five. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160823 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160823_mounted_c5e4b1d2-08e4-444b-ada7-70c5b2b4e3c9.jpg?v=1571610991 Mother’s sent you a book for your birthday. She says it’s got lots of pictures. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160824 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160824_mounted_0d13b177-fd85-4444-a725-178fb9b344e2.jpg?v=1571610991 We’re demanding more work and less food. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160825 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160825_mounted_9a503fd8-77af-4f35-82a0-fb3550f5296d.jpg?v=1571610991 Wake up. I heard a crash! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160826 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160826_mounted.jpg?v=1571610991 How much longer you gonna be in here? The bread ran out last week and now the coffee and butter are gone. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160827 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160827_mounted_69a9dff5-4fde-41cc-9520-d00fb97894a6.jpg?v=1571610991 Why do I get the feeling that if I drop this check it’ll jump up and break the window? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160829 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160829_mounted_e550c3c6-8191-49f0-b9b0-e44f4c5076b9.jpg?v=1571610991 You’ll love this place. Palm trees, sandy beaches and a restaurant every 30 feet. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160830 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160830_mounted_376299e0-6f13-455d-adf3-627c488bf164.jpg?v=1571610991 Please let him watch TV! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160831 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160831_mounted_f10c662b-99b8-46df-9ddb-ab4543edc587.jpg?v=1571610991 As a last resort, this final attachment will slide into the customer’s pocket and suck out $160. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160901 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160901_mounted_e9e89667-3660-4127-8c68-622459fdb392.jpg?v=1571610991 If you want to know how you’re going to make your first million, it’ll cost you another five bucks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160902 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160902_mounted_754651af-9a9e-4507-8f1e-ae423548d981.jpg?v=1571610991 It’s a flashlight. I couldn’t find any candles. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160903 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160903_mounted_6b0afd0a-b5ba-45ef-b63c-50865e6b5124.jpg?v=1571610991 All the girls are off sick! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160905 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160905_mounted.jpg?v=1571610991 I’ve got to find a kidney that won’t reject YOU. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160906 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160906_mounted_5f8ca6e0-ab22-4f37-b003-adb90e331290.jpg?v=1571610992 The house next door is on fire. D’you wanna watch? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160907 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160907_mounted_e4d2e2b2-9917-4884-b0c8-555af4b59433.jpg?v=1571610992 Well look at that! The store across the street has the same binoculars for $15 less. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160908 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160908_mounted_b94d1b45-8d9e-44af-9f59-792f18461daa.jpg?v=1571610992 You don’t have to keep smiling for a chest X-ray. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160909 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160909_mounted_d7e8c752-fdd5-42e2-a4ae-e1b83c8e393f.jpg?v=1571610992 I gotta go. There’s a guy waiting to use the phone. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160910 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160910_mounted_3e8a5de7-33aa-42a6-a937-35d9f715b372.jpg?v=1571610992 Three times I’ve asked that waitress to bring you a fork. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160912 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160912_mounted_9d68471f-bb21-4a06-969a-6f7b64819c20.jpg?v=1571610992 Your hat’s full of cigarette butts again! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160913 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160913_mounted_ad4ff963-a6f7-4eca-bdd5-9d5079c20bfb.jpg?v=1571610992 I think you’ll find, Sir, our brochure says ‘safe beach.’ You must have gone into the water. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160914 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160914_mounted_56fc7704-5ab2-49a9-af6d-716cdc317016.jpg?v=1571610992 If you’re gonna complain, you can cut it yourself. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160915 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160915_mounted_a85af347-16ff-4d1d-bbb3-0309edcfd56f.jpg?v=1571610992 The game has been postponed. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160916 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160916_mounted_5a3d1efc-a633-411e-9346-b6fbe3592f21.jpg?v=1571610992 I told you not to try to adjust it yourself. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160917 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160917_mounted_d32ce73a-f13d-4877-b34a-e82dc2f39e2f.jpg?v=1571610992 We’ve lost your bags, but you get first choice of any bag off Flight 601 from Athens. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160919 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160919_mounted_867a29eb-5790-45ba-b5c7-4687ff13d8e8.jpg?v=1571610992 WILL YOU KEEP YOUR ARMS DOWN! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160920 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160920_mounted_60ee64fa-177b-48a7-8f9a-7d97a237c3d6.jpg?v=1571610992 That must be one nervous parrot! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160921 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160921_mounted_a442e08e-f366-47d4-a051-291ade14efb4.jpg?v=1571610992 Too spicy? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160922 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160922_mounted_1ec09bfb-2704-4d7b-8b8f-7d4d975b7ddb.jpg?v=1571610992 I told her, the day I do the dishes is the day the sky falls in. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160923 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160923_mounted_0cd60c5f-ddf2-4dd3-8537-c8291c880599.jpg?v=1571610992 I’m going now. Your house is always drafty. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160924 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160924_mounted_64ec0e14-15b5-47a6-a5ef-ef60f8b39b96.jpg?v=1571610992 So you left school in 1937 and became a bank robber. What happened after that? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160926 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160926_mounted_60bb9e88-89e0-4e15-b41f-1a821f564985.jpg?v=1571610992 I know you’re a veterinarian. Regular doctors won’t touch him! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160927 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160927_mounted_1ca8102a-1d56-4433-9e51-f3ef16e26b06.jpg?v=1571610992 Sorry about the two scars. We had your X-ray upside down for a while. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160928 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160928_mounted_5942b2d4-195d-4ff3-83fd-bb77bd95378a.jpg?v=1571610992 Your account is $28 overdrawn. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160929 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160929_mounted_769ca505-c4ce-41d1-8f1c-eed71f9f4658.jpg?v=1571610992 You better make sure I get it back Friday. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160930 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160930_mounted_91eab6a5-a0c1-4645-8fef-8475e50b6b9b.jpg?v=1571610992 They’re all out, but I’ll tell them you called. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161001 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161001_mounted_0d67a993-4cb3-4fa1-aebf-4f6f2b383f8e.jpg?v=1571610992 If it doesn’t itch, don’t worry about it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161003 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161003_mounted_81004e40-98fa-4e58-a52c-88d7d1be6e42.jpg?v=1571610992 I never enjoy a comedy with you laughing all the way through it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161004 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161004_mounted_bbfb4158-00f9-41ce-828a-23682257e499.jpg?v=1571610992 Folks, the main reason you’re not getting a good picture is because you bought yourselves a microwave oven. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161005 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161005_mounted_55c2efbf-602c-43e3-ae3a-67e3907230b0.jpg?v=1571610993 I brought you here, Agnes, to ask you to marry me. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161006 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161006_mounted_ebfb36c5-6267-44fb-9619-4cc57c0519cf.jpg?v=1571610993 They got me for $28 tax last week. How did you make out? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161007 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161007_mounted_d0e93112-4657-476d-bca5-8aae90d8a7e1.jpg?v=1571610993 He loves his mommy’s cooking. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161008 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161008_mounted_d01ebc57-d695-482c-9a46-a0c8f4e7a54a.jpg?v=1571610993 You’ve been paroled. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161010 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161010_mounted_eda65614-738c-4701-b899-d55553b93956.jpg?v=1571610993 Can’t you answer the front door bell while I’m cooking? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161011 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161011_mounted_d2e867aa-2915-4f6c-bbe1-ade939f18cf2.jpg?v=1571610993 Your mother left her teeth in our bathroom. They’re just starting to slow down! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161012 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161012_mounted_e2bf7ccc-f4d8-4c11-9bab-b038576a8c7c.jpg?v=1571610993 As it’s your first jump, we’ll see if we can find you a better parachute. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161013 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161013_mounted_c651dd93-360b-40d1-bbf6-61bb58c47c2c.jpg?v=1571610993 Your father lost a dollar here in 1986. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161014 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161014_mounted_d206211c-967b-478f-9d04-049a7f5b0ce7.jpg?v=1571610993 She came straight out of ‘Jams and Jellies’ without signaling. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161015 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161015_mounted_ed03ba04-58bd-42bc-b3b6-419661658c53.jpg?v=1571610993 This one’s called ‘Here Comes the Sun.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161017 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161017_mounted_9c8b6ecd-c4fb-4fb5-b5f7-9b38e0ed40d3.jpg?v=1571610993 I told you not to keep asking me to dance. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161018 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161018_mounted_4296e01f-28a1-4576-bd8b-4f8d49de5102.jpg?v=1571610993 I’ll pay for them and we’ll call it your birthday present. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161019 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161019_mounted_72dd996a-1c85-418d-a23d-f96d287f6afb.jpg?v=1571610993 This ‘Bottled in 1835’ is written in ballpoint pen. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161020 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161020_mounted_c04a4f18-e301-4acc-8b4e-d799dcd5f607.jpg?v=1571610993 He doesn’t have an account with us. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161021 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161021_mounted_68ad966b-370e-40d8-8b83-e2097092183d.jpg?v=1571610993 I’m not worried. If I’m not smart enough to get a good job, I can always teach. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161022 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161022_mounted_dc50b63e-8029-470f-b4c2-69f924caa466.jpg?v=1571610993 You forgot to tip her. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161024 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161024_mounted_bf8404da-8e80-41b4-b994-4c78f9a08afb.jpg?v=1571610993 Feeling any better after a hot bath? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161025 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161025_mounted_0d9a3a72-ca8a-4dc3-8ca7-9ea2d2b9da43.jpg?v=1571610993 Where d’you keep the bubblegum? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161026 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161026_mounted_c7cbd271-a1c1-4fc9-98c9-a76ecbc47028.jpg?v=1571610993 Hey, boss! This cute little fella wants to know why we’re three years behind with the car payment. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161027 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161027_mounted_7a1ee0dd-4a42-4357-8bac-bfa0a891bf0e.jpg?v=1571610993 Don’t eat it if your gums are sore. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161028 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161028_mounted_f6f000bb-799c-4f80-bfad-9997df80e8c0.jpg?v=1571610993 I guess you were out back. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161029 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161029_mounted_287302f4-f0d2-4ead-8462-685b0371e948.jpg?v=1571610993 It’s a real treat to talk to someone who doesn’t keep laughing. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161031 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161031_mounted_7ba9f1fd-100c-46f6-98ab-34ad7279f922.jpg?v=1571610993 There’s nothing wrong with him. He just does that to make me look stupid. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161101 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161101_mounted_2522c849-7459-4f7e-8261-37693be17d97.jpg?v=1571610993 I hope you’re not walking across my clean floor. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161102 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161102_mounted_d3283e3d-da27-4d10-b2a5-497347eb25c3.jpg?v=1571610993 Grandpa gave me his transistor radio. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161103 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161103_mounted_244cd455-ddb5-441a-a992-4403a65f15a8.jpg?v=1571610993 What would the ‘widow’s benefits’ be, say, six months from now? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161104 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161104_mounted_ff1325e1-6db5-42bd-bf4b-345e7d8f4acc.jpg?v=1571610994 Repeat after me: ‘Hypnotherapy is worth $60 an hour.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161105 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161105_mounted_51760454-9b1c-4627-ad34-fbc23e02d4b0.jpg?v=1571610994 How much to throw this in the ocean? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161107 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161107_mounted_3939574e-2bb1-4516-bfe6-d663bf64665d.jpg?v=1571610994 Mix me up another four quarts of this coffee. Think I’ll try it in my transmission. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161108 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161108_mounted_7c0b0e80-0230-4e75-9def-f4a3b800bcaa.jpg?v=1571610994 You won’t be able to paint the ceiling like that. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161109 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161109_mounted_bb2df869-6c4c-470b-b167-13a6158d2145.jpg?v=1571610994 How do you feel about me going to my sister’s for two weeks? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161110 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161110_mounted_7cc23555-48ae-4c75-93af-055d94ee3d8a.jpg?v=1571610994 Take that thing off or I’ll fine you for contempt. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161111 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161111_mounted_e5f062a8-1c7c-4d80-bee2-edf3416b3dc5.jpg?v=1571610994 Thanks for doing my homework last night. Now the teacher thinks I’m retarded! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161112 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161112_mounted_87d28795-fd93-4bce-8739-eaf5f670621e.jpg?v=1571610994 How many times have I told you not to run with the wedding cakes? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161114 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161114_mounted_61e192a7-8ad5-493b-8c38-090bf2d5c257.jpg?v=1571610994 How many dishes does it do to the gallon? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161115 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161115_mounted_8f3bf4df-2525-413b-b6eb-1ee040636fd0.jpg?v=1571610994 Anyone know where I can find the gift shop? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161116 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161116_mounted_d221a8d4-ebea-4d0f-9006-f39db9d3f814.jpg?v=1571610994 I’ve gotta have identification. You must have some sort of pilot’s license? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161117 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161117_mounted_cda1875d-35cd-491b-a8c3-73dfd6394fc4.jpg?v=1571610994 I told you this was a classy joint. I just hired a guy with a Ph. D. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161118 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161118_mounted_9990767c-e5ef-4f1b-a24e-e00d68fb4157.jpg?v=1571610994 What are you here for? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161119 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161119_mounted_5af84c72-e288-4964-8454-f666ac92d9e3.jpg?v=1571610994 At these prices, I’ve got about 20 seconds to recover and get out the main gate. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161121 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161121_mounted_a4f039d6-d0f4-42f8-af31-5a6dd090767e.jpg?v=1571610994 You do realize I’m going to have to report this, Thompson? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161122 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161122_mounted_768e5b6b-2f29-4174-8a27-45b49f03b924.jpg?v=1571610994 Write your name and phone number in my little book and give yourself one and a half stars. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161123 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161123_mounted_5a297021-ea0b-4294-8f1c-9c25957b2c34.jpg?v=1571610994 He wants to borrow a million dollars to leave to his grandchildren. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161124 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161124_mounted_b3cdab76-455c-4c04-a9e2-2ed3e92ad9b9.jpg?v=1571610994 Excuse me for being born. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161125 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161125_mounted_a8884d3e-a7e9-4ff8-b7ce-fd9893b3159a.jpg?v=1571610994 Okay, three coffees for him. What do you two want? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161126 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161126_mounted_6c04501f-7002-4b17-9783-4ca737ca2ad6.jpg?v=1571610994 I wish you wouldn’t keep sitting so close to my cactus. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161128 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161128_mounted_d6dd0075-7558-4164-b6f2-ddb613ec72d2.jpg?v=1571610994 I bet they’ll try to keep our $5 deposit! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161129 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161129_mounted_c1b8a482-ee2a-4556-a530-5bcec0ad80e3.jpg?v=1571610994 Your wife’s got a very bad case of sunburn on her tongue. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161130 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161130_mounted_92d5d586-49fc-4a07-918f-99a9a6d7615b.jpg?v=1571610994 I get a real sharp pain when I do this. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161201 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161201_mounted_1d6f3268-b4cf-4598-a3aa-3ebe3701fc76.jpg?v=1571610994 Any diet drinks? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161202 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161202_mounted_b511c5a2-877d-4119-b2d7-a9af7f883f4e.jpg?v=1571610994 He’s lost his worm again. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161203 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161203_mounted_c5b9a5be-6a75-40ad-abc4-d765c684ee20.jpg?v=1571610995 Great checkup! Have some candy. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161205 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161205_mounted_6ec11b3f-f999-498d-8724-4541a7495e97.jpg?v=1571610995 What happened to your face? They said you’d hurt your foot. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161206 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161206_mounted_95368e20-fd8a-4627-afa6-a34fdd949ad4.jpg?v=1571610995 Golden hits of yesteryear… one dollar. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161207 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161207_mounted_51e4d03c-31e7-404c-aa9d-85f3ce748d60.jpg?v=1571610995 Take a look in here! Five bags of mail, two sets of encyclopedias and a new vacuum cleaner. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161208 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161208_mounted_2c984f1a-a02d-4203-a5e3-92f83e9d2817.jpg?v=1571610995 I told you to get it dry cleaned. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161209 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161209_mounted_5e31fd21-a06c-43b9-a63a-12e90d47b55c.jpg?v=1571610995 Happy birthday, boss. All the guys got together and bought you a new padlock for your wallet. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161210 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161210_mounted_497c887d-3f67-44a9-9584-ab44334e00c7.jpg?v=1571610995 I’m 65 today! I guess I’m retired. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161212 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161212_mounted_7a32582e-9416-4719-a0ff-172cd757fe0a.jpg?v=1571610995 The important thing now is that he wants to get out of lion taming. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161213 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161213_mounted_26dfcff0-a04c-4aa1-a1ca-c64550bc24ee.jpg?v=1571610995 Oh, good! Is that my other knitting needle? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161214 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161214_mounted_08f52d93-ef0c-4c32-802a-58929a09a432.jpg?v=1571610995 Is that chicken too well cooked for you? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161215 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161215_mounted_38a4d62c-e83c-478f-8f8d-9532b24a235c.jpg?v=1571610995 He wants to buy an exercise bicycle with a motor on it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161216 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161216_mounted_e4be4bdb-6f18-49bc-821b-ea77471e0dcb.jpg?v=1571610995 Put those back! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161217 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161217_mounted_3542d6cb-ee67-419e-adbd-3f62342057b0.jpg?v=1571610995 Where do you want the TV? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161219 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161219_mounted_cd904ca2-d556-43a0-afed-bb18c1b253b8.jpg?v=1571610995 Have you got a smoke alarm I can switch off while I’m cooking? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161220 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161220_mounted_27ef9f2e-18cd-48b2-ac06-76c6fd46bd17.jpg?v=1571610995 I don’t care if it’s his birthday! I want him out. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161221 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161221_mounted_0bed54a3-2c02-4b23-862d-28c544bde110.jpg?v=1571610995 You’re a lot uglier than your pictures. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161222 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161222_mounted_060410ef-0a9f-4943-942f-e92d806ba5bd.jpg?v=1571610995 He put our clock radio in his sack! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161223 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161223_mounted_d8c67ea0-56af-42f1-8b3f-74d390daf55d.jpg?v=1571610995 This your idea of a good old-fashioned Christmas — turkey pizza? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161224 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161224_mounted_42c741f1-8e05-4a7b-ac68-39fdf9c28c23.jpg?v=1571610995 I just heard the TV switch off. Santa's on his way! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161226 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161226_mounted_4fc152db-fa47-4dd1-9db0-7dac9af026dd.jpg?v=1571610995 You did very well on our IQ test! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161227 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161227_mounted_f1f1a5d7-1a35-40ad-ae2f-85f146e9b932.jpg?v=1571610996 I’m charging you a dollar for whatever it is you’ve got in your mouth. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161228 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161228_mounted_e678b7c5-19e9-4752-9f9b-61b55b30d850.jpg?v=1571610996 Take a seat. It’ll be about two days. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161229 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161229_mounted_7d4ad378-3589-4114-a6e3-470f39671caa.jpg?v=1571610996 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161230 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161230_mounted_6adf7e12-de69-4bd7-bfa9-022321da1c1b.jpg?v=1571610996 Columbus, will you sit down and stop asking all these dumb questions? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm161231 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm161231_mounted_f1f592a9-d004-4e4a-a9ef-631dba3f62f8.jpg?v=1571610996 I think he’s saying he wants a one-way ticket to Egypt. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170102 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170102_mounted_1ec96650-9290-4d49-9736-155593907966.jpg?v=1571610996 HARRY… HOW MUCH ARE THESE LAXATIVE PILLS? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170103 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170103_mounted_70039656-c647-4fed-9d49-1cdf7c8747a3.jpg?v=1571610996 I won’t have a table for 20 minutes. Here’s your soup. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170104 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170104_mounted_712659f6-019a-456a-b6d6-4cdf541b3a50.jpg?v=1571610996 You can’t be putting on weight already! You only quit smoking 20 minutes ago. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170105 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170105_mounted_cf1eed3e-c273-4043-85e1-c17875617eaa.jpg?v=1571610996 Why are you such a messy eater? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170106 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170106_mounted_9ea6a466-19f4-4dd6-bfa8-904de1225728.jpg?v=1571610996 Dobson, I’ve just figured out a way for you to personally save this company $2,000 a month. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170107 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170107_mounted_40037345-50da-4927-83a1-c6c3b8ed1cb5.jpg?v=1571610996 Why didn’t you say you wanted them both the same size? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170109 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170109_mounted_9d9c3322-2ef1-4314-9553-1840e14ca30f.jpg?v=1571610996 Gimme the keys to your company car! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170110 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170110_mounted_041a272f-7858-4492-9e46-7eda0ba98082.jpg?v=1571610996 First time I’ve seen gold-plated tools. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170111 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170111_mounted_acac721b-61ed-448d-94ad-cdf568754767.jpg?v=1571610996 I can’t find my ticket. Give me a nice blue one. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170112 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170112_mounted_6d0156e8-e810-4666-82d9-8439e5781f6e.jpg?v=1571610996 Would I be correct in assuming you don’t have experience as a plastic surgeon? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170113 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170113_mounted_922d677a-3a3c-4b4c-9c1e-32abe5640589.jpg?v=1571610996 She just waxed the floor. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170114 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170114_mounted_438d7d52-d137-42d0-82f5-050e0a65f82c.jpg?v=1571610996 Now whatever happens, hang on to those sandwiches! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170116 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170116_mounted_e7c24c43-11ba-4eb6-852c-8af5ac9cacc2.jpg?v=1571610996 I’ve told you a thousand times to get a new mattress. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170117 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170117_mounted_b4e67119-0383-4aee-9e54-913e0864e250.jpg?v=1571610996 I’d say you picked a bad time to fire your cook. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170118 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170118_mounted_464d5f06-1804-425a-b1be-908fb9b23482.jpg?v=1571610996 Are they playing overtime? You must be absolutely exhausted. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170119 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170119_mounted_ad95e779-513c-4065-bfca-acd098dd2593.jpg?v=1571610996 Is this the guy who’s been charged with impersonating a police officer? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170120 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170120_mounted_85cc2487-8b27-4bb9-acdf-5feebe8f3eca.jpg?v=1571610996 Is there a reverse switch on the drill? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170121 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170121_mounted_a9b92e3d-317e-40a1-b2e8-7e1574859dc8.jpg?v=1571610996 I wish you’d wear a hat in there. I’ve been looking all over for you. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170123 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170123_mounted_5743c675-4cf0-4f19-b7f4-f13b6ab44110.jpg?v=1571610996 Your sister’s had another kid. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170124 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170124_mounted_cb6db2bd-d046-4847-a1d2-47813b9f4a6c.jpg?v=1571610996 The management has gone on strike demanding we take a 10 percent pay cut. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170125 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170125_mounted_e6334756-64d3-4db8-aaa2-d57db6e16a5a.jpg?v=1571610996 You’ve got seven new fillings on the left side. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170126 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170126_mounted_8d9bbb07-1bba-46b0-a214-6358edd0c165.jpg?v=1571610996 What have you been feeding that parrot? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170127 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170127_mounted_d60ba715-9ec9-45c2-9ade-b15fbbb6ebf0.jpg?v=1571610997 Look at your best shirt. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170128 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170128_mounted_5ea1de3d-ee2e-459a-a819-dc864b24afa5.jpg?v=1571610997 How’s he feeling? I badly need a pair of kidneys. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170130 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170130_mounted_b0cf15bb-8a22-47f6-bdfa-84c5c2c42578.jpg?v=1571610997 Will you turn that fan down! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170131 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170131_mounted_aa1e592c-d980-4c69-9e9f-6b28d4673134.jpg?v=1571610997 It’s the barman’s little joke. First drink’s on the house. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170201 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170201_mounted_eec6cc00-9236-4e99-b9e9-5a2493d836c6.jpg?v=1571610997 Don’t tell me what it is until I’ve eaten it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170202 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170202_mounted_a3813ce7-2eab-425e-b250-6bb19fd2df52.jpg?v=1571610997 I had to shorten the pants quite a lot. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170203 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170203_mounted_62137f56-d990-4e38-9b3f-38477f4f6f42.jpg?v=1571610997 It’s your own fault for forgetting to buy cat food. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170204 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170204_mounted_a81472cf-5ad0-4ad9-9c94-d87e5622a4e7.jpg?v=1571610997 If you have to sneeze, do it during the lunchbreak. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170206 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170206_mounted_ab22cfc6-0557-4446-958f-f928156dcdbe.jpg?v=1571610997 He changed his mind about paying the electricity bill. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170207 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170207_mounted_2f6135b0-566d-4e65-a482-a9c9420553d1.jpg?v=1571610997 You left that back door open again. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170208 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170208_mounted_0cbcb7a3-c4a5-4bdc-a0cd-8f99a2e4bed2.jpg?v=1571610997 He can’t get used to your new hairpiece. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170209 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170209_mounted_56cdfb6a-0aa6-48eb-9fe4-2c45dc696df9.jpg?v=1571610997 Did you mean be home by 10 o’clock tonight or 10 o’clock tomorrow morning? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170210 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170210_mounted.jpg?v=1571610997 Apart from your neck, how are you feeling generally? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170213 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170213_mounted_107fe144-0ec7-49b3-a81c-28615b42d9e6.jpg?v=1571610997 It’s come to my attention that you own five cars and an ocean-going yacht. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170214 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170214_mounted_03fb288d-452a-43c8-944c-6cf70b3027a5.jpg?v=1571610997 Sandra, bring me a paper towel. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170215 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170215_mounted_5cac8c8a-433b-46de-8400-db3f4c16c460.jpg?v=1571610997 Forget about me meeting the willowy blonde! I just need the name of one horse. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170216 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170216_mounted_77c43b82-1a7b-4546-ad27-f16a7a590302.jpg?v=1571610997 Don’t blame the cat. What would you do if someone sat on you? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170218 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170218_mounted_784e4f58-0243-4464-8fd1-87dfc121f59b.jpg?v=1571610998 You here again? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170220 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170220_mounted_b6b4fe50-62fd-4c54-ba10-c41047be171b.jpg?v=1571610998 It’s still raining. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170221 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170221_mounted_6a62f5a7-effd-4f06-9aba-ba138c846524.jpg?v=1571610998 Just trim the sides and the back. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170222 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170222_mounted_0cb90f0d-321b-42af-8dec-d8fde07bcf03.jpg?v=1571610998 He’s glued his feet again. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170223 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170223_mounted_b2ba72d1-c9dd-40d8-806c-b9088bc698fb.jpg?v=1571610998 What do you mean, ‘Where’s the car?’ This is the car. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170225 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170225_mounted_d5767b42-edae-42ca-b811-7fbab0acb134.jpg?v=1571610998 What have you done to your hair? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170227 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170227_mounted_e69eeefc-de4d-4ffb-b057-ecb669b48c6a.jpg?v=1571610998 What are all these doing in the trunk of the car? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170228 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170228_mounted_71d43afa-d6a2-4d39-bdfe-15e48d42ad95.jpg?v=1571610998 Was the subway faster than taking the car? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170301 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170301_mounted_28d7a76a-7c93-4da0-90d2-693e869a4272.jpg?v=1571610998 Watch this! It’ll go in two bites. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170302 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170302_mounted_53076276-9a7a-4d35-97f3-e896f1a5826b.jpg?v=1571610998 Dr. Burns says you need two more appointments. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170303 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170303_mounted_00fe0ba3-336b-4a8d-91dc-f26467d2dade.jpg?v=1571610998 We’ve been after that one for 15 years. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170304 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170304_mounted_94e548f9-0766-4e92-892f-875df84bb6bb.jpg?v=1571610998 This is my first cruise. What’s the bell ringing for? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170306 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170306_mounted_6aa1c601-cec8-4280-98bc-b7d67cfa0257.jpg?v=1571610998 Here’s a guy who puts his mouth where his money is. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170307 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170307_mounted_e7bdb414-5b8e-4790-8b8b-9d4aebc107ee.jpg?v=1571610998 You must be crazy, driving 800 miles in one day. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170308 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170308_mounted_a1b641ed-ac03-4cc7-961e-4a637bbc276b.jpg?v=1571610998 I just bought this package of batteries and it says, ‘Batteries not included.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170309 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170309_mounted_f7d9be0b-b671-48f1-b1d0-13e7c9976789.jpg?v=1571610998 He gets uncomfortable meeting strangers. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170310 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170310_mounted_5c829d41-72ab-495a-aa07-164da72c8271.jpg?v=1571610998 Your green pills are all gone. Do you wanna take a blue and a yellow? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170311 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170311_mounted_dfeaafa3-2c87-48da-9218-833472b43421.jpg?v=1571610998 Is he allowed a plea of insanity for a parking ticket? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170313 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170313_mounted_088d821d-200b-4c91-85fe-e61a4f469a8b.jpg?v=1571610998 If he can’t talk how do you know his name is Ralph? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170314 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170314_mounted_515d75b7-58ad-427f-a291-eb5b2cfc64c9.jpg?v=1571610998 The basement’s full of soapy water. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170315 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170315_mounted_e509c854-32a4-471e-9284-0b6f59a728da.jpg?v=1571610998 The Japanese restaurant is next door. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170316 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170316_mounted_21b756e5-295c-4eb1-821e-bc191b01c7cd.jpg?v=1571610998 Hey! Do you wanna see a UFO? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170317 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170317_mounted_ec280f4a-7225-4bbf-8a12-cfe4937c713d.jpg?v=1571610998 One day you’ll realize that the people most capable of running the country are too smart to get into politics. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170318 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170318_mounted_429cabab-809c-476a-bb74-9439af3fec59.jpg?v=1571610998 My ball went in the hole! What shall I do now? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170320 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170320_mounted_d3c87b83-fca2-4438-8e41-e47bd0667784.jpg?v=1571610998 I’d tell your father, but he probably lent you the hat. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170321 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170321_mounted_c6b0a71b-a9cc-4e70-827b-4be8baaebd3a.jpg?v=1571610999 The police towed away the car, so I bought another one. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170322 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170322_mounted_ca6cfc3d-a649-4a10-a2e1-055627c8cdd4.jpg?v=1571610999 So it looks like a nice day tomorrow. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170323 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170323_mounted_1bc8c018-6cdc-4f16-b68f-4db871a7806b.jpg?v=1571610999 Nature is a great compensator. You’re probably a super mountain climber. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170324 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170324_mounted_932740f4-5daa-4d0f-a5dc-7548c894488a.jpg?v=1571610999 How many times have I told you not to snap your fingers while I’m extracting teeth under hypnosis? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170325 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170325_mounted_0752e560-99b4-42fa-9347-6a8f1bcc7ac1.jpg?v=1571610999 No, don’t switch it on; just explain the advantages over other insect repellents. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170327 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170327_mounted_10401183-c074-4662-a277-66cbc8475934.jpg?v=1571610999 We’ve got the same grandchildren! Are you my first husband Harold? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170328 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170328_mounted_eb4a6b8c-6940-4e81-8ac0-0b6cdfde7d46.jpg?v=1571610999 You should never try to fix an electric shaver. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170329 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170329_mounted_28ce47b7-f490-405f-8fe0-d1f86bbb4325.jpg?v=1571610999 It’s hardly sex discrimination just because I can’t picture you as a topless waitress. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170330 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170330_mounted_0857a702-bab2-4f72-a861-23e1e20ebc49.jpg?v=1571610999 Look at this birth certificate — it’s parchment. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170331 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170331_mounted_4ada30ef-2147-4aa3-9f1d-e90a54195dbf.jpg?v=1571610999 I can’t understand it! He just burst in and shot my violin. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170401 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170401_mounted_178bb870-04c7-4cb0-a125-1a3e6b4a37fe.jpg?v=1571610999 Drop it! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170403 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170403_mounted_59bf624e-db75-459f-a7f2-ba1efbf39e36.jpg?v=1571610999 Sorry, I thought you were someone else. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170404 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170404_mounted_aa4e1220-46e7-4748-a48e-542594dd5cdd.jpg?v=1571610999 Did you mean for it to go in the lake? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170405 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170405_mounted_7ac32677-48bc-4510-9d81-7424c09769ef.jpg?v=1571610999 What does the Guinness Book of Records say about dishing out long sentences? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170406 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170406_mounted_a8c6820d-58de-406f-8f61-436047e818ac.jpg?v=1571610999 You’d better quit eating fish for a while. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170407 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170407_mounted_3200ccdc-b4ea-4bdf-9bac-0b5ba42da451.jpg?v=1571610999 He’s not walking backwards; you’ve got the leash on the wrong end! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170408 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170408_mounted_b8f976f0-fc3c-4502-92e8-1c5296762724.jpg?v=1571610999 How much do I owe you so far? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170410 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170410_mounted_751d7a9c-cd0b-4e57-abf1-fd6ea60f6562.jpg?v=1571610999 If you miss a payment, I press this button and the unit self-destructs. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170411 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170411_mounted_9ef3e0b3-2559-42f9-a5b6-626394125036.jpg?v=1571610999 Make sure this one doesn’t leave before he pays his bill. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170412 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170412_mounted_a0bd83e3-f3c1-4d27-8ea5-0f4c4f8d95e4.jpg?v=1571610999 Take my advice: Get yourself a good strong woman and don’t worry about looks! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170413 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170413_mounted_24ad93b6-ff83-46dd-a9ab-7c043b80e8c1.jpg?v=1571610999 From your X-ray, I’d say you eat too fast. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170414 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170414_mounted_757db10b-add4-454a-9e69-26c77beacdd7.jpg?v=1571611000 I’m sorry! I guess I didn’t see the sign. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170415 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170415_mounted_48a4d1a2-b0fe-41ae-b299-74efb9b24f2e.jpg?v=1571611000 Mr. and Mrs. Roberts to see you, Doctor. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170417 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170417_mounted_63d38e7d-d1ce-4071-a969-4da438cd6d7e.jpg?v=1571611000 There’s an elephant on TV and she’s throwing peanuts at it! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170418 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170418_mounted_f841e570-f57a-4fac-996c-c3864df2d172.jpg?v=1571611000 If I find out you’re faking, there’ll be no ‘yummies’ for a week. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170419 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170419_mounted_392ba403-6de9-48c5-9154-370f72f0380a.jpg?v=1571611000 Got a room with a balcony? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170420 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170420_mounted_72da1803-1624-49e6-95d7-b24ee0448ccd.jpg?v=1571611000 They say behind every successful man there’s a woman. Here’s a picture of my wife. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170421 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170421_mounted_5d758181-fba5-4dfc-a227-85666835cb76.jpg?v=1571611000 He’s here now! Seal off the building. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170422 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170422_mounted_c2649d84-e810-4c61-a7c1-60d4eb236000.jpg?v=1571611000 Take your time. The plane doesn’t leave for 3 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170424 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170424_mounted_2514cdaf-60c8-4dc1-903a-b905ae754669.jpg?v=1571611000 Don’t stand too close; you’ll make them homesick! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170425 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170425_mounted_aca647b1-6955-43d4-9960-8d50ae26d273.jpg?v=1571611000 Eat up! There’s no sense getting a load of dishes dirty. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170426 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170426_mounted_37ecd116-ee56-4b66-a753-c919dee0bc1c.jpg?v=1571611000 It wasn’t three somersaults. It was two and a half! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170427 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170427_mounted_0ad2443b-f4a7-4310-bf65-5ff60f203888.jpg?v=1571611000 I know the runny green stuff is potato. What’s the black gravel? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170428 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170428_mounted_890e6367-1f60-46c6-87ec-215d33d60f3b.jpg?v=1571611000 I’m not sure but you may have the wrong one. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170429 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170429_mounted_f383d948-694f-4574-808e-b9aa204cdf43.jpg?v=1571611000 How are you gonna get to work when it’s not windy? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170501 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170501_mounted_e4bedd05-d9a5-435d-83f6-057bab7aff62.jpg?v=1571611000 Is this too skimpy for the beach? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170502 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170502_mounted_a878279a-f39c-43da-ba88-5948c80f8c6d.jpg?v=1571611000 You’re taking a chance, wearing that dress in this neighborhood. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170503 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170503_mounted_9398e703-ab20-4a2d-b066-a9004710556c.jpg?v=1571611000 This the guy who was stung by a bee? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170504 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170504_mounted_fbe6592c-ffca-4c36-a482-4c78263e664c.jpg?v=1571611000 Got any discarded clothing? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170505 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170505_mounted_93a581ac-4d97-427f-83f6-a6084616a1f2.jpg?v=1571611000 I think you’re jumping to conclusions. A lot of people love carrots. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170506 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170506_mounted_ce322e75-2611-4807-be9e-1a57cad64896.jpg?v=1571611000 If it’s convenient, sir, I’ll be on strike from 2 till 4 p.m. for a pay raise. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170508 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170508_mounted_645b59e2-4c7f-4e15-ba40-bfcbebf83ef4.jpg?v=1571611000 Is it the meatloaf again? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170509 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170509_mounted_155f3651-080a-4782-b65b-771d10b74b6e.jpg?v=1571611000 There are two bedrooms on this floor. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170510 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170510_mounted_fc619004-41a3-4ecf-acc0-880e251132b7.jpg?v=1571611000 Did you tell him ‘Babylon’ was a race horse who liked to run on the outside? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170511 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170511_mounted_0f3c6300-640b-45a8-a312-616218f65542.jpg?v=1571611000 Oh boy! A whole dollar. I hope it doesn’t spoil me. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170512 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170512_mounted_5f5c1059-836c-408c-8c99-389a79e949b9.jpg?v=1571611000 Wake up. The cat’s got your teeth. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170513 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170513_mounted_2f145ff2-69d7-4519-a955-191b6ed2a88e.jpg?v=1571611000 You’re supposed to rub it on your head, not drink it! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170515 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170515_mounted_a605f31c-add2-4fb6-866b-3d988f6ad75a.jpg?v=1571611001 In some parts of the world, whole villages could live on your food intake. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170516 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170516_mounted_c999bf8f-bdd1-4209-a664-3a26a4c7eb19.jpg?v=1571611001 Get down. I’m knitting this stuff for the girl next door. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170517 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170517_mounted_1fe0fcb7-7882-4946-9137-f7fab1c0201a.jpg?v=1571611001 Don’t ask questions. Just see if my umbrella’s under the sink. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170518 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170518_mounted_bfbc00fc-a45b-437a-bd1f-a88df9879bc1.jpg?v=1571611001 Say ‘cheese.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170519 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170519_mounted_fe642eb4-c53a-41fc-a4ab-a1aded320b2c.jpg?v=1571611001 Don’t you ever rinse my shirts when you wash them? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170520 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170520_mounted_2ed6ae47-f7ba-4396-a196-d74898b93f0c.jpg?v=1571611001 Don’t be a grouch. He’s been waiting all day for you to smoke that. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170522 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170522_mounted_c18d91fe-0caf-4221-bf7d-a9b9e9cd2db9.jpg?v=1571611001 Now snore. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170523 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170523_mounted_ca9454bf-e43b-46da-8d4e-dda66f25b8b5.jpg?v=1571611001 They won’t come near me since I gave them some of my wife’s homemade cake. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170524 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170524_mounted_18f9040c-94a3-469d-88e0-25a2c8d4d721.jpg?v=1571611001 Left home without your money, did you? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170525 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170525_mounted_6101cc47-fd36-471e-90c5-2e2378becba4.jpg?v=1571611001 You say you were hunting a bear when it jammed? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170526 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170526_mounted_d2bb4c5f-33b6-47d0-b798-3c7ed3d97dc1.jpg?v=1571611001 The computer is demanding a complete service overhaul every six months and two weeks off in August. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170527 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170527_mounted_5c160931-3b9d-4fe9-8241-e6f0677dc36c.jpg?v=1571611001 Look at the bottle of perfume he bought me for my birthday! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170529 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170529_mounted_2d306d27-cb8f-4283-a487-fc24ea3208f3.jpg?v=1571611001 It says: ‘Due to rising costs, all wishes are now two dollars.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170530 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170530_mounted_14fc17be-0500-4172-99e1-88b6ddbcfa1f.jpg?v=1571611001 Here’s your pizza! We ran out of boxes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170531 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170531_mounted_413bfec1-107f-46a2-a3d5-a5de8bc602e8.jpg?v=1571611001 She couldn’t change a $20 bill. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170601 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170601_mounted_01f8afae-f51c-495c-bf45-a118db5bf65f.jpg?v=1571611001 Your best bet is reincarnation. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170602 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170602_mounted_d1a7da47-ab6d-4d16-a5eb-733b00f506de.jpg?v=1571611001 Feeling better? I made you a spaghetti sandwich. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170603 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170603_mounted_f369395e-b31d-4aa3-9f4f-f5c2932cb371.jpg?v=1571611001 I gotta get new glasses! I thought that was a big duck. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170605 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170605_mounted_5a9ff30c-827c-4c1a-881f-4c31f150bcb2.jpg?v=1571611001 I really appreciate the visit, Ralph, but you’re sitting on my broken leg. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170606 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170606_mounted_6a6a51fd-628c-4397-99ef-fc83e238ac24.jpg?v=1571611001 I still say we should tunnel. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170607 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170607_mounted_2cbfea23-01bd-44df-80d2-1dbcfd249510.jpg?v=1571611001 Congratulations, Mrs. Parker. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170608 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170608_mounted_adbbabe8-2fa2-4e04-8051-4aedd1afc0b5.jpg?v=1571611001 Boy, that takes me back! I haven’t seen a suit like that for 30 years. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170609 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170609_mounted_2b75a266-a7f8-48cc-8d96-3e4039d714dc.jpg?v=1571611001 I always knew there was something different about you, Charlie. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170610 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170610_mounted_8ae9cd11-56ae-4781-89b6-2242ce7dac03.jpg?v=1571611001 I think we’ll stay away from the jumbo burger! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170612 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170612_mounted_93d220a5-10a3-4d64-893b-98d16be997ce.jpg?v=1571611001 I wouldn’t pay $4 admission to look at you! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170613 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170613_mounted_dd056730-5bda-429f-b239-db0ad8ddf837.jpg?v=1571611001 I never have any luck with living things. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170614 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170614_mounted_c1a8c867-51a1-4540-a385-b73ae124f51e.jpg?v=1571611002 Hey, Bill. Bill! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170615 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170615_mounted_98301481-0fbd-4e2e-b3cf-095163351487.jpg?v=1571611002 Don’t you people ever feed these animals? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170616 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170616_mounted_8bb77769-f4d9-4603-b00f-135588128e34.jpg?v=1571611002 Got any spare fuses? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170617 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170617_mounted_363288bd-1eff-4ec2-98cd-e016a26df441.jpg?v=1571611002 Read it yourself! It says, ‘Dozen eggs, bread, milk, chocolate chip cookies.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170619 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170619_mounted_2ba7f685-31f2-406c-b496-db1911450a55.jpg?v=1571611002 Charlie, can you fix four flat tires? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170620 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170620_mounted_c0223892-ca24-4709-914c-37882391b0a2.jpg?v=1571611002 I don’t think you’re supposed to eat the little umbrella. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170621 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170621_mounted_c9423fc3-7644-4343-b630-3cb1489a6cb2.jpg?v=1571611002 I know you; your wife put you up to this! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170622 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170622_mounted_ca7f7218-b845-44c2-9302-c0498f34b750.jpg?v=1571611002 First you buy me a new coat and now a trip to Lion Safari Park. What’s got into you lately? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170623 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170623_mounted_0c1aa0c2-5850-40b4-8e59-3e3c4d4d02db.jpg?v=1571611002 I know you wanted a package of fish sticks! This is all they had. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170624 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170624_mounted_f39d4814-d7d1-489e-b09e-66bc00a29798.jpg?v=1571611002 I don’t know what it was, but it sure could run. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170626 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170626_mounted_ed079080-9d5b-4b64-a05f-7922064dc7b0.jpg?v=1571611002 D’you want a wake-up call, sir? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170627 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170627_mounted_b901ceb1-a2cf-42c0-976f-cdd2b80eae93.jpg?v=1571611002 Have you seen a pair of brown gloves? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170628 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170628_mounted_d73e5c0c-6d61-4d33-9ccf-de0243dbeb49.jpg?v=1571611002 Must you watch television when my sister’s here? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170629 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170629_mounted_d5375122-35dc-4ca8-92ab-bc6bd0ff72f1.jpg?v=1571611002 We had a tough time getting that stain out. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170630 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170630_mounted_bfdf80e4-5df1-4861-8806-31a92a3484a1.jpg?v=1571611002 What do you think? Do I look better in the wider horns? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170701 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170701_mounted_84fd420d-a6e7-4736-9535-488b98501507.jpg?v=1571611002 Twenty bucks a week on makeup, and he’s the best you can come up with? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170703 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170703_mounted_9c841d4d-46ee-49b9-ade9-5aba889e7df7.jpg?v=1571611002 I thought I told you to take your jacket off. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170704 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170704_mounted_050e52dd-6c05-4c67-97f8-af70af3d1148.jpg?v=1571611002 It’s not mashed potatoes. The french fries fell on the floor. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170705 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170705_mounted_aa4cb98f-2f6f-48e4-a337-535410654b54.jpg?v=1571611002 This one’s called, ‘Bowl of Fruit on Very High Table.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170706 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170706_mounted_ec62d689-a9c0-42a7-aedf-b53b2ce307a3.jpg?v=1571611002 What are you hiding behind your back? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170707 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170707_mounted_6be4b598-fba3-42d5-bf90-b3aeada1e8f0.jpg?v=1571611002 That’s 10 rings. Shall we try for 11? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170708 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170708_mounted_40cb3c77-e3d4-46bd-ae33-80915e5f04e2.jpg?v=1571611002 Just imagine yourself gliding down the sidewalk. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170710 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170710_mounted_bb3a9167-c3d6-4775-a188-bc1856e4acba.jpg?v=1571611002 You can’t be ‘half-and-half.’ You’re either ‘guilty’ or ‘not guilty.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170711 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170711_mounted_0f39b573-8f82-4e3a-b8f6-a339701fe70b.jpg?v=1571611002 You left your wallet at the fish shop! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170712 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170712_mounted_677be806-7502-456e-8b6b-7542458c9b06.jpg?v=1571611002 D’you mind showing me what you have in this pocket? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170713 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170713_mounted_7f4f3a6e-d533-4e66-b0c8-31ae6ba1b841.jpg?v=1571611003 What are you, a wise guy? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170714 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170714_mounted_01727985-f37d-4f34-96f2-16febcb9f887.jpg?v=1571611003 That guy gave us three ice cream cones for Dad’s camera. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170715 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170715_mounted_163ae8ce-b70b-4cd7-b6d1-f53e8eb83ef1.jpg?v=1571611003 My mother mustn’t know! I told her you’d run off with your secretary. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170717 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170717_mounted_1d8666bb-d497-44be-b990-64579da67b16.jpg?v=1571611003 What do you do in your spare time? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170718 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170718_mounted_ad4407a8-cca2-4242-be13-30dea8e0216f.jpg?v=1571611003 It’s my new invention. Talk to your mother for an hour on this and it will heat the whole house for a month! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170719 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170719_mounted_331060cb-1409-436d-ac86-e12fe7086ae9.jpg?v=1571611003 Every time you press that buzzer, just remember that I’m the one who’ll be taking out your stitches. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170720 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170720_mounted_1ff39abb-10ea-441a-bdf3-a6f3d7885086.jpg?v=1571611003 I’m NOT going to the dentist. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170721 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170721_mounted_29bb1461-0c03-410d-bb71-6d5ae5e13bf2.jpg?v=1571611003 CUCKOO. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170722 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170722_mounted_46b3f341-68f4-4d6e-a284-887f020cd1f7.jpg?v=1571611003 I hear you have a room to rent. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170724 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170724_mounted_3772bfbd-37e4-41f0-a240-89a521c95c2f.jpg?v=1571611003 We forgot the food! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170725 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170725_mounted_879960d6-863f-47b9-bb8b-0784e9602655.jpg?v=1571611003 Where have you been? You’re last! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170726 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170726_mounted_5add8de9-a270-40a1-94f1-b0b086a42260.jpg?v=1571611003 I don’t know what you’re eating, but you gave the dog a can of spaghetti sauce! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170727 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170727_mounted_7a5d355b-b019-4373-8265-08081834cfed.jpg?v=1571611003 What did you do to Dad’s chair? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170728 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170728_mounted_b61946d1-b01c-4621-855d-8e044e83c81e.jpg?v=1571611003 I see you bought a new dog. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170729 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170729_mounted_e849afe8-8af5-4ddf-9d29-1da8c1b4bc74.jpg?v=1571611003 It’s not my fault we’re short of beds. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170731 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170731_mounted_63f048b2-9f00-4fe8-966e-80d2d4b9e76c.jpg?v=1571611003 Have you seen my pantyhose anywhere? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170801 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170801_mounted_8c29831e-7493-46f5-9686-5ce729d6b421.jpg?v=1571611003 I told you I wanted an iPad for my birthday! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170802 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170802_mounted_b383b2cd-c1cb-4df4-983e-53502b45abbf.jpg?v=1571611003 What would you give someone who’s giving you a bowling ball? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170803 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170803_mounted_f0fb14b3-9043-4c62-bf5c-8e71c47d58d2.jpg?v=1571611003 Why do you always wear one sock in bed? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170804 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170804_mounted_f8ef4f68-da7d-48e4-b1fb-4b387186473f.jpg?v=1571611003 He’ll never find the cigars, will he, Dad? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170805 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170805_mounted_82733377-c22c-4576-802b-11fc77e7602a.jpg?v=1571611004 Don’t tell me I’m getting HIM. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170807 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170807_mounted_54379ac8-7197-455a-976f-dcf1983fd499.jpg?v=1571611004 PUT THAT BACK. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170808 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170808_mounted_39c5e1a7-1ff5-478f-9670-d8632e3b9418.jpg?v=1571611004 The kitchen’s on fire again. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170809 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170809_mounted_fe720145-ca57-4515-bab8-902c0ff6a931.jpg?v=1571611004 You’re not supposed to THROW it! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170810 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170810_mounted_82d1a8f1-676f-4546-a55a-4e457fbc2bf5.jpg?v=1571611004 Can you identify the man who punched you in the knee? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170811 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170811_mounted_6615f6e2-f814-4c1a-8200-70e3bcce32e9.jpg?v=1571611004 Harry, quick, get over here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170812 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170812_mounted_3dd049e4-5f15-4f88-96ca-2bb885b5823d.jpg?v=1571611004 At least she’s trying to communicate. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170814 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170814_mounted_9611901f-6ddd-48f4-8b12-fbd06f04a338.jpg?v=1571611004 This shouldn’t take too long! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170815 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170815_mounted_7edcf532-31ed-4bfa-82e3-ca02d0b6de12.jpg?v=1571611004 By the time we get in there, all the monkeys will be worn out! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170816 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170816_mounted_c9733a42-cd7f-49f1-9f28-50a45ef6dd0a.jpg?v=1571611004 I’ll give you my car and stereo if we call it off. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170817 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170817_mounted_c167265a-23d8-4139-8e08-93637b329514.jpg?v=1571611004 I don’t know why I bother cooking for you! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170818 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170818_mounted_89fe32ec-a76b-47d2-b2ab-15a7d34535a5.jpg?v=1571611004 I’ve only got 5 cents. I’ll have one big bite of this. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170819 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170819_mounted_193066bb-ed6a-4655-bdf4-4729bc7af8fd.jpg?v=1571611004 Keep it up! He’s getting overconfident. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170821 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170821_mounted_53bcfe25-1aee-4295-be1c-d5f81e26fc9b.jpg?v=1571611004 Got change for a quarter so I can leave this guy a tip? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170822 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170822_mounted_7ab7d5b5-c185-4de3-9e7c-b0d9d45c996e.jpg?v=1571611004 Can you change $400 worth of quarters? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170823 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170823_mounted_855c6b8e-b876-4cc0-bdd1-9b8e1d3c1070.jpg?v=1571611004 Come down here. You’ve ruined my plant. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170824 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170824_mounted_4d4a8388-e9f1-4fb9-9f7c-62aedf0097db.jpg?v=1571611004 It’s on sale this week for $15,000. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170825 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170825_mounted_1ea303df-277a-4834-ae89-e6c837577369.jpg?v=1571611004 Which finger is it? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170826 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170826_mounted_a6e67634-7d75-4698-ab9f-049052af0b57.jpg?v=1571611004 This book you sold me, ‘There’s One Born Every Minute’ is just blank pages! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170828 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170828_mounted_8b7791d8-511e-4bc5-b770-0adef769a048.jpg?v=1571611004 Sorry about your eye. Did you see where the ball went? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170829 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170829_mounted_f4010620-9014-42a9-a300-4a99ff670d29.jpg?v=1571611004 You see, son, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170830 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170830_mounted_d8b6b889-9a4f-4d28-950c-5a6a77557c0b.jpg?v=1571611004 Nurse, run outside and get his shoe. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170831 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170831_mounted_0bd26692-b418-445d-a64d-4e772943d905.jpg?v=1571611005 That’s our pen! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170901 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170901_mounted_e86051fe-cab3-4457-93e0-1d6ce61a8502.jpg?v=1571611005 He watched a heart transplant on TV three days ago, and he’s still recovering. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170902 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170902_mounted_d604b904-db85-41f3-bca7-162b04478475.jpg?v=1571611005 Keep your eyes open. Two prisoners are missing! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170904 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170904_mounted_70927856-4148-4832-a9d1-8fc9dc028d1c.jpg?v=1571611005 Twelve glasses of milk and cookies. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170905 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170905_mounted_879fdfde-3f39-4c37-8174-0ead42cfb5d6.jpg?v=1571611005 He will! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170906 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170906_mounted_1c856861-450e-4793-ab2e-e2cce93c6261.jpg?v=1571611005 Your boss said you can have your job back when you get out if you tell him where the $50,000 is. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170907 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170907_mounted_9992249a-da0e-472e-bdf4-8b99aa952df0.jpg?v=1571611005 D’you want the movie, or shall we watch the news and have a good laugh? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170908 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170908_mounted_cdd20fb0-6e37-408c-8e37-e6a6e4be8f85.jpg?v=1571611005 BIGFOOT! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170909 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170909_mounted_08cc24d4-ee87-4b7e-8c84-e7ed5a8254e8.jpg?v=1571611005 The rabbits are eating all his carrots. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170912 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170912_mounted_7efc78d6-d2fc-4c63-a1e3-5e5c942b39a3.jpg?v=1571611005 Gotcha! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170913 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170913_mounted_13c3ed5e-bdd9-49de-a1fb-274819d1d387.jpg?v=1571611005 I had to give your sausages a shot with the fire extinguisher. Do you still want to eat them? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170914 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170914_mounted_01d3895a-a8ee-45f3-9477-8f8948d3c8e7.jpg?v=1571611005 The soup of the day is gone. How about the soup of tomorrow? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170915 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170915_mounted_0965c350-1010-473f-a9cf-c0d0a0e23668.jpg?v=1571611005 What do I have to do to get some service around here? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170916 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170916_mounted_371b9f9a-5ce1-4d21-848a-4579b76e9c87.jpg?v=1571611005 I would also like to thank my tropical fish for being there when I needed them. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170918 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170918_mounted_0f1e1d3e-fe42-4089-983d-1ccb0508723e.jpg?v=1571611005 I’ve been looking for that! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170919 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170919_mounted_9422fb75-92f1-484e-81f6-01e1d8168306.jpg?v=1571611005 Relax, I’ve got to test your stomach muscles. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170920 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170920_mounted_cb9629fb-5b90-4981-a09a-912c2be65e54.jpg?v=1571611005 Grandpa, I can’t remember which one is yours. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170921 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170921_mounted_f5004d2d-8ff4-48b7-acba-9013bea70d13.jpg?v=1571611005 Throw them farther! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170922 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170922_mounted_26539d76-38a4-4a96-8498-f8a257ce58a2.jpg?v=1571611006 I know how you feel! I missed a 2-inch putt once. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170923 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170923_mounted_c078fac6-971d-442f-b657-caf4a3026b19.jpg?v=1571611006 I can't remember if we locked the door. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170925 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170925_mounted_170ac762-5980-4ac8-891c-2333cf086b5f.jpg?v=1571611006 I’m not keen on this big sponge. All the bathwater’s gone! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170926 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170926_mounted_5869480e-3387-4b4b-a5da-924b165ca167.jpg?v=1571611006 Your birthday’s next week. D’you want a surprise party? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170927 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170927_mounted_b296d5c9-b17c-4838-ac14-ca36ef2c9ee1.jpg?v=1571611006 I guessed you weren’t from around here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170928 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170928_mounted_4f747f91-e07d-4d6d-96f2-ca3ccc7f1583.jpg?v=1571611006 It’s my ex-boyfriend. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170929 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170929_mounted_64f58b93-039b-467e-a349-c8ddcc5ae75b.jpg?v=1571611006 Have you decided? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170930 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170930_mounted_28b9171d-da02-43f3-a9a6-5c56453159e2.jpg?v=1571611006 Do you think I should let my hair grow longer? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171002 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171002_mounted_b2ff1b61-5f84-4315-add0-ad5b143af754.jpg?v=1571611006 Snarl. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171003 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171003_mounted_dda64240-9a4e-44c0-889b-b0058f90c439.jpg?v=1571611006 Blackie! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171004 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171004_mounted_91f8aabf-d934-42c4-b7cf-6231a3827dea.jpg?v=1571611006 I want a book on speed-reading and 85 novels. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171005 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171005_mounted_1b5bdcb2-80b8-47a4-ba28-bb1da66e3dbe.jpg?v=1571611006 Buzz off! You’re not getting any. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171006 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171006_mounted_3fdeaf54-6ec8-4ca6-a19e-c3a9a78b12eb.jpg?v=1571611006 I think he’s gonna make it. Let’s go! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171007 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171007_mounted_57dc956e-e02c-4b7e-bd99-e2caaf23ba72.jpg?v=1571611006 He’ll be OK for an hour. Let’s go to lunch. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171009 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171009_mounted_e5e88bb9-5a67-4d3a-8d10-d94638d7cd2b.jpg?v=1571611006 Don’t let them see the frying pan! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171010 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171010_mounted_02ca8045-a8e4-4fa1-a0e3-8d04c6b7dfa8.jpg?v=1571611006 Your shoes are marking the rug! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171011 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171011_mounted_b739fcec-cfec-41e3-90bd-79d1b07610cc.jpg?v=1571611007 I just moved in next door. Where do you keep your lawn mower? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171012 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171012_mounted_de8abd0e-7ea8-4003-bef3-74d8a08f5e66.jpg?v=1571611007 He’ll be back soon. He’s gone for a cherry split. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171013 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171013_mounted_8132af28-7f45-4bf9-9f77-353ca66c6c6f.jpg?v=1571611007 I’d better go now, Snookums. I’m with a patient. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171014 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171014_mounted_dc55e7bc-7cd5-4823-99cb-d2b60d6be1e2.jpg?v=1571611007 We don’t usually accept first-grade students until they’re five years old. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171016 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171016_mounted_73ca35aa-4656-4dca-adca-52b7f5dd3c5a.jpg?v=1571611007 I climbed it because it was here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171018 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171018_mounted_aa41d9e4-f04e-41a6-ba37-cd51e7a30a84.jpg?v=1571611007 D’you want smokers or non-smokers? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171020 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171020_mounted_fec94a2f-8f0a-446a-80b8-76a50f4c4e1a.jpg?v=1571611007 My mistake. I’m supposed to rub it on your chest. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171021 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171021_mounted_2e1c8049-1976-4a58-b2b3-8976bf6de153.jpg?v=1571611007 What’s my new sewing machine doing in the middle of the card table? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171023 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171023_mounted_947d31e2-2fd2-49cb-a9d3-2665b19eca9a.jpg?v=1571611007 Even I can paint better than that! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171024 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171024_mounted_6d7fe53a-1707-4035-b167-9817922a9c45.jpg?v=1571611007 Have you seen the latest electric model? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171025 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171025_mounted_136ab0dd-4ad4-42ce-9f1d-a9a60bd7b7b1.jpg?v=1571611007 I’d say it’s your gall bladder, but if you insist on a second opinion, I’ll say kidneys. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171026 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171026_mounted_9b80b9c0-fa0b-4762-b9bb-1a3351fbdf01.jpg?v=1571611007 Do you want the book of instructions? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171027 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171027_mounted_ef48969f-19ba-4924-a9b9-61c815f46c95.jpg?v=1571611007 You won’t be losing a daughter. We’re going to live here! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171028 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171028_mounted_7b709402-30eb-4862-83ed-7f7a76e4807c.jpg?v=1571611007 What’s disaster of the day’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171030 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171030_mounted_11147ef8-da8d-4ab6-8fd8-6b42507d8a89.jpg?v=1571611007 SIT! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171031 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171031_mounted_955a0094-6737-4847-9fcb-b3e941d06017.jpg?v=1571611007 They ALWAYS go on the warpath when we’re eating! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171101 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171101_mounted_4cf9793c-4ef4-4eab-a9c8-4f577188aa5b.jpg?v=1571611007 Have you given any thought to my pay raise? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171102 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171102_mounted_b15d3a75-c42d-43df-b8b0-62b0f6a1cd19.jpg?v=1571611007 He never said that! I saw your lips move. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171103 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171103_mounted_1377ecf8-bac7-404f-93de-d3f80669a10a.jpg?v=1571611007 Are they the new shoes you bought for $10? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171104 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171104_mounted_a55c9dba-2222-4727-b406-f9bca80eb54c.jpg?v=1571611008 Is that the dress you wore on our honeymoon? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171106 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171106_mounted_f6f083dc-b7af-49ab-a771-d8bf6fc73a34.jpg?v=1571611008 D’you want a dessert or coffee? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171107 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171107_mounted_6f2c9dff-a9fa-4845-a68f-7236c98cc2ca.jpg?v=1571611008 We ran out of wineglasses. You’ll have to sit closer together. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171108 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171108_mounted_5750ab65-b596-4b24-86cf-e0f770d6ada0.jpg?v=1571611008 I want you to take a half-hour walk, every day, 10 minutes before lunch. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171109 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171109_mounted_0995778c-8d2a-4b90-80a7-47c100bfb4e7.jpg?v=1571611008 I came in third! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171110 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171110_mounted_b17d8243-d883-473e-b667-503219e935c3.jpg?v=1571611008 Wanna buy a toothbrush? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171111 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171111_mounted_c62ad4c0-255a-4b87-bbab-dd5dc6531cee.jpg?v=1571611008 Dad, do I get my allowance or not? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171113 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171113_mounted_129f8843-80e2-4ef4-a161-7a7466c80a72.jpg?v=1571611008 I told you it was a dog movie! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171114 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171114_mounted_398b911d-d53d-4394-9230-363287eb2621.jpg?v=1571611008 You told me on the phone that you were a six-footer! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171115 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171115_mounted_f631a5fb-7d9d-4592-bcbf-ac43765932c5.jpg?v=1571611008 My bus leaves in two minutes and I intend to be on it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171116 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171116_mounted_768f8140-771e-42a8-ab51-f227cf4602a8.jpg?v=1571611008 Which one of you is General Smith? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171117 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171117_mounted_4ac0e18c-25f4-46b9-88e4-587f5dc7f3bf.jpg?v=1571611008 Can we have our horseshoe back? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171118 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171118_mounted_3c1c8501-055a-4f54-9bd2-64409d69c71b.jpg?v=1571611008 It was a great party, Ralph. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171120 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171120_mounted_8deeca8a-56b4-4cb6-bcbd-b0102b0cb357.jpg?v=1571611008 What exactly is a genetic engineer? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171121 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171121_mounted_a4f1cba0-67d6-4f28-a651-0c934c222ba4.jpg?v=1571611008 Got any books with nice, big, color pictures in them, suitable for framing? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171122 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171122_mounted_f4adaf4a-5e6f-4b13-8c15-989f8677b0fc.jpg?v=1571611008 We haven’t seen a duck for two hours! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171123 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171123_mounted_973064ea-bebd-45f2-b997-aa106e494554.jpg?v=1571611008 How come you don't go fishing anymore? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171124 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171124_mounted_d38bac5e-ade5-4537-bdb4-9380ec8dac2d.jpg?v=1571611008 I think we’ll get out of here before the cowboy movie starts. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171125 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171125_mounted_2648dc28-22e2-4a09-bcf9-41757d922422.jpg?v=1571611009 Have a good vacation, Wilson? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171127 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171127_mounted_d68375a5-5873-44c5-826a-a31eb333c41d.jpg?v=1571611009 Maybe we should park somewhere else. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171128 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171128_mounted_ed4ee96f-55d7-423a-bb22-e6d7ccc0adf3.jpg?v=1571611009 I was lucky I hit the pin! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171129 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171129_mounted_7fc773fc-8bf2-4e47-875c-c10473276a89.jpg?v=1571611009 I don’t know what this is, but it’s new and improved, so it must be good! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171130 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171130_mounted_8fec9b83-02b8-4eb1-a1af-5082d948b960.jpg?v=1571611009 I can’t stand the sight of blood. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171201 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171201_mounted_3a8ad5ed-14c1-4664-b5c0-8e3a091a2dc0.jpg?v=1571611009 We’ll take a brief pause for this important commercial message. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171202 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171202_mounted_3328f40f-b23a-4a52-b754-4913cb100ea5.jpg?v=1571611009 I taped the cat breathing. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171204 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171204_mounted_e7782646-2669-44f5-bc74-521648df3950.jpg?v=1571611009 Do you mind keeping the noise down! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171205 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171205_mounted_e0f07eba-adac-4c21-b21f-74e95571a692.jpg?v=1571611009 I don’t care if we have been married fifteen years, I’m not buying any brushes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171206 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171206_mounted_0f955947-98bc-4b29-b7a9-92200b4d92b1.jpg?v=1571611009 It’s stopped! But I think it’ll start up again. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171207 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171207_mounted_70ca36f6-64fe-4594-95d9-29506c2927e5.jpg?v=1571611009 Now what? There’s nothing else to invent. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171208 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171208_mounted_9cdfd9aa-4150-4c45-a127-87020874f36b.jpg?v=1571611009 Maybe we should have checked the neighborhood more closely before moving in! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171209 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171209_mounted_71bfb1a4-22ef-4d72-8ec3-7c74898c3115.jpg?v=1571611009 I’ve got some matches somewhere. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171211 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171211_mounted_5d3be2fb-ba41-47df-b484-4c57f85c5b7d.jpg?v=1571611009 Mr. Soames here is the best teacher we have. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171212 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171212_mounted_0ecea0a1-e960-460e-81ff-0e4cb49b6c42.jpg?v=1571611009 Don’t forget, Buster. If it wasn’t for me and Frankie you’d be paying a lot more income tax. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171213 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171213_mounted_585c11f5-9523-4693-91eb-d431da5eb754.jpg?v=1571611009 Is the lady coming back, sir? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171214 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171214_mounted_424f046f-2c42-4b5e-9c16-0ca513f0a081.jpg?v=1571611010 You’ve been practicing for an hour and you’ve only hit it once. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171215 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171215_mounted_8ca706d8-eb5f-4612-892d-c925961a52e1.jpg?v=1571611010 You here again, Carole?! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171216 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171216_mounted_c1988b85-eaec-4a2c-8f70-2f5a4f9caaa1.jpg?v=1571611010 Listen, I'll take anything except clothes and shoes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171218 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171218_mounted_c5004c0b-6fdd-4920-b097-9ef324e004f3.jpg?v=1571611010 You must have got it wet! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171219 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171219_mounted_4ee1b06e-d38a-4e6f-ba69-5f33e9ff9729.jpg?v=1571611010 If you want to see something ‘real cheap’, take a look in this mirror. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171220 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171220_mounted_38d672b4-4e4a-4b86-84d7-bfb543d3ff08.jpg?v=1571611010 What do you mean, the lesson’s over? I’ve got another 20 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171221 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171221_mounted_32b48a01-773e-43cc-b6c3-95e142328175.jpg?v=1571611010 Never shout at your plumber. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171222 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171222_mounted_e376353d-e6c5-4a4d-9863-798e9642a4fa.jpg?v=1571611010 I’m really proud of you! This time tomorrow, you’ll have been on your diet a whole week. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171223 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171223_mounted_78158643-75f2-4806-b74d-3ec75f4dccc8.jpg?v=1571611010 The top came off. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171225 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171225_mounted_c424d48f-3bd9-4840-b022-78622326858a.jpg?v=1571611010 It must be pretty good wine for $20 a bottle. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171226 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171226_mounted_e717d702-f1a4-44a3-b4c4-9141aa3faac4.jpg?v=1571611010 You can put your left down now. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171227 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171227_mounted_df9db78e-c522-45fd-aa4e-6c2ad8e4375f.jpg?v=1571611010 Dad put glue in her denture cleaner. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171228 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171228_mounted_4e93bf91-80b8-4692-a227-7bcaffed7ab6.jpg?v=1571611010 I love doing that! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171229 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171229_mounted_4fc26aec-f276-44cc-a580-909f9dcb0ff5.jpg?v=1571611010 That was lucky! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171230 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171230_mounted_1951c991-8f74-4595-9438-b510f0129ad7.jpg?v=1571611010 One of these hot dogs fell on the floor. You’ll have to toss a coin. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180101 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180101_mounted_3a09aa3e-0f13-4bff-ad62-59fc65ff9fb1.jpg?v=1571611010 I’ve completely lost track. Is it one million B.C. or one million B.C.? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180102 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180102_mounted_b45865b2-0a07-435f-b559-657b3688493c.jpg?v=1571611010 Maybe I’d better get going soon. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180103 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180103_mounted_19f38788-2ef4-412d-bc86-d652c5606a46.jpg?v=1571611010 Have you been waiting long? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180104 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180104_mounted_06b6dd54-2794-4fae-8f5b-25735d08ef53.jpg?v=1571611010 I think I prefer the blue. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180105 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180105_mounted_6fc96ffc-f04a-4be1-9353-4f9fa29ed1de.jpg?v=1571611010 You the guy with the hedge trimmer for sale? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180106 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180106_mounted_3e96c40f-eef3-4b44-a9dd-330e95734598.jpg?v=1571611010 Tell Sandra, lover-boy is here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180108 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180108_mounted_c796afa7-0b92-4d6b-a923-149065f9d867.jpg?v=1571611010 I don’t know whether to try to weed the lawn or tell everyone it’s a vegetable garden. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180109 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180109_mounted_0f367fd2-d325-4201-9395-66ed593bee2d.jpg?v=1571611010 I don’t think all that natural food is doing you any good! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180110 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180110_mounted_fc5a65bf-30d4-41bb-9c2c-09813b5530a4.jpg?v=1571611011 The car wash never gets it clean. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180111 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180111_mounted_2ed91cf0-08c9-4f5d-a086-5ca9bc06ddc9.jpg?v=1571611011 You need a haircut. It’s touching your shoulders. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180112 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180112_mounted_615a2ea4-a099-4f72-9929-90d508d5406e.jpg?v=1571611011 Dad’s gonna change the baby. I hope he gets a dog! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180113 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180113_mounted_639be748-b5b4-46a0-937d-02339ab03643.jpg?v=1571611011 Can’t you keep still? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180115 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180115_mounted_c93e12ad-e5dd-45b3-bb16-dcfb4eb71455.jpg?v=1571611011 Keep an eye on that one. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180116 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180116_mounted_ffaa734e-3342-4236-8be6-81ec1c9aa913.jpg?v=1571611011 Don’t be a spoilsport! Guess who it is. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180117 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180117_mounted_adf333a6-5fe1-492f-aa21-a6530645645f.jpg?v=1571611011 Six boxes of cookies for you, and no arguments. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180118 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180118_mounted_9488c9af-74d2-4d7c-ae2c-ae63945230e3.jpg?v=1571611011 What’s the big idea telling my wife you’re getting a new dishwasher? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180119 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180119_mounted_19835c75-9083-4ddf-a848-f3b7be61c739.jpg?v=1571611011 Excuse me. The machine is making a funny noise and the little light is going in a straight line. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180120 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180120_mounted_ae054d2b-1aad-4e9c-a943-79de0006afec.jpg?v=1571611011 Here’s your watch, Johnson. You’re retiring early.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180122 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180122_mounted_0fa30cf1-7728-4be4-ad16-5a366e79fd1e.jpg?v=1571611011 I thought you were gonna clean up this kitchen. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180123 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180123_mounted.jpg?v=1571611011 I need as much fire insurance as I can get by next Friday night. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180124 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180124_mounted_f9706082-2e1b-4199-96ab-7d487ce5c339.jpg?v=1571611011 That’s what it says: ‘One tablespoonful, 30 times a day.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180125 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180125_mounted_64b052ac-5883-4349-b0e3-18462b97e776.jpg?v=1571611011 That guy who’s filling in for you at the office is a real worker. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180126 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180126_mounted_7305fa03-600d-4982-adbc-bc13270533f0.jpg?v=1571611011 You’ll have to wait for your soup. I can’t do everything! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180127 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180127_mounted_a9d7f7b9-ff88-42aa-94f5-382babc02fbc.jpg?v=1571611011 This won’t take long, will it? The first race starts in 20 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180129 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180129_mounted_8e311b4a-febd-4726-976d-09e10765c360.jpg?v=1571611011 I’ve studied your case and I think your best bet is a tunnel! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180130 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180130_mounted_3a468f0c-1b09-48e0-a34b-965f952dbd60.jpg?v=1571611011 I see you giving me a $20 tip! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180131 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180131_mounted_2a5c6130-4454-437f-a3cf-66f2bcd4b444.jpg?v=1571611011 You’d better let the cat in before he wakes up the street. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180201 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180201_mounted_489b8b12-0293-49af-8c68-c83ff6529d87.jpg?v=1571611011 Going anywhere near the tropics? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180202 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180202_mounted_6ba5aaf7-9cd9-4480-8ec5-24b9c5a5f860.jpg?v=1571611011 What’s my whisk doing in here? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180203 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180203_mounted_2e7f6f2e-c0b1-4a5a-b229-925f912b8151.jpg?v=1571611011 He’s chewed through the TV cord again! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180205 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180205_mounted_84ebf8fb-8ee9-4eea-b561-cb53782dfdae.jpg?v=1571611012 How far can I send this cat for 30 dollars? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180206 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180206_mounted_7f4419d4-a627-4fd0-83a9-d01e4bd83111.jpg?v=1571611012 I gave your sandwich to the wrong customer. Do you still want it? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180207 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180207_mounted_3bc517f9-98c6-42dc-81f9-5c3ae0a21e80.jpg?v=1571611012 Just a minute, I can’t find my keys. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180208 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180208_mounted_f3a0135b-2005-4e93-99e2-2dd508b3c11d.jpg?v=1571611012 I hope you haven’t got gravy all over your shoes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180209 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180209_mounted_a211f4fe-3813-46cc-b69e-862b8fa49181.jpg?v=1571611012 Good luck. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180210 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180210_mounted_88cc825c-7390-4131-a07a-fe7d8be6b7a5.jpg?v=1571611012 We’ve got 60 guests and only three pieces of cake! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180212 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180212_mounted_39916507-b14a-4253-9d63-4d5891bd4c8d.jpg?v=1571611012 You can’t expect me to learn the job in five minutes, can you? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180213 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180213_mounted_d55e35c5-f56d-4932-a54a-46bfe03c098c.jpg?v=1571611012 I never did like dogs. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180214 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180214_mounted_45cf6f97-3a4f-4400-a9bb-8e1631b42f66.jpg?v=1571611012 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180215 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180215_mounted_cc480d07-da98-4d3f-b22e-2de48ce4d7bd.jpg?v=1571611012 He’s half parrot and half homing pigeon. I’ve sold him ten times! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180216 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180216_mounted_bcad3a12-2a60-4818-928d-943878c1fbe5.jpg?v=1571611012 Take two of these with meals but no more than 30 a day. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180217 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180217_mounted_f5144094-154d-4337-91c3-35b330fa4bd6.jpg?v=1571611012 See what happens when you find them not guilty? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180219 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180219_mounted_a8aa6599-d635-4cca-9bd5-02b28e506eb9.jpg?v=1571611012 What do you want for your birthday, a battery-tester or a set of screwdrivers? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180220 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180220_mounted_0d32f818-c4d3-4455-ba7a-830225589110.jpg?v=1571611012 You heard me! Take your hat off. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180221 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180221_mounted_c89bd66b-a162-4f62-9d58-36045003a1cb.jpg?v=1571611012 I’ll cook you a nice meal during the next commercial. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180222 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180222_mounted_fb24c9fa-f6a8-4a9e-b62f-a38905a07a76.jpg?v=1571611012 There are more than eight cornflakes in there! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180223 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180223_mounted_9a103adc-d371-4b6d-8fe5-e2dd7707e4c7.jpg?v=1571611012 Strange how all six of your previous employers left the ‘C’ out of the word ‘excellent.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180224 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180224_mounted_0091ce85-3ce6-4a27-8e33-d852c5ecdbce.jpg?v=1571611012 Dear Diary, the old skinflint forgot my allowance again. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180226 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180226_mounted_7b27c6f6-3dfd-4262-bb34-13e0509d8cb1.jpg?v=1571611012 Keep it to yourself, but I’ve finished spending that $5 you gave me for Christmas. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180227 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180227_mounted_fabb6cee-4805-4b8d-bbd6-2a76d61ba8cb.jpg?v=1571611012 It must have been that time your brother brought his portable over! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180228 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180228_mounted_9589cdf3-0732-426e-953b-f244487ce5bd.jpg?v=1571611012 Harry, the Earth isn’t the third planet from the sun, is it? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180301 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180301_mounted_5b123df8-97ef-4125-a692-81a96577b1d9.jpg?v=1571611012 Can we get some service around here? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180302 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180302_mounted_3a25f4e7-66ce-4154-afb0-3bfc2b4784d2.jpg?v=1571611012 I told you that was HIS chair! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180303 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180303_mounted_40362d1c-3eeb-4614-a543-56f3a3314ede.jpg?v=1571611012 This is one I did on my trip to Australia. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180305 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180305_mounted_011e0a97-9e6d-4ba8-a143-721d9279ce54.jpg?v=1571611012 You seem to have the qualifications we’re looking for in a bookkeeper. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180306 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180306_mounted_ad23407c-c939-4c70-9d0e-be346264a8eb.jpg?v=1571611012 If you don’t want to be my caddy, there are plenty of other people who do! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180307 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180307_mounted_9a82b475-1292-434e-9b94-ca550a96210c.jpg?v=1571611013 D’you think we really need a kitchen? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180308 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180308_mounted_f96f69ec-5755-40a3-b3f0-acd1d314d68f.jpg?v=1571611013 How d’you expect me to plead ‘guilty’ or ‘not guilty’ when I haven’t heard the evidence? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180309 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180309_mounted_3ddeb07e-975a-40b7-9836-534e1ab327d5.jpg?v=1571611013 Can I borrow that magazine you were reading in bed last night? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180310 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180310_mounted_44c5aabc-08d7-469c-a7fa-127950832391.jpg?v=1571611013 Did you fix my sewing machine? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180312 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180312_mounted_5852f155-d331-4bc1-88b6-3f833c231053.jpg?v=1571611013 Now don’t mention coming in here when we get home. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180313 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180313_mounted_fa6cae75-92db-44a6-81dc-4ba2f8912ca1.jpg?v=1571611013 Where’s that dumb cat? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180314 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180314_mounted_79daa173-96b3-4a99-9c3a-d6253c17be93.jpg?v=1571611013 This new night fragrance is called ‘Surrender.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180315 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180315_mounted_bca2fe09-eecf-4792-9dad-4bfe53a19a51.jpg?v=1571611013 Oh dear! Look where I left poor old dad’s guitar. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180316 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180316_mounted_20b1a2e9-5e39-4283-b85c-b3680b1078f8.jpg?v=1571611014 Can I pay you Friday? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180317 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180317_mounted_28dde679-545c-42d0-939a-d7077889263c.jpg?v=1571611014 Let me know if you ever need a good defense lawyer. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180319 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180319_mounted_60e0cc84-2b87-4d94-ba68-704cde9b506b.jpg?v=1571611014 It’s genuine crocodile. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180320 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180320_mounted_626d2e07-f771-4ded-a337-f50cb8449654.jpg?v=1571611014 Can the guy downstairs borrow some milk? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180321 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180321_mounted_1670d4f7-e5b5-4b9a-8104-91621fa7c4a9.jpg?v=1571611014 Shall I back up? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180322 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180322_mounted_b45d1bea-9abc-4bd9-95be-42472d6e287d.jpg?v=1571611014 He must have heard a noise downstairs! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180323 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180323_mounted_49e9e4d7-ebca-4e73-af17-c69183c0deef.jpg?v=1571611014 Oh no! I’ve broken my nail. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180324 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180324_mounted_3a0f2c3a-678d-4844-af93-ff3ffbce8bbf.jpg?v=1571611014 Are you ‘open’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180326 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180326_mounted_7d02cebd-108f-4173-b0b8-9b363c4fde7f.jpg?v=1571611014 Let’s hope we never have to use it! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180327 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180327_mounted_a5861037-d0fc-4d4d-b29d-90caa842ecbb.jpg?v=1571611014 Is hernia contagious? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180328 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180328_mounted_d97d67c7-0e02-431f-9533-10bf25d8f871.jpg?v=1571611014 Stay there, I got the wrong one. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180329 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180329_mounted_0a6091a8-8a5a-4e99-82f2-a93f5bd2928b.jpg?v=1571611014 Nurse, call an ambulance. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180330 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180330_mounted_f2205f43-f1d8-4ec0-a8cc-acb5bd7f71d8.jpg?v=1571611015 You look a lot better! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180331 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180331_mounted_e022e775-b966-4319-bf8c-dc45b82cece1.jpg?v=1571611015 As it was a false alarm, I’ll just give you one quick squirt. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180402 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180402_mounted_4896c561-bbd0-44b9-8a31-d54081b296e9.jpg?v=1571611015 If he’s your brother, sir, I’m sure I would have remembered him. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180403 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180403_mounted_706a0739-a441-4683-a10f-c3b099b6cd62.jpg?v=1571611015 Did you tell the dog he couldn’t go out tonight? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180404 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180404_mounted_eae5bd03-4874-4d3c-8520-c2120fc5852a.jpg?v=1571611015 This one turns men into putty! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180405 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180405_mounted_c137c069-3288-4441-9a89-736e83632931.jpg?v=1571611015 What’s the matter with you? I’m looking for my checkbook! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180406 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180406_mounted_55c61b41-d23e-4660-97d2-3089df9c5441.jpg?v=1571611015 I’m still not getting any hot water! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180407 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180407_mounted_dcbadc82-dc42-4c4a-9cd2-d64561643328.jpg?v=1571611015 I’d let you talk more, but you’re not as interesting as me. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180409 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180409_mounted_01a3d335-f461-4666-afd5-a3117bb5cdff.jpg?v=1571611015 Be fair! He did ask you twice to take it off. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180410 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180410_mounted_19cd9d9b-9eb1-4341-9db5-c21a214ee6c7.jpg?v=1571611015 Back to the drawing board, smarty-pants! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180411 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180411_mounted_869a37b6-ff1e-4c73-95e1-c4485cfa84c0.jpg?v=1571611015 My husband kept telling me to drive faster, Officer. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180412 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180412_mounted_ea285b83-6138-4e15-aaa0-66d0a629319f.jpg?v=1571611015 Stop him! He’s got your dinner. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180413 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180413_mounted_bae6bccf-3a7e-4917-bb24-106a966cb8b0.jpg?v=1571611015 This isn’t the bank! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180414 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180414_mounted_319a9d64-29eb-49ce-aec9-06b925a1ef24.jpg?v=1571611015 The sink was clogged! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180416 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180416_mounted_17a561cd-1e32-490c-b9bf-c2e560793000.jpg?v=1571611015 We’re having trouble finding twelve ex-embezzlers for the jury. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180417 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180417_mounted_62193de2-c596-4d0b-9f98-27580842361a.jpg?v=1571611015 The old brakes failed! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180418 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180418_mounted_df6b0c0d-4ec7-439d-bc39-cfbd53460323.jpg?v=1571611015 I told you on the phone we’d be taking my new boat out. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180419 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180419_mounted_230c469d-49ba-4673-b62e-0017d7406e4b.jpg?v=1571611015 I’ve got to ask the boss for a raise tomorrow. How does this look? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180420 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180420_mounted_9a921111-53f2-4119-9034-76bdd25342c9.jpg?v=1571611015 If you want the inside cleaned, just leave your windows down. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180421 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180421_mounted_a6378c43-d518-42b0-9544-d340094deee8.jpg?v=1571611015 Whoever she is, tell your wife she has all my sympathy. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180423 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180423_mounted_f7625768-43d8-447a-b49f-06074faebfca.jpg?v=1571611015 Members of the jury, I must ask you to disregard my last remark. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180424 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180424_mounted_eb2a00a4-c7b2-4441-b226-7df7cf3a72ec.jpg?v=1571611015 Have the hamburger on the house. You’re the first customer who ever came back! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180425 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180425_mounted_5fbb4406-9728-4a73-9f85-aa3a94b04b57.jpg?v=1571611015 When I told him it would be nice to have my breakfast in bed once in a while, he told me to sleep in the kitchen. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180426 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180426_mounted_7d835575-bfe0-4ec0-a141-7c9b430beca7.jpg?v=1571611015 Don’t try to tell me my job! That’s number 37! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180427 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180427_mounted_60c9a3b3-8c06-48f8-9e32-e15f3f8f55f5.jpg?v=1571611015 You’ll have to come back later. They’re not biting! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180428 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180428_mounted_8275d263-44a3-43c1-b0ef-8aad18f8cd29.jpg?v=1571611015 I can’t figure it. These carrot plants are getting smaller! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180430 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180430_mounted_a6dcd632-6d9b-4823-a8f7-7f33e3a55ab3.jpg?v=1571611015 Are you sure your kid didn’t mind giving up his room? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180501 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180501_mounted_3c6e93a8-d569-4f22-b9e0-a217677ae709.jpg?v=1571611015 Not a lot of clues, Chief! We found one footprint. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180502 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180502_mounted_9c09e576-893f-4759-9824-4456ef8940b1.jpg?v=1571611016 Soup or juice? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180503 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180503_mounted_be4c7960-b4e3-43bb-a1c0-1fea4d29cd7d.jpg?v=1571611016 Buttercup recognized your car coming and ran off. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180504 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180504_mounted_17b37d17-39d5-4e21-a325-0b89eab2b7c8.jpg?v=1571611016 I keep the door locked. I can’t understand how they all got in there! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180505 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180505_mounted_606ece2c-e2af-4fef-9c73-853f0897b2a1.jpg?v=1571611016 I can never understand your doctor’s handwriting. What are your symptoms? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180507 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180507_mounted_9d1ec145-d021-4ebc-bb70-c63a683e5adf.jpg?v=1571611016 Been waiting long? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180508 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180508_mounted_5152229b-67d0-4628-a3ef-186018e84abb.jpg?v=1571611016 I don’t suppose you remembered to put up my picture! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180509 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180509_mounted_759c1fcc-3c90-4b3c-adda-de1f16a27af7.jpg?v=1571611016 His wife never lets him watch this show! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180510 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180510_mounted_77971fd1-904e-4254-9426-74f35f713106.jpg?v=1571611016 Don’t talk to me during visiting hours. My wife thinks I’m in a coma. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180511 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180511_mounted_417d60d5-ac21-4e1e-8a31-a949e2ed54be.jpg?v=1571611016 Where d’you think you’re going? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180512 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180512_mounted_757a2e1d-2e99-4155-a6ee-53a535066b67.jpg?v=1571611016 Can’t you work faster? My arms are killing me. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180515 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180515_mounted_f8504815-2055-403c-9054-2ea153952eac.jpg?v=1571611016 Come on! You must admit he’s ‘pushy’ for six months old. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180516 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180516_mounted_dfd414fc-461c-477e-8099-a51dd29eff70.jpg?v=1571611016 Watch daddy. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180517 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180517_mounted_c0f32ab7-7871-4464-9a84-134edffab78a.jpg?v=1571611016 No sense buying a good set ’til I know if I can play. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180518 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180518_mounted_29f5447f-22f5-4ed4-969c-9ca0ac1b1ba5.jpg?v=1571611016 What shall we call it: ox-tail, vegetable or soup-of-the-day? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180519 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180519_mounted_91b48707-e62f-43db-9da2-d5540a39cde2.jpg?v=1571611016 Be honest! He looks rough for 56 years old. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180521 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180521_mounted_0db1fa86-8acf-4c85-8672-1b7efa709862.jpg?v=1571611016 The groom’s late? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180522 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180522_mounted_28795dc5-4da2-4f3a-a531-88edf3d0770e.jpg?v=1571611016 I said I was sorry! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180523 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180523_mounted_87bac776-e995-499b-88f2-4e9c8c458290.jpg?v=1571611016 We could have flipped through your family album and saved six bucks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180524 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180524_mounted_1aa43dce-b0d0-4baf-898c-1bdf1d33535c.jpg?v=1571611016 Call for an ambulance. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180525 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180525_mounted_e854a21b-fa73-4489-bfc2-ffdb07896439.jpg?v=1571611016 He’s having a tough time finding someone who hasn’t mugged him! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180526 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180526_mounted_cc3c58c6-bb36-42df-8bd9-d32652c89c60.jpg?v=1571611016 I’ve mailed this twice and it keeps coming back. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180528 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180528_mounted_f202af62-b694-4614-9907-9485cfa792c3.jpg?v=1571611016 This is the best security device we have. Put a pair of these just inside the front door. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180529 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180529_mounted_7aed415b-10cb-4f8e-8c96-4999da5875e4.jpg?v=1571611016 Nurse, let me know when a bell-ringer gets here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180530 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180530_mounted_e1e70b2f-778a-4060-9766-f36ac30a557f.jpg?v=1571611016 I don’t think ‘no fixed address’ is a good idea on a loan application. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180531 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180531_mounted_23e28715-6435-40ab-8853-0694a5b1c85a.jpg?v=1571611016 He wants this book on witchcraft. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180601 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180601_mounted_39fd1a1e-6014-4fe9-b99b-27f5f9ef458d.jpg?v=1571611016 We specifically requested a room with a balcony! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180602 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180602_mounted_3f7a4a02-becc-43ee-9d5c-73eb443e3041.jpg?v=1571611016 He gets uncomfortable with strangers. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180604 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180604_mounted_e596ac19-fe8c-4844-b47e-386185f08633.jpg?v=1571611017 Anyone around? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180605 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180605_mounted_b864e9c8-f760-4c69-bc3f-0b83f3e68047.jpg?v=1571611017 You’ve put on weight since you quit smoking! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180606 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180606_mounted_f3e2732f-fdcb-460c-9bd1-aa2be14d25ee.jpg?v=1571611017 I said, hamburger with fries. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180607 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180607_mounted_f0cc345d-01e8-4ae3-bc4a-53c2359fd6a2.jpg?v=1571611017 I’ll give you something to ease the pain. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180608 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180608_mounted_69b327a3-fc26-431c-834f-28daa6697130.jpg?v=1571611017 Do you feel well enough to cook? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180609 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180609_mounted_fe786cae-4508-4c01-a8da-fdc1af1f2f6e.jpg?v=1571611017 Got any books for about a dollar on financial planning? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180611 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180611_mounted_14ffb0c5-0024-47ee-83b3-92fee9ce027a.jpg?v=1571611017 These are expensive, but they’re guaranteed up to 140 words per minute. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180612 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180612_mounted_98268039-d5dc-4525-b560-34e6c4d6098d.jpg?v=1571611017 I’m not worried about her eloping! I’m worried about my new ladder taking the weight. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180613 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180613_mounted_15d0a662-ebdc-44a6-8f8b-a6cc6b12cb50.jpg?v=1571611017 I’ve got a fantastic new joke, but it’s going to cost you extra. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180614 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180614_mounted_755e1ace-723c-4c9f-b4ed-5006113f3291.jpg?v=1571611017 I don’t like the pin placement. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180615 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180615_mounted_ff9aec3b-1fc6-4b62-bcc3-9b6b478db192.jpg?v=1571611017 We’ll do a series of x-rays starting with your wallet. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180616 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180616_mounted_8783de81-32e0-4c51-9a94-b090c0c25c30.jpg?v=1571611017 Can’t you give me the speeding ticket later? I’m really in a big hurry. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180618 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180618_mounted_c4e82a53-0e0f-4162-99ad-7064b5c7c0eb.jpg?v=1571611017 He’s stopped playing. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180619 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180619_mounted_fca5b45d-f833-4ce2-8608-296e887e05ce.jpg?v=1571611017 Oh darling! Your very first patient. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180620 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180620_mounted_dc193990-6d43-496a-8d92-c1cff6372c74.jpg?v=1571611017 Any requests? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180621 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180621_mounted_bbb44098-13ef-4000-9d32-f0238f3985c5.jpg?v=1571611017 Sweetheart, this will be your father-in-law. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180622 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180622_mounted_311b58e5-0136-4e3d-a40b-d219c2f8d1bd.jpg?v=1571611017 This stew is ruined. You said you’d be home last year! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180623 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180623_mounted_80916d6f-5cc6-4b6a-ba54-c8562bae8339.jpg?v=1571611017 Whaddya want for lunch? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180625 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180625_mounted_dce7fa48-510b-48e3-9dc8-b8bdf8e9371a.jpg?v=1571611017 Okay, okay, don’t worry about it! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180626 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180626_mounted_4f9a9ad3-abe8-43e6-802a-4c4450edcde7.jpg?v=1571611017 Dad, if you don’t feel any better, d’you want me to try acupuncture? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180627 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180627_mounted_9a3157ca-cce2-40ea-8ad3-d3697fa07329.jpg?v=1571611017 I made you enough sandwiches to last you for a whole year. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180628 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180628_mounted_6b3e8dc7-035b-4cd4-8ef7-973083f1bdf4.jpg?v=1571611017 With my luck lately, I’d say your chances are about 50-50. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180629 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180629_mounted_79b31f71-81f2-41e9-a74c-8f54abc5c2fb.jpg?v=1571611017 If you’ve got any money, grab yourself a chair. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180630 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180630_mounted_4de1b870-344b-4fbd-be4b-01974529692f.jpg?v=1571611017 The recipe says a pinch of spice. I thought it said a ‘pound’. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180702 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180702_mounted_4b063fc3-ef71-459b-9b76-e90e85938ef7.jpg?v=1571611017 Dad, I need 200 ‘big-ones.’ No questions asked. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180703 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180703_mounted_3c4cc73d-dbd7-4487-a549-2461db533a46.jpg?v=1571611017 Haven’t you got that cork out yet? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180704 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180704_mounted_317e3641-1863-4f06-9e21-1b1fec8cf87a.jpg?v=1571611017 If you’re gonna teach him water comes from hydrogen and oxygen, I also want him to know he can get it from the kitchen. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180705 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180705_mounted_3be4057c-23ca-4002-bf23-230e0682d321.jpg?v=1571611018 I don’t want to be a ‘lookout’ ANYMORE. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180706 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180706_mounted_991a3076-c9da-4f4f-aeaf-dd70e91f98c4.jpg?v=1571611018 Do you take trade-ins? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180707 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180707_mounted_6e309663-e795-4a4f-a545-4526b13bda6f.jpg?v=1571611018 It’s called ‘How to Survive on a Widow’s Pension.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180709 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180709_mounted_336f6bc5-1d37-4bfe-bbfd-4f9fc68f2b89.jpg?v=1571611018 You’re not getting another engagement ring until you’ve finished paying for the other two. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180710 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180710_mounted_bef3a6ad-86a2-463a-a2f8-828b22e30819.jpg?v=1571611018 You’re to blame for this! You let him watch ‘How I Met Your Mother.” https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180711 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180711_mounted_88119a57-2141-428b-9bfa-48aaa6ac0ac6.jpg?v=1571611018 We were advertising for a ‘driver.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180712 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180712_mounted_f2d6357b-273d-4731-aff8-977f26d98d74.jpg?v=1571611018 If I give you a pay raise, you’ll have to start worrying about tax shelters. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180713 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180713_mounted_a5a8d479-33f7-400d-8c8d-2bd6855a38a2.jpg?v=1571611018 Therefore, I leave everything to my trusted lawyer. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180714 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180714_mounted_4e93cd2c-b325-4f30-acd7-bbf52d8004d5.jpg?v=1571611018 D’you mind not blowing that cigarette smoke all over me. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180716 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180716_mounted_75016ca1-7bdb-49ef-b196-6e32c83d94da.jpg?v=1571611018 Don’t bother getting me a baby sitter, I’m going out myself. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180717 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180717_mounted_cbba8926-8c55-4820-8cbb-f3eafceed804.jpg?v=1571611018 One Caesar’s salad, no dressing. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180718 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180718_mounted_52c54def-87d9-4254-b9bd-e2a1e1f8f045.jpg?v=1571611018 I dreamt I was driving down a mountain road and the brakes failed. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180719 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180719_mounted_5509ffef-8bde-43db-8f9e-0dc83458511f.jpg?v=1571611018 That’s fantastic! I can’t keep up with all this modern technology. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180720 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180720_mounted_4745008e-bf4c-4104-9ef7-22b4b7451252.jpg?v=1571611018 I thought you were finished! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180721 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180721_mounted_03015c5b-a446-462f-bf78-d73237e1b8e2.jpg?v=1571611018 Whaddyer mean, ‘put him outside’? I can’t even move. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180723 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180723_mounted_ea2ecc36-a381-4fa3-b0cd-4c27c9e81660.jpg?v=1571611018 Your pulse is very, very weak! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180724 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180724_mounted_2145088e-eff5-468a-9bda-218ace77ab32.jpg?v=1571611018 Who left the stereo on? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180725 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180725_mounted_2bd7580a-1902-43c5-8bda-614a9d1a0029.jpg?v=1571611018 Mom’s in the penguin enclosure at the zoo, waiting for a tow truck. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180726 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180726_mounted_28b8d874-d962-47e0-bb68-01950934c8c5.jpg?v=1571611018 As long as the waist fits, I can always fix the shouders. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180727 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180727_mounted_73d2bbfe-eced-4564-be84-73d6da4ca5cc.jpg?v=1571611018 Watch out! One of your peas is moving. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180728 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180728_mounted_150ac37d-7d79-4ebd-a5e4-e4d5a559c5c0.jpg?v=1571611018 Have you finished with the financial section? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180730 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180730_mounted_11c44898-8b0c-4e71-9766-02e33b48b617.jpg?v=1571611018 Happy Birthday, Dad. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180731 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180731_mounted_bf40a3a6-52e2-4ea4-bc5c-7c593842d1ff.jpg?v=1571611018 I don't see anything here for less than a dollar. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180801 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180801_mounted_cfcfc32e-0351-4a7c-ae39-3ba0b49120cd.jpg?v=1571611019 See, I told you daddy only had a ‘concussion.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180802 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180802_mounted_3e59d3b1-1005-4fb1-834c-bfbdac0aaed7.jpg?v=1571611019 I finally got a day off! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180803 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180803_mounted_82144f58-856d-416d-bf66-7361899fc64d.jpg?v=1571611019 It says here a laboratory rat got himself a lawyer and is suing the government for $10 million. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180804 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180804_mounted_3df7bfce-2c80-4035-9cdd-c61a6b42bc1c.jpg?v=1571611019 If we split up, I want this toaster. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180806 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180806_mounted_e7ae7572-c4ba-48f3-ba7e-bbcbb8c9f1ad.jpg?v=1571611019 I know you don’t like messing around with a lot of little buttons. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180807 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180807_mounted_e451f64d-aa50-4ba8-8dbe-f91075cc7399.jpg?v=1571611019 Who ordered the five-star chili? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180808 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180808_mounted_64b1a1fd-9f2a-4f35-a793-4d4fa0c3cebc.jpg?v=1571611019 Guess what happened to those sausages on the way home from the supermarket. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180809 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180809_mounted_42bc5d9a-421e-4606-885e-1bb8f846c6c0.jpg?v=1571611019 They’re running short of arrows! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180810 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180810_mounted_3d785631-26b9-4cca-ac38-ff0570faf281.jpg?v=1571611020 I’m fixing up the room. Her mother’s coming to stay with us for a week. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180811 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180811_mounted_57020387-0ac6-4648-b3b1-6831a0fe7323.jpg?v=1571611020 Can I borrow some of your after-shave? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180813 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180813_mounted_b26bd1f0-fcca-43d4-82c4-f91a2d0c8798.jpg?v=1571611020 You heard me! Did I say ‘rice’ or ‘dice’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180814 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180814_mounted_e219a927-7295-45e5-8cd1-20b24cdf7042.jpg?v=1571611020 No, it’s not easy putting nine adopted children through college earning 80 bucks a week! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180815 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180815_mounted_8524587e-2b0a-49cc-9613-4f3830d61c46.jpg?v=1571611020 Is it my fault if the foreman at my last place started a fight? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180816 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180816_mounted_c6fe69b3-7f35-4585-9675-5280788dd5fa.jpg?v=1571611020 Can you fix them by Saturday? I’m in the finals. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180817 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180817_mounted_bd2e6847-55fe-4dfd-9ab9-876dc41eca9b.jpg?v=1571611020 Your wife told me you sold the pet crocodile. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180818 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180818_mounted_32ff909b-34cb-449e-9e93-b69581422c63.jpg?v=1571611020 You’re the first guy who’s moved onto this street with a bench saw! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180820 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180820_mounted_fe610a3e-0089-4142-ae2a-b3201a153919.jpg?v=1571611020 My friend, that simple piece of wire is going to revolutionize the garment industry! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180821 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180821_mounted_e6bc1351-ac63-4bad-b33d-3b36e8f15847.jpg?v=1571611020 I made us a license plate! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180822 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180822_mounted_a2ba9da2-46d1-422c-b2e2-eee22f4581dd.jpg?v=1571611020 Don’t tell me. Let me guess. You want cheese? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180823 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180823_mounted_3b62a225-43d2-456a-9106-c9060c840157.jpg?v=1571611020 Okay, that does it! No more doubles. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180824 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180824_mounted_46e67552-8a8d-4f60-8276-9a2f1a3a168e.jpg?v=1571611020 My usual fee is $20 but I’ll only charge you $10. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180825 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180825_mounted_1ca7674d-f259-411e-bf12-a7c21bbbc4dc.jpg?v=1571611020 I told you not to bring those sandwiches in here! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180827 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180827_mounted_e51fd25c-0b27-44c9-a88d-b227605074a5.jpg?v=1571611020 You always lend me these old things! Why don’t you splurge on an electric trimmer? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180828 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180828_mounted_35d02fd5-20d3-473e-9122-6fbd24edab95.jpg?v=1571611020 I remember the good old days when I could see the window! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180829 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180829_mounted_b637fb17-e59f-4996-82e0-0d574a2360f1.jpg?v=1571611020 Let’s start again from where I said, ‘Sit down’! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180830 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180830_mounted_6ac46635-a483-4fe2-954b-e35818ae90a9.jpg?v=1571611020 I wonder what she sees in him! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180831 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180831_mounted_cedf6ab8-64ed-433a-9d18-b1ea1161bbeb.jpg?v=1571611020 It’s funny, but I can never get any vegetables to grow along that fence! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180901 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180901_mounted_45d78481-2183-4bca-9704-fe87fdc6207b.jpg?v=1571611020 Members of the jury, have you reached a verdict on this crook? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180903 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180903_mounted_87e38c67-5ce9-4315-b113-d28cf0f38bab.jpg?v=1571611020 I don’t know what it is! I just started here myself. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180904 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180904_mounted_ea6142fa-787e-4648-a390-9d1c9c3bd8d9.jpg?v=1571611020 We flew over one of your cities on the way in… very impressive! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180905 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180905_mounted_54e44b67-8b7a-4048-b904-5bbe4ed390d3.jpg?v=1571611020 You said it was getting tired. It’s gone to bed! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180906 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180906_mounted_c746822e-747e-4f91-903a-7b87d0660707.jpg?v=1571611020 I changed the baby. Now what? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180907 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180907_mounted_21823502-640d-4b43-8ec3-e0fdfb415bde.jpg?v=1571611020 Perfect! Six feet two inches and 195 lbs. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180908 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180908_mounted_bcfa1966-e63c-4931-b4cb-3317902664f8.jpg?v=1571611021 Here it is, ‘Zebra Virus’! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180910 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180910_mounted_644e00cb-6a2f-46a8-90b2-ba4e61e418a5.jpg?v=1571611021 Do you like the new tiles I put up in the bathroom? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180911 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180911_mounted_a316e71a-da0b-4427-b2d5-d78964df3887.jpg?v=1571611021 This is ‘Moon Over the Ocean’, painted, basically from memory! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180912 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180912_mounted_d0f589e0-c8a1-4e4d-b663-f1a4bdec59ea.jpg?v=1571611021 Why can’t you use your imagination and stick a few peas on there? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180913 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180913_mounted_93c44195-be2b-4897-b645-ce140666c591.jpg?v=1571611021 What about you! Did you see what happened? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180914 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180914_mounted_8413a9a1-af8e-4601-aa2d-ec1cf1539ca1.jpg?v=1571611021 If you buy a goldfish, I’ll throw in the aardvark. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180915 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180915_mounted_a0e4c5b1-9b97-42c6-800b-44eaef9498f0.jpg?v=1571611021 Don’t overfeed the fish, nag, nag, nag. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180917 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180917_mounted_df0a8b64-455f-483a-b7bf-440f4de6adf1.jpg?v=1571611021 Why can’t you watch ‘The Muppets’ after I’ve seen the news? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180918 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180918_mounted_ec534a4a-4eaa-4fee-a6dc-fc1149a7920b.jpg?v=1571611021 Being on a diet does not give you the right to go beserk in a donut shop. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180919 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180919_mounted_3a7babd2-0704-4361-9247-252675691ffa.jpg?v=1571611021 Let me explain why I can’t give you a pay raise. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180920 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180920_mounted_f04bc517-2938-4a22-b21e-6908f4a65674.jpg?v=1571611021 Have you got a room with bars on the windows? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180921 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180921_mounted_e71c1100-82ed-41ec-b6ff-cae6907e06eb.jpg?v=1571611021 D’you feel okay? That chicken was a funny color when I cooked it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180922 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180922_mounted_0f4c879e-e10f-4b85-8b40-a4c0f7db64cf.jpg?v=1571611021 What’s it gonna be — an ice cream or a university education? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180924 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180924_mounted_7931904e-d558-4c47-818a-e3fe401d0f02.jpg?v=1571611021 Shall I throw out another bag of sand? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180925 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180925_mounted_c4baba44-57c1-4d7d-898c-2441aca995d0.jpg?v=1571611021 It’s just for a few days, Wilkins, until her ladyship gets used to not having the old dog around. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180926 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180926_mounted_66f2c2bd-ddb2-496a-9852-f9cb9778e111.jpg?v=1571611021 Can you fix a flat? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180927 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180927_mounted_af4aaf3d-3c87-46da-b9c7-fe53f6dc444a.jpg?v=1571611021 We’re having a special on tonsils this week. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180928 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180928_mounted_03e28b3c-035e-42e6-abb3-488e424dd3ea.jpg?v=1571611021 Run upstairs and see who it is! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180929 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180929_mounted_cf20f03b-3cec-40d7-b906-88230b48e492.jpg?v=1571611021 Keep your left arm straight and remember to follow through. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181001 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181001_mounted_aa859534-a6f6-4fdf-97e5-9e391e83ddac.jpg?v=1571611021 My, my, he looks like his daddy! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181002 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181002_mounted_c1a02f36-9702-468e-8268-36aa7072e338.jpg?v=1571611021 Dad, watch me juggle! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181003 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181003_mounted_300498e6-eb79-4b7d-9179-b0e284dea406.jpg?v=1571611021 Did you thank Grandpa for the tool kit? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181004 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181004_mounted_cf2a7607-2151-4be3-9458-8482b833b300.jpg?v=1571611021 Would you like to donate any organs while you’re under the anesthetic? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181005 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181005_mounted_1005d344-f646-4911-afc5-a3b05a9727b7.jpg?v=1571611021 I’m sorry, sir. No dogs allowed in the hotel. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181006 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181006_mounted_295c0faa-aa46-49cb-ba0e-9eee23e5602b.jpg?v=1571611021 I never said you could use my boat! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181008 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181008_mounted_dfec68b7-6a75-48cd-b48e-3ff80b4236f9.jpg?v=1571611021 Look at his eyes! They’re almost human. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181009 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181009_mounted_848acc4b-dbac-4fff-b190-4021817715d7.jpg?v=1571611022 Here, grab this. I didn’t have enough money for two Strawberry Delights! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181010 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181010_mounted_5e810881-c209-44b8-a20e-00fb29ff8a03.jpg?v=1571611022 If you’d told me you had all those books, I would have made it stronger! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181011 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181011_mounted_2c31b2e0-3890-443f-b236-8e98bb2db3c1.jpg?v=1571611022 Okay, slam the door as soon as I get upstairs. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181012 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181012_mounted_b75119b5-8a9f-4d64-8550-dae950e6096f.jpg?v=1571611022 Why didn’t you say you didn’t want gravy? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181013 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181013_mounted_7b496bf8-4076-4bf0-9361-06d43b16793b.jpg?v=1571611022 I hope you won’t be like that on Saturday. My sister is coming. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181015 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181015_mounted_f9423df0-5b28-4c6d-8d3e-98da3f8bb201.jpg?v=1571611022 Smile, Dad! We need it for school! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181016 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181016_mounted_42f0764d-30b6-4470-9eb1-7ee0003d3028.jpg?v=1571611022 Who’s been using my ‘Lavendar Beads’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181017 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181017_mounted_4b6f6b50-8dd4-4107-93aa-a3e62678a05f.jpg?v=1571611022 There’s nothing in the rule book that says I can’t stay here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181018 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181018_mounted_98d53ca7-c0a9-40f0-a29e-571af505dca6.jpg?v=1571611022 I told you not to try touching your toes! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181019 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181019_mounted_8da24f64-8e65-4b36-ba81-f6c19a95ad55.jpg?v=1571611022 I thought this place closed at six! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181020 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181020_mounted_cb73cab5-6c66-4988-9a2f-0debbebb64de.jpg?v=1571611022 I don’t have a suitcase! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181022 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181022_mounted_96e6a0b3-874e-4b24-b013-a83db1f5b0cc.jpg?v=1571611022 It’s okay, Ralph. We don’t want to see your gallbladder! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181023 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181023_mounted_b8b0f2ab-7ee9-42b5-929d-01ca545826e8.jpg?v=1571611022 My silly old key wouldn’t open the front door, Snuggles. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181024 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181024_mounted_8e1e7b5e-1bcc-4a34-8f39-b570f6ab59dd.jpg?v=1571611022 That’s the last time I go on vacation. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181025 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181025_mounted_b2071f85-e00c-411a-8396-db112288c303.jpg?v=1571611022 I think you’re after me! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181026 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181026_mounted_b8f3b9f8-ddf3-4f3a-9d2f-aa07e7a118f1.jpg?v=1571611022 I’ve been down here before! Watch out for the little guy in the fur coat. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181027 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181027_mounted_27b4889f-a552-4624-85fd-3ad402ee7c4a.jpg?v=1571611022 Be careful how you sit in the chair. It’s broken. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181029 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181029_mounted_a0f98fa9-1816-4734-8a61-1dfaa58ea340.jpg?v=1571611022 I’ll be out of here in 30 seconds, sweetheart. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181030 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181030_mounted_3fe60030-0858-49d5-ab5e-384fa6966923.jpg?v=1571611022 I thought for a minute I'd lost you there but I guess the old stetho's on the blink. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181031 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181031_mounted_9f57ca6f-94df-48e2-872e-feb65b0dadc3.jpg?v=1571611022 You spotted it, eh? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181101 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181101_mounted_c5cc9eaa-3440-435f-aa68-b20709d2b164.jpg?v=1571611022 I wish you wouldn’t talk to me when I’m nailing. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181102 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181102_mounted_02f410cc-1d31-42ab-a8e6-ef46ecd67e78.jpg?v=1571611022 Do we have any more boxes of ‘Fruity-Scoops’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181103 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181103_mounted_7af3d72d-825d-46d9-9d86-db5a2ba89f36.jpg?v=1571611022 Mommy had this kitchen custom built. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181105 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181105_mounted_afd225b8-95eb-4cbf-a955-307c49a8e24f.jpg?v=1571611022 Is it OK if I scream with agony between answering the questions? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181106 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181106_mounted_131a543a-1a09-4e60-88c8-51892e9eedd0.jpg?v=1571611022 They look a lot bigger on TV! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181107 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181107_mounted_9c9cbfa7-3145-4da4-8455-df9c13d0b5a6.jpg?v=1571611022 Can I exchange this for ‘Doggo-Chunks’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181108 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181108_mounted_04ec467c-4dc4-42f3-8a3d-f783d1a16549.jpg?v=1571611022 I don’t care who she votes for. I’m not kissing a kid with measles! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181109 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181109_mounted_de7d72c3-80de-4b36-848b-fd8049be2fcc.jpg?v=1571611023 Open the door. It’s only Mother. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181110 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181110_mounted_e661b256-ac9a-4b75-b885-723c0d149532.jpg?v=1571611023 We don’t want this one — he has the flu. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181112 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181112_mounted_68a566e3-2314-444f-a757-7095a1f602b6.jpg?v=1571611023 Did you see a large woman on a bike go past here? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181113 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181113_mounted_5503e404-e319-40f0-9202-7865f5918db0.jpg?v=1571611023 I know why you never write! You’re too busy digging that stupid tunnel. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181114 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181114_mounted_b027d0b8-493f-4de6-bf0e-8aea5ae0e6e4.jpg?v=1571611023 Do you like cats? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181115 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181115_mounted_38ba1ddd-6477-4d6c-bf1a-1bc44f91620a.jpg?v=1571611023 I just got fired, so I’ll wait for my tip outside the front door! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181116 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181116_mounted_f2621e75-c956-42c5-8366-49e99934dfc9.jpg?v=1571611023 Drat! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181117 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181117_mounted_e84c7f3b-d479-4968-ad84-f4aac41fb4c4.jpg?v=1571611023 Yes, Miller, I heard about your promotion. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181119 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181119_mounted_364c5b9e-2d6c-467a-b0b1-2060c94c5a73.jpg?v=1571611023 Downstairs… eight letters… starts with ‘B.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181120 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181120_mounted_c91fc4d8-b9e1-455b-8e6c-23a779a07e7f.jpg?v=1571611023 Go and find the nearest town and plug this in. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181121 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181121_mounted_a1b558d0-d70e-4cef-a185-99da1752c3e0.jpg?v=1571611023 If you spend over $20, we protect your car from vandalism in our parking lot. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181122 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181122_mounted_ed0f949f-57a6-4c26-bf34-997d0f5af52d.jpg?v=1571611023 Is my portable TV in there again? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181123 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181123_mounted_f65a0fbb-6a3e-4f88-960b-1e8e8f1ee95a.jpg?v=1571611023 Grab your shepherd’s pie. It’s fourth from the top. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181124 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181124_mounted_b3a63697-6179-45d9-b2dc-143190da5d90.jpg?v=1571611023 I’m not hiding my money up here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181127 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181127_mounted_dac4f3f6-e409-4331-9ad5-7f01e11c246d.jpg?v=1571611023 My pottery teacher says it shows great promise. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181128 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181128_mounted_8ca2e375-5aab-4abc-a57a-0d68c55a8cec.jpg?v=1571611023 Hand over all the cash or he starts playing. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181129 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181129_mounted_3964790d-9f71-447b-a3f3-d84863e48ef9.jpg?v=1571611023 I can’t even pronounce what you’ve got! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181130 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181130_mounted_863a9aca-877d-4024-8c8a-f5c99835c8b4.jpg?v=1571611023 I’ll have a table for you in two minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181201 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181201_mounted_1e093b80-45ea-41b2-819a-77a3466a7416.jpg?v=1571611023 I need a tropical fish, 18 inches by 9 1/2 inches. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181203 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181203_mounted_145add87-cf1b-4ae6-acdb-cca23e58ae4a.jpg?v=1571611024 Whaddyer want, 46 essential vitamins or the Star Wars toy? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181204 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181204_mounted_06b94d14-9867-4a87-82d4-932569e99280.jpg?v=1571611024 Do they have things like that on your planet? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181205 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181205_mounted_cf803edf-8863-4dc0-bde3-ab77bd8853c3.jpg?v=1571611024 I thought it was you, your Majesty. I don’t often forget a face. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181206 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181206_mounted_8f006579-a9e6-4417-b4d0-95f34041baeb.jpg?v=1571611024 Oh, oh! It says, ‘Must be eaten before Feb. 2008’. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181207 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181207_mounted_9e14a3a5-78b3-425e-b3ff-3162dae9ab99.jpg?v=1571611024 Don’t look at me like that. It’s ‘evolution.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181208 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181208_mounted_8eb214ee-6078-45ac-8f33-d75555414def.jpg?v=1571611024 He hates it when someone uses his bowl. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181210 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181210_mounted_1aaa097a-3ee3-4c66-80d2-93a2afee001f.jpg?v=1571611024 I can’t understand a word he says! Try him in Spanish. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181211 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181211_mounted_52da34d5-05b7-4b43-9a68-f17da234ea93.jpg?v=1571611024 One step closer and I’ll soak you to the skin. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181212 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181212_mounted_913af43b-08e7-48ea-8db6-02dafbb42cad.jpg?v=1571611024 Why don’t you have a good scream and get it over with. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181213 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181213_mounted_63c0a8d0-8d56-452a-a75f-5cd10537f398.jpg?v=1571611024 Do you have thick carpets in your home? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181214 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181214_mounted_e57b1fcf-9a49-49bc-99c3-46a84554ff28.jpg?v=1571611024 If I bought your burglar alarm, it would be the only thing in here worth stealing. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181215 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181215_mounted_bdf40795-51d4-43eb-8518-0a7e5a1e5236.jpg?v=1571611024 You were sleepwalking again last night. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181217 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181217_mounted_ba5e7722-f962-476f-a21a-bf512c6d0787.jpg?v=1571611024 Of course it’s empty! I had to hide everything. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181218 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181218_mounted_a28d5879-01d3-432a-8d34-2c996831d9f5.jpg?v=1571611024 There’s a F-I-L-E in the C-A-K-E. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181219 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181219_mounted_78970491-85b4-4e59-8939-d05fbb3ab1a9.jpg?v=1571611024 Looking at you, I’d guess your wife doesn’t have exceptionally good taste! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181220 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181220_mounted_313eff3f-d006-4c20-ab00-a85b85e5389f.jpg?v=1571611024 Have you got a medium-sized hummingbird? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181221 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181221_mounted_c8ba1a4b-7c72-4e72-b269-0c8721a452f5.jpg?v=1571611024 How many times have I told you not to start moving till I get my glasses on? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181222 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181222_mounted_73b96ce9-b5fe-42eb-9458-a275272aee45.jpg?v=1571611024 He’s been filling it with food for 47 years! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181224 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181224_mounted_4f013745-1f04-44f2-b546-855d60b21dd3.jpg?v=1571611024 I have to be in bed at eight, so get there about five minutes past. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181225 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181225_mounted_ca6f15a9-6075-49f5-971f-630f23e95092.jpg?v=1571611024 Ho, ho, ho. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181226 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181226_mounted_6b4e8757-a249-4419-900d-b5d98b2fb556.jpg?v=1571611024 Do you want to drive now? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181227 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181227_mounted_114a6087-ff9a-474a-bcad-63b45be1ccf5.jpg?v=1571611024 Your wife’s still standing in the doorway. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181228 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181228_mounted_458b6ec7-7065-4457-8654-60b0b3df2b0b.jpg?v=1571611024 You must be hearing things; my phone wasn’t ringing. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181229 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181229_mounted_067e3ade-da5a-457f-8bc3-1c26ced380ef.jpg?v=1571611024 Operator, how do I make a long-distance call from here? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181231 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181231_mounted_53c69ccc-e93d-4948-82c0-4ded3a888644.jpg?v=1571611024 How come he’s got a leg AND a wing? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190101 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190101_mounted_b5ca8b5f-0ea0-4151-ade9-a4d8b3cf5bb5.jpg?v=1571611024 Don’t keep whistling. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190102 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190102_mounted_3713ee87-8233-4218-a99c-b2ed8b4a10c9.jpg?v=1571611024 Did you lock that balcony door? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190103 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190103_mounted_064efdca-e353-48e3-9688-41ffb8ceef4e.jpg?v=1571611024 Where did you get these eggs? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190104 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190104_mounted_a85f8fe7-5275-4887-a612-960f105a24fe.jpg?v=1571611025 Head office wants us to send someone to the Arctic. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190105 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190105_mounted_47a57368-2bb7-4918-ba78-8e621f603e14.jpg?v=1571611025 I can watch as much crime and violence as I like as long as they all keep their clothes on. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190107 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190107_mounted_cdb1d653-1984-41c8-906c-1bef4f95fc3a.jpg?v=1571611025 Guess what?! I sold that piece of pork pie. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190108 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190108_mounted_618302ca-9cd5-4fbe-9cfc-29c4c2d5aca2.jpg?v=1571611025 Is that for a pool? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190109 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190109_mounted_11422e96-9f5d-411c-a97a-94ed150d8050.jpg?v=1571611025 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190110 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190110_mounted_f8fdad66-ba1b-4bc7-ab00-65ae160ca280.jpg?v=1571611025 D’you mind not shouting ‘peanuts’ while this court is in session? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190111 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190111_mounted_10652e63-f652-4abf-a792-8a1cb01a19ad.jpg?v=1571611025 Ring it again. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190112 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190112_mounted_70e786e2-5c95-4429-9ac2-c346bd3d84b1.jpg?v=1571611025 What do you want, Warden? I’m really busy! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190114 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190114_mounted_fb381d2b-d32e-4505-8450-0b46e372d0c8.jpg?v=1571611025 I think he’s even taller than I was at his age. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190115 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190115_mounted_9563625e-9b2e-48e0-a477-d06480a50060.jpg?v=1571611025 Oh no! That was going straight in the treble-20. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190116 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190116_mounted_6b5b573c-af0b-48e4-a884-fcc98598ada6.jpg?v=1571611025 If we sue for half a million, there should be a couple of hundred in it for you. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190117 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190117_mounted_d1d758e2-844e-4222-9530-4662cf4568e8.jpg?v=1571611025 He said this stuff made his hair turn purple. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190118 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190118_mounted_efe5f0f7-fffd-485b-8a68-edf339dcb6e5.jpg?v=1571611025 I need enough paint for two mountains, five trees and a small lake. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190119 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190119_mounted_6ecf78bb-6d87-42ea-a6a6-72f80d123a53.jpg?v=1571611025 Oh please! I promise I won’t mess it up like last time. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190121 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190121_mounted_e5aa18f5-219e-4b03-b17d-fd142aeec4f3.jpg?v=1571611025 I could have been Miss Universe, but they didn’t have space travel in those days. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190122 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190122_mounted_fb94b3e0-9a8b-4df7-973e-e83ad66cc60d.jpg?v=1571611025 That’s a good speech! It’s the way you’re reading it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190123 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190123_mounted_6e23b83d-94fc-45b0-acb4-7f8b03b003d3.jpg?v=1571611025 Sorry about the inconvenience! We’re having the ceiling painted. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190124 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190124_mounted_c7ae191e-f6be-4f6e-9ab0-50e372771728.jpg?v=1571611025 He said he wanted the menu back to have a good laugh. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190125 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190125_mounted_670312dd-f458-40c3-95fe-e3034f9cd658.jpg?v=1571611025 I think I just found your other blue sock. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190126 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190126_mounted_71928c0a-01e8-4833-90e8-5baa846e7ab0.jpg?v=1571611026 What does that mean, ‘Merchandise returned at your own risk’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190128 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190128_mounted_7d247514-55f8-4703-a942-2de6a8d38fba.jpg?v=1571611026 Watch out for that big fella when you wash the insides. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190129 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190129_mounted_e7f3a3d6-d944-47c1-8428-19f70f75984a.jpg?v=1571611026 I have two daughters! Why do you insist on White Fawn and not Galloping Buffalo? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190130 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190130_mounted_9f3f74b2-bfa1-4adc-85ec-b5d25e6b9017.jpg?v=1571611026 This is a double celebration! I’ve been open six months and you’re my sixth customer. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190131 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190131_mounted_583a30d2-d48c-4a55-bc0a-b3c02bc5284f.jpg?v=1571611026 If you’re going out, don’t let us stop you. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190201 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190201_mounted_c89d8530-cf34-4030-88dd-91bb689ecf28.jpg?v=1571611026 Aren’t you dressed yet! My mother will be here in five minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190202 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190202_mounted_e21819be-1d76-4d95-82cc-4c1dd8e67b4e.jpg?v=1571611026 Okay, my good woman. We’ll go with the ole strawberry shortcake and four spoons. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190204 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190204_mounted_2ab3eae1-4775-4a82-878a-9393752c0949.jpg?v=1571611026 The good news is, I’ve saved you five bucks at the carwash tomorrow. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190205 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190205_mounted_00639eb9-8a40-4e99-93f6-51bee37e06a2.jpg?v=1571611026 That was close! We won by two votes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190206 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190206_mounted_b066a60b-be4f-4c13-8180-182174adf50d.jpg?v=1571611026 He’s swallowed $4 in small change! Can you operate before the stores close? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190207 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190207_mounted_3f5ff924-c6d4-49a2-b5a1-484ded119cfa.jpg?v=1571611026 Every one of the ten character references you provided said you owed them money. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190208 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190208_mounted_8c97b8cc-0d3e-4119-9a39-cf08c7144a66.jpg?v=1571611026 Can I sit up in the front of the plane? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190209 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190209_mounted_ccfbd293-d329-4a90-a708-184814a6e050.jpg?v=1571611026 You want it to look lifelike, don’t you? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190211 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190211_mounted_18668ab3-40a1-4ab8-ba13-4463f7c48f93.jpg?v=1571611026 Tell Williams I’ve decided to make him the new manager in Hawaii. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190212 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190212_mounted_fcdc4ecf-1d4f-45e1-8b3a-fb16133a264a.jpg?v=1571611026 You idiot! I said write, ‘Happy Birthday, Ralph’ on that one. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190213 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190213_mounted_7a0502e4-a4ec-477b-94b7-d55c804d51c1.jpg?v=1571611026 Wait there while I tie up the dog. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190214 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190214_mounted_8be4b247-67e6-4247-9494-c198036616c7.jpg?v=1571611026 I don’t need the warranty, I’ll bring it back if it doesn’t work. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190215 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190215_mounted_7ebe4c83-deda-419c-8ef1-6d15eac3a6c6.jpg?v=1571611026 There’s someone here now, Steve. I’ll call you back in five minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190216 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190216_mounted_8f6e3f83-67e7-4174-8068-1bc9dc90bf48.jpg?v=1571611026 He’s swallowed my clockwork mouse! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190218 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190218_mounted_475e7adb-0887-495c-98e1-0398d0f18059.jpg?v=1571611026 Don’t play with your father’s pulley! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190219 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190219_mounted_19cb6fa2-fc0e-4fc7-8442-c42bca35a8d1.jpg?v=1571611026 D’you wanna wait for the next one? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190220 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190220_mounted_1312b81e-9597-4534-9f48-250cd67543b8.jpg?v=1571611026 He ate that whole chocolate cake in the fridge to protest the current economic situation in Poland. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190221 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190221_mounted_b9597141-5655-41b6-b48e-50e7918b195a.jpg?v=1571611026 I live across the hall. Got any spare outlets you’re not using? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190222 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190222_mounted_ff301c9a-83e0-4fce-b408-41ea73010456.jpg?v=1571611026 I’m not going to tell you again, buddy: Get out of those flowers. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190223 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190223_mounted_364cdfe4-4e6a-456b-971e-a3c83d222422.jpg?v=1571611026 As my official food-taster, you’ll be upholding the proud tradition of your 16 predecessors. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190225 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190225_mounted_ed473d96-0b17-4dd0-9dd9-19965832825a.jpg?v=1571611026 Grandma, if you bought a motorbike, we could both use it! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190226 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190226_mounted_6a0ecbaf-5972-4472-822c-7cd6bbaf5561.jpg?v=1571611026 Tell him! I was here first, wasn’t I? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190227 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190227_mounted_72ad2aa9-7409-42c3-b5b9-a3ea7ae828fc.jpg?v=1571611026 I reviewed your salary, as you requested. We’re paying you too much! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190228 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190228_mounted_9cc803e2-0a7c-448b-a3a5-ca53bb526375.jpg?v=1571611026 D’you wanna buy any Girl Guide cookies? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190301 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190301_mounted_3158010c-d371-4803-ba32-162ea775d459.jpg?v=1571611027 There’s a monk trapped in the elevator. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190302 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190302_mounted_6b00bf0f-9524-43c4-a1f2-0a31552a2c4c.jpg?v=1571611027 ‘Harry’, she said, ‘I wanna marry you for your money’! And we’ve been happy ever since. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190304 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190304_mounted_41dddcee-9612-4b07-b35c-f5d35faa2a65.jpg?v=1571611027 I hired you to sweep the floor. Leave the customers alone! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190305 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190305_mounted_4e145036-f144-4a12-bc40-d8232677701d.jpg?v=1571611027 Stand by for the earthquake. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190306 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190306_mounted_22cb4860-41b8-4053-97cb-bf1728422c40.jpg?v=1571611027 Hold on! Back up to that part about ‘love, honor and obey.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190307 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190307_mounted_5b9722b8-24e8-4ffe-9763-b84a937f8775.jpg?v=1571611027 D’you want the piano in the living room? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190308 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190308_mounted_3aeb68bf-26e4-40e3-8860-c4f5735c3121.jpg?v=1571611027 I like the facelift, but my wife thinks my ears are a touch too high. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190309 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190309_mounted_4976c0ae-98fe-4ffe-b933-5deeeee9f6a7.jpg?v=1571611027 Charlie Innertube, one day your name will be a household word! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190311 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190311_mounted_fb127182-7227-42f5-9be8-c6188297f98c.jpg?v=1571611027 Where were you? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190312 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190312_mounted_42d62ea5-7bb8-4846-96a3-ac2942138d11.jpg?v=1571611027 I wish you wouldn’t buy this cheap catsup. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190313 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190313_mounted_a2b35b1b-6c15-4974-9160-949e1615beec.jpg?v=1571611027 I’ve only got two pairs of hands, you know! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190314 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190314_mounted_221e5605-b676-4b7c-ab8b-1c26e5a89a8c.jpg?v=1571611027 He was trapped on a ledge, 36 floors up. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190315 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190315_mounted_f4486b8d-9d9a-42e2-95d6-6e56d6e4818d.jpg?v=1571611027 You’re a real prize, you are, Bentley! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190316 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190316_mounted_b6e7c2a5-9495-47d8-8fc1-7b900e642588.jpg?v=1571611027 Too big? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190318 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190318_mounted_4e14437d-1ded-4115-b4b3-f95b699d0098.jpg?v=1571611027 Quick, take a look! There’s a guy walking out of our house carrying the T. V. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190319 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190319_mounted_ac89843e-456e-48ba-8943-090d97c9938c.jpg?v=1571611027 I let my sister use the hammock. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190320 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190320_mounted_61c37f03-2872-41fb-9360-56edb763465b.jpg?v=1571611027 I said, ‘Round up a POSSE’! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190321 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190321_mounted_b696e5c4-c6ed-4def-b3af-2068fc6f35e5.jpg?v=1571611027 I’m warning you, Rodney, I want you home by ten o’clock, and no later. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190322 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190322_mounted_b8248a17-bfe2-4356-b6fc-4f63c3144920.jpg?v=1571611027 It says ‘Do not feed.’ Look at your best coat! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190323 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190323_mounted_e52ef560-c671-4738-8159-6a3ff3cf9f15.jpg?v=1571611027 Which credit card d’you want – R. G. Williams, Miss S. Peters or the Rev. J. Thomas? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190325 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190325_mounted_33ff9f74-1dbc-4de1-b3b6-ecfe88b73cf4.jpg?v=1571611027 You said you wanted a large family. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190326 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190326_mounted_966ea089-668a-47a7-a920-0c86c8370878.jpg?v=1571611027 I think for our own safety, we should leave this lot alone for another few thousand years. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190327 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190327_mounted_9af7cd0f-56d7-4f06-b61c-8910384cc2a8.jpg?v=1571611027 That bamboo chair you sold me is still alive! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190328 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190328_mounted_00c4051c-b94b-4e17-92f1-daea3807b0f7.jpg?v=1571611027 It’s homemade alphabet soup! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190329 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190329_mounted_ed28d06e-1cd7-475f-bef1-461badea70f6.jpg?v=1571611027 Two months to select my jury and they found me guilty in 17 seconds. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190330 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190330_mounted_fb633025-c1a0-49a9-bb1f-d99aef14b8b8.jpg?v=1571611027 They’re almost human! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190401 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190401_mounted_ee5cbce2-184a-4b32-a0ae-1a78dabb0577.jpg?v=1571611027 Dad, which part of the chicken is the noodle? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190402 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190402_mounted_e96c471d-2d9f-46c1-83fe-a35bf6020824.jpg?v=1571611027 I’ve nearly finished this. Got any furniture polish? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190403 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190403_mounted_8b7c92b8-6979-41fa-adc1-da1537d5e34b.jpg?v=1571611027 Go and tell Mommy that Daddy forgot his key. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190404 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190404_mounted_f79b405d-d745-43a4-9fe5-dcebc708ccc8.jpg?v=1571611028 You say you were inside robbing the bank and someone stole your car? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190405 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190405_mounted_dbd01e50-7025-4783-9ffd-77b41b754f67.jpg?v=1571611028 Does that say ‘help wanted’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190406 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190406_mounted_e1ad60d1-730e-4562-9e5f-602ebb7588bf.jpg?v=1571611028 All I can say is, I’m glad I didn’t eat any of it! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190408 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190408_mounted_40f7e18b-5d0d-4425-a922-6663d9d8872f.jpg?v=1571611028 This is called ‘Reclining nude.’ I don’t think the children should be looking at it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190409 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190409_mounted_768412bb-fcac-4310-b1d5-af5314360e8f.jpg?v=1571611028 When are they supposed to be coming to fix that TV? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190410 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190410_mounted_53664e20-336f-4b1f-b106-149346e19094.jpg?v=1571611028 An eagle came straight through the ceiling and grabbed the goldfish. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190411 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190411_mounted_19b0af76-6ca1-4ce0-ad07-5096ce31869d.jpg?v=1571611028 I thought so! You’re not chewing your food. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190412 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190412_mounted_b1ad3fdf-46fe-443f-85d8-116001feff28.jpg?v=1571611028 Something tells me I’m in for a very long day. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190413 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190413_mounted_99969ae5-d2dc-4f34-9861-86832db1398b.jpg?v=1571611028 I didn’t have a button, so I cut the hole off. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190415 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190415_mounted_dd5d87b1-dfa7-41ba-9907-199cc6d765ea.jpg?v=1571611028 I’ll have to charge extra for that one. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190416 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190416_mounted_9de644d2-8321-4902-8e66-61653738b77a.jpg?v=1571611028 Is that you? You’ve only been surfing five minutes! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190417 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190417_mounted_5fabc2aa-1ad4-433c-821a-3b8596176659.jpg?v=1571611028 Are you sure you’re comfortable like that? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190418 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190418_mounted_05b9e9cd-493c-4f2e-ba79-06518242f533.jpg?v=1571611028 I’m not interested in what you like. I’m the one who has to look at it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190419 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190419_mounted_e72828a8-b6fc-4e11-9529-8ba4d5e99e58.jpg?v=1571611028 He only went hunting once. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190420 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190420_mounted_745a182c-ebff-46a4-b6fa-f74981138a6a.jpg?v=1571611028 Maybe it’s some sort of omen! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190422 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190422_mounted_0706dd40-7ccc-4002-98d6-81dc9a541d75.jpg?v=1571611028 Did you fire Williams in ‘Fruit & Vegetables’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190423 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190423_mounted_d65c0159-4c3a-442e-9c77-3772bb2c49c5.jpg?v=1571611028 I can’t get comfortable! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190424 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190424_mounted_7f98941c-0bea-43c7-8e35-5b8559ed91fd.jpg?v=1571611028 Can you get that guy’s teeth out of there? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190425 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190425_mounted_9b5b6fd2-d3f4-4229-a449-349bcf68dd51.jpg?v=1571611028 There is another Savoy Grille downtown. Maybe you were supposed to meet her there. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190426 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190426_mounted_28dcc517-760f-45ed-a7d0-be86368ff421.jpg?v=1571611028 Cleo, get off of there and let this nice man sit down. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190427 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190427_mounted_3a54b1c9-9e38-4926-a2b2-393c223b5326.jpg?v=1571611028 It comes with three vegetables: two peas and a carrot. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190429 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190429_mounted_2df9b187-0266-4b33-8ea3-4c311d44c4ed.jpg?v=1571611028 Don’t stop singing! You’ve got a nice voice. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190430 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190430_mounted_b134f085-ea5d-46de-9fe7-f27ae0e05ab9.jpg?v=1571611028 D’you want your coffee now, Captain? We’ve hit an iceberg. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190501 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190501_mounted_5a54aba1-8024-41b9-a7f1-ac7979a15b75.jpg?v=1571611028 Maybe your account’s overdrawn! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190502 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190502_mounted_c80f3caf-bc45-4e7a-8c78-4f1168620de0.jpg?v=1571611028 Don’t forget, grandpa — when my friends get here, I told them you knew Julius Caesar. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190503 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190503_mounted_5550b6e5-3fc7-4de0-9412-7664c72d647c.jpg?v=1571611028 I’d say I pretty much run things around here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190504 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190504_mounted_5c935ab2-2bb7-4514-b670-e5abc21f9546.jpg?v=1571611028 Got one of these? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190506 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190506_mounted_0ca08e62-d568-4321-b461-a34c9442a7d2.jpg?v=1571611028 Did he say he was coming back, or what? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190507 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190507_mounted_8cd8890d-a163-476d-a879-7b352237a22f.jpg?v=1571611029 You just poured boiling oil over the window cleaner! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190508 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190508_mounted_42584557-d9f3-47de-9ec7-6d749419de39.jpg?v=1571611029 Whatever made you think plant food would make your hair grow? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190509 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190509_mounted_1d941e04-47d6-442c-ac06-7fb48b49fdb4.jpg?v=1571611029 We’re having a tough time managing on your son’s allowance. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190510 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190510_mounted_148e76b6-44e4-4599-b2f4-56bf2f11eb67.jpg?v=1571611029 Don’t look at me! Look to the front. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190511 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190511_mounted_586a9c71-9b5c-48e2-8bb3-a8969108584f.jpg?v=1571611029 Tell me a funny joke, He’ll stop you if I’ve heard it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190513 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190513_mounted_0da4c37c-ba35-41c4-8cd3-ed28ad95ace7.jpg?v=1571611029 I wish you’d sit down, Lily. I never win when you keep pacing around. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190514 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190514_mounted_49749432-5db9-47b0-8b8c-c6f1ec7d8509.jpg?v=1571611029 My wife bought this and I want to return it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190515 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190515_mounted_3e520d1f-ecf3-4bd7-b8de-f9889895d08c.jpg?v=1571611029 I’ll have a teeny-bopper-burger-razzle and she wants a coffee. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190516 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190516_mounted_974b0eea-0d53-4fe4-9e70-b0323501a0f4.jpg?v=1571611029 I make mistakes to keep you on your toes! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190517 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190517_mounted_20a063f6-2696-4904-9887-8fb4c091cca3.jpg?v=1571611029 Who ordered the giant clams? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190518 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190518_mounted_954a7873-6ec9-413b-a4de-8b2ee4bb758a.jpg?v=1571611029 If you don’t think you can make it into work tomorrow, give me a call. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190520 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190520_mounted_bfa35894-d267-4c6e-aee8-0e8d8cfd8a69.jpg?v=1571611029 Do you feel anything yet? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190521 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190521_mounted_54c07194-807b-43cd-867a-38787146f8dc.jpg?v=1571611029 I don’t care who you are! Take your hat off in this restaurant. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190522 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190522_mounted_658bbe9b-8338-4cfc-a87b-18d8ef4c8e05.jpg?v=1571611029 Yes, skydiving! He’s going for his first jump tomorrow. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190523 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190523_mounted_3dbe2d1f-507b-482d-9f0f-62f9d05d57d1.jpg?v=1571611029 It went around twice and stopped on 18. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190524 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190524_mounted_88f880cd-cfe1-401b-90d1-5d3dd8694ab7.jpg?v=1571611029 I can only see two in there! Did one escape? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190525 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190525_mounted_3c3d903e-7acc-4982-a4fa-4119107de45d.jpg?v=1571611029 How did things go at divorce court? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190527 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190527_mounted_d12eb559-d252-4273-8487-754c1b8a132c.jpg?v=1571611029 Lily, give me a price on those beekeeper hats. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190528 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190528_mounted_bac9b48c-e020-43b6-83c8-6c4079fd2e1d.jpg?v=1571611029 Is that your idea of exercise — buying a book on jogging? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190529 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190529_mounted_d6089c90-237c-44f9-b15f-ee1b387f266b.jpg?v=1571611029 Look what your dog did to my costume! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190530 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190530_mounted_325bb027-d334-418c-8cee-df8895df2a59.jpg?v=1571611029 Someone broke in while we were asleep. They left $20! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190531 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190531_mounted_a6f18b2b-5abb-4ac8-b369-0b3a0389f202.jpg?v=1571611029 I like it fairly short and parted in the middle. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190601 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190601_mounted_6980167c-4a62-45f2-b5cb-6e7bc5c73799.jpg?v=1571611029 This is my wife’s twin brother, Arnold. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190603 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190603_mounted_7635d50d-6cfb-4884-9fc1-6ebfb8e7d18e.jpg?v=1571611029 We’ll have to have dinner out; the toaster’s broken. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190604 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190604_mounted_14d8763b-5c56-43ba-92b6-d45b6ba4c66f.jpg?v=1571611029 Can the police give you a speeding ticket in a car wash? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190605 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190605_mounted_cd90dcb4-72f7-4d2f-960c-a23938bb5523.jpg?v=1571611030 Have you got this same chair in dark brown? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190606 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190606_mounted_e5fb148a-efdc-4cd3-9dca-081c070b7d85.jpg?v=1571611030 We need a bicycle built for two – and one for me. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190607 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190607_mounted_dbfc9fec-0e33-4a6a-8442-e47fc11af921.jpg?v=1571611030 Every cloud has a silver lining! Now you’ve got two swords. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190608 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190608_mounted_388ef9ad-168c-4520-9555-69e0624a3ff0.jpg?v=1571611030 You gotta be real fast when you’re painting ducks! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190610 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190610_mounted_699c7004-66d4-4240-97e6-ec81b57251d8.jpg?v=1571611030 Why do they call you, ‘the elephant man’? You look perfectly normal to me. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190611 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190611_mounted_d9c4337c-9b9e-4090-a2a3-86218209f5ea.jpg?v=1571611030 Nice shot! That one crossed 12 lanes and wiped out the coffee machine. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190612 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190612_mounted_902d088c-935b-4e4e-bc26-ccc347a771fa.jpg?v=1571611030 I got the car in the garage, but I had to go through the kitchen. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190613 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190613_mounted_a38c2d22-ae18-4290-b1b8-cdc425d9717b.jpg?v=1571611030 I don’t usually borrow stuff from strangers, but I like your face. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190614 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190614_mounted_d2a0ff50-1d45-454d-ad0a-b5a596826f4d.jpg?v=1571611030 Did you hear me whining when your show was on? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190615 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190615_mounted_7646bd82-9913-4f79-bdd3-0d504c253d7a.jpg?v=1571611030 I’ll get the check. Pass your money under the table. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190617 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190617_mounted_a858c8db-ebeb-4211-af0e-72956c8ead95.jpg?v=1571611030 D’you wanna stay here tonight or sleep on the beach and eat? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190618 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190618_mounted_e97c2002-cf52-46cd-9d75-3c9b69f20f75.jpg?v=1571611030 I made two dozen chocolate chip cookies. Can you eat all of them? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190619 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190619_mounted_b08d7199-5852-46dc-9f7c-9cf40e17de42.jpg?v=1571611030 Have you got any books on how to overcome shyness? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190620 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190620_mounted_3715db19-c464-4177-b6b4-42068b4fe02a.jpg?v=1571611030 One of you two will be my next sales manager. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190622 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190622_mounted_97840420-2883-4f66-93ad-31fee4b51182.jpg?v=1571611030 Don’t bother undressing. I’ll turn up the power. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190624 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190624_mounted_b68ca037-5245-4d5a-a39b-e5035ce299a4.jpg?v=1571611030 Biggest bug I ever saw! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190625 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190625_mounted_09e9b473-7474-4781-ad7e-2e7e36e07f35.jpg?v=1571611030 Anything for 22A? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190626 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190626_mounted_942c7780-e805-4967-a9a7-cae796100f1c.jpg?v=1571611030 I know we haven’t got your size without even looking! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190627 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190627_mounted_136c54fa-73fa-4738-b751-93b102aaa996.jpg?v=1571611030 You’ve been overfeeding my horse again, Smithers! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190628 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190628_mounted_82f70c63-3b06-4bd2-85ce-fc98e5862e6b.jpg?v=1571611030 Here, you wanted to be plant manager. Take care of this! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190629 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190629_mounted_f6c590d6-a5ad-487d-ab97-7f48588e65ee.jpg?v=1571611030 Can I buy half of one and get the other half free? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190701 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190701_mounted_f43f7d00-da2b-47e6-bd7e-bfbb9a3e1aab.jpg?v=1571611030 When you grow up, make sure you marry a mechanic. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190702 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190702_mounted_bf573ce7-38d6-4e2d-bd11-f1906c7af995.jpg?v=1571611030 He needs a set by Friday. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190703 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190703_mounted_0ae9b9dc-b4f2-439e-ad9d-7b6ff5e35dfd.jpg?v=1571611030 I told you yesterday — you can’t come in without wearing a tie. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190704 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190704_mounted_5572d54e-12a4-43c5-8e23-808c8439047f.jpg?v=1571611030 The invitation said ‘informal dress’, so I borrowed one from my sister. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190705 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190705_mounted_093cfe50-59bc-4b2d-826f-5b5433d44a26.jpg?v=1571611030 Joycey, what’s the best stuff for split ends? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190706 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190706_mounted_5e642b5e-e998-4fbd-90b3-db828df3e829.jpg?v=1571611030 Your wife tells me you’re making some bookshelves. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190708 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190708_mounted_ed56fa87-7dfd-43a6-98ae-6b5faa4bd3ed.jpg?v=1571611030 I need 400 of these and a pair of hinges. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190709 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190709_mounted_d06af375-d42f-40cb-a0ce-cf40c92046d2.jpg?v=1571611030 You dropped your sheet of glass back there! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190710 2026-07-21T07:53:13-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190710_mounted_6a8ebfaf-240e-4127-805d-72ac7fab0c9a.jpg?v=1571611031 Cover your left eye, Madame.