https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190711 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190711_mounted_87f69141-4548-443b-ae67-0bf1801e8b3c.jpg?v=1571611031 There’s the check and here’s a photo of my wife and kids. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190712 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190712_mounted_4402d43f-3659-498c-8d04-86b28ee475a5.jpg?v=1571611031 Want me to try to get you a private ward? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190713 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190713_mounted_aecea0d9-43fd-4fe6-a02b-47d3d8dee1b7.jpg?v=1571611031 Room 1708 doesn’t have a plug for the bath! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190715 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190715_mounted_8afea1f5-cd97-41ca-a344-c5e60251113b.jpg?v=1571611031 If we don’t find a gas station soon, Wilkins, I’m going to have to take a rest. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190716 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190716_mounted_4b51d267-44e0-4fc5-adc0-47ea180379c3.jpg?v=1571611031 Large coffee to go and make sure the lid’s on tight. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190717 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190717_mounted_af84840f-5e49-4da9-a8ef-994238c29e8f.jpg?v=1571611031 If you get any worse, can I keep your paint roller? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190718 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190718_mounted_dea0e397-de99-4d92-9017-f97ae19f53c2.jpg?v=1571611031 Your job application says you like meeting the public. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190719 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190719_mounted_1796f487-f939-49f7-bf5a-fe73fcb9d931.jpg?v=1571611031 I’m looking for an uninhabited island with a fantastic night life. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190720 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190720_mounted_4de5ba3c-94d4-44be-afad-77d255d04f3a.jpg?v=1571611031 Are these green ones emeralds? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190722 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190722_mounted_20a6c7b0-99be-40ba-be87-cdf1c18c6587.jpg?v=1571611031 I see you spent the last 12 years in the Navy. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190723 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190723_mounted_7ee51aab-8b56-46d1-93c3-9bf64a0de38e.jpg?v=1571611031 How did you say that without moving your lips? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190724 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190724_mounted_a7bf4a68-8c52-4ac8-8cdf-c938d93ee465.jpg?v=1571611031 As soon as I got married, I saved every spare nickel. Now I’ve got eight bucks! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190725 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190725_mounted_46af5daf-625e-4a9e-b486-53489c6a55e4.jpg?v=1571611031 Your honor, with 85 previous acquittals, my client has a faultless record. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190726 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190726_mounted_e15373ad-a611-4545-a631-5330ce9ef947.jpg?v=1571611031 That guy who said the coffee tasted funny left without paying! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190727 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190727_mounted_826f497b-29ac-480b-afad-ff18f96d830d.jpg?v=1571611031 I know what you got me for my birthday. It was on the 11 o’clock news. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190729 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190729_mounted_8478d63e-532e-45e5-909b-4ee84ca90b6e.jpg?v=1571611031 Banana milkshake and two straws. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190730 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190730_mounted_25e5bda9-4654-499c-93ce-d798fb3a6ddc.jpg?v=1571611031 You’re absolutely certain this one’s mine? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190731 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190731_mounted_6530c557-3cd7-4539-85be-20af443aa856.jpg?v=1571611031 Are both of you suffering from double vision? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190801 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190801_mounted_fda86cb7-0528-4021-9354-902a64610512.jpg?v=1571611031 Pull out as much as you want. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190802 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190802_mounted_d4e2c48a-841e-4133-bb9c-0c02353258c9.jpg?v=1571611031 Tea! I said I wanted a small tea! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190803 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190803_mounted_b2b40383-76e6-4014-9db6-a4d58991487f.jpg?v=1571611031 It says right here. You’re not supposed to open the lid during the spin cycle. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190805 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190805_mounted_4002d3ad-98c6-4291-98e1-5510790260d8.jpg?v=1571611031 I fell asleep on the beach, reading a newspaper. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190806 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190806_mounted_623d2057-f0c1-4bc5-9364-624ed3764fb8.jpg?v=1571611032 Either you buy me a bike or I’m gonna get myself adopted. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190807 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190807_mounted_bff7e86c-579c-41cf-842b-222a553eaf05.jpg?v=1571611032 Remember, only bend the ones which are not marked ‘do not bend.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190808 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190808_mounted_af7597cd-8e6d-4671-a67e-aac7c9efa362.jpg?v=1571611032 Nobody’s leaving! Why don’t you start singing one of your songs? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190809 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190809_mounted_aead6728-dc37-429f-8a0b-7038356462bd.jpg?v=1571611032 Cash or charge? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190810 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190810_mounted_e3c0774c-00a2-435d-85bf-2c8e1dd35c0e.jpg?v=1571611032 It’s marked ‘urgent’ so I read it on the way over. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190812 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190812_mounted_5634c19c-799f-41ab-ad26-3a2180db9c0a.jpg?v=1571611032 It’s homemade bread! D’you want two slices? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190813 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190813_mounted_d08c1083-e66d-4926-9f0c-5af9c73ef8f6.jpg?v=1571611032 I nearly didn’t come with all that rain. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190814 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190814_mounted_d12d28fe-e5a8-4601-a190-507a8dc29ba7.jpg?v=1571611032 Dad, I’m starting grade six soon. I guess this is where ‘the generation gap’ begins. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190815 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190815_mounted_0070b0b8-bfde-4897-a7fd-2744ba7edd51.jpg?v=1571611032 Anyone here eat the pork chops? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190816 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190816_mounted_37d17dba-1d0e-4a49-8b52-b49a7ba67359.jpg?v=1571611032 Two hamburgers, one coffee and a bucket of water. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190817 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190817_mounted_395a1f74-3c1a-49ba-9eab-dfdf72dc3228.jpg?v=1571611032 Let’s go, Rex. It’s time for your piano lessons. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190819 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190819_mounted_4ed92578-ffcb-4e6e-ad52-60daf47c7aa6.jpg?v=1571611032 Come on! Tell the nice man how much you want to borrow. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190820 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190820_mounted_a849c45a-d83e-40e2-929b-98d5b3f4972b.jpg?v=1571611032 Take one capsule tonight, and if there’s no improvement by tomorrow morning, take the whole bottle. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190821 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190821_mounted_393fdc14-53f8-4510-befc-e24f4dc38a2f.jpg?v=1571611032 He was an unmanageable 6’2 when I married him. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190822 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190822_mounted_33c5598a-e4f2-40dc-a0ee-ae98f7a7d7c0.jpg?v=1571611032 I can’t seem to make up my mind about this one! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190823 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190823_mounted_0c042f4c-9f14-464f-89d2-f6ec8c888be0.jpg?v=1571611032 Aw c’mon doc, let me borrow a mirror. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190824 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190824_mounted_638be68f-4948-4e84-a974-48a54e28bf43.jpg?v=1571611032 Where are you hopping off to? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190826 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190826_mounted_605215fe-b2a1-45cf-b1d0-d1df785da8f5.jpg?v=1571611032 What was that cyclist shouting about back there? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190827 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190827_mounted_32c93907-289b-4879-9131-0e6c3c33c082.jpg?v=1571611032 They don’t allow those on my planet. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190828 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190828_mounted_520253e2-afcf-4c45-ad51-efa049d9a66e.jpg?v=1571611032 I’ll take another bottle of this after-shave. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190829 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190829_mounted_3a984306-aaf7-441a-ab0c-5fcf8435d921.jpg?v=1571611032 I told you not to lay in the bath all afternoon! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190830 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190830_mounted_10dd3d8c-0613-41e2-a5e2-77b1a03f8559.jpg?v=1571611032 Quick, put it on. Someone’s coming! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190831 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190831_mounted_2b68beb2-0f3f-466a-9d4f-3a9e4722e978.jpg?v=1571611032 Now I suppose you’re gonna sulk because I wouldn’t give you the afternoon off! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190902 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190902_mounted_4f83969c-0d4d-4621-abc1-d22063bdb193.jpg?v=1571611032 I’ll have a coffee and a Danish to go. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190903 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190903_mounted_13b66211-0b61-415c-8d17-0d094682afce.jpg?v=1571611032 As I wasn’t too busy, I made you my international award-winning hamburger deluxe. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190904 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190904_mounted_5726bdee-0b60-4f74-9f23-30b8f7c961be.jpg?v=1571611032 I don’t mind you reading over my shoulder, but don’t start doing the crossword puzzle. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190905 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190905_mounted_62b0a259-fe67-48d1-a317-fe19be212b01.jpg?v=1571611032 Your honor, before the jury retires to reach a verdict my client wishes to present each of them with a little gift of jewelry. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190906 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190906_mounted_10d924f9-cd2a-40f8-bfe2-9dab0b01b41e.jpg?v=1571611033 Look, you’re 103 years old, you’ve got to start taking better care of yourself. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190907 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190907_mounted_bba65e3b-6b7a-47b1-9c92-2a5ba4507903.jpg?v=1571611033 Have you got a 24-slice toaster? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190909 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190909_mounted_208fd41b-a715-4507-bacd-f8f2d269c68a.jpg?v=1571611033 Dad, a guy at school said we all came from humans. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190910 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190910_mounted_4787ac14-1822-4bba-8fe6-f23124a1bbac.jpg?v=1571611033 If you’re so smart, how come the world was in such a mess before I got here? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190911 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190911_mounted_0002e122-3ce5-4598-8e83-cb13e819333c.jpg?v=1571611033 You’d better remove your make-up. I’ve got some good news. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190912 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190912_mounted_61da9124-97cf-4ed1-b848-914634f1c94a.jpg?v=1571611033 What did you expect to find in oxtail soup? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190913 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190913_mounted_c7ad1ffb-1046-4241-ba49-7cf27fc697c2.jpg?v=1571611033 I don’t mind the 17th floor as long as I have 64 sheets. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190914 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190914_mounted_1817cd4f-816d-4c97-b2dc-1f749ae8144b.jpg?v=1571611033 Will you keep the noise down! We’re trying to have a party next door. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190916 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190916_mounted_f6c77b96-853f-443a-a64a-71e2d00ad787.jpg?v=1571611033 Can you change a $100 bill? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190917 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190917_mounted_040416f3-226d-48dc-8a4a-2c1bd7533821.jpg?v=1571611033 Whad’dyer mean triplets! He was here first. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190918 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190918_mounted_a11d49e1-acb5-42bd-81b6-5a8da33634bc.jpg?v=1571611033 I hate bothering you, but my wife wants to know if she passed her driver’s test. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190919 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190919_mounted_5128ef1b-86f3-438b-bb57-df4220024140.jpg?v=1571611033 As soon as he’s finished, rush that glass of water over to table nine. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190920 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190920_mounted_3c69019d-5e77-459c-a514-bcef28cbb0de.jpg?v=1571611033 He wants to give us $1,000 to use the moon for a few days! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190921 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190921_mounted_04a81a4c-b4b6-4395-81f2-e778ee012c22.jpg?v=1571611033 Why did you move your plate? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190924 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190924_mounted_bf9ecc80-c692-4e3c-8e7e-a5fccaa52c09.jpg?v=1571611033 So this is Dotty, your wife. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190925 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190925_mounted_52637355-c555-4766-aa55-5f2d8b369a5b.jpg?v=1571611033 D’you mind if I take a photo? It’s not often we get a 15-cent tip. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190926 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190926_mounted_cae5b29a-3eda-47f5-8b34-e4fd433fdf33.jpg?v=1571611033 I’ll have to X-ray your arm again. This one is overexposed. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190927 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190927_mounted_07dde737-aa88-47a5-a3b9-3ffeb9819ed8.jpg?v=1571611033 Haven’t you got one in English? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190928 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190928_mounted_2168e433-b323-457d-b46d-1124fc414ec8.jpg?v=1571611033 I can’t eat anymore of these turquoise peas! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190930 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190930_mounted_04ec4717-3676-4739-9e68-dd43eafde7f6.jpg?v=1571611033 You’re the one who kept telling me you were a ‘go-getter.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191001 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191001_mounted_57b71aa3-ba5c-454c-8938-c45f4e652e8b.jpg?v=1571611033 Simpson, bring me an order of onion rings and move that candle further down the table. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191002 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191002_mounted_4f307df3-76ea-4b6a-a24a-c9ab0b40125a.jpg?v=1571611033 That was my ex-boyfriend’s car! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191003 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191003_mounted_90585032-7a06-4921-8e75-1e3c0a063751.jpg?v=1571611034 I hear you’re looking for an aggressive salesman. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191004 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191004_mounted_bf6387fc-5141-45fc-a9b1-6da0958f2bc3.jpg?v=1571611034 Is it too tight across the shoulders? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191005 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191005_mounted_3ba5bc0b-0606-4828-b492-d04e9fdde19d.jpg?v=1571611034 I’ll have a cheeseburger and a root beer. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191007 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191007_mounted_bcb3d0c1-d0cd-481c-8867-cc42b2756c48.jpg?v=1571611034 Welcome to planet Earth. Is your mother home? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191008 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191008_mounted_041fd3b3-c44b-47e0-803c-64c578613453.jpg?v=1571611034 I’m your new secretary. Am I an hour late or 23 hours early? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191009 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191009_mounted_a2ab02b7-cd62-427d-8ebd-c56727e425e1.jpg?v=1571611034 It’s a pity you’re unemployed! You need a couple of weeks off work. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191010 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191010_mounted_0e565dfa-9fc4-4712-9592-882abbe209ce.jpg?v=1571611034 I can’t understand anyone being afraid of dogs. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191011 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191011_mounted_eee2ecea-0171-4aa2-b198-10af6cf258b8.jpg?v=1571611034 I lost the key for my padlock! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191012 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191012_mounted_6ce14e87-9f93-4e20-98f7-db1cb1211c61.jpg?v=1571611034 I told you not to eat popcorn while you’ve got hiccups. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191014 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191014_mounted_57c0e717-559d-42c6-a15d-a766b4ea8ff2.jpg?v=1571611034 Here’s one you’ll love! Two weeks in an open boat without food and water. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191015 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191015_mounted_53a4ba40-825e-43bd-9eb0-ecaf28132d50.jpg?v=1571611034 I know it’s your birthday soon, but what can I buy a woman who has everything? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191016 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191016_mounted_29262c28-328a-4cda-ae6c-35f3b9ad0f4d.jpg?v=1571611034 He’s only been at his company for a year and already he’s getting the minimum wage! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191017 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191017_mounted_3cfeb500-1ca5-44af-85ae-b00247ab4c48.jpg?v=1571611034 I wonder why they make these finger bandages so long? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191018 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191018_mounted_103fed74-e757-4a89-bc1a-fd1e34ada292.jpg?v=1571611034 That’s the last time we’ll use this hospital! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191019 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191019_mounted_2f543c17-4308-4535-b3e1-6391643cbdeb.jpg?v=1571611034 All the cups are dirty. D’you want your coffee in that? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191021 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191021_mounted_b81c2c5b-36a6-42aa-97b4-bb947fe1cfb1.jpg?v=1571611034 Be careful with the wine. I had trouble getting the cork out. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191022 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191022_mounted_e3b6c519-533e-4ce6-bdd3-36879802ca5a.jpg?v=1571611034 Is the war over? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191023 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191023_mounted_1ed81bc7-345e-4831-bad3-f08e66139798.jpg?v=1571611034 Got a dog to fit that? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191024 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191024_mounted_cb80f4d9-36fa-44de-9d4f-6cdaf67223a6.jpg?v=1571611034 D’you buy used cats? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191025 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191025_mounted_7e6714e9-a278-4299-812b-d7f8e866de50.jpg?v=1571611034 Your friend Muriel is going through Harry’s pockets again! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191026 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191026_mounted_d6002ed0-05a8-4504-8158-80d424cfdbba.jpg?v=1571611034 Whoever shouted ‘Turkey’ was correct. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191028 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191028_mounted_1708289f-a256-4778-ae0a-046fc978f0dd.jpg?v=1571611034 Now scrape that off the carpet and serve it to him on a clean plate. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191029 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191029_mounted_1b76f5e4-a727-4b8c-86f8-b7377f2d2fb0.jpg?v=1571611034 The mailman’s been here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191030 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191030_mounted_a0103b19-0d88-4391-8a41-8a9765b00eb3.jpg?v=1571611034 Of course it’s half eaten! You said you wanted the Chef’s salad. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191031 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191031_mounted_e3e3c79d-9435-4d4c-8b7c-b9d24140d62c.jpg?v=1571611034 When are you going to face the fact that you’re a lousy pick-pocket? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191101 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191101_mounted_822954ea-0b7e-4868-b000-369dabbd9fde.jpg?v=1571611034 I was wondering how you’d play that shot. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191102 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191102_mounted_e8541ac1-2553-48e3-9212-5ab0f25d4f3e.jpg?v=1571611034 How am I supposed to know you’re allergic to these if you don’t tell me! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191104 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191104_mounted_c4199de9-eaa2-4202-a530-1802129d5ed9.jpg?v=1571611035 If you can spare the time, Williams, I’d like to see you in my office. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191105 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191105_mounted_f5872c81-8f0e-4aea-bdbf-c9c46cfa8172.jpg?v=1571611035 Gimme 14 hot dogs. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191106 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191106_mounted_bcfb4c29-c44c-4b18-bc67-572f19d0893e.jpg?v=1571611035 Was he as short as that in real life? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191107 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191107_mounted_3f02754b-b336-4629-8f0d-4fdeea1b08e5.jpg?v=1571611035 Ignorance of the law is no excuse, buddy! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191108 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191108_mounted_9142e466-4114-4563-8e27-86e4dc68c07a.jpg?v=1571611035 In your case, we have no interest at all! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191109 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191109_mounted_babd08d8-4952-48d5-8768-fe62c4d82e53.jpg?v=1571611035 There’s seven billion of them down here! Make sure none get on the ship before we take off. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191111 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191111_mounted_da24a62c-b766-4fa4-97e0-1aa7f5cd46c8.jpg?v=1571611035 Guy in the front row wants to know if you like blueberry or custard cream? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191112 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191112_mounted_7811c76c-8f83-44da-8b84-2e759249c092.jpg?v=1571611035 Coffee is 50 cents for the first half-hour and 30 cents for each additional half-hour. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191113 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191113_mounted_5810082e-1aff-41b4-8ac8-4a63cb14fd77.jpg?v=1571611035 The top keeps flying off this food mixer. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191114 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191114_mounted_6bf52982-1c0b-4320-a57a-9ff4dcee5a92.jpg?v=1571611035 Cindy’s getting a job at a bank and needs you as a reference. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191115 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191115_mounted_9f9cd08c-2b1f-43d8-9996-6266e460dfa2.jpg?v=1571611035 That robot that replaced you at work has been laid off! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191116 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191116_mounted_96acf73e-6e14-4dab-9397-4527434a2dd0.jpg?v=1571611035 I think that dark shadow is where I spilled some coffee. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191118 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191118_mounted_65331e27-df4a-4343-aaa0-8717deeef11f.jpg?v=1571611035 Can you cut me a star-shaped piece of glass to fit that hole? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191119 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191119_mounted_dc654f7e-649b-44e3-8572-718c823016d4.jpg?v=1571611035 You’re supposed to read it aloud! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191120 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191120_mounted_0927413c-b39c-4873-9497-6129adbb6673.jpg?v=1571611035 Nurse… see if you can find my little rubber hammer. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191121 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191121_mounted_94bdea43-e8e0-469a-8f15-18c6d720aaa4.jpg?v=1571611035 I like the color but won’t the water keep running out? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191122 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191122_mounted_db8fdaa3-8b12-41e5-9b17-64a97448cfe6.jpg?v=1571611035 Have you got any old bricks I can take to my karate lesson? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191123 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191123_mounted_ebbafa18-9191-4295-bfe5-a38146d39b09.jpg?v=1571611035 I asked him what he wanted for our anniversary and he said ‘two minutes of silence.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191125 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191125_mounted_31e0cd35-ce42-424e-a155-76f61e3df5ef.jpg?v=1571611035 The doctor thinks he’s going to be very musical. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191126 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191126_mounted_3134fd95-2b6d-4e3f-86a6-26f150d42485.jpg?v=1571611035 Okay, you’ve got the job! On your mark, get set,… https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191127 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191127_mounted_e73c76c7-459f-405d-a4b6-4a21930a8c07.jpg?v=1571611035 I think we’ve decided on the ruby-and-diamond cluster. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191128 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191128_mounted_114cf344-79cb-4676-9f74-29fc96e9bc33.jpg?v=1571611035 He wasn’t always bald. It’s acid rain. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191129 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191129_mounted_732b6acb-8798-458b-b6a3-f79723cc9b34.jpg?v=1571611035 Oh, Herman! You’re my very first husband. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191130 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191130_mounted_10fb7550-7e8b-4aa7-9d5f-3ebd4bd8bca9.jpg?v=1571611035 Where did you put my book on archaeology? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191202 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191202_mounted_49fb8d11-e4ca-402d-9de2-025c7c83cc05.jpg?v=1571611035 George, how many years have I been coming in this candy store? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191203 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191203_mounted_3719343d-be0d-4385-b214-606ead10cc2b.jpg?v=1571611035 This wildlife book you sold me is nothing but animals! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191204 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191204_mounted_3bdf2834-7abf-4532-a380-3d6894026417.jpg?v=1571611036 I told you last week I had to work late tonight! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191205 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191205_mounted_7d4deed6-762f-4af8-99aa-791c3ad784b2.jpg?v=1571611036 Whaddya mean, ‘The strawberries aren’t fresh’? I just opened the can five minutes ago! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191206 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191206_mounted_1aea8c74-3ad2-4ec5-9ca4-432f3a7fdb2e.jpg?v=1571611036 I don’t really want a diagnosis. What diseases have you got for under $50? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191207 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191207_mounted_14dae2d1-a0aa-4f5e-8222-2cada0ceefd0.jpg?v=1571611036 This is your loan application back from our head office. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191209 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191209_mounted_c04c5e74-1b47-4854-b175-1908d05097a8.jpg?v=1571611036 Look at that! 62-years-old and not a single cavity. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191210 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191210_mounted_f67ecc0b-df30-4ae1-a413-280f1fdb808c.jpg?v=1571611036 The TV keeps switching back to ‘Wild Kingdom’! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191211 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191211_mounted_c2f958b3-a22d-41de-a209-69a5ddb75e7f.jpg?v=1571611036 I need a dishwasher that can handle heavy, baked-on grease — three times a day. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191212 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191212_mounted_25e8decc-d9d0-47e0-a2de-8304fdd0aa8a.jpg?v=1571611036 That’s $194.32, less four cents for the bonus coupon. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191213 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191213_mounted_d144eb65-b2c0-4960-91c2-ae95cb89a14c.jpg?v=1571611036 Here… tell your mother we’re out. She won’t believe me. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191214 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191214_mounted_5fe445b9-9ee1-4de6-a49d-0109e18abe96.jpg?v=1571611036 You won’t find a job in the Sports section! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191216 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191216_mounted_4cee8e75-92ac-449e-a1c3-5943bcfc135e.jpg?v=1571611036 You can sit there ’til I find out where you hid my glasses! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191217 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191217_mounted_be5bfd8e-0801-4ba5-b936-b1c4aa88e2bf.jpg?v=1571611036 This rascal chased the wife’s mother 20 feet up a tree. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191218 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191218_mounted_179cedb4-a36e-44e7-9bb4-2bf8e6919b86.jpg?v=1571611036 How about a bottle of aftershave for her legs? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191219 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191219_mounted_c1bcd9a9-be5c-42da-8c84-98277b3c6a1a.jpg?v=1571611036 Mother sent us each a Christmas card. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191220 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191220_mounted_5b225e96-0f5e-41eb-8de1-7fe3263b938b.jpg?v=1571611036 You wouldn’t even have that job if my Grandpa hadn’t got the flu. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191221 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191221_mounted_b4589f9d-d841-44d6-8534-9256d683ca09.jpg?v=1571611036 You look like the Ayatollah. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191223 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191223_mounted_9b5f8548-b337-4966-919d-2b6e29d5a72a.jpg?v=1571611036 Here, work your way through that lot and I’ll go easy on you next year. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191224 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191224_mounted_3b8f6e26-1778-4fa0-8ef9-0643570ea38d.jpg?v=1571611037 Fourteen shopping minutes to Christmas! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191225 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191225_mounted_5a36f2c3-a452-4c5c-a19d-78a230fc13db.jpg?v=1571611037 Fired already! You were only there five weeks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191226 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191226_mounted_47909f5e-b6ec-4c73-b2b4-9ca33d27b9ba.jpg?v=1571611037 They dropped the speeding charge but I’ve got to pay for the three storefronts and the railway station. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191227 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191227_mounted_8601257d-4b46-4bf4-9ba2-ee02c5c84764.jpg?v=1571611037 You had a hair transplant? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191228 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191228_mounted_277fbb16-6690-443e-9d36-24b7d5205545.jpg?v=1571611037 If I didn’t love you I wouldn’t eat this, would I? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191230 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191230_mounted_d51906d3-4c31-4489-b253-a75ab9e2eae8.jpg?v=1571611037 I knew he was really sick. He hasn’t complained about anything for three days. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm191231 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm191231_mounted_c79716e6-fb34-4655-85f8-9bdd3deae819.jpg?v=1571611037 Did Grandpa give you permission to take that off his bad leg? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200101 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200101_mounted_5319a864-f4fb-4782-b90c-edee82e4e142.jpg?v=1571611037 We’ve been happily married for two years — 2007 and 2009. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200102 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200102_mounted_e1bc8e71-3387-4ffb-a2cc-ed041bf539a4.jpg?v=1571611037 This is a much bigger apartment than we’re used to. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200103 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200103_mounted_c3e3c637-8119-4074-b8f4-d705c340ced2.jpg?v=1571611037 I sold half the business! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200104 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200104_mounted_bf4bc517-763a-4b0b-b423-22e1dc10847a.jpg?v=1571611037 If I get a good mark, you could be looking at a very nice apple tomorrow morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200106 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200106_mounted_50addf4f-a5fd-43e9-8b47-8424d4cdc72f.jpg?v=1571611037 It’s my new diet book. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200107 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200107_mounted_e79a78f1-9ee2-43e8-89d6-d08674edccc0.jpg?v=1571611037 I can’t hear the peasants singing. You’d better put the guard on ‘red alert.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200108 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200108_mounted_0059fd08-6d4a-4d53-a136-50747cc54f5e.jpg?v=1571611037 Come on! Tell him you’re sorry for stepping on him at the top of the stairs. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200109 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200109_mounted_beda05a9-5546-497e-9db7-ab764334c559.jpg?v=1571611037 We can’t stand here all day. It must have jammed. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200110 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200110_mounted_7f2d7445-bef8-43eb-a1ae-aa10eb22a3da.jpg?v=1571611037 I’m sorry, we’re out of ‘Multivitamins Plus Iron.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200111 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200111_mounted_5791184c-bc8f-4024-9dbb-15d345709ee7.jpg?v=1571611037 In 35 years, you’re my first case of this! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200113 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200113_mounted_8ec3a9a5-01db-4c91-bd72-3d33bcf77ed6.jpg?v=1571611037 Make sure he pays cash. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200114 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200114_mounted_84b3ab89-32ea-4c77-88ff-80678faa68c3.jpg?v=1571611037 I think we had much nicer diseases when I was a girl. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200115 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200115_mounted_6963566f-7c9a-444d-b61d-c40bfb1f8f98.jpg?v=1571611037 I’ve found a secret room! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200116 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200116_mounted_d19df7c8-79b0-40aa-a6bb-d76d86d3ec8e.jpg?v=1571611037 This is the last one he painted. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200117 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200117_mounted_a7241d77-a0f6-47b2-bdd5-903add815497.jpg?v=1571611037 I’d ask you in, but I’ve only got one chair. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200118 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200118_mounted_b7de94fc-b956-4091-b03e-1fd192f6a672.jpg?v=1571611038 Is that the man who tried to mug you? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200120 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200120_mounted_fceb3212-6bb4-4879-a171-90f0c2349a63.jpg?v=1571611038 I’ve never told anyone before, but I was aiming at a crocodile. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200121 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200121_mounted_424975ef-00a4-4fec-a6d3-932b30cc2d59.jpg?v=1571611038 Nurse, you’d better put these on. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200122 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200122_mounted_e4d9d7fd-6e8e-4e51-884e-513477452344.jpg?v=1571611038 You can’t use your bookie as a reference. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200123 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200123_mounted_3d60913c-ce4f-46f0-a8bd-8628ad69bcce.jpg?v=1571611038 Make sure he’s home by 4 o’clock. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200124 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200124_mounted_5fb2f6db-a1b6-4e1f-adc6-b4e9ddf036ef.jpg?v=1571611038 She’s here to get some entry forms for the Miss Universe competition. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200125 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200125_mounted_1f2df86b-b563-4ad5-a66b-4fb65227e63e.jpg?v=1571611038 We were wondering if we could extend the maximum limit on our charge account? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200127 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200127_mounted_83964ee2-d9a5-4c92-9f0d-2781319caf90.jpg?v=1571611038 Of course, we’re looking for a man who can work without supervision. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200128 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200128_mounted_9c31c005-8e16-40b8-a0e3-f974cd06024a.jpg?v=1571611038 When was this passport photo taken? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200129 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200129_mounted_220add50-1e12-4a84-9d14-95c7613f69d7.jpg?v=1571611038 Get that lab on the phone. This chest X-ray only shows the top of his head! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200130 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200130_mounted_99a6acb2-5039-47b3-be9c-e424f8939e82.jpg?v=1571611038 OK, don’t start showing off! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200131 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200131_mounted_c3a0df4b-b07e-4065-9d68-1f8ed50a0cc3.jpg?v=1571611038 Ralph, what’s the price on these lizard’s feet? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200201 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200201_mounted_9687eb11-0f32-4133-b94a-963cd383f626.jpg?v=1571611038 Your honor, my client thinks ten years is a little harsh and requests permission to approach the bench. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200203 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200203_mounted_563a213a-eb4f-404d-8895-439b2c2f5586.jpg?v=1571611038 I won’t be home Friday. They’ve changed all the locks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200204 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200204_mounted_c26bb306-714a-482e-aa69-736f1fc54037.jpg?v=1571611038 Up and left. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200205 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200205_mounted_4dc675bd-5657-4e20-9882-16891cfd5933.jpg?v=1571611038 I’m having a fabulous evening, but I really must be home by 8 o’clock. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200206 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200206_mounted_1c3e1729-1f9f-4f07-87f5-bbd41940480c.jpg?v=1571611038 I’ll skip the dessert menu. I don’t like too many surprises in one day. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200207 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200207_mounted_0bf09b29-7589-45b3-ae36-b14ee474334b.jpg?v=1571611038 I knew we shouldn’t have bought waterfront property! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200208 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200208_mounted_f06086de-a560-4c9e-a985-a805913d25c8.jpg?v=1571611038 Do you have such a thing as a refrigerator with a revolving door? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200210 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200210_mounted_7582f807-ae28-41ae-bfdd-cc5f9bf7a733.jpg?v=1571611038 For the last time: I do not want Today’s Special. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200211 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200211_mounted_0471f7a1-d06e-4ab1-a955-24c3083e292a.jpg?v=1571611038 We had to remove your brain for a couple of days, so just try to relax. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200212 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200212_mounted_f0cb0f36-0c2e-42d4-bb60-d4bd15728d3e.jpg?v=1571611038 Can’t you take a joke? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200213 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200213_mounted_5783888c-72cf-4c73-a21a-98d869f65012.jpg?v=1571611038 He seems to have decided on a baseball scholarship. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200214 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200214_mounted.jpg?v=1571611038 If we have to go in there again it will save you a bundle. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200215 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200215_mounted_c7717cff-5fd2-43a7-bd7c-deef9389c2cf.jpg?v=1571611038 You wanna have good eyesight if you go abroad, don’t you? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200217 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200217_mounted_cc4c58de-e57d-43c1-8497-d526a5e554ae.jpg?v=1571611038 Just give him your money, dear. The last one sued us for his medical bills. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200218 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200218_mounted_493d4297-d685-45f0-aa8e-06813e82e0dd.jpg?v=1571611038 Let me know immediately if you start feeling the urge to move sideways. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200219 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200219_mounted_6f5d017b-00df-4b86-b7d0-d2ad6ff12388.jpg?v=1571611038 She kept saying the dance floor was lumpy. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200220 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200220_mounted_aec9b6d1-09d3-4fd8-a051-e04fe599c044.jpg?v=1571611038 I guess I’ll plead not guilty just to get the old ball rolling. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200221 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200221_mounted_5c9c48c3-3162-45fc-ac46-fd9099e62a90.jpg?v=1571611039 I think my test results are a pretty good indication of your abilities as a teacher. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200222 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200222_mounted_52a0a454-be18-4310-a3e1-2be63d308094.jpg?v=1571611039 I want you to take one of these with water every four years. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200224 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200224_mounted_14150ea5-6bd8-46d9-91fe-ad2e5b0fcebf.jpg?v=1571611039 We were finding it very hot in here, Warden. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200225 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200225_mounted.jpg?v=1571611039 I would’ve been here sooner, but our iceberg hit a ship. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200226 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200226_mounted_d8102d7e-4250-47fb-918d-0a7415d9ea7b.jpg?v=1571611039 Mrs. Baxter, I don’t think things are going to work out. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200227 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200227_mounted_bf1b6bd3-14da-4445-a06b-0de711adbcec.jpg?v=1571611039 I thought I said those flying fish had to be back in their bowl by eight o’clock! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200228 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200228_mounted_65ee58b7-a5c1-4412-9451-00baeb888ee0.jpg?v=1571611039 Are you the guy who advertised he’d found a wallet? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200229 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200229_mounted_10725c86-d4e3-4f84-9108-86470b5579c1.jpg?v=1571611039 Arnold, will you please stand away from that on/off switch. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200302 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200302_mounted_63be00be-a408-4269-b21f-85e78e20b6d0.jpg?v=1571611039 I told you it was supposed to go around your neck. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200303 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200303_mounted_2b522c7c-7753-4c35-aa19-5c21518b53b0.jpg?v=1571611039 Okay Class… name four things he did wrong. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200304 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200304_mounted_0c873de2-dae5-4372-8e96-507ae859867a.jpg?v=1571611039 You’re looking at the next general manager of ‘Louie’s Take-Out Pizza.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200305 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200305_mounted_39490a16-63a7-4983-a0ab-c2745cf10ab1.jpg?v=1571611039 I just seem to be walking around in circles all day! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200306 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200306_mounted_9cf7d7b7-81a4-42d5-8268-366ff9672d95.jpg?v=1571611039 Old George has been with the company 38 years. Do I hear $30? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200307 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200307_mounted_e18e28cf-588e-41de-9b04-c8d51bcf007e.jpg?v=1571611039 My daughter tells me you’re hoping for a career in shipping. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200309 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200309_mounted_21f8392f-f356-4d75-8246-0322fd11a1b9.jpg?v=1571611039 He jumped a motorcycle across the Grand Canyon. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200310 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200310_mounted_f1db18e7-3ec9-481e-9ef3-7ce04e0ef9f0.jpg?v=1571611039 He wants to sit with his back to the wall. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200311 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200311_mounted_1289a276-b6a2-4978-9497-911d3168b8f7.jpg?v=1571611039 Some of the guys at work are coming over this evening to help me do the dishes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200312 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200312_mounted_67498630-4282-431d-990d-47c6088cf642.jpg?v=1571611039 As we’ll be flying over water, we present the following demonstration of what to do in the case of shark attack. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200313 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200313_mounted_d0ba44c2-0c32-4bba-bfa9-69cab22d0348.jpg?v=1571611039 And for the man who has everything, we have this personal nuclear deterrent. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200314 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200314_mounted_ef8820ac-2c84-4c7a-a410-081b3c02541c.jpg?v=1571611039 My wife would like to look at some fur coats. Got any binoculars? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200316 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200316_mounted_da65d380-dc92-4184-a1ee-436407668643.jpg?v=1571611039 This says you have a tendency to grovel. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200317 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200317_mounted_dfaee472-fb37-4fdb-bf38-23d8cc020eb9.jpg?v=1571611039 I lost track of my age years ago, but I think I’m about 22. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200318 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200318_mounted_ec0d0e31-36c8-4003-b5b9-088118aedd0c.jpg?v=1571611039 Did you or did you not tell him I was a Homo sapiens? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200319 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200319_mounted_9f4ef0fb-7dac-45c5-9d98-a57c0d08f9db.jpg?v=1571611039 Lily, run upstairs and see if this guy’s gas barbecue is in our bedroom. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200320 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200320_mounted_bf9dfd42-4891-4ba7-8bd7-83b7045b4ad0.jpg?v=1571611039 I had over 200 hours of flying time when I was your age. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200321 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200321_mounted_46708e7c-2bea-440a-b380-d57ef943963f.jpg?v=1571611039 I know it’s probably uncomfortable, but we need them as evidence. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200323 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200323_mounted_3772a629-ee42-47d6-a548-f8691f4d24d8.jpg?v=1571611039 Forgot the cat’s birthday, didn’t you? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200324 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200324_mounted_82ac42c2-f38a-4359-a48b-0f3d97c3fbb5.jpg?v=1571611039 You’d be surprised if you knew how many people walk out without paying! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200325 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200325_mounted_de124246-323e-476a-9ac6-bcb4eab14d7c.jpg?v=1571611040 You were going to fix the screen door six months ago! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200326 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200326_mounted_8a3b1545-2d5b-45d0-bbbd-94e32b204bcd.jpg?v=1571611040 The only time he’s got a 48-inch chest is when he stands on his head! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200327 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200327_mounted_ffe83817-6c32-4ffe-a938-f17d37588260.jpg?v=1571611040 Don’t keep saying ‘I do.’ You’re the best man. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200328 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200328_mounted_33aacb0b-466d-4657-8166-72cfeb3dfa08.jpg?v=1571611040 Separate checks, please. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200330 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200330_mounted_231645b8-77d1-455b-8234-8c26e003c548.jpg?v=1571611040 I think my memory’s coming back! Ask me who won the World Series in 2033. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200331 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200331_mounted_2b93ee68-d19b-468c-b662-00976480351c.jpg?v=1571611040 Er, hello! Your daughter’s husband has been called away on business for three months. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200401 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200401_mounted_fcda1eb2-b7b1-474e-b6bf-c407874083a2.jpg?v=1571611040 Want to go see a movie, baby? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200402 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200402_mounted_fd31f241-5ce8-4de6-a2ee-5773f3b445cd.jpg?v=1571611040 It works most of the time. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200403 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200403_mounted_38461c48-3abb-4218-b98f-c57e104b0d78.jpg?v=1571611040 I’ve lost the key! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200404 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200404_mounted_1d06b46f-046c-4668-8136-7a6eae9834f7.jpg?v=1571611040 He said he shot it in the desert. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200406 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200406_mounted_6c7da5b1-0bae-4825-86b6-95e81487f98c.jpg?v=1571611040 Can you see anything? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200407 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200407_mounted_ea8754dc-b090-4f56-8b07-8964c4a16f5b.jpg?v=1571611040 I’m sorry, sir, that’s not hand luggage. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200408 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200408_mounted_df671374-fcc8-4b57-a8ce-318ed66a08ce.jpg?v=1571611040 Just relax and get your memory back. Don’t lay there worrying about the fifty bucks you owe me. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200409 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200409_mounted_8ccd9c09-db12-4125-9519-5a3be6e893d7.jpg?v=1571611040 Got a room with a panoramic view of the city? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200410 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200410_mounted_e2ed8d95-c468-4b76-86ec-f1eb4a9f445f.jpg?v=1571611040 I finally found his credit cards, taped inside the TV cabinet. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200411 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200411_mounted_5023596d-0e30-41a2-b054-c5eed4ad30c3.jpg?v=1571611040 You need plenty of rest. You’d better stay in the gutter for a few days. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200413 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200413_mounted_fbf84e18-1509-4db8-80f0-e1e3ce8b42b6.jpg?v=1571611040 Your brother-in-law is marooned on a desert island. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200414 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200414_mounted_e3d556f1-94e7-4a80-8173-d22149d39a69.jpg?v=1571611040 Take off your tie and unbutton your shirt. There are nine women on the jury. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200415 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200415_mounted_be5cd2f4-2880-408e-a646-48f8b7357d9e.jpg?v=1571611040 I ordered a coffee when I came in. Do you think you could give me a progress report when the beans leave South America? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200416 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200416_mounted_0696a8f8-f249-4ed0-a605-624cce39117a.jpg?v=1571611040 I’m sure he couldn’t have done it intentionally! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200417 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200417_mounted.jpg?v=1571611040 You were a stronger man on our first honeymoon. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200418 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200418_mounted_193099a7-ceaa-4773-b61a-767ee2b9dbc7.jpg?v=1571611040 Of the smaller breeds, these are about the best guard dogs. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200420 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200420_mounted_46dffcb1-4731-4cea-8301-4fa2b6b699ee.jpg?v=1571611040 Your boss didn’t want you to lay here worrying about the work piling up, so he fired you. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200421 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200421_mounted.jpg?v=1571611040 Breathe deeply and take a quick look at my bill. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200422 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200422_mounted_329c27ea-406a-4fb0-be38-ce31cbdea995.jpg?v=1571611040 Open up! I want to take a look down your throat. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200423 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200423_mounted_5fd7718a-a581-45fa-8669-7b65a010b964.jpg?v=1571611040 I’ve got a stabbing pain in my left kidney. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200424 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200424_mounted.jpg?v=1571611040 Can I go in first? This is a real emergency. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200425 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200425_mounted_1cfc4cb0-1b71-47a6-81bc-6091e282349e.jpg?v=1571611040 Got any nice gift-wrapping paper? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200427 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200427_mounted.jpg?v=1571611041 I want you to walk two miles a day… and take my dog with you. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200428 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200428_mounted.jpg?v=1571611041 I’m sorry. I haven’t laughed like this for months. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200429 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200429_mounted_1503f4c9-1756-4245-a904-eaf90a833fdd.jpg?v=1571611041 You’ve got the job. Now, take these home and practice kissing them. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200430 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200430_mounted.jpg?v=1571611041 I’m sorry! He’s taking karate lessons. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200501 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200501_mounted_793d52c5-e5be-47c1-ab84-5e85b32f1fee.jpg?v=1571611041 I hope you had a radio transmitter on that ball! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200502 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200502_mounted_da0c75d7-8b34-456a-bbaa-8c6a0a28b283.jpg?v=1571611041 Mr. White is here for his annual checkup, doctor. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200504 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200504_mounted_7c08213e-0644-47b7-ad59-d562e4f10ac2.jpg?v=1571611041 I see the old dollar’s taken another beating. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200505 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200505_mounted.jpg?v=1571611041 Whoever heard of anyone studying for an eye examination? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200506 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200506_mounted_9e7deee9-2da1-4388-ae02-999934f14c5b.jpg?v=1571611041 Quick, drink this! It’ll settle your stomach. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200507 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200507_mounted_955c6d85-5bd9-40c7-be21-a2b52cd4cf24.jpg?v=1571611041 Will you keep your head still?! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200508 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200508_mounted_1f95758d-7f66-46fa-81a8-4028ebf53b32.jpg?v=1571611041 Hey, Lily! Was it 2008 I got my bronze medal for the ‘foxtrot’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200509 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200509_mounted_c0db9e5f-f5f0-46ee-b57b-453cebeb8067.jpg?v=1571611041 Anything under $25,000 nowadays is considered ‘junk jewelry.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200511 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200511_mounted_b47f13ac-e7ce-4a45-8ac7-3bd42b3b66e6.jpg?v=1571611041 I need to borrow your $7.58 of ‘mad money.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200512 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200512_mounted.jpg?v=1571611041 This should hold it! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200513 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200513_mounted_5ed16c2d-7e43-4e1c-a90f-666911d504d8.jpg?v=1571611041 Here, take this, but make sure you get home in 90 seconds. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200514 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200514_mounted.jpg?v=1571611041 Your honor, a 25-year jail sentence would jeopardize my client’s job at the supermarket. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200515 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200515_mounted.jpg?v=1571611041 I’m sorry, sir, visiting hours are over. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200516 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200516_mounted_4d890c37-5fe2-415a-8a5a-987dff675ba1.jpg?v=1571611041 Here’s the menu. I’ll be back in a couple of hours. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200518 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200518_mounted.jpg?v=1571611041 Put your stupid hands down; He’s looking for the dentist. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200519 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200519_mounted_44063781-8807-45db-a7e3-6cc18ec83bee.jpg?v=1571611041 Is this the guy who was stuck in the elevator for three days? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200520 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200520_mounted_43c3c006-af07-40eb-8691-1dfd9e25ca0f.jpg?v=1571611041 Is it still half price for kids? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200521 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200521_mounted.jpg?v=1571611042 We need a six-foot ladder and an eight-foot ladder. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200522 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200522_mounted_545abf47-a4df-45b7-b01e-fe5391ae3672.jpg?v=1571611042 Table for three. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200523 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200523_mounted_303be771-a2fd-4b47-b413-a6255b4ddfa0.jpg?v=1571611042 It’s got a two-level finished basement. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200525 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200525_mounted_219ee895-cde9-4d42-a677-b75f40493f1c.jpg?v=1571611042 Dad, I’m writing my life story. Is ‘poverty-stricken’ one word? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200526 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200526_mounted_778fe7da-3dda-4f37-b09f-0bbe93d4f6ba.jpg?v=1571611042 Can we borrow your coat? We’re going to the movies. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200528 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200528_mounted_f46fc8b1-b632-4031-a411-caa87051117a.jpg?v=1571611042 I take it your business meeting was a success. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200529 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200529_mounted_3cfdb05f-9c6b-46a1-ac62-ee59426a411c.jpg?v=1571611042 Wilson, don’t drag your nails down the blackboard. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200530 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200530_mounted_f21e9cd1-427f-4233-81bc-0e687bcab2bf.jpg?v=1571611042 Your teeth are fantastic, but your gums have to come out. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200601 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200601_mounted_9786dedc-0067-4d34-a96d-c66a64bbe652.jpg?v=1571611042 Here we go! Step one: Take off your shirt. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200602 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200602_mounted_7b673172-4095-45c2-8310-276f445c7f24.jpg?v=1571611042 This is Dr. Elgin, our expert on tropical diseases. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200603 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200603_mounted_b7c306eb-372d-4085-bd1c-bbd544d4210c.jpg?v=1571611042 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200604 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200604_mounted_95fc74f6-3796-4e71-979f-1c3c79327067.jpg?v=1571611042 You shouted it LAST time! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200605 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200605_mounted_73ff48aa-50ac-448d-ba27-6ad971e79979.jpg?v=1571611042 Marriage is give and take. I eat your cooking so you do the dishes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200606 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200606_mounted_1447d7fd-235d-4220-8b16-50e89d37de3f.jpg?v=1571611042 We ate at home, but we just want to see how much we saved. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200608 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200608_mounted_6707a046-4ac8-44d8-b62d-b2a23df46d6a.jpg?v=1571611042 D’you have any other references apart from this one from your mother? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200609 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200609_mounted_f0b8b922-6dcf-4706-943e-d00bfcb9261e.jpg?v=1571611042 Grandma just made a tidy profit on some of your report old cards. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200610 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200610_mounted_2dd1999d-6c72-49a7-a775-a60eb60e86df.jpg?v=1571611042 We need something fast for about 10 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200611 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200611_mounted_9a64a3fd-5803-43ca-8de1-579e0050ed6e.jpg?v=1571611042 This is new… ‘mega-puncture.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200612 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200612_mounted_b6f92f76-cf93-4194-ba8b-003698405c5c.jpg?v=1571611042 I don’t know who he is! He was there when I woke up this morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200613 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200613_mounted_22d0d782-f2c5-4565-8644-5b586607fa34.jpg?v=1571611042 I think I’m gonna get the job. Call me back in five minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200615 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200615_mounted_f47764aa-83a8-4cf1-a298-d9be4abef8e5.jpg?v=1571611042 D’you still want ‘The Catch of the Day’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200616 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200616_mounted_ff34a1a3-ea52-4974-879d-421b8060fc0e.jpg?v=1571611042 We’re on our second honeymoon. Make sure our rooms are not too close together. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200617 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200617_mounted_4ac372bf-cf81-4d32-92c2-cb027914e88a.jpg?v=1571611042 He wants another 50 bucks… pair of nines and a queen. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200618 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200618_mounted_efa11ce2-f540-42a8-bdd6-9a8d6b7afb92.jpg?v=1571611042 The guy at the pet store said he needs more exercise. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200619 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200619_mounted_7d74b3dc-3c45-4962-b05b-b0896475a646.jpg?v=1571611042 You’re a little underweight. Put this in your pocket. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200620 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200620_mounted_11bef938-17fc-4d15-b46d-d3f783c0a40c.jpg?v=1571611042 Did you tell the cat he could have my striped shirt? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200622 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200622_mounted_d1cf3118-3cf2-493e-bac8-f6148c7e8367.jpg?v=1571611042 She gave me a box of chocolates for my birthday with 11 missing. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200623 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200623_mounted_81d03d32-6ec6-4414-9af7-12506f70cfb6.jpg?v=1571611042 And now for a look at the latest picture from a weather satellite. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200624 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200624_mounted_31b99724-b607-4ac6-8c58-4cc804690ed4.jpg?v=1571611043 People are beginning to complain about too much violence on cave walls. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200625 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200625_mounted_0b7289ea-f6c4-4f85-8b51-0b2604c29b18.jpg?v=1571611043 It’s not catching, is it? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200626 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200626_mounted_9801a28d-7605-4e15-beca-c0f7f8a66b8c.jpg?v=1571611043 Did you say on the phone you were ‘in your ‘20s’ or ‘born in the ‘20s’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200627 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200627_mounted_83bbf4e0-1151-418e-a7d0-457ff1d73f88.jpg?v=1571611043 He’s back again! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200629 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200629_mounted_797f15e2-2ec1-48de-a780-ca3e33908680.jpg?v=1571611043 If you insist on laughing, sir, I must ask you to browse in the humor section. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200630 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200630_mounted_4e7b5429-9c1c-4c8a-a632-41d94ee80a81.jpg?v=1571611043 I’ll have to deduct five points for cornering on two wheels. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200701 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200701_mounted_8d28bae7-78ba-4cde-a3f6-4fe76c48014a.jpg?v=1571611043 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200702 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200702_mounted_ac748fd9-5188-4dab-8dc5-0acdf36664bc.jpg?v=1571611043 I married her for her looks and she married me for my money. Now we’re even. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200703 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200703_mounted_1dd0399e-1a2e-401a-9317-10682d4aaccf.jpg?v=1571611043 It says, ‘Your day will be greatly influenced by the planet Neptune.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200704 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200704_mounted_39d97c94-4654-4f19-9706-4ae388ca5ad8.jpg?v=1571611043 This is not an illegal strike. We’re having a 72-hour lunch break. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200706 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200706_mounted_c4057a5b-6040-4658-90f4-a82e7ae794d3.jpg?v=1571611043 D’you know how many people are hit by lightning every year? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200707 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200707_mounted_9b921f86-1f77-44b6-8967-c28a6fd3acdb.jpg?v=1571611043 He wants me to tell you that the pills aren’t working. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200708 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200708_mounted_24e0f152-e481-4d8e-9073-cfdb3e555b80.jpg?v=1571611043 These are for you in court. We’re going for ‘insanity.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200709 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200709_mounted_eb69fb3e-0417-42a8-b61b-e27837c5125f.jpg?v=1571611043 Don’t let George scare you. He’s in for art forgery. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200710 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200710_mounted_a4d9dede-e677-4612-bdee-689d54f47743.jpg?v=1571611043 Come on. You were all excited when you saw it on TV. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200711 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200711_mounted_b8273650-bdeb-4528-adec-193e1d6037a3.jpg?v=1571611043 You’d better hurry up and decide. The warranty runs out in 15 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200713 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200713_mounted_1ce937e3-6f84-413f-8c2e-a224c5dc836e.jpg?v=1571611043 One minute, 52 seconds. I could have died of thirst! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200714 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200714_mounted_d676a6c3-754e-49e2-9cb8-05e7e5b8868f.jpg?v=1571611043 They’re $12… but don’t worry, I’ll keep them in a vault and wear an imitation. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200715 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200715_mounted_3ca96b7d-bdc1-452a-bac4-b79756b237c3.jpg?v=1571611043 I’ve seen it before. He’s changing into a butterfly. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200716 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200716_mounted_01957498-263a-4fe1-8e15-f80293244ff6.jpg?v=1571611043 I used to have a bigger eye chart but I wasn’t making any money. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200717 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200717_mounted_8411b829-e179-4964-abcb-1bbcc43f8152.jpg?v=1571611043 Old Rex has been in the family for as far back as I can remember. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200718 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200718_mounted_3748d07a-15f5-4ca6-a80d-0d9752a0d30b.jpg?v=1571611043 It’s been six days. Has he reported me missing yet? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200720 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200720_mounted_dabec6f8-a64c-41c0-b4e1-ddccad84f688.jpg?v=1571611043 I gave up two hours of sleep to apply for this job! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200721 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200721_mounted_77dd158f-ba08-494a-8d04-5daf2f57a586.jpg?v=1571611043 You haven’t eaten your chicken! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200722 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200722_mounted_f0056820-0baa-43c6-b364-bc2a454a3bcb.jpg?v=1571611043 You got any idea how fast you were going? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200723 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200723_mounted_494c7e79-0a56-4fb1-a268-a2e64a2fad93.jpg?v=1571611043 Nothing on? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200724 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200724_mounted_b2ccd1c1-d6e9-431b-903e-dec1a0c9d370.jpg?v=1571611043 This isn’t the right water pump, but I’ll make it fit. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200725 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200725_mounted_09887622-197f-405b-84f9-9c611c78429c.jpg?v=1571611043 Just cut off a dollar’s worth. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200727 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200727_mounted_75d86dc2-e329-463f-93d8-6877e0f566fb.jpg?v=1571611043 I’m putting you down as ‘potential donor material.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200728 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200728_mounted_a25bd57a-ef19-49fc-a6f3-d982a12c8a54.jpg?v=1571611043 Get a move on. The tranquilizer dart’s wearing off. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200729 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200729_mounted_c84b6fa8-ff03-4e37-bf0e-2351b8dce45d.jpg?v=1571611044 My stomach’s having a tough time getting used to well-cooked food. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200730 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200730_mounted_69525eab-8bad-409e-91a4-2398924f843e.jpg?v=1571611044 What’s so dumb about cutting out a full-page advertisement? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200731 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200731_mounted_a3856c6e-4d2a-48a0-ab87-92e3d93946da.jpg?v=1571611044 Let go, sweetheart, and Mommy will give you this bone. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200801 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200801_mounted_a6afff2d-863c-467a-b524-d9b0b95e48bb.jpg?v=1571611044 He’s probably taking a breather on his way north. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200803 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200803_mounted_becf2209-fb3a-437d-a760-4c3723efad15.jpg?v=1571611044 OK, that’s enough for one day. I’ll see you next Tuesday. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200804 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200804_mounted_bbaa4873-fa7e-404c-ad6d-021ee1eb56af.jpg?v=1571611044 Can you stand on your right leg? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200805 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200805_mounted_fa53afa9-dbc2-4e62-859b-1a76353d1f71.jpg?v=1571611044 How was I supposed to know it fired torpedoes? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200806 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200806_mounted_e32744c2-3898-43de-b761-305f22253b2b.jpg?v=1571611044 You can earn $1,000 a week if you work the full 168 hours. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200807 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200807_mounted_419a740d-c2cc-4557-8e71-84e0bc07d961.jpg?v=1571611044 I gotta open you up again. Those things are $96 a pair! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200808 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200808_mounted_99a5acc3-123d-49b4-9212-481d0d708e75.jpg?v=1571611044 For the last time, Randolph, I’m the best man and you’re the groom. We can’t change places! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200810 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200810_mounted_62164f30-b2df-4bab-89fa-ad7dbabe4d7e.jpg?v=1571611044 This guy wants to borrow your long ladder. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200811 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200811_mounted_9cfe8f09-2f8a-434a-a226-c54411a983fa.jpg?v=1571611044 Stay away from those wooden ones. I nearly got my head blown off! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200812 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200812_mounted_8e57e4ac-6d6b-4fdf-86a2-d1823d7f638c.jpg?v=1571611044 I know you’re three weeks away from retirement, but it’s either fire you now or fork out for a gold watch. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200813 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200813_mounted_d51e111c-aaa6-4655-8e58-caab1274e191.jpg?v=1571611044 It’s not my fault if my dad won’t lend me the car! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200814 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200814_mounted_bae72f35-31eb-4af3-8b77-bf19ed960608.jpg?v=1571611044 Come on, Herbert. The gates open in five minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200815 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200815_mounted_663dc486-c7d7-4612-a467-80961c5491a8.jpg?v=1571611044 Get back in bed!!! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200817 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200817_mounted_35485aa5-8138-429e-aaa7-0bc22f57dcad.jpg?v=1571611044 You certainly have a way with animals. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200818 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200818_mounted_70ec3382-8eb2-419d-9a19-d23fa337ff3d.jpg?v=1571611044 Give me your credit card. I’m getting these for your birthday. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200819 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200819_mounted_3f7a6267-7e61-48db-825b-a6c50e84a1bc.jpg?v=1571611044 We got a nice postcard from those little green guys in the U.F.O. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200820 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200820_mounted_8c4b544f-8aed-4e6c-9f93-b58119e7c28f.jpg?v=1571611044 I’m sorry, Wilson. After 16 years of loyal service, you’re being replaced by this microchip. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200821 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200821_mounted_60722c22-1ddc-4601-8374-a7b5cd62dd68.jpg?v=1571611044 I had to make a videotape of myself telling him his supper’s ready. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200822 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200822_mounted_923756e3-d6c0-4c80-981f-27ff84d29a6c.jpg?v=1571611044 She said if I don’t finish the fence in time, I won’t be able to go to her sister’s wedding. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200824 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200824_mounted_87d30608-42b2-4a00-9144-58fef3ccd530.jpg?v=1571611044 OK, you’ve got the job. But you make sure you have a big breakfast before coming to work. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200825 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200825_mounted_3eae4eee-fdcc-4d02-b0aa-0002842451d9.jpg?v=1571611044 C’mon, Dave! I saw him first. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200826 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200826_mounted_e60fc8aa-0236-4bee-a3c9-4068c036e39d.jpg?v=1571611044 We’ve decided on a small wedding. I’m not going. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200827 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200827_mounted_86fcb546-7431-405d-a9fe-3f8d0a42d479.jpg?v=1571611044 Fish and chips… and forty-two chef’s salads. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200828 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200828_mounted_10f5f26c-e67a-4f09-b335-d8c314ee9dce.jpg?v=1571611044 The doctor said you can come home on Friday if I get rid of the cat. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200829 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200829_mounted_353c30dd-8d6d-44ba-9df8-f3e1a53edca1.jpg?v=1571611044 How d’you expect people to read labels that are upside down? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200831 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200831_mounted_24f9d996-4dc9-4d77-af1e-8cffb8acfabd.jpg?v=1571611045 Get a move on! She’ll be home in 10 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200901 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200901_mounted_b5a758fd-63fa-4b0e-a759-646f8b65f2a8.jpg?v=1571611045 I’m-fine-how-are-you? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200902 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200902_mounted_77bb9e9f-c44f-478d-b034-e3f5114887df.jpg?v=1571611045 What do you mean, you don’t recognize this court? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200903 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200903_mounted_ea794a69-effd-4825-9793-7129ed1b6098.jpg?v=1571611045 How can I find anything when you keep leaving this razor all over the bathroom? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200904 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200904_mounted_f236bc55-90e8-4a1c-b904-dd4dbf315b34.jpg?v=1571611045 He’s out! Can I take a message? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200905 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200905_mounted_187872ca-be9a-4dc8-a322-6b306912cd2c.jpg?v=1571611045 Keep your head down, Billy-Joe. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200907 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200907_mounted_0e70074d-e566-49a8-883d-4b1399ed4cdb.jpg?v=1571611045 Is your wife still taking singing lessons? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200908 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200908_mounted_b0991919-e1da-406d-a36d-97c9ecb6d6f6.jpg?v=1571611045 Got any more of those blue-and-white striped ones that taste like tuna? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200909 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200909_mounted_6032d451-1ebc-4452-b153-be3f34e5681f.jpg?v=1571611045 Listen, Ron, I’m not going bowling tonight. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200910 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200910_mounted_ddbb02f9-6013-4dc5-a3d2-ece2f0c18602.jpg?v=1571611045 Something just landed on my back! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200911 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200911_mounted_938ab098-6f62-4062-a535-a656dfa76f04.jpg?v=1571611045 I suppose you heard about that blonde who used to work at the bank… https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200912 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200912_mounted_81dc8cdd-7d0c-4baf-8129-ffbc389c9059.jpg?v=1571611045 Table for two… name of ‘Kong.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200914 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200914_mounted_88ca46fd-7715-495c-bb0f-3486afbe7cf7.jpg?v=1571611045 If he had six wives, how come there was no Henry the Ninth? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200915 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200915_mounted_d179f2da-007f-4f36-a0d1-8485ca6bb945.jpg?v=1571611045 Forty words per minute doesn’t include spelling. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200916 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200916_mounted_10cc2104-4edb-4f1b-9233-ad4e471c9826.jpg?v=1571611045 They hung this mirror upside-down. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200917 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200917_mounted_3d2b9457-a765-4a67-a4db-39c66bacd19c.jpg?v=1571611045 I brought him over because I want him to apologize. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200918 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200918_mounted_5f140d2a-7bbf-4d4d-b0be-af5f80d878af.jpg?v=1571611045 You’re getting overheated. Go outside in the fresh air and clean the windows. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200919 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200919_mounted_864e615d-904d-4ad3-8020-8845cb72ee96.jpg?v=1571611045 I can’t help you if you’re just going to sit there mooing. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200921 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200921_mounted_24da020a-d165-470d-a12a-ada69f95ff71.jpg?v=1571611045 He doesn’t have a diploma, but he does have carpentry experience. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200922 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200922_mounted_16e7f474-c3c0-49da-a5da-8329787e35d3.jpg?v=1571611045 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200923 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200923_mounted_e37364a5-655e-4f00-a2a0-e6ae6419f673.jpg?v=1571611045 Is it true you like your employees to speak their minds, Big Nose? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200924 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200924_mounted_b8fbcdef-43a8-4fa9-ba0a-0f2de273689c.jpg?v=1571611045 Which parent should sign it: My natural father, stepfather, mother’s third husband, real mother or the woman living us? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200925 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200925_mounted_5c3682c4-c54d-4b7f-adec-d5c9e8998793.jpg?v=1571611045 The computer says it’ll probably try to stick that rubber thing in your mouth. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200926 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200926_mounted_106858e9-6d20-4873-b436-4d095cbbfb61.jpg?v=1571611045 Did you have your hair done at that new place on Market street? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200928 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200928_mounted_2dc6f036-91c6-4a39-b3bd-5aeb16f8b682.jpg?v=1571611046 I just hope that’s not the water you had your teeth in! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200929 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200929_mounted_274b12b1-3d93-4bab-b5e6-4cf5dd726f76.jpg?v=1571611046 George… Have we got 900 rolls of this ‘imitation stone’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm200930 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm200930_mounted_625bc31e-c987-4c2c-bd12-8651b5847835.jpg?v=1571611046 What time do those kids go to bed? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201001 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201001_mounted_13f1bd9a-cfa2-4d38-a5d2-2326ad7f1f67.jpg?v=1571611046 Think back… two years ago… you sold me a gerbil. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201002 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201002_mounted_964f80fd-9d13-4f0f-90f1-afbce0d1e96e.jpg?v=1571611046 Rub this on your feet three times a day, during meals. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201003 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201003_mounted_497544bd-e7bb-46eb-8d0b-0aea74bab2c8.jpg?v=1571611046 Now don’t hit Grandad’s foot. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201005 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201005_mounted_b620dcdf-1f3d-4b26-b283-e7438239d085.jpg?v=1571611046 You should stay off that left foot for a couple of days. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201006 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201006_mounted_f217b9a8-34fc-41bb-91f0-706a87fd1b14.jpg?v=1571611046 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201007 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201007_mounted_c5862959-918f-4d4d-bdb9-229a59be03b2.jpg?v=1571611046 You say you spent five years at the North Pole? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201008 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201008_mounted_c4d7a49a-d24c-47f3-a1ba-e076b889f5b0.jpg?v=1571611046 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201009 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201009_mounted_22b1b539-4084-48e7-b5bd-27956fc66d1b.jpg?v=1571611046 Don’t look like that. You’ll be boasting about this for the rest of your life. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201012 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201012_mounted_4faa9b88-839e-44e8-92ca-9b834f9be56e.jpg?v=1571611046 Did you happen to notice which chicken? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201013 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201013_mounted_c981e75c-c375-4052-91ec-a59fbf8da858.jpg?v=1571611046 It never ceases to amaze me what people throw away. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201014 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201014_mounted_f0108caa-f488-4666-9e97-e5772ff9c951.jpg?v=1571611046 Wilson, I’m beginning to have serious doubts about your abilities as a bookkeeper. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201015 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201015_mounted_5a0733e8-80b0-4244-b9d9-4cfbfff58e95.jpg?v=1571611046 Couldn’t you find yourself a nice boyfriend from this planet? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201016 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201016_mounted_862d0555-6ac3-4c57-a295-e2e6bf5f0fb2.jpg?v=1571611046 Dear Pinkie: Having a wonderful time in the south of France. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201017 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201017_mounted_80ee8f4f-740d-4c23-a4da-9ebf63756e34.jpg?v=1571611046 I thought you said you were an airline pilot. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201019 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201019_mounted_0c567ed8-c7d0-4127-8672-fad542b66185.jpg?v=1571611046 Er… stay cool, baby… and, er… hashtag what’s up? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201020 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201020_mounted_ddc3b5eb-6215-4bf1-a7c8-1eb50a905e73.jpg?v=1571611046 I’ve worn a 34-inch waist ever since I was a teenager. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201021 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201021_mounted_f85630cc-6065-40b8-af4a-6d71a50c072f.jpg?v=1571611046 The changing room is occupied. Crouch down behind the tie rack. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201022 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201022_mounted_26661f3a-3919-4597-a27d-d0bb61cee158.jpg?v=1571611046 Lily, see if there’s anything on the six o’clock news about it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201023 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201023_mounted_9d00028e-c285-47a4-a074-004b5c92aeb6.jpg?v=1571611046 Some florist delivered a bunch of flowers here by mistake. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201024 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201024_mounted_7686be57-c45e-4765-883c-83f0663bf57f.jpg?v=1571611046 No, sir. This is not a Greek restaurant. You have the menu upside down. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201026 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201026_mounted_39508033-adee-4716-b447-f2f29597bd30.jpg?v=1571611046 You’re an hour late! Don’t blame me if your cheese sandwich is ruined. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201027 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201027_mounted_1b3c39b6-a492-462c-a1e5-110aa6b0162c.jpg?v=1571611046 The doctor says he’s got to get plenty of rest. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201028 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201028_mounted_8f30de67-cb7b-46b7-b28a-054e7912f9e3.jpg?v=1571611046 He really likes you! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201029 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201029_mounted_e6bcc590-9ba2-4024-aab7-5787af00116e.jpg?v=1571611046 We usually put 30 percent on! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201030 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201030_mounted_b00a1241-6965-4827-972b-7d6389ec9edd.jpg?v=1571611046 Your birthday gift is in the garage, charging up my car battery. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201031 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201031_mounted_38f0d68f-6003-4776-aa43-e326a282bd3c.jpg?v=1571611047 Not him?! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201102 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201102_mounted_2307c34f-f862-4332-a97c-60d2bd95f80e.jpg?v=1571611047 My goodness! It says in another month, I’ll be charging $20 a visit. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201103 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201103_mounted_385fd0f9-32aa-4b61-b433-b13150503b7d.jpg?v=1571611047 What are you doing now? Throw the Frisbee. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201104 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201104_mounted_1349ed0c-7b67-400f-b8ab-4406fa1d2d41.jpg?v=1571611047 Wagstaff, these experiments have got to stop. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201105 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201105_mounted_bd7cd39b-39f6-4622-8f46-7a0c6f19f959.jpg?v=1571611047 Cost me $60 and she only wore it twice. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201106 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201106_mounted_a91cd6b1-e5a5-46fc-a63c-58689fad931c.jpg?v=1571611047 I spoke to the doctor. He said you’re taking too much iron. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201107 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201107_mounted_3306e9bb-22d5-4747-ae08-4457a94ef450.jpg?v=1571611047 Now, let’s see. You say yours has three little blue dots on it? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201109 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201109_mounted_60c71811-d78b-4e1e-bd56-e11b16c14b40.jpg?v=1571611047 You’ll be pleased to know, madame, we just landed safely at the airport. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201110 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201110_mounted_e77576a3-a75c-4773-8ff7-acd49fd0aa41.jpg?v=1571611047 I hear your husband is a ventriloquist. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201111 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201111_mounted_e6a5f074-9695-4ebd-81d8-781aadb14543.jpg?v=1571611047 I got her in a poker game. I had a pair of eights and the other guy had three jacks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201112 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201112_mounted_67bf8b92-2abf-497a-8fdc-89b20b8cc78d.jpg?v=1571611047 You’re like my brother-in-law. He’s got short arms. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201113 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201113_mounted_a6f9c058-802b-44ec-b16c-b6f49dcc9bb1.jpg?v=1571611047 I’m double-parked outside the courthouse. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201114 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201114_mounted_49efec62-1197-470c-8149-d3e1e5c55aa4.jpg?v=1571611047 Keep moving your feet around. I don’t want these vegetables to stick. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201116 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201116_mounted_8cfb0b48-cb36-404b-9815-4489a0a7ef17.jpg?v=1571611047 When are you gonna start facing reality? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201117 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201117_mounted_3e36a01e-f9b7-49da-a14b-e71eace35e6d.jpg?v=1571611047 Will you quit screaming! I’m cleaning my glasses! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201118 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201118_mounted_d43a5a15-2469-48fe-aec9-a6771e100d01.jpg?v=1571611047 I don’t normally buy bug spray at the door, but the one I use obviously doesn’t work. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201119 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201119_mounted_25bd4c3a-c827-475e-92eb-96c49812dcca.jpg?v=1571611047 How do you spell ‘escapologist’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201120 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201120_mounted_7c958218-6ee4-4515-8aad-81193e59de8c.jpg?v=1571611047 D for Destiny’s Child, E for Eminem, A for Alanis and R for Rolling Stones. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201121 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201121_mounted_6423ae6a-25d3-4574-8845-2ebbf5491ff4.jpg?v=1571611047 I hear you’re giving a series of lectures on body-building. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201123 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201123_mounted_7eab3c2f-2894-4cec-b055-7549eeb2a216.jpg?v=1571611047 I’ll have your red snapper, white potatoes, and green beans. D’you have any blue carrots? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201124 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201124_mounted_5a309994-79ff-4f48-bf44-b60e7c4f3847.jpg?v=1571611047 That’s the last pair I have in those! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201126 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201126_mounted_8dbca485-57c6-4027-94b9-5b806d1d0939.jpg?v=1571611047 I’d like to see a set of your unbreakable dishes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201127 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201127_mounted_e38f70ee-f39c-4e15-8fe0-4bf7be7c07e6.jpg?v=1571611047 Well, I sure wasn’t making any money as a pet store. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201128 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201128_mounted_c4ef8444-e2dd-4d91-8f6a-2209b6f04be7.jpg?v=1571611047 Take up the slack. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201130 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201130_mounted_5b5dbbeb-058a-41cb-a130-344ac30277ff.jpg?v=1571611047 I see you finally fixed the crack in the wall. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201201 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201201_mounted_a779b4a6-a68a-416b-acdb-fe21d33a546f.jpg?v=1571611047 Dougie, have we got these in coral pink? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201202 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201202_mounted_443eb4b5-0500-4264-8a2e-a4733e98ba40.jpg?v=1571611047 I’m planning a solo voyage around the world. D’you want to come? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201203 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201203_mounted_77547d4a-4bde-491d-a709-50eed97f20fe.jpg?v=1571611047 You’re not staying home from work. It’s payday. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201204 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201204_mounted_d053ec81-4fae-4b7d-8b2d-71c9b1418bee.jpg?v=1571611047 Well, you knew we had only one tree when you bought it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201205 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201205_mounted_3b912c27-e693-40fd-a2f8-29a6a3e995d0.jpg?v=1571611048 She wants six chicken wings. Three left and three right. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201207 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201207_mounted_ecae0dbe-0d6c-429c-99db-a65d43e0c3e0.jpg?v=1571611048 You’ve broken my best flowerpot! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201208 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201208_mounted_1d4c5753-d2ec-4a8a-86f4-35c0b3b3d399.jpg?v=1571611048 Just out of idle curiosity, how d’you manage to serve leftovers 14 days in a row? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201209 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201209_mounted_1cad28be-7c10-444e-a3b5-7c994dc3699b.jpg?v=1571611048 And just where have you been at 3 o’clock in the morning? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201210 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201210_mounted_4b9aff6f-895e-4729-b241-556dacd0a05d.jpg?v=1571611048 Whaddya mean you don’t know what it is? Who cooked it? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201211 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201211_mounted_dc33b925-7318-4b15-bc29-0a2dcb4806d8.jpg?v=1571611048 Take two just before you go to bed and two just before you wake up. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201212 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201212_mounted_7c934838-e2e4-4e3f-b58b-946136006016.jpg?v=1571611048 Is that what they teach you at mailman’s college? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201214 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201214_mounted_59db3cdf-95df-436b-944e-6917ffafa017.jpg?v=1571611048 Obviously you weren’t at the meeting this morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201215 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201215_mounted_4fad421a-6b0b-4891-a838-efbf027319cf.jpg?v=1571611048 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201216 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201216_mounted_5b8c1230-2fea-4061-bca2-c45465fb435b.jpg?v=1571611048 I’m starting my vacation tomorrow, so I’ll leave you 14 newspapers. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201217 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201217_mounted_75060d2d-4f38-4469-80b6-bcd15ec95242.jpg?v=1571611048 Port?! Starboard?! Can’t you speak English? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201218 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201218_mounted_d7c7c71e-1ba3-4b8b-9129-c3d2dc1d6119.jpg?v=1571611048 The computer handles all our loan applications. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201219 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201219_mounted_0e84d184-65b4-481a-9b19-172f8195b8b4.jpg?v=1571611048 When I was your age, I could do the 100-yard dash in 12 minutes! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201221 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201221_mounted_5523be29-8260-4ce4-96a7-3a303455cb6b.jpg?v=1571611048 Hello Frank. Does my insurance cover me for snapped-off needles? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201222 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201222_mounted_1000bf74-a031-43fe-87d2-d6bf62d5e7c6.jpg?v=1571611048 What exactly do you mean, Doc, by ‘your blood pressure pills aren’t working’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201223 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201223_mounted_06d6acb2-c64f-4f42-be44-a57d0104cfa0.jpg?v=1571611048 Do you have any other hobbies besides ‘birdwatching’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201224 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201224_mounted_2492df17-bf01-428c-a108-9258cbdbc382.jpg?v=1571611048 One egg sandwich with live entertainment, $12.50. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201225 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201225_mounted_afc972bb-211f-4c87-913d-392f13d01d50.jpg?v=1571611048 Same old Christmas. He bought me a power saw and I bought him gold earrings . https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201226 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201226_mounted_ae3ad514-9574-4ae7-8831-92ac93c9118b.jpg?v=1571611048 Stale donut and a cup of cold coffee, Harry. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201228 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201228_mounted_a1f34d47-8fcb-4e84-804b-5f6146b03689.jpg?v=1571611048 Today’s special is spaghetti and meatballs. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201229 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201229_mounted_378302a6-55ed-4b89-b1b9-46edc91b7251.jpg?v=1571611048 Solid as a rock and light as a feather. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201230 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201230_mounted_30e0ffca-170e-475c-9acd-368b8095330b.jpg?v=1571611048 Mention something about her not fooling around with my stereo equipment. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201231 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201231_mounted_66e71b78-27ca-4c1f-aa89-4d3040c6893f.jpg?v=1571611049 Dad took us to Sea World and fell in. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210101 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM210101_photo.jpg?v=1571611049 Will you get a move on with those loafers? He’s trying to leave! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210102 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210102_mounted_0c86ae6c-1f9e-418b-80c1-370a18893882.jpg?v=1571611049 I explained the risks to his wife and she thinks we should go for it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210104 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210104_mounted.jpg?v=1571611049 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210105 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210105_mounted.jpg?v=1571611049 He keeps forgetting his name. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210106 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210106_mounted_b04397f6-35b8-4ce0-b482-40ec299ffe4a.jpg?v=1571611049 We’re closing in five minutes. I’ll get you a blanket. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210107 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210107_mounted_d60e7e39-169e-471c-80cc-d7afbb8b2666.jpg?v=1571611049 It’s a little round white thing, comes out of a chicken. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210108 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210108_mounted_458586c1-e874-4112-8048-dfc80c4b5f48.jpg?v=1571611049 I got 30 days with no parole, Mildred. Don’t waste your life. Find someone else. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210109 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210109_mounted_3d572a4b-622b-48a9-9e46-7281b1677530.jpg?v=1571611049 They took away all my mink coats and my diamond-encrusted wristwatch. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210111 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210111_mounted_442b2c2c-8b33-49ba-beee-9420bcb62b16.jpg?v=1571611049 I could literally double my income with a 20-foot ladder. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210112 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210112_mounted_343b472d-818c-462c-ae00-8997dcdb4b95.jpg?v=1571611049 I need one more gallon of that ceiling white. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210113 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210113_mounted_1f34d284-e743-4003-a30d-519b3eaaeb1a.jpg?v=1571611049 My cousin, Herbie, got a job at a zoo. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210114 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210114_mounted_684156c0-d356-4703-9a83-dddfb01bb6ee.jpg?v=1571611049 Somebody tell that new assistant manager I found his sport jacket. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210115 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210115_mounted_05d0b87d-9729-44fa-a852-b12a820f3d49.jpg?v=1571611049 Eat this school report and let me do the talking. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210116 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210116_mounted_311f4d7c-06c5-4f57-aa94-aea9d4546d15.jpg?v=1571611049 Got any room in your freezer? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210118 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210118_mounted_70dc6d8f-b0a3-4cb8-9fc6-f90de0588089.jpg?v=1571611049 Who told you you could take it out yourself? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210119 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210119_mounted_481817e0-626f-439b-acb4-4b708a1b25f4.jpg?v=1571611049 I didn’t bring my glasses. Does that say you’ve been pardoned? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210120 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210120_mounted_df999f63-3724-4cf8-aae2-89d415e30caa.jpg?v=1571611049 Did anyone other than yourself know the combination? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210121 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210121_mounted_7d99ac75-68c1-4deb-95d2-5f7968496216.jpg?v=1571611049 Is there such a thing as a bathroom scale fitted with shock absorbers? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210122 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210122_mounted_0867dfd6-dbab-4f06-98b7-77fe0668eac7.jpg?v=1571611049 I think we can dispense with hand signals in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210123 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210123_mounted_09c7b4ab-3a8a-4fdf-bd57-4b203bed0b2c.jpg?v=1571611049 Here’s the latest word on that mystery object seen over our city this evening. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210126 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210126_mounted_f663e266-12ea-4bda-ac81-30fb99a516be.jpg?v=1571611049 You look like a man with the minimum daily requirement of intelligence. Where can I find a book on self-confidence? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210127 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210127_mounted_71ad4581-9feb-44f7-be19-3c0c37fe84a3.jpg?v=1571611049 What’s it gonna be: go for walkies, or have this bone and watch the game on TV? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210128 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210128_mounted_06603f24-8e18-4355-bb63-1ddd4170127c.jpg?v=1571611049 Can’t you see I’m eating? Why don’t you push off and go look at the penguins? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210129 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210129_mounted_26c6e261-8784-4e1a-ab55-d3a703a19d27.jpg?v=1571611049 I’ve come to ask for your daughter’s hand in moving my furniture. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210130 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210130_mounted_886f4912-3148-4b98-b7af-11c30e413f2f.jpg?v=1571611049 Detective Shenko, lady. You called in about a missing cat… https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210201 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210201_mounted_be8e5077-cc6f-459f-8ccb-fa445c1f6e71.jpg?v=1571611049 Randolph! Your blind date is here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210202 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210202_mounted_64df7a39-01ad-41d3-9d71-2f9476c91e01.jpg?v=1571611049 What about monkeys? You must have monkeys! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210203 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210203_mounted_09f6db09-e530-4ac7-ae0a-ab778821de4d.jpg?v=1571611050 What really bugs me is I can’t remember what I did. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210204 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210204_mounted_471d4945-7bda-4d3f-a8b0-2463efbc93e2.jpg?v=1571611050 See if you can get a saber-toothed tiger for the weekend. And make sure it’s not all fat. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210205 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210205_mounted_09901b1d-f572-4333-a4b6-f38aa7156c2c.jpg?v=1571611050 I told you you’d love it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210206 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210206_mounted_91cedc11-712f-44c2-a1e3-5f1d7cffbdf5.jpg?v=1571611050 Mrs. Rodriguez, next Monday I want you to stand in for me at the annual stockholders meeting. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210208 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210208_mounted_02f1d5f7-aec4-4af4-aa5d-d9a0d6c8a086.jpg?v=1571611050 I’ve only got a few minutes. Where are the short stories? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210209 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210209_mounted_6f4530f7-405d-40f6-852d-1d415057de3c.jpg?v=1571611050 I called your receptionist this morning for a 3 o’clock appointment to have my eyes tested. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210210 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210210_mounted_e535a9c8-edf6-46f4-93d9-1f3df4f1a0cb.jpg?v=1571611050 These won’t help you sleep, but they’ll stop you tossing and turning all night. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210211 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210211_mounted_d41fb881-20cb-4b61-9863-d692fa71dd04.jpg?v=1571611050 I’m making you Dobson’s personal assistant until his feet get better. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210212 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210212_mounted_9ac9529a-ca97-4f32-80b5-f1f68b1a0cc7.jpg?v=1571611050 We’re living in very strange times, Martha. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210213 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210213_mounted_065a12f1-373e-4f2c-b99c-20a094e65111.jpg?v=1571611050 Who said ‘No man is an island’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210215 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210215_mounted_dd2fed3a-4ceb-4e4b-bd7b-8d66a9f2002b.jpg?v=1571611050 I think this one is yours. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210216 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210216_mounted_3d8b70ab-71be-4011-b7a3-1f4c17554639.jpg?v=1571611050 They all want coffee. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210217 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210217_mounted_c417aba5-1309-4b42-9d1b-2e545a110135.jpg?v=1571611050 Don’t touch that volume control. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210219 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210219_mounted_d1f2e329-7484-4d58-9fc3-9000ab665c77.jpg?v=1571611050 Clamp. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210220 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210220_mounted_894fd468-1f8c-4efe-bf39-e15b3405a7ac.jpg?v=1571611050 I think you’ll enjoy working here. We’re very informal. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210222 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210222_mounted_f2e73fd9-9abe-4875-a7d7-88acc293dd11.jpg?v=1571611050 Have you got one with an eye-level grill? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210223 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210223_mounted_432c8f8a-2f16-4345-a12a-58bad9e3733c.jpg?v=1571611050 OK. Here he comes. Now remember everything I taught you. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210224 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210224_mounted_aff00731-8b6c-413f-9035-bed6dad00d04.jpg?v=1571611050 I’m back! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210225 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210225_mounted_0f359431-9afb-4667-8487-57cebbd0ce47.jpg?v=1571611050 Your four years’ hard work in the basement just came waltzing up the stairs. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210226 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210226_mounted_d93b33e1-9c43-4d85-b275-9496a00f418a.jpg?v=1571611050 Any questions so far? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210227 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210227_mounted_9f92da0a-6849-43dd-a71b-d6c0486c5d5f.jpg?v=1571611050 My daughter tells me you’re a lifeguard. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210301 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210301_mounted_708274fb-2059-4b02-be03-4d475959e3d8.jpg?v=1571611050 It was a choice between one of these or a dozen skimpy little roses. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210302 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210302_mounted_ec1eaee4-832c-476c-a241-3328fb27aeac.jpg?v=1571611050 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210303 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210303_mounted_915ff401-7117-4489-9403-a7ae0654db9d.jpg?v=1571611050 I wish I could lay around in bed all day every time I had a sore throat. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210304 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210304_mounted_835c3d95-75b4-4715-93d5-f59f4a94d453.jpg?v=1571611050 Dropping out of school never done me no harm. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210305 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210305_mounted_ebafa28d-acac-46c7-a549-3131dafba414.jpg?v=1571611050 I used to have a dog, but he wouldn’t eat my wife’s leftovers. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210306 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210306_mounted_f9ff46ad-ea43-4ef0-a8a4-7b77b120fe71.jpg?v=1571611050 I don’t want that right in front of the TV. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210308 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210308_mounted_386d2060-7f74-4981-8f57-898910736fcd.jpg?v=1571611051 You still having trouble sleeping? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210309 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210309_mounted_f87d5f85-8479-405a-b3a8-30c4eddf0f72.jpg?v=1571611051 What’s the matter with you? That’s the third time you’ve knocked over the coffee. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210310 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210310_mounted_29effe4c-5df9-48f6-8cb5-bfca7d6dabe8.jpg?v=1571611051 Miss Stokes, I’ve been looking at your work record, and you’re taking far too many days off. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210311 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210311_mounted_364251c2-c2b8-4d5a-9f82-40a1385a2b94.jpg?v=1571611051 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210312 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210312_mounted_d3d2f808-28f0-413a-8926-6f83801e74b7.jpg?v=1571611051 He’s down in the basement cleaning the furnace. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210313 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210313_mounted_71fd8486-3999-449b-b778-447bd7a711ec.jpg?v=1571611051 Anybody wanna cross the street? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210315 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210315_mounted_4d9728ba-2563-4857-83b9-7b8cfba1955d.jpg?v=1571611051 You’d be in a lousy mood, too, if you had to deal with twits like this every day. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210316 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210316_mounted_df066e49-7aa1-42a7-a569-7732784c718a.jpg?v=1571611051 Arnold, where can I lay my hands on a fan belt for a 2048 Cosmos Star cruiser? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210317 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210317_mounted_6dbbf67c-4acc-4257-bcb1-205ad96dd786.jpg?v=1571611051 I’m not nagging. I just said I hope you’re not going to ruin my sister’s wedding. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210318 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210318_mounted_4b912609-3b23-405a-9113-5748e348da6d.jpg?v=1571611051 If you don’t mind me saying so, sir, he never did take well to captivity. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210319 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210319_mounted_b5df7f23-e0c4-4d86-b37b-9be4ac89f21a.jpg?v=1571611051 Did I tell you I was voted ‘The boy most likely to go somewhere’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210320 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210320_mounted_1d5a53cc-c209-43c8-8c76-51b1e60b7f33.jpg?v=1571611051 Of course I remembered your birthday! I had a drink with the guys at lunchtime. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210322 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210322_mounted_68567b20-a343-4fce-91c3-c68fc44136d7.jpg?v=1571611051 We had a trial separation, but she found me. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210323 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210323_mounted_f351c62a-9924-4c68-8430-b5e1d249aeb3.jpg?v=1571611051 Here’s a nice two-bedroom apartment, but they don’t allow pets. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210324 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210324_mounted_faed53aa-9a18-4172-bfc0-c9155d2161ff.jpg?v=1571611051 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210325 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210325_mounted_0008283b-7481-4fbf-8968-d1f86cfe4717.jpg?v=1571611051 … and cancel the tickets to Acapulco. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210326 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210326_mounted_be1cf237-0e36-43e8-92bc-1d5caafa25d6.jpg?v=1571611051 It’s a grocery list, Brother Clarence! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210327 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210327_mounted_9b147009-5707-4a20-a5a4-5dd11b9e9ee4.jpg?v=1571611051 Dad, I’ve been thinking: Why don’t we get a dog? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210329 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210329_mounted_e46e169e-6ede-4d2e-8a91-06c95318c6a4.jpg?v=1571611051 Open the door. How can new seat covers catch measles? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210330 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210330_mounted_5374a0b6-b7fb-403a-99a8-55282b371084.jpg?v=1571611051 Your bank manager says he doesn’t recommend surgery at this time. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210331 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210331_mounted_1b6cab15-17e4-412c-afe4-97866fecb3c3.jpg?v=1571611051 Here we are, Mount Everest. I need 29,000 feet of rope. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210401 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210401_mounted_5deadd41-7d63-4007-8d93-369117b0a5a1.jpg?v=1571611051 Hello, operator. I wanna place a collect call to the zoo. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210402 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210402_mounted_ea92610c-5900-4477-98b3-e97d1bd643c2.jpg?v=1571611051 Why would I take your pipe? Have you looked in the kitchen? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210403 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210403_mounted_b485caf1-3b12-48ee-a1c6-d70425d23b43.jpg?v=1571611051 Have you done the north slope? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210405 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210405_mounted_13c65692-95b4-452d-a3aa-2987c9027542.jpg?v=1571611051 Did they tell you I had to take one of my pills at 2 o’clock? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210406 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210406_mounted_80f04169-1a30-401b-9d70-004cc9aedd72.jpg?v=1571611051 I thought your resume said you did 40 words a minute. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210407 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210407_mounted_c9939f73-b780-4201-bc69-1bd444040fde.jpg?v=1571611052 Is that ‘turkey with noodles’, ‘beef with cabbage’ or ‘lasagna’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210408 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210408_mounted_50bcb030-8e95-4955-aee0-5c461d3591f4.jpg?v=1571611052 I’ll be honest with you, this is not the largest planet in the universe. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210409 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210409_mounted_c4d6c302-e0a9-40f9-bb46-666de7e00914.jpg?v=1571611052 When we get home, pretend you’re out of breath. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210410 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210410_mounted_003c47d8-95ea-4e3a-8f65-cf901278c9f8.jpg?v=1571611052 Let’s see… Your wife had a baby girl at 2:15 a.m. , a boy at 2:20 a.m. and another two girls at 2:25 a.m. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210412 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210412_mounted_b809d866-7deb-4d4e-b4fc-f0d8a0e04345.jpg?v=1571611052 Bill specializes in the study of rare diseases. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210413 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210413_mounted_e9e717a4-b6fe-43e8-bff8-c00c4349965a.jpg?v=1571611052 Your previous employer says you’re unpredictable. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210414 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210414_mounted_6abeedca-a266-408f-95f4-1b2df6e4f18d.jpg?v=1571611052 You wouldn’t believe the time we had getting him down those stairs. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210415 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210415_mounted_5ba85c69-8749-4aa8-b16d-defa2d826157.jpg?v=1571611052 If it looks like a close finish, jump off. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210416 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210416_mounted_bd6eff2a-535d-4421-9032-6414c8e11860.jpg?v=1571611052 He’s a bit nervous. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210417 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210417_mounted_544f4e49-778f-40e7-a27d-a594f957046c.jpg?v=1571611052 It’s me. I think I’m having a nightmare. Check and see if I’m in bed. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210419 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210419_mounted_a8e612e6-0ec7-4770-aaf3-68c3eaba9a14.jpg?v=1571611052 This’ll take about 20 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210420 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210420_mounted_d585173b-9554-40f2-ad94-4b110c395241.jpg?v=1571611052 I’ve still got a few wrinkles to iron out. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210421 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210421_mounted_f125134c-cc28-4cba-a585-a7c946ff62bd.jpg?v=1571611052 I still think these old statues are more comfortable than the modern stuff. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210422 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210422_mounted_cf92c9e6-a4de-4d56-bfe6-ee511d8e6670.jpg?v=1571611052 Nice job, Percy. See you next time. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210423 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210423_mounted_bffab9fe-be8d-4520-ac06-52f62f83500e.jpg?v=1571611052 We shot the decoy! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210424 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210424_mounted_c83a09ae-25c3-4d47-b190-d8f719dc43ab.jpg?v=1571611052 She hid all my clothes so I couldn’t go out tonight. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210426 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210426_mounted_ac730d09-0a11-4320-a968-6bb697fd8773.jpg?v=1571611052 What do you want on your hamburger? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210427 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210427_mounted_f6e3d07e-4513-458a-8791-708ee82973f6.jpg?v=1571611052 The wife used to do quite a bit of modeling… until she lost her tube of glue. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210428 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210428_mounted_8bff22bf-2b0e-4e5a-9c6f-1466d97ed8ee.jpg?v=1571611052 OK. You can put your clothes back on. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210429 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210429_mounted_5724133c-391f-4c27-a2d8-6d68a81ea072.jpg?v=1571611053 If you want to be a grandfather, you’ve got to make a few sacrifices. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210430 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210430_mounted_746f4fab-da1c-44cd-85e4-0bac8b635af4.jpg?v=1571611053 The housewarming party has been postponed. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210501 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210501_mounted_35a56794-b661-4ab7-ae1a-364903458971.jpg?v=1571611053 Is it OK if Vanessa chooses one for herself? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210503 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210503_mounted_8b2b4586-b812-436c-97f4-0bb58956efab.jpg?v=1571611053 So I said, ‘If you wanted to do something useful around here, why don’t you paint the fence’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210504 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210504_mounted_daad0c53-dffc-4fcb-8750-981182aad333.jpg?v=1571611053 He was only 35 years old when he did that one. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210505 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210505_mounted_39419683-c9b3-4c43-b301-04947c31bbfb.jpg?v=1571611053 Please take your shoes off. I’ve just put down clean newspaper. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210506 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210506_mounted_59655449-ec9d-4cab-9a91-28573cf2b054.jpg?v=1571611053 Thank you, Burrows, for that descriptive insight into the nuclear arms race. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210507 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210507_mounted_e20ac69d-78d5-4bdd-ab59-05647e0cce35.jpg?v=1571611053 Very impressive. How do you feel about relocating? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210508 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210508_mounted_9921913b-424a-4c2b-8f91-b90d22d4de21.jpg?v=1571611053 I feel a lot better since I ran out of those pills you gave me. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210510 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210510_mounted_dac798d1-10f4-4631-a6bd-e2c745a10b84.jpg?v=1571611053 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210511 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210511_mounted_ca37db7a-2171-4efd-83f9-32e8de0c2b22.jpg?v=1571611053 Have you got another menu? I can’t afford anything on this one. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210512 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210512_mounted_420397b1-de63-479f-b0c7-49a3f49c1a0d.jpg?v=1571611053 Do you have any special plans for this pork chop? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210513 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210513_mounted_24b4ec6e-78d4-48a1-bd41-db1d7e17f980.jpg?v=1571611053 Does that say, ‘Learn to read in seven days’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210514 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210514_mounted_9d6bfb92-a6a9-4d57-8b56-ae382922ce8b.jpg?v=1571611054 Detective Parker, zoo patrol. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210515 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210515_mounted_8fa51120-ee0f-4677-a790-c2a7c71cae47.jpg?v=1571611054 I can’t find his file. Is it under ‘C’ for crazy or ‘H’ for horse? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210517 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210517_mounted_dc5c363c-5eec-4b4d-b3f4-b297f274a1fd.jpg?v=1571611054 I’m sure you’ve all been anxious to meet our new company chairman. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210518 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210518_mounted_f59b07ef-8c4c-45d2-bd3c-a1cbe71b1f82.jpg?v=1571611054 Run out back and stick ‘Happy Birthday’ on that for me. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210519 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210519_mounted_fb44c13b-eb69-49fd-9007-e24e9cb902dc.jpg?v=1571611054 Good grief, man. It’s only a parking ticket! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210520 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210520_mounted_54df802e-249c-400a-bf38-3568e9642b94.jpg?v=1571611054 He’ll be 42 years old next month. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210521 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210521_mounted_b413e0b6-6eab-4842-9fc7-fce2ca5e492c.jpg?v=1571611054 I’m sorry, sir, I just can’t find it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210522 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210522_mounted_4b8311ba-a3c1-483c-a7f2-f2aa44133156.jpg?v=1571611054 Cheese omelet, sunny side up. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210524 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210524_mounted_8d4aa736-d811-4138-ab87-5c8232f25d88.jpg?v=1571611054 OK, five more minutes, then we’ll go somewhere else. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210525 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210525_mounted_472e5ee4-7771-43df-8618-95c862adeefa.jpg?v=1571611054 You’d better cancel the rest of my appointments. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210526 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210526_mounted_8c8708c6-b702-46c4-a0a3-2af26e8a5c3c.jpg?v=1571611054 So much for your theory that the earth is round. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210527 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210527_mounted_728a5767-0d7f-40c9-b59b-5eed3da956b6.jpg?v=1571611054 Catch of the day is the egg salad sandwich for $6. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210528 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210528_mounted_da7ee209-f7f0-4893-8eae-fff09133fc22.jpg?v=1571611054 Chest, 68. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210529 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210529_mounted_feeddd1a-4d27-4252-8181-4f6a97b0f5d5.jpg?v=1571611054 Your mother’s been at my wine again. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210531 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210531_mounted_03051936-e58b-4405-89f9-c085080d8e7d.jpg?v=1571611054 Mildew, I’m not accusing you, but there’s a grape missing. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210601 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210601_mounted_c1bb1515-55bc-454f-add3-12883a00e761.jpg?v=1571611054 Salesman of the week gets to go to Hawaii. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210602 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210602_mounted_5dffc3b6-7c36-49d5-b6ed-a6ad36b50f1d.jpg?v=1571611054 Personally, I think it’s all these chemicals they spray on the fruit. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210603 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210603_mounted_1e4d3b69-56c3-4046-8a56-5a61af7a3d49.jpg?v=1571611054 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210604 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210604_mounted_a5170a2b-8f92-4422-8956-1aed13a3d09c.jpg?v=1571611054 Got any books about this wide? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210605 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210605_mounted_0ec1feba-650d-449a-8f5e-204384df9ace.jpg?v=1571611054 I’ll have a cheeseburger with everything on it except cheese. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210607 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210607_mounted_958d436d-db0f-4b4f-8325-901c8968336f.jpg?v=1571611054 I just got a late score. Romans 2,168; Carthaginians 1,804. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210608 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210608_mounted_93607caf-dd36-43f7-a2d8-7b73f4f6aedb.jpg?v=1571611054 And don’t let me find out you’re having a good time. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210609 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210609_mounted_ecb3c9e9-a25b-4428-b470-d1bfff4f1586.jpg?v=1571611054 These all suddenly disappeared about 2 million years ago. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210610 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210610_mounted_cb9d89d5-9ab9-4373-b0d7-9057e148ee5d.jpg?v=1571611054 You name it. I’m collecting for it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210611 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210611_mounted_f3f2dd30-5e98-41bf-8f12-dd6ab16fcf1c.jpg?v=1571611054 Two bedrooms. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210612 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210612_mounted_61f3fe0c-5032-4314-b334-7b2309cc9e7d.jpg?v=1571611055 OK, here are your exam results. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210614 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210614_mounted_4bf11454-2542-4d42-a427-6af0fd45c7bd.jpg?v=1571611055 I can’t listen to you and him at the same time. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210615 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210615_mounted_3a0f2d6a-61b4-4e28-b3c6-5b4387e5c8a3.jpg?v=1571611055 You can go back, Johnson, we got the door open. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210616 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210616_mounted_b58889f1-8c08-4bec-88e0-a1d407056d91.jpg?v=1571611055 Did you see which way the camel went? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210617 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210617_mounted_1209a6ef-0c0d-4892-855f-87e57de05972.jpg?v=1571611055 He’s been driving me nuts since he did that dog food commercial. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210618 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210618_mounted_52e6c089-5cdf-49f5-b6d9-d9d5003e62d5.jpg?v=1571611055 Anybody else like a cake? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210619 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210619_mounted_94b6a3b5-88c3-42e4-96d9-5f88971d1dcd.jpg?v=1571611055 These clubs are going back to the store. They’re useless. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210621 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210621_mounted_4587465f-4a45-4563-acc9-9471aac48a07.jpg?v=1571611055 We’ve got 72 pictures of our wedding and he’s not in one of them. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210622 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210622_mounted_4bc184ee-7096-4469-9e1c-428704dd1e14.jpg?v=1571611055 Quick. Untie me, Maurice. Your mother’s got my credit cards. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210623 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210623_mounted_42d9a84b-ad6d-4554-b070-77d29b2acd70.jpg?v=1571611055 I thought it was just one dog in the pet store. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210624 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210624_mounted_89a813ba-ca0c-43c7-a19d-5871b4978226.jpg?v=1571611055 That, my friend, is a Tasmanian dive-bomber. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210625 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210625_mounted_87356131-4b3e-4272-95aa-13dce6e55b00.jpg?v=1571611055 OK. I’ll be back to pick you up in 25 years. What time? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210626 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210626_mounted_2c9c1495-00bb-4bbb-9f86-46de4e2a639b.jpg?v=1571611055 Let’s go over to that new restaurant with the outside terrace and get some french fries. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210628 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210628_mounted_5c53d2f8-457b-4862-8fb7-c9f5ec6eac35.jpg?v=1571611055 I told you not to open it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210629 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210629_mounted_ea4295e9-7cee-4aa6-a388-5403b166dfda.jpg?v=1571611055 Is your daughter still in the same room? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210630 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210630_mounted_6ffb0ed3-7afa-46f1-99e9-5433eb4ca3cf.jpg?v=1571611055 The guy next door has gone away for the weekend. D’you wanna hear a singing telegram? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210701 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210701_mounted_4a7aae9d-0f52-425f-9a87-facf0ef8c177.jpg?v=1571611055 This your idea, was it? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210702 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210702_mounted_dc17337b-2b69-4153-aa14-732e34eafff3.jpg?v=1571611055 And you say your bike was chained to it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210703 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210703_mounted_e77193ea-2d9f-4a4b-9a0f-e251177159e2.jpg?v=1571611055 Don’t try to sneak by, sir. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210705 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210705_mounted_8fe1a230-0d35-4a19-a698-8d36540a1c55.jpg?v=1571611055 If you’ve stopped serving breakfast, I’ll have a bowl of corn flakes for lunch. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210706 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210706_mounted_d710ef71-a1c1-4b94-8d05-3b1a3d8795d2.jpg?v=1571611055 I bought you that tie 40 years ago and this is the first time you’ve worn it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210707 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210707_mounted_fc2870d5-c411-45fa-8f10-6d2fa974145f.jpg?v=1571611055 That’s perfect, Wayne. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210708 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210708_mounted_70b6350f-3a06-4fce-bd4d-2b2e83c6f1e5.jpg?v=1571611055 Where’s the weiner? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210714 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210714_mounted_74024b84-f62b-4b04-8dbb-16b26022b0f1.jpg?v=1571611055 Will you quit looking at your watch! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210715 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210715_mounted_8706b2c6-9ae8-43fb-828f-f7ee6bb1534e.jpg?v=1571611055 You won’t be able to write a check with your hands shaking like that. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210716 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210716_mounted_6eb8ea68-3ae4-4182-8dc2-f53dc978e8be.jpg?v=1571611055 Fifteen years in the rat race, Ralph. Who needs it? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210717 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210717_mounted_ac2b077e-e054-4799-ba2b-3a8644ba6409.jpg?v=1571611056 Is your knee still bothering you? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210719 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210719_mounted_f7c6721a-dc3d-4f73-9c27-b70c6f026473.jpg?v=1571611056 Is the police cruiser still behind us? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210720 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210720_mounted_b40e0d84-1650-48df-8db9-cb5c913926c2.jpg?v=1571611056 I am not getting angry. I just want to know what you mean by ‘triplets.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210721 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210721_mounted_26dfce71-1639-4730-821f-ace58daf7e19.jpg?v=1571611056 Don’t tell me, let me guess. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210722 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210722_mounted_c1366ead-f606-4a6f-aa8b-5c6383f384d1.jpg?v=1571611056 What do you mean, ‘Put up the tent’? That’s it! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210723 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210723_mounted_3af42c16-5da2-42e6-b240-6ef72881ceec.jpg?v=1571611056 Where did you learn a word like that? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210724 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210724_mounted_78202249-c894-4869-9866-bf960ead3dd4.jpg?v=1571611056 One day, kid, this will all be yours. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210726 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210726_mounted_3169f6c6-ca7d-44dd-bded-4d0007e80cc7.jpg?v=1571611056 You’re not using enough gunpowder, Harry. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210727 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210727_mounted_a9d8a39c-bc31-4c68-842a-bb09ee1688c0.jpg?v=1571611056 Your horoscope says, ‘Luck is on your side today. Don’t be afraid to take risks.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210728 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210728_mounted_268b89dd-0dc5-458b-8553-d7249e49e15c.jpg?v=1571611056 Yes, the copier! It needs fixing again. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210729 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210729_mounted_a0731941-88c5-4e65-8e02-e86df8511c18.jpg?v=1571611056 Is there a band in front of me? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210730 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210730_mounted_fc8e1cb5-2616-464f-b6aa-6fb591bd5388.jpg?v=1571611056 Couldn’t you hear me knocking? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210731 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210731_mounted_58a49278-ff36-4c0e-8561-ee0d89f3aea5.jpg?v=1571611056 We didn’t reserve a table. I brought my own. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210802 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210802_mounted_9854a115-5a5a-442a-ae49-043e268363b8.jpg?v=1571611056 I told you not to call me at work after 9 o’clock. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210803 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210803_mounted_55bf09b4-4f30-49d9-b997-cad2752916d9.jpg?v=1571611056 You must be the new sheriff. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210804 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210804_mounted_9d6e68cf-b261-412d-bda3-9e8cb9028297.jpg?v=1571611056 Oh, no! The ink’s coming off this twenty. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210805 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210805_mounted_5a67b63b-f174-4c52-8cab-9ab4c8459c88.jpg?v=1571611056 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210806 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210806_mounted_7f8c52d6-146e-43c2-a927-55304550c939.jpg?v=1571611056 Sorry, pal. I just bought the planet. I want you and all your buddies off by next Friday. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210807 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210807_mounted_bcf0a07f-3831-4cef-8a8f-eb074a288558.jpg?v=1571611056 Where have you been all day? There’s a mouse in the bedroom. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210809 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210809_mounted_34438853-7b38-4bb1-8cf4-fec0fcaed992.jpg?v=1571611056 Take a tip, pal. Never let them know you can read. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210810 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210810_mounted_8ba4c5b3-0359-4cff-a703-d2445d71cc9c.jpg?v=1571611056 It doesn’t pay to advertise. Someone stole the dog. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210811 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210811_mounted_3da599b8-18a0-48bb-b88a-84856c1dea4b.jpg?v=1571611056 I wanna try something. Grab both my legs and push. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210812 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210812_mounted_de738b95-21e4-47d6-a324-8d0aada810cc.jpg?v=1571611056 Does car insurance cover ornamental fountains? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210813 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210813_mounted_9e33b5d3-c22d-4a38-a200-889e42e763ec.jpg?v=1571611056 It’s really stuck. Do you think you’ll be able to play it like that? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210814 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210814_mounted_339b90fb-8d91-493a-b4a8-d9417fce2dde.jpg?v=1571611056 It’s still wobbling. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210816 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210816_mounted_6437b51e-d696-4131-b61c-4e36c435d579.jpg?v=1571611056 Now, now… What’s all this I hear about you not wanting to come into my nice hospital. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210817 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210817_mounted_53c61b01-6fe5-482d-afd9-6124ea4064ba.jpg?v=1571611057 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210818 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210818_mounted_9a08b6a4-dab7-4719-a522-b48dfe4634b9.jpg?v=1571611057 They’re keeping me in for observation. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210819 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210819_mounted_db1d6c27-a1c1-4241-a509-d278e238fab6.jpg?v=1571611057 Do something, Dad! A big kid at school kicked me in the leg. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210820 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210820_mounted_6c809f02-7f6e-4aea-91a2-ba4f15cb7aa0.jpg?v=1571611057 What are you crying for? I promise you’ll have it back by tomorrow. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210821 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210821_mounted_7bb3553b-f778-4c73-a0dd-3a8fc36756fc.jpg?v=1571611057 We’ll have to eat in the kitchen. Your dinner’s stuck to the stove. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210823 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210823_mounted_5cdd53b5-7061-4051-8db4-51c85d0f740a.jpg?v=1571611057 The baby sitter fell asleep and some gangsters broke in and ate the rest of that chocolate cake. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210824 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210824_mounted_0c40a78d-bd6d-4b33-8951-9d50154b7ec5.jpg?v=1571611057 Today’s topic is ‘public awareness.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210825 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210825_mounted_a9d2dba5-7be1-47ad-ad96-af5716756692.jpg?v=1571611057 I’m giving the goldfish a good swim. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210826 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210826_mounted_3ccb7f39-44b3-4ef6-a2bb-ed56fe1bed3c.jpg?v=1571611057 Do you realize it’s been 12 years since we went through the express checkout? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210827 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210827_mounted_3ce55a91-2c46-4c1f-a2cb-26c04b6d5c03.jpg?v=1571611057 Do you always have to buy the cheapest cuts of meat? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210828 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210828_mounted_1fb051ed-15aa-4696-8d01-5d1420b113ac.jpg?v=1571611057 OK, OK. Not guilty. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210830 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210830_mounted_eedefce3-836e-4c59-aa2e-e564c1f8868b.jpg?v=1571611057 Wanna go see a movie, baby? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210831 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210831_mounted_a58a4fba-b46b-49ca-9d38-7235c70fbfb9.jpg?v=1571611057 Is your mommy or daddy home? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210901 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210901_mounted_e688c3a6-1bf7-416f-8cf6-38673f314730.jpg?v=1571611057 It’s our anniversary. What have you got that leaves a bad taste in the mouth? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210902 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210902_mounted_d900af13-ff88-4cb3-8fa3-fa6ff71d1241.jpg?v=1571611057 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210903 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210903_mounted_83f100de-fd28-49ef-848c-2b0a398c0397.jpg?v=1571611057 This is a good one! The guy’s trying to make a date with the operator. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210904 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210904_mounted_e2345d86-2b4f-44b0-8065-1cccb68ad421.jpg?v=1571611057 It’s quite a friendly neighbourhood. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210906 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210906_mounted_028996cc-f2a8-425f-a34d-eecc124b6b96.jpg?v=1571611057 I’m out of horses until next Thursday. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210907 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210907_mounted_28cb58d7-4b6f-4eb7-b405-66fa733a709d.jpg?v=1571611057 Send in the next three patients. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210908 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210908_mounted_e7a6b5dd-51f2-444b-8b33-cf6388349798.jpg?v=1571611057 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210909 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210909_mounted_e8aac73a-f689-46f2-9f1d-8c9c482a32e4.jpg?v=1571611057 Why are you still wearing that cap? I’ve thrown it in the garbage three times. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210910 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210910_mounted_41d3f736-38c9-4b46-a5d4-5f3e4e27c5a3.jpg?v=1571611058 I get mixed up with Jupiter and Saturn. Why don’t you ask at the gas station? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210911 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210911_mounted_fa893955-c645-4881-8475-ab187e251ffb.jpg?v=1571611058 I’ll explain later. He had to go to the hospital. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210913 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210913_mounted_3d2a740c-441c-4a8b-8199-07e72041eb4c.jpg?v=1571611058 Five more minutes. Grandpa’s been on his feet all day. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210914 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210914_mounted_32a083bb-c0ec-46a7-b330-7f49dedb7a5d.jpg?v=1571611058 I guess you heard about the floods on Mars? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210915 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210915_mounted_a4cf8e68-b523-4aa4-a473-f5dc66ec25a7.jpg?v=1571611058 You wouldn’t believe me if I told you how many guys sit on their wife’s knitting. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210916 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210916_mounted_d6813fc6-759f-47e0-a033-0cb3ac153d00.jpg?v=1571611058 Randolph, I’m talking to a real live brontosaurus. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210917 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210917_mounted_6b5cd609-76fc-41e3-bdf7-7e78fd5cf164.jpg?v=1571611058 Excuse me, sir, do you think I could trouble you to pass the salt? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210918 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210918_mounted_b7c457f6-0202-4ade-a4f3-a0f45650de83.jpg?v=1571611058 Muriel, he’s gone. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210920 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210920_mounted_16433a5d-eece-4786-af4e-772ebd76d602.jpg?v=1571611058 If you must know, I don’t like soap in my eyes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210921 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210921_mounted_31474e61-95e6-40ba-aaf7-0dcb284a896e.jpg?v=1571611058 You expect me to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, and then you ask me a question like that! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210922 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210922_mounted_059468b0-72fa-49ce-aa8c-f4eb491f0bea.jpg?v=1571611058 Watch out, Maurice. It may be a trap. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210923 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210923_mounted_7485eba7-d1a8-46fd-9770-1164f79e0a0e.jpg?v=1571611058 He says there’s definitely no intelligent life down here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210924 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210924_mounted_8e5ff946-ad2b-45c4-8762-bb07b1233dad.jpg?v=1571611058 When you read that letter of reference, you’ll understand why I left. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210925 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210925_mounted_6624addf-2f20-4996-aaf2-16e8d19dcb1f.jpg?v=1571611058 Are you joking? Six dollars to send that? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210927 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210927_mounted_5b6ebeec-4565-4631-a374-2dcedad42219.jpg?v=1571611058 I don’t think I’ve heard of you before and I’m beginning to see why. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210928 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210928_mounted_04b4241d-af96-4a9c-bdbe-b4eeda91a68b.jpg?v=1571611058 I can’t see Flipper or Goldie! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210929 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210929_mounted_c5284df4-f098-49c1-87ea-24176c9e425f.jpg?v=1571611058 You said we could get a bigger car when the triplets were born. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210930 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210930_mounted_485070b3-0087-438e-a6f0-a6739583d3c6.jpg?v=1571611058 I’ll let you decide, but they said the electricity will be off for at least an hour. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211001 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211001_mounted_06562e46-6425-4fb2-8b79-1231ff2d498a.jpg?v=1571611058 Here, kitty, kitty. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211002 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211002_mounted_616e0834-81c2-488a-9c7a-846bd1610637.jpg?v=1571611058 His hospital insurance runs out in 15 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211004 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211004_mounted_af933b73-9365-4bbc-b924-0da071b0e56c.jpg?v=1571611058 I told you to stay away from the highway. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211005 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211005_mounted_1abfc861-08d9-4d24-80c7-2ea6bb68777b.jpg?v=1571611058 She said she wants to look at some fur coats, so I’m taking her to the zoo. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211006 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211006_mounted_ead8f3f4-782e-45dc-b2a6-10d99279e597.jpg?v=1571611058 I’m going to ask the warden if he’ll let you look after Rusty for a couple of weeks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211007 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211007_mounted_5b6abef6-041f-4ae1-9cf5-18a56e140dcc.jpg?v=1571611058 My pet snake swallowed a broom handle. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211008 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211008_mounted_660c9760-ac55-4571-af58-abc452cc615d.jpg?v=1571611058 You’ve got to be over at the park at 6 o’clock to fight Henry O’Grady’s father. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211009 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211009_mounted_d488a67d-26e6-40c2-9625-b927c7ed809b.jpg?v=1571611058 How do you say, ‘We came to your country to find our suitcases’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211011 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211011_mounted_229d6c54-586e-4712-b971-c1bfab8b95ec.jpg?v=1571611059 I’d like to borrow just enough to get myself out of debt. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211012 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211012_mounted_9ff1105e-1be0-462f-8f5a-46318529a53f.jpg?v=1571611059 I need a door like this but with number 37 on it… We’re moving. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211013 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211013_mounted_f049ae0f-5a2e-4e39-b3c5-b8c216a15a37.jpg?v=1571611059 I’ll serve your dinner as soon as the smoke clears. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211014 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211014_mounted_59cbe29d-ab93-4800-8baf-17e61a8f01b4.jpg?v=1571611059 Couldn’t you hear me shouting out there? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211015 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211015_mounted_e12d249b-b087-423e-b4c8-27b5b0477365.jpg?v=1571611059 I can hear the sea! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211016 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211016_mounted_17860aef-8ec8-4ff9-af31-043af7f7a708.jpg?v=1571611059 Did you see this? Three rooms of furniture for $15! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211018 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211018_mounted_f86d8c18-8c42-4ed0-940d-958b7e3749de.jpg?v=1571611059 The plumber told you not to block that overflow. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211019 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211019_mounted_47663598-9092-4d73-8b5f-8acbb1399144.jpg?v=1571611059 Drop everything, Joyce. I want you to type this memo. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211020 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211020_mounted_7066b944-1c1d-4994-a1e6-69bad516d9b4.jpg?v=1571611059 Do we set our watches back 4,000 years or forward 4,000 years? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211021 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211021_mounted_2d07e4c8-f9e3-4044-b842-6db6c7739502.jpg?v=1571611059 Come on… you won’t get to be a guard dog just by looking at it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211022 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211022_mounted_053e46d7-eae0-4c60-a8cb-af32c0a1cf30.jpg?v=1571611059 All the kids at your school sent you a get-well card. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211023 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211023_mounted_6b437051-892b-4468-96ae-648e2c63d495.jpg?v=1571611059 The agency sent me. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211025 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211025_mounted_12e45b0d-0dd8-4ecf-8617-c97d1679e17f.jpg?v=1571611059 Only you would book a flight at 4:30 in the morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211026 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211026_mounted_7dbe32a2-f02b-47a1-8941-23ee672b1d61.jpg?v=1571611059 I want you to start jogging three times a week. But not on Woodbine Crescent. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211027 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211027_mounted_9b99067d-c77b-4641-959b-c9b22e7e9f71.jpg?v=1571611059 Are you three all together? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211028 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211028_mounted_1f5278ec-126e-4118-83cb-2d33aba25545.jpg?v=1571611059 I hope you don’t expect me to pay for a three-minute lesson. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211029 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211029_mounted_c508e845-d1c1-4c5a-b0e6-4465e266b8de.jpg?v=1571611059 One… small… step for worms… https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211030 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211030_mounted_6c81d571-c745-49e3-b0a7-3e884e7bcb1d.jpg?v=1571611059 I think you’re reeling them in too slow. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211101 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211101_mounted_c3de2b61-85e8-42ab-adda-8e57eb3c9410.jpg?v=1571611059 Going up the Amazon? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211102 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211102_mounted_18421001-6442-44e4-9d4b-e57dc613469d.jpg?v=1571611059 Is this your eye-witness? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211103 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211103_mounted_57632796-ae9a-476c-a622-102d767d85a2.jpg?v=1571611059 Mother, I thought we’d agreed - ‘no luxuries.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211104 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211104_mounted_090bc38a-d228-4a75-afa3-0446405f8f23.jpg?v=1571611059 They all sound the same to me after 30 years. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211105 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211105_mounted_833c0a3e-9cf7-4ee2-8cfc-d32eade12f90.jpg?v=1571611059 I don’t think you’re cut out to be a violin player. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211106 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211106_mounted_1021fe4c-49aa-4140-8bb4-0fdd942419ae.jpg?v=1571611059 I hope you realize you let your life insurance run out in 2005. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211108 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211108_mounted_3c8ca4cd-7769-4d81-82c7-3c5a88f13d5f.jpg?v=1571611059 Would you like to donate something to the charity of your choice? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211109 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211109_mounted_05b10a10-bfb4-45e0-be6b-a0f1158621fc.jpg?v=1571611059 Get down before you hurt yourself. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211110 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211110_mounted_0bd2d837-dffe-40ce-a19a-aebc19b8996a.jpg?v=1571611060 Why don’t you write more clearly? You left a $400 tip. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211111 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211111_mounted_06913810-291f-4147-bc58-c3989cb333eb.jpg?v=1571611060 If she agrees to cook, I think you could spring for a 50-inch TV in the kitchen. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211112 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211112_mounted_f6832cc8-e6b2-46b4-9cdc-f02fa2b8826e.jpg?v=1571611060 Your last five dates all went back to their ex-husbands. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211113 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211113_mounted_51595d72-1aca-4e9f-a97e-9e37e3a95812.jpg?v=1571611060 I forgot their crummy password again. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211115 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211115_mounted_e5dfc219-6576-409a-8923-4599be7df006.jpg?v=1571611060 I doubt if you’d know it. It’s a very small country. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211116 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211116_mounted_6f10485c-dd80-4163-8925-3f10e9b57a0d.jpg?v=1571611060 Oh, no! Not him again. Tell him I’m off sick. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211117 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211117_mounted_8af0d72b-1a13-43b2-87f3-9fc03d755406.jpg?v=1571611060 Maurice, he got this home and it was too tight across his shoulders. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211118 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211118_mounted_c37eddbb-f473-4502-ac27-7a204a6c4666.jpg?v=1571611060 Table for 650. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211119 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211119_mounted_14f031d2-fe4a-4471-b38c-75443dc83de0.jpg?v=1571611060 The job’s been filled. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211120 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211120_mounted_9d944222-da0f-4260-9532-ccb09c23f82c.jpg?v=1571611060 Where did these bathroom scales come from? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211122 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211122_mounted_ef5bd209-1aa3-415b-8075-f770ff91cf04.jpg?v=1571611060 Is that Robin Hood Pizza? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211123 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211123_mounted_8f31e4b8-ceac-4725-a94f-aa8554fcca2d.jpg?v=1571611060 Twelve years I’ve been paying into that medical plan. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211124 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211124_mounted_7aaa57e9-4b98-4ec0-8e26-1bbb3f8ba036.jpg?v=1571611060 I know diamonds are forever. What can I buy for a couple of months? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211125 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211125_mounted_d59741b3-3586-483b-8bcf-48d6711dcb26.jpg?v=1571611060 He’s been taking trumpet lessons for two years. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211126 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211126_mounted_060aa8b2-758d-4902-a45b-8aac7b552693.jpg?v=1571611060 The car’s not quite as wide as it used to be. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211127 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211127_mounted_fa877384-7707-4e0e-9490-ec9ffb3d5ddc.jpg?v=1571611060 You mustn’t play with Grandpa’s chair. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211129 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211129_mounted_8393ffbc-5085-4c38-94a1-1b9fbf60f724.jpg?v=1571611060 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211130 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211130_mounted_41ed0579-ab41-40ac-b3a0-8f7570bc0d04.jpg?v=1571611060 Got any 25-amp fuses? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211201 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211201_mounted_77a45f9b-e37d-415d-85bb-854a5f1dd67f.jpg?v=1571611060 I have to wear this special shoe until the swelling goes down. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211202 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211202_mounted_d7540afa-09be-4eb0-8798-02c4edf368d2.jpg?v=1571611060 Harold, I’m phoning you from the car. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211203 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211203_mounted_17cff7b7-485a-4d2d-9af4-07365898f4db.jpg?v=1571611060 I hope there are plenty of seats. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211204 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211204_mounted_78c7f5b2-f81d-4eab-8ad2-3d68ab3cf643.jpg?v=1571611060 Just how do you expect me to cook with these cheap saucepans? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211206 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211206_mounted_cd8dc577-b835-4f10-a1bd-86efb1079df7.jpg?v=1571611060 Have you ever heard of the book ‘How to Be Six Inches Taller’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211207 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211207_mounted_26390e17-cfb7-4bec-a4d4-4a123a4ad473.jpg?v=1571611060 Do you mind slowing down? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211208 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211208_mounted_9d1d71e3-44ff-4fb9-bbc5-57331b24722f.jpg?v=1571611060 I just cut hair. I don’t book appointments. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211209 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211209_mounted_462edb23-20d1-44dd-9da8-84599521c392.jpg?v=1571611060 You know you’re on a diet. Why do you torture yourself? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211210 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211210_mounted_df892ea5-002d-4fa9-8c04-5e0abdf0a376.jpg?v=1571611060 We ran out of poached salmon, so I gave you double potatoes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211211 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211211_mounted_de3a874b-d42d-4dda-8ddc-55f2f399f544.jpg?v=1571611060 Our first vice president. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211213 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211213_mounted_054a1711-4056-4b2f-9fc7-2503a0683c42.jpg?v=1571611060 OK! Now stay exactly like that and I’ll move the chart over to the other wall. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211214 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211214_mounted_93189e6b-c06d-4065-ae2c-370e2d3a38de.jpg?v=1571611061 Don’t start looking for your glasses at 80 mph. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211215 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211215_mounted_ee611e8c-2d11-42d7-95f7-8c5457224823.jpg?v=1571611061 Being discharged today! I just spent $8 on these flowers. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211216 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211216_mounted_5fc44546-bcd4-4471-91f2-6354ea1cd78e.jpg?v=1571611061 My guess is that it’s doubled back on us. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211217 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211217_mounted_791583d6-cbfb-4675-a802-b78490ba3e24.jpg?v=1571611061 I can’t sit in that waiting room all day, doctor. I’m in a hurry. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211218 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211218_mounted_39fc9de7-1ef1-4724-9300-c2dc35ccd82e.jpg?v=1571611061 There we are. What’s 350 pounds divided by two? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211220 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211220_mounted_459cfd82-d27b-4a4c-ac56-4936da5c8435.jpg?v=1571611061 I put the kids to bed. I don’t want them watching stuff like this. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211221 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211221_mounted_7dac0a04-8738-4220-bc54-706b6e1b8da4.jpg?v=1571611061 Is this No. 11? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211222 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211222_mounted_13856fa0-ab25-4b7a-9f63-74889547f686.jpg?v=1571611061 Anyone would think you’re the only person in the world who was ever stung on the nose by a bee. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211223 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211223_mounted_63995419-52fd-46bc-b389-a3de43af7d60.jpg?v=1571611061 ‘Soup of the day’ is the same as the ‘soup of yesterday’ with spaghetti in it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211224 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211224_mounted_da6c2fdd-9234-46ce-8aa2-46596284487b.jpg?v=1571611061 I lie awake nights wondering how you get a 10-speed bicycle down a chimney. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211225 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211225_mounted_b4975ee6-5730-4d75-b21c-8d907e9ad584.jpg?v=1571611061 What happened to the picture? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211227 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211227_mounted_3cdf33b4-8a33-4399-8784-3f494c36b053.jpg?v=1571611061 Coffee for me and he’ll have a steak sandwich… Separate checks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211228 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211228_mounted_8dd6a6b1-dbab-43bc-af45-2a949a12bbda.jpg?v=1571611061 Why did I have to be playing cards with the boys? For $500 a day, couldn’t you be more ceative? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211229 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211229_mounted_e2b21a00-ba7c-4c3f-8483-ba4055d8602d.jpg?v=1571611061 What are my chances of time off for good behavior? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211230 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211230_mounted_54014fb5-5b86-45fe-96b0-8f4558cbb4b5.jpg?v=1571611061 OK, don’t go crazy every time someone rings the front doorbell. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm211231 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm211231_mounted_951c718c-acff-4527-bc4a-a53143d806bc.jpg?v=1571611061 Say when. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220101 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220101_mounted_d7c6939f-b15f-4e83-9811-0dd47adbaa9c.jpg?v=1571611061 Apart from a little dampness, Herman, how’s everything else? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220103 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220103_mounted_4993df7f-d0f4-4195-9ab6-7bf484a2a183.jpg?v=1571611061 All she said was, would I look after her cat for the weekend. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220104 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220104_mounted_0d6c5e53-cbb2-43ab-9cbf-40a2d9fdde2a.jpg?v=1571611061 Have you got a window-seat? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220105 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220105_mounted_c71a7e40-913f-400c-9b87-4f82ded006c6.jpg?v=1571611061 There’s the last-minute replacement jockey for your hot-tip. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220106 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220106_mounted_c403942f-d8d8-4c37-b198-e5c6baf55559.jpg?v=1571611061 You got a dog? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220107 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220107_mounted_630b2049-2fba-4530-a207-1a650f3d5798.jpg?v=1571611061 D’you think they’ll settle out of court for a thousand if I sue for maybe 5 million? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220108 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220108_mounted_b52e6c60-a7d3-4e76-aa9c-f4bc77fd1e8a.jpg?v=1571611061 Would sir mind sharing a table? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220110 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220110_mounted_ba56cfa1-7157-46e2-bbc5-0271190bda33.jpg?v=1571611062 So much for camping! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220111 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220111_mounted_aa48b307-2d96-4f63-93c5-e2ef26c9b927.jpg?v=1571611062 You’re better off working here than lying around the house feeling sorry for yourself. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220112 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220112_mounted_ce4f794a-103a-4c0a-a2cc-617a35be3f93.jpg?v=1571611062 D’you believe this?! It said, ‘Umbrellas 50% Off.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220113 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220113_mounted_f1f1b148-e0b8-410a-aa7e-7b37734e81ef.jpg?v=1571611062 Can’t you sit down! This is supposed to be a picnic. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220114 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220114_mounted_a390118b-b883-4673-88ed-b9e2ebcc0e36.jpg?v=1571611062 Please have your tickets ready. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220115 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220115_mounted_95369482-000d-46e9-80f7-bb86dde62eb2.jpg?v=1571611062 You’re not Brad Pitt! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220117 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220117_mounted_8d75f8c3-e553-4776-9a1a-35ea4df69a2c.jpg?v=1571611062 If gas were $10 a gallon, do you realize how many camels we could sell? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220118 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220118_mounted_a962fb62-23bc-406f-87db-d982807d3ef3.jpg?v=1571611062 Small, medium or large? Or need I ask? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220119 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220119_mounted_ec5483d8-6d3e-4f49-8f96-bfcd76f5aefc.jpg?v=1571611062 Never missed a beat! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220120 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220120_mounted_9ce7d18a-e9d6-4e8d-bb52-c49e7cb500e1.jpg?v=1571611062 Your boss says he’s sorry but he can’t come. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220121 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220121_mounted_348c07e9-a477-4129-96e5-3d804bee4a87.jpg?v=1571611062 Oh, he hasn’t escaped… he just gets these sudden cravings for a cheeseburger. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220122 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220122_mounted_243f42d3-5bac-4c8a-8ddd-ef6ae663449c.jpg?v=1571611062 That was HIS point. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220124 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220124_mounted_32039114-7c2e-4bbf-ac78-7916d5291bd5.jpg?v=1571611062 If you’re gonna do yoga every night, I want my own TV. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220125 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220125_mounted_34bbad7c-de86-41f3-a0e4-d899631847af.jpg?v=1571611062 You’d never get to the moon. You’d need two hundred of those things. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220126 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220126_mounted_b0b3fa8f-9b9d-492e-83e7-7f3ec8c5b3c8.jpg?v=1571611062 That’s it, perfect… keep it there and call the cable company. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220127 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220127_mounted_890acd35-e05f-40fa-a57c-d1c7479144eb.jpg?v=1571611062 If you let it go maybe it’ll stop screaming. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220128 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220128_mounted_f572e7ce-cfd2-4f01-8330-59795777392e.jpg?v=1571611062 Your mother said you loved eggs for breakfast! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220129 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220129_mounted_993d1348-cbf0-4842-8cbe-ad5a3187a0fc.jpg?v=1571611062 If I lose… the bet’s off, okay! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220131 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220131_mounted_e49bdd97-75ba-49ea-9110-3fba245aa8af.jpg?v=1571611062 If this marriage is going to work, you’re going to have to learn to control your temper. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220201 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220201_mounted_19e6e93c-1b68-41c6-bd52-6c515b08a76f.jpg?v=1571611062 All I said was, ‘I only like half the songs on it’. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220202 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220202_mounted_7fe60493-0a33-4a1d-9856-193c1bee038b.jpg?v=1571611062 Clean up in isle three! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220203 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220203_mounted_088b9cd4-e26a-4c69-af79-f75ce8abc419.jpg?v=1571611062 I knew you wouldn’t stick to that diet! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220204 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220204_mounted_471bffad-4cd7-4bc9-b338-75fc9af518c3.jpg?v=1571611062 If you want to leave, Maxine, I won’t stand in your way. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220205 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220205_mounted_1a56d9b8-4ddd-41cf-b936-e608d8dc0b14.jpg?v=1571611062 … and it does 1,200 miles on a tankful of gas. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220207 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220207_mounted_bc76572c-7849-4abf-a31f-0f1bf782d307.jpg?v=1571611062 What did you do before you were a self-employed mugger? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220208 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220208_mounted_a6502d29-377f-41ef-a8d2-d46da8b6f1a4.jpg?v=1571611062 You’re missing a great movie! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220209 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220209_mounted_3914f3a1-e672-4f9c-9d23-e074c0a39ce7.jpg?v=1571611062 I know I’m scraping the barrel, but d’ya wanna dance? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220210 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220210_mounted_76c97c43-7c1a-4f6f-bfcb-1d0617040731.jpg?v=1571611062 Why don’t you start going to bed earlier? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220211 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220211_mounted_0bb2fbf2-0065-4cb8-a250-59ff29bb8083.jpg?v=1571611062 I’ll have a glass of raspberry soda, and leave the bottle here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220212 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220212_mounted_7f899f22-c576-48b1-96ca-c5737d883f8f.jpg?v=1571611062 Okay, you can go now… they’ve evacuated the village. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220214 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220214_mounted_81c403c6-da14-4034-a6d2-a1e4ebf1d6d2.jpg?v=1571611063 Why don’t you wait until you’re both working? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220215 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220215_mounted_63084764-5c7d-4758-b138-a8d2893c2404.jpg?v=1571611063 So what happened when you called him an idiot? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220216 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220216_mounted_fc9f6a55-5ea8-49ee-8baa-bbaa9668a680.jpg?v=1571611063 I dunno why you love nature after what it did to you. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220217 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220217_mounted_839ebcc6-84a0-40bd-ace2-40e9eb15c5e2.jpg?v=1571611063 So I’m half an hour late! So what? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220218 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220218_mounted_477e157b-ac68-4e58-95ad-fb8b25e74c58.jpg?v=1571611063 D’you think you’ll be writing a book about it after you get out? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220219 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220219_mounted_c36f4614-14af-4151-908f-621f1986339e.jpg?v=1571611063 I can’t imagine why we got matched up, unless it’s because I said I was interested in antiques. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220221 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220221_mounted_8a67d6c5-841f-417e-94e8-29c0ce73005d.jpg?v=1571611063 She wants to buy some fresh fruit and vegetables! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220222 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220222_mounted_907cc5ec-14e7-4f4b-a649-e8a4e03776f2.jpg?v=1571611063 What’s the point of me losing two pounds in two months if you don’t even notice? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220223 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220223_mounted_2150f942-1b1c-4435-8b77-68a762b1ae3b.jpg?v=1571611063 Who’s winning, guys? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220224 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220224_mounted_71a43030-3828-4ba0-9eeb-51e9e4092b3b.jpg?v=1571611063 Hang on to your tickets! You may have trouble bringing that kid out. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220225 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220225_mounted_45cd8c15-93f8-447a-8b62-7f44b8600b82.jpg?v=1571611063 … and don’t call me illiterate. My Ma and Pa have been married for thirty-eight years. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220226 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220226_mounted_a1645f85-4009-44b8-865b-2c73adb6eca5.jpg?v=1571611063 Get out! I haven’t forgotten I fired you this morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220228 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220228_mounted_0d2f39d2-6c96-453e-b589-a25b36bb10c5.jpg?v=1571611063 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220301 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220301_mounted_de20a740-35b0-4480-85dd-f3212e5ffa14.jpg?v=1571611063 You’re not getting an encyclopedia! You can walk to school like I had to. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220302 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220302_mounted_799f5918-6604-4c9c-b6fc-fd1ae243f1dc.jpg?v=1571611063 This is the latest exerciser. It’s an inflatable mother-in-law and a baseball bat! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220303 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220303_mounted_f339d861-99b5-4ccf-a547-7e3cf341c70a.jpg?v=1571611063 He wants a blue dress for his wife, size ‘fat.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220304 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220304_mounted_db1048c0-84e8-42e6-8ca0-4cbdcc0e4e52.jpg?v=1571611063 You can start tomorrow, but as soon as my wife sees you you’re finished! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220305 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220305_mounted_44a7eaee-07d5-464a-8f1e-d66af9dbd024.jpg?v=1571611063 I do have your size, madame, but it comes with a table and four chairs. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220307 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220307_mounted_1667b49b-a48c-4dc0-8d0a-8503f824d3af.jpg?v=1571611063 It doesn’t matter what sort of dog you’ve got; it’s guaranteed to keep away burglars. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220308 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220308_mounted_c3fc7d04-ac24-410f-93a7-f4215fe2351f.jpg?v=1571611063 That’s a relief. I thought I’d gone deaf! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220309 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220309_mounted_a31a15fa-175e-4a7f-bc4f-7cbee4b1142c.jpg?v=1571611063 If you haven’t flown since 1926, I think I can safely say you’ll find a few minor improvements. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220310 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220310_mounted_885deabe-d0db-4f8f-a7a3-c4a6805eef1e.jpg?v=1571611063 Weren’t you supossed to screw them on the outside? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220311 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220311_mounted_85843b46-217d-473f-b376-ff45257cc20e.jpg?v=1571611063 I thought maybe they could identify the person who stole my TV. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220312 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220312_mounted_b6873f6d-15aa-4d86-a01d-c1279f7526d7.jpg?v=1571611063 Why don’t you save the money and put it toward plastic surgery? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220314 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220314_mounted_a3e99d63-c91c-4a9c-9657-adfc6a2ef065.jpg?v=1571611063 It says right here on the can, ‘Do not use to clean overnight.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220315 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220315_mounted_b65d29e1-b756-429d-b337-d6cd131b3ef8.jpg?v=1571611063 If I’m not back in 20 minutes, get a divorce. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220316 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220316_mounted_1bf08518-8771-4ea8-9c78-af8b761051cf.jpg?v=1571611063 Can’t you make yourself a cheese sandwich when I’m out all day? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220317 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220317_mounted_f6545b90-3c63-4b5e-9f64-b2d19a72ae0b.jpg?v=1571611063 The elephant fainted and we can’t find the keeper. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220318 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220318_mounted_a9639640-dd38-4310-b309-78d15c48fa24.jpg?v=1571611063 You left this refrigerator open again. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220319 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220319_mounted_a1cea082-ca23-466b-a9bc-d8a8c813dc28.jpg?v=1571611063 Oh, no! Somebody’s broken the bedroom window. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220321 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220321_mounted_5a5925ef-4930-4090-b141-a6ca38780e78.jpg?v=1571611063 Six months at Art College and you say ‘What’s it s’posed to be’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220322 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220322_mounted_6644185f-22ff-40a3-85be-728fa841b162.jpg?v=1571611064 Unless I’m mistaken, you had a pretty hefty pay hike in 1967. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220323 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220323_mounted_b766e8f8-562e-4336-87bc-7a9a91f99777.jpg?v=1571611064 My wife’s on her way up, Gladys; so you’re my new secretary and Francine’s going for an early lunch. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220324 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220324_mounted_fdefbb10-6490-4dc4-94e5-49ef74c53c9f.jpg?v=1571611064 I want my apple back. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220325 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220325_mounted_58f770d1-7688-401b-9b26-8e269cc6341e.jpg?v=1571611064 Is that the bill for my credit card? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220326 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220326_mounted_a82c021a-1717-4e6e-b681-baed64ef0a05.jpg?v=1571611064 I left the circus 17 years ago and I think I still miss it! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220328 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220328_mounted_1f4f127a-a8b9-4a75-a802-e34e97ffc0c5.jpg?v=1571611064 You can believe what you like… I tell you I saw one. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220329 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220329_mounted_8c66191e-77a0-4a94-8888-44b998decf6c.jpg?v=1571611064 There’s a girl who’s been left $100 million! Why don’t you give her a call? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220330 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220330_mounted_fd695598-dec3-44ec-b5b6-e3687dda2aa4.jpg?v=1571611064 You’ve heard of ‘The Battle of the Bulge.’ Well, you lost. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220331 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220331_mounted_5fbe6d58-6ee3-4345-8de9-5cecdf07fef4.jpg?v=1571611064 Why don’t you listen? I said, ‘Send over a can of glue.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220401 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220401_mounted_c60a80dd-8b52-4742-94d6-7615042b39f2.jpg?v=1571611064 I’m saving for a new dress. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220402 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220402_mounted_df275392-aac4-4496-99ef-0ea91fb2c5ea.jpg?v=1571611064 Don’t decide now Herman… wear it for a couple of weeks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220404 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220404_mounted_836d3010-f159-4081-b13e-84c46e0b1e42.jpg?v=1571611064 Here’s a nice shady spot over here! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220405 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220405_mounted_ff450859-262a-4b11-9476-8402b6afefd9.jpg?v=1571611064 Second serve. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220406 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220406_mounted_d0bff9fc-cbd9-4d49-88dc-4607f5ce5c93.jpg?v=1571611064 You got this ‘fridge up too high again. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220407 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220407_mounted_cc1894fd-e9e7-49e7-ab11-46303187bd20.jpg?v=1571611064 Fourteen years old and still playful. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220408 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220408_mounted_2ae0fcfd-6fe0-4d31-b30d-1cf373e25347.jpg?v=1571611064 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220409 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220409_mounted_12190c7f-1dd6-478a-8574-e85e73dd75d0.jpg?v=1571611064 Buy me a cup of coffee? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220411 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220411_mounted_edb5d0a4-2eb0-43ce-adfb-808d005a11d7.jpg?v=1571611064 This broadloom isn’t shrinking… the guy in the next apartment is pulling it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220412 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220412_mounted_ce5927d2-e027-4d11-934e-3fabae434781.jpg?v=1571611064 Watch out for his screw-ball. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220413 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220413_mounted_a3c035a8-0c82-4862-8c24-0f9165237902.jpg?v=1571611064 Same to you! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220414 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220414_mounted_86410292-0b9e-4421-97f5-d687db4dccdb.jpg?v=1571611064 Mommy’s not feeling too well, so I’m putting you in charge of cooking and cleaning. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220415 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220415_mounted_422155e7-a6d4-4c50-b512-9fffd9a82ded.jpg?v=1571611064 It’s an free range zoo. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220416 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220416_mounted_9fb9e53c-d0d2-4a09-90cc-c841a713ef13.jpg?v=1571611064 Are there any more ‘income tax jokes’ before we move on? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220418 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220418_mounted_fa33820d-4933-46bc-a2f8-77bbc801e5c6.jpg?v=1571611064 Not very sportsmen-like. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220419 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220419_mounted_0c238c59-8e00-48e3-9cef-9aa25b468302.jpg?v=1571611065 We’ve been married 38 years and he says to me, ‘How do you take your coffee’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220420 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220420_mounted_037e8150-69bd-425f-a1ee-3bebd0d8c6b0.jpg?v=1571611065 How’s your back? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220421 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220421_mounted_b101f2d7-0041-4963-a54f-46048d7e6cd4.jpg?v=1571611065 I wanted to see you, to tell you that your account is eleven dollars over-drawn and it’s fine with me. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220422 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220422_mounted_91f3855f-00b9-459a-b252-78e00b5b8c60.jpg?v=1571611065 I gotta figure out a way to prevent it from falling over on it’s side when it stops rolling. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220423 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220423_mounted_5fc63c4f-5a49-4017-b903-6f63246400a2.jpg?v=1571611065 It’s 3 o’clock in the morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220425 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220425_mounted_899b6197-5ee9-4897-9b06-c48f9c262232.jpg?v=1571611065 Okay, you wanna play rough… gimme the beads back! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220426 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220426_mounted_43ad8a40-7f4e-4e7b-86af-440f66599df9.jpg?v=1571611065 Here’s a cup. Give me a dollar’s worth. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220427 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220427_mounted_bcd524e1-e01c-42cb-94cd-c2b776012d87.jpg?v=1571611065 How can a 2-ounce chocolate bar add on 4 pounds? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220428 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220428_mounted_178d1d1e-75dc-4044-87eb-c838fb291e7d.jpg?v=1571611065 Your previous employer says you have trouble adjusting. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220429 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220429_mounted_1c1307a4-4db4-4134-bef0-0f9c1ded24dd.jpg?v=1571611065 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220430 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220430_mounted_d7e15819-fe53-4336-98d1-51d048f21494.jpg?v=1571611065 Do you believe the nerve of that guy whistling at us like that? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220502 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220502_mounted_629c9769-5354-47fd-8ef3-5c86de719bae.jpg?v=1571611065 He said you put a grape in his ear. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220503 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220503_mounted_2963173c-86e9-43ba-aac9-05b596092eec.jpg?v=1571611065 WHERE are you? I thought you were gonna put a new lock on this door? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220504 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220504_mounted_dcddb970-139b-4b3a-9588-5e7ecd3971ff.jpg?v=1571611065 Another one of nature’s mistakes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220505 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220505_mounted_c26538cb-08fd-4313-8453-3f23e761a09c.jpg?v=1571611065 I’m giving him 15 more minutes to remember it’s my birthday. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220506 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220506_mounted_edf0a810-0765-40da-8801-9d21824ad215.jpg?v=1571611065 We used to do quite a lot of ballroom dancing until my arms started getting shorter. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220507 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220507_mounted_35da6196-80c5-4b79-9720-26edcf99887d.jpg?v=1571611065 Yeah, well as far as I’m concerned, bug killer is bug killer and you guys owe me a new screen door. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220509 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220509_mounted_13d59430-1353-44ae-b099-6ec54fcdc3c9.jpg?v=1571611065 Don’t look at me… you gave him the carpentry set. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220510 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220510_mounted_1e41ed42-de10-4f94-b399-e81501068c52.jpg?v=1571611065 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220511 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220511_mounted_9aa6af51-7afd-4e8e-9b64-7aff2e1f5929.jpg?v=1571611065 You can’t get a decent haircut on Saturn. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220512 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220512_mounted_5ee984e0-9b62-4362-84e9-b3c3629883bc.jpg?v=1571611065 So that’s the new MX? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220513 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220513_mounted_23791d29-9a40-47e0-9cee-203a30fd00e2.jpg?v=1571611065 You’re Francis from sexydates.com? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220514 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220514_mounted_60820da5-890a-4df6-b8a9-46e406d56e61.jpg?v=1571611065 Oh, no! I didn’t read the box. It’s supposed to make 24. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220516 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220516_mounted_58686946-eadf-45c7-bf7e-bb1f0b705f68.jpg?v=1571611065 I told him we needed new furniture so he bought me a pool table. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220517 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220517_mounted_d7155d94-c195-49c7-a8a0-533490135703.jpg?v=1571611065 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220518 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220518_mounted_713354a3-6144-491c-8bd9-e61f51f5bb42.jpg?v=1571611065 That pair comes with a set of training wheels. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220519 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220519_mounted_411c79fd-bece-4a20-bac6-e34f756cfe6e.jpg?v=1571611065 I won't be able to eat all of this. Do you want the cherry? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220520 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220520_mounted_198e850b-9bdb-415f-b99d-ff2f49e347b6.jpg?v=1571611066 There’re only two of these left in the entire world. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220521 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220521_mounted_cb2fd8f4-eaa4-4361-b248-262ab20441db.jpg?v=1571611066 Had enough music? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220523 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220523_mounted_7e7d17f9-f865-4ed2-88c3-16fc06461e5f.jpg?v=1571611066 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220524 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220524_mounted_62b05779-3a8e-45da-b35a-7fe16ff3c7af.jpg?v=1571611066 The good news is that you’re NOT being laid off, the bad news is… you’re being fired! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220525 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220525_mounted_c6ddbfe7-fce3-47ce-8cbb-7fff2c00d5eb.jpg?v=1571611066 Joyce, how much do I charge people when I don’t know what’s wrong with them? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220526 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220526_mounted_4eb978a7-76ed-45cd-a221-26ab0869de4f.jpg?v=1571611066 Remember me? I sold you the set of encyclopedias. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220527 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220527_mounted_14217ca7-e356-40ee-8034-2078c55150d4.jpg?v=1571611066 Someone gave him a banana with a file in it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220528 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220528_mounted_b7023fb0-4500-427d-b3e8-963e0b707fc8.jpg?v=1571611066 That’s two weeks’ salary, Crabshaw. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220530 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220530_mounted_57903a8f-33db-4b38-80b4-ea2351e03b66.jpg?v=1571611066 Pay attention everyone… this afternoon I’ll be advising you all of my choice for the new Manager. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220531 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220531_mounted_b2102cbd-3d01-45f5-80dd-2efff31acc31.jpg?v=1571611066 Just put her inside the door. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220601 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220601_mounted_b28ce9c0-dd07-442d-90f4-ef4c8d66ccf8.jpg?v=1571611066 I’ll trade the ice cream for two chunks of apple. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220602 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220602_mounted_d2884b09-93b1-4517-b650-b785427dc25b.jpg?v=1571611066 She didn’t want you to kiss her. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220603 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220603_mounted_7cb9f1af-2457-437c-b860-04db98ec119f.jpg?v=1571611066 I’m getting indigestion just looking at this. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220604 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220604_mounted_73d8c6c3-93bd-44a8-b12f-3dd9b821f049.jpg?v=1571611066 You weighed 100 pounds on our wedding day, so I’m not even married to three-quarters of you! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220606 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220606_mounted_cff77b86-3afd-4785-8eab-185610cf039d.jpg?v=1571611066 We usually use a four-iron from up there. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220607 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220607_mounted_cb79fe42-d202-4da6-bc98-70956f984071.jpg?v=1571611066 Let’s face it, madame. Every swimsuit in this store is going to be a bikini for you. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220608 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220608_mounted_b569d9ca-d078-4a9e-acd6-ad2449a93be2.jpg?v=1571611066 I think he’s gonna smash the TV if we don’t let him out. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220609 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220609_mounted_86be755a-a722-4cec-9a48-ba4f0736a397.jpg?v=1571611066 How did you get on at the weight-loss clinic? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220610 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220610_mounted_4ef7bf84-b272-4b4d-b71f-10b1ab32440b.jpg?v=1571611066 I’m having trouble sleeping. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220611 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220611_mounted_b75120cf-9e25-4422-965b-f575929002ec.jpg?v=1571611066 As soon as it rains and the river rises… get yourself something to eat. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220613 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220613_mounted_08e5c889-a8ad-4397-b8f7-1d7aac8b5278.jpg?v=1571611066 This’ll be the first time Herman shot under 70. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220614 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220614_mounted_b3d8b444-211f-4a7b-95d3-d78dfb07f291.jpg?v=1571611066 I thought so. There’s another peanut in here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220615 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220615_mounted_8a05604a-6f67-4528-b862-e310d04a66b9.jpg?v=1571611066 So I said, ‘Bake me a cake with a hacksaw in it.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220616 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220616_mounted_2ade215f-ce1a-495d-9609-dddcc6cb98d5.jpg?v=1571611066 Don’t believe a word he says, Mother. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220617 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220617_mounted_0e22702e-e58e-472b-befc-6273b006615f.jpg?v=1571611066 I never knew his name. He was a volunteer from the audience. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220618 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220618_mounted_0e8fbf56-2e9f-429b-acde-047d727f052b.jpg?v=1571611066 He’s got a wicked slice! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220620 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220620_mounted_ae77a1e0-e834-4f8c-9139-f84746243f80.jpg?v=1571611067 This is our deluxe comfort model. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220621 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220621_mounted_26557226-acc4-4bbd-9231-e2b86bbbc216.jpg?v=1571611067 It’s agreed then: We change the sign on the tiger’s cage from ‘maneater’ to ‘personeater’. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220622 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220622_mounted_b61a6e2f-67d7-4d4d-b065-0d794734924e.jpg?v=1571611067 Give me your name and address. If I don’t end up in the hospital, I’ll send you a tip. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220623 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220623_mounted_7f4952ee-fd4f-4955-aa38-00152c167b8a.jpg?v=1571611067 We’ve only been married six months and already she wants a new dress. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220624 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220624_mounted_d39a09b1-3e94-493a-85cc-ccb534e57c22.jpg?v=1571611067 He said, ‘Glass is a boy’s best friend.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220625 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220625_mounted_71f75bf8-0f14-44eb-b1c8-d5a1ddb9bb72.jpg?v=1571611067 Dad, where can we go to burn some crops? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220627 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220627_mounted_34833688-d69c-4ed5-8dd4-c5f8fa122a29.jpg?v=1571611067 … and Frank next-door says to remind you you owe him a new ladder! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220628 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220628_mounted_83c3cee6-e77f-48f8-9275-4640b20ec254.jpg?v=1571611067 D’yer think it’s too tight? My legs are going dead. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220629 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220629_mounted_a91faf9c-2af2-47f2-8df3-e36208d81842.jpg?v=1571611067 So how are you feeling? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220630 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220630_mounted_89d4db8c-454e-4831-82d4-63dd6a68cec0.jpg?v=1571611067 My father dissappeared when I was six years old and was never seen again. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220701 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220701_mounted_a350ffc5-9f76-4024-a22e-5ace6c5a0b11.jpg?v=1571611067 When I said I wanted a large milk, I meant I wanted a drink, not take a bath. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220702 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220702_mounted_6878e39d-5c28-40cc-b4e2-d5295feb0edb.jpg?v=1571611067 I’d be crying too if I’d just been named Lady Ga Ga! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220704 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220704_mounted_7bf5747b-b004-47e9-8fff-41926b048ae6.jpg?v=1571611067 You’ll have to practice somewhere else… I want a shower. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220705 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220705_mounted_5d8fdd95-2581-4040-a53e-4e0cef9173e5.jpg?v=1571611067 Two sets to love is not the end of the world, you know! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220706 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220706_mounted_4d4e8039-9848-4ecc-85ac-0504b0513a0b.jpg?v=1571611067 I can’t believe you finally fixed the… umbrella. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220707 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220707_mounted_5a89a89f-6abd-4cf6-9bd0-7294c417270c.jpg?v=1571611067 Any twit can win a hole with 22 lucky shots. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220708 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220708_mounted_0d78a815-4a1d-4c4c-bc55-1e3eea5f53d0.jpg?v=1571611067 We’re both a lot better since the doctor gave me something for my nerves. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220709 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220709_mounted_ac80ac0d-bf19-4887-be50-23e5e8df3169.jpg?v=1571611067 It was supposed to be macaroni pudding. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220711 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220711_mounted_51048b41-130a-4fb4-8e9c-d590e733fe2e.jpg?v=1571611067 Here… make a wish. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220712 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220712_mounted_5b53826d-3525-44be-8826-f14872ff14df.jpg?v=1571611067 Okay, Rachel, but what are you gonna tell my wife? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220713 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220713_mounted_a0b60917-93ea-4164-b95b-82c5bbaa8ab4.jpg?v=1571611067 I’m not sending you to prison for attempted robbery. I’m going to give you a second chance. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220714 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220714_mounted_77cff65c-c5cf-4a06-b918-9f722430841a.jpg?v=1571611067 If you’re gonna miss your mother so much when you get married, take her with you. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220715 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220715_mounted_cce24f6b-e6c2-454e-bcf5-0a135e9bcd8b.jpg?v=1571611067 Take a tip. Get yourself a couple of nice big caves and rent them out. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220716 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220716_mounted_d3b1a497-7a86-488b-b589-6512383e593f.jpg?v=1571611067 Yes, I think I’ll put you on a vegetable diet for a couple of months. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220718 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220718_mounted_81252da5-ed29-4f13-af1d-bb494b71f095.jpg?v=1571611067 I’m sure if you asked them politely, they’d postpone moving in ’til we’ve finished eating. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220719 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220719_mounted_5e438319-f387-4cb4-ab71-763c58fb1453.jpg?v=1571611067 I couldn’t find a button so I sewed the hole up! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220720 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220720_mounted_84c6adc2-51f9-4a64-ad2e-a14c8021f45a.jpg?v=1571611067 If there was another man in my life, do you honestly think I’d be sitting here? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220721 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220721_mounted_afe67442-4fa5-4ddc-a84e-cd8201619197.jpg?v=1571611067 I know $47 is a lot of money but diamonds are forever! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220722 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220722_mounted_f04043bb-53ae-4a42-8ad6-2933fe7afece.jpg?v=1571611068 I can’t wait for you to go bald. I’m sick of watching you count your hair every morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220723 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220723_mounted_ace4d26c-4c68-406b-b42c-7b1fd1c5d2d9.jpg?v=1571611068 Is it okay if I marry Gladys? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220725 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220725_mounted_80534799-f4c8-4430-82bb-b8b4ca0964ca.jpg?v=1571611068 Can’t you cook yourself something when I’m out? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220726 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220726_mounted_e9e0a3b0-9c3a-4cc0-a527-8a38b7ef7ed9.jpg?v=1571611068 FORE. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220727 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220727_mounted_e08246de-b24a-40cb-85fe-1c1004b327b7.jpg?v=1571611068 Set the clock for 5:30! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220728 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220728_mounted_400cb8be-b778-4d63-b69a-7eb82ff96ed4.jpg?v=1571611068 Is this the 54-year-old limbo dancer? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220729 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220729_mounted_437564b8-b1c5-4dec-ab75-1dc427bce7c9.jpg?v=1571611068 I told you we should have had the driveway paved. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220730 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220730_mounted_d1eb11a8-bbea-4999-8167-09c88b0a4a5c.jpg?v=1571611068 Herman, I’ve never known a guy like you for hitting them in the water. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220801 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220801_mounted_322321f9-c855-498e-b6af-4721044e65fb.jpg?v=1571611068 In two days I’ll owe $3,000 on a library book I haven’t even read. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220802 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220802_mounted_85001899-db7b-4628-8c75-a85c4b8b88d0.jpg?v=1571611068 Look at this! Even the garbage pail’s got ulcers! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220803 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220803_mounted_81a6219b-8ef1-4fbc-a6c5-28b17512d7c2.jpg?v=1571611068 I thought you were going to mow the lawn. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220804 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220804_mounted_70dffc0a-42c7-4aca-9af6-3e600fec93e0.jpg?v=1571611068 Listen, I’d better go. My wife’s waiting to use the phone. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220805 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220805_mounted_98ee99b4-df88-4a6b-b207-1a2d4d062535.jpg?v=1571611068 The doctor says you’ll probably be in ‘The Guinness Book of World Records.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220806 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220806_mounted_851c9c0d-4102-43fd-ad23-4f8bed45805b.jpg?v=1571611068 Table for two. Food for five. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220809 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220809_mounted_974c1723-f8f7-4a14-a1d9-51b3e90f88ff.jpg?v=1571611068 Okay, you’ve got your ‘nose job’. Now get out there and meet girls. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220810 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220810_mounted_667a70bc-94df-4563-860b-849d3f79fa7b.jpg?v=1571611068 There’s just no pleasing you, is there? All week you’ve been telling me to get a haircut. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220811 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220811_mounted_3cb3fbbc-40a7-43af-9d8c-3ca43fa171fa.jpg?v=1571611068 I didn’t have the time to get you any flowers. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220812 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220812_mounted_26108978-c907-4297-83c0-1c3a76292771.jpg?v=1571611068 I’m not going to give you a tip. I don’t like to hurt people’s feelings. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220813 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220813_mounted_843d792b-cf2b-4ff0-9386-2f62725b1848.jpg?v=1571611068 Did you get your pay raise? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220815 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220815_mounted_9631a158-cce1-4994-911c-bbabebbba479.jpg?v=1571611068 Don’t let anyone take my special chair. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220816 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220816_mounted_7a4977a1-99de-45c7-abab-3f2fe9073282.jpg?v=1571611068 It’s your wife again! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220817 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220817_mounted_bebeb5ed-a6ec-42b9-aade-5123650ec396.jpg?v=1571611068 He painted this one while he was locked in his studio. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220818 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220818_mounted_07c46f6f-bd0d-41e1-b7fe-dd43e9e6983e.jpg?v=1571611068 Fill ’er up. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220819 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220819_mounted_dc20ae0c-97d9-4d22-ac42-1053c25672f5.jpg?v=1571611069 Why don’t you leave the ring and I’ll phone you with my answer. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220820 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220820_mounted_0e20a947-c3b2-41b8-bf35-e6771205a5f1.jpg?v=1571611069 Can you send an ambulance to 27 Sycamore Drive in about six minutes? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220822 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220822_mounted_1490ea27-5281-41f4-9ee6-636b43736a2d.jpg?v=1571611069 This should be good… he’s eaten the whole bowlful of tobacco and now he’s smoking a potato. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220823 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220823_mounted_a99a2aab-56a5-4c6f-b7e4-471074bda81e.jpg?v=1571611069 I hope you can remember what you look like. I just broke your shaving mirror. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220824 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220824_mounted_319dd23e-de7b-4b3a-ad03-a9615279c072.jpg?v=1571611069 Stick your tongue out. I want to clean my glasses. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220825 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220825_mounted_46abaf41-af6e-4044-995d-ba1ae6def1c3.jpg?v=1571611069 There’s someone out here waiting to use the phone. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220826 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220826_mounted_8dd5d8fd-b4fe-43f2-934d-5c71f4d7a758.jpg?v=1571611069 That’s the laundry chute. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220827 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220827_mounted_e115b45b-0d24-4584-b9d0-7df20ca5e48a.jpg?v=1571611069 Okay, show me where it says on that apartment lease about NOT keeping ducks? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220829 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220829_mounted_368e369a-bf57-437b-be60-887a172317d4.jpg?v=1571611069 You told them it’s a pool table, so they’re filling it with water… that makes sense! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220830 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220830_mounted_68de257f-2652-41f6-ad25-84eebae741d5.jpg?v=1571611069 Browning, for a guy who’s worked here for 12 years, you’re setting a lousy example. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220831 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220831_mounted_37e84b91-44ed-409e-bc2d-54be1dcbe7da.jpg?v=1571611069 I’LL KEEP MY VOICE DOWN WHEN YOU KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220901 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220901_mounted_11e7d9ec-f119-4211-bbfe-4afbf665f078.jpg?v=1571611069 We’ll come back later. She’s in one of her moods. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220902 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220902_mounted_f6170a82-557b-4ca3-9bf5-53f690649544.jpg?v=1571611069 I’ll need a long leash. We live on the ninth floor. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220903 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220903_mounted_ce63d50c-b0de-4894-8e68-a31aa618755d.jpg?v=1571611069 This your first company dinner party, is it? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220905 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220905_mounted_ee801ad0-159b-4f54-90c7-4d4bd41c1199.jpg?v=1571611069 Okay, which wise guy said ‘Missing Link’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220906 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220906_mounted_b61446c3-e41f-40e0-9c9d-385ab9c1ef0d.jpg?v=1571611069 I like a man who knows where he’s going. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220907 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220907_mounted_4600d6c1-1a23-46b6-9f12-93e3fb779407.jpg?v=1571611069 I was aiming at a hornet. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220908 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220908_mounted_acc0be07-6e77-4625-b0de-546a99fb52e5.jpg?v=1571611069 I’m second from the left, back row. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220909 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220909_mounted_0b499dd1-13f9-4f6c-a7e4-feb0d9597af0.jpg?v=1571611069 Do you think we’ll be on TV? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220910 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220910_mounted_d8e496ae-8a67-4205-b74f-635062c7b498.jpg?v=1571611069 I liked the way you kicked that tire. Very few of these young kids today understand the finer points of a quality vehicle. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220912 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220912_mounted_e6f4c804-7dbf-481d-8e51-2262abafacef.jpg?v=1571611069 Charles… can I drop you somewhere? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220913 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220913_mounted_4e2f128b-d1c9-47ea-a54f-62540022ca83.jpg?v=1571611069 They don’t give us time to learn anything in school; we have to listen to the teacher all day. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220914 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220914_mounted_a54e9167-c01e-4526-b936-0b23fb6ab62c.jpg?v=1571611069 Don’t forget: Four doors, dark blue, power windows. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220915 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220915_mounted_45b4c221-a13e-45a7-84e3-c1589aee3074.jpg?v=1571611069 … to have and to hold… https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220916 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220916_mounted_79b7fe03-4ab8-4270-8aa3-2f61e00a7af9.jpg?v=1571611069 Whaddyer want, size or economy? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220917 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220917_mounted_1123a649-1f28-4ff3-bdb3-3e3dbba45f73.jpg?v=1571611069 She’s come in ‘second’ three times in a row. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220919 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220919_mounted_f32d4bcc-3101-4526-9bd1-61dda3156385.jpg?v=1571611069 Herman… I’m gonna make a mistake now so you can have a go. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220920 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220920_mounted_942ebcb0-7972-4680-98ef-835184c8c275.jpg?v=1571611069 I can’t eat fast food. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220921 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220921_mounted_9383a7d4-e447-4bc3-8a84-f23eacb3e74d.jpg?v=1571611069 I only got halfway there and it ran out of gas! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220922 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220922_mounted_a1dc4de4-cf93-4943-826e-b8cae069fc43.jpg?v=1571611070 How do you stop the beans from sliding into the toaster? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220923 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220923_mounted_6dfbd11f-accd-406c-8e34-f30bf17ff42a.jpg?v=1571611070 Looks are not everything. She can’t cook either. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220926 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220926_mounted_3f65630b-3f97-433c-b8d9-36c7e95b6cea.jpg?v=1571611070 Nine and three-quarters… nine and seven-eighths… https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220927 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220927_mounted_cc353cbe-e104-48fb-a031-685feeec330c.jpg?v=1571611070 We rehearsed all this, Mr. Blunt. You’re supposed to kiss the bride. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220928 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220928_mounted_d50b1868-7646-416d-aa34-fa948957c724.jpg?v=1571611070 We’ve got a new chef. Use lots of ketchup. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220929 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220929_mounted_b038f1bb-54ab-47c4-8a27-13dcc2c7086b.jpg?v=1571611070 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220930 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220930_mounted_8834688b-69e1-4fca-94ff-3e1ba4b2459c.jpg?v=1571611070 Seen any good movies lately? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221001 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221001_mounted_e7a83fa2-eb0d-491e-8a91-e78ccc4353c3.jpg?v=1571611070 This one’s not signed. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221003 2026-07-21T08:01:05-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221003_mounted_59a834cb-787f-4382-abd1-9b6c8607b2e3.jpg?v=1571611070 Here, they don’t believe me. Say something in Martian.