https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221004 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221004_mounted_5bb1f66c-18b2-47f9-aef0-4c986ff963ca.jpg?v=1571611070 Didn’t you used to be taller? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221005 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221005_mounted_b189c3c5-8dbb-4c78-9af4-9fc249c62e53.jpg?v=1571611070 D’you wanna play blocks for money? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221006 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221006_mounted_0a5c3cb2-99c8-4dc6-af10-d4066882d527.jpg?v=1571611070 Your horoscope says, ‘Today is a good day to catch up on all those little jobs around the house.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221007 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221007_mounted_55a6514d-fa1c-49c0-b5ef-0669d44d0fb8.jpg?v=1571611070 Is it OK if I eat while you’re smoking? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221008 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221008_mounted_b2f02561-644f-4ac6-9381-87529bd72425.jpg?v=1571611070 Did you have a good day? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221010 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221010_mounted_65df054c-aaf3-4ae3-ab43-5e8d41b4d588.jpg?v=1571611070 It’ll take you a couple of days to get used to these express elevators. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221011 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221011_mounted_40a6c72a-b3cb-4de1-9781-c27fdf47bc99.jpg?v=1571611070 I don’t have a clue what it is, but it was the last one they had! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221012 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221012_mounted_b940c18f-5683-46ed-8070-3f287be2f354.jpg?v=1571611070 I can’t help myself. I’m gonna spend your gratuity on a dessert. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221013 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221013_mounted_8e405ee4-da34-4abb-8871-3b120aaa6697.jpg?v=1571611070 He’s equipped with a spare leg. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221014 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221014_mounted_c728537a-5e28-4436-92f4-e5ed6576b12c.jpg?v=1571611070 By the time we had saved enough money for a honeymoon, we didn’t want one. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221015 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221015_mounted_b451f04d-76a9-4b61-a861-8674c73cc7b9.jpg?v=1571611070 Sit at the front, he says. Sit at the front. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221017 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221017_mounted_7eb7627e-da29-4d3e-b5a7-2a1603c20918.jpg?v=1571611070 ONE. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221018 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221018_mounted_57e63a69-50be-4d8a-9e50-592545068fcb.jpg?v=1571611070 Two hundred and forty-seven submarine sandwiches to go. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221019 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221019_mounted_c733ccf7-58dd-49ad-9bd9-6e444feb3101.jpg?v=1571611070 Doctor, Mr. Mildew is here to see you about his wife’s insomnia. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221020 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221020_mounted_2cf45707-f67f-428d-a6cb-2afeffae3794.jpg?v=1571611070 This one looks OK. Can I try it out on your front door? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221021 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221021_mounted_61a56af8-012c-40eb-9488-c7374e14f143.jpg?v=1571611070 He’s trying to talk! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221022 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221022_mounted_bc68984a-90c6-4663-93b4-c62c75f3caee.jpg?v=1571611070 Is that the tie I bought him for Christmas? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221024 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221024_mounted_b5d866f2-dd40-40cf-8caf-db1f5ea9d0f5.jpg?v=1571611070 Seeing you once a month is gonna make the next two years a lot easier. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221025 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221025_mounted_4ebabf61-9222-4b67-a4e7-d6bc5545b9ef.jpg?v=1571611070 I thought you were going to save me a parking space. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221026 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221026_mounted_ce5f2d68-1e8a-4185-8136-2682369a7212.jpg?v=1571611070 Let’s see… Niagara Falls… Niagara Falls. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221027 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221027_mounted_33a228c6-22ed-4377-aa80-970cff1f268b.jpg?v=1571611071 I’ll need a glass of water in 14 seconds. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221028 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221028_mounted_a1b89be0-0f22-4dfa-abac-93949024d32a.jpg?v=1571611071 I’ve never dated anyone from the Circus before. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221029 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221029_mounted_21fe37db-9911-4534-8224-2317d0c26cef.jpg?v=1571611071 I’m glad their Apollo program is over. I was getting sick of taking this net down every five minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221031 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221031_mounted_1e626ad3-6271-4ba7-bd83-1d3189e423f5.jpg?v=1571611071 Love your costume. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221101 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221101_mounted_7b4699f2-41c3-4e43-a355-5a54f21750bc.jpg?v=1571611071 He’s not the man I married thirty years ago. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221102 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221102_mounted_e684a59b-a754-4c2f-93bd-d6a4164e81bd.jpg?v=1571611071 If we can break up the kidney stones, we don’t have to operate. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221103 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221103_mounted_0ae10c00-5f4f-4f3a-b617-8d55bcd87bd2.jpg?v=1571611071 Grab your bread roll. It’s in my pocket. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221104 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221104_mounted_be89dc28-f571-4c05-9077-6122d48e25cd.jpg?v=1571611071 That’s in case you’re in the kitchen. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221105 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221105_mounted_944a10da-1f1b-4fa3-802c-4961d22cc82a.jpg?v=1571611071 Want mashed potatoes? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221107 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221107_mounted_cda53e27-f957-4cf6-8783-3aaca73ae43b.jpg?v=1571611071 Cold lunch today… I’m going out. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221108 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221108_mounted_29a1f42a-5be4-4612-9181-f5d7b36b5d83.jpg?v=1571611071 Your new next-door neighbor just backed over your china cabinet. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221109 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221109_mounted_37c5092a-aa36-49c0-b29c-4a2781902e6e.jpg?v=1571611071 Are you the guy who sold me this burglar-proof lock? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221110 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221110_mounted_7e7fe24d-8968-4a1a-abf2-2e8c36b9d94f.jpg?v=1571611071 What are the frog’s legs made of? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221111 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221111_mounted_a3b36dd2-27d5-4f57-a0a9-7e6453522bfc.jpg?v=1571611071 Call this toll-free number if you want to cross the street. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221112 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221112_mounted_b0772b0d-ae1b-4e78-a81b-80db40da5c42.jpg?v=1571611071 You told him to choose the weapons… so he chose that. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221114 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221114_mounted_e0088fe5-3c37-4ea1-8568-4c762386ecc9.jpg?v=1571611071 I’d expect it from the younger generation, but asking for more money at your age is absolutely inexcusable. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221115 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221115_mounted_35e09090-b4f7-4272-8dcb-e2eaa57f8637.jpg?v=1571611071 I won’t ask how your day was. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221116 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221116_mounted_cfac92b0-e2a5-4506-ac77-ccd116eb52d3.jpg?v=1571611071 I hope you don’t expect me to make toast with that after you’ve dried your feet with it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221117 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221117_mounted_dd9032b7-3f74-4412-92b6-c4550247b909.jpg?v=1571611072 I couldn’t get an extension cord. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221118 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221118_mounted_6758911b-3038-4bbc-b308-33971ceb876e.jpg?v=1571611072 I was trying to keep up with my GPS. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221119 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221119_mounted_a746f985-8c9c-480c-9f4a-3fbc7b6abebf.jpg?v=1571611072 They’re signaling us… it says, ‘Keep the noise down’. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221121 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221121_mounted_f84916d4-1085-4d2f-95fc-935223920471.jpg?v=1571611072 Forget it. I’m never gonna get THAT hungry. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221122 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221122_mounted_fc1fdea2-b88b-4df3-a18e-58e2d6c9a5e2.jpg?v=1571611072 I told your boss you were going camping for 12 years. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221123 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221123_mounted_e0441ca7-0fb1-45df-9ffc-a35a9608d7f9.jpg?v=1571611072 As soon as he’s figured out the steering, he’s buying a bike. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221124 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221124_mounted_b228478c-34e0-4fe4-aac3-7e955dedec92.jpg?v=1571611072 What’s the best nail for hanging a coat on? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221125 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221125_mounted_73d72552-c441-4f91-88eb-5aaf08d44d7b.jpg?v=1571611072 It’s a set of screwdrivers. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221126 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221126_mounted_f476f828-b94c-4840-8a12-7ea0927efbe7.jpg?v=1571611072 Eleven and three-quarters. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221128 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221128_mounted_5900cc85-b716-404a-a857-089b1b6e2551.jpg?v=1571611072 We can compress a year’s garbage, but the trick is to get a two-ton bag down the driveway. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221129 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221129_mounted_d72faf31-11f3-4986-9db8-60849d495a99.jpg?v=1571611072 Auntie’s turn. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221130 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221130_mounted_fe6f6002-9888-42e6-b0ea-f13f7fad08a4.jpg?v=1571611072 D’you think you could play a little louder? I keep falling asleep. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221201 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221201_mounted_e552b85e-ffeb-4a52-baa8-0ab239d5b44c.jpg?v=1571611072 You shouldn’t have told him it was your birthday. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221202 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221202_mounted_86a78746-3827-4912-9a4a-093ed04e39ea.jpg?v=1571611072 It’s just a touch of heartburn. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221203 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221203_mounted_a17f2629-a309-4ea6-89c7-10beb2642693.jpg?v=1571611072 Which one of you is ‘Chief Crazy Nose’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221205 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221205_mounted_39708f5b-a1ff-4166-a336-d45d3bac51a1.jpg?v=1571611072 If they make ‘Jaws meets Godzilla’, it’ll give your mother a chance to break into movies. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221206 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221206_mounted_22587468-a137-4878-b1ce-b73771593552.jpg?v=1571611072 I’ve heard of starting things early, but it’s a million years B.C.! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221207 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221207_mounted_df0d4668-6b02-488f-a45d-de25d5665d35.jpg?v=1571611072 This ‘Horace the Hamster’ stuff is driving me bananas. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221208 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221208_mounted_35c680e5-68d7-443a-9c47-6de64e3f64ed.jpg?v=1571611072 They say pets start resembling their people. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221209 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221209_mounted_1872ee1e-f0e4-46a7-9a13-0ac428347c4f.jpg?v=1571611072 I seem to be losing my touch. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221210 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221210_mounted_4d91c7a4-7140-45a8-92b6-a4036d38a396.jpg?v=1571611072 Be nice to my mother when she gets here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221212 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221212_mounted_fbe391b9-0f8d-403c-a16d-b24fcc7d1a11.jpg?v=1571611072 Did you know your front wheel fell off? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221213 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221213_mounted_21a20e3d-7a52-47b4-ba6e-9cb551d43e93.jpg?v=1571611072 My, my… you’re the image of your father! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221214 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221214_mounted_c0c1366e-d652-4a44-9da9-dab874f88f66.jpg?v=1571611073 I guess that takes care of my Christmas bonus for the next 25 years. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221215 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221215_mounted_366d7124-5da1-4a8e-a2a0-b2638040982b.jpg?v=1571611073 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221216 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221216_mounted_30a22ba5-4119-4130-ad86-77f5a35ecd2e.jpg?v=1571611073 These should do it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221217 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221217_mounted_e5f73a88-b111-4ac7-8b61-e99dc3c40ebb.jpg?v=1571611073 Say when. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221219 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221219_mounted_8d2c168f-4883-4876-b897-90189648f952.jpg?v=1571611073 You the guy who ordered the ‘Grand Slam’ pizza? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221220 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221220_mounted_ccf09abe-6f23-4d76-a7af-e0a22038f447.jpg?v=1571611073 He’s got a sore throat. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221221 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221221_mounted_df60808a-a280-4d42-b16e-9fba1f328a1a.jpg?v=1571611073 Will you please say ‘good night’. Our guests are leaving. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221222 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221222_mounted_bcd9e3e5-ea05-456a-97c2-7770df571b2c.jpg?v=1571611073 What is it with your profession! You’re the 39th doctor to tell me I’m a hypochondriac this year. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221223 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221223_mounted_699ac8c1-fe4a-43ba-9f09-3ea63d480fa7.jpg?v=1571611073 If you’re Santa Claus, who was that dummy in the glasses who left me all that junk last year? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221224 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221224_mounted_3e6f6cd9-f0f5-4dff-be45-46b83d321b2d.jpg?v=1571611073 You know Christmas is the only chance Daddy gets to sleep in. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221226 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221226_mounted_e0f19e5f-abaf-41f4-9dd6-a8ac3e842e74.jpg?v=1571611073 I don’t mind telling you I’m glad Christmas is over! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221227 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221227_mounted_9a47f133-1547-47cc-86e7-a2e4b7abc4a0.jpg?v=1571611073 And don’t wish me a Happy New Year because I do not want one. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221228 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221228_mounted_0bdcc77b-51dd-49b7-a8f6-b7ad5efc7ce3.jpg?v=1571611073 She gave me aftershave for Christmas, so I gave her beauty soap. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221229 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221229_mounted_c33e7fb4-0693-4e8e-8438-699e5ca8e0a5.jpg?v=1571611073 I told you not to order a Zombie in here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221230 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221230_mounted_8551a2e1-1d6e-4f78-8763-bb72cfb88096.jpg?v=1571611073 I told you not to drink that on an empty stomach. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm221231 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm221231_mounted_1220bd4b-ded4-4b2e-8aa6-80d10d413c88.jpg?v=1571611073 Think it’ll work? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230102 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230102_mounted_968c36fe-7f91-4af3-a745-10f23292e62f.jpg?v=1571611073 I hear you got an artificial heart. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230103 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230103_mounted_7739eb67-0141-4026-b223-50a7bba9b5f4.jpg?v=1571611073 Your wife phoned. She said if you want toast for breakfast, bring home a loaf of bread! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230104 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230104_mounted_5acd2edd-e7bd-45cd-96e0-9704717247c0.jpg?v=1571611073 My sister wants to exchange this for a radio-controlled tank. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230105 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230105_mounted_45ae7a2b-e2ef-4003-8b36-df83873d0fa5.jpg?v=1571611073 Do you recognize this pan as the one your wife used? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230106 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230106_mounted_e67071a4-a644-4bbe-9023-1792a4cd76be.jpg?v=1571611073 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230107 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230107_mounted_ffafa62e-c56c-475d-b4b0-0edd9dbf4e78.jpg?v=1571611073 Here comes this week’s challenge! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230109 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230109_mounted_37d99256-09d6-4403-955e-8800141946f2.jpg?v=1571611073 First things first. Get your stomach off my desk. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230110 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230110_mounted_f1563c91-90e1-4f7c-bbe1-200aa09e763e.jpg?v=1571611073 Can I take them with water? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230111 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230111_mounted_96d5ccb6-8a26-4b11-abe3-1201326a360e.jpg?v=1571611073 Did your mother say you could build a nuclear device? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230112 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230112_mounted_b0431f3e-4117-46ec-8a8b-dcee3175c51b.jpg?v=1571611073 Bread dough or not… you’d better go and get my gun. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230113 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230113_mounted_4f93d145-84f6-47cf-905b-8445cad64e9e.jpg?v=1571611073 No, I don’t think so. I haven’t got a pilot’s license. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230114 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230114_mounted_aebb4fdd-100a-4af9-89d1-95b1217776c9.jpg?v=1571611073 Pity… would’ve made a nice set of luggage. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230116 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230116_mounted_b5c8da9a-5654-4032-8862-7fada90dd9ea.jpg?v=1571611073 Let me guess! You’re our new security guard. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230117 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230117_mounted_3be2f67c-dde8-4ec5-8b07-4547c02a2412.jpg?v=1571611074 If I didn’t have all my faults, I wouldn’t have had to marry a creep like you. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230118 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230118_mounted_f5051dc9-d409-44ed-8987-f6b6b2a6fae8.jpg?v=1571611074 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230119 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230119_mounted_88fb54b1-619a-4624-a6fb-4749f9614bad.jpg?v=1571611074 My wife wants to read for a while so I thought I’d watch you guys. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230120 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230120_mounted_41475e7f-99ed-4dbb-8505-57f722ab56d7.jpg?v=1571611074 This one’s a big seller. Makes you smell taller. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230121 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230121_mounted_827b63e9-9b6e-4a66-ade2-d6965f0f4b55.jpg?v=1571611074 What’sa matter with that goofy cat? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230123 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230123_mounted_81a7b8ce-f321-4b7a-bdd0-05003a531935.jpg?v=1571611074 Does that hurt? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230124 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230124_mounted_812bb997-94fb-4a3d-aa73-b01b4493a86c.jpg?v=1571611074 Whaddyer want for supper, fish or meat? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230125 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230125_mounted_b0e90435-3609-49dd-ae9f-7ea19e8fc057.jpg?v=1571611074 The doctor will see you now Mr. Harris. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230126 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230126_mounted_476c207c-b87f-4f43-9503-cc2a94521463.jpg?v=1571611074 Gimme a gin and lettuce. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230127 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230127_mounted_61c5aa7e-23c0-43b8-928e-6e5281dd703b.jpg?v=1571611074 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230128 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230128_mounted_f1a6132f-37ff-430c-bdf8-c86867102243.jpg?v=1571611074 You don’t mind if I smoke, do you? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230130 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230130_mounted_f7766d1d-9f88-4681-9104-e88f80afa769.jpg?v=1571611074 Your mother just phoned… she’s coming over. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230131 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230131_mounted_9ef30664-a426-414c-bf8f-33888cc981bc.jpg?v=1571611074 Would you say you are, ‘extremely happy,’ ‘happy’, ‘average’ or ‘bored stiff’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230201 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230201_mounted_4436aeb1-1e67-4aed-903d-d0b5fbf6b156.jpg?v=1571611074 Joe’s my bodyguard while I tell you where I’ve been all night. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230202 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230202_mounted_05ea11c8-b184-4f7c-b6c6-29579c57d410.jpg?v=1571611074 He asked me to put some ketchup in here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230203 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230203_mounted_d92e24b6-0a2c-4ccc-b1f9-a96eb1026bcb.jpg?v=1571611074 This is your last chance, Steve. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230204 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230204_mounted_98c0acf0-dd54-4c6a-943e-b2903248d118.jpg?v=1571611074 Anybody got the right time? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230206 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230206_mounted_8b4b0ae3-9fff-456b-9746-3169171e2d62.jpg?v=1571611074 We’re gonna have supper as soon as you shove off. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230207 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230207_mounted_cb79c566-44e7-4254-9d61-a6034b04fe1e.jpg?v=1571611074 He painted that one on our camping trip. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230208 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230208_mounted_b5d28ed0-20c6-4cf4-a3fa-d0a29763d88d.jpg?v=1571611074 It always speeds up when I take my clothes off. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230209 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230209_mounted_f23bdc77-dc3f-4d51-bf3b-e40e1ad92658.jpg?v=1571611074 He must have remembered your banana cake. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230210 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230210_mounted_b4013ff8-3452-4711-8db1-939bdd5781f0.jpg?v=1571611074 The neck’s too tight. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230211 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230211_mounted_6e299a6f-85f0-4f37-b9fe-65868006c2fe.jpg?v=1571611074 I think he wants to be friends! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230213 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230213_mounted_a00e39b0-607d-42fc-a75f-92cbb6816aea.jpg?v=1571611074 It wasn’t THAT under-cooked. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230214 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230214_mounted.jpg?v=1571611074 The doctor won’t be long. Would you like a magazine? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230215 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230215_mounted_1984b8cc-4fdc-42d1-872e-fef6d8af98d9.jpg?v=1571611074 I got a job housekeeping for a motorcycle gang. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230216 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230216_mounted_3217e835-6e91-49f4-abf6-876785082bd4.jpg?v=1571611074 Boy, if you could see my date for Saturday, you’d go straight out and buy a new car. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230217 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230217_mounted_ac424666-79b0-4cf4-8b89-02b6faced061.jpg?v=1571611074 I thought you liked this perfume? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230218 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230218_mounted_ce8709c3-80c0-43fb-897e-ce3620c1f4e9.jpg?v=1571611074 I don’t care if he is your grandfather; he’s not staying another week. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230220 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230220_mounted_820cc405-5a00-4c25-bec1-07f0beb5c65d.jpg?v=1571611075 You’ve got a nice little recession of your own going on up here! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230221 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230221_mounted_9422d468-6b18-49b1-ade8-ec33f90d0be5.jpg?v=1571611075 Can I get an advance on my inheritance? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230222 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230222_mounted_db14d0bf-3df6-4203-ad04-afe8922b4f30.jpg?v=1571611075 Stay alert. They’ve tripled the import duty on wallpaper. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230223 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230223_mounted_69992301-ebab-4d23-871e-fdb4c2b8a45f.jpg?v=1571611075 The court ruled in his favor. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230224 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230224_mounted_2914ce6f-741c-407b-a609-1cb4c0270a55.jpg?v=1571611075 He may as well have mine, now! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230225 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230225_mounted_315942d9-2859-4ee8-9f73-1ea24f52b661.jpg?v=1571611075 I’m just going over to the bowling alley to get a candy bar. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230227 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230227_mounted_d6c32db1-31e8-4ca6-9114-f3f51ed10f09.jpg?v=1571611075 Technically, you could say you dis-armed him. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230228 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230228_mounted_3494c83c-9eab-4a67-9f7b-a21e1721299f.jpg?v=1571611075 His idea of life in the fast lane is going through the express checkout with a can of prune juice. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230301 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230301_mounted_70ff24e0-6f35-49c1-9f62-dabdc67675df.jpg?v=1571611075 This is ‘Earth.’ We don’t hang around here too long — they’re all bananas. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230302 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230302_mounted_dcf70dc3-aa17-4ddb-aed3-2c349b7cc26c.jpg?v=1571611075 Do you have to keep saying ‘bunch of junk’ every five minutes. I’m enjoying it! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230303 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230303_mounted_02c2e1e8-8daf-4026-9e74-269a46c5de50.jpg?v=1571611075 I’m sorry I’m two hours late. Are you nearly ready? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230304 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230304_mounted_a1562c04-afe8-416c-b052-9106c0c01ff2.jpg?v=1571611075 She doesn’t buy many luxuries but she loves her stereo. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230306 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230306_mounted_f92e08b6-a84f-414b-88cb-905a08be8374.jpg?v=1571611075 How d’ya feel about giving a quart? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230307 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230307_mounted_babb9304-56ca-4ba5-82cc-90f95b3b680f.jpg?v=1571611075 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230308 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230308_mounted_61ff844a-3767-47ef-a602-241a730d1aee.jpg?v=1571611075 You should see the pills I have to take. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230309 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230309_mounted_a1c355b0-ebec-40fb-bbec-266cc269b87f.jpg?v=1571611075 Guess what ‘Catch of the Day’ is. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230310 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230310_mounted_1e583705-2c10-4b6d-8bc2-82c94e26cc38.jpg?v=1571611075 Where do I get stamps? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230311 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230311_mounted_57603956-fa11-481a-a23f-0d273626b736.jpg?v=1571611075 Someone’s stolen my bicycle! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230313 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230313_mounted_86981101-39ff-4424-8603-7b0e833d5b9b.jpg?v=1571611075 Don’t look at me like that, I was polishing it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230314 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230314_mounted_db749a0b-7426-4cc7-98ba-c1c9266312fd.jpg?v=1571611075 Would you prefer to eat inside? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230315 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230315_mounted_8f38e350-a66d-470b-ad32-f2eb51d6a652.jpg?v=1571611075 He fetched it upside down again. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230316 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230316_mounted_fd4ad69b-6b60-4d87-bba0-c38d52bedf97.jpg?v=1571611075 Never trust a dog that smiles like that. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230317 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230317_mounted_d20327e7-970a-4dff-bf0c-424ee229d9e1.jpg?v=1571611075 He was the world’s greatest juggler. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230318 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230318_mounted_8331fa1d-ef47-4f05-badd-b7c821106e9b.jpg?v=1571611075 If it’s gonna take six hours to wear off, shall we send out for a pizza? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230320 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230320_mounted_08155e36-1fd5-4f28-ba97-b4991799946b.jpg?v=1571611075 George makes all our own furniture. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230321 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230321_mounted_a3a25c76-457e-4b1d-afe8-072636900570.jpg?v=1571611075 I missed the gas pedal. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230322 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230322_mounted_55040b73-25dc-4a56-90cb-06f9c035d81c.jpg?v=1571611075 You haven’t signed these traveler’s checks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230323 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230323_mounted_1e17f40d-1ac7-433c-a38d-d048835b9c06.jpg?v=1571611075 Well, I just hope I look as good as you do on my 110th birthday. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230324 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230324_mounted_b5f478a5-b71a-4895-bbe6-1f1012f1d056.jpg?v=1571611076 Your interest starts now. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230325 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230325_mounted_62e4d9f5-f710-4051-825e-5dceafd11003.jpg?v=1571611076 It’s the same every spring. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230327 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230327_mounted_352f2e84-885b-4893-955d-256dfc54f85d.jpg?v=1571611076 Take your time, Doc. I’m enjoying reading Predictions for 2008. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230328 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230328_mounted_df754d88-ccea-42c4-8bb6-41bff19fc583.jpg?v=1571611076 I’m outside the railway station after 3 o’clock. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230329 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230329_mounted_21bbd5e6-e878-48e6-9485-5a3d177458ad.jpg?v=1571611076 I’ve got good news and bad news. We found you a donor, but the guy was 104 years old. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230331 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230331_mounted_2236920f-f44b-4f58-8a23-a8ff5a46deaa.jpg?v=1571611076 When I said 2 times 4 equals 6, I meant after taxes! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230401 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230401_mounted_bf1337a1-036a-4db4-8236-4ce72d5a17f5.jpg?v=1571611076 The oldest thing in there was the woman selling tickets. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230403 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230403_mounted_02b04107-4418-4b1f-88ee-235e6551f7ab.jpg?v=1571611076 I am well aware that it’s a religious holiday. But you can’t deduct Christmas expenses from your taxes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230404 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230404_mounted_a2954588-a521-4914-9db7-4e2316fe8703.jpg?v=1571611076 Here’s that book you ordered, ‘Income Tax Made Easy.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230405 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230405_mounted_26f98e51-313a-4d2d-90cb-4e2e8aca0806.jpg?v=1571611076 Waterproof up to 60 fathoms. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230406 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230406_mounted_f1eb23c9-e6ef-409a-b9b1-4ceb5a780177.jpg?v=1571611076 Nervous flier… He promised me an extra 10 bucks if I miss his plane. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230407 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230407_mounted_4da728ad-f86a-4028-85fc-643a21f0b738.jpg?v=1571611076 I gotta pay tax on that $5 Grandpa gave me! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230408 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230408_mounted_f29d0413-60ac-4ccc-bc51-1f34fd23e46c.jpg?v=1571611076 It’s me. I’m changing my image. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230410 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230410_mounted_a881cedb-3053-46a4-8e77-ec26ceea4a98.jpg?v=1571611076 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230411 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230411_mounted_f599bb17-45bd-4893-a7f1-1c0ecea96cc5.jpg?v=1571611076 Let’s see, I need $899 plus tax… https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230412 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230412_mounted_28c0201d-f47a-4825-9415-8f952d14ec1c.jpg?v=1571611076 I thought you said you were in shipping. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230413 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230413_mounted_13711032-ddfb-4eb8-91ac-eb0caea03c7b.jpg?v=1571611076 You’re not as good as my brother. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230414 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230414_mounted_44bf0f38-4a3a-4595-939f-feda7cfdfd20.jpg?v=1571611076 So I said to him, ‘Where is it written down that women should always be the one to look after a baby’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230415 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230415_mounted_fffa8724-ccc3-465e-8770-5ac8807a92ae.jpg?v=1571611076 I think I’ll take just one of these! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230417 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230417_mounted_8d6443f9-4148-4a99-9961-699b16010613.jpg?v=1571611076 You are two completely different personalities. That’ll be $200 each. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230418 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230418_mounted_3be31533-17da-4900-bb12-50939452967a.jpg?v=1571611076 It missed my new hat by that much. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230419 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230419_mounted_a080498d-f397-4205-86a9-b6c00be693e0.jpg?v=1571611076 She tries to watch what she eats but her eyes aren’t quick enough. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230420 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230420_mounted_316193b2-1cdf-4482-8963-55f8c859e666.jpg?v=1571611077 Get me to the airport in 10 minutes and I may overlook this filthy cab. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230421 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230421_mounted_54fd7a6e-ba2a-4a4c-bd6e-d95027e76364.jpg?v=1571611077 Why don’t you listen? I said bring me a WENCH. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230422 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230422_mounted_8dd87d79-d0ac-4804-a11a-21dd29419ed7.jpg?v=1571611077 I’ll just pay you when I’m sure I like it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230424 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230424_mounted_fc6cb1b4-0201-4bdf-887f-d7f7b06b42a8.jpg?v=1571611077 If you Jane, me Harry. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230425 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230425_mounted_3c59dc91-8232-45eb-a51f-e940b6c9e6bd.jpg?v=1571611077 Who ordered the chicken burger? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230426 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230426_mounted_c54277ce-a48b-4737-8818-64904cbc3749.jpg?v=1571611077 My teacher says my marks aren’t bad considering the genes I have to work with. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230427 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230427_mounted_9e552aad-53ae-49d9-9def-c7c824382582.jpg?v=1571611077 We found him hiding in a laundry basket. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230428 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230428_mounted_a263fc2e-e076-4c20-bda3-f7a98c33ee31.jpg?v=1571611077 Lights out! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230429 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230429_mounted_d2b3786e-52d4-4cd1-9cce-18514f77ac42.jpg?v=1571611077 Anyone else for the airport? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230501 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230501_mounted_d36ea651-3176-46ec-892a-b8f2a733d172.jpg?v=1571611077 Here’s the coffee… right at the back. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230502 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230502_mounted_400f69b9-26bf-4130-96f4-d037caeb7d86.jpg?v=1571611077 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230503 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230503_mounted_d97fbda9-cf99-487b-8b36-5a66e5f8a717.jpg?v=1571611077 Your boss says you can have the rest of the afternoon off. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230504 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230504_mounted_4db5f959-943c-4080-acab-b1673fc2071b.jpg?v=1571611077 Look in the brochure. See if it says it’s dishwasher safe. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230505 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230505_mounted_36c4ec94-d309-4b48-b2d1-ff72febae249.jpg?v=1571611077 Can you do the seat-belt demonstration again? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230506 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230506_mounted_36e68a79-f2d6-4269-9337-0ad0079d7e87.jpg?v=1571611077 The art teacher told us not to get disheartened if our first portrait looked like a hippopotamus with a hat on. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230508 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230508_mounted_928507a6-cce3-4694-847e-534f1697fbbc.jpg?v=1571611077 I’ve been at the hospital all day. My wife broke her fist. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230509 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230509_mounted_87723e01-e0b6-49e2-8bd5-fdf8c06045e4.jpg?v=1571611077 OK, OK, that’s enough! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230510 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230510_mounted_5db5b633-7e5e-40b6-8943-70d9e9c3e47d.jpg?v=1571611077 I can’t hear any problems, but that’s not surprising. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230511 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230511_mounted_9d916eec-9dbd-4082-a221-70fd7633cfb1.jpg?v=1571611077 Let’s try once more. We could get lucky the third time. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230512 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230512_mounted_77c98557-9c76-4000-8503-c4e13434c28b.jpg?v=1571611077 He almost made it across the river. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230513 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230513_mounted_d0cbdb0b-3545-404c-82d5-58823b2c4b9c.jpg?v=1571611077 I’m sorry, we do not lend Miss Perkins. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230515 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230515_mounted_8b84e466-5a93-45a2-a1b3-f7410e138563.jpg?v=1571611077 See what happens when you have too many walkies! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230516 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230516_mounted_394c3c5b-a8b9-480a-9b9b-1a74e94937da.jpg?v=1571611077 I can only give you a few minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230517 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230517_mounted_5e52595e-d1f1-4ffd-952f-7b3a53df2db8.jpg?v=1571611077 It’s getting too commercial. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230518 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230518_mounted_249b6252-deae-44f5-b735-db2909e835b5.jpg?v=1571611077 Is that all you have to say in your defence? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230519 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230519_mounted_52d60422-f56d-4973-b8b4-baffe2610ec7.jpg?v=1571611077 Rambo… Robert… Michael. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230520 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230520_mounted_eeccd7bc-b377-4c82-9d4d-5d9161d1ae11.jpg?v=1571611077 He’s the equivalent of 49 years old, but he’s not intelligent enough to get crabby! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230522 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230522_mounted_fa0c277d-e457-4b58-80ca-f69d22006fe3.jpg?v=1571611077 Here, you wanted a shark’s-tooth necklace. Dig those outa my leg. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230523 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230523_mounted_bcd4f3c0-d352-4d31-9877-fd151e25e56d.jpg?v=1571611077 There’s a fly in my straw. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230524 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230524_mounted_fa834b54-3952-475f-9bcd-13723d07fa31.jpg?v=1571611077 This is my husband, the last of the big suspenders. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230525 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230525_mounted_789c857e-a011-40b3-9a89-59c80b21cb96.jpg?v=1571611078 Sign here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230526 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230526_mounted_1cb12ffb-f663-41dd-a1ba-860f9658a19f.jpg?v=1571611078 Would you like a drink whilst the chef is trying to catch the Catch of the Day? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230527 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230527_mounted_098e1ad6-cd22-4961-9688-b3ba226f3b11.jpg?v=1571611078 I wish I could think of a way of eliminating this static cling. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230529 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230529_mounted_d26be52b-1ac4-42f1-beb4-1c68ba4b3a45.jpg?v=1571611078 What are the chances of exchanging a red and green shirt with blue stripes? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230530 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230530_mounted_6a3198f9-0a43-4520-8e4a-73044863b6e9.jpg?v=1571611078 Haven’t you got any bigger tables? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230531 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230531_mounted_c4e8af01-8a15-47f4-ae7e-3c3af063fe61.jpg?v=1571611078 You’re being charged with ‘disturbing the ambience.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230601 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230601_mounted_4ec42990-c92d-4f53-bd03-f238c916a31a.jpg?v=1571611078 Pest control https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230602 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230602_mounted_8ef4dc56-d3d0-4e20-b6a0-3f31fad11722.jpg?v=1571611078 They only delivered to little old ladies. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230603 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230603_mounted_0a1e5f59-97e2-4de9-badb-2e09b0d8e7cc.jpg?v=1571611078 You must be the new member. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230605 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230605_mounted_ca999d6f-a617-4cd6-acf2-4eeafc2cbee4.jpg?v=1571611078 I can’t drink cold soup. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230606 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230606_mounted_4019798d-9cce-4cd2-bcb0-019f65a25050.jpg?v=1571611078 My ex-husband was up all night buying everybody drinks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230607 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230607_mounted_685a7c58-2623-4405-93e8-3716a3a6929e.jpg?v=1571611078 I wanna say, ‘take your job and shove it’ in poinsettias. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230608 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230608_mounted_eeee484d-ab0a-4f83-911a-e6cb4a2c2471.jpg?v=1571611078 That’s your organic shampoo. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230609 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230609_mounted_a3809208-894c-4ae0-a5b4-6b42e2b9f75e.jpg?v=1571611078 I can’t wait to open your suitcase! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230610 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230610_mounted_77de7587-9ec7-49af-ae8a-c4bc81d9663c.jpg?v=1571611078 Your greenflies are all over my bushes again. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230612 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230612_mounted_971ce6bf-2328-4d1c-8518-bd1699592bfb.jpg?v=1571611078 Oh, it’s you! I thought it was a burglar. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230613 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230613_mounted_e066ded9-e45f-4f74-8cc3-2d3b44d90a7c.jpg?v=1571611078 We managed to put the fire out. Just do the front lawn. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230614 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230614_mounted_e37426c5-d366-408f-b330-026ff396ef1f.jpg?v=1571611078 I’m sorry, sir, you’ll have to return to your seat. We’ll be landing in a few minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230615 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230615_mounted_d0c1fcf9-5216-4aa3-bb0e-a865abf42efc.jpg?v=1571611078 Hold still. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230616 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230616_mounted_e6f8b5b6-7425-4df2-a96f-0845b4621372.jpg?v=1571611078 You need more exercise. Go and get me a cheeseburger with onions. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230617 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230617_mounted_698fb211-a655-47d3-9f0e-5949ef06add1.jpg?v=1571611078 I’ll count to three, then I’m gonna use the sink. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230619 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230619_mounted_a86e1620-a3f1-42fb-a6ce-0d4bdf806d25.jpg?v=1571611078 Who’s having the raw herring? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230620 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230620_mounted_47af1c09-ce62-4e61-8552-b1ba9a04aced.jpg?v=1571611078 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230621 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230621_mounted_e045f559-25be-460d-922a-474677e9979c.jpg?v=1571611078 When I said you could have your friends over for lunch, I meant humans. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230622 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230622_mounted_79e64965-15aa-4bf9-abfe-8ad3852ecdf0.jpg?v=1571611078 These should make you relax. You won’t have any money to do anything else. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230623 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230623_mounted_4e6a93e6-1200-477d-b47d-a8ba871bbd64.jpg?v=1571611078 I’d like to introduce you to my second wife, but I’m still stuck with first one. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230624 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230624_mounted_aa09cb20-326c-4bdd-8849-00d7f0a38366.jpg?v=1571611078 I’m getting sick of this arm wrestling to see who does the dishes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230626 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230626_mounted_efa43f0c-88b4-4d7f-86ab-5e9c8a142b39.jpg?v=1571611078 Don’t tell me that’s not the best speech I’ve ever written. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230627 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230627_mounted_af8d8994-f0a5-4a08-b82b-b2abbd884507.jpg?v=1571611078 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230628 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230628_mounted_492a0cfa-5d29-4540-85fc-15b203f556a2.jpg?v=1571611079 That’s in case you run a red light. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230629 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230629_mounted_165c9c33-4f77-4ab6-bb33-1997afad577a.jpg?v=1571611079 I want to send this birthday card to my brother, c.o.d. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230630 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230630_mounted_ee8797a6-4569-4db7-a29e-036b15320c06.jpg?v=1571611079 Someone stole his elevator shoes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230701 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230701_mounted_60338c66-7089-45ac-b48a-7e0f6ab8fa91.jpg?v=1571611079 Are you sure there wasn’t a full moon last night? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230703 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230703_mounted_81853d41-9d86-44ab-9b77-b8830e026433.jpg?v=1571611079 Make sure you get one with a roof-rack. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230704 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230704_mounted_ad050a1b-9879-4385-be01-4feb86e8a16b.jpg?v=1571611079 I burned my arm. Your sausages are under the stove. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230705 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230705_mounted_ae0dbc1e-153b-4967-8bec-244ac84a3471.jpg?v=1571611079 You the guy with the fly in his soup? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230706 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230706_mounted_d681b3c4-16b8-4ba9-955f-d59ccdd0a0bb.jpg?v=1571611079 Hand over the french fries, you dirty rat. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230707 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230707_mounted_5f6f5c27-2191-432c-b327-bcf622b05e04.jpg?v=1571611079 I gotta leave you on your own for a few weeks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230708 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230708_mounted_496e3898-2468-41c2-aa09-761c18b0944e.jpg?v=1571611079 Before you start the wisecracks, it’s for my granddaughter. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230710 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230710_mounted_fe0bbcda-7bf0-4dac-8287-4b201e94a350.jpg?v=1571611079 Why should I be the only one to suffer? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230711 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230711_mounted_7f85a12c-4193-49a1-b95b-9d4a2dc07fc3.jpg?v=1571611079 Two rolls of anything. It’s for our bedroom. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230712 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230712_mounted_271813ae-ab84-4716-9f38-56fb50d4f3b6.jpg?v=1571611079 He was trying to fill a disposable lighter. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230713 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230713_mounted_87ab1943-045c-4fbd-9728-6f170c293cfe.jpg?v=1571611079 I caught it in a copier machine. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230714 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230714_mounted_d902d332-69b2-4765-a7ec-5fdfc7ca1de5.jpg?v=1571611079 We’re not trying to sell your house; we’re selling the planet. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230715 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230715_mounted_fe347fb4-4ecd-46e7-84d6-cdf923f67598.jpg?v=1571611079 Hey, GET OFF MY LAND! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230717 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230717_mounted_fde2943d-bb55-4d26-b558-839de528d0ea.jpg?v=1571611079 It’s for my mother-in-law. Got anything rabid? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230718 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230718_mounted_a73f1561-9c2a-43c6-b087-50e5553a74ad.jpg?v=1571611079 How can you tell if an uncut diamond is genuine? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230719 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230719_mounted_d33c8deb-af04-4eba-8b80-a429bb06c9e8.jpg?v=1571611079 Why don’t you try it out before you buy it? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230720 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230720_mounted_2cf33e6e-1a76-41b0-83e1-9965894f10b8.jpg?v=1571611079 I’d say they’re about the most pathetic fantasies I’ve ever heard. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230721 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230721_mounted_68a5e42a-f1b8-4721-ab8c-73088566e246.jpg?v=1571611079 So this is your private box at the theater! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230722 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230722_mounted_a12b17b2-67af-4b0a-9df3-d2ee565ea009.jpg?v=1571611079 Are you going to drink this coffee or shall I throw it away? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230724 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230724_mounted_feae5f8a-cb3a-4d18-94e9-fa5ee0343118.jpg?v=1571611079 Got any non-dairy creamer? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230725 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230725_mounted_19eee2b6-4211-4759-9f95-36ea6603abdc.jpg?v=1571611079 He didn’t say ‘No’, he said ‘Maybe.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230726 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230726_mounted_5a2ae5d6-ce0a-4270-959b-d693cfc5117f.jpg?v=1571611079 Can I use your phone? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230727 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230727_mounted_f90cd4db-89c5-436f-bbfa-f018e3f5243c.jpg?v=1571611079 Dino doesn’t like pizza. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230728 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230728_mounted_724e0765-f2e8-4055-a00a-4b576faa0024.jpg?v=1571611079 I told you to get size 10. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230729 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230729_mounted_e1f82a6b-81a4-444a-8aa4-64985d3e60e0.jpg?v=1571611079 Don’t tell me your mother’s coming to dinner! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230731 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230731_mounted_cccbab38-9193-423d-8d4f-828c5ac35960.jpg?v=1571611080 Will you please take this thing away form him. I’m trying to read. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230801 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230801_mounted_02a39e53-f4fd-402b-9532-1d54355af613.jpg?v=1571611080 Your skeletal structure can’t support your weight anymore. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230802 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230802_mounted_397f3839-65d4-4f63-bff5-a2efe5f1635d.jpg?v=1571611080 Have you finished with that? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230803 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230803_mounted_b61e8632-3f72-4055-8cb3-2e9b76745021.jpg?v=1571611080 George is a big game hunter. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230804 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230804_mounted_737b4ec0-feae-48c9-bcf7-831b0fd45148.jpg?v=1571611080 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230805 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230805_mounted_f9aec10f-31b7-4a8a-a54f-d0839fbbeba3.jpg?v=1571611080 I think we’re in trouble. He doesn’t even know what a car is! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230807 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230807_mounted_9e57293c-bc0f-4ee5-8a08-f1f53322ab43.jpg?v=1571611080 I told him he was allowed one phone call and he called dial-a-joke! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230808 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230808_mounted_de1e9484-e34c-4dac-81b5-1c63bd4b7108.jpg?v=1571611080 It was just a bit of bad luck that 11 of the 12 jurors had their homes burgled. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230809 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230809_mounted_a23842c8-70c6-405d-af38-ab89618aa096.jpg?v=1571611080 My life insurance company has offered me a reduction if I eat out. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230810 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230810_mounted_2a3b57f8-f7ca-482e-91b4-9145220c4e62.jpg?v=1571611080 Can’t you remember your number? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230811 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230811_mounted_600dc79c-9235-408d-ab7e-9ac2042e6537.jpg?v=1571611080 He said he saw his suitcase fly past the window. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230812 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230812_mounted_26ded844-4747-4b21-b08e-94824b02f2cf.jpg?v=1571611080 All I said was, ‘Open your suitcase.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230814 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230814_mounted_e00e6eab-66e5-43f4-9fc0-7f3c445a9f13.jpg?v=1571611080 Sorry about the little accident, sir. Do you still wish to order something? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230815 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230815_mounted_8d8d648a-01d7-4c20-b6f6-424466b6a707.jpg?v=1571611080 The next six months will be mainly sunny or cloudy, with dry and rainy spells. Winds will be from most directions. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230816 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230816_mounted_0ff52354-db34-494b-9d85-44b27f7a1ae3.jpg?v=1571611080 I hope this divorce lasts longer than your last one. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230817 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230817_mounted_ef0bd8db-be83-4ba3-86dd-524460e5495d.jpg?v=1571611080 None of those buildings used to be there. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230818 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM230818_LR.jpg?v=1571611080 ‘Randolph’ if it’s a boy, ‘Jeanette’ if it’s a girl. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230819 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230819_mounted_4e277124-a919-4970-af17-6a453c448387.jpg?v=1571611080 Have you got $38 worth of quarters? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230821 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230821_mounted_3ae6cd5c-47c4-4df7-9c2e-bed4a58c2e28.jpg?v=1571611080 Chicken soup, without noodles. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230822 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230822_mounted_dbe2fe4c-e6be-4afe-9e59-45c694e45ed2.jpg?v=1571611080 It woke me up two hours late with a cold cup of coffee. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230823 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230823_mounted_69f49a4e-2f7c-4202-a389-6a3ca79a7d10.jpg?v=1571611080 We haven’t had a contract since 1742! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230824 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230824_mounted_e01a4076-c488-4c41-b75e-24eb7557a79e.jpg?v=1571611080 There’s a $100 bill in here! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230825 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230825_mounted_6f3f6fce-9549-47d3-a42c-7a55f7c77849.jpg?v=1571611080 Breaker-one-nine, breaker-one-nine. I need a glass of water. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230826 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230826_mounted_c4e0c9d1-807f-4567-bc4a-be40c863f950.jpg?v=1571611081 It’s his first time. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230828 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230828_mounted_d20fe0f8-0f0c-4bb2-a473-0fc73971a380.jpg?v=1571611081 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230829 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230829_mounted_15d3d926-60cc-407b-9109-c790488641cc.jpg?v=1571611081 Read the instructions very, very, very, very, carefully. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230830 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230830_mounted_c8756934-3a4f-4706-9737-6787a2fe446a.jpg?v=1571611081 They said you were wearing this when you fell off the roof. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230831 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230831_mounted_448bcf31-4642-4cb4-b8e0-d9ea3e7430e1.jpg?v=1571611081 I’d like to make an appointment for 8 o’clock Tuesday. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230901 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230901_mounted_617b00a3-d9b0-4f09-8e28-57004624c277.jpg?v=1571611081 The 50-cent surcharge is for the clean fork I brought you when you dropped the other one. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230902 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230902_mounted_0ada526b-3473-4c98-9b3e-2b42f4008115.jpg?v=1571611081 You can’t fire me, Bradley! You have to SELL slaves. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230904 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230904_mounted_44e24ef3-93cb-42fb-a61d-42e1cfdaae85.jpg?v=1571611081 That’s guaranteed waterproof to 100 meters. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230905 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230905_mounted_0dd5deef-cdf8-4428-84e3-bb199acd2e7b.jpg?v=1571611081 Any luck? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230906 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230906_mounted_c767b519-d364-4412-bc0c-ef1237c06e9c.jpg?v=1571611081 Stop burning the old guy’s breakfast. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230907 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230907_mounted_06b9b1a5-12b4-47aa-bd16-aa07408ec30f.jpg?v=1571611081 Is it for you wife or do you want to try it on? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230908 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230908_mounted_182551fe-3fef-4cad-8b51-1d7c5ef28a19.jpg?v=1571611081 You need two numbers for a pair of hinges. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230909 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230909_mounted_ec88b72a-f40a-456e-8eef-aee6bd7a446c.jpg?v=1571611081 Use your fingers. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230911 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230911_mounted_05de04e6-2152-4dda-8acf-647d9f550c2d.jpg?v=1571611081 If I let you drive yourself home, are you going to be turning left or right? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230912 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230912_mounted_ad29275c-4bc1-40fe-96f0-45096c41cad1.jpg?v=1571611081 Give me a few seconds to prepare myself. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230913 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230913_mounted_f1286f32-0685-4d53-a31f-bacfb14e3adc.jpg?v=1571611081 It’s Julius Caesar taking a bath. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230914 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230914_mounted_f98c167e-c442-427c-8bbb-b5af50a00229.jpg?v=1571611081 I see you’re back to five meals a day. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230915 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230915_mounted_00998ea2-9f57-4f4b-a547-07a8f1a39cec.jpg?v=1571611081 Seventy-five degrees. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230916 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230916_mounted_560ef22f-73cb-4ef6-b039-fa446ae72d1f.jpg?v=1571611081 It’s from the landlord. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230918 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230918_mounted_3425bff5-675b-424d-ae06-47e852119590.jpg?v=1571611081 Your flight left two hours early owing to a malfunction in the captain’s watch. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230919 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230919_mounted_419d54ab-dd3c-4440-9f26-6760e3cdbc4b.jpg?v=1571611081 I found wheel tracks in my roses again. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230920 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230920_mounted_2ef2d29d-d989-40dc-8df5-5d04e295036c.jpg?v=1571611081 I thought this place had a floor show. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230921 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230921_mounted_ca7fc866-ca5c-405e-83f2-5c606065ac03.jpg?v=1571611081 Are there any side effects to these pills apart from bankruptcy? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230922 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230922_mounted_e931cb00-7697-4d19-be99-75b8687328fc.jpg?v=1571611081 Not quite everything. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230923 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230923_mounted_38299947-4779-47ea-9c31-6efc0edf17ae.jpg?v=1571611081 Any escapes today? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230925 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230925_mounted_55decf24-cd6b-4d05-bb60-ac7177f84636.jpg?v=1571611081 What does he want to eat, a bowl of ants? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230926 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230926_mounted_c273bfd5-2784-4542-88d6-a736bc00dbed.jpg?v=1571611082 Vertical stripes definitely make you look slimmer. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230927 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230927_mounted_947e3b1f-3772-45b1-b5e4-67f3da8dfc78.jpg?v=1571611082 How d’you expect me to do all this homework without a computer? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230928 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230928_mounted_f5954364-1b53-4e92-aa24-9ae006bf3bf1.jpg?v=1571611082 I usually do the dishes on her birthday. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230929 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230929_mounted_9ec86590-01a0-4021-8065-f54ff3971770.jpg?v=1571611082 Who loaded this dishwasher? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230930 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230930_mounted_c3328ea4-9b53-45a3-aeb0-cd3489582173.jpg?v=1571611082 Which way do you think it’s facing? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231002 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231002_mounted_1004ece2-84ba-490f-84ab-835e856bf178.jpg?v=1571611082 He makes $100 an hour as an electrician. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231003 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231003_mounted_e7976482-3392-45d7-9d08-aecb1ee95790.jpg?v=1571611082 Are you sure it’s dead? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231004 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231004_mounted_c4701fc5-85eb-4fd5-a2d8-095e6601299b.jpg?v=1571611082 I’m studying astrophysics and you’re reading me ‘Goldilocks and the Three Bears’! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231005 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231005_mounted_dc61233f-ba63-45b4-a2ed-c856d2216db5.jpg?v=1571611082 Make up your stupid mind. Do you want me to cut your hair or not? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231006 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231006_mounted_1f693fd8-29ec-44ac-99e2-fc5be08cbee8.jpg?v=1571611082 They haven’t built the crib that can hold me. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231007 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231007_mounted_4cb944ef-3536-4a08-acbb-cf1dac11218c.jpg?v=1571611082 My wife took the car and that came home on its own. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231009 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231009_mounted.jpg?v=1571611082 D’you want me to pull it off fast or slow? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231010 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231010_mounted_4dc04ccf-05ac-49aa-9527-7bd830c2cee3.jpg?v=1571611082 Every summer we get another rash of ‘Littlefoot’ sightings. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231011 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231011_mounted_49fc6ad8-fc24-44fa-8f6b-47814ca86c7e.jpg?v=1571611082 We didn’t eat all that junk food when I was a kid. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231012 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231012_mounted_a04fc562-49a8-41db-b80f-47efb506e93d.jpg?v=1571611082 How come my sister gets big blue capsules and I get cough syrup? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231013 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231013_mounted_0f010016-2e39-4707-ab2f-e54a05832794.jpg?v=1571611082 Don’t ask. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231014 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231014_mounted_f3bce186-477a-4b40-955f-cf691d2dbbc8.jpg?v=1571611082 I know you got 30 years! But you still have to pay my legal fees. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231016 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231016_mounted_9a30c499-a2cf-45cc-9604-d4e2d3928949.jpg?v=1571611082 Guess who? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231017 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231017_mounted_5fd2a2ad-b8de-432c-9688-62a0b8b82fca.jpg?v=1571611082 He’s got his grandfather’s nose. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231018 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231018_mounted_6cb94e41-5cd9-4786-927b-abaa40d17a10.jpg?v=1571611082 What if everyone went around pouring ketchup over their mother-in-law? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231019 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231019_mounted_682d9b44-30f7-46fe-91d2-9ade66a20adf.jpg?v=1571611082 Mom found your credit cards under the mattress and she’s gone shopping. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231020 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231020_mounted_1a9d3562-d904-4c40-bf60-4f35ae59d529.jpg?v=1571611082 I’m gonna use this ball. I keep losing the other ones. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231021 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231021_mounted_698ab9fc-aa5e-4737-af15-1a21cfbba728.jpg?v=1571611082 Take that back! It tastes like the stuff my wife makes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231023 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231023_mounted_82d8dccd-e0bd-442a-ab13-5145eabbe4ed.jpg?v=1571611082 They won’t breed like that! Push the bowls closer together. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231024 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231024_mounted_489df292-40cd-4139-bcc4-285d785534a0.jpg?v=1571611082 You’ve got Dutch elm disease. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231025 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231025_mounted_4e86e672-d0db-4978-9d19-3486bf830d83.jpg?v=1571611082 If women change after marriage, I’m in luck! My fiancee can’t cook and argues every five minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231026 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231026_mounted_1985620f-7c36-48aa-8a29-d0c2cbd55e22.jpg?v=1571611082 Are they allowed to give me five parking tickets in one day? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231027 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231027_mounted_3573e28a-58c6-448d-919a-3ec0d8a90ad3.jpg?v=1571611082 I’ll have two eggs and some b-a-c-o-n. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231028 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231028_mounted_ea7ba7ce-5dc0-43da-8b5b-da7ae16a3fe2.jpg?v=1571611083 Let me do the talking. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231030 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231030_mounted_f569e477-089f-4181-a96e-e7012116ee4c.jpg?v=1571611083 How could anyone flush a goldfish down a sink? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231031 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231031_mounted_b05b9acf-3ffd-4505-a2cb-1a21efd6c7fa.jpg?v=1571611083 You asked us to build a computer which could replace the government. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231101 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231101_mounted_919b8d43-b1e2-4925-8e00-f4246075cc24.jpg?v=1571611083 You won’t find it under ‘plumber.’ Look under ‘drain surgeon.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231102 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231102_mounted_35b273c2-6c27-4951-b63e-9ba27e0973c7.jpg?v=1571611083 Go to sleep. Everybody has one foot bigger than the other. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231103 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231103_mounted_31b8e7ef-1869-47d7-9c33-501d1fcb2b5c.jpg?v=1571611083 I bought the first cup last Tuesday. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231104 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231104_mounted_7cae56ef-993d-4546-affd-9495809b135a.jpg?v=1571611083 It says.’Owee. Ouch-ouch. Get off. Hurts. Oh, please. GET OFF!!!’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231106 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231106_mounted_b4f68447-4dde-4eea-b989-653f2a0784dc.jpg?v=1571611083 There’s nothing on TV. D’you want to have an argument? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231107 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231107_mounted_5716eb45-bc73-41d3-b100-86d2b34f885a.jpg?v=1571611083 Two cheeseburgers to go. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231108 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231108_mounted_95f1d7ae-2874-4e9a-a30c-8186cf6e4fcf.jpg?v=1571611083 If you’re thinking of buying lottery tickets, save your money. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231109 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231109_mounted_81c8b6db-fc78-424b-85be-92693c55c97d.jpg?v=1571611083 Let’s get out of here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231110 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231110_mounted_3e778434-8367-4d91-b322-6bd90e60b302.jpg?v=1571611083 What do you mean, you ‘got custody’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231111 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231111_mounted_5b6d28e0-dc2c-4bb4-8128-e53f3eb4a152.jpg?v=1571611083 Where else will you get an eight-seater for that price? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231113 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231113_mounted_a6aec951-bebb-4892-a6e4-cd094cc42e5f.jpg?v=1571611083 He takes after his great great great great great great great great great-grandfather. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231114 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231114_mounted_ac8f6e24-3c9b-4735-9d0c-8c6f36b32a64.jpg?v=1571611083 You want a career? Try chasing bloodthirsty animals with a homemade spear. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231115 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231115_mounted_673d03ac-0480-431b-9c85-3bbe0d4ee3d3.jpg?v=1571611083 ‘Catch of the Day’ is fish sticks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231116 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231116_mounted_488080e2-5eca-451d-a5ce-bdbf4bc30cd3.jpg?v=1571611083 In 10 years, she’s gone from ballerina to sports arena. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231117 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231117_mounted_69ad4875-9979-498d-abc0-aff988b345a3.jpg?v=1571611083 Happy birthday… I dropped your cake. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231118 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231118_mounted_c1663f71-51b0-4a02-a2c8-611338697d26.jpg?v=1571611083 Your wife stuck in the bath again? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231120 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231120_mounted_9261dcb1-a7ee-4031-bb36-61e67c2222c9.jpg?v=1571611083 Heel. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231121 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231121_mounted_62bd562e-e9d9-4e4b-85ac-b68b0df047df.jpg?v=1571611083 I’ll have my usual: two eggs over greasy. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231122 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231122_mounted_d428057f-3c54-4411-989e-61175d3f71f4.jpg?v=1571611083 Three wishes for a dollar. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231123 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231123_mounted_8c851193-105f-417c-a70e-6ae00bf526d5.jpg?v=1571611083 I said, bring me a pitcher of water. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231124 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231124_mounted_08ea582a-92a8-4613-8465-b84a540dea80.jpg?v=1571611083 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231125 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231125_mounted_f591175c-5d1f-4139-ac8a-7df5e133c7ad.jpg?v=1571611083 If you’re bored, go home. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231127 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231127_mounted_2e9c5e95-f201-440f-be11-52645bab03d9.jpg?v=1571611084 When are you gonna understand? We’re not ‘jet-set’ we’re ‘train-set.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231128 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231128_mounted_3c2011c3-c110-4392-80b0-e8fb2d9bcc9b.jpg?v=1571611084 My wife needs plenty of warning with the lemonade. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231129 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231129_mounted_f43b2fa2-531b-4129-be2c-b3d4faed13ca.jpg?v=1571611084 I said we ought to iron out our differences so she hit me with the steam iron. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231130 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231130_mounted_2f882ee4-6249-4da4-8005-a7d86224fe07.jpg?v=1571611084 Goodbye and good luck. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231201 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231201_mounted_a77eb8b2-23d1-4be1-83a2-1b90a5edcd13.jpg?v=1571611084 I never said a word. He said it! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231202 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231202_mounted_0bb3d32a-f87c-41d1-a431-90125569151f.jpg?v=1571611084 My husband will be doing all the parking. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231204 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231204_mounted_b1a4ce58-5dae-4ca4-a35b-61bb933aa090.jpg?v=1571611084 If that’s supposed to improve your looks, it worked! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231205 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231205_mounted_ae262a70-9440-4728-b462-7ff43b7b4b02.jpg?v=1571611084 I need the front of a Ford and the back of a Toyota. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231206 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231206_mounted_b19ffd44-8719-4b21-ad1c-55d69fdd9264.jpg?v=1571611084 You go ahead of me. I think you’re faster. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231207 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231207_mounted_73e9a721-7506-49e2-9cb1-e0b998e4a2f2.jpg?v=1571611084 We went to Greece for a second honeymoon. Six days and seven fights. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231208 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231208_mounted_f69cf7ed-b364-4500-9d0f-42dc8f7fe2cc.jpg?v=1571611084 I can’t find the steak anywhere. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231209 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231209_mounted.jpg?v=1571611084 What’s that supposed to be? I want it for this Christmas, not for 2035. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231211 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231211_mounted_f3e33a12-eb37-4702-a31d-86c3f37f29ac.jpg?v=1571611084 It was in the freezer and must have thawed out! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231212 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231212_mounted_a398dad6-7259-42ec-a4cf-36c2945ee54a.jpg?v=1571611084 Can you manage that lot in one night? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231213 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231213_mounted_409aa70e-6a7e-4468-ad85-c6e60f3b0b01.jpg?v=1571611084 Must be the flowers I ordered for you birthday. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231215 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231215_mounted_80ca10bc-20b5-4626-a7f9-8af07beea150.jpg?v=1571611084 Not so much ice next time. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231216 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231216_mounted_db092fd8-0de2-4ae7-8c0b-2bbb59bdd659.jpg?v=1571611084 What are you asking me for? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231218 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231218_mounted_90ebbd76-caa5-4530-8827-c4666c084971.jpg?v=1571611084 Want a bow on it? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231219 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231219_mounted_1b58d859-ece5-46b9-819c-49c0343dcece.jpg?v=1571611084 I hate to leave without buying something. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231220 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231220_mounted_934c87d2-c46d-413f-81c5-5c5243d0e6db.jpg?v=1571611084 Here’s your supper. I’ve waxed the floor. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231221 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231221_mounted_833c8021-f171-45ec-863e-68e84cdca8fa.jpg?v=1571611084 You can go home for Christmas. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231222 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231222_mounted_1d9c14cb-6124-4d92-83e0-3ae93b74fd61.jpg?v=1571611084 That’s the fifth time you’ve wished me a Merry Christmas; what are you up to? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231223 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231223_mounted_dd512817-785d-46b2-a3e6-0e523b952507.jpg?v=1571611084 Get the stuff wrapped. They must be asleep by now. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231225 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231225_mounted_10323cf2-4927-4afa-9602-19a8088fbe39.jpg?v=1571611085 They’re still awake. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231226 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231226_mounted_16b740bd-8147-49b7-bc0f-5102e2db1ea0.jpg?v=1571611085 Socks again! I bought you a digital watch. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231227 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231227_mounted_de66f854-827a-4299-9e44-38651e78786e.jpg?v=1571611085 Give me a wake-up call around the middle of next week. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231228 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231228_mounted_0746270f-45ae-4ebe-a33b-aebc9c6219d8.jpg?v=1571611085 Will you please tell the court if this is the man you saw standing on the corner. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231229 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231229_mounted_a7a70fff-51bd-4d4a-aa32-afb06d255638.jpg?v=1571611085 Extraterrestrials have landed. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231230 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231230_mounted_a6c16eca-335c-47a1-afb5-8286bec80ba5.jpg?v=1571611085 Sure I’ll take you out to dinner! Which two restaurants? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240101 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240101_mounted_f621e16e-f97b-4222-af52-bd8b50289502.jpg?v=1571611085 Aren’t you going to wish me a Happy New Year? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240102 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240102_mounted_849c82e6-654c-4191-86a2-5ed846d55107.jpg?v=1571611085 He says you gotta go to bed and take a couple of aspirins. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240103 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240103_mounted_62625003-3126-4387-9517-f99e06115a15.jpg?v=1571611085 Can you eat turkey leftovers again? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240104 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240104_mounted_2c41592b-a9f5-49db-abda-077c3cf2f2c3.jpg?v=1571611085 Guess which tree my dad hit. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240105 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240105_mounted_34a2bbe1-6f1e-4fa4-b8f6-13b36f478b41.jpg?v=1571611085 They should move Christmas to January — everything’s cheaper. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240106 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240106_mounted_e31ce5a5-e158-4bc4-aa63-662038910d0c.jpg?v=1571611085 We’re nine points down. You’re fired. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240108 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240108_mounted_1f8dc523-e2fa-4149-b1e4-e5f7815cc6f4.jpg?v=1571611085 Her mother had a coat made and put ‘squirrel’ on the endangered species list! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240109 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240109_mounted_a635f197-a35c-48ef-a6af-0d2e77966dd9.jpg?v=1571611085 We’ve just walked two miles… that’s 14 for him. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240110 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240110_mounted_1037d8d4-ce9f-4f06-8e73-c19f7c234289.jpg?v=1571611085 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240111 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240111_mounted_efea517a-fd1f-4b26-8397-4da31ad58305.jpg?v=1571611085 When I said I wanted heavy-duty shocks, I didn’t mean the bill. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240112 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240112_mounted_5f7be5ed-e4d2-4b78-9ffd-507714385405.jpg?v=1571611085 Shakespeare, did your father help you with this homework? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240113 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240113_mounted_6d792db2-a170-4e58-9fe6-9bdfd4d1f089.jpg?v=1571611085 I know you’re cold. It’s cold for all of us. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240115 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240115_mounted_1911878c-89d2-4fc9-b636-bf50560b66e1.jpg?v=1571611085 Want me to get you a wig for your birthday? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240116 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240116_mounted_eb2505b2-c80d-4138-a301-2f5be68dc135.jpg?v=1571611085 There’s a 200-foot monster outside and he tells her to bolt the door. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240117 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240117_mounted_1b74418d-ae04-459c-8295-a4a29386f359.jpg?v=1571611085 Your mother’s out in the yard. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240118 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240118_mounted_3bc751e5-bd24-41c8-81c3-622bb71dcca7.jpg?v=1571611085 Make sure you hand that pass back before you leave the building. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240119 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240119_mounted_a78ec8d4-9f17-4e17-9e10-e29b92a35e3d.jpg?v=1571611085 I always sit behind her on the bus in case there’s a head-on collision. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240120 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240120_mounted_cc771078-6e2e-41dc-b67f-295fcb0399fe.jpg?v=1571611085 He’s allowed only in the kitchen. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240122 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240122_mounted_25633fdc-9f14-42df-a0ea-fe79f0aa8868.jpg?v=1571611085 Divorce is very hard on the goldfish. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240123 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240123_mounted_92d7436f-d4f2-435a-a11b-92ed28ff53c5.jpg?v=1571611085 You go and have your family reunion and I’ll meet you by the penguins. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240124 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240124_mounted_21347414-8113-4513-82e2-f93dd9f5a0d0.jpg?v=1571611085 Did you feed this cat? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240125 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240125_mounted_2d4e370d-e8e2-45f2-a528-a886e1015c1d.jpg?v=1571611086 What time did he discharge himself? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240126 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240126_mounted_2d2be7e0-826e-4de4-8c1e-af88a4a10236.jpg?v=1571611086 Got a pedal for a ‘91 Batmobile? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240127 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM240127_mounted.jpg?v=1571611086 My name or the dog’s? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240129 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240129_mounted_dccba244-b1a7-4cad-8e6f-341f6a21ef34.jpg?v=1571611086 Wanna take it for a test push? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240130 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240130_mounted_683f0641-5389-4cd2-833d-8c8c483d459a.jpg?v=1571611086 This is my oldest hamster, Marvin, from my first marriage. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240131 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240131_mounted_1aec8d37-6847-4acd-985e-71ee6878c795.jpg?v=1571611086 Millions of years of evolution, and that’s the latest model! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240201 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240201_mounted_1f81ec51-97d9-4bf0-838e-1271df0280ec.jpg?v=1571611086 Terrible thing, depression. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240202 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240202_mounted_a67c8473-f908-484d-9cfa-080ab3fda6ff.jpg?v=1571611086 Just imagine I’m a pizza and deliver me to my sister’s. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240203 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240203_mounted_64a0fd44-80c7-4f0f-aeb0-a19db17fdbd5.jpg?v=1571611086 I wouldn’t buy anything else from the Amazon. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240205 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240205_mounted_af2f5de2-cee8-4bf9-887b-6d5e369d6fc4.jpg?v=1571611086 One round-trip and one one-way. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240206 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240206_mounted_0fa34c3f-4b1b-4ece-a346-4f1e89ffa6c7.jpg?v=1571611086 Now, what seems to be the trouble? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240207 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240207_mounted_26752c0c-1d4c-4202-830a-b2974c532a3c.jpg?v=1571611086 George is an astronomer. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240208 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240208_mounted_7898e873-027a-4b5b-b9b8-4e708e393121.jpg?v=1571611086 That lifeguard said, ‘Tell your wife to stay out of the shipping lanes.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240209 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240209_mounted_78ae5655-e8ff-466d-afb5-5c91895a78e8.jpg?v=1571611086 It’s Happy Hour. Do you want grape or raspberry? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240210 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240210_mounted_cc6b1939-dc9a-4a81-8175-29c3fba250e2.jpg?v=1571611086 Hey, Rosie. Gimme a small grape juice and stick it on his tab. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240212 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240212_mounted_d6e88d92-c51d-4f1c-9230-183262dfaa6a.jpg?v=1571611086 Whaddyer mean, ‘They don’t look like you’? You idiot. They’re eggs! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240213 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240213_mounted_7ef3b678-6d20-488f-bea2-26312d200fef.jpg?v=1571611086 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240214 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240214_mounted_9bb2c6d3-459b-4835-876a-06ae0a5602e6.jpg?v=1571611086 He didn’t know it was adjustable. He thought it was for a vibrating massage. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240215 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240215_mounted_dd66472e-6837-4596-8267-9ae48bc58b12.jpg?v=1571611086 Today’s special is spaghetti with alphabet letters in the sauce. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240216 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240216_mounted_83d81200-4902-40a4-91b6-9c71255e0074.jpg?v=1571611086 The other scraper! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240217 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240217_mounted_663f1295-797c-430f-9f2d-89c9f11b96ef.jpg?v=1571611086 He always does that when he’s hungry. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240219 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240219_mounted_aa6a571c-466f-451b-af9d-85650074e25f.jpg?v=1571611086 I’m a singing birthday card. Got a piano and a couple of beers? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240220 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240220_mounted_0d1ce988-4a2b-41bc-ab4f-a7b368aaa279.jpg?v=1571611086 He took out my appendix and I haven’t got a scar. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240221 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240221_mounted_380d2664-5651-4dd9-8976-ec1cfbb793c4.jpg?v=1571611086 You’ve got enough in there for two weeks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240222 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240222_mounted_9e3b3a4f-7f25-42ce-adc4-913be0a8664c.jpg?v=1571611086 You’ll need a wide-angle lense for protraits. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240223 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240223_mounted_702bcdc8-3a11-457f-ba6c-c3b467773702.jpg?v=1571611086 She never wants to go out. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240224 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240224_mounted_a067d39b-ccf9-47c8-9eb9-d323f6b0256a.jpg?v=1571611086 I don’t know how you can stand to eat those things. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240226 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240226_mounted_fd694d66-9c5e-4a55-878e-c7b8ed8a69a8.jpg?v=1571611087 He’s 50,000 years old. That’s three and a half million to you and me. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240228 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240228_mounted_27331f2e-fa1c-472e-b6d3-8f1cd6562b77.jpg?v=1571611087 We were just toying with the idea of going to see a movie. Can you come back in about three minutes? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240229 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240229_mounted_bc86c739-861d-4df8-bed4-f5707eed8dec.jpg?v=1571611087 You ordered a small Pisa. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240301 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240301_mounted_ef185c9c-bcf7-419f-96ba-efec7b782dca.jpg?v=1571611087 We found your knees. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240302 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240302_mounted_8bf26bc6-4001-423b-89e2-6a77439119b4.jpg?v=1571611087 Dad, the cat got married! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240304 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240304_mounted_c0d5883f-b863-4593-be37-96bb7fb5a361.jpg?v=1571611087 Got any calorie-reduced, caffeine-free, non-dairy, low-cholesterol dog biscuits? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240305 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240305_mounted_1b1cc9d0-cf7a-40d4-8680-37ccecbae320.jpg?v=1571611087 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240306 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240306_mounted_7335b6ca-77f5-48e5-8318-e549233a6e8d.jpg?v=1571611087 They’re gonna use your X-rays in a textbook! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240307 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240307_mounted_2d004905-1954-4fe6-95a2-bc4b8ba83554.jpg?v=1571611087 I don’t want to rush things. Let’s exchange photographs first. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240308 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240308_mounted_e07a2bf9-f42b-467b-83f5-0f6c6ae3aaf5.jpg?v=1571611087 Who’s next? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240309 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240309_mounted_d896a695-4d56-4c0a-86ea-bb7d8ac5aa2f.jpg?v=1571611087 You’re a vet. Don’t you know what it is? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240311 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240311_mounted_d1d6d8d7-7634-4736-af94-76c6ab318d35.jpg?v=1571611087 Wait till you guys feel this leather. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240312 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240312_mounted_27e83667-a827-49b9-82e5-86c77bcafab8.jpg?v=1571611087 Does anyone need to use the bathroom while we’re here? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240313 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240313_mounted_7140939a-2658-4b49-8e4d-291efc64969f.jpg?v=1571611087 And don’t give me any of those local anesthetics. Get me the imported stuff. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240314 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240314_mounted_bed0a3e8-c190-4624-b463-92e0fb7200a7.jpg?v=1571611087 He tied a knot. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240315 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240315_mounted_a292b9c5-cbca-4361-88de-5eaaf77e58ed.jpg?v=1571611087 We’ll take the one on the left. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240316 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240316_mounted_b68d75ca-ad9f-45b3-a621-0408a338da99.jpg?v=1571611087 You put the comics page in here. You know he likes the editorials. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240318 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240318_mounted_2a664dfe-28ee-4c22-909e-c8275d8d7666.jpg?v=1571611087 The dog ate a whole bag of chili powder. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240319 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240319_mounted_4d0592db-cb61-4fe9-849b-cb4f7b417dc9.jpg?v=1571611087 Eventually, when we get more space, we’re gonna build them little houses and real little lawn mowers. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240320 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240320_mounted_c2fff637-65e2-42d9-972e-fce277806bf7.jpg?v=1571611087 Hey, Harry, can I have the key to the sugar? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240321 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240321_mounted_4f3b3697-332a-4faf-9a9b-60c3b14bf8f7.jpg?v=1571611087 I told her I wanted a ‘trial separation’ so she tried to separate my shoulder! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240322 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240322_mounted_8c5333bb-19da-4fb2-b412-346794d94d80.jpg?v=1571611087 I wanna buy a book about the universe. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240323 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240323_mounted_4becb863-cfe4-4249-9e17-30aa6c30a3b3.jpg?v=1571611087 I told you it wouldn’t float. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240325 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240325_mounted_ab239b63-7bfa-42e8-ab44-5fec7409e6de.jpg?v=1571611088 Is that supposed to be a tip? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240327 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240327_mounted_8331bb54-06cd-478d-8dd2-5bc798b4ca3b.jpg?v=1571611088 Did you say that guy next door joined the Army? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240328 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240328_mounted_2a201c4c-59d0-46ae-8234-dc2cc086492f.jpg?v=1571611088 Bagel! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240329 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240329_mounted_f035ebc3-45d8-43f3-8995-a329666071bc.jpg?v=1571611088 I stongly recommend the only thing we’ve got left. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240330 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240330_mounted_34a6e0e8-16de-468c-b8df-e2c958fe29f5.jpg?v=1571611088 We bought another dog. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240401 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240401_mounted_bb113e04-fb77-4dd0-8d93-67b31c8ff8cf.jpg?v=1571611088 OK, OK… you can stay out Saturday night. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240402 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240402_mounted_2a9ca701-57d7-47f5-8cf6-630579a671b8.jpg?v=1571611088 Your medical insurance has run out. You’ll have to remove your own bandages. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240403 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240403_mounted_eedd73ba-3836-4500-84e2-73b83f39c904.jpg?v=1571611088 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240404 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240404_mounted_49019581-315d-4a1f-a548-a397dc7f5149.jpg?v=1571611088 Contact lens cleaner? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240405 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240405_mounted_f07613f7-2c1a-4af6-ad73-1cb0399200ff.jpg?v=1571611088 Getting ready for the annual sheep count, Mildew? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240406 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240406_mounted_aafe8394-f8be-442d-9604-e9f14a7b7265.jpg?v=1571611088 How much would it cost to send a 185-pound wooden crate to Hawaii for two weeks? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240408 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240408_mounted_232f42f2-11a8-4ac4-afb2-afa64dd53b31.jpg?v=1571611088 Remember what you learned yesterday. You’ve got to sit up here behind the wheel. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240409 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240409_mounted_a5b65613-ba89-4cab-aef9-f6c61ca85bce.jpg?v=1571611088 We’ll get you down to X-ray in a few minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240410 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240410_mounted_8b869649-f676-4475-b2d2-e64841686c1f.jpg?v=1571611088 You’d look a lot better if you didn’t wear a striped shirt. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240411 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240411_mounted_f178b0a9-5ce3-4b4f-9881-3e3fdae6fbd6.jpg?v=1571611088 What happened to the TV? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240412 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240412_mounted_c93555e8-e9e6-4727-9481-339cdb36c7e9.jpg?v=1571611088 He hates taking a bath. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240413 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240413_mounted_3aacc787-a998-4557-84f8-28308a987e77.jpg?v=1571611088 What am I going to do if it rains? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240415 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240415_mounted_f68aa9a0-8d0a-4062-8323-6481ffa14284.jpg?v=1571611088 No offense, but I have installed a little electronic homing device on my suitcase. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240416 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240416_mounted_94b5c532-20d0-468b-8ffc-ef472f30617b.jpg?v=1571611088 It’s too tight. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240418 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240418_mounted_a951872e-3b6b-4fd0-9547-ac50374dbae3.jpg?v=1571611089 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240419 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240419_mounted_bcede800-374d-4adc-929b-eefee9017192.jpg?v=1571611089 They know it’s feeding time in 10 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240420 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240420_mounted_d03dd51e-1aca-4b65-b805-34e8cc40dab7.jpg?v=1571611089 Are we still hiring minorities? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240422 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240422_mounted_31351317-9912-4586-b0cd-2c57b8ed8128.jpg?v=1571611089 I’ve just proved I don’t exist. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240423 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240423_mounted_4ed4f3bd-e245-4a9b-8e66-95a8daed3c37.jpg?v=1571611089 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240424 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240424_mounted_c7e10ad3-31f2-4c02-9144-d520dd42d3ec.jpg?v=1571611089 I decided to save you the trouble of visiting me. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240425 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240425_mounted_5f5a94af-afe2-419f-80c4-9cee72d02cef.jpg?v=1571611089 I don’t suppose you got the license plate number, did you? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240426 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240426_mounted_f31f501c-5820-4805-a332-a647a6e79820.jpg?v=1571611089 Are you thinking what I’m thinking? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240427 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240427_mounted_634e6996-1ebd-4d40-b592-f07e66e4ca20.jpg?v=1571611089 Excuse me… you’re blocking the aisle! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240429 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240429_mounted_4f5779aa-9749-4323-9d71-8b2f18f9b68f.jpg?v=1571611089 This will all be yours one day, Darryl. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240430 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240430_mounted_a0216833-757f-4cad-8fcb-52ef9b436b25.jpg?v=1571611089 It states quite clearly… ‘evening dress.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240501 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240501_mounted_922cb674-0170-4f0d-83d6-b9b8f39e72b1.jpg?v=1571611089 Oh no! Freezer burn! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240502 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240502_mounted_137f6d87-6b97-454d-a455-e813f0e85be3.jpg?v=1571611089 This one’s not doing much for me. What else have you got? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240503 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240503_mounted_32f25ccf-aaf0-47ac-9757-1069d44eaccf.jpg?v=1571611089 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240504 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240504_mounted_98c7b71f-09a5-4fb7-a75f-c28f52368a2e.jpg?v=1571611089 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240506 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240506_mounted_b4b2127f-1fda-451b-b216-0756650617c0.jpg?v=1571611089 When I said for better or for worse, I didn’t know the worse was gonna be this worse. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240507 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240507_mounted_ed9ec499-9202-4650-bb8c-a8c5e5306452.jpg?v=1571611089 It must be your pronunciation. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240508 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240508_mounted_4b5629dc-4638-43d6-a1a3-8903395db081.jpg?v=1571611089 When I was a little girl I used to be afraid of sliding down the drain. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240509 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240509_mounted_bbe25caa-7fac-4c9a-bbfe-140b979870e0.jpg?v=1571611089 Your wife says you stopped a runaway horse. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240510 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240510_mounted_25642630-094d-49be-95d9-8e37ceb98003.jpg?v=1571611089 Needless to say, we don’t buy extra-large eggs anymore. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240511 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240511_mounted_b3d79290-2a6d-4509-9fe3-9649c450e0b5.jpg?v=1571611089 I don’t have to take off my clothes, do I? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240513 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240513_mounted_1b0fd4af-f481-4d3f-8e83-4ca208af8f9e.jpg?v=1571611089 With this $365 ring, plus sales tax, I thee wed. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240514 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240514_mounted_16e8dbb8-54f9-4d01-a799-978194cd06a8.jpg?v=1571611089 Make up your mind, Harold. Which one of us do you want to stay married to? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240515 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240515_mounted_0ebe7c4c-4613-4286-bec0-61b89e321691.jpg?v=1571611089 I need enough money to buy my fiance an ice-cream. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240516 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240516_mounted_08b95a1f-7f3b-4578-b905-051d77052c03.jpg?v=1571611089 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240517 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240517_mounted_22d5f136-eb1a-4301-8e82-522ba33cfd56.jpg?v=1571611089 Will you stop grinding your teeth! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240518 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240518_mounted_d7180379-1de9-45c3-8bfa-449a1df74416.jpg?v=1571611089 I think you ordered us a three-course meal from the wine list. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240520 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240520_mounted_7a04a222-4115-4d4d-875e-af814c719f4c.jpg?v=1571611089 What do you mean you overslept? That’s the third battle you missed this month! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240521 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240521_mounted_7f1060d0-dc67-428b-b7cc-36978cf0f22b.jpg?v=1571611090 The old methods are still the best. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240522 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240522_mounted_d379d36d-cc83-4ab4-942a-6c7d0e099e75.jpg?v=1571611090 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240523 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240523_mounted_0d625fec-d92b-4f3c-a8fd-a10487cedc05.jpg?v=1571611090 I know he’s your cousin, Maurice, but don’t you think he’s a little strange? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240524 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240524_mounted_18ab3b9e-4caa-47c9-bcb5-74c5d16a48c6.jpg?v=1571611090 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240525 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240525_mounted_02e84315-3bfa-42e7-974f-4e794d5f3713.jpg?v=1571611090 Drink this, but stand over there by the sink. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240527 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240527_mounted_68e83481-c535-4b4c-adc0-a55575a4b25b.jpg?v=1571611090 It’s barely noticeable from the outside. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240528 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240528_mounted_6f4438d9-ba5b-4852-b7c2-0c095f65f046.jpg?v=1571611090 Do you want to know what’s wrong with you or just the dollar amount? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240529 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240529_mounted_5e04f643-77af-4248-904d-08ce3df00cae.jpg?v=1571611090 You gonna be long? I’m double-parked. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240530 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240530_mounted_f0d7b86a-6295-4210-b14e-b18c814228d1.jpg?v=1571611090 We’ve genetically engineered a tuna exactly the same diameter as our cans. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240531 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240531_mounted_bc1bc3c6-7f14-4f1f-9d6c-96412b0464d1.jpg?v=1571611090 I’ll just let them help themselves. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240601 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240601_mounted_6e049584-ef6e-4930-bdfd-066fcc6059a4.jpg?v=1571611090 Your resume says you spent ‘fore years at collej.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240603 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240603_mounted_4d5f7f15-6a83-4ef0-a29e-128d83d7b211.jpg?v=1571611090 You got down there to do sit-ups and fell asleep. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240604 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240604_mounted_5f903fcf-e15b-446c-b98c-5e0a55dd2b37.jpg?v=1571611090 We were made for each other, Cybil! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240605 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240605_mounted_85496506-9932-4eca-9a58-9ff952326ba4.jpg?v=1571611090 What do you mean you don’t trust banks? You only have $34. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240606 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240606_mounted_ca15a7a3-d36a-44cf-be40-f25439b5ed68.jpg?v=1571611090 Who d’you think wants to drink that after you’ve been sitting in it? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240607 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240607_mounted_1cd2aefa-4e46-443c-88e6-47735eab010f.jpg?v=1571611090 I hit it with the truck. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240608 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240608_mounted_ff2286da-9611-414c-891a-cfe68ff612b1.jpg?v=1571611090 I was abandoned by my parents as a baby, and raised by a family of rabbits. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240610 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240610_mounted_edb8fa01-84f5-4f0c-bcae-5f5dedfa2ebc.jpg?v=1571611090 Five cans of ceiling white. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240611 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240611_mounted_6c795b70-6672-4d0d-a853-4217005e05fe.jpg?v=1571611090 So, did any of your other clients lose money on the stock market besides me? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240612 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240612_mounted_05389e1a-aab4-41ee-a677-f28939956478.jpg?v=1571611090 Joyce, what was that thing you bought for your car when it wouldn’t start? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240613 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240613_mounted_f246bff6-e441-40d8-942c-2a70e50bc2ad.jpg?v=1571611090 Mom!… I’m over here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240614 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240614_mounted_9b76c0bc-5853-468d-956c-eafb5b127080.jpg?v=1571611090 Get lost, lady. I’m looking for the X-ray department. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240615 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240615_mounted_404fd291-8aa1-4572-80e3-825dafcce76c.jpg?v=1571611090 I’m looking for a card that reflects me… cheap. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240617 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240617_mounted_83976470-5795-4820-a8cc-e36a6dd57837.jpg?v=1571611090 Try to remember all the things you’ve eaten in the past three days. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240618 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240618_mounted_8b704f8e-d4c8-441f-90e3-6b22105051ec.jpg?v=1571611090 I can’t remember: Are accountants ‘left brain’ or ‘right brain’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240619 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240619_mounted_b17f33c3-2587-4d16-9af9-36790e545502.jpg?v=1571611090 He starts barking when the mailman leaves the depot. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240620 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240620_mounted_9bcce509-f543-44b5-8328-06f3bb0c1f89.jpg?v=1571611090 Don’t turn around, and hand over the keys to the monkey house. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240621 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240621_mounted_ef9020da-44e4-4dbe-8c69-22d73a1491b8.jpg?v=1571611091 That picture was taken when I was on the ground. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240622 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240622_mounted_ef2b5770-dcfd-4d90-abf5-114bf5db7dfd.jpg?v=1571611091 He told me to wake him at exactly 8 o’clock. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240624 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240624_mounted_a0f5f9bc-5268-421a-b937-8f7b33b876e1.jpg?v=1571611091 Have a cup of coffee while I’m getting ready. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240625 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240625_mounted_cfacb263-9af9-4ae0-8134-a037feaa97aa.jpg?v=1571611091 Well, now you know what my ex-husband looks like. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240626 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240626_mounted_1ef9e296-274a-4372-b39c-2599d4573f2b.jpg?v=1571611091 Good luck, Miller. Try to stay out of trouble. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241008 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241008_mounted.jpg?v=1571611091 I’m well aware you’re only 28 years old. That’s why I’m telling you to take better care of yourself. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241009 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241009_mounted.jpg?v=1571611091 We don’t care whose house it is, we don’t want you at our party. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241010 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241010_mounted.jpg?v=1571611091 Have they removed the saxophone yet? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241012 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241012_mounted.jpg?v=1571611091 The dog wants to come in. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241014 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241014_mounted.jpg?v=1571611091 Keep your mouth closed when you’re eating. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241015 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241015_mounted.jpg?v=1571611091 I’d hazard a guess there’s an ‘E’ on there somewhere. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241016 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241016_mounted.jpg?v=1571611091 You’re going to have to stop eating on the run. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241017 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241017_mounted.jpg?v=1571611091 That stove should be in a war museum. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241018 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241018_mounted.jpg?v=1571611091 Good morning, sir. Is your wife home? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241019 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241019_mounted.jpg?v=1571611091 Can you get that phone? I’m trying to bathe the dog. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241021 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241021_mounted.jpg?v=1571611091 Get a move on. I’m not paying $6 for another frisbee. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241022 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241022_mounted.jpg?v=1571611091 I’m taking you off the vitamins for a while. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241023 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241023_mounted.jpg?v=1571611091 My hands are not as steady as they used to be. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241024 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241024_mounted.jpg?v=1571611091 It was last Christmas… I asked my wife to send me a cake with a file in it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241025 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241025_mounted.jpg?v=1571611091 MISSED! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241026 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241026_mounted.jpg?v=1571611091 Any mail for Number 27, Frank? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241028 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241028_mounted.jpg?v=1571611091 Every time you take him for a walk he gets longer! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241029 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241029_mounted.jpg?v=1571611091 He’d just spent $600 having his tooth capped. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241030 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241030_mounted.jpg?v=1571611091 You ready? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241031 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241031_mounted.jpg?v=1571611091 Have you been at my sherry again, Wilkins? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241101 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241101_mounted.jpg?v=1571611091 The Marquis of Halifax writes, ‘The vanity of teaching doth oft tempt man to forget he is a blockhead.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241104 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241104_mounted.jpg?v=1571611092 Put 62 cents’ worth in there. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241105 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241105_mounted.jpg?v=1571611092 I know the blood pressure in your arm! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241106 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241106_mounted.jpg?v=1571611092 Leave a clamp or something in me. I could really use the money. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241107 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241107_mounted.jpg?v=1571611092 I’ll be back in an hour, Sweetheart. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241108 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241108_mounted.jpg?v=1571611092 If anyone needs me, Joyce, I’ll be up on the roof for about 20 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241109 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241109_mounted.jpg?v=1571611092 Want me to put the cat out? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241111 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241111_mounted.jpg?v=1571611092 Has this dog been out today? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241112 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241112_mounted.jpg?v=1571611092 I’m gonna count to three. Then I’m going home without you. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241113 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241113_mounted.jpg?v=1571611092 Here’s my bill. That should stop you from smoking and drinking for a few months. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241114 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241114_mounted.jpg?v=1571611092 Breathe OUT. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241115 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241115_mounted.jpg?v=1571611092 Is it ten minutes to five already? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241116 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241116_mounted.jpg?v=1571611092 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241118 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241118_mounted.jpg?v=1571611092 He loves people. But mostly he gets canned dog food. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241119 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241119_mounted.jpg?v=1571611092 Your eardrums are showing definite signs of rejection. How long have you been a musician? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241120 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241120_mounted.jpg?v=1571611092 I’m going to take you off the nitroglycerin pills. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241121 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241121_mounted.jpg?v=1571611092 That car you sold me is only getting about six miles to a gallon of gas. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241122 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241122_mounted.jpg?v=1571611092 Is there something you can give my husband to reduce my blood pressure? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241123 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241123_mounted.jpg?v=1571611092 They’re specially bred for long walks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241125 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241125_mounted.jpg?v=1571611092 He can’t hold on forever. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241126 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241126_mounted.jpg?v=1571611092 If I had to guess, I’d say a very large horsefly. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241127 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241127_mounted.jpg?v=1571611092 This is an architect’s office. The chiropodist is next door. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241128 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241128_mounted.jpg?v=1571611092 We were discussing separate vacations last night. Sorry about all the noise! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241129 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241129_mounted.jpg?v=1571611092 You say it was silver, cigar-shaped and had the letters U.F.O. painted on the side? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241130 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241130_mounted.jpg?v=1571611092 He’ll only go on the rug. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241202 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241202_mounted.jpg?v=1571611092 Look at this! You give those mice an inch and they take a mile! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241203 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241203_mounted.jpg?v=1571611092 OK, turn on your left side and face the window. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241204 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241204_mounted.jpg?v=1571611093 Don't say, 'so what' when I tell you your foot's on fire! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241205 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241205_mounted.jpg?v=1571611093 See that! I said the dog looked like your mother and it bit me. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241207 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241207_mounted.jpg?v=1571611093 Did you remember to send your mother a birthday card? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241209 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241209_mounted.jpg?v=1571611093 I thought that was the exit. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241210 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241210_mounted.jpg?v=1571611093 Does that hurt? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241211 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241211_mounted.jpg?v=1571611093 What was all that screaming outside? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241212 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241212_mounted.jpg?v=1571611093 You’d better not play cards with your wife for a while. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241213 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241213_mounted.jpg?v=1571611093 For Pete’s sake, don’t sit behind her when we get inside. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241214 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241214_mounted.jpg?v=1571611093 I thought you said, ‘Hand over the bunny’! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241216 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241216_mounted.jpg?v=1571611093 Cradle snatcher! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241217 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241217_mounted.jpg?v=1571611093 He says he’s developed a dependency on three meals a day. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241218 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241218_mounted.jpg?v=1571611093 How’s he sleeping at night? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241219 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241219_mounted.jpg?v=1571611093 I told you to fetch me a sander. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250101 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250101_mounted_3e389672-978b-41c9-8ee6-5b36481b449b.jpg?v=1571611093 It’s not egg on toast. It’s egg OR toast! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250102 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250102_mounted_a10c8d1e-e1e4-4355-b142-50dbb4331b5f.jpg?v=1571611093 I’m the dishwasher out back. Hide my tip in the gravy. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250103 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250103_mounted_4ff93f37-b601-4792-b645-b37f83693c36.jpg?v=1571611093 He bought an exercise bike and couldn’t get it started. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250104 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250104_mounted_1f10b3e2-b369-491c-ada7-d18c63ad2f16.jpg?v=1571611093 I hear you won the lottery. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250106 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250106_mounted_2e1c8732-4913-4a91-a78b-3eec76700993.jpg?v=1571611093 No thank you. My husband’s a reformed wino. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250107 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250107_mounted_fa3b9efc-d912-4ff4-85e3-46554fc54f64.jpg?v=1571611093 No, thanks. I couldn’t take your last nickel. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250108 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250108_mounted_c031490f-d83e-43b0-a1e7-dd7363dbd723.jpg?v=1571611093 Got a good can opener? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250109 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250109_mounted_4b4af740-c8d9-4b71-bb47-ab5dbe35a22f.jpg?v=1571611093 He’s known about us for years. They’ve locked him up twice! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250110 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250110_mounted_3dd8ff2b-fd69-4ae4-8e52-bd0ad897f6fd.jpg?v=1571611093 You said you wanted your eggs over. Well, they’re over the back of the stove. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250111 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250111_mounted_46221f96-6de4-42ef-ad0f-5e0e303fde31.jpg?v=1571611093 You can get down now. That was your raise. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250113 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250113_mounted_4b50b5c7-94aa-46b6-8026-d1367cda6037.jpg?v=1571611093 It draws attention away from your face. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250114 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250114_mounted_d781a4c6-7f78-4797-a1ae-286b926b45aa.jpg?v=1571611093 Runs good. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250115 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250115_mounted_73283408-f5a5-4b52-860a-f41427b08fd7.jpg?v=1571611093 What’s the number for Dial-a-Prayer? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250116 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250116_mounted_a12c7851-9a08-4063-b839-dd971b3eef31.jpg?v=1571611093 You wouldn’t believe the dream I just had. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250117 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250117_mounted_46fe49c4-6313-481f-8875-a2a6c674461e.jpg?v=1571611094 She was doing her TV exercises and has been stuck there through three soap operas! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250118 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250118_mounted_23485a8a-d7b3-43f8-a43d-31472178f6e8.jpg?v=1571611094 This is your last chance. Turn that stereo down. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250120 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250120_mounted_69446f0c-9193-4043-9b97-b480c39a61af.jpg?v=1571611094 I remember when you could get a bag of groceries for 30 cents. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250121 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250121_mounted_50a0518f-7698-406f-b74e-cb1a43819e36.jpg?v=1571611094 Did you have to buy him such a big bucket? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250122 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250122_mounted_6777c868-15da-4b91-bbea-2e06681cfc72.jpg?v=1571611094 Your honor, my client pleads not guilty to the charge of tailgating. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250124 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250124_mounted_743edb74-0d17-41b6-aa21-5ec924c39bc4.jpg?v=1571611094 False alarm. Your wife had an inflamed gall-bladder. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250125 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250125_mounted_f57719b9-a9a1-4cb4-ac34-87fad245696e.jpg?v=1571611094 She went to see a hypnotist to lose weight and he put on 40 pounds. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250127 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250127_mounted_d87a2a76-b502-42bf-9b22-e0ad8f2815c3.jpg?v=1571611094 My new underwater watch has stopped! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250128 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250128_mounted_490dfd4f-fcdc-4f75-b016-2e0133b6d998.jpg?v=1571611094 Don’t you ever get nervous, living 50 floors up? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250129 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250129_mounted_4b278c19-4413-4710-9fbc-8b3f930f5371.jpg?v=1571611094 You never heard the expression, ‘take a seat’ before? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250130 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250130_mounted_21c73b6f-93ce-44de-822f-f1523306905d.jpg?v=1571611094 You’ll have to sit up. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250131 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250131_mounted_1f49fbc3-290b-4ec9-b272-28f81c930261.jpg?v=1571611094 D’you want ‘Outpatients’ or ‘Emergency’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250201 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250201_mounted_2b6933e6-bffc-4a07-9b75-52e4b4b5f925.jpg?v=1571611094 I want to report an unidentified flying omelette. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250203 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250203_mounted_f5191a1d-98a0-4786-8fc2-69b688a33885.jpg?v=1571611094 I used to pay her kid brother to stay in the same room with us! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250204 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250204_mounted_10fc69e2-0321-4ca3-b3e5-0dccb2b7b46c.jpg?v=1571611094 Surely you can go bowling with Harvey another night? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250205 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250205_mounted_593edac0-2b5e-41b5-aca8-0fd8a27ed971.jpg?v=1571611094 For the last time… over the wire fence is NOT a home run! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250207 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250207_mounted_55431eb7-fafc-4e73-a8f7-841b9af863fa.jpg?v=1571611094 It’s for you, Mildred. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250208 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250208_mounted_01a2b2fd-e888-42bc-8e76-be6b346941a2.jpg?v=1571611094 That’s 25 cents for the price list and a dollar for the coffee. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250210 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250210_mounted_2beb72a8-d520-4c2e-9e3e-a81acebb2239.jpg?v=1571611094 If you don’t keep quiet I’m gonna phone all your friends and tell them how old you really are. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250211 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250211_mounted_8870a5c2-d73e-45df-9437-5ed695bb8ffb.jpg?v=1571611094 This one lost the family fortune. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250212 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250212_mounted_6b84faab-5342-42b7-ae4e-801862ddaad1.jpg?v=1571611094 Whatever you do, don’t exercise. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250213 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250213_mounted_64ba70bc-ca99-47f0-b3f4-909bd9dad04d.jpg?v=1571611094 I’m sorry, Harold, but I’m not losing you on the subway during rush hour. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250214 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250214_mounted_9ece400b-1dd6-4561-8df8-32a690aa4854.jpg?v=1571611094 Is that the one who forgot his wedding anniversary? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250215 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250215_mounted_3cbdd737-e1d5-4b0a-959f-9d1d4d2f39f6.jpg?v=1571611094 They’ve sent for an expert on tropical diseases. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250217 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250217_mounted_1be30a09-5c9a-4403-8dad-d32435680c5e.jpg?v=1571611094 All right, all right… Hand over the seven bucks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250218 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250218_mounted_628ede39-56b3-4d39-a99f-b5edfa3609d3.jpg?v=1571611094 So I’m five minutes late with the supper. You don’t have to eat the plate. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250219 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250219_mounted_ffd0a65d-3355-4f66-a848-92e889f130af.jpg?v=1571611094 You shouldn’t carry all this cash. Why don’t you open an account? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250220 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250220_mounted_d0aad43a-ff85-4d9c-a6b0-5fc9e0095234.jpg?v=1571611094 Is it OK if I run out and stick a few coins in the old parking meter? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250221 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250221_mounted_143009f2-354c-44f8-9c5d-024a2d41596a.jpg?v=1571611094 Oh, no! Right over the old ladies home! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250222 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250222_mounted_573fdd95-429a-48c0-96ff-5aaddeb76d24.jpg?v=1571611095 Business is great but inflation is killing me. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250224 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250224_mounted_82ed8833-41fb-4f63-8e0e-1db7c80351a0.jpg?v=1571611095 How about, ‘Yummy yum, yummy yum, yummy gum gum gum’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250225 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250225_mounted_cd934da9-8fce-4be1-8197-957204d358fd.jpg?v=1571611095 The phone company wants to know if they should bill us daily. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250226 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250226_mounted_eceb3100-c582-4cfd-b2eb-ee7fa9dff7a4.jpg?v=1571611095 Did you ask about getting me a bigger room? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250227 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250227_mounted_f8094d98-4971-4ab9-8da6-8e1dad9e4291.jpg?v=1571611095 Yeah, well you’re not exactly an oil painting yourself first thing in the morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250228 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250228_mounted_1e1d2dab-fd3b-4ccb-9fee-2536ecbd6116.jpg?v=1571611095 As soon as we got married I realized two can live as cheaply as six. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250301 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250301_mounted_06e4b1b5-1f46-4812-b495-abbb1fba3fbe.jpg?v=1571611095 That was my mother on the phone. She said she hopes you’re feeling worse. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250303 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250303_mounted_a5ad2718-0831-4e26-a77c-148d03673eb2.jpg?v=1571611095 This one just says ‘Fold.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250304 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250304_mounted_5808f421-25c3-4b0b-9664-7d55509ac404.jpg?v=1571611095 Now don’t go running off ‘til I find out where we are. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250305 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250305_mounted_e232b94e-28c8-4758-8cad-f132305c8f97.jpg?v=1571611095 So you were three days into the mountains, then what happened? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250306 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250306_mounted_70230dec-01f5-4850-aea1-fe2e099ff61f.jpg?v=1571611095 Can we discuss salary first? My wife’s waiting to go shopping. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250307 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250307_mounted_1a1520e7-d362-4127-9b5e-6ae375425f22.jpg?v=1571611095 This won’t help your back, but it makes me feel great. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250308 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250308_mounted_883d6ae2-b349-4de7-a7ad-81d9bd286f25.jpg?v=1571611095 We just want hot wax. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250310 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250310_mounted_1af5e712-c50f-409b-8f37-9559db5ef3f3.jpg?v=1571611095 You can get up now. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250311 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250311_mounted_7f382e51-fee9-4400-ac7b-69b3eeb32a19.jpg?v=1571611095 They found your other ski. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250312 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250312_mounted_1b4df563-5d8e-4850-8a6e-8cd58500a490.jpg?v=1571611095 If you don’t mind, I prefer being referred to as ‘rear animal impersonator.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250313 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250313_mounted_7fd8c526-ee54-4fc8-84ac-b1f393ad9c74.jpg?v=1571611095 Surely you must know if you have health insurance… https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250314 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250314_mounted_611f30df-406d-498c-93f1-c25e48fbadd7.jpg?v=1571611095 Take that off Dad’s face. You’ve gotta get ready for school. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250315 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250315_mounted_3f8a9916-4560-47ee-bb8f-bfea66141615.jpg?v=1571611095 Don’t keep shouting ‘call the plumber.’ I’ve called the plumber. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250317 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250317_mounted_836b519c-6bd6-438f-a25f-4e914f3630d2.jpg?v=1571611095 Wotcha put in his drink Harry? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250318 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250318_mounted_50e58b6e-114d-48a7-822d-b6da00b608b3.jpg?v=1571611095 We’ve got to wait for the shock to wear off. He nearly drove off an 800-foot cliff. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250319 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250319_mounted_074de9f3-52cc-4a0f-94f5-4358cd80c03e.jpg?v=1571611095 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250320 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250320_mounted_a1a15d9f-732c-4e7a-9ec2-b6d5211196fc.jpg?v=1571611095 He’s looking for something for the woman who has nothing. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250321 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250321_mounted_c3489eb0-453f-487d-8cea-49fb0947c0ab.jpg?v=1571611096 Can I change channels? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250322 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250322_mounted_ba1cb149-d239-41ba-9e0a-d765bde66f42.jpg?v=1571611096 I told you never to get between Mother and a dessert trolley. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250324 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250324_mounted_52282748-c921-4c42-b1ce-ca87dc69bab4.jpg?v=1571611096 It’s very nice of your husband to drive us all to the airport. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250325 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250325_mounted_2c5b8035-709e-4fe2-be07-4ff2e6ba238c.jpg?v=1571611096 Only you would be stupid enough to park on the San Andreas fault! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250326 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250326_mounted_ab8f3ab2-33a7-4ebb-bf86-5485b7c279fd.jpg?v=1571611096 Just because it’s your turn to change his diaper! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250327 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250327_mounted_a69bb3e4-397d-4bf0-83a1-e6038f2cdc8b.jpg?v=1571611096 Ask him where he left his key to the safe-deposit box. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250328 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250328_mounted_8787c88c-7603-4bfb-97f2-49a9b21baf0d.jpg?v=1571611096 You’re supposed to let wine breathe. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250329 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250329_mounted_fc2c8369-e405-4da0-ba27-1ec9801cd3af.jpg?v=1571611096 Your wife’s cooking is not covered by the stove’s warranty. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250331 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250331_mounted_69f91e95-de86-4ba2-b16a-16ef8af0e405.jpg?v=1571611096 As you can see, your insurance doesn’t cover ‘family squabbles.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250401 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250401_mounted_15bfcad0-2094-4a2d-9314-cbf4bd651478.jpg?v=1571611096 I’ve quit my job at the bank. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250402 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250402_mounted_ac0cb059-add8-4026-86f0-51e1bd091c3a.jpg?v=1571611096 I’ve lost the use of my legs! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250403 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250403_mounted_960589db-3333-41e0-9b8b-79423b5013f5.jpg?v=1571611096 He keeps having nightmares about being hit by a ship. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250404 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250404_mounted_f0b08eff-af36-42d5-8d28-0edd962a6edb.jpg?v=1571611096 I taught him everything I know and he’s still stupid. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250405 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250405_mounted_680aa5d0-5f97-4d43-888a-c4fa173bcd20.jpg?v=1571611096 This guy wants to know if we deliver to Africa. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250407 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250407_mounted_ceb897aa-9e23-4afa-a508-bb84d5ee2a8f.jpg?v=1571611096 I don’t want to worry you, but the guy who delivered the pizza is your financial planner. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250408 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250408_mounted_e4a7cec5-0d7f-42cd-8e7f-afa4f214d541.jpg?v=1571611096 Why is this buffalo meat so expensive? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250409 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250409_mounted_4640e848-d724-42d7-b5ba-7ff840ff05e0.jpg?v=1571611096 I’ll need one other co-signer. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250410 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250410_mounted_3943300c-bcbe-4335-93dc-5b96fd2926a4.jpg?v=1571611096 Gentlemen, we have the first electric razor in a phone! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250411 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250411_mounted_75fec269-4454-434e-94cd-5ae6b1b2f9da.jpg?v=1571611096 Sure I’ve got a charge card! But I never leave home with it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250412 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250412_mounted_edc64f7a-fd52-40e3-948b-f344203401ac.jpg?v=1571611096 That’s not me, Dummy! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250414 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250414_mounted_e7a48c6c-1aec-41d2-b271-3f72151b9b3c.jpg?v=1571611096 I think he’s starting to like that one. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250415 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250415_mounted_d573b5cc-9db0-44f5-82f1-5d19f1d05ed7.jpg?v=1571611096 Touché. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250416 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250416_mounted_654fc9c6-bb2d-4d27-a260-6c9b7be677b2.jpg?v=1571611096 We handle electronics, sir. You need a blacksmith. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250417 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250417_mounted_f36a940f-c141-4092-9173-e37f138c7eae.jpg?v=1571611096 That was $19.80, wasn’t it? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250418 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250418_mounted_e2d7617d-1fce-4b02-b72c-9a8725d03d53.jpg?v=1571611096 They had baseball back then? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250419 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250419_mounted_e644523e-ecc4-489b-9975-98920ac3c3ad.jpg?v=1571611096 Can’t you hum something else? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250421 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250421_mounted_be9f53f3-2eec-4e8e-8490-e2e8be2d32ca.jpg?v=1571611096 This is the best I can do for ‘previous employment.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250422 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250422_mounted_47da8789-9da2-4d27-b663-7a6d7cdef965.jpg?v=1571611096 You never give up, do you! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250423 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250423_mounted_214bc41e-b637-4675-b76f-38df3129cc45.jpg?v=1571611096 If you run like the wind, you may just make it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250424 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250424_mounted_b864b904-5e71-477e-8859-87387f01c366.jpg?v=1571611097 How much do unemployed veterans usually tip? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250425 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250425_mounted_a1fad783-a51a-4d64-a418-1d3ca6932f14.jpg?v=1571611097 This reading lamp hasn’t uttered a word since I bought it! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250426 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250426_mounted_94ec5954-2802-4cbb-b1a6-62779b455f50.jpg?v=1571611097 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250428 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250428_mounted_d86d509a-c73b-4a31-b9df-da3d98b144f9.jpg?v=1571611097 Your stupid manager from work came over to see how you were so I told him to get lost. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250429 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250429_mounted_7fee223c-f024-4c2c-a903-6d5067bc4436.jpg?v=1571611097 Even if they have got it in your size, it’ll cost at least a hundred bucks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250430 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250430_mounted_8cefd35d-7186-42bc-b008-884a4e735000.jpg?v=1571611097 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250501 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250501_mounted_ea9fc89a-67bf-448e-b5e4-db4f4f0a2a88.jpg?v=1571611097 Your mother went jogging and got a ticket for ‘malicious damage’ to the sidewalk. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250502 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250502_mounted_570ec2ff-664f-41cb-8dd3-a2eccb63e99e.jpg?v=1571611097 Got any roller skates with airbags? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250503 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250503_mounted_c9569190-a653-4e4b-afaf-cc5824ea75a6.jpg?v=1571611097 There goes 20 bucks’ worth of fireworks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250505 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250505_mounted_5ce7860c-dc1b-453b-93e0-c363223f27f8.jpg?v=1571611097 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250506 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250506_mounted_0855d978-2841-43af-80d8-58f91e716a74.jpg?v=1571611097 Pull! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250507 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250507_mounted_ecefba2e-4979-422c-ac72-43b3e343938a.jpg?v=1571611097 The doctor said you had a 50-50 chance. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250508 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250508_mounted_dd6524a6-6a50-4936-879c-fd61953af5b5.jpg?v=1571611097 We named him ‘Uncle’ after my mom’s brother. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250509 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250509_mounted_3c68e8eb-f2cd-499a-8dc2-3a193d6aa7b3.jpg?v=1571611097 He’s not house-trained, but who cares? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250510 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250510_mounted_b25f3ff0-a8bc-4249-875f-7ef297154815.jpg?v=1571611097 It’s time we heard from the silent majority. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250512 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250512_mounted_f55c6fdc-b9ef-4cc0-8abd-74633ce0956c.jpg?v=1571611097 I’ll have to go and get my toolbox from the car. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250513 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250513_mounted_a6a98b58-1a82-4aaf-a032-26c9c805eb31.jpg?v=1571611097 I’ve decided to move you up the ladder. Get a bucket. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250514 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250514_mounted_d263297d-0b39-40d7-a670-610c31704b99.jpg?v=1571611097 What are you doing? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250515 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250515_mounted_845e4dd8-64a9-486d-bab8-fda651887895.jpg?v=1571611097 There’s never a bus when you want one. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250516 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250516_mounted_8189f8bd-1468-419c-aee3-8b264c53a98f.jpg?v=1571611097 They’ve decided it was a job-related accident. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250517 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250517_mounted_247d4117-0fbc-4939-8bc9-11f759e7e469.jpg?v=1571611097 I think you’re probably in a rut. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250519 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250519_mounted_b1f1256f-ffe9-43fc-af92-41e68984fdec.jpg?v=1571611097 I’ve done the best I can. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250520 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250520_mounted_c28056f7-748b-4e56-8079-fe1b6a9afdad.jpg?v=1571611097 We get a lot of foreign visitors. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250521 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250521_mounted_9fdc524a-0286-424b-971f-fb13a1a39235.jpg?v=1571611097 You know better than to make a bed like that, nurse. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250522 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250522_mounted_ca19b12a-31b1-42e3-8cf1-be07a59e9553.jpg?v=1571611097 Those two seem to be enjoying themselves. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250523 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250523_mounted_eb226d76-e476-4f16-9c54-021ad237b1b1.jpg?v=1571611097 Joyce, ask Mr. Dennison if he’s heard of a composer named Mozart. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250524 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250524_mounted_bbfaa85c-ddc1-4b8e-a559-f8c7c446b747.jpg?v=1571611097 Whaddya mean, ‘$1,000 a mile’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250526 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250526_mounted_d97f907e-3670-4d3e-8585-45c1949da2a4.jpg?v=1571611098 Grandpa’s bought an Afro wig. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250527 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250527_mounted_517b23c3-7ed3-49ee-8104-84fa4b5b709d.jpg?v=1571611098 If I don’t cure your amnesia you get double your money back. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250528 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250528_mounted_254b5279-f2b1-4110-b149-1f68d0ca70be.jpg?v=1571611098 If you’re that tired, why didn’t you stay at home? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250529 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250529_mounted_eef22a3c-3eba-4a0e-affe-a04a6da55824.jpg?v=1571611098 My sister TOLD me you were no good. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250530 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250530_mounted_b4deb543-6ee5-4e85-b161-1c0870a235d5.jpg?v=1571611098 Now where’s he going with a screwdriver? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250531 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250531_mounted_fac98907-31ce-41d0-aa9b-ff2faff87624.jpg?v=1571611098 I got them both during mating season. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250602 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250602_mounted_e37db0be-41b5-4796-b6f8-9fcffec998d1.jpg?v=1571611098 He was born on the second and third of December. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250603 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250603_mounted_30358140-adc1-4b29-91e6-6fee77056bf3.jpg?v=1571611098 I told you it didn’t smell. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250604 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250604_mounted_c050e7a1-b48c-4298-9487-b3ee7f6afd1d.jpg?v=1571611098 I hear you’re not completely satisfied with your semi-private accomodation. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250605 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250605_mounted_6199a10b-9065-499d-904c-8a6fd0ee2aa5.jpg?v=1571611098 Ralphy… what did you use to get that new glue off your finger? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250606 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250606_mounted_b3b5f2e4-ab3c-49ae-8f18-e707dd6fdadc.jpg?v=1571611098 Imagine you’ve got 12 of these babies and a burglar breaks in. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250607 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250607_mounted_bf91829a-7709-4903-ba61-59e62ee085e1.jpg?v=1571611098 Well I guess we can kiss a promising radio career goodbye. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250609 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250609_mounted_496d5583-b657-4e26-862a-a8f16d05a41c.jpg?v=1571611098 Just a little exploratory surgery. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250610 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250610_mounted_b49b3b3c-61fb-4b08-b6f8-2221fbff5ef6.jpg?v=1571611098 I’ll do your gallstones and your wife’s broken pelvis for your left kidney. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250611 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250611_mounted_971c81f1-c6ee-4aca-8de5-58bc6f93a061.jpg?v=1571611098 She had to come straight from work. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250612 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250612_mounted_1577f112-a96f-4fad-8a6e-4047d1a56698.jpg?v=1571611098 Found New Zealand yet, Benson? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250613 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250613_mounted_fdf7deb2-dbf3-4dad-8995-1ec137cdfad5.jpg?v=1571611098 That dog’s driving me nuts! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250616 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250616_mounted_f6de4d23-5435-4469-8016-aab5190d6618.jpg?v=1571611098 The zoo has decided not to press charges. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250617 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250617_mounted_ddf9171d-422e-447b-bb6d-ad91f3a85abb.jpg?v=1571611098 That is not the way to pass the potatoes! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250618 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250618_mounted_cd5b31c6-dedc-4002-817e-4c7122b2c68c.jpg?v=1571611098 You can stop waving goodbye. I’m staying! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250619 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250619_mounted_e317ffbd-f41a-4e06-8750-96960e5fbe45.jpg?v=1571611098 I just can’t believe I’m gonna look like you when I’m 35. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250620 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250620_mounted_e5234d7d-524b-4d31-96e3-e1dae40af1dd.jpg?v=1571611098 Don’t blame me! I told you to put it in the trunk. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250621 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250621_mounted_852aeca2-46ac-43d8-8f8d-10cef0c37c99.jpg?v=1571611098 He likes to get a good run at the mailman. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250623 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250623_mounted_e5211615-066a-42bc-b133-36790f9dfe47.jpg?v=1571611098 We had to put a steel plate in your leg. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250624 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250624_mounted_d891cfc7-456b-4062-bbf1-8b7893256ced.jpg?v=1571611098 I’ve been going to those adult education classes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250625 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250625_mounted_91d99103-8eba-490b-be0b-214a16bd6abd.jpg?v=1571611098 I had a full head of leaves when I was your age https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250626 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250626_mounted_18223be2-86c2-43c6-915f-8b1de1c2dd28.jpg?v=1571611098 If you buy the bike, I’ll throw in the parking meter. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250627 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250627_mounted_796fe5ef-a1f1-4966-9cf4-ea59822b9356.jpg?v=1571611098 What did you buy that for? You can’t even ride a bicycle! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250628 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250628_mounted_e91f8649-6a68-4201-9bce-9a8a1038bf69.jpg?v=1571611099 Just give them enough food for one. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250630 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250630_mounted_db508471-4670-4c92-be2a-97920c7f1bdb.jpg?v=1571611099 I can start work Monday if I don’t win the lottery. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250701 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250701_mounted_e96f0544-38a7-4917-99b3-d8ebdc719df8.jpg?v=1571611099 Don’t go in the kitchen. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250702 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250702_mounted_4ad439f3-111f-433c-88a0-a98730232279.jpg?v=1571611099 I use this one when it’s raining. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250703 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250703_mounted_e764cdd8-24b2-47a0-aa48-811c2219473d.jpg?v=1571611099 He’s not allowed out so I bought him a trampoline. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250704 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250704_mounted_6e8f0626-11c0-4db6-b4c2-428b9615f55c.jpg?v=1571611099 Don’t light that in here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250705 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250705_mounted_6a171842-718d-41f3-bf96-04be17070c53.jpg?v=1571611099 You’re letting this weight-loss thing become an obsession. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250707 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250707_mounted_57a12416-eaa2-455d-ad44-8100cc4c3c7e.jpg?v=1571611099 Of course I love you, Alistair. I want to have your great-grandchildren. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250708 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250708_mounted_7233ef39-751d-4328-ad2a-d71ea44ee55b.jpg?v=1571611099 You can’t claim a world record unless it sticks in the grass. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250709 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250709_mounted_29ebb943-86a7-475d-9dcc-347500e9c2b8.jpg?v=1571611099 You’re getting your knocks early, Ralphy… your car’s being recalled. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250710 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250710_mounted_258d579b-bc08-4270-830b-6e4704f6710e.jpg?v=1571611099 He won’t got out with anyone except my wife. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250711 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250711_mounted_685b3bf3-1414-4607-ade3-19c11748b2d6.jpg?v=1571611099 Don’t keep ducking. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250712 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250712_mounted_ec9d15cd-2b35-418e-b1ce-66cf1fc795c4.jpg?v=1571611099 What do you mean he’ll need a tie to get in? This is my wife! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250714 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250714_mounted_6144aa01-46a3-48e6-b498-ba1a1290add4.jpg?v=1571611099 It must have been in the bag of bananas. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250715 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250715_mounted_d589f730-5edf-4be1-914a-e529cbdac733.jpg?v=1571611099 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250716 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250716_mounted_ff051ce5-0dca-4cb4-af33-69c62e5c8cb6.jpg?v=1571611099 It’s happy hour. You get two mushroom soups. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250717 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250717_mounted_025a3a04-c648-4788-91a0-a99fa6f3a7cf.jpg?v=1571611099 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250718 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250718_mounted_ddc81978-eb1b-4ae0-8e6e-f880b62d8ced.jpg?v=1571611099 As soon as he starts snoring, slap it on. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250719 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250719_mounted_d064c728-1099-4525-bd3d-cf43f7b60fba.jpg?v=1571611099 First weekend off in 10 years and she wants to go canoeing! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250721 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250721_mounted_5d44bd7f-8041-41da-9901-a7924e7bb5ff.jpg?v=1571611099 Sure, come over to dinner one evening. You can have mine. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250722 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250722_mounted_710dfa57-4acd-4316-adff-0ed79e6d68f5.jpg?v=1571611099 This one was driven by a little old lady and her nephew. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250723 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250723_mounted_8a5f312c-0d9d-4030-bc81-92ee8ab75cd5.jpg?v=1571611099 I know it’s a dog license! He was driving. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250724 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250724_mounted_b8dddba7-c404-47cb-b6a1-157fa890552a.jpg?v=1571611099 We used to fight when we were young. We grew out of it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250725 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250725_mounted_58216cde-2046-4be9-9ae1-0f1fbcb9f415.jpg?v=1571611099 Come along, dear. Daddy’s not supposed to go home today. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250726 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250726_mounted_bafee2d5-da30-454d-89c8-cbfdbcee0b42.jpg?v=1571611099 I brought your slippers. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250728 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250728_mounted_26d85b7a-cadf-4ec1-9a7f-49fb8af3dab9.jpg?v=1571611100 The nurse says you’re having trouble getting out of bed. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250729 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250729_mounted_9a733498-00c1-40c1-8ec7-475a46507965.jpg?v=1571611100 I’ve got two chances at it this year. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250730 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250730_mounted_e8b3e410-621e-4382-9f0a-a7dc4036a4b0.jpg?v=1571611100 He sure looks forward to your weekly visits. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250731 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250731_mounted_80638651-7171-4325-af7f-15677925828b.jpg?v=1571611100 Just the one suitcase. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250801 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250801_mounted_ae5b6a90-829a-4d04-afd4-474042cc2bac.jpg?v=1571611100 Simpkins, how many times have I told you about using the office paper-shredder to make cole slaw? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250802 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250802_mounted_02671542-f334-4abc-bbf0-4ac40551214e.jpg?v=1571611100 If they don’t eat leftovers they’ll have to go back to the store. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250804 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250804_mounted_7286dc78-29bf-4b98-9149-89fd5e556d7e.jpg?v=1571611100 The stopped working, so I put antifreeze in the milk. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250805 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250805_mounted_d223d52e-f33a-4b7d-a05a-8bca76ad502e.jpg?v=1571611100 Quick, get a rope. Your brother Reggie’s at the front door. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250806 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250806_mounted_defaabf3-5ef6-4c46-871e-3d5bd42b8862.jpg?v=1571611100 Now don’t you start that sales resistance stuff. I’ve had a rough day. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250807 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250807_mounted_30bf0233-b9de-4943-afb6-a2959947c95e.jpg?v=1571611100 This is my nephew, Eric. He wants to borrow that $100 you still owe me. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250808 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250808_mounted_90f177af-b8e5-4966-9b0f-b05d24a90427.jpg?v=1571611100 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250809 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250809_mounted_2c52b19b-e57d-4aff-8d5f-73ab62b7458a.jpg?v=1571611100 I’m telling you for the last time, I don’t wanna go to a disco. I’m going to bed. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250811 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250811_mounted_cf2f4fb5-161c-4e7d-b776-58bcb9bab8d1.jpg?v=1571611100 I’ve lost the use of my left arm. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250812 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250812_mounted_dceebfd4-a520-4052-90b5-841cd5d8bba5.jpg?v=1571611100 I wanted to get you a gift you deserved, but they didn’t have anything cheaper! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250813 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250813_mounted_92f320fe-e2c3-440e-9699-0aba5fc9691f.jpg?v=1571611100 OK, let’s go. But take it easy on the stairs. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250814 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250814_mounted_628a20e0-4c53-49ac-b00a-96fc36cad8af.jpg?v=1571611100 What was that big crash in the kitchen? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250815 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250815_mounted_79a0e2f1-d91a-41c0-a675-1fb5c2fdfa0a.jpg?v=1571611100 I’m sorry, Harold, but you shouldn’t have crept up behind me like that. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250816 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250816_mounted_0a461647-6e7f-4d73-ab99-f48e3b51bc31.jpg?v=1571611100 They shouldn’t be showing girls in bikinis when kids his age are watching! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250818 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250818_mounted_3f7c8489-f6b6-429e-be2e-106254006159.jpg?v=1571611100 The rear-view mirrors are my idea; just until your neck gets better. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250819 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250819_mounted_0965d9c8-500f-493c-b474-1c398d82f6b1.jpg?v=1571611100 I’d like to return this mink. My husband bought it for my birthday as a little joke. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250820 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250820_mounted_937fdec5-f38c-4d30-96eb-85de65086c60.jpg?v=1571611100 You look terrible but I can’t find anything wrong with you. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250821 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250821_mounted_2742b221-066e-4b01-baec-68916199566e.jpg?v=1571611100 That’s the sixth time the computer has matched you with your ex-wife. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250822 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250822_mounted_97cca599-7483-4fa4-aaed-77be8ccff6ef.jpg?v=1571611100 You should never use an electric blanket on a waterbed! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250823 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250823_mounted_77cc9c5d-66c5-4971-b7e9-f41e91d2fa3d.jpg?v=1571611100 Table for two near the band. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250825 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250825_mounted_881162f3-7c85-4f3c-a102-45269a27ef64.jpg?v=1571611100 You got a Superman T-shirt for a 32-inch chest? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250826 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250826_mounted_76b0e9fd-3a01-4705-8d09-b41bfab5e8b7.jpg?v=1571611100 Whatever you do, don’t open your mouth. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250827 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250827_mounted_4c6769a8-5ef8-4420-bfa9-2ca51c772673.jpg?v=1571611100 That quart of milk in the expires at midnight. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250828 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250828_mounted_6b681262-4606-4ad6-a836-4087f5794164.jpg?v=1571611100 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250829 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250829_mounted_d3e67f3e-7197-4a4d-8ee8-e0a3457af186.jpg?v=1571611100 I can’t move my head. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250830 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250830_mounted_21b54f0f-54a6-441f-9a06-8214816a4f2a.jpg?v=1571611101 All I can tell you is that it arrived from Africa this morning, and there’s something moving inside. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250901 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250901_mounted_37eade0b-cd85-4ce1-860b-53d0d94b8d2e.jpg?v=1571611101 The main thing with a horse is you’ve got to make sure he knows who’s the boss. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250902 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250902_mounted_61718ed7-7852-4f76-8671-35d9b107beab.jpg?v=1571611101 Business or pleasure? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250903 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250903_mounted_26543e4f-754c-4fab-a1ef-af40c41942a5.jpg?v=1571611101 Instead of taking me to an expensive dinner, can I have the money? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250904 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250904_mounted_68db938e-f3ba-4677-92a1-a1f66dc6ea3e.jpg?v=1571611101 Is this the guy who wouldn’t eat the soup? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250905 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250905_mounted_d87ca0ff-3e7a-4f7e-97f9-cb97b95c946b.jpg?v=1571611101 Do I look stupid? Of course you can marry my daughter. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250906 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250906_mounted_fc648864-11de-4c90-a132-9c987437f1c4.jpg?v=1571611101 We don’t waste anything here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250908 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250908_mounted_d1025a8a-75c1-4169-ab1b-eb7d17d40ad8.jpg?v=1571611101 I told him to meet me under the town clock. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250909 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250909_mounted_a24ac8a1-9511-435d-847c-6c1a0dee3461.jpg?v=1571611101 OK, let’s start from where I told you I needed a man who could use his head. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250910 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250910_mounted_555bf6e6-1201-4b82-908d-e1c36e109f4b.jpg?v=1571611101 Grandpa, did you buy those pants when you were a lot taller? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250911 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250911_mounted_1272975f-9b02-4eea-83a9-6216417458d6.jpg?v=1571611101 You’ve got normal blood pressure but no pulse. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250912 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250912_mounted_ac770bef-82d4-46e6-8799-94e141e64ceb.jpg?v=1571611101 You look just as bad as you did when you went in! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250913 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250913_mounted_4de3e33a-794a-43cb-aadf-ca8bf1cde007.jpg?v=1571611101 You fell off the operating table. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250915 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250915_mounted_410aa420-0a37-4b01-9332-5e572beb0a34.jpg?v=1571611101 What is he ever going to need to know about algebra? Stick to this country. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250916 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250916_mounted_14fec277-4142-447c-a260-cdd956267ef4.jpg?v=1571611101 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250917 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250917_mounted_0fb8b233-2d98-45bb-a917-810724e66621.jpg?v=1571611101 She coulda been Miss Universe on any other planet. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250918 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250918_mounted_c653d49c-0661-477d-8203-df0fd9f2faee.jpg?v=1571611101 Do you want an engagement ring or the $20? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250919 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250919_mounted_64891b8c-f7c4-4c0e-ab52-fa09a5710fe8.jpg?v=1571611101 That’s more like it – 127 pounds. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250920 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250920_mounted_5920c055-6f8e-4522-8309-dba5e0000d28.jpg?v=1571611101 If you touch that nerve again, I’m gonna teach you a new meaning for the word pain. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250922 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250922_mounted_d63d0efa-80b1-47b3-9254-68f672e8a70c.jpg?v=1571611101 What’s a good wine to take away the taste of this food? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250923 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250923_mounted_4a505d61-66ef-49b6-8981-1a74ef92f2a1.jpg?v=1571611101 This is my oldest son Ronnie’s first wife’s sister, Audrey. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250924 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250924_mounted_ef97808d-4139-466f-8f7c-4a7d6bd4af1a.jpg?v=1571611101 Are you trying to tell me that baby on the rug is not me? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250925 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250925_mounted_f11b486c-f9ed-4a06-8149-84e31ebb3230.jpg?v=1571611101 I don’t have any money. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250926 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250926_mounted_99f3f71d-d3ae-4962-9eef-20ae296d73d2.jpg?v=1571611101 I can’t read your writing! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250927 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250927_mounted_ed14b1dc-d098-44a5-b8d0-4715e525ad7a.jpg?v=1571611101 Oh no! Not your new golf shoes! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250929 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250929_mounted_67db3d9d-2a57-4420-ba59-132ca08ce3ae.jpg?v=1571611101 What are you up to? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250930 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250930_mounted_ba96d83d-9dfc-49f4-b9ca-2022515decde.jpg?v=1571611101 I know the tablecloth’s dirty. Don’t forget, this place has been open since 1963. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251001 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251001_mounted_f37bfa99-d266-4d74-ab55-875ea5936946.jpg?v=1571611102 If I pay this amount of taxes, I’ll qualify for tax exemption as a non-profit organization! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251002 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251002_mounted_b6e417be-9a89-4cfe-8c58-b727cfbdaf14.jpg?v=1571611102 He wants a pair of cymbals. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251003 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251003_mounted_df85974a-5dcd-49bb-a682-d76d2cb54fcb.jpg?v=1571611102 I think I got most of it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251004 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251004_mounted_3a3144a4-7811-43ee-beb7-621d3b15a2d1.jpg?v=1571611102 Isn’t Notre Dame an all-male college? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251006 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251006_mounted_afdac32f-0fa1-433d-afd6-12774ad878f3.jpg?v=1571611102 Did you say ‘one coffee and a banana?’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251007 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251007_mounted_c76ee219-616d-4e35-b4d0-0eecba5dedbc.jpg?v=1571611102 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251008 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251008_mounted_a7d45e1a-7986-429c-a6f8-5e38aabb5fae.jpg?v=1571611102 What have you got that’s suitable for a 3-year-old? It’s my husband’s birthday. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251009 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251009_mounted_d324a5a8-33e0-47df-af69-7c8fb0b30fd2.jpg?v=1571611102 You’re not gonna believe it — there’s an elephant coming. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251010 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251010_mounted_6499551a-caee-436b-be68-15121c391134.jpg?v=1571611102 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251011 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251011_mounted_9b12ec64-e0d4-4185-b399-c4935e126750.jpg?v=1571611102 He’s a long-haired terrier. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251013 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251013_mounted_ac438662-ab35-4104-a2cb-c4533e41891b.jpg?v=1571611102 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251014 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251014_mounted_06b96b38-b311-48ae-931a-b1ce7d9f0ae9.jpg?v=1571611102 Are you telling me your company expects you to sell cosmetics with a face like that? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251015 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251015_mounted_a3796fa5-a16c-4ecf-8aa1-78139000d5b3.jpg?v=1571611102 Why don’t I recommend a plastic surgeon to do something about that nose? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251016 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251016_mounted_6ce614df-3b4b-4b79-a885-fc6e42183d14.jpg?v=1571611102 It’s nothing to worry about, but I want you to wear this Medic-Alert helmet. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251017 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251017_mounted_e05fb49c-f3ae-4565-9db7-29c722c32d01.jpg?v=1571611102 He’s probably held up in traffic. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251018 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251018_mounted_22d7a8c7-45d9-40d5-95ee-0b19373766db.jpg?v=1571611102 Your teeth are in my jello! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251020 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251020_mounted_109356b4-1674-404a-aaa3-6bb2802c9c51.jpg?v=1571611102 It’s a Siberian mountain dog. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251021 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251021_mounted_7eadb88d-76bc-467a-a54f-052b5839fe28.jpg?v=1571611102 I told you not to drink all that coffee. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251022 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251022_mounted_6b181898-e98e-4d8f-8a5d-c7e7ca4b783c.jpg?v=1571611102 She’s gonna spend my $18 tax refund on a $400 coat. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251023 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251023_mounted_3a7975ce-6a93-426a-8a78-45bb21e2898d.jpg?v=1571611102 And when we come back, we’ll meet someone who clearly demonstrates that all men are NOT created equal. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251024 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251024_mounted_4bea6e20-6263-4701-baa4-1646437937cd.jpg?v=1571611102 They change the beds every day! I can never find mine! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251025 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251025_mounted_db0d3e0f-22be-43d5-b69b-52645fed4586.jpg?v=1571611102 He’s trying to hatch some duck eggs. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251027 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251027_mounted_351dca39-1e29-4913-873e-1c7597ce442b.jpg?v=1571611102 It’s no use. I can’t sleep with this wallpaper. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251028 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251028_mounted_13c3bcb7-44f7-4116-86c2-124fe579d050.jpg?v=1571611102 I’ll have to adjust the brushes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251029 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251029_mounted_960929dc-f3c9-43b8-a088-629dddb9de19.jpg?v=1571611103 I’ll meet you in an hour. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251030 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251030_mounted_686516dd-98d2-4cdd-873a-b16e5c04ecff.jpg?v=1571611103 Sitting Bull’s taken the saloon. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251031 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251031_mounted_0e6909f9-8965-41ee-82f5-94a2c79a483a.jpg?v=1571611103 He’s been driving 16 hours non-stop. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251101 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251101_mounted_22e8da61-956f-49de-9b03-dc261c63615a.jpg?v=1571611103 The mirror isn’t cracked; that’s the back of your head. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251103 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251103_mounted_468070a8-5aa4-4333-b17c-e0105d9bc4e1.jpg?v=1571611103 Mother asked me to get you to open this jar of pickles for her. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251104 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251104_mounted_7b7eae9f-f602-4491-905c-60d8b59c8c1f.jpg?v=1571611103 Excuse me, may I go ahead of you? I’m in rather a hurry. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251105 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251105_mounted_e1c1ae4c-1b92-469a-86e7-83ed151a75d3.jpg?v=1571611103 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251106 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251106_mounted_b6ec08f1-05dd-4124-a706-e7922ad376cb.jpg?v=1571611103 Just follow the blue line until you find your insurance card. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251107 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251107_mounted_dda9ce84-b510-4ebc-97c3-e627a57c0d0b.jpg?v=1571611103 Wake up, Dad. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251108 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251108_mounted_8d0ff95f-0145-4ac7-87e5-c38bbee1e071.jpg?v=1571611103 Has it really been 2 million years since Wall Street collapsed?! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251110 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251110_mounted_fd346330-8480-4e66-971c-ebe84e4ac5a2.jpg?v=1571611103 Nurse! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251111 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251111_mounted_c71fb7ef-b527-4276-9bd1-0908b6aa1f60.jpg?v=1571611103 He says fitness is a state of mind. So he sits there thinking about exercise. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251112 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251112_mounted_cea5b4ad-2fdd-4623-9ce5-c75b6797c30e.jpg?v=1571611103 I gave up all dreams of happiness when I agreed to marry Henry. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251113 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251113_mounted_b209f4ab-a75a-478b-b60b-606515398f9a.jpg?v=1571611103 Can you send someone over to fix the polygraph machine? All the pens have broken off. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251114 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251114_mounted_b7597828-b875-4617-86b3-909bab5877be.jpg?v=1571611103 It’s just till I fix the hole in our fence. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251115 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251115_mounted_a03107c7-20fd-44d0-a59a-80b7bba14f70.jpg?v=1571611103 Kids off school today, Charlie? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251117 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251117_mounted_a00b779b-436b-4d4b-b3a0-df38bdd68bcb.jpg?v=1571611103 You sure think you know a lot for a guy who grew up watching black and white TV! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251118 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251118_mounted_737c5ce8-9728-4a44-9b17-8c115fd3d2fa.jpg?v=1571611103 They didn’t have computer dating when we were young. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251119 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251119_mounted_a753ba13-e830-45c2-90e7-c288d7402cdb.jpg?v=1571611103 I’m tired of being an unknown artist. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251120 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251120_mounted_454a3b9f-e61f-436c-b0b4-fa292c3f9cd5.jpg?v=1571611104 I just asked you how the meat loaf was. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251121 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251121_mounted_69f72869-ccad-4ace-876f-51cd1bfa1bfa.jpg?v=1571611104 Wonderful! You woke up the baby. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251122 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251122_mounted_9d3fe74f-43d2-4b2b-bf0f-775fa996f84f.jpg?v=1571611104 That’s ‘ozone layer cake.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251124 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251124_mounted_e6d03163-4a32-483f-b618-344d5e709bd7.jpg?v=1571611104 That should clear the rug. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251125 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251125_mounted_75062e26-48ae-4e54-a015-f46822e21549.jpg?v=1571611104 You have been found guilty of forgery. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251126 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251126_mounted_4727e6fd-0ba1-442d-9f8f-cd381496c90c.jpg?v=1571611104 Exchanging beads for gold is a fantastic idea. We’ll go and get our beads. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251127 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251127_mounted_857e827b-bf13-4609-87e9-19777f364ab6.jpg?v=1571611104 I don’t think I can take that dripping tap in the kitchen for the next seven years. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251128 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251128_mounted_ab2ffd94-6e85-44fe-b430-10b158f9ba4b.jpg?v=1571611104 Have you ever thought about sending your lunch to an African village? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251129 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251129_mounted_b6be8429-2c6a-4f22-8d6d-ce6915996cc2.jpg?v=1571611104 My school report card is not going to help your ulcer. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251201 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251201_mounted_a4629adb-47d7-4e57-8abd-48c20e71f623.jpg?v=1571611104 It shot over there, under the stove! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251202 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251202_mounted_e9c95a63-1a77-44f9-a0df-8a3bd2956e5b.jpg?v=1571611104 Classic hay fever. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251203 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251203_mounted_3cd9d3e6-38db-42b8-9a38-69a982bf2cd6.jpg?v=1571611104 There must be other jobs besides being a bodyguard. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251204 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251204_mounted_0491bf35-d643-4a1d-abdc-558e5f1a419d.jpg?v=1571611104 She’s changed her nationality 14 times and still hasn’t won anything. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251205 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251205_mounted_2d7a7edf-1e56-4bc6-af6d-6fdd0853fcb3.jpg?v=1571611104 Nice to meet you. You must be ‘Linebacker.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251206 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251206_mounted_2844aa79-3c75-4905-9719-d02d8386769d.jpg?v=1571611104 HE SAID, IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251208 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251208_mounted_6faac35c-dad4-4545-bff2-c3d9bcf6b375.jpg?v=1571611104 I know I only started yesterday, but I need a couple of weeks off. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251209 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251209_mounted_b5e5b63f-a2d8-4026-80c0-debc02d90534.jpg?v=1571611104 Hey! How many of these sticks equals two tablespoons? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251210 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251210_mounted_4e6a80be-0cae-4825-a63d-c14c835b5a91.jpg?v=1571611104 I remember this place when it was a volcano. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251211 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251211_mounted_a4a0aca3-4f9c-4b91-8970-7c4dd0d5bd59.jpg?v=1571611104 I warned you about taking steroids with your low blood pressure. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251212 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251212_mounted_8e440ede-9100-4e58-9665-d6df49441158.jpg?v=1571611104 Mrs. Parker, most of this mail is for you. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251213 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251213_mounted_56eaa0fc-9050-49fd-962c-e3ba9f2af776.jpg?v=1571611104 I am an equal opportunity employer, so I’ve decided to give all the other employers an equal opportunity at your services. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251215 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251215_mounted_682921be-0393-4464-9982-8bc0276e978a.jpg?v=1571611104 This Beef Wellington tastes like rubber boots! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251216 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251216_mounted_512d607f-9b9c-4fb9-ba2c-3fedcfcece82.jpg?v=1571611104 I wish you wouldn’t keep doing that. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251217 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251217_mounted_37d75ba7-5dd3-44c8-aed5-06280e6e3422.jpg?v=1571611105 Don’t forget to take out the garbage. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251218 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251218_mounted_3191433d-520b-4eac-9d4e-649b47ee2814.jpg?v=1571611105 I thought so! He’s gonna have to come through the window. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251219 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251219_mounted_54a12e85-2a6e-488b-b34f-37d5234e99bf.jpg?v=1571611105 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251220 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251220_mounted_8f125d07-0f4f-419d-801c-0182ccfd9f85.jpg?v=1571611105 Mom, I’m going to bed now. Wake me up Christmas morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251222 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251222_mounted_937ce1d5-6d66-408d-b7b3-4fa94acc7509.jpg?v=1571611105 It’s an emergency. She’s gotta be at the hairdresser in three minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251224 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251224_mounted_9cf8ea10-3985-4228-84a9-5aab23a730fe.jpg?v=1571611105 It’s nothing to worry about. You just need to drink more water. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251225 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251225_mounted_0706eb09-7a43-4e3f-96cd-f70265840d43.jpg?v=1571611105 I said, ‘Merry Christmas, Your Lordship. You can’t take it with you.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251226 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251226_mounted_87bbcc05-7530-4c14-b2f7-7072b2b9b7a7.jpg?v=1571611105 She’s got that diamond ring stuck on her finger. Got an ax? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251227 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251227_mounted_4aadf81b-388c-43b2-86c5-d41ec23770b9.jpg?v=1571611105 Can my wife borrow your snow shovel? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251229 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251229_mounted_2f9b9779-2e68-4eb2-a799-39f71f93910f.jpg?v=1571611105 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251230 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251230_mounted_302a66c9-85a3-4380-824a-239137adca68.jpg?v=1571611105 We want two round-trip tickets to here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251231 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251231_mounted_b85fe933-1a86-4a74-bccf-acddfdbf4e73.jpg?v=1571611105 He doesn’t get THAT from his father. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260101 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260101_mounted_36812791-442e-4864-99ec-b95e477406ff.jpg?v=1571611105 We’d love to have you over for dinner, but we only have nine chairs. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260102 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260102_mounted_c4240f49-9779-4e37-8689-c433651cb774.jpg?v=1571611105 She needs a pair of backseat driving glasses. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260103 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260103_mounted_e30f689b-6e08-44f7-9660-0ffc739b77cf.jpg?v=1571611105 Not much on TV. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260105 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260105_mounted_afa9a18b-137d-49d5-b2f2-f5ad64f73f95.jpg?v=1571611105 The big ones are 15 years. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260106 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260106_mounted_9a434292-d791-4424-89a9-c4d64b46186b.jpg?v=1571611105 For crying out loud… it’s a mirror! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260107 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260107_mounted_a4670335-70a7-4b41-aeb1-e61482e37f21.jpg?v=1571611105 Got a pair of scissors? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260108 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260108_mounted_8488229b-410a-4b54-adae-bba196903d6e.jpg?v=1571611105 For a man with $38 in the bank, you sure spend a lot of time reading the financial page. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260109 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260109_mounted_78b8dd0d-1a4b-457c-9b14-9256773fde38.jpg?v=1571611105 I keep going hot and cold. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260110 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260110_mounted_7dd2bd1d-ee0f-4a61-bd7f-7a403e17765e.jpg?v=1571611106 I had a good job waiting for me on the outside, but they installed a burglar alarm. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260112 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260112_mounted_2bbaa4b5-bf1a-488d-b91d-3279b3616b32.jpg?v=1571611106 Don’t go through there, I’ve just painted the floor. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260113 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260113_mounted_3cccb144-9e50-41c3-a187-f95928209287.jpg?v=1571611106 I opened 13 dummy corporations – now I can’t find my money. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260114 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260114_mounted_2628d27d-4634-49bf-b997-5970ae6d0bbd.jpg?v=1571611106 They warned us in hairdressing college this day would come. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260115 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260115_mounted_b938b4eb-bd45-4a0c-ab2d-c4d8280eb457.jpg?v=1571611106 I think we should move to a better neighborhood. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260116 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260116_mounted_2e1bc5c2-ba2f-49c1-9c57-0a629ac16806.jpg?v=1571611106 The word on the street is that a guy named Hannibal is looking for a bunch of elephant trainers. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260117 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260117_mounted_7de79ac1-8b27-4b57-851a-5870bef2d79b.jpg?v=1571611106 This year I’m gonna finish off the basement! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260119 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260119_mounted_2c817710-0ab5-4b90-81cc-34d4ecdfb9db.jpg?v=1571611106 Your scalp’s very dry. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260120 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260120_mounted_d3fdefa7-4ea9-4f90-829d-ade9912e75e4.jpg?v=1571611106 Can I borrow your hedge trimmers for 18 years? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260121 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260121_mounted_9b8fc857-e310-4f4a-8443-0744f5edfac1.jpg?v=1571611106 Wait ’til you see his backhand. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260122 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260122_mounted_f09a09b1-8042-41a6-97d7-4a10caab401f.jpg?v=1571611106 My little TV’s not working! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260123 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260123_mounted_f43d0916-a6ad-47e4-aad2-35f03485e406.jpg?v=1571611106 Herman, I want you to know there's nothing personal in this! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260124 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260124_mounted_4d868a01-13bd-421a-a24b-b01ded7f6eb2.jpg?v=1571611106 D’you want slaw with the jelly donut? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260126 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260126_mounted_16d6f007-94bb-46a1-99e3-673e69e48ea0.jpg?v=1571611106 They finally gave me the key to the executive washroom. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260127 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260127_mounted_88562a73-25a4-4a40-8561-b1d792c6decf.jpg?v=1571611106 Don’t tell me this is hurting you more than it’s hurting me. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260128 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260128_mounted_7a86c503-c1b5-405c-8737-d1e49df86fff.jpg?v=1571611106 Smoking or non-smoking? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260129 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260129_mounted_08c3dd2f-b368-4331-be93-6e65664d322f.jpg?v=1571611106 I can’t remember which one of these is fish and chips and which one is liver and onions. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260130 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260130_mounted_085e7628-e355-42d8-a647-29e5f5e50487.jpg?v=1571611106 Tachometer for an ’98 Ferrari. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260131 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260131_mounted_bd359ab3-52d9-4c65-ae3b-9d8eb24c34eb.jpg?v=1571611106 I’m perfectly capable of washing my face, Harold. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260202 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260202_mounted_1489a5c5-55b5-4ba0-8ec1-ef36feab73f8.jpg?v=1571611106 I told you what ‘park’ meant. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260203 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260203_mounted_e1b052dd-2397-4854-a242-e9e0317ff846.jpg?v=1571611106 I’ve been watching this quiz show for 15 years, and I’ve never once answered a question correctly. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260204 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260204_mounted_3be6e0cc-befe-4614-93a7-740b236a889c.jpg?v=1571611106 We’re under new management. ’Soup of the day’ is a mushroom omelet. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260205 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260205_mounted_214b1082-9e77-48bc-9914-710e13350bac.jpg?v=1571611106 His doctor told him to stay away from anything fatty. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260206 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260206_mounted_40448c33-3a7b-42bd-9b55-87d426e4dbba.jpg?v=1571611106 Now don’t worry about the noise this drill makes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260207 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260207_mounted_13a3d4f8-7153-48c1-a4aa-e864f58c9add.jpg?v=1571611106 I made it out of soap. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260209 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260209_mounted_192f098f-760a-4393-a1c5-882064f65293.jpg?v=1571611106 Hey Lily. You were in the army. What’s an ‘adjective’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260210 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260210_mounted_6c980c39-e144-4954-9484-2c44295a1315.jpg?v=1571611107 If you don’t leave me alone, I’ll call a mugger. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260211 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260211_mounted_a36e7aae-e3c0-468a-81c9-d12449df0498.jpg?v=1571611107 You’ll strain your eyes looking for a job like that! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260212 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260212_mounted_f0267dbf-4bde-471d-a40c-106f6d2ef684.jpg?v=1571611107 Wake up. I’m lost. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260213 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260213_mounted_762784db-647a-40b8-b4a2-4a60f442aa5b.jpg?v=1571611107 Ma’am, the Captain has requested you give him an advance warning should you wish to leave your seat during the flight. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260214 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260214_mounted_6579e733-2ae1-4246-93b7-d566e3a4bc68.jpg?v=1571611107 Which hospital did you stay at on your honeymoon? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260216 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260216_mounted_1331e469-8ed1-41fa-818d-2d8082f64524.jpg?v=1571611107 Put these oven mitts on. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260217 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260217_mounted_12cfde95-365e-4ff5-882c-679656a4f403.jpg?v=1571611107 His doctor told him to get some mountain air. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260218 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260218_mounted_c4a380ab-3583-44fd-af9d-7fa475431f91.jpg?v=1571611107 I put two eggs in this cake! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260219 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260219_mounted_51574706-a63a-49d0-9f91-ac8f8ee47471.jpg?v=1571611107 I don’t like to get personally involved. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260220 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260220_mounted_89bb1f90-231d-4063-b796-30f04b373be9.jpg?v=1571611107 We’ve been married for 27 years. How about time off for good behavior? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260221 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260221_mounted_08711147-7f73-4bbd-baea-149ccd4127cb.jpg?v=1571611107 How do you spell ‘Arthur’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260223 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260223_mounted_41500714-6d2d-4f4e-8de3-17b5b0e8c1f0.jpg?v=1571611107 I don’t care what I look like, I’m not getting mutilated by hair-rollers. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260224 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260224_mounted_28890ad1-442b-4f67-9065-c4a797acf894.jpg?v=1571611107 It’s not my fault we haven’t got your size! Try Camping Equipment on the third FLoor. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260225 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260225_mounted_8fcfa752-7484-425f-91db-71a84d7687aa.jpg?v=1571611107 It is an emergency! The potatoes are burning my head. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260226 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260226_mounted_ac3499b7-882e-4264-ab07-33caa6b02548.jpg?v=1571611107 Hand over your pacemaker. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260227 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260227_mounted_222a661f-8141-4a45-b553-944a392cab7f.jpg?v=1571611107 They’ve given you two more years for good behavior. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260228 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260228_mounted_8b65e2f5-b93c-4450-bcd2-1420d4645437.jpg?v=1571611107 All the people who had the ‘fish spaghetti’ for lunch want to check out. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260302 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260302_mounted_a4978720-cb39-4c70-ad27-b8a5f67260f1.jpg?v=1571611107 I thought I’d make them long to keep your knees warm. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260303 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260303_mounted_6d995185-2e0e-4b26-97fb-0c00ff6b52ac.jpg?v=1571611108 If you want a good runabout, buy this… It won’t start. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260304 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260304_mounted_3373ab9f-16d1-41e0-8f4c-b7329c4c70c3.jpg?v=1571611108 Have you ever been to Ralph’s Body Shop? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260305 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260305_mounted_7563f1d8-cfe3-4c7f-8600-ce715c221d53.jpg?v=1571611108 And another thing… I’m getting sick and tired of looking at the picture of Brad Pitt. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260306 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260306_mounted_aaa8886d-b062-4b57-85a7-84eeb78a9348.jpg?v=1571611108 We don’t want to confuse the public. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260307 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260307_mounted_769bed65-002d-4af8-a668-ef1dbbf9df35.jpg?v=1571611108 How many times have I told you not to put your feet on the table? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260309 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260309_mounted_f984d754-6a8d-48a3-a8aa-6b91640ac614.jpg?v=1571611108 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260310 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260310_mounted_e5a5d344-ab50-4866-b615-ea3270af15f1.jpg?v=1571611108 He says he’s invented a saltshaker that will never clog. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260311 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260311_mounted_9fbae131-715e-47da-b650-856654320c7c.jpg?v=1571611108 I hate chess! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260312 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260312_mounted_d42817aa-8fb1-4729-b4c6-9d4dd36057fc.jpg?v=1571611108 Mom, look, we made Grandad smile! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260313 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260313_mounted_26230bc0-9776-4994-8c6a-25f60d806c4c.jpg?v=1571611108 Good grief man! How does anyone swallow an electric toothbrush? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260314 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260314_mounted_520cfa96-cf98-4683-850b-f1b87624b20e.jpg?v=1571611108 He’s taking one of those correspondence courses to become a window dresser. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260316 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260316_mounted_c27bba4f-bcfa-4338-91d4-d464a37f8d91.jpg?v=1571611108 How many times have I told you about slamming that door! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260317 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260317_mounted_d9062ea2-3b61-48df-93b9-90d986e5286c.jpg?v=1571611108 We want something to match our carpet. What have you got with cigarette burns? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260318 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260318_mounted_a41d69c2-d5ac-440b-a315-1d4de88e8566.jpg?v=1571611108 Have you any that just died? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260319 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260319_mounted_a355691e-286a-45b7-a08b-f3c353381030.jpg?v=1571611108 Gimme twenty bucks. The good old days of five dollars a week allowance are over for you. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260320 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260320_mounted_30349e94-cb44-4ded-8bbc-aba81e0a5c4f.jpg?v=1571611108 Take him straight down to X-ray. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260321 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260321_mounted_791f8164-14d3-4431-ad52-1c8593e49d74.jpg?v=1571611108 Looks like ‘zebra’ finally made it onto the endangered list. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260323 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260323_mounted_a312cbab-e14b-49ca-98ea-ce8a262fb325.jpg?v=1571611108 One owner. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260324 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260324_mounted_a3b41e3c-ffc9-4dd1-910e-6040cde81d4c.jpg?v=1571611108 Your honor, he’s leading the witness. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260325 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260325_mounted_bb9da1fe-16a0-4a0d-b09a-b48eb15d2e36.jpg?v=1571611108 I take it you have the very best medical insurance. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260326 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260326_mounted_26091cec-ad33-416e-9148-318f3465a9d9.jpg?v=1571611108 I don’t keep bath crystals in the kitchen. This is Jello! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260327 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260327_mounted_e7fbb2ae-f674-4864-ab70-a594797fd306.jpg?v=1571611108 I’m not break-dancing! I hit my hand. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260328 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260328_mounted_c870f92e-252e-41e7-893c-e561dede7cc9.jpg?v=1571611109 Turn left at the light, and it’s the 79th street on the right. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260330 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260330_mounted_ca4cc24e-35a4-49e3-a8ad-9fc8fba5240b.jpg?v=1571611109 They don’t hear so good when they get old. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260331 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260331_mounted_924638c8-64bc-4cd7-a48a-72a73a165e4b.jpg?v=1571611109 I was laid off work yesterday. Wake me up in three weeks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260401 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260401_mounted_7c6a0569-9471-4c15-b345-e273b2e2bb07.jpg?v=1571611109 You call yourself ‘early man’? You’re three hours late! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260402 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260402_mounted_04f26488-34ca-4cd1-95b1-28d71b5d64c2.jpg?v=1571611109 He’s only buying me a dishwasher to save himself work. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260403 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260403_mounted_54371525-d171-48c9-b237-e338208bb3a6.jpg?v=1571611109 I didn’t say, ‘undress.’ I said ‘address.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260404 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260404_mounted_9c1c375e-9552-4766-8684-9675fb063704.jpg?v=1571611109 He says bullfighting is the only thing he’s good at. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260406 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260406_mounted_50719791-77c1-499d-99fa-0af3dde8aca8.jpg?v=1571611109 If we’re not related, d’you wanna go out Saturday night? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260407 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260407_mounted_3c3e52f4-9c5d-473f-8d11-e271d03bb03c.jpg?v=1571611109 I said, take the lock off! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260408 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260408_mounted_d0749523-eff5-4356-8bb2-b662932d1405.jpg?v=1571611109 Did those french fries taste like they’d been cooked in furniture polish? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260409 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260409_mounted_bb15e538-f5b4-4273-8290-8afbd845e789.jpg?v=1571611109 This our elephant trainer? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260410 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260410_mounted_c824a1db-f79e-44cc-80e0-3355f027f65b.jpg?v=1571611109 Say, aren’t you Harry Henderson and Pete Watson? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260411 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260411_mounted_59e40802-262c-4417-8a8e-14fc0aac9b2b.jpg?v=1571611109 You must be the notorious Captain Phillips. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260413 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260413_mounted_55ecab7a-d576-43bc-84af-4484f291fd27.jpg?v=1571611109 What is it this time? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260414 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260414_mounted_6d5988ea-ec42-4e31-a0ba-accbf6c63b32.jpg?v=1571611109 Got anything for vine-burn? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260415 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260415_mounted_0575e1e1-9a59-4e99-8ee2-743551aebcea.jpg?v=1571611109 Hey, Harry. Have a look through the down-stairs window and see if you can see her hiding behind the door. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260416 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260416_mounted_d4d0baed-a96e-4536-97e2-2d5e1ab4ef3b.jpg?v=1571611109 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260417 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260417_mounted_9416cd4c-c4bb-45eb-b44f-cc1f1155deca.jpg?v=1571611109 I can’t keep anything down. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260418 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260418_mounted_3dc65b26-e039-4024-86d1-4ac51ea368bb.jpg?v=1571611109 How much do I have in my account? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260420 2026-07-21T07:56:06-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260420_mounted_99ad1c74-4003-4d25-8209-51c6772e555f.jpg?v=1571611109 Two years is a long time to have jet lag.