https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260421 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260421_mounted_57851e67-a068-4030-a4bc-3f3e141c97df.jpg?v=1571611109 I know there’s more pleasure in giving. I like to suffer. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260422 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260422_mounted_f7450513-5a95-4336-81db-ac0e024a7b38.jpg?v=1571611109 One cola, no ice. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260423 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260423_mounted_c652b812-21c3-46a1-a86e-0e23d8f23384.jpg?v=1571611109 You’ve had a triple bypass. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260424 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260424_mounted_1d825d83-9cdf-4607-8335-4d78a6c826b7.jpg?v=1571611109 It says here, ‘Eat before last summer.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260425 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260425_mounted_75c34bbc-bda7-439a-9c02-42e182060e89.jpg?v=1571611110 Just a few more minutes because Daddy’s on the night shift. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260427 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260427_mounted_c204d624-bf78-4de1-8d1a-c5c065dcd89d.jpg?v=1571611110 Any idea where I left my razor? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260428 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260428_mounted_3e7bbd24-f0d2-49f9-9642-bd5298761204.jpg?v=1571611110 I’ll pass on the top letter and come back to it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260429 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260429_mounted_a656695d-6458-4ef8-bbf1-72bda42fd08d.jpg?v=1571611110 Most of them are for ballroom dancing. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260430 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260430_mounted_62cbdedd-3b30-4313-9bbc-96b0eb734964.jpg?v=1571611110 You get a company car after two years. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260501 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260501_mounted_961170cb-3667-4c31-970d-2e68bd43d6e5.jpg?v=1571611110 Whaddyer mean, ‘I’ll be late for work’? It’s six o’clock in the evening. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260502 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260502_mounted_fbab2243-f8b6-4bdf-b0b9-dfb8931861d2.jpg?v=1571611110 And don’t call me ‘Stone Age.’ I’m Bronze Age. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260504 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260504_mounted_ce4be98a-4c12-47a6-b050-db6a2cee25e9.jpg?v=1571611110 The guarantee ran out while you were on the phone. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260505 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260505_mounted_5795c69a-5def-4c75-bedc-f26ac7ed0333.jpg?v=1571611110 For what we are about to receive, thanks for nothing. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260506 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260506_mounted_afefe679-6ec8-46ba-b8e9-84ee7cad0bb6.jpg?v=1571611110 Get me a lawyer. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260507 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260507_mounted_97fc6570-623a-4f65-b441-26302c338241.jpg?v=1571611110 I heard you played by ear. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260508 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260508_mounted_3ae557da-f7e0-4a0d-b9b7-21b88129d00c.jpg?v=1571611110 You don’t want to infect all the other patients, do you? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260509 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260509_mounted_6e6174ba-5565-4fae-85c0-a7e716b3890e.jpg?v=1571611110 What do you want? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260511 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260511_mounted_2f70730e-3390-448e-a974-0b0bdd7dedb4.jpg?v=1571611110 My heart nearly stopped. I thought I was looking in a mirror. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260512 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260512_mounted_9b2a4bff-39bd-44fc-99c9-3e45d2eed0dc.jpg?v=1571611110 What would you do if you swore to keep a secret and it was driving you crazy? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260513 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260513_mounted_93ec0e4f-e997-4a33-a3c9-39e2acccf87d.jpg?v=1571611110 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260514 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260514_mounted_0274466f-cc55-4649-b9c3-71fb9db687ff.jpg?v=1571611110 Your doctor wants to marry me if you don’t make it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260515 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260515_mounted_6fdf4275-68e7-4553-8597-d650be8a8601.jpg?v=1571611110 E, C A B Z, M… https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260516 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260516_mounted_c53603f2-f6b1-41b3-88a6-4bf588bc1075.jpg?v=1571611110 Well, now we know what they meant when they said, ‘You can’t take it with you.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260518 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260518_mounted_5d950ec6-9c8d-4cc4-9bcf-31af9b0aa5da.jpg?v=1571611110 What did I tell you, the guy in the bow tie won. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260519 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260519_mounted_de8169dc-65dc-48e4-8d66-507a4a513247.jpg?v=1571611110 Want the inside done? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260520 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260520_mounted_6fa05d29-c745-48ba-af88-f1f2af1011b3.jpg?v=1571611110 We’re trained to ignore pain and suffering during coffee breaks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260521 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260521_mounted_464a2bc8-8c32-46ee-b68a-4f2305a40699.jpg?v=1571611110 You won’t get better odds than that anywhere else. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260522 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260522_mounted_3eca0d82-4831-4786-9356-3f6f913171ef.jpg?v=1571611110 The bride made her own cake. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260523 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260523_mounted_8d6149b5-6a5f-45ca-9ad4-a906e6dd6be4.jpg?v=1571611111 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260525 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260525_mounted_5d319c07-4749-4293-a646-09d3b22a40e5.jpg?v=1571611111 You know what they say, ‘Two can starve as cheaply as one.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260526 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260526_mounted_bb088dc1-33ec-470f-a28f-8fb3a8e0edc7.jpg?v=1571611111 Last time I was here you said I probably needed a cap. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260527 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260527_mounted_d0293326-c89f-494f-8050-513e3ea951ac.jpg?v=1571611111 Can you sign it for me? I didn’t bring my glasses. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260528 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260528_mounted_16ad7a37-60b7-4686-988a-13469dd926a6.jpg?v=1571611111 I love going out but the old misery always comes home and says he’s too tired. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260529 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260529_mounted_4be36ff0-0030-4dd9-9730-36153a9a772c.jpg?v=1571611111 I hope you’re not one of those people who have trouble swallowing pills. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260530 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260530_mounted_dd0509c7-b511-447a-8fcf-2564cd1e5fd8.jpg?v=1571611111 Don’t keep complaining about my mother. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260601 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260601_mounted_e2f81402-f519-4aec-a798-a796cebd3e22.jpg?v=1571611111 Try the next one. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260602 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260602_mounted_30cc1329-88a2-4e3b-9c5f-7a36746dd021.jpg?v=1571611111 This is our beginner’s model. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260603 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260603_mounted_88f34a71-4fca-48fb-8434-0883308d99b1.jpg?v=1571611111 My blankets keep sliding off. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260604 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260604_mounted_605f044d-1ad6-490c-b116-5525abe80e7f.jpg?v=1571611111 I can’t be any fairer than that… $1.5 million reduced to $25. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260605 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260605_mounted_3faaef44-ba50-4022-9dca-b7e198648cff.jpg?v=1571611111 It’s a blue 10-speed with the front wheel missing. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260606 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260606_mounted_db8a3b84-8c36-4344-8e85-e4e68221665a.jpg?v=1571611111 Don’t move. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260608 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260608_mounted_2301b77d-fe73-4c7b-9822-d17221a4959b.jpg?v=1571611111 D’you want your change or shares in the company? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260609 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260609_mounted_4c264fa4-1fec-41be-acf1-3534dad6bbbb.jpg?v=1571611111 I wouldn’t sell this piece of junk to my worst enemy. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260610 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260610_mounted_58078d5e-5eb0-4da6-b565-8ccf980a49a6.jpg?v=1571611111 That insurance salesman’s still out there! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260611 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260611_mounted_fae2c756-db27-4765-86f7-7e0246b0a4ec.jpg?v=1571611111 You can’t have the Soup of the Day until yesterday’s is all gone. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260612 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260612_mounted_08982692-d38e-4ba2-8da1-bc60251f25a6.jpg?v=1571611111 Since when does a migratory bird need a passport? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260613 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260613_mounted_fbce714e-082a-4a48-85bc-fec0e9cd9e51.jpg?v=1571611111 Is it OK if he has a chest X-ray? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260615 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260615_mounted_47a8e238-2454-4871-aa3b-bf99246b279a.jpg?v=1571611111 All your tests were negative… which is positive. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260616 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260616_mounted_58a95018-cb8c-4f0b-9b9c-b3e49c8970ac.jpg?v=1571611111 Hurry up. The tranquilizer’s wearing off. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260617 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260617_mounted_b4dbc752-5401-41c6-a323-71c18aaf64c6.jpg?v=1571611111 I asked that lawyer on the third floor what time he wanted me to clean his office and he sent me a bill for a consultation. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260618 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260618_mounted_f93d284e-533e-4c1d-a8aa-171089cacea2.jpg?v=1571611111 For the first week, I think you should leave 20 minutes apart. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260619 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260619_mounted_279d4aa0-d032-4cb8-aeb7-ed0cd7187f35.jpg?v=1571611111 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260620 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260620_mounted_51edbcb6-b48d-450d-839c-e53daec85d11.jpg?v=1571611111 He’s badgering the witness, your honor. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260622 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260622_mounted_d03eb772-2b4c-48ee-a70e-8f9a0d49ef5d.jpg?v=1571611112 She’d like the complete works of someone who didn’t write too much. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260623 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260623_mounted_4b32d5da-c948-46d1-ad4d-ff5b7f7e5206.jpg?v=1571611112 If you don’t like to see me begging in the street, give me a thousand bucks! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260624 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260624_mounted_72949aa6-7593-43f3-86a2-5f2714c95bba.jpg?v=1571611112 If you find a pork chop in your soup, it belongs to table nine. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260625 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260625_mounted_6334a04b-3cc9-47a3-aee3-e807c4ab48a3.jpg?v=1571611112 I just want to tell everyone that up until this moment, I’ve really enjoyed working here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260626 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260626_mounted_00e8a849-ed14-4408-a355-dc50f6a76084.jpg?v=1571611112 We’re dealing with a superb tactician, sir. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260627 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260627_mounted_de477647-4476-4c50-8273-075cb6770bf3.jpg?v=1571611112 I think she’s decided on the green hatchback across the street. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260629 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260629_mounted_c33d74d2-4c73-4b00-b07e-8b5be8533101.jpg?v=1571611112 I want to make sure these arrive in order. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260630 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260630_mounted_97c7525c-55fc-461f-8e75-a947f597a0b1.jpg?v=1571611112 Dad, lend me $5,000 and I promise I’ll clean my room for a whole week. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260702 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260702_mounted_5a4050f4-21a0-46e4-a03a-0b04ed3078f1.jpg?v=1571611112 I asked you what you wanted for lunch and you said, ‘Surprise me.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260703 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260703_mounted_4c3e9bb6-3163-42aa-a0b7-411ae7e0eefd.jpg?v=1571611112 Wine production is way up since we piped in dance hall music. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260704 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260704_mounted_8d9d34c4-8808-4fd1-9def-8bd05f8bcc3c.jpg?v=1571611112 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260706 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260706_mounted_2f19e234-c0ce-4c9d-94a9-7f7a46bf309b.jpg?v=1571611112 Are you steering? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260707 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260707_mounted_78d7ffda-77aa-43b7-bdf6-353833c0a481.jpg?v=1571611112 I prefer to work without supervision. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260708 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260708_mounted_7c6f5fc0-ff99-48eb-948d-073109e699d9.jpg?v=1571611112 You idiot! You threw away the keys to the washroom again! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260709 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260709_mounted_90994e59-6ef8-49be-9ded-22e14f17c2c5.jpg?v=1571611112 Quick… call a lawyer. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260710 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260710_mounted_c630dfda-5b10-4418-b6b0-fb45bab64212.jpg?v=1571611112 I need a tow to Chestnut Drive, Wilmont Avenue and Hill Street. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260711 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260711_mounted_747df61d-1ebb-4f29-8318-a5969214732b.jpg?v=1571611112 The kitchen sink is full of dishes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260713 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260713_mounted_41965820-46bd-4ec0-a2bd-fdd577eb5c51.jpg?v=1571611112 I’ll be wearing a pink carnation. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260714 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260714_mounted_4d2340d7-1267-4ebc-bb0b-b5dcf3a0b44c.jpg?v=1571611112 Helen, turn to channel 22, ‘World of Magic.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260715 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260715_mounted_5546361e-6e5d-437a-bf56-5d12a76e6981.jpg?v=1571611112 I’ve decided to take a personal interest in your career. You’re fired. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260716 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260716_mounted_711cd766-dc9e-40bf-a329-9c3270db2281.jpg?v=1571611112 I see you spent 20 years in the Army. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260717 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260717_mounted_80f0a0ed-1246-4515-b793-26f474e643a0.jpg?v=1571611112 Are you gonna listen or not? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260718 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260718_mounted_303cbe01-5830-486f-b432-16af03edfa23.jpg?v=1571611113 I’b spled, I’b spill ab de benpisp. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260720 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260720_mounted_e49fa3ce-da82-4382-aaf7-a3b5198fb8a5.jpg?v=1571611113 It’s so damp in our room, her wedding ring’s turned green! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260721 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260721_mounted_c0748d32-f6e2-4936-9555-89abcb8d9635.jpg?v=1571611113 That’s a photograph of my wife’s mother with the lens cap on. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260722 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260722_mounted_8045a082-e08c-486f-b472-7f9345258471.jpg?v=1571611113 I think it definitely makes a statement. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260723 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260723_mounted_47515700-7fd8-46aa-9c13-f5bda4b8c2d4.jpg?v=1571611113 He has trouble reading the menu. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260724 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260724_mounted_e22dfd61-39f8-4b6b-aea8-e40bc3540af9.jpg?v=1571611113 He’s 70 million years old tomorrow. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260725 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260725_mounted_45415f10-4511-4b2d-957b-c27da7479591.jpg?v=1571611113 That’s my wife’s lingerie. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260727 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260727_mounted_fd3e083a-b115-4762-a750-84db1bd7615a.jpg?v=1571611113 She’s been here over an hour and she still can’t decide. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260728 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260728_mounted_d3e21bcf-ff25-4002-96c3-c0212606711d.jpg?v=1571611113 Do you have to fertilize the lawn today? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260729 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260729_mounted_0350ca7d-8bde-4132-a6dd-2655be9752c4.jpg?v=1571611113 Not my right eye, your right eye. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260730 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260730_mounted_93a9d58a-29e6-46e7-8e74-3aa206df2bc5.jpg?v=1571611113 I told you I’d be a few minutes late. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260731 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260731_mounted_a345baca-a770-4b0b-91d9-540814b7d003.jpg?v=1571611113 He was never that popular in real life. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260801 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260801_mounted_fc9cf299-d1e0-4c6a-994b-268e9d196c4f.jpg?v=1571611113 I’m not gonna take any coffee breaks this week so I can have Friday off. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260803 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260803_mounted_77542430-45a1-4246-95ed-6b3af7dac767.jpg?v=1571611113 Dennis is a sweet sensitive guy, and if you don’t let us get married he’s gonna break both your legs. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260804 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260804_mounted_def43e51-efad-4414-a8d7-b034c9a0c52d.jpg?v=1571611113 No food or drinks. And just one trip to the bathroom. Have a nice flight. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260805 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260805_mounted_d89f4994-8982-4a26-a27e-5482031b7b87.jpg?v=1571611113 Sure you’ve got a choice! The top bunk or the floor. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260806 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260806_mounted_f8cc7385-f323-4eab-88a3-cf1089bc592f.jpg?v=1571611113 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260807 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260807_mounted_25577015-5469-4637-b4bc-32c86319957c.jpg?v=1571611113 I can’t sleep with all that crunching. If you must eat, take your teeth out. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260808 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260808_mounted_0a67373d-214f-41d7-89d2-9adb321bff10.jpg?v=1571611113 Where did you buy those boots? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260810 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260810_mounted_43ee88d5-790c-4272-ac3e-9c14aad3d7a7.jpg?v=1571611113 I’ll raise you $200. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260811 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260811_mounted_80d992d3-2dcf-4518-ae9b-15f40a046db7.jpg?v=1571611113 I would like to ask for your daughter’s handmaiden. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260812 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260812_mounted_42a4a85a-1c13-4cba-96cc-c71288ac0955.jpg?v=1571611113 Nothing your mother does surprises me anymore. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260813 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260813_mounted_b7104341-9c84-403f-8b87-3d401959c2db.jpg?v=1571611113 Personally, I think it helps the divorce if we leave both of them in there. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260814 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260814_mounted_1a458f2c-51f0-44e0-95cd-9aee9f08125f.jpg?v=1571611113 My wife doesn’t like me working late at the office. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260815 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260815_mounted_0658fedb-3fa5-48fb-a2c4-00f99291b07f.jpg?v=1571611113 Maurice, love is not blind enough to allow me to ignore that tie. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260817 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260817_mounted_1d53bc33-d482-4d70-9af2-b4264b794584.jpg?v=1571611113 It’s a romantic novel… pure escapism. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260818 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260818_mounted_b3948040-5216-4004-b32b-cef1d30071dd.jpg?v=1571611113 Forget a compact. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260819 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260819_mounted_1be93ebc-eb4e-4ce5-83f6-a6c5946a4ab4.jpg?v=1571611114 If you’re that worried about catching it, sleep in the KITCHEN. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260820 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260820_mounted_e7193f85-1a8a-4ce7-a3a0-e5771987e7bd.jpg?v=1571611114 You want to test both eyes, don’t you? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260821 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260821_mounted_cd9ba086-37b0-4d27-95a1-0b43be30ebfc.jpg?v=1571611114 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260822 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260822_mounted_830a1b70-0334-4644-9e41-e97914c03dc2.jpg?v=1571611114 You’re supposed to blow them out! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260824 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260824_mounted_a0ac751c-191d-449a-b636-535ab2bbfce8.jpg?v=1571611114 I told you to call an electrician. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260825 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260825_mounted_fd5e128e-9511-49a1-bb3f-b0401e0349cb.jpg?v=1571611114 There’s a bottle of wine on here that’s more than our mortgage payment! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260826 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260826_mounted_001ef525-4ce6-4f28-8280-b91a9d14cee1.jpg?v=1571611114 Mommy can’t see very well. D’you wanna swap seats? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260827 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260827_mounted_b07679a0-ed91-41e2-8818-bbfcaec054db.jpg?v=1571611114 Remember Ralphy, the moron? He’s making $1.2 million per year. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260828 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260828_mounted_6a723360-4d80-41fc-bf21-949ded89b8fe.jpg?v=1571611114 I’ve been elected to the Credit Card Hall of Fame. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260829 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260829_mounted_fdc5aa8f-8502-4d54-a892-498eec710fb0.jpg?v=1571611114 I told him he thinks too much. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260831 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260831_mounted_519bea2a-393a-4aa6-9afe-520933fca2a8.jpg?v=1571611114 I took it to the wrong apartment. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260901 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260901_mounted_84be3d96-2cf9-41fe-9825-0c941b00bc03.jpg?v=1571611114 You promise not to use the balcony. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260902 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260902_mounted_9670acf0-d9ae-4e93-be6d-6c25939dd9e2.jpg?v=1571611114 I found your birth certificate in the attic. You’re not 54, you’re 91. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260903 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260903_mounted_f87df634-c7ab-4e29-a4c2-f3376ca3a224.jpg?v=1571611114 Whaddyer mean ‘the oil’s only lukewarm’? They’ll be attacking in 10 minutes! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260904 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260904_mounted_f177a8a4-95f6-49d0-b052-3c0f7343c80c.jpg?v=1571611114 Grandma, can we borrow these to make a tent? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260905 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260905_mounted_ded3e2d2-600d-459b-b3c3-3b3a1efa2d63.jpg?v=1571611114 Apart from the words ‘orange-flavored’, the rest is in Latin. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260907 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260907_mounted_ad6edebc-4687-444d-8a74-0974b3105e6a.jpg?v=1571611114 I think you’d better stay at work for a few days. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260908 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260908_mounted_5c8e7b11-c3c7-4044-a2e4-9894d1bce3cd.jpg?v=1571611114 He’s terrible at making decisions. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260909 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260909_mounted_e971cb66-e64c-483f-8cae-577c172d41ed.jpg?v=1571611114 Do you sell wedding cakes by the slice. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260910 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260910_mounted_55f1a15a-c9e5-4b46-acf1-1c150075722d.jpg?v=1571611114 I don’t trust those new-fangled battery-powered pacemakers. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260911 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260911_mounted_03859dea-122d-49fa-aa10-e76a72278c23.jpg?v=1571611114 EAR, NOSE and THROAT! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260912 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260912_mounted_3a575244-a49c-4363-a329-689c12ff6706.jpg?v=1571611114 I take it we’re turning right. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260914 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260914_mounted_eebd43e1-326a-41b0-8d2c-de519ce0cf75.jpg?v=1571611114 If she takes that one, I’ll pay for it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260915 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260915_mounted_f202f4e3-8aea-4ec7-8efb-96553aa298c3.jpg?v=1571611114 This is my new boyfriend. Can he have something to eat? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260916 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260916_mounted_0bea8365-b74b-41a0-818b-2fa181cdb98b.jpg?v=1571611114 I think I’ll try my birthday again. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260917 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260917_mounted_b9e8f8a0-e728-46cf-bb93-9ace3a6780a8.jpg?v=1571611114 Just keep going left. If I’m not here when you get back, ask someone else. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260918 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260918_mounted_9ec48125-108b-405e-8a82-71d7b7b18a61.jpg?v=1571611114 I’m trying to get enough for a lottery ticket. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260919 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260919_mounted_7f3ce7e0-e419-4268-8963-2cf6c9fb03b9.jpg?v=1571611115 You’re still cornering too fast. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260921 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260921_mounted_8de226ef-225e-4459-b970-cd2f9bc35ae0.jpg?v=1571611115 We honeymooned aboard his 7-foot canoe. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260922 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260922_mounted_33eff0c3-5ceb-4cc3-8ab6-2d99eca6cae0.jpg?v=1571611115 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260923 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260923_mounted_48015f6e-fe42-44d2-8db8-8a9bdeac00e3.jpg?v=1571611115 He loves a cup of tea. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260924 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260924_mounted_501edb72-5916-4af8-bac2-c6278fbf568c.jpg?v=1571611115 He’s an exchange student. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260925 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260925_mounted_aed6895e-1b80-41ee-8656-e4002900ec01.jpg?v=1571611115 Have you been out of the country for more than 24 hours? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260926 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260926_mounted_01c73a29-cba7-439b-aa16-57a085c5ba0f.jpg?v=1571611116 Close that door! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260928 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260928_mounted_8b42f364-78fe-4cdd-8db5-747cf828f22a.jpg?v=1571611116 I can’t remember! Is the appendix on the left or on the right? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260929 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260929_mounted_b2f63051-a836-48b8-a05c-161468245c92.jpg?v=1571611116 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260930 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260930_mounted_7216f599-4182-4e66-9268-ec2f7e213fdf.jpg?v=1571611116 Boo-oo-oo-ots. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261001 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261001_mounted_240bf41e-dab6-43f0-88b1-1c9e17ff9142.jpg?v=1571611116 Anyone sitting here? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261002 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261002_mounted_7e3532ef-dace-4f9f-a7dc-e27d6780b341.jpg?v=1571611116 Table for one near someone having sausages. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261003 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261003_mounted_dfe140bd-2632-4fcd-bfac-61c733e0d31f.jpg?v=1571611116 I have three jacks. Shall we risk Arizona? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261005 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261005_mounted_1dd0316a-1360-4af1-a524-fc09e9399737.jpg?v=1571611116 The doctor says you’ll still be able to play the piano. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261006 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261006_mounted_245291a2-7841-434f-a8c1-bc49feca54d0.jpg?v=1571611116 Would I have worn this hat if I was gonna smuggle? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261007 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261007_mounted_5a384273-0f01-4fb9-a621-18c66c0b33e4.jpg?v=1571611116 I don’t care if you are sick, you can’t sit there looking like that all day. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261008 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261008_mounted_9a024ee0-4d40-40c7-91e3-3a82102925c0.jpg?v=1571611116 Doc, can you give me something to make me feel a bit more energetic? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261009 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261009_mounted_4ce04237-5663-4060-8943-fbc0a51037dc.jpg?v=1571611116 It’s $500, but that includes a month’s supply of breath mints. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261010 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261010_mounted_3ad94108-21d3-4fc9-8013-e16cf614e218.jpg?v=1571611116 Do you want me to close the window? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261012 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261012_mounted_6a7dae68-741e-498e-b29c-685b24e6ee53.jpg?v=1571611116 She just had her physical. The doctor says she’s as fit as a double bass. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261013 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261013_mounted_b69e62e8-7787-4fbc-adb2-27e09ef2f2fe.jpg?v=1571611116 I’m just having a look at your brain X-ray. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261014 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261014_mounted_238eefd0-c7d2-43fc-b442-5b6a58fdd32f.jpg?v=1571611116 Show me what to press if I want to record a movie after I’ve gone to bed. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261015 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261015_mounted_103a50a1-ac19-4e36-8381-093fddc03d11.jpg?v=1571611116 We’re looking for someone honest, hardworking and totally devoid of ambition. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261016 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261016_mounted_05e61c1e-f7c2-4430-84d8-bc1d5bd6389e.jpg?v=1571611116 That’s not the Catch of the Day, is it? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261017 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261017_mounted_62ed506e-5b02-44e0-98d9-763fa8f6ae6d.jpg?v=1571611116 Wouldn’t I get faster service if I slept in your room? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261019 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261019_mounted_20b4662f-a9d7-4d5c-85db-a90e64930bc8.jpg?v=1571611116 He says he’s been swimming around in circles for three days. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261020 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261020_mounted_eb865863-eae9-4f7b-a8b1-0ce893d57d37.jpg?v=1571611116 If I give myself up, do I get to keep the money? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261021 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261021_mounted_b2538ded-1dd1-4700-9455-d9a658251f21.jpg?v=1571611116 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261023 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261023_mounted_43c4b2b5-c48e-4227-831c-7e72b1cca389.jpg?v=1571611116 It wasn’t gallstones! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261024 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261024_mounted_f02286dc-bcd6-4154-9924-b8fb355d6f9d.jpg?v=1571611117 It’s recycled imitation rabbit, designed and hand-sewn by disabled widows on fixed incomes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261026 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261026_mounted_44226af4-3d6c-48c8-bff2-6c1e08337491.jpg?v=1571611117 And another thing. Because he has to be at work by 5 a.m., I get stuck with all the breakfast dishes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261027 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261027_mounted_209bed2e-fca5-40a1-a153-30f42854422d.jpg?v=1571611117 I guess things have changed since I was at school, Headmaster! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261028 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261028_mounted_0f7f7cf5-30d7-49b8-b433-bda8fb441ee9.jpg?v=1571611117 They let us wear our own clothes on weekends. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261029 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261029_mounted_b6502bb9-a0ee-4d7d-90d6-744dc2fd4f9d.jpg?v=1571611117 How many times do I have to tell you to work the other way? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261030 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261030_mounted_62715d59-83e4-448d-b1f4-17c92c25727f.jpg?v=1571611117 Catch of the day from the wine cellar, Francine. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261031 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261031_mounted_7e45db43-196f-4432-98f1-5a76fc347903.jpg?v=1571611117 You’re being released. Be ready to leave in 30 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261102 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261102_mounted_139959c1-3399-481e-a6ee-4f64c4346164.jpg?v=1571611117 If I can’t spell it, how can I look it up in the dictionary? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261103 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261103_mounted_1aeaec30-2318-4e04-87c6-6780f4bee6cc.jpg?v=1571611117 I need both hands for turning. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261104 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261104_mounted_bdf1c32e-6498-4fef-b0f9-a8f9be549fb5.jpg?v=1571611117 My doctor told me to take a cruise and relax. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261105 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261105_mounted_e42267ce-24eb-47e9-8431-3a61cc9d55c1.jpg?v=1571611117 We’ve agreed on an out-of-court settlement until we can each afford a lawyer. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261106 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261106_mounted_b083ac8c-17e6-4bb2-a1da-6fd54e46415f.jpg?v=1571611117 Herman, couldn’t you fill up the car BEFORE getting dressed up as Lawrence of Arabia? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261107 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261107_mounted_8d267ed3-70a6-46a2-b968-9457854c6d29.jpg?v=1571611117 Why don’t you listen. I said you need a chiropractor not choir practice! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261109 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261109_mounted_48a8e976-8f8b-4800-8437-fa0cb3cde8bd.jpg?v=1571611117 How often do you find a basement apartment with a balcony? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261110 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261110_mounted_bc188969-c8e3-49c7-bf48-642ae43dd969.jpg?v=1571611117 D’you mind if I sit on that side? I’m deaf in my right ear. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261111 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261111_mounted_03793d41-22e6-464c-ae99-2ca3115d3583.jpg?v=1571611117 I was practicing my karate and she hit me with half a brick. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261112 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261112_mounted_4188a8ed-ce16-40fd-a456-43987610b7ae.jpg?v=1571611117 I’ve got her finger size in this peanut butter. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261113 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261113_mounted_41fffac8-f7a1-4574-8ef1-b06f686ce1fc.jpg?v=1571611117 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261114 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261114_mounted_e2b3056c-b44a-4c9c-b6ad-0b3b61d071a0.jpg?v=1571611117 I made you a nice fruitcake, but the guard said it could be used as an offensive weapon. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261116 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261116_mounted_0b799d76-6153-4094-a098-696a8a00473f.jpg?v=1571611117 We the jury find the defendant not guilty by reason of insanity. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261117 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261117_mounted_829fe765-d4c8-4b52-b239-94b92513d313.jpg?v=1571611117 You don’t get atmosphere like this watching it on television. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261118 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261118_mounted_a806822a-9486-4211-9d22-5c8e25002dce.jpg?v=1571611117 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261119 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261119_mounted_b83c3a55-7a1f-48e6-8974-5fcfdaa6cadc.jpg?v=1571611117 That suit was made for you. It’s the cheapest one we’ve got. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261120 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261120_mounted_7b797f60-6311-47e3-8fad-9aa3c32b6fe7.jpg?v=1571611117 You won’t be gaining another daughter, you’ll be losing a son. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261121 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261121_mounted_12b601bd-801e-4aef-a736-ccd172afca8e.jpg?v=1571611117 I had to give everyone their money back! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261123 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261123_mounted_7a4ec53c-cf10-46ec-93fc-e469cdfb70bc.jpg?v=1571611117 I guess you could say I’m a self-made man. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261124 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261124_mounted_6b312e71-1a20-4757-900c-7899ca5db293.jpg?v=1571611117 I reserved two stools for 7:30. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261125 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261125_mounted_9e2a815c-27a3-4d0f-b67a-b5e428b78f1b.jpg?v=1571611117 How long does it take to walk down to the dispensary and get him a sleeping pill? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261126 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261126_mounted_467972b1-f8fe-4c1c-a3a2-2d4328829ddc.jpg?v=1571611118 Sorry about the bed, Sir, but you asked for our cheapest room. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261127 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261127_mounted_af00769e-bf00-4b88-914a-140602380f00.jpg?v=1571611118 One of these is a prescription and one is a receipt from a Chinese restaurant. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261128 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261128_mounted_b88890a8-30f7-44ec-837f-1d00e1ad1a2d.jpg?v=1571611118 We’ll take you off the vitamins for a couple of days. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261130 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261130_mounted_10a2e828-ea22-4195-bf1b-0712b4120e38.jpg?v=1571611118 Go past the steakhouse, turn right at the donut shop, past the pizza place and it’s just before the hamburger joint. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261201 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261201_mounted_14f3da1d-5efd-4ad3-b260-598000f28b95.jpg?v=1571611118 No charge for the sun roof. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261202 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261202_mounted_6baba787-f33e-4b87-af1c-230240062ecf.jpg?v=1571611118 Don’t mess around. I know where you are. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261203 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261203_mounted_254f1ce2-8299-4132-9222-4a65cc2a332f.jpg?v=1571611118 I don’t think Mom makes spaghetti on toast like that. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261204 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261204_mounted_23bc05e7-bb4e-49d1-b867-d05dfca12032.jpg?v=1571611118 I don’t like it. He’s stopped crying and started smiling. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261205 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261205_mounted_312054a2-fc7c-436f-8e45-576afb29d748.jpg?v=1571611118 Battle stations. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261207 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261207_mounted_bd064dd7-d9f4-4609-a8bb-ba2eb982ce3d.jpg?v=1571611118 They took away his library card when they found out he was a bookkeeper. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261208 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261208_mounted_2076b7ca-0ef6-4c1f-8d7f-d57cc8b1df18.jpg?v=1571611118 Coward! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261209 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261209_mounted_14239847-1886-433d-9b00-ce53dcf13230.jpg?v=1571611118 If I do happen to pick him out, what are the chances of him being held in custody long enough for me to leave the country? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261210 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261210_mounted_14fa03e7-b809-4633-92e0-2f7056a7b91c.jpg?v=1571611118 I can get time off for bad behavior. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261211 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261211_mounted_a16622a0-f9b5-452d-86f1-26fe7c2f6768.jpg?v=1571611118 I think he’s got his mommy’s mouth. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261212 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261212_mounted_ec2742ec-b67e-46ea-9875-3ba4ecc1af1b.jpg?v=1571611118 Gee Ralph, the party was yesterday! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261214 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261214_mounted_f395afe0-d540-4481-9416-c2d0f229ad4b.jpg?v=1571611118 You can get in the bathroom now. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261215 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261215_mounted_e362991e-f7b7-480d-ba37-c2300ef3d2f9.jpg?v=1571611118 Good evening. I’m Andre, your Heimlich Maneuver specialist. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261216 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261216_mounted_de86f470-74c6-4888-98d5-dbdf7d7e8bb3.jpg?v=1571611118 It keeps the bag-snatchers away. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261217 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261217_mounted_f6e7f01d-9286-4772-81d5-8683921b6cd7.jpg?v=1571611118 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261218 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261218_mounted_7b51607d-0b9b-4dc1-ba12-42b20639e8af.jpg?v=1571611118 If you get straight A’s at school, I’ll buy you the machine gun. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261219 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261219_mounted_9d968877-1309-443f-8e6b-2b6a0ab0c0eb.jpg?v=1571611118 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261221 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261221_mounted_dfe25b9e-2393-4903-9335-4a0b567d7205.jpg?v=1571611118 It’s your wife. She wants a divorce. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261222 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261222_mounted_8c7f4829-2e42-4d71-9e76-5c181e8988d5.jpg?v=1571611118 I get a real deal on fire insurance. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261223 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261223_mounted_44f7c92d-f778-4e0b-a2a1-c0eb837167ec.jpg?v=1571611118 We only do dogs. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261224 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261224_mounted_2daeef5b-72e9-4c55-818e-4ece1d8adf58.jpg?v=1571611118 He’s trying to figure out a way to clone himself so he can stay home all day and still get a paycheck. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261225 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261225_mounted_a37624c9-5093-411c-9367-2b93ff2d0ff1.jpg?v=1571611118 I’m not naming him ‘Spartacus.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261226 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261226_mounted_52c4c1c6-b738-46d6-82e1-2a4908b9035e.jpg?v=1571611118 Got a hammer and chisel in avocado green? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261228 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261228_mounted_29f15dc8-9f02-42aa-8bbe-ee639b448baf.jpg?v=1571611119 Where did you buy these feather pillows? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261229 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261229_mounted_a38d93d0-c177-489e-9318-a37c1255a529.jpg?v=1571611119 He had an emergency operation. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261230 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261230_mounted_445aae33-3761-480f-a02e-794c9f42aa31.jpg?v=1571611119 D’you wanna buy some ‘Equal-Opportunity-Boy-Scout Cookies’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261231 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261231_mounted_dfb6b8e6-6ef2-4d2b-bb9b-68f729a10d0d.jpg?v=1571611119 I just hope you can pay for all these drinks you’ve been ordering. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270101 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270101_mounted_54ba0d8b-f519-4d84-8e08-8c80f3f4a415.jpg?v=1571611119 Thirty-nine Primrose Lane, and step on it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270102 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270102_mounted_81ef600e-f5e9-4ab6-8994-b875c36c2ed3.jpg?v=1571611119 Please don’t slurp that soup while I’m trying to watch the movie. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270104 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270104_mounted_3b657ba8-1f04-4247-a892-7819537b30ff.jpg?v=1571611119 How much is this book on speed reading? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270105 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270105_mounted_5a0e5552-4225-4acc-839c-a20c66a323ae.jpg?v=1571611119 I may have to ruin your coat. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270106 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270106_mounted_2f864629-ec4c-4ee9-b607-9416de1a6c5b.jpg?v=1571611119 That guy in room 3401 wants to know when the elevator’s gonna be fixed. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270107 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270107_mounted_f6cc8fe8-1025-4184-9d82-35981fd75fa5.jpg?v=1571611119 Why don’t you pick on someone your own size? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270108 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270108_mounted_4d5826ea-88fb-44bc-9dc6-7748585bb997.jpg?v=1571611119 If you can spare five seconds, I’d like to do a brain scan. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270109 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270109_mounted_f526516d-f9a1-4464-b944-75304724feb9.jpg?v=1571611119 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270111 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270111_mounted_576044bf-e12f-4e8c-a206-d344100f8ae3.jpg?v=1571611119 As soon as you’re in a good mood, I’ll show you the electricity bill. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270112 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270112_mounted_1c22a1d5-05e5-4303-ad15-97e9720a387b.jpg?v=1571611119 If this is 2 percent milk, how much am I paying for the other 98 percent? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270113 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270113_mounted_e8c2977d-d13b-4d01-9d82-a5944f18d9c3.jpg?v=1571611119 On your mark… get set… https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270114 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270114_mounted_ddeee2ec-d880-4789-97a1-7f1a17b0b052.jpg?v=1571611119 It’s not my fault you’re stupid. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270115 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270115_mounted_27af4ebf-6b53-47c7-b0e3-717f3a4a53f7.jpg?v=1571611119 What’s all this? It says he was born in three different places. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270116 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270116_mounted_bb947b74-48d0-48b2-9282-3c6e3ef3f673.jpg?v=1571611119 Did you know you’ve got $34,000 worth of fire insurance on the swimming pool? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270118 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270118_mounted_65a4ce8d-cdc5-4564-b3ee-96f55066ecff.jpg?v=1571611119 I wouldn’t pay all that for a dress while you’re still growing. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270119 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270119_mounted_338e329c-b079-4c03-91a1-cd7cee773248.jpg?v=1571611119 Are these cornflakes biodegradable? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270120 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270120_mounted_6f7df4bf-56e5-4508-8ab7-2f7d3c0dfa87.jpg?v=1571611119 I don’t want you bringing your domestic problems to work. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270121 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270121_mounted_d4f1e834-8a83-459a-b929-eb3e8d6f6894.jpg?v=1571611119 Oh yeah? Well, I just may not be there when you get home! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270122 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270122_mounted_fdfe540e-f9f5-4ae1-b277-7765fd97f11c.jpg?v=1571611119 Our luggage is in Greece. We might as well go there. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270123 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270123_mounted_3fc269ea-6ffe-4484-8ef4-45b076dfc07f.jpg?v=1571611119 I’m a masculinest. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270125 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270125_mounted_e212ed23-87df-4132-b69c-5ed0c55e284f.jpg?v=1571611119 Can’t you read? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270126 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270126_mounted_4dc03186-b85b-4110-b736-58110a9f2891.jpg?v=1571611119 He’s been teaching me to drive. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270127 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270127_mounted_304a3ff7-5945-4e6b-a0d6-307720fe2bee.jpg?v=1571611120 Just been to see his schoolteacher. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270128 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270128_mounted_058576a8-9bdd-4b28-beaf-b6bf3ed96f91.jpg?v=1571611120 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270129 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270129_mounted_767b94a9-94b4-45fc-b506-9fe494e1fc2f.jpg?v=1571611120 Did you say ‘grease’ or ‘cheese’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270130 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270130_mounted_50a76531-24f6-4f7b-b82d-f752e2ef989c.jpg?v=1571611120 Go ahead! I’ll only bleed all over your new rug. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270201 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270201_mounted_b22a4727-ba24-47c9-a4d6-57d044e2a746.jpg?v=1571611120 If she’s a genetic reject, how come I have to chase off all the young guys around here with a stick? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270202 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270202_mounted_e0cc8099-d131-46c0-858a-50f779510af4.jpg?v=1571611120 I can let you have those for half price. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270203 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270203_mounted_427aec55-f249-4d9a-9dc2-0e5a46a413f7.jpg?v=1571611120 Have you got that book, ‘How to Be Six Feet Tall Under Hypnosis’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270204 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270204_mounted_d3b4d8bf-ab55-4415-b13a-2ad942571f58.jpg?v=1571611120 I’ve lost the keys to my house. Can I live here? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270205 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270205_mounted_f6031cd1-246a-4ac1-98d1-beb0e401bb9a.jpg?v=1571611120 I’d say that was just about a total eclipse, wouldn’t you? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270206 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270206_mounted_7ae5983c-157d-4338-a961-84eff046850a.jpg?v=1571611120 So then I said, ‘The turning point in the women’s movement came when some guy invented the automatic transmission.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270208 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270208_mounted_b0f61c7c-73ae-4b6f-a634-62a6d18cae97.jpg?v=1571611120 It’s not even on the map. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270209 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270209_mounted_b53f5b34-1d1a-42cb-8378-a590fe7f5f29.jpg?v=1571611120 Nurse, can we get some chairs over here?! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270210 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270210_mounted_89490564-c239-4baf-8aa7-965e2f7cc47a.jpg?v=1571611120 He’s not very sociable. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270211 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270211_mounted_0aa76940-4545-4736-9a85-097f47ba76c4.jpg?v=1571611120 Is your Mommy home? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270212 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270212_mounted_df7112ff-b4be-4331-9105-891f48ebc4de.jpg?v=1571611120 Dirty-dine. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270213 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270213_mounted_3aaa7eff-fc6e-4a23-a360-bc7663949538.jpg?v=1571611120 And, of course, this model does have the folding bicycle. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270215 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270215_mounted_23b45c6f-b86d-4898-aa8b-7838473bf52c.jpg?v=1571611120 I don’t care where you’re from, I’m trying to read! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270216 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270216_mounted_b4546f75-6d90-41bc-8044-10087f11d96d.jpg?v=1571611120 I’ve decided to give you another chance. Next time case the joint first. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270217 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270217_mounted_6c79f6a8-2e7c-43a3-a24a-026148e704bf.jpg?v=1571611120 Come back and see me in two weeks, and don’t wear that tie. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270219 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270219_mounted_ab3509c1-57fe-4ae2-8377-b631884abae0.jpg?v=1571611120 Five bucks if you start practicing your violin. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270220 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270220_mounted_8c0c702f-4cd5-4e9b-96f4-5518c65564b8.jpg?v=1571611120 You MUST have overfilled it! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270222 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270222_mounted_ef56973d-f58f-490a-bf46-a7197dca065a.jpg?v=1571611120 Please fasten your seatbelt. We’re expecting a little turbulence. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270223 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270223_mounted_5ca5eaa0-96e6-47a0-9c53-fb25308046f0.jpg?v=1571611121 What’s it like, being inside there? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270224 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270224_mounted_910bd7d0-5a26-4806-a0ae-416fa90ea6ec.jpg?v=1571611121 Bend your knees. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270225 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270225_mounted_b2eb5468-70b9-4b18-96b8-b1c37669ba9d.jpg?v=1571611121 It’s my birthday! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270226 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270226_mounted_584d0ff7-6bc5-4841-8205-c9938b0b912d.jpg?v=1571611121 You don’t remember me, do you? I lent you 50 cents in high school. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270227 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270227_mounted_2549b41e-cd06-4766-b563-ba3b8db8ece0.jpg?v=1571611121 I told you we should have brought the earth buggy! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270301 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270301_mounted_cf1dac12-e6ef-4678-8656-2558366ca2ae.jpg?v=1571611121 I’m putting this one through law school. He’ll get you out. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270302 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270302_mounted_10b9d583-d8fa-4e9a-987a-203a2fc39490.jpg?v=1571611121 One size fits all. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270303 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270303_mounted_94a2a782-f5b3-4b32-ad1f-afc7417bc620.jpg?v=1571611121 My ex-husband said he’ll pay for our wedding and the honeymoon. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270304 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270304_mounted_8621ddaf-08fe-4a60-98bf-9b9e9376a2d4.jpg?v=1571611121 What about a moat? Do you want to buy a nice moat? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270305 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270305_mounted_ae3cb2c0-78d7-45ee-b989-7b56ead42d77.jpg?v=1571611121 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270306 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270306_mounted_ea4c752c-80b6-4ec7-8345-dfa13c2c901d.jpg?v=1571611121 I don’t want to ruin your day Herman but tomorrow morning I want to see you in my office. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270308 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270308_mounted_7f1e39c5-38ed-44ad-86c4-cc5ac197e320.jpg?v=1571611121 I found your cell phone. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270309 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270309_mounted_61d6ff15-9280-49ed-902d-30ec9a7bd3b5.jpg?v=1571611121 I heard you say, ‘There’s some old bat waiting’! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270310 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270310_mounted_873a587a-1c24-47d6-89d7-c271dad465de.jpg?v=1571611121 In time of war, they could drop you behind the enemy lines with that frying pan. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270311 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270311_mounted_ae3c0b9d-1784-4fa7-b84c-1c8ed55df918.jpg?v=1571611121 He loves a game of squash. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270312 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270312_mounted_b3492109-023a-437c-a658-73ef21c45485.jpg?v=1571611121 Next time we’ll get a taller plumber. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270313 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270313_mounted_b947d683-4c00-4439-a03c-33fadfb4ae16.jpg?v=1571611121 Did I get it? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270315 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270315_mounted_700eab1a-c41a-4f1f-8b96-815900e47d7a.jpg?v=1571611121 I really look forward to your visits. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270316 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270316_mounted_ace452ff-d069-43db-ae4e-223cd6d9b543.jpg?v=1571611121 They’re gonna settle out of court. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270317 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270317_mounted_7080ccba-0d72-4a31-9e26-ddd529714e66.jpg?v=1571611121 Take these and phone me right away if they work. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270318 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270318_mounted_eebb6aae-b820-4a21-913e-2a7dd0e342de.jpg?v=1571611121 Well, if it’s the wrong number, why did you answer the phone, you idiot? Now I’ve lost my coin. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270319 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270319_mounted_6bdd285d-c7ee-426f-b463-5ebe3a1590c0.jpg?v=1571611121 I can’t find my glasses, so keep still. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270320 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270320_mounted_f624025e-e4e2-499c-8ba1-31802267651f.jpg?v=1571611121 You have to do your own dishes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270322 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270322_mounted_211e8c2b-c07a-4727-b74c-7f583bc47772.jpg?v=1571611121 I want to see that new bookkeeper who started last Monday. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270323 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270323_mounted_601d739c-36a5-4a87-9209-4484e9854ac5.jpg?v=1571611121 OK! As it’s our 25th anniversary, I’ll make the coffee. Where d’you get the water from? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270324 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270324_mounted_6826e9d8-486e-40e0-9563-344bacc5c5fb.jpg?v=1571611121 You said you wanted dinner served in 10 seconds. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270325 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270325_mounted_fbc9b514-14a5-4663-9125-9b2d8dfd4acf.jpg?v=1571611121 Mildew, I know you like fruit, but you’re supposed to test one apple and one grape. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270326 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270326_mounted_644ab38a-42c4-4bc7-8228-9e45b8656879.jpg?v=1571611122 Ambulance or not, you left the scene of an accident. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270327 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270327_mounted_2a55a155-4f63-4f4b-bfaf-11236a37bdf8.jpg?v=1571611122 Will you try to look as if you’re enjoying this… I’m trying to make a living here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270329 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270329_mounted_6bf7afc9-4ad4-4f97-851f-a92dce471493.jpg?v=1571611122 I’ve been operating on a malpractice lawyer all morning. Look at my hands shaking! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270330 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270330_mounted_90ebddf0-bc35-4a1a-88e9-d9f580a82052.jpg?v=1571611122 He can’t come to the phone. He’s busy watching television. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270331 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270331_mounted_f477a044-06d4-463d-9067-f2103b70c7f7.jpg?v=1571611122 She’s the only one who can eat her own cooking. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270401 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270401_mounted_988ff7d6-0705-4902-a579-26eb1a4061c9.jpg?v=1571611122 Do you want the 75 cents or not? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270402 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270402_mounted_79def130-755f-480c-b5f0-e43163c63ed1.jpg?v=1571611122 Got any fire extinguishers? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270403 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270403_mounted_f863545a-8449-4981-9f76-0d8299846982.jpg?v=1571611122 So anyway, we got a date with these two French waitresses… https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270405 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270405_mounted_c2438f7a-7069-47a0-a638-adc5d562264a.jpg?v=1571611122 Muriel has agreed to marry me again, provided I continue her alimony payments. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270406 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270406_mounted_e9cb62d4-1497-4907-9851-38fe35917728.jpg?v=1571611122 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270408 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270408_mounted_4069edf0-d1e5-4d8a-8ca8-834360f1b3ca.jpg?v=1571611122 It’s undercooked! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270409 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270409_mounted_9e11b392-393e-4e4d-a8c5-44da239d8a91.jpg?v=1571611122 Muriel, I want her out of the car. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270410 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270410_mounted_513814d1-6ed3-4b11-bf41-c85d60302e4f.jpg?v=1571611122 Tourist or not, sir, I shall need to see a valid fishing permit. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270412 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270412_mounted_329f72fa-4fff-4048-8705-1502bb98786a.jpg?v=1571611122 Let me write you a check for the other 40 cents. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270413 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270413_mounted_baae70bd-679a-4b11-8160-16f0bfda9c3c.jpg?v=1571611122 He’s been like that for three days after hitting his thumb with a hammer. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270414 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270414_mounted_09c4a5f0-9c69-44fa-958a-0bd5a44278cf.jpg?v=1571611122 Chest, fifteen and three-quarters. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270415 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270415_mounted_59f1aece-4782-4d48-a4cc-b310b0295d59.jpg?v=1571611122 I never use this brand myself. I find it makes my skin dry. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270416 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270416_mounted_eeab5915-c194-4863-912b-ba6c92c73be3.jpg?v=1571611122 I guess your job’s safe for a few more weeks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270417 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270417_mounted_9f7c9d10-454c-4e21-97ac-d99a1091cc22.jpg?v=1571611122 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270419 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270419_mounted_58554bbc-9f99-4184-a84d-1da8eac4f40c.jpg?v=1571611122 I’m not going through this every time you go jogging. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270420 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270420_mounted_a1ce9b80-e9e9-4efd-a781-37b73b9ebfdd.jpg?v=1571611122 D’yer ever feel you’re on the verge of an incredible breakthrough? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270421 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270421_mounted_55ce5dc6-1520-4398-87f1-58605aa409b1.jpg?v=1571611122 Sorry I left during your sermon. I was sleepwalking. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270422 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270422_mounted_1b420bea-7f97-4a8f-b5e5-5764e0aa1d03.jpg?v=1571611122 Disgusting! Look at the size of her bathing suit. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270423 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270423_mounted_4cfabcf4-89e3-48e2-820a-6f9287597e6c.jpg?v=1571611122 Do you want a cup or a mug? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270424 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270424_mounted_c56f213a-5844-4e87-a162-5131b0883b6c.jpg?v=1571611122 How big are your safety deposit boxes? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270426 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270426_mounted_ae6e449c-221e-429f-bd16-de08b9854245.jpg?v=1571611122 I haven’t forgotten what you said to me last month. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270427 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270427_mounted_30aad7ba-45b4-4fa9-aecd-c02603f4d3c9.jpg?v=1571611122 You’re not getting enough calcium. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270428 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270428_mounted_2392201f-f254-4dd9-b7bb-57a19fdf65fa.jpg?v=1571611122 Don’t bother to leave a tip. I had one of your sausages. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270429 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270429_mounted_5f07fe7b-fa88-4d38-97eb-c0d0cc066864.jpg?v=1571611122 It’s not my fault. I thought it was ‘indigestion’! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270501 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270501_mounted_8a60f6e1-8dbe-43d9-8c0d-83c7c43294f3.jpg?v=1571611123 She wants to know why her airbag didn’t pop out. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270503 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270503_mounted_39085cbd-2bc9-4b44-ba77-7e9b3f5fc287.jpg?v=1571611123 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270504 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270504_mounted_731b3b4e-8c9c-40e6-b6ae-96d971482765.jpg?v=1571611123 Looks like they hit the supply wagon. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270505 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270505_mounted_5984ec42-e285-4ed7-872a-6fb098abfd25.jpg?v=1571611123 Maybe you’re allergic to shellfish. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270506 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270506_mounted_016a6e1b-379c-4fc4-8e64-334913888482.jpg?v=1571611123 I’m a parolee. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270507 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270507_mounted_d0cf2064-63c6-4e40-b11b-77488744fabc.jpg?v=1571611123 The baptism was 3 o’clock. We were definitely ahead of the wedding. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270508 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270508_mounted_265f5fc6-3043-404c-b312-ecc751360253.jpg?v=1571611123 The meat caught fire, fell in the dessert, and I had to put it out with the soup. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270510 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270510_mounted_6f33e7b2-d477-41f1-9442-e05102c2d977.jpg?v=1571611123 I’m not getting help! I told you it wouldn’t like pickled onions. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270511 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270511_mounted_a6326330-9a6a-4449-a5e6-18648a8b21f2.jpg?v=1571611123 You’ve got some nerve! You want a $500 loan and your’re not even groveling! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270512 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270512_mounted_64222804-ec8b-4dc0-871b-e4d74072349d.jpg?v=1571611123 How come I get a different driving instructor every week? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270513 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270513_mounted_8c2c0390-532b-4c8c-a558-92888d41b01c.jpg?v=1571611123 I told you he wouldn’t eat that ice cream. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270514 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270514_mounted_69f8a893-0989-496d-b127-667cd31242c8.jpg?v=1571611123 Is stick-up one word? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270515 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270515_mounted_3bd2c29e-e76f-4ed0-ae5f-4890e0954349.jpg?v=1571611123 I’ve got seven brothers and five sisters. Can’t you get them on the jury? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270517 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270517_mounted_ce9da76f-7052-427b-a6b3-13786a3f9c21.jpg?v=1571611123 YOU wanted home-cooking! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270518 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270518_mounted_1d16a5d7-deb7-44ae-9f27-1865d7d98128.jpg?v=1571611123 Got it! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270519 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270519_mounted_942da005-c31c-4ae2-a00f-6210ea8c0e9e.jpg?v=1571611123 Well, how’d ya make out on your first solo flight? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270521 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270521_mounted_a6645674-e34c-4e33-ae57-7efecd895965.jpg?v=1571611123 Money or good looks attract me. I’d say you’d need about $15 million. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270522 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270522_mounted_32405fbc-43d3-40dc-9777-c363aea949b1.jpg?v=1571611123 Well, if you didn’t rob the bank, how are you gonna pay my fee to prove your innocence? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270524 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270524_mounted_60bb8a18-ad3b-4c96-91d3-e956160789e2.jpg?v=1571611123 I think I’m gonna need a couple of days off sick. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270525 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270525_mounted_2ac1e150-dd53-4f77-9cd9-79fd2bd4f247.jpg?v=1571611123 She makes her own clothes! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270526 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270526_mounted_5076192c-eaa2-475e-9094-fb9171c6e867.jpg?v=1571611123 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270527 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270527_mounted_3ce571c8-a38c-40a2-9cde-c03a81508425.jpg?v=1571611123 Hi. I’m your new neighbor. I’m divorced, so don’t be surprised if I’m always over here around mealtimes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270528 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270528_mounted_5b2d366f-331c-4ac4-b282-64a1e9adde51.jpg?v=1571611123 I’ve got a very sensitive nose. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270529 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270529_mounted_f78f4827-5f56-47b1-b363-5dd5f5d8c7c0.jpg?v=1571611123 Gimme a break. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270531 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270531_mounted_90fbc84e-cdab-4617-95ea-7c179d37c2a8.jpg?v=1571611123 Nurse, where did we get those nitro-glycerine tablets? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270601 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270601_mounted_dfabf17f-2ef9-46f1-b86f-70f0f4646ac6.jpg?v=1571611123 I can’t face the next thousand years without my cup of coffee. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270602 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270602_mounted_662ee1af-c8f9-4da2-b654-ea392b5b309d.jpg?v=1571611123 Don’t get too close. Remember what happened at the zoo. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270603 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270603_mounted_341da3d7-82cb-45b2-bc46-07694bd69cf0.jpg?v=1571611123 Can I eat half of all I can eat for $3.50? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270604 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270604_mounted_95a8bf2d-1324-4a65-a258-ad96220641fa.jpg?v=1571611124 Follow the blue line. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270605 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270605_mounted_7e407645-a9d8-43eb-823f-1b5ddce393ba.jpg?v=1571611124 I’m sure you three will be pleased to hear I’m agreeing to your 15% pay demand. 5% each! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270607 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270607_mounted_bedfc88a-9c34-4e29-9d45-93e157cd73a0.jpg?v=1571611124 One-two-three-THROW, four-five-six-DUCK. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270608 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270608_mounted_bef3f8f1-6ce2-4284-b572-125f41f49f96.jpg?v=1571611124 My cousin, Irene, knows a good lawyer. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270609 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270609_mounted_837adc1f-b32f-4989-81f9-15d19e06fe65.jpg?v=1571611124 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270610 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270610_mounted_fe104d1b-1219-419f-a0e5-029b1122d059.jpg?v=1571611124 Open your mouth. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270611 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270611_mounted_5e34cffc-9717-4a46-bb5a-2260a5d20405.jpg?v=1571611124 He said I don’t need glasses! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270612 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270612_mounted_cdc03dfd-6a2a-4666-bb4c-e39e5d5fb431.jpg?v=1571611124 Oh, great! I give you $50 for your birthday and you spend $5,000. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270614 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270614_mounted_5b335a6b-6777-41dd-9265-3daee8dd953d.jpg?v=1571611124 Three coffees to go. Here’s the address. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270615 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270615_mounted_25a7927b-07fa-4096-9189-21c758f84fad.jpg?v=1571611124 Can I kiss one of the bridesmaids instead? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270616 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270616_mounted_d95946f1-9fb3-4c41-a71c-34a5261cff03.jpg?v=1571611124 See what happens when you can’t make up your mind!… ‘an illegal U-turn!’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270617 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270617_mounted_dcf81daf-4ddc-4720-bb9a-b43180fbf19a.jpg?v=1571611124 They let him come home, but he has to watch his blood pressure. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270618 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270618_mounted_e27f85a0-57d4-4afd-b198-cf88c7c411af.jpg?v=1571611124 My hook’s stuck! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270619 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270619_mounted_cec45376-a0de-4dde-be89-98e8a21cfbfb.jpg?v=1571611124 I see you having a big fight with your wife. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270621 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270621_mounted_4c9d0687-efdc-4c89-a875-f971ca49f491.jpg?v=1571611124 You again! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270622 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270622_mounted_d46294b7-8699-4804-a736-525daaa07ede.jpg?v=1571611124 His dermatologist told him to stay in the shade. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270623 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270623_mounted_1b997f39-6326-46e3-a459-e7a88c47c8f9.jpg?v=1571611124 It’s my first day. I thought this was the staff canteen. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270624 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270624_mounted_3786ce44-f2d4-45dd-9b50-533f3277d4e6.jpg?v=1571611124 If we’re each paying for our own, I’ll have an order of toast. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270625 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270625_mounted_e30f8a9c-5d9a-441b-a640-d8f10a75ba04.jpg?v=1571611124 The only lead we’ve got on the guy who grabbed your wallet and ran off is that he’s probably an Olympic gold medalist. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270626 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270626_mounted_9da73b3f-c59e-4fde-bfab-11b199f5e505.jpg?v=1571611124 You’ve got one hope… reincarnation. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270628 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270628_mounted_a449048a-4453-45b6-8f56-c2c6c127d3c0.jpg?v=1571611124 Mildew, don’t think I haven’t noticed your little trips to the flea market. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270629 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270629_mounted_d9280d9a-16ff-48bf-960b-08cc053fad11.jpg?v=1571611124 I’ll have a glass of water; preferably from this year. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270630 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270630_mounted_41604ea5-2003-4d52-a39e-fbb20ca5612a.jpg?v=1571611124 Well, at least she got it out of her system. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270701 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270701_mounted_93569352-4623-47b9-aee4-b936c87f3cd8.jpg?v=1571611125 This is our most inexpensive recliner. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270702 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270702_mounted_fccc04ac-0424-4459-a326-2cad731a5515.jpg?v=1571611125 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270703 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270703_mounted_231309fb-026d-4191-ba63-cc358c44c0e2.jpg?v=1571611125 I think I’ll wear it like this. Then you won’t have to keep reminding me how much it cost. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270705 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270705_mounted_11a17ed9-ff7b-4a3c-aee4-8d51188389b2.jpg?v=1571611125 You’re eating too much sugar. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270706 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270706_mounted_20584c37-7a2e-4870-acc3-c13c9fbb8eae.jpg?v=1571611125 Can you get married and find seven dependents by September? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270707 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270707_mounted_59988b76-7ae4-423f-9d6a-32aed57acaef.jpg?v=1571611125 I wish you wouldn’t eat cookies in bed. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270708 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270708_mounted_121636eb-afb5-4134-8613-94f12ad117f5.jpg?v=1571611125 Her previous three marriages didn’t work out. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270709 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270709_mounted_ab182765-7522-4ff9-bd4f-fda20e26ee18.jpg?v=1571611125 Be careful on those basement stairs. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270710 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270710_mounted_47add70a-0278-4867-9f4b-ba7652c079a3.jpg?v=1571611125 American Idol being watched by American Idle. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270712 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270712_mounted_29a2960f-63df-474d-966e-dbb7de4ddf04.jpg?v=1571611125 Do you know Microsoft Office? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270713 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270713_mounted_03feec1f-fc02-43fe-9b3b-f393c1c06414.jpg?v=1571611125 We’re running tests, but we think you’re from another planet. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270714 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270714_mounted_023507a8-44ef-4ace-ba74-2c13c788eb79.jpg?v=1571611125 You said your last checkup was in 1968? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270715 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270715_mounted_fb3938ee-1174-41b1-ac1c-f1eff7537278.jpg?v=1571611125 That slogan was your idea, wasn’t it Parker? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270716 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270716_mounted_b301ebb3-1f3d-4f00-a97a-5f7ed0923b67.jpg?v=1571611125 See, I got an ‘A’ in ‘Hip-Hop Appreciation’. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270717 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270717_mounted_bc98d60e-3d65-4dcd-b039-962413faed5b.jpg?v=1571611125 There’s a new type of butter called ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Margarine.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270719 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270719_mounted_8c37066e-e9da-42cc-9ed3-3f7fe5b48419.jpg?v=1571611125 Mildew, can you work an hour’s overtime tonight? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270720 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270720_mounted_6edd7dd9-c25d-4247-9dba-b3714683c7f2.jpg?v=1571611125 It was a pure accident. He was trying to cut my credit cards in half. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270721 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270721_mounted_43164529-bafc-4b3e-a2c6-28fab0b604db.jpg?v=1571611125 What are you, blind? You hung it upside down! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270722 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270722_mounted_9b9f5ced-5a6c-424f-81d2-6d86445a9f6d.jpg?v=1571611125 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270723 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270723_mounted_bdabe009-a24a-41b5-b7c8-14cdcfbe13fd.jpg?v=1571611125 You’re certainly a front-runner for the store detective job. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270724 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270724_mounted_8d2ddb40-f6e0-49ad-8e38-788f0e7fa440.jpg?v=1571611125 My personal computer just told me to mind my own business! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270726 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270726_mounted_0ae755e0-a222-4c91-8837-3ce594366e7c.jpg?v=1571611125 Is that the jacket your grandson bought you for your birthday? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270727 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270727_mounted_83c031da-28dc-4658-b267-a78c3c6a9e82.jpg?v=1571611125 Whaddya mean, ‘I burnt the oatmeal!’… that’s your coffee! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270728 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270728_mounted_7b39a4aa-7083-4a99-84b5-326979eea2ab.jpg?v=1571611125 I forgot you ordered mash potatoes, so I mashed your french fries. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270729 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270729_mounted_54e51495-6e47-4322-9cde-e9d40e0c75cb.jpg?v=1571611125 When did I ever bully you at school? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270730 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270730_mounted_acb556ba-acba-4f9b-9c48-70d740aace7d.jpg?v=1571611125 What’s wrong with this door? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270731 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270731_mounted_f34dd683-696f-43ac-b126-2b18257c5a8d.jpg?v=1571611125 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270802 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270802_mounted_60b65671-fe40-45af-aff4-d06100a8e4c4.jpg?v=1571611125 One of everything. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270803 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270803_mounted_0e178c53-3040-4bc6-9973-f7be84642f2c.jpg?v=1571611126 Now, why on earth wouldn’t you tell me you were allergic to penicillin? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270804 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270804_mounted_6ead03d7-303e-4b30-9d66-9fb6c614ea2d.jpg?v=1571611126 What a coincidence! You forgot my birthday and I forgot how to cook. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270805 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270805_mounted_3a79957b-91f5-4ba4-b634-99b368a080c7.jpg?v=1571611126 Don’t play around with the seat. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270806 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270806_mounted_a5f9a8b9-8b4f-4f04-a2e3-aed081b113cf.jpg?v=1571611126 I want to report a missing husband. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270807 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270807_mounted_23399b70-120c-43bd-a5a7-93de4f6d8e79.jpg?v=1571611126 I ran out of the long buns. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270809 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270809_mounted_79825c0d-3ee7-462d-a649-23b20b433ab8.jpg?v=1571611126 Got any clothes with the initials ‘GH’ on them? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270810 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270810_mounted_841c0145-210b-4990-afb3-a44df9bb9544.jpg?v=1571611126 Is there any truth to the rumor that you’re thinking of retiring from the ring? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270811 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270811_mounted_0538bf1b-9cf3-4af0-bff7-c23222b126a4.jpg?v=1571611126 I got you a four-slice toaster. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270812 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270812_mounted_6066278c-da13-4f5f-a57a-f661987a8744.jpg?v=1571611126 I’ve got only $2 left. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270813 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270813_mounted_2db9171c-427a-4db8-a644-30bcf3120e11.jpg?v=1571611126 D’you get a lot of rain on your planet? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270814 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270814_mounted_cb5aaaa4-b412-48be-9e80-f8034d4956a1.jpg?v=1571611126 How was I supposed to know you were in the shower when I flushed? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270816 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270816_mounted_39b51b53-22bb-4afb-a393-f01804c208be.jpg?v=1571611126 I told them I’d quit unless I got a bigger paycheck. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270817 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270817_mounted_7053759e-6bb5-45f9-a59d-af185d909a6e.jpg?v=1571611126 Did you know that no two cornflakes are identical? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270818 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270818_mounted_384a7f31-e817-4c6d-9ffb-fa5050f056b9.jpg?v=1571611126 What part of the home did you put in these homemade cookies? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270819 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270819_mounted_98caacba-0f28-4c33-9fbe-640a94759c89.jpg?v=1571611126 I always make him stand in the corner when he exaggerates. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270820 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270820_mounted_0d2af5ca-abd4-4746-bf85-b0420aa8084c.jpg?v=1571611126 Sir, you’re changing in our display window. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270821 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270821_mounted_12f44eaf-5e17-4901-9e2e-127b9fec0272.jpg?v=1571611126 I never knew this had a ‘reverse’ switch! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270823 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270823_mounted_4a577ca2-2274-4f0b-97db-0f3636e324e6.jpg?v=1571611126 I’m not going to listen to you if you keep calling me ‘paleface.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270824 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270824_mounted_c821796c-dcdd-4715-aa81-5cca4c48ba87.jpg?v=1571611126 He says he leaves you everything you left him… 38 bucks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270825 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270825_mounted_a443e60f-74ea-4db1-8e9a-7a756ec53cc5.jpg?v=1571611126 We ate some of the bread on the way here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270826 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270826_mounted_82fc19b1-28c9-4aec-b45b-9497c9c47c8c.jpg?v=1571611126 What are you talking about, lumpy green coffee? That’s your soup! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270827 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270827_mounted_f203d732-d5c7-4ced-aa7a-ec1f137ae5dc.jpg?v=1571611126 I’d like to wipe out my charge account debt entirely. Where do you want the furniture and appliances? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270828 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270828_mounted_df1f3fcc-eb90-4ad4-96c2-8f267fab4dcd.jpg?v=1571611126 I’m gonna pay my electricity bill while I’m here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270830 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270830_mounted_8eeb636b-f3c9-4262-aec5-ed1258713851.jpg?v=1571611126 The judge looked at that new evidence I dug up and gave you another eight years. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270831 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270831_mounted_117cfc06-df24-4a16-a06b-7d657503064e.jpg?v=1571611126 How much to the airport if I drive? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270901 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270901_mounted_278e8198-e68b-4a13-8957-941d17ed6cfd.jpg?v=1571611126 What do you mean they want you to take an early retirement next Friday without your pension? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270902 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270902_mounted_7e97c4cf-cfba-4407-a30d-0d2ccd8da49b.jpg?v=1571611126 I told you to use your putter. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270903 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270903_mounted_e175f79e-3169-4020-b01d-f0effcc4893c.jpg?v=1571611126 That’s just in case you drop him. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270904 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270904_mounted_a62fdef1-01c4-472d-8d69-2429d5992a59.jpg?v=1571611127 How many times have I told you about running in the corridors? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270906 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270906_mounted_c85304b7-e285-4ce1-8881-9a2b6566cd2e.jpg?v=1571611127 That used to be my best subject. Ask me the capital of Spain. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270907 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270907_mounted_d79082e1-3aeb-48de-a4e6-dde631469707.jpg?v=1571611127 I guess you heard what happened to me last month. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270908 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270908_mounted_b054d93d-8998-4fe3-b4f4-143a83f2b236.jpg?v=1571611127 This one’s been downgraded. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270909 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270909_mounted_e7353675-a941-4cc8-832c-032db21a2c3f.jpg?v=1571611127 Did you just change lanes under that truck? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270910 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270910_mounted_cf6d21e6-73f7-46de-a425-f0a82b106b23.jpg?v=1571611127 You’ll have to go back to town. I forgot the mustard. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270911 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270911_mounted_35b51f58-5643-4bef-b8f5-fd2200bc0188.jpg?v=1571611127 Maybe I should let you drive from now on. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270913 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270913_mounted_12e5ae85-c2f7-42f1-a0b1-e9a0b29faa3a.jpg?v=1571611127 I hope you know your stuff. I’m a very weak swimmer. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270914 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270914_mounted_72c39b31-b5a8-45a6-bf67-e6a3ee550b7d.jpg?v=1571611127 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270915 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270915_mounted_fd766b0e-0e3b-474f-9e6a-c68b63f3a942.jpg?v=1571611127 I think I’ll give it a shot on my own today, Bernie. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270916 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270916_mounted_b07c5044-c7b0-4568-9a0a-ae6416a6f215.jpg?v=1571611127 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270917 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270917_mounted_cf3c3f52-4366-4d66-8987-dbabb1e2ea89.jpg?v=1571611127 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270918 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270918_mounted_97f1eb03-4456-4d62-8a7d-80bd913b1131.jpg?v=1571611127 I need a pair of dancing shoes with steel-toe caps. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270920 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270920_mounted_4cfb9c3c-176b-4c6d-9d90-a40478bdfad4.jpg?v=1571611127 OK, you can stop signaling now. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270921 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270921_mounted_5cf0f68e-a7be-46ef-8fbe-8f9b8d3ef668.jpg?v=1571611127 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270922 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270922_mounted_06b9f7c9-c311-4aec-9ac3-5090d6bd39d2.jpg?v=1571611127 I’ve got 86 dollars and 37 cents. Is that reasonable? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270923 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270923_mounted_bccfa90c-0ed7-4fff-a64a-7902f7116264.jpg?v=1571611127 I’m only helping with the dishes ’til you get your pacemaker. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270924 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270924_mounted_5815246d-181c-4e05-b448-0bee79628e32.jpg?v=1571611127 This next one is called ‘Boats’, by my eldest boy, Derek. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270925 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270925_mounted_a8722b93-e41f-41db-aa8d-3d666f6c513f.jpg?v=1571611127 You didn’t have any money either when you married Mom! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270927 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270927_mounted_6b05444b-1e43-4364-bc78-b910dc478fc2.jpg?v=1571611127 Let’s face it, Edgar, we’re growing apart. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270928 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270928_mounted_28130dd9-6d55-4989-b333-1374439ceb2e.jpg?v=1571611127 I can smell cigarette smoke! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270929 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270929_mounted_6b6ce902-f881-4fba-8fb6-706d2286e0f2.jpg?v=1571611127 Get going. I want a dollar’s worth around the neighborhood. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270930 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270930_mounted_dd6a04ae-bd54-4124-9256-186bde54d52e.jpg?v=1571611127 Not the whole bed, nurse, just his mattress. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271001 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271001_mounted_87097897-b0e3-47fd-93ea-9b742ba064a1.jpg?v=1571611127 Double cheese, with ‘Happy Birthday’ in mushrooms. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271002 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271002_mounted_daca6e86-6f8d-418d-a8a9-890d96421eab.jpg?v=1571611127 Is this the first time you’ve had your eyes tested? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271004 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271004_mounted_9b713b79-c341-42bc-8d64-e9fc5e3ad38d.jpg?v=1571611127 Our marriage was built on mutual trust and a lot of acting ability. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271005 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271005_mounted_bf81ca1b-efd1-45fb-a629-9fcf4eeede27.jpg?v=1571611128 Does that look like a non-stick frying pan to you? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271006 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271006_mounted_bd9f417e-ad3a-4383-8059-98cba9459e54.jpg?v=1571611128 I told you the sand was hot. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271007 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271007_mounted_6b1379aa-ee75-47ef-ab75-06c2da0434ca.jpg?v=1571611128 Get ‘em before they come in the house. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271008 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271008_mounted_a84d0092-902d-42a2-b062-714640a712a7.jpg?v=1571611128 I just want to double-check your order before I go. You did say ‘Atlantic cod’, didn’t you? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271009 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271009_mounted_b24e26fd-d7f7-4f10-9cee-37242326afc0.jpg?v=1571611128 This is the most expensive perfume I could find without my reading glasses. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271011 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271011_mounted_86265d85-b9e1-4bd3-bbc5-8f635cb5c711.jpg?v=1571611128 I’m not interested in excuses, Mildew. You’re four minutes late. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271012 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271012_mounted_3cc4ee05-8489-4fc2-bd68-19f2e644fad5.jpg?v=1571611128 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271013 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271013_mounted_c133a95a-d4db-4891-86b1-96100d2c6de6.jpg?v=1571611128 What is it this time? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271014 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271014_mounted_567b4e4c-463c-4572-93c3-7384b57454b9.jpg?v=1571611128 If you’ve got cash, I’ll let it go for 30 bucks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271015 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271015_mounted_b455559a-e7a9-4eda-8300-3c1b79f3e7e8.jpg?v=1571611128 My parents met through a computer dating service. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271016 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271016_mounted_ab053fc0-bfc3-4e38-bc54-d10155ac69af.jpg?v=1571611128 Now get up to your room until you learn to act like a man. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271018 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271018_mounted_4c5007f3-1b9b-466f-b242-0fd93f8770f9.jpg?v=1571611128 Looks like I’ll be playing the ninth hole and you’re playing the 13th. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271019 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271019_mounted_3d9bac98-8636-41ff-acb6-0c367c371e89.jpg?v=1571611128 How much are these orange and black ones? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271020 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271020_mounted_80014828-8aa5-4c37-b9bf-a087a12319e3.jpg?v=1571611128 I showed him his bill. He wants his gallstones put back in. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271021 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271021_mounted_15195506-5ff8-4cda-b82b-0baec678bc9f.jpg?v=1571611128 You should hear what she just called him! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271022 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271022_mounted_0284f37d-4b41-4aeb-8731-f8bbf7ff90a0.jpg?v=1571611128 It’s coming. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271023 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271023_mounted_4b7ae7a5-2c0d-4f39-9b52-25fa98e2bcca.jpg?v=1571611128 What about the ceiling in the Sistine Chapel? I’m getting sick of plain white. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271025 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271025_mounted_f007d62f-f342-4f43-a28e-eb1952c49b66.jpg?v=1571611128 Take me to my house with a large pepperoni. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271026 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271026_mounted_a98b0940-cbb7-4049-87a1-35cd9c7a61a4.jpg?v=1571611128 Same time next week. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271027 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271027_mounted_4a48d27d-ba8f-4969-9579-1c3bcf692677.jpg?v=1571611128 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271028 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271028_mounted_f1dd9151-b8e9-4b14-9f15-edcc8268850d.jpg?v=1571611128 Don’t worry if this credit card is reported stolen. It’s only my husband’s. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271029 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271029_mounted_7d49ae58-8cc6-44b7-b6e7-3d2ed30b323b.jpg?v=1571611128 Listen, I’d better go. That guy’s still waiting to get his clothes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271030 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271030_mounted_128b992f-bc99-4163-b64f-f573271f925f.jpg?v=1571611128 Why would anyone rent us a nine-bedroom house for $200 a month? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271101 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271101_mounted_6c1ef6de-d8d4-4e00-bfc6-8998da98fe8d.jpg?v=1571611128 I was showing my sister-in-law how I slammed his thumb in the car door. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271102 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271102_mounted_91ff2233-4df6-4ceb-aedd-4a2e88231a25.jpg?v=1571611129 Grandpa, they’ve been arguing all afternoon about who’s going to get your pool table. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271103 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271103_mounted_174ecfdf-a9d3-4b12-9e99-13bd7c43a26f.jpg?v=1571611129 I told you not to order ‘home fries’! The chef lives 20 miles away. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271104 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271104_mounted_f5dedbfe-6bdf-43af-bef9-eeb05ac3bc54.jpg?v=1571611129 Whadda you think of gun control? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271105 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271105_mounted_efb14aa9-d107-4a73-99b8-72fc767af369.jpg?v=1571611129 I’m prescribing two coats of exterior latex. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271106 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271106_mounted_cce43196-f9e5-4240-a05f-1c27a2a700fd.jpg?v=1571611129 Got any ‘get sick’ cards? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271108 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271108_mounted_24e40a6c-7408-4552-aff3-160b348c38ed.jpg?v=1571611129 No, no, no. Point to Africa on the globe. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271109 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271109_mounted_b41ea03c-967b-46ac-9331-df7a7be3a793.jpg?v=1571611129 André, the usual two tables. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271110 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271110_mounted_c68703dc-8cb1-4e2a-898a-23a4015be85f.jpg?v=1571611129 So you dyed your hair and it turned green. You can’t spend the rest of your life in this bathroom. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271111 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271111_mounted_4774ddb1-f667-4be6-9db5-0e88a90e9961.jpg?v=1571611129 I need a wrench and a snorkel. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271112 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271112_mounted_d9ba91ca-3e6b-4aa8-8c0a-d6bd4e121a6d.jpg?v=1571611129 He’s on a vegetarian diet… now he eats like an elephant. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271113 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271113_mounted_34b3fb41-57fc-4753-ab14-c0273587d00b.jpg?v=1571611129 It’s a very popular gift item for $15. We put a $95 price tag on it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271115 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271115_mounted_90b97b0b-9e06-418f-92ad-fbd592b48a6d.jpg?v=1571611129 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271116 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271116_mounted_59df0a13-4837-4a61-a546-5bb659987b96.jpg?v=1571611129 No, no, no… STEAK, not snake! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271117 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271117_mounted_736594e6-4e56-43cf-b914-442c5afe8df5.jpg?v=1571611129 I’m in the dry-cleaning business. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271118 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271118_mounted_72b2cde4-da7a-4848-bd45-5ac3c45942f3.jpg?v=1571611129 My wife thinks I’m in the shower. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271119 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271119_mounted_20b3020c-e037-4474-9122-3a47ce0af2e8.jpg?v=1571611129 Oh yeah… well next time you make a dress for your mother… get someone else. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271120 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271120_mounted_157f4d01-69f0-4e09-895c-ae6d27c68b45.jpg?v=1571611129 Daddy, this is my new husband, Bernie. He’s a veterinarian. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271122 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271122_mounted_797583ba-3c9e-4985-bae1-0b11c7001302.jpg?v=1571611129 Don’t get me any more of this roll-on deodorant. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271123 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271123_mounted_57d8e08e-6eba-4679-bfe8-1556cf42d9cf.jpg?v=1571611129 It was yesterday. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271124 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271124_mounted_3266bde1-584f-401c-9b7a-6cb71542cc6a.jpg?v=1571611129 Good grief! It IS you! Twenty years? I thought I recognized the suit. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271125 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271125_mounted_26940842-d9e3-43ad-afe3-aa6a5013b6f6.jpg?v=1571611129 Can’t you go faster? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271126 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271126_mounted_3e38879c-15b3-4ef8-b8c4-377a23b6b4b6.jpg?v=1571611129 The doctor says your cast can come off as soon as you’ve paid. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271127 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271127_mounted_7d873981-e6ad-4866-9a6c-d9173ed10865.jpg?v=1571611129 Sorry, pal, you can’t come in here with a tie. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271129 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271129_mounted_a0e830da-23f6-4047-b32c-c2f83a190113.jpg?v=1571611129 It’s stew, but I put too much water in it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271130 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271130_mounted_183f6d67-ca82-4acd-9af3-04234e17693c.jpg?v=1571611129 How are you gonna defend me if you can’t stop laughing? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271201 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271201_mounted_c62b7477-323d-480d-9291-bdc0dc2788e2.jpg?v=1571611129 It’s a type of palm. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271202 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271202_mounted_70626788-81b0-4be0-a7db-6aa07cba813e.jpg?v=1571611129 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271203 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271203_mounted_94b3d4e7-903e-4d3f-a785-abcbeb71d926.jpg?v=1571611129 My wife won’t be here this week. She disappeared with the furniture last week. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271204 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271204_mounted_07d7c86d-034a-4c77-ae6f-0fbf22447521.jpg?v=1571611129 I’m not having you fall asleep at the wheel. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271206 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271206_mounted_84994247-e59e-4565-954a-1170482a2bd3.jpg?v=1571611130 You’re still mounting the sidewalk on turns. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271207 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271207_mounted_5d50bb13-de76-4060-9722-c86de8f01a8e.jpg?v=1571611130 If you’re thinking of wishing me a happy birthday, it was LAST WEEK! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271208 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271208_mounted_eca9b103-5349-46ed-aa91-2b3326754ce0.jpg?v=1571611130 People couldn’t spell very good in those days. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271209 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271209_mounted_837207ef-06f0-4f5a-9b62-969057d502de.jpg?v=1571611130 Don’t nag. If you want the light out, say so! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271210 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271210_mounted_076a3bcb-ce7d-4a83-ac15-d5e9cc32beb8.jpg?v=1571611130 What exactly do you do around here, Mildew? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271211 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271211_mounted_eb6fd941-92f1-4e15-8118-3a8806983ae2.jpg?v=1571611130 Don’t do it! Think of your wife and kids. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271213 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271213_mounted_0839aed1-9f9c-4c46-a112-c431dc1dbaf5.jpg?v=1571611130 No chain-smoking. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271214 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271214_mounted_9c9f1e1c-0e61-42ad-9ed5-dda6ffdbd624.jpg?v=1571611130 I got a ticket for going the right way down a one-way street in reverse! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271215 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271215_mounted_708ed237-724c-4c39-9f05-87ef209f5533.jpg?v=1571611130 It doesn’t have a reverse gear. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271216 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271216_mounted_04849967-e9aa-4efa-9e84-1aeeead2da65.jpg?v=1571611130 I usually leave an extra $10 in my pocket on her birthday. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271217 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271217_mounted_3453d3b2-3528-44ab-a5d9-c12e3eea2e70.jpg?v=1571611130 Good King Wen-ces-las looked out… on the feast of Steeeephen… https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271218 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271218_mounted_db4917e3-6b4b-4a9c-8d65-2492297a8d1f.jpg?v=1571611130 I want to exchange these reading glasses for watching television glasses. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271220 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271220_mounted_954abeab-c8cb-4f71-9e90-fe0f0576e002.jpg?v=1571611130 Go and open the front door while your mother’s cooking. I don’t want the fire department breaking it down with an ax. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271221 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271221_mounted_e37cc3cd-dfad-4b3f-b245-d5ff8d09eb8b.jpg?v=1571611130 All I said was, ‘I doubt if they’ll ever let him sing in the choir.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271222 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271222_mounted_002fb6ea-7454-4cb1-bd7e-2c678e2f46bb.jpg?v=1571611130 You haven’t the remotest idea what to get me for Christmas, have you? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271223 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271223_mounted_72e920da-2b1d-4260-8fd1-e68a7e4f1827.jpg?v=1571611130 Walk on the inside. That’s the 10th time a cab has pulled over. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271224 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271224_mounted_ab1ea8c0-40ed-4ebe-9079-c85f41a0daea.jpg?v=1571611130 Have you got anything for indigestion? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271225 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271225_mounted_7663a9da-2971-426a-8164-6b824e46996a.jpg?v=1571611130 That was either Superman or dad falling off the roof. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271227 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271227_mounted_81fea4db-1df8-47b3-ba74-66a326c19069.jpg?v=1571611130 Everybody except 7B close your windows. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271228 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271228_mounted_fd163f74-22b9-458f-bd17-9c7553ce16b9.jpg?v=1571611130 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271229 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271229_mounted_fc749c55-0e36-401c-a1c0-37f1b8806ebc.jpg?v=1571611130 The tow truck will be an hour. Why don’t we rotate the tires? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271230 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271230_mounted_4f6e7734-7127-4c0c-91d2-dd65a3bd623e.jpg?v=1571611130 I always welcome new neighbors with one of my gooseberry pies… nine dollars. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm271231 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm271231_mounted_51cdf309-fafe-4d6f-ae55-39cd898eabcd.jpg?v=1571611130 What’s the get-well card for? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280103 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280103_mounted_1a965989-bc72-4ec6-9543-d3fa4175ac1b.jpg?v=1571611130 Say, ain’t you that defector from Mars I been reading about in the paper? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280104 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280104_mounted_5f0b2726-b500-41e0-beda-afda64c37f8c.jpg?v=1571611130 He’s put gravy in his water pistol. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280105 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280105_mounted_4095a7a8-e81a-4c87-9547-a03d6d622535.jpg?v=1571611130 He gets those sudden migraines. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280106 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280106_mounted_fd634fb2-6720-4cd5-af3e-1aafcf9cb345.jpg?v=1571611130 We’re waiting for a probation report, Your Honor. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280107 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280107_mounted_954a74e3-bdf8-4f16-a312-67a5648517a7.jpg?v=1571611130 If she doesn’t show, d’yer wanna come to Niagara Falls? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280108 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280108_mounted_9c29c295-db85-4c6e-98e7-36a5980845df.jpg?v=1571611130 When he was 6 years old, my father was kidnapped by headhunters and never seen again. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280110 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280110_mounted_b99ec4a1-9fe9-498d-96c7-2273b5cd979f.jpg?v=1571611131 Harold, you’ve got to learn to take ‘no’ for an answer. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280111 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280111_mounted_53819354-ade5-460a-ba02-dbe0716db065.jpg?v=1571611131 Take one of these out every four hours. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280112 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280112_mounted_3bedbfae-b6af-48dc-98eb-e447b37e0876.jpg?v=1571611131 All her payments are easy. She uses my money. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280113 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280113_mounted_d6a6c215-c955-401e-9637-65157f5ab648.jpg?v=1571611131 I gotta get new glasses. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280115 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280115_mounted_753bc943-7aac-4151-819e-a75e32df7d3f.jpg?v=1571611131 I believe patriotism is a good thing here, but not for people in foreign countries. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280117 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280117_mounted_d4366d1c-c3c3-437e-821a-25ba8ae0287a.jpg?v=1571611131 You wouldn’t believe the time I had getting this cake out of the oven! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280118 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280118_mounted_4b3bd474-d1e2-4534-a071-012cf351bd00.jpg?v=1571611131 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280119 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280119_mounted_6903cd3b-0e89-4562-b213-90a54a1ac004.jpg?v=1571611131 Where’s the changing room? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280120 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280120_mounted_dfd374ca-d44c-4ca7-ac40-f154ca1d8fb1.jpg?v=1571611131 I’d like to see him borrow this again! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280121 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280121_mounted_5f4c6a71-b37e-4654-952a-813f8d1e0cb3.jpg?v=1571611131 Watch out… the plate’s hot. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280122 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280122_mounted_25c1617c-87b9-41b2-a817-270d7177f6d0.jpg?v=1571611131 Her sister’s making 10 bucks a week. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280124 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280124_mounted_4f49a367-5944-45ce-9738-ae0c0f261da6.jpg?v=1571611131 I can guarantee it won’t go frizzy with these babies. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280125 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280125_mounted_a6216f0f-55bc-4cd1-8310-acf1f537f00f.jpg?v=1571611131 She’s the opposite of ‘anorexic.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280126 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280126_mounted_8186d3cf-293a-4b8b-aef8-488545dbc268.jpg?v=1571611131 This hammer keeps hitting two inches to the left. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280127 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280127_mounted_1bec2950-4477-438b-8245-65e484f43241.jpg?v=1571611131 Just because we’re outnumbered 100 to 1 is no excuse for that kind of language! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280128 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280128_mounted_62bf154e-27f7-4493-9666-271686475461.jpg?v=1571611131 What made you give up your last job as an electrician? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280129 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280129_mounted_8a4c4ce8-7c7e-41af-8d22-f5e2815cb246.jpg?v=1571611131 Settle an argument. How do you pronounce his name? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280131 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280131_mounted_b7e9af8e-59b6-4ad0-8a75-6255e31cdc3d.jpg?v=1571611131 I wish you wouldn’t put your teeth next to the alarm clock. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280201 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280201_mounted_7243b866-ddfa-4c51-b126-a5495dcda35e.jpg?v=1571611131 We offer the most limited warranty in town. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280202 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280202_mounted_f788d57c-91c4-4b69-995d-f607c7c61d09.jpg?v=1571611131 I just started here today. I’ll come back at the end of the week. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280203 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280203_mounted_15518225-8755-4ec1-be23-3984ef764892.jpg?v=1571611131 Who d’you think’s paying for all this? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280204 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280204_mounted_e2a724c8-3e3a-4c7c-a874-b127d5a8b529.jpg?v=1571611131 Why are you looking in a book of gardening? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280205 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280205_mounted_a7090084-93b8-418b-a8a8-05d80112d30b.jpg?v=1571611131 All we have is twin, double and queen-size. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280207 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280207_mounted_d9870a39-760b-419f-bc21-6cea7ca96f11.jpg?v=1571611131 D’you believe this guy. That’s six times in a row he’s grabbed the check! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280208 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280208_mounted_0949d134-812b-46b4-a872-749d511adee3.jpg?v=1571611131 What we have here, Williams, is a breakdown in communication. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280209 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280209_mounted_17bb0b83-0625-4226-afa2-ba0167b4c1d7.jpg?v=1571611131 Smoking or non-smoking? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280210 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280210_mounted_b1663a7d-18be-4c3d-8868-0da792936f8a.jpg?v=1571611132 There’s one that needs trimming. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280211 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280211_mounted_767c4300-8aaf-4173-9757-11674c8998a6.jpg?v=1571611132 If it’s happy hour, give us seperate tables. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280212 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280212_mounted_6dfb1451-db01-42f4-9057-6572fec16fe5.jpg?v=1571611132 This was from his existentialist period. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280214 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280214_mounted_86fadfaa-344c-48f9-aae4-641891a44fd9.jpg?v=1571611132 We can’t buy this. It’s full of ingredients. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280215 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280215_mounted_9bc004ca-6177-4a47-aad6-a327b829cb59.jpg?v=1571611132 Shouldn’t be more than ten minutes. He was in a locker at the airport. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280216 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280216_mounted_b2945c40-4c6f-47cf-9835-af2f379a9a46.jpg?v=1571611132 Where’s the men’s room? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280217 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280217_mounted_5f6c1f58-4566-421c-a207-b558cabda17e.jpg?v=1571611132 You the guy with a fly in his soup? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280218 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280218_mounted_e6b05acd-d375-4429-978d-4e1b60b141ff.jpg?v=1571611132 I can’t stop. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280219 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280219_mounted_0150bbbb-0043-446c-9e57-3695dc1f0f36.jpg?v=1571611132 Didn’t you pay the cable TV bill? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280221 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280221_mounted_def8114a-90ce-4138-88e4-8d8d851a6512.jpg?v=1571611132 You’ve been putting on damp clothing. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280222 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280222_mounted_f52c35c2-6dd9-45f0-ac1e-0f6998ed9360.jpg?v=1571611132 We don’t have any! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280223 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280223_mounted_d4ce1873-dff1-409c-bb44-84d4c61037cb.jpg?v=1571611132 That’s their new tamper-proof package. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280224 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280224_mounted_038f8f1f-7d81-462e-94c5-89990be9821d.jpg?v=1571611132 Tell the manager I’m declaring bankruptcy. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280225 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280225_mounted_9760fbd3-72ca-4bb1-81ba-619537e86212.jpg?v=1571611132 Find out how much to fix it. Take it to three different toy stores. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280226 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280226_mounted_edac16ee-d686-4d87-bc1b-a3dfeb612fa1.jpg?v=1571611132 Table for two. Food for five. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280228 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280228_mounted_6eeba9e0-efde-448e-bc39-c3a0ef11a678.jpg?v=1571611132 There’s no sense spending all our honeymoon money before we get there. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280229 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280229_mounted_ef8899ab-6070-42a7-b736-312f526eb13f.jpg?v=1571611132 When I told you to count the pickled onions… https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280301 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280301_mounted_8c0a0ee0-2a7f-495e-b9c3-2c1e96da984f.jpg?v=1571611132 Take four aspirin and call me in the morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280302 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280302_mounted_6251525b-ebc0-4876-bc51-f80709417c09.jpg?v=1571611132 Let’s see… one cup of coffee and one, two, three packets of sugar. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280303 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280303_mounted_54588fe8-6d76-41ea-b08d-46e5ebe944ce.jpg?v=1571611132 They feel comfortable. What do they look like? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280304 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280304_mounted_6ecae8d6-2f6a-43d4-95b5-58c8a78600cc.jpg?v=1571611132 No wonder that piano tuner wanted a $150! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280306 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280306_mounted_f0b70b37-e7fb-4786-a847-c461ef6cca24.jpg?v=1571611132 His parents, grandparents, and each of his great-grandparents were all concert pianists. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280307 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280307_mounted_74fe6697-dd1b-4a63-8faa-c6eaa5d735fb.jpg?v=1571611132 Muriel, I told you this morning I’d be home late. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280308 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280308_mounted_77e26123-5ec4-40c3-97e0-0df5ce1dbf54.jpg?v=1571611132 Thanks for a lovely party last night. I know George had a good time. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280309 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280309_mounted_7097ab8a-d661-4015-9e5a-0bc40e1b1f34.jpg?v=1571611132 He was very romantic when we first got married, but you know how they change. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280310 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280310_mounted_c9f01fa7-d311-412a-96ea-2e5cd26e3ddf.jpg?v=1571611132 You don’t have to stop at red lights. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280311 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280311_mounted_198245c1-59b6-43b6-a4b2-c4e0b88bbc9a.jpg?v=1571611132 Oh, that’s nice. It says, ‘Our company took every precaution to see that the pig didn’t suffer.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280313 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280313_mounted_bce4751d-3f15-4a6f-82fe-e34cb924cc5b.jpg?v=1571611133 We can’t complain. It’s their wedding anniversary. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280314 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280314_mounted_5642d81f-da59-4e8f-8e2c-4bb3043906d5.jpg?v=1571611133 Thirty days or $350? If it’s all the same to you, Judge, I’ll take the money. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280315 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280315_mounted_9ddd825a-225e-4b02-8116-fb8c4d23c125.jpg?v=1571611133 They’ve cut the water off and I need some to cook the potatoes… https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280316 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280316_mounted_bd1df5e5-f09d-44ff-9cb6-28a898927ecb.jpg?v=1571611133 The first number… is… five. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280317 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280317_mounted_a38bd963-b7cf-4f86-9482-3f898c0a763f.jpg?v=1571611133 That’s fine! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280318 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280318_mounted_b5f00189-2a06-43ac-81c5-e9df3ce2d47b.jpg?v=1571611133 This is the new man, Hawkins. Teach him everything you know, then pick up your severance check. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280320 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280320_mounted_e7786f48-d93a-4168-9603-bc2e272eb27c.jpg?v=1571611133 Come on… it’s not going to look like that on you. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280321 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280321_mounted_73cc7d76-b8bf-452e-8cd7-71d3ec05a5f8.jpg?v=1571611133 Does Dad know about this? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280322 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280322_mounted_e0521408-385d-483f-99fd-97bba6d73a15.jpg?v=1571611133 Your’s is under the sink. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280323 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280323_mounted_01400939-3c48-4fc7-b2e1-19383cca0c97.jpg?v=1571611133 He’s in the used car business. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280324 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280324_mounted_2f64da0c-7314-40c9-a613-8e5ee8496c70.jpg?v=1571611133 When you go to the bank tomorrow, you should find an extra $50,000 in your savings account. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280325 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280325_mounted_485496d8-69fe-4d24-8db7-ddb4f32527a3.jpg?v=1571611133 Whaddyer mean, ‘Don’t get mad at him’? He bought a diamond necklace for his girlfriend with my credit card! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280327 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280327_mounted_bcd1b629-32e9-4c1a-8d98-aad16fecaf60.jpg?v=1571611133 If you’ll allow me, sir, I’d recommend the cheese salad and a very substantial tip. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280328 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280328_mounted_68ff3464-f00d-4528-b0d4-8b304e6aa523.jpg?v=1571611133 Maybe it was ivory poachers. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280329 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280329_mounted_c1e9b37c-882f-455d-8bd3-7df2ffd09a7b.jpg?v=1571611133 How’s the water? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280330 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280330_mounted_70e3e19c-02cc-4500-8529-e5196ddfd465.jpg?v=1571611133 What’s this made of… soap? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280331 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280331_mounted_d6bf1681-2625-43ab-a904-232dde8a3b41.jpg?v=1571611133 I’m sorry, but a snapshot of you at Niagara Falls is not my idea of proper identification. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280401 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280401_mounted_30b32ed0-d210-40cc-810f-e236e3ddb296.jpg?v=1571611133 Someone’s been selling clarinets to the Indians. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280403 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280403_mounted_95868ec2-88f7-4cf7-b758-dcaa2dc7e7d5.jpg?v=1571611133 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280404 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280404_mounted_af4fb4db-2f03-4bcb-af39-a151e348260d.jpg?v=1571611133 All right, all right. Fifteen years less 37 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280405 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280405_mounted_4f1b3382-da09-4ffe-ac18-779f882eae8c.jpg?v=1571611133 What’s my sponge cake doing in the bathroom? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280406 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280406_mounted_287a8953-3a33-4e3c-b1a4-aeabd8b1aadb.jpg?v=1571611133 Any luck today, Betty? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280407 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280407_mounted_8f3d3033-d4ac-4361-b87b-1e8364d88b25.jpg?v=1571611133 OK, but only until I find someone better. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280408 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280408_mounted_882a6052-197e-4089-9ede-5b05da6007c6.jpg?v=1571611133 I took my school report card in to get it framed and they lost it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280410 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280410_mounted_ac595f37-454c-42a5-b516-eecdc11cc36c.jpg?v=1571611133 When are you people going to get that elevator fixed? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280411 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280411_mounted_eda1baca-b4a7-4a42-8474-28ddbf7e509c.jpg?v=1571611133 You’re OK. How am I? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280412 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280412_mounted_74083435-f565-4400-8d5e-05c5794a6322.jpg?v=1571611134 Yes, we know what it is. We want to know where you got it! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280413 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280413_mounted_b8930a02-ed08-4bb0-a008-2123b5c711a8.jpg?v=1571611134 You’ll have to return to your seat, sir… we can’t keep circling the airport. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280414 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280414_mounted_0a24fc8b-56f2-4e70-b7f8-0c7fd42e81a8.jpg?v=1571611134 Modern technology… 47 floors in six seconds. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280415 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280415_mounted_3ed7efed-c321-49bc-a2c9-b7e77ed1a43e.jpg?v=1571611134 I want you to take one of these every six months and come back and see me next Wednesday. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280417 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280417_mounted_3d771c56-4ebc-4902-a43c-b5972c531bb3.jpg?v=1571611134 D’you want to look at the menu? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280418 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280418_mounted_38ee9cab-94e9-446c-9231-d57c7b55c326.jpg?v=1571611134 Are you sure? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280419 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280419_mounted_f3c6f4fa-66d0-4f6f-8ab9-6826b5b406ad.jpg?v=1571611134 We’re always looking for bright, young, intelligent guys like you. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280420 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280420_mounted_d9773740-5afa-477a-b8c4-9c4bd40d78a6.jpg?v=1571611134 Did you have to tell the newspaper reporters I was 57? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280421 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280421_mounted_f6eac9a2-fa65-4ca1-8666-6ea197dfeb91.jpg?v=1571611134 Dimitri, ‘punch’ is a type of fruit drink. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280422 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280422_mounted_ba0af695-adfb-45cf-bbc3-79d7701d9e9e.jpg?v=1571611134 Is this 38 miles on the odometer genuine? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280424 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280424_mounted_f39b5bb4-475a-42d9-9897-320e201fe344.jpg?v=1571611134 I can’t see him without an appointment! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280425 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280425_mounted_2a470786-765c-431c-b136-5c4a8d3037ba.jpg?v=1571611134 Yes, yes, I know you were excited. But read it yourself. It says, ‘Head man wanted for branch office.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280426 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280426_mounted_e327a374-9164-46f3-8ee9-7a8ae36a709f.jpg?v=1571611134 Stand back if I catch anything. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280427 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280427_mounted_d3817bea-0caf-4495-af5b-fa414e92923b.jpg?v=1571611134 I’m so bad, I got a government grant not to paint anything. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280428 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280428_mounted_8a3638a6-e5fd-4fb2-a606-9499d28cedb2.jpg?v=1571611134 Just a moment, sir. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280429 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280429_mounted_9d37946c-0203-40fc-90e6-5a23158e47c0.jpg?v=1571611134 I’ll have the same as yesterday… spaghetti and golf balls. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280501 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280501_mounted_4be5dae1-e40f-43f9-9724-c9db29019824.jpg?v=1571611134 How’s it going? I’d heard you quit your job at the bank. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280502 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280502_mounted_dddde464-8502-467b-be78-9519095fbc58.jpg?v=1571611134 I don’t want to borrow any, I just want to look at some. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280503 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280503_mounted_f7abef1e-acf2-4906-84c6-af257749e9f2.jpg?v=1571611134 Sorry about all the noise, Mr. Robertson. The gentleman is here who invented the eight-foot television. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280504 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280504_mounted_89577bc0-2b93-4398-a00b-e83272605a79.jpg?v=1571611134 Tell Eddie I found his pen. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280505 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280505_mounted_3add8aee-aa89-436d-be5c-61657eb3c963.jpg?v=1571611134 I don’t think I can read any of it. You’re holding it too close. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280506 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280506_mounted_05abc5e3-cc23-4d4e-b34e-bbbf0b6c87e2.jpg?v=1571611134 Two can live just as cheaply as one, Norman. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280508 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280508_mounted_bf27b93a-d9f2-4a38-a4bb-3033b92ce097.jpg?v=1571611134 Is the honeymoon suite equipped with a kitchen? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280509 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280509_mounted_7fb6d629-2223-4cc7-b34f-8f0e07365b8a.jpg?v=1571611134 He was on a one-day strike at work today and nobody noticed. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280510 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280510_mounted_bf76ce64-3ba1-4378-81b6-335d2c706b90.jpg?v=1571611134 Bernie, old boy… my wife doesn’t believe I was with you last night. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280511 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280511_mounted_fd18a6e5-0f06-455c-8579-de1bb9acec1e.jpg?v=1571611134 Sure, you were good at it. You were there for most of it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280512 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280512_mounted_4a4aa617-34db-4295-a6dd-5affb03e18a8.jpg?v=1571611134 They had a retirement party for me, and I was the only one not invited! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280513 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280513_mounted_1c165769-33a2-480b-a4fb-f34887e8bb6a.jpg?v=1571611134 This one was painted during the French Revolution. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280515 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280515_mounted_37298b11-8be0-4b96-b82e-af5b33330471.jpg?v=1571611134 I’ve spent three bucks waiting for you! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280516 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280516_mounted_f05462be-e571-4ef2-9afc-f3a84b543253.jpg?v=1571611135 Eleven years ago he was told, ‘Don’t call us, we’ll call you.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280517 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280517_mounted_ffe62323-3ccb-4c1d-87fa-a85b2bc8f6f7.jpg?v=1571611135 It happened during one of those used-car-dealer commercials. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280518 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280518_mounted_a70e0555-23b1-434e-9327-b43a6b8f8ace.jpg?v=1571611135 I’m sorry, sir, there’s no shaving in the restaurant. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280519 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280519_mounted_8e482758-ead8-46ae-9495-c640eb0e782b.jpg?v=1571611135 You sat up in the middle of the night and shouted, ‘Rub two sticks together.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280520 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280520_mounted_982ab207-9126-40a2-9d46-44984fe4cf99.jpg?v=1571611135 You’ve eaten all the nuts! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280522 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280522_mounted_86e3dda3-447e-4950-b7a8-7767acb62142.jpg?v=1571611135 I recommend 8-ounce gloves and protective headgear. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280523 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280523_mounted_ba42e327-cec9-4de7-85a2-828b52f84da0.jpg?v=1571611135 GET THAT THING OFF MY COFFEE TABLE! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280524 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280524_mounted_714b9624-4838-42e9-b77c-bd87bd97ba34.jpg?v=1571611135 He took off without paying. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280525 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280525_mounted_c7675f83-0a07-4eb7-bb84-222b031c3f1d.jpg?v=1571611135 Couldn’t you hear that phone ringing? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280526 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280526_mounted_97ec3305-792e-4a75-b0bc-a3f215669031.jpg?v=1571611135 I can’t see it. Look in your pockets. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280527 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280527_mounted_04c93dd5-b6e9-4a63-b743-d8fa5644bbc4.jpg?v=1571611135 Want to see the wine list? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280529 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280529_mounted_8797108d-e55c-4e07-b2d0-3eaba78ab1ed.jpg?v=1571611135 Table by the window, please. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280530 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280530_mounted_c4b28799-e7e0-4dc0-bfb3-253edd15ccbd.jpg?v=1571611135 I’ve decided to try shock treatment. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280531 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280531_mounted_48b99f14-c966-4ab3-9e89-fd3db8a65dcf.jpg?v=1571611135 We’re not too happy with the caterers. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280601 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280601_mounted_31cca557-ce3f-4285-b7e3-7c50a48d1de5.jpg?v=1571611135 You knew it was today! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280602 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280602_mounted_85ac3695-683b-4e88-8c1f-650a2c9af3ea.jpg?v=1571611135 Dad, we nearly caught a fish this big! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280603 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280603_mounted_495b5853-52da-4139-8c2d-fa774c714911.jpg?v=1571611135 It’s got a little camera on the front of it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280605 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280605_mounted_fd1951da-8b15-467d-b306-ed44cb49698f.jpg?v=1571611135 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280606 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280606_mounted_69f4f6cc-0871-4e41-abfa-3b9d1d2199c6.jpg?v=1571611135 I’m not really overqualified. My resume is a pack of lies. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280607 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280607_mounted_cc7fa969-ab2e-4772-8d00-709221127632.jpg?v=1571611135 It wasn’t your muffler. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280608 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280608_mounted_a294a5c8-9825-4b74-9888-23db2b2d416d.jpg?v=1571611135 I can’t adjust the air conditioning. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280609 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280609_mounted_859eaeaa-2a26-42e2-aed8-ea99b1118a69.jpg?v=1571611135 That too tight? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280610 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280610_mounted_5abe7d5d-9ddc-4d5a-8cab-6776eb313b25.jpg?v=1571611135 D’you wanna tip me now? Then I’ll know what sort of service to give you. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280612 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280612_mounted_1a67eff6-51d9-4e78-95f0-1af9b0dd8754.jpg?v=1571611136 I suppose you realize that behind your back Mom calls you ‘chicken legs.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280613 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280613_mounted_dacdeefe-e4b1-40fb-a847-68c076d23d87.jpg?v=1571611136 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280614 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280614_mounted_b1fc2029-0e64-4fd9-ba2f-012d872a4720.jpg?v=1571611136 If your name’s on this list, they’re all out. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280615 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280615_mounted_b57fcfb6-01b1-4ab0-aa4e-d8870e5ee7d4.jpg?v=1571611136 It’s just until I get my brakes fixed. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280616 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280616_mounted_04165536-dc9e-442e-8d5b-f4395297778d.jpg?v=1571611136 The little gray bits are non-stick frying pan. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280617 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280617_mounted_6ef41369-2264-4825-9e16-0f1350bb7b77.jpg?v=1571611136 They’re thinking of replacing the $20 bill with a coin. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280619 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280619_mounted_5ec3a05e-d4a2-467d-988b-32296aa89ee0.jpg?v=1571611136 I’m not late. I was giving you a little ‘wait training.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280620 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280620_mounted_eb07669c-34ae-4643-9c99-5cd4a97ced14.jpg?v=1571611136 You certainly don’t have to pay for a large pepperoni if you only ordered a medium. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280621 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280621_mounted_4fa15498-7a22-4126-aa87-e019b1949240.jpg?v=1571611136 She said she was on a diet and wiped out the salad bar. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280622 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280622_mounted_b2ba756b-174c-42e9-bfd3-28df8844035a.jpg?v=1571611136 Rather than an extra $20 a week, how would you like to be managing director of filing? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280623 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280623_mounted_4260b9d5-eb21-47a7-80da-d4f18f3813d6.jpg?v=1571611136 Who put in that crown? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280624 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280624_mounted_d11ee75f-b548-46b8-8bbc-da5c00731791.jpg?v=1571611136 Freedom. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280626 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280626_mounted_de6f13de-4a6d-49d5-adc7-60b8e9b247ed.jpg?v=1571611136 Are you ‘Herbie’s Wonder Tonic’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280627 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280627_mounted_8d346fab-eb52-4523-aa8f-dfea835d1aa9.jpg?v=1571611136 Did I hear you right? Did you just tell me I’m starting to put on weight? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280628 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280628_mounted_9a348076-1b4f-4fce-b6d9-86f1e707c134.jpg?v=1571611136 Henry, you’ve won a million dollars! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280629 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280629_mounted_15f8245f-ee77-441f-bfcc-1f124a959765.jpg?v=1571611136 We pool our tips here. What’s 50 cents divided by 27? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280701 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280701_mounted_e8bde9e0-9c3e-4212-8530-667a36c0b56e.jpg?v=1571611136 How can I pull it out without touching it? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280703 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280703_mounted_9831af66-e5f5-45c1-9ab3-8ee5146bd819.jpg?v=1571611136 You say you’ve got a ringing in your ears… https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280704 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280704_mounted_d7af93bd-05fb-465c-b6a6-d42c52a61f97.jpg?v=1571611136 Don’t take any of these red pills, and if that doesn’t work, don’t take any of the blue ones. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280705 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280705_mounted_c31bde14-f867-42f7-9b8a-d19010a2ab91.jpg?v=1571611136 Get down, Robert. Remember you’re an accountant. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280706 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280706_mounted_6f20c85a-708b-4abd-9ebe-0ead326c85d0.jpg?v=1571611136 Each hour. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280707 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280707_mounted_6e7e77e3-6758-4d7b-a4b0-9a3c4d647051.jpg?v=1571611136 My wife blew up that one. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280708 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280708_mounted_5bfa5fab-1bc1-4576-97a9-7f809193240f.jpg?v=1571611136 Dentistry’s come a long way in the last few years. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280710 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280710_mounted_27573ae3-be97-4a86-bb02-8b6279e9a73c.jpg?v=1571611136 Hold on… something’s cutting into my side. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280711 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280711_mounted_aad5eb90-b939-4978-9056-3b79fdec0859.jpg?v=1571611136 You’re exactly the same size as me. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280712 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280712_mounted_7d6e0925-977b-40b8-8f70-3cdf8a21d230.jpg?v=1571611136 She’s very quick with a potato peeler. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280713 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280713_mounted_e0b88aa4-3816-468e-8e7b-7dc459568d79.jpg?v=1571611136 Your hair transplant is being rejected! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280714 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280714_mounted_8275843a-3c39-4b0f-a4d3-5f41258ea274.jpg?v=1571611136 I’m here on a student exchange program. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280715 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280715_mounted_61bcf5d5-39c2-4158-8dd8-9a36fe328150.jpg?v=1571611137 You’re supposed to be holding it straight! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280717 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280717_mounted_8fdf75ee-dc47-481d-89a7-32f0de99f5ea.jpg?v=1571611137 You missed breakfast. It was 6 o’clock this morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280718 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280718_mounted_ef236600-7ca2-4c6b-8563-070002ca1ec7.jpg?v=1571611137 He uses that one when he can’t find his false teeth. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280719 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280719_mounted_b4de52b6-c218-44d4-b8d5-04e2dc3754ed.jpg?v=1571611137 Your cut in salary is a cost-of-living adjustment due to the falling price of coffee. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280720 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280720_mounted_32e1ef44-f874-47b7-b403-d9b2490c895e.jpg?v=1571611137 Oh no! He’s bought a trampoline. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280721 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280721_mounted_02117dda-a2c0-49af-b33b-39161c6d49ec.jpg?v=1571611137 You should never stifle a sneeze! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280722 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280722_mounted_0e154de6-dd8c-403a-a7f2-a72d627c6be0.jpg?v=1571611137 I’ll give you directions. Just don’t drive above jogging speed. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280724 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280724_mounted_047f8056-d3e1-41c2-9422-48b0577b87b8.jpg?v=1571611137 In a couple of days you should be well enough to make it onto the chart. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280725 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280725_mounted_44f7960e-11da-4ca5-ac21-05c1d5defef8.jpg?v=1571611137 Get your shoes off. I’ve just put down clean newspaper. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280726 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280726_mounted_a9a685f8-139b-47a3-8db1-6930ec66cc01.jpg?v=1571611137 What sort of hammer? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280727 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280727_mounted_ff137968-f9cc-4e42-b0fd-4b89768eab59.jpg?v=1571611137 You just ruined a perfectly good hole. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280728 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280728_mounted_590e6447-c0f1-4570-a1b2-03b2e4a95fa1.jpg?v=1571611137 Your chest x-ray is fine, but your driver’s license has expired. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280729 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280729_mounted_757d5672-5438-4a96-a064-e5a3069b7ef3.jpg?v=1571611137 I got it from a place called ‘Greece.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280731 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280731_mounted_e2b75c9e-3bfa-45b7-90b4-b4b539f7c1b2.jpg?v=1571611137 He didn’t even notice my earrings! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280801 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280801_mounted_f1ef0b95-d8e5-44a6-97a6-236601a71473.jpg?v=1571611137 These are my two references; neither of them can write. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280802 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280802_mounted_d38d5c82-c343-4ccb-b6aa-fbab0102e5ed.jpg?v=1571611137 She hates to part with it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280803 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280803_mounted_5fa0232b-53e6-416b-85a3-e949301cb145.jpg?v=1571611137 Come on, don’t waste my time. Get out of there. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280804 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280804_mounted_7018f709-a9a8-4c82-829a-62e8d6973fbf.jpg?v=1571611137 The fingerprint evidence is pretty conclusive, your honor. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280805 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280805_mounted_8388db09-6437-4fd5-884b-18e68d08ffb5.jpg?v=1571611137 Don’t go out during thunderstorms. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280807 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280807_mounted_36f1585a-fe52-4246-94f1-481c398ab382.jpg?v=1571611137 We don’t go out much since he hurt his back. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280808 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280808_mounted_84bc3aea-f057-46b8-a27d-740cea42baf2.jpg?v=1571611137 We went on strike last week and they brought in scab convicts. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280809 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280809_mounted_48c25b4b-9f35-42ae-85f2-38466dbe1069.jpg?v=1571611137 They din’t have an 18-inch so we had to take two 9s. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280810 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280810_mounted_c824472a-b290-461f-b76c-a6eae6ef0352.jpg?v=1571611137 Do you want to leave your glasses on? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280811 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280811_mounted_b46e1259-e8fe-46ae-9653-732ae57ec95e.jpg?v=1571611137 As a matter of fact, I went to all this trouble just to say ‘I don’t.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280812 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280812_mounted_1fefba8c-2f79-4957-a12b-927ee91fa7be.jpg?v=1571611137 Your wife had a baby girl. I don’t know if that makes you a daddy-mummy or a mummy-daddy. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280814 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280814_mounted_fb3b1c36-e540-4e78-9b11-bff25a7c5f54.jpg?v=1571611137 In a few minutes, you’re going to meet two nice gentlemen dressed in white coats. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280815 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280815_mounted_c58ff655-19bc-4cf7-9512-0a9b820a9802.jpg?v=1571611137 We were only out of the room for two minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280816 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280816_mounted_dfdd5033-7aca-4f20-a580-f84fb7e10cb6.jpg?v=1571611137 This model comes with shoulder straps for camping trips. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280817 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280817_mounted_d281d5fe-e8e3-4bae-b80a-35740f7aa360.jpg?v=1571611137 How about a 10 minute ‘shore-leave’ to take out the garbage? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280818 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280818_mounted_dc9be229-f60a-4d55-b414-65aad9e185d9.jpg?v=1571611138 You wanna look your best for the hospital. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280819 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280819_mounted_eefb22c9-a687-4749-aa2f-1a936ea11c78.jpg?v=1571611138 He’s not a musician. That’s his hearing aid. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280821 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280821_mounted_d363b02f-7630-4fa3-b430-1c5d444a2fda.jpg?v=1571611138 Is that how you like your coffee? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280822 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280822_mounted_69acd3b6-cc5e-496a-93be-d195d2ac7bc3.jpg?v=1571611138 We sleep in separate bedrooms mainly to prevent the house from tipping over. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280823 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280823_mounted_40157b78-4ea7-445b-ad6f-aabd2ecce066.jpg?v=1571611138 Just show me the cheapest stuff in the store and I’ll force myself to like it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280824 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280824_mounted_db1dcf22-d8b6-424e-bdd6-a3959bdc72b8.jpg?v=1571611138 Lifetime guarantee against speeding tickets. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280825 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280825_mounted_4b05ab78-7439-4198-9934-5fc3105fb77f.jpg?v=1571611138 If I was a tipper, you’d definitely get one. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280826 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280826_mounted_64d2cfa2-6a2c-415c-b745-3a284ae1f803.jpg?v=1571611138 He never did have a lot of patience. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280828 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280828_mounted_bb5cd0ee-e969-491e-a33a-f77a6420e994.jpg?v=1571611138 Personally, I prefer a soft mattress. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280829 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280829_mounted_d319f31e-3fa7-425f-8a57-05133c04e1cf.jpg?v=1571611138 You can guess who’s paying for the wedding doughnuts. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280830 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280830_mounted_826486c5-0a08-495a-b5ee-3608918f50d7.jpg?v=1571611138 One of everything four times a day. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280831 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280831_mounted_f2bf1930-25bc-4c3c-a311-5c970f85c4d8.jpg?v=1571611138 Just a couple of bills! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280901 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280901_mounted_75d5fbc8-659d-4b50-b19d-0ab95f93b962.jpg?v=1571611138 Phone the newspaper; I just found a second piece of pork in this can of beans! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280902 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280902_mounted_cf4474b4-210e-4d5e-93de-c9908298940c.jpg?v=1571611138 He always disappears when I want him to do the dishes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280904 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280904_mounted_9c7fd88b-7f59-48cb-8dbe-5884f6f91f9e.jpg?v=1571611138 OK, a cheeseburger for you. What about the Statue of Liberty over here? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280905 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280905_mounted_61725a10-c388-479b-a052-06e7be0df577.jpg?v=1571611138 We can manage on my pension. All we need is the fare to Albania. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280906 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280906_mounted_4930c8bb-441b-4542-bb62-6ea0a1da885f.jpg?v=1571611138 Can you account for your whereabouts in January 1992? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280907 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280907_mounted_29c80ae3-c745-462c-a9bc-55bc31e175ae.jpg?v=1571611138 What’s the fish like today? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280908 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280908_mounted_b966dc5a-75ff-4b23-a0c0-ee6f70c230fe.jpg?v=1571611138 What happened to my sun screen? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280909 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280909_mounted_0b27bad8-ccc4-40b4-8463-372d7ba101e2.jpg?v=1571611138 One way. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280911 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280911_mounted_0fc5142f-b3d9-409a-bb30-9233f75ff5c6.jpg?v=1571611138 He was laid off from the candle factory after the fire. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280912 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280912_mounted_a173f3a8-a1a8-4338-9cd5-6c4cb903815d.jpg?v=1571611138 I got 6 percent in math. Is that good or bad? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280913 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280913_mounted_4403a88a-50c3-43e3-87d2-d07e249c44b3.jpg?v=1571611138 I thought it was you. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280914 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280914_mounted_42e36178-d11c-4ff5-93a9-18052373a35f.jpg?v=1571611138 I wish you hadn’t told the waiter he didn’t look his age. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280915 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280915_mounted_6ac6d071-7e56-4a3e-8855-cc66b58ed41f.jpg?v=1571611138 Cruise control. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280916 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280916_mounted_6dcf2975-c4f1-4350-92d9-87b90e589491.jpg?v=1571611138 I see you're a man of sophisticated taste. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280918 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280918_mounted_f3a546d0-ccab-4ac3-ac9c-5c7089122d7e.jpg?v=1571611138 Commander Zook requesting permission to come aboard the planet. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280919 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280919_mounted_9e63383e-4452-4847-a2e8-529f0e6a5f3b.jpg?v=1571611138 This is our new model, ‘The Marriage Saver.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280920 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280920_mounted_527b910d-3071-4f53-9a21-b712bc0ab0e4.jpg?v=1571611139 Got him! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280921 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280921_mounted_efbbcca9-58fb-4d57-a70c-8a5fef0c842a.jpg?v=1571611139 The guy at table 7 said you ought to have been a saddle-maker. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280922 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280922_mounted_63524756-bbd0-4b5b-8ffe-8bf3f6191ff6.jpg?v=1571611139 How do you get these little bottles in a typewriter? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280923 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280923_mounted_fa498e79-941a-4a77-9d43-1368ca1d81bc.jpg?v=1571611139 Your baggage arrived, but your wife went to Tokyo. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280925 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280925_mounted_530578a9-fd87-4742-9b79-6f7e4bec8131.jpg?v=1571611139 The toaster’s all clogged up again. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280926 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280926_mounted_15f8eb34-9b04-4383-acb8-593d0aed1ec7.jpg?v=1571611139 Oh, boy! A world cruise. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280927 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280927_mounted_3575657b-6078-497b-8b52-6ca6c1403ebf.jpg?v=1571611139 I know I’m not supposed to interfere, but how’s the dog going to climb through that? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280928 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280928_mounted_8b7b75f2-7ffe-4db0-9d68-ffe2389d60f8.jpg?v=1571611139 Clarissa, will you please get back in here this instant. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280929 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280929_mounted_508cdaa7-7c47-4c6b-b8c0-595068cf3894.jpg?v=1571611139 Hey, waiter. We’ll share a medium pizza. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280930 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280930_mounted_186bfef7-7efe-4a8e-9fdf-9ec29dcd8b05.jpg?v=1571611139 I asked my new secretary to get me a sheet of graph paper. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281002 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281002_mounted_88e7a0b9-bcad-429b-87b1-2e923164d48a.jpg?v=1571611139 I didn’t want you straining your back plugging in a vacuum cleaner. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281003 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281003_mounted_b7486fcc-aae8-4cbb-8c7f-3542380a74f1.jpg?v=1571611139 It’s either your water pump or your stereo. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281004 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281004_mounted_665daf92-09f8-4af6-b1a6-ff7ab37018e6.jpg?v=1571611139 Luckily, our honeymoon suite had a TV in the bedroom. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281005 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281005_mounted_9ee07cd7-1271-441b-a90b-1668b7b7e6f8.jpg?v=1571611139 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281006 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281006_mounted_cad679bc-08cc-4163-a13c-b4e1dd9b9d5e.jpg?v=1571611139 Don’t drive around like that! Find a gas station! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281007 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281007_mounted_75d1425e-30d7-40bc-9231-2dc320ab709c.jpg?v=1571611139 I think you’ve had enough. Why don’t I call you a cab? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281009 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281009_mounted_87ec17a7-4e56-4b1e-90bd-fe931b372c87.jpg?v=1571611139 I hate the color but I’ll take it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281010 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281010_mounted_c048b5cb-d338-4396-bfb1-b334a2e34042.jpg?v=1571611139 I’d say his chances are about 50/50 of making it to the hospital. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281011 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281011_mounted_4f51cab5-b4bb-4f4a-aed5-f43e31c8998e.jpg?v=1571611139 Oh, no! We didn’t get our wake-up call. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281012 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281012_mounted_dbaafa6c-82d6-4f3a-8d3f-cf5eba0f3ae0.jpg?v=1571611139 I lost 10 pounds once. To be honest, I didn’t notice any difference. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281013 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281013_mounted_752561e3-738a-40e6-981d-dd50932ff1e1.jpg?v=1571611139 Which leg is it? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281014 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281014_mounted_8b482460-6e04-4042-9d18-a092e737e62a.jpg?v=1571611139 My kid ripped up the ace of diamonds. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281016 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281016_mounted_162fc4bd-c8c6-4945-abaa-95a6cb5a6063.jpg?v=1571611139 He doesn’t need pockets. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281017 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281017_mounted_7295477b-3073-4f34-bd89-e3f3f05821b8.jpg?v=1571611139 I’m sorry, sir, Dr. Rogers can see you only by referral. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281018 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281018_mounted_76128b6b-ed85-4519-9bd8-0795723d1127.jpg?v=1571611140 I just wanted to tell you I’m gonna be late. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281019 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281019_mounted_d6e50994-ca0e-433b-836e-249384923b51.jpg?v=1571611140 Same as yesterday: one sausage, four french fries, and 11 peas. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281020 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281020_mounted_45d47bb2-98b4-4f1f-93c6-31457c410091.jpg?v=1571611140 Kid, it’s against the law to tell people you’re 50 years old. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281021 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281021_mounted_e9fee01b-ffe7-4bdd-9535-b8725e12e498.jpg?v=1571611140 Pizza’s here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281023 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281023_mounted_b6ffe2d2-8ee4-4eb0-ae76-a5d5b472ca70.jpg?v=1571611140 He can’t see you for at least three weeks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281024 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281024_mounted_638f08a5-8eb0-4b57-9385-4fb98f2fa176.jpg?v=1571611140 Imagine anyone planting a tree right there! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281025 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281025_mounted_808ec139-021c-48f6-8edd-4d52e3aacce8.jpg?v=1571611140 My kid drew them on my passport picture with a magic marker. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281026 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281026_mounted_6a10acdf-03a1-420d-93fd-d4dbe2c39416.jpg?v=1571611140 I don’t mind pleading guilty, your honor, if you’ll grant me immunity from prosecution. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281027 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281027_mounted_b89805da-7c41-4f2c-98ed-8eae989de470.jpg?v=1571611140 This should keep you going while I’m on vacation. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281028 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281028_mounted_74920646-9d59-4c5a-be5a-ae836a676fc7.jpg?v=1571611140 I could have left you a tip if you hadn’t talked me into that cheesecake. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281030 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281030_mounted_97350a6c-3f0a-4fbd-a70b-9d0d2bfa4ddd.jpg?v=1571611140 It’s our wedding anniversary. She’ll have the pasta and I’ll have a roast beef sandwich to go. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281031 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281031_mounted_6d0a73dd-4e03-4371-bad1-dd7163e405b9.jpg?v=1571611140 Are you gonna be able to afford a car by the time I need to borrow it? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281101 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281101_mounted_e772d2e2-748d-4660-93e1-fb4ee987a00c.jpg?v=1571611140 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281102 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281102_mounted_40680ac9-e0e4-4572-a145-76211b3878fc.jpg?v=1571611140 Everyone at work drew straws and we lost. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281103 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281103_mounted_4628742a-63da-45b7-87e6-4b1073d7cdb3.jpg?v=1571611140 Is my prescription ready? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281104 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281104_mounted_03c50d44-f421-4033-8f08-fc9833374d65.jpg?v=1571611140 There’s absolutely nothing on TV tonight! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281106 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281106_mounted_4d7d0e5d-5d48-40a5-afac-2095ff2ae263.jpg?v=1571611140 Room service. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281107 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281107_mounted_ead5f35f-553c-4fb1-adf0-c87d1c0a85fb.jpg?v=1571611140 How much? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281108 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281108_mounted_039bfa62-4a41-4302-8191-15dabe2c0286.jpg?v=1571611140 I don’t want a son-in-law who’s stupid enough to marry my daughter. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281109 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281109_mounted_8d62400f-9d02-4a78-851b-acda4b58287b.jpg?v=1571611140 I won’t be able to make it next year. I’m having my hair done. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281110 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281110_mounted_352c76e1-e74e-4150-8c56-8c1c42a7ab60.jpg?v=1571611140 Just put it back on the wall. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281111 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281111_mounted_1c71cb2c-1df7-4817-88cd-78efb3f687af.jpg?v=1571611140 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281113 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281113_mounted_70124ae9-3b23-427e-9ada-5890790275c4.jpg?v=1571611140 The elevator’s broken. I’ll have to make several trips with all your luggage. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281114 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281114_mounted_ef4bf442-4d3e-4949-9525-b564e6d2351c.jpg?v=1571611140 Have any of you slaves seen my sandwiches? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281115 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281115_mounted_dda6324a-a852-40ca-9d2c-30714cb70856.jpg?v=1571611140 What’s ‘The Flight of the Bumblebee’ like this evening? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281116 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281116_mounted_47bb9e3c-702d-493d-ab35-cab37402868a.jpg?v=1571611140 We’re going to Italy for a week on his overtime pay. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281117 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281117_mounted_9cc1ae6c-7b28-4049-a516-e78c64847ede.jpg?v=1571611140 Don’t get out of the car. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281118 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281118_mounted_d7e9d13c-8ad0-4989-987f-b0ffd72c0468.jpg?v=1571611140 I thought you liked shepherd’s pie! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281120 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281120_mounted_90dc84e8-c12c-4ffc-91a7-377cf5fd3b54.jpg?v=1571611141 The dollar’s been weakening all week. . . Got a hammer? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281121 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281121_mounted_58ef9a3c-0d97-4fcc-a542-fc3efcab1d99.jpg?v=1571611141 Give the ticket to my husband. He taught me to drive. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281122 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281122_mounted_675e37fd-7908-4567-a001-9033b4ee505c.jpg?v=1571611141 Joyce, how do you spell ‘juggling’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281123 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281123_mounted_c507864f-595c-405b-9231-96d2c2f7d781.jpg?v=1571611141 Will you buzz off! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281124 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281124_mounted_550e9a97-1a7e-4834-a406-063d675edc0f.jpg?v=1571611141 Are you nearly finished? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281125 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281125_mounted_fb81b5f4-5209-4c85-82fd-844dcb3f1687.jpg?v=1571611141 She’s been trying to rebuild the economy with my credit card. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281127 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281127_mounted_b840cee3-0ac4-4f9e-a985-b53740baaafd.jpg?v=1571611141 Can I have your hat? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281128 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281128_mounted_c8a2b508-815c-401c-9446-4e444e47a7b6.jpg?v=1571611141 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281129 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281129_mounted_b0cdbe23-db36-4b58-a5e8-38e19ef419a7.jpg?v=1571611141 You’ll need this for the steak and kidney pie. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281130 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281130_mounted_e8e17413-e4b6-4f3c-9fbc-17220fa28f56.jpg?v=1571611141 What have you got within walking distance. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281201 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281201_mounted_f43e6163-547e-48b5-b5d3-0e2ba589af28.jpg?v=1571611141 My wife threw my dinner at the wall and I framed it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281202 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281202_mounted_c72d3d6e-8753-4d58-80d7-485d3cc76666.jpg?v=1571611141 I’m not sure what these are, but take them for a couple of weeks and let me know how you feel. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281204 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281204_mounted_e299c3b3-12ee-4c53-983d-c6ce9b6a1702.jpg?v=1571611141 Pepper? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281205 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281205_mounted_014caa30-7ac6-42cd-bb1b-59d6a9e48b83.jpg?v=1571611141 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281206 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281206_mounted_ef006e18-7bf4-40cd-a53a-16ccfd52c2a4.jpg?v=1571611141 Would you like the premium or budget surgery? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281207 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281207_mounted_c402ef0d-6358-4899-8d9b-6470796a9f77.jpg?v=1571611141 I can’t find Australia. Are you sure it’s on here? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281208 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281208_mounted_f0296d36-463a-42e9-ac17-b6ee7f90ff83.jpg?v=1571611141 I gotta be straight with you, Andrea. I wear special shoes to make me look taller. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281209 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281209_mounted_f8c4024b-a23f-42ed-ac35-0bbedaaa8803.jpg?v=1571611141 Makes you wonder how we ever managed without it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281211 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281211_mounted_3e25bbba-a1c9-4051-9653-21b3462d8c41.jpg?v=1571611141 Will you do both of us for $5? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281212 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281212_mounted_c83a57c0-cbf0-473a-a2cc-3930b67faa47.jpg?v=1571611141 It’s got a lovely view of the beach. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281213 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281213_mounted_9ca8d069-c29f-4ba3-85ea-e125e3f0b6df.jpg?v=1571611141 If you don’t go to sleep, you’re gonna be practicing that swing in a wheelchair. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281214 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281214_mounted_e78d720a-2bf0-4226-a6df-a275ff913588.jpg?v=1571611141 Harry can’t reach the drum! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281215 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281215_mounted_eb3ba313-c787-40db-9040-2ded79a6f528.jpg?v=1571611141 I should fire you, but I don’t believe in mixing business with pleasure. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281216 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281216_mounted_d3a3551e-0b7e-42c6-a7a5-f68270ff3d34.jpg?v=1571611141 Yeah, this feels about right. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281218 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281218_mounted_b6556e07-2580-40fc-81cb-021944b895b3.jpg?v=1571611141 I don’t want to learn to drive… I want to learn to better criticize my husband. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281219 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281219_mounted_fe9235ab-7582-4879-bb29-9cc6acf882b9.jpg?v=1571611141 Our figures show that the larger lamps are 68 percent less likely to be stolen by burglars. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281220 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281220_mounted_b10be57d-5049-4daf-ac98-8438ca407260.jpg?v=1571611141 I was rubbing two sticks together and discovered first-degree burns. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281221 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281221_mounted_b10d2dbe-7e23-4f14-a98d-b6f65d06b5aa.jpg?v=1571611142 We’re having a party downstairs. D’you wanna come? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281222 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281222_mounted_ccfc1807-355a-43bf-bc11-fe7b1cb0e479.jpg?v=1571611142 I usually have to drive him home after a party. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281223 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281223_mounted_f6ae1dd7-1bec-435b-ae51-9bcc8bead481.jpg?v=1571611142 You should be careful with blisters. You’d better let the doctor take a look at it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281225 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281225_mounted_53da6b8f-5f48-4125-a789-c732a0578855.jpg?v=1571611142 Mom, is this my baby sitter? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281226 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281226_mounted_522b7652-1ba6-41d0-8dc5-a16fcd40bcc7.jpg?v=1571611142 I gotta be at the airport in 3 minutes. I’m driving. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281227 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281227_mounted_1b0320a1-4c61-4a6d-b8df-6e12c8d2880f.jpg?v=1571611142 I can’t bring the car back ‘til low tide. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281228 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281228_mounted_20fc8fb8-fb4d-456b-862e-1b512424b144.jpg?v=1571611142 Whatever that was, I’ll have another one. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281229 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281229_mounted_81b349fe-de6d-4fb8-85eb-10635db37190.jpg?v=1571611142 Can I drop you off somewhere? I’ve decided to call a cab. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm281230 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm281230_mounted_ae142c2d-19ee-4b61-931b-6ac520f4955f.jpg?v=1571611142 You quit smoking again? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290101 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290101_mounted_1fc9b435-2683-4e04-b930-1a7199314f19.jpg?v=1571611142 Six years ago he started putting up a towel rack. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290102 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290102_mounted_668cf049-b861-4b15-a03a-e61a85681a62.jpg?v=1571611142 The odd-numbered caves are on the other side of the gorge. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290103 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290103_mounted_373bce18-84ab-41f0-a573-c03bcbbf5b08.jpg?v=1571611142 I need 148 get-well cards. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290104 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290104_mounted_bf68bcac-7caf-4e63-9347-9960ccf8ab8c.jpg?v=1571611142 How d’you expect me to remember your birthday? I was only a year old. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290105 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290105_mounted_7fa949bf-b6fa-4bd1-8fd9-ff4f8b94d699.jpg?v=1571611142 It’s just a back-up system for your pacemaker. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290106 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290106_mounted_179547f9-7697-43cb-b6a6-dbc7715faafb.jpg?v=1571611142 The racetrack laundered his money again. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290108 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290108_mounted_9f776e7b-972d-4048-b16f-5fa62b24fd79.jpg?v=1571611142 It’s a whole different world down there. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290109 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290109_mounted_4028ba2b-87f0-495b-947d-108ced365315.jpg?v=1571611142 Dr. Wilson the skin specialist, or Dr. Wilson the gynecologist? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290110 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290110_mounted_5546786f-cf48-4a10-ae58-311e4c5eef2b.jpg?v=1571611142 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290111 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290111_mounted_ec099165-91ae-4641-bbc1-e1827b888ce8.jpg?v=1571611142 I can’t find my baseball. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290112 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290112_mounted_b312fee2-f41f-4f86-829b-fd488d927977.jpg?v=1571611142 Is this your first christening? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290113 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290113_mounted_f5b2628d-609b-48a9-97ad-9099a7c995c2.jpg?v=1571611142 I wanna be able to breathe if I sink. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290115 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290115_mounted_97c17a35-c201-4b81-bc32-259e44517340.jpg?v=1571611142 We ask for a $5 deposit on the sausages. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290117 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290117_mounted_e69c2ee6-5e31-4088-8aa7-a3e0cfcaba71.jpg?v=1571611142 Four blocks north. If it’s not there, eight blocks south. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290118 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290118_mounted_bf4d7216-3079-43c0-8df3-2e6ce0a1a11b.jpg?v=1571611142 … with this ring I thee wed. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290120 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290120_mounted_860a751f-c6e1-474e-8879-87fde5d4b67d.jpg?v=1571611142 Where do you want me to wait? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290122 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290122_mounted_ab863293-8e3e-4846-96c0-aae4a5141eeb.jpg?v=1571611142 It’s gonna be one of those days, is it? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290123 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290123_mounted_8e9d97f7-461b-4ed8-afa8-d58f8212c9ff.jpg?v=1571611142 Experience! Are you kidding? I’ve had 12 jobs this year alone! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290124 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290124_mounted_d532f0a7-edfd-4c95-afb3-4b2118b5aa77.jpg?v=1571611142 How long does it take for a lottery ticket to dissolve in stomach acid? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290125 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290125_mounted_9f1df6d7-f0d4-42eb-a6f1-7af7ab42223d.jpg?v=1571611143 My old legs are not as fast as they used to be. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290126 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290126_mounted_0d7e10f1-d5af-491a-853d-5d0846739eb5.jpg?v=1571611143 It’s not as bad as it looks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290127 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290127_mounted_b3157f86-8fc0-4f1d-96ea-6e097042b124.jpg?v=1571611143 There’s a limit of one per customer. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290129 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290129_mounted_e23f23e4-6660-4df9-b443-d8677511160b.jpg?v=1571611143 I’ll just have a cup of coffee. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290130 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290130_mounted_a33b8360-4e9a-4cba-8a4e-851ec13fceb8.jpg?v=1571611143 I know there’s a full moon tonight. Don’t keep thinking about it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290131 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290131_mounted_888d4e28-b53e-466a-8b86-91624da3b5d7.jpg?v=1571611143 He always keeps me in the style to which I’d become accustomed… poverty. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290201 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290201_mounted_c2a765ce-cfd1-4d7d-ae07-ffbff8ac4232.jpg?v=1571611143 This one’s 10 percent real food. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290202 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290202_mounted_9405a2f0-80e0-4f82-b24d-a5a9aa16c028.jpg?v=1571611143 We’ve come to repossess your land. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290203 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290203_mounted_7f933af6-98eb-4e78-b8cc-8a8a6e909644.jpg?v=1571611143 We bought you two toasters in case things don’t work out. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290205 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290205_mounted_a12d8f96-8254-4889-8fcd-91bfa0ff4331.jpg?v=1571611143 I see on your applicaton that you used to be a termite inspector. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290206 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290206_mounted_12958163-c560-4566-91e7-1e9e59673763.jpg?v=1571611143 Banzai! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290207 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290207_mounted_6c367419-1816-4108-97ec-cc976f78251b.jpg?v=1571611143 Grandma, can you lend me $11 to get a set of false fingernails? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290208 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290208_mounted_9a03f2f6-8977-42ee-9db7-e79c73854e84.jpg?v=1571611143 I hope you’re not going to be like my first three husbands. They all went bankrupt. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290209 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290209_mounted_0f68d0f4-10fb-4074-b768-3868c97a96f1.jpg?v=1571611143 I’m gonna flop here; my feet are killing me. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290210 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290210_mounted_5bf7b13c-b64e-407e-9b12-a6f0ab4e2d3a.jpg?v=1571611143 Here he is, Mom. He fell off the tractor. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290212 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290212_mounted_d9b6f299-95dc-4962-acba-21a5fad58a44.jpg?v=1571611143 I’m not worried about his future. We were only in the park 10 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290213 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290213_mounted_49e66435-e31d-4109-8e38-bb82a5e7cb11.jpg?v=1571611143 You’re supposed to be at the church in 20 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290214 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290214_mounted_c0db85c4-fc3e-4221-a809-5f7472bb1ba3.jpg?v=1571611143 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290215 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290215_mounted_29e22e5a-c2cd-4c80-a8f9-a42abda36122.jpg?v=1571611143 We’re planning a second honeymoon if I can get an hour off work. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290216 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290216_mounted_0267c296-8df6-46ea-a156-5a036c99df18.jpg?v=1571611143 His brother and his nephew Reggie are doing 12 years for armed robbery. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290217 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290217_mounted_4d0f3526-2b7e-4b22-8487-c34f4c69afb2.jpg?v=1571611143 This is the only one we have in your size. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290219 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290219_mounted_9e24acc9-6784-463a-9bad-f1badb69ee75.jpg?v=1571611143 I’m just going to get a pack of cigarettes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290220 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290220_mounted_b6505de5-49dc-4846-9eeb-3f2d46725b77.jpg?v=1571611143 How many times have I told you not to call me at work? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290221 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290221_mounted_1aa5e624-aa01-4cbc-9c63-39a7e015166d.jpg?v=1571611143 It says, ‘How long before we land?’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290222 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290222_mounted_265d8276-3d84-4d1c-a2a9-552248a5583a.jpg?v=1571611144 I put these on the ones I haven’t done yet. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290223 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290223_mounted_83c73792-abd8-4488-972d-fa746a4e4d9e.jpg?v=1571611144 Now then, is that blue or glue? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290224 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290224_mounted_7cfe87aa-a451-4eba-9d2f-757804c0f5fa.jpg?v=1571611144 Is this kid yours? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290226 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290226_mounted_1176df4e-c221-4171-9e8b-01ddbe35d938.jpg?v=1571611144 I’m your new neighbor, upstairs. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290227 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290227_mounted_b7b1be67-769d-4a4b-9649-a6bdacad444a.jpg?v=1571611144 Rapid pulse, sweating, shallow breathing… According to the computer, you’ve got gallstones. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290228 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290228_mounted_66875361-11a8-48ef-b52c-21f9805b3268.jpg?v=1571611144 I can get to the supermarket in under six minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290301 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290301_mounted_f78466fe-ce18-47bd-bb34-11f225b8dd7f.jpg?v=1571611144 I am still waiting for my change! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290302 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290302_mounted_c7de38fe-15fd-4162-a9d4-d2079bb8d865.jpg?v=1571611144 Can’t you make less noise when you eat? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290303 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290303_mounted_c247c396-c961-4b95-8dcb-a407d2ca21b2.jpg?v=1571611144 Why don’t we just call it quits and I’ll cancel my next four trips? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290305 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290305_mounted_b6bb02df-514b-4a14-85cf-3cce3db2c46e.jpg?v=1571611144 Listen, friend, if you wanna date my daughter, you’d better start letting your hair grow. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290306 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290306_mounted_d9c4bdef-eead-4da7-a996-fe157d1f655f.jpg?v=1571611144 I’m sorry, sir, you can’t come in without a jacket. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290307 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290307_mounted_194077ff-cd7d-4642-82ee-a8babcae0981.jpg?v=1571611144 You’re not even half as good as my last driving instructor! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290308 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290308_mounted_937304c1-e915-4a03-9e01-e9b049702316.jpg?v=1571611144 No wonder you’re having difficulty walking. You’ve got an armchair back here! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290309 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290309_mounted_3702b3ed-f5e0-4d66-8f8f-7f61042ccc99.jpg?v=1571611144 Can you tell me how to get to Wimpole Lane, Berry Street, Tunney Crescent and Orchard Park Avenue? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290310 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290310_mounted_cebc30e1-6f00-41f7-9b99-fd14fecbc458.jpg?v=1571611144 Perfect! I’ll take ’em. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290312 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290312_mounted_236486e5-2cd0-401e-bb88-5143e630c39a.jpg?v=1571611144 Where can I get a bunch of sunflowers? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290315 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290315_mounted_5631bd99-6273-40d4-ae47-2dbf3697272e.jpg?v=1571611144 You forgot the stool! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290316 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290316_mounted_c3c5fbb7-147a-4458-9d7c-155fab331ea6.jpg?v=1571611144 You didn’t say anything on the phone about needing a co-signer. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290317 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290317_mounted_3e771feb-9ee3-4aaa-b91f-94ae0f9c320e.jpg?v=1571611144 We have to move with the times, G.B. My salesmen need horseless carriages. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290319 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290319_mounted_90bc4fbe-31ca-4db4-a204-906ed3ebe1fe.jpg?v=1571611144 I hooked a real big one but it kept swimming around the boat. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290320 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290320_mounted_fe6d6d64-00f3-4b59-8f3b-10e7ba737f59.jpg?v=1571611144 Which way to the railway station… both with sugar. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290321 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290321_mounted_5f608545-dfc5-4ae4-9e15-82b70bd64bb2.jpg?v=1571611144 Now that you’ve cut off my electricity, how do you expect me to find my checkbook in the dark? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290322 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290322_mounted_b9cdc4d7-c829-46f5-b64c-93c4fdb115ef.jpg?v=1571611144 Name? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290323 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290323_mounted_951faee8-b8a5-4c4e-af9e-af8cd045e480.jpg?v=1571611144 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290324 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290324_mounted_57ac64f7-6f4f-44fc-a9e4-44f25ee68a67.jpg?v=1571611144 Today’s special is all the caviar you can eat for $600. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290326 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290326_mounted_71cc52b7-2091-4610-92d4-a6801f42e4e9.jpg?v=1571611144 You’d better go now. I’m not stopping halfway across the galaxy. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290327 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290327_mounted_b852085f-97b8-48e5-bc3b-653b4ae73bd1.jpg?v=1571611145 It’s always the same when we go camping… wakes up and can’t remember where he is. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290328 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290328_mounted_a34e688a-9988-413d-9dfc-36b7b7056e73.jpg?v=1571611145 Hi. Thirty years ago… camping trip to Arizona… you lost a little baby boy. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290329 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290329_mounted_adf62d9c-2997-4c69-9788-800a1670d645.jpg?v=1571611145 She can say ‘charge it’ in 14 languages. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290330 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290330_mounted_a1be77b5-0071-4dff-8ba0-810937f8c1cb.jpg?v=1571611145 Can you spare a twenty? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290331 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290331_mounted_17b44162-8e71-4a48-a8f7-724660186645.jpg?v=1571611145 The doctor said sleep on your stomach tonight and he’ll see you first thing tomorrow. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290402 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290402_mounted_d128e097-9050-4bc1-b446-6e1cee0d3729.jpg?v=1571611145 I’m increasing my odds. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290403 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290403_mounted_7d04aacc-4d3a-480b-baee-847d3ebdda06.jpg?v=1571611145 I’m going to have the buffet. Do you have another one for my husband? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290404 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290404_mounted_d9a7cbaf-242a-4089-ae53-70664e19c8b4.jpg?v=1571611145 I had to get her $250,000 in liability insurance. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290405 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290405_mounted_bd887e7d-2d53-4a18-b440-32bd4498ffc8.jpg?v=1571611145 I found another one of these in his toolbox. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290406 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290406_mounted_0a3f22bc-1c55-4e1e-a0a6-46f8b255e96a.jpg?v=1571611145 Will you please ask your mother to sit over on my side? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290407 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290407_mounted_f32c4ee3-0f6b-45db-a5bc-773f8c74510b.jpg?v=1571611145 Are you sure the referee didn’t hit me a couple of times? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290409 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290409_mounted_d6646647-10b6-4e7f-92c6-2fb19d635951.jpg?v=1571611145 That’s the third time you’ve agreed with him. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290410 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290410_mounted_5e045464-d918-49c9-a523-a862f9653cfa.jpg?v=1571611145 You’re suffering from very high food pressure. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290411 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290411_mounted_35ca410a-a996-45c0-9020-c82523914f91.jpg?v=1571611145 If anything should happen to my nephew, Rodney, the bulk of my fortune will go to ‘Big Louie.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290412 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290412_mounted_7323e6bc-e3d3-402a-b096-037d7f59a0d7.jpg?v=1571611145 I’m leaving this for income tax just in case I get caught. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290413 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290413_mounted_e4a8052b-776b-49f0-b751-4cd05b4b79b9.jpg?v=1571611145 Fifteen seconds away from a peaceful night. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290414 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290414_mounted_81e4e508-afe3-46b0-a355-e732872900bd.jpg?v=1571611145 You look like an endangered species. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290416 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290416_mounted_5d337ea2-2006-40bd-aaca-f9a49dd14bdc.jpg?v=1571611145 It’s a movie about The Great Houdini. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290417 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290417_mounted_e36850e5-15ed-4bfa-a7b8-3128a1799957.jpg?v=1571611145 Sorry, pal, we’re right out of aircraft carriers. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290418 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290418_mounted_59e5ec2f-b2c7-4b2b-8322-bc2ab555551b.jpg?v=1571611145 Whaddya think it is? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290419 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290419_mounted_431807cf-b503-4e8f-8408-99d01dd39ef7.jpg?v=1571611146 Just say something about what it’s like here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290420 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290420_mounted_1b55203c-058a-4e12-8b05-5dbececd74f1.jpg?v=1571611146 Of course they disqualified you! You cut across the parking lot. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290423 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290423_mounted_6a791661-cdcd-454f-8cbf-cbeb5daf05b1.jpg?v=1571611146 Can I help it if your birthday coincides with the electricity bill? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290424 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290424_mounted_1156cda4-5f9f-4afa-b561-4acb79d73ba0.jpg?v=1571611146 I knew my little girl would leave one day. That’s how I’ve kept my sanity. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290425 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290425_mounted_196c6142-f590-4af9-ac64-2e9ce448cfd6.jpg?v=1571611146 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290426 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290426_mounted_22035ee5-bbeb-4248-adde-cdf3886e2822.jpg?v=1571611146 What does 86 years come out to with time off for good behavior? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290427 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290427_mounted_08e8d538-1574-4176-abde-f1bcc2b431d4.jpg?v=1571611146 I think our popularity is slipping. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290428 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290428_mounted_cb0650cb-1282-4a1a-8fed-2098a61fea84.jpg?v=1571611146 Whaddyer mean twenty-six, twenty-seven… I’m hitting a rock! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290430 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290430_mounted_863b8a5c-bfa9-421c-a2f6-a6b9af160e1f.jpg?v=1571611146 She got a black belt after her first lesson. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290501 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290501_mounted_8f6d454e-dcd9-414d-9c98-1512395d8f59.jpg?v=1571611146 I rolled the car on the way to band practice. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290502 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290502_mounted_7f70c1c1-578f-4b0b-8859-1777e5c1bc61.jpg?v=1571611146 I know it’s expensive to bring up a kid. Why come to me with your problems? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290503 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290503_mounted_93e450e8-905a-4493-b233-564478af66c8.jpg?v=1571611146 Pull over to this house and leave the engine running. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290504 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290504_mounted_f8c96a41-1ca3-4148-8b94-dd8e8f1f40bb.jpg?v=1571611146 I hope you’re behaving yourself. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290505 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290505_mounted_9d31f902-9302-454a-a2bd-6f7f3b757d5c.jpg?v=1571611146 It’s just until the dessert trolley goes past. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290507 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290507_mounted_74ca8116-e322-4be4-b424-2364666b2208.jpg?v=1571611146 Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the fair… https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290508 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290508_mounted_de3bf344-ab89-4dd8-a39b-4e3984df6454.jpg?v=1571611146 What have I got? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290509 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290509_mounted_f98d9d62-cbc4-472b-b0e1-d0aa9d161f48.jpg?v=1571611146 You can call me apatheic if you like. See how much I care! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290510 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290510_mounted_de7642b5-35dd-4e1a-b732-d0862f2dc7b0.jpg?v=1571611146 I only just made it out of the last place. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290511 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290511_mounted_2f16e009-9679-45ad-9bce-28dd51f10902.jpg?v=1571611146 Keep her mother happy… wave this chicken over us. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290512 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290512_mounted_c127c80c-7030-4e5e-bfb2-3d3e208c82b3.jpg?v=1571611146 He says the average surface temperature on his planet is about 600 degrees. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290514 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290514_mounted_9c62a466-4a71-4df2-9049-00d8f15ec1f0.jpg?v=1571611146 I’ve got to get some new curtains for the living room. Where did you hide the $6 million? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290515 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290515_mounted_ba18c217-7bed-4dc6-9d09-00ef4026866a.jpg?v=1571611146 How does anyone get four aces six times in a row? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290516 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290516_mounted_5862d72d-4742-4c96-af30-68b986675feb.jpg?v=1571611146 There must be somebody you don’t like. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290517 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290517_mounted_a0457bf9-af0e-4432-b62f-b22fe5259692.jpg?v=1571611146 I thought you said you wanted it ‘to go’! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290518 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290518_mounted_d83834a2-7cc5-48f4-99cd-0fa113709f5d.jpg?v=1571611146 He’s working on a way to make his hair grow. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290519 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290519_mounted_38830033-59e3-4480-a622-5a3b148c4013.jpg?v=1571611146 That’s the big clock in the kitchen. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290521 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290521_mounted_6e8480dc-32b7-45d6-b86d-aeb9d1d70cc2.jpg?v=1571611146 Why don’t you read the rotten map yourself! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290522 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290522_mounted_715aaa77-9b73-4c4d-a00f-ece4f1646372.jpg?v=1571611146 My first husband, George, loved to fly. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290523 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290523_mounted_88533a16-054c-4c17-9071-8231a43565aa.jpg?v=1571611146 You didn’t fill it up, did you? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290524 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290524_mounted_3e8febc9-a57e-4425-a2c6-966e5289dadf.jpg?v=1571611147 I told you not to use a rowing machine. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290525 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290525_mounted_64ed9e55-419b-45e2-b42d-080dc8ac0839.jpg?v=1571611147 Take that out of your mouth and tell the nice man why you’d like a job here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290526 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290526_mounted_ca7ec187-02ca-46bb-b0bf-85296f8c8c94.jpg?v=1571611147 We didn’t have any ice, so I put a piece of frozen pizza in it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290528 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290528_mounted_716a8f3c-5f3d-4df6-85c4-51dd009a041b.jpg?v=1571611147 Keep whistling. I forgot my glasses. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290529 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290529_mounted_f2b6582f-6e71-47ca-a43a-6adaba21c76f.jpg?v=1571611147 Personally, I think it ‘makes a statement.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290530 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290530_mounted_4f481b1d-b533-404d-9e36-87368425769d.jpg?v=1571611147 Have what you like up to $7.50. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290531 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290531_mounted_432522e5-d45f-43b5-94fa-6a70310c8851.jpg?v=1571611147 This is the 11th time I’ve sent you to prison. You haven’t learned much in 30 years, have you? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290601 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290601_mounted_b37c9159-58c4-4f40-bc8b-e62c37375741.jpg?v=1571611147 I hear you’re looking for someone who can work without supervision. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290602 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290602_mounted_af6cc7a8-4390-436a-a056-f91350e2047d.jpg?v=1571611147 Sweetheart, don’t forget your lunch. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290604 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290604_mounted_dac93024-2d48-4ce5-876d-e88731878831.jpg?v=1571611147 I bought her a cookbook the day we got married… It’s still in the wrapper. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290605 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290605_mounted_ce3d7849-fd88-449e-894b-fe1ff376d862.jpg?v=1571611147 All I have available is the honeymoon suite. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290606 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290606_mounted_5ee63d6f-fffb-4c50-b77a-5e0c4ff13b04.jpg?v=1571611147 It’s a bicycle roof-rack. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290607 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290607_mounted_ee57f9fe-7041-44f8-b9e7-01f0120d8bff.jpg?v=1571611147 Root canal? You’ve charged me for the Suez Canal. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290608 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290608_mounted_2d0fe606-3835-42e0-9cfe-6cbdf5142ce1.jpg?v=1571611147 I hope you never need a brain transplant. It’ll be rejected. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290609 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290609_mounted_673d185b-185f-46f2-9b4c-76a799453f17.jpg?v=1571611147 The doctor said you’re lucky it wasn’t lower. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290611 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290611_mounted_b1dde6b1-2dcc-4e85-8a65-b878f4014951.jpg?v=1571611147 If you want to read the editorials, you’ll have to wait until I’ve finished the comics. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290612 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290612_mounted_b7e4a4d9-cfab-4a07-b9d4-99f8689bcfb6.jpg?v=1571611147 I don’t usually do passport pictures. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290613 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290613_mounted_920f944b-1d10-44eb-8f98-186c82890312.jpg?v=1571611147 You just plug it in once a month. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290614 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290614_mounted_4502b110-7065-4934-91fd-af4dcabd745f.jpg?v=1571611147 Someone stole two million dollars worth of government toilet seats. The estimated street value is $1,200. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290615 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290615_mounted_9c27ba7c-719d-4ef8-9eae-69beee663ac1.jpg?v=1571611147 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290616 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290616_mounted_e2750a63-df2c-47d3-b6cd-b0cab7310b47.jpg?v=1571611147 We just don’t see eye to eye anymore. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290618 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290618_mounted_c7693de4-6169-4221-900b-97416382bcab.jpg?v=1571611147 I’ve already had three days off sick this month. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290619 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290619_mounted_2d3e9951-4e36-410a-a0e4-a59eb3aaeb24.jpg?v=1571611147 You need a second fitting. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290620 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290620_mounted_31faaad1-52fc-40d7-99e3-701715704b08.jpg?v=1571611147 What’s it like for cornering? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290621 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290621_mounted_84a9b3d4-d0a3-47cd-8829-5f6520e2aa8d.jpg?v=1571611147 O’Reilly, did you leave this junk on my desk? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290622 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290622_mounted_d0b15df5-d8ab-4070-8706-fe8ea1c44617.jpg?v=1571611147 Did you advertise for an experienced salesman in ladies underwear? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290623 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290623_mounted_433927b2-9bbe-4c18-b411-05479735d06d.jpg?v=1571611147 Do you have to remember my birthday every year? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290625 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290625_mounted_623fb6ad-3079-4870-934a-7dfaecb1e5ff.jpg?v=1571611147 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290626 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290626_mounted_3f35a706-8cdd-4f52-8ffc-dda9a87d040d.jpg?v=1571611147 Do you seriously expect me to hurtle through the air at 30,000 feet and not smoke? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290627 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290627_mounted_4cb8f1c8-95d4-4ef0-8257-2a031f7e9a52.jpg?v=1571611147 He moved! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290628 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290628_mounted_c42174bd-bc9e-4d12-a67c-b53dec32f138.jpg?v=1571611147 He stole $15 million, your honor. He wants to plead ‘guilty with a good excuse.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290629 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290629_mounted_91cbde42-81bb-40fb-80db-223be35c70a6.jpg?v=1571611148 Mr. Bixby is out to lunch at the moment. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290630 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290630_mounted_3e490d01-095e-4e15-a1ff-a29f531285ba.jpg?v=1571611148 Keep talking. I’m just going to take a nap. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290702 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290702_mounted_10400532-223a-4c8f-881f-4f15af38feef.jpg?v=1571611148 So this is the best movie your sister has ever seen. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290703 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290703_mounted_fca2ece2-9c50-4265-9628-90801d2e2ef6.jpg?v=1571611148 I got a date. Mom said I could borrow your coat. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290704 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290704_mounted_fb121aa5-13ea-4c15-b7f1-57bdb4eea7ca.jpg?v=1571611148 Got a 38-inch waist in dark gray? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290705 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290705_mounted_336ee8d9-b8bb-49d9-a522-3cbaf10f3e98.jpg?v=1571611148 Two coffees, one decaffeinated. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290706 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290706_mounted_58b15b6c-1215-4a96-97b2-d6c0a7495691.jpg?v=1571611148 They may need a minor adjustment. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290707 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290707_mounted_70c1a6c0-6d45-4beb-b007-98c90f7d9fd6.jpg?v=1571611148 Will I what?! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290709 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290709_mounted_f750b02b-fa95-43bb-ad07-6adfdabc0cfd.jpg?v=1571611148 He had to give up the shoe-repair business. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290710 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290710_mounted_c74f503e-e230-42a8-844c-a159ceee93d0.jpg?v=1571611148 It’s the results of that cooking competition. You’ve been awarded a ‘black belt.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290711 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290711_mounted_9c6e83e4-a2ee-4b64-abd9-2f146fc17970.jpg?v=1571611148 You see any rust? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290712 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290712_mounted_aea67e1f-fb82-4560-bde5-fac0979afa03.jpg?v=1571611148 Today’s diet; one spoonful of peas and half a carrot. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290713 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290713_mounted_98bdef78-6b35-460c-9e5b-e8f746bfb456.jpg?v=1571611148 To be honest, I’d heard you’d gone abroad. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290714 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290714_mounted_24b41ae8-6e1e-4118-ada0-f6088f67f2cd.jpg?v=1571611148 Stay away from that cake in the . https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290716 2026-07-21T07:56:45-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290716_mounted_7222fcc6-ddf2-45b2-bdb2-8f3c81214ef5.jpg?v=1571611148 Caught any murderers lately?