https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290717 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290717_mounted_1ff83ca0-a6f6-4517-830a-0cc8eb4d15f1.jpg?v=1571611148 How am I supposed to guess the size over the phone? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290718 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290718_mounted_8b763e26-b2d3-403b-88b1-a107303576c0.jpg?v=1571611148 We’re not doing 3,500 miles an hour. That’s the tachometer. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290719 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290719_mounted_a09b1cc9-b636-44c8-aacd-34f6fe88acb5.jpg?v=1571611148 To avoid a repetition of yesterday, I bought you birthday cards for the next three years. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290720 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290720_mounted_de5dc6ca-8b31-408f-957e-8458459f936d.jpg?v=1571611148 I wouldn’t be able to see a thing if she hadn’t had her ears pierced. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290721 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290721_mounted_ffa954dc-344e-4f82-b800-06fc654d984a.jpg?v=1571611148 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290723 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290723_mounted_06b97850-1a78-4dab-8b63-f4fa4f7b4d3f.jpg?v=1571611148 What’s 13 hours off 65 years. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290724 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290724_mounted_c7cb11d2-d563-45d9-b173-a5f039c2f1bc.jpg?v=1571611148 I just figured out we can buy 7,800 paper plates for the price of a dishwasher. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290725 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290725_mounted_b85b3bc4-ba90-467d-868e-87bcca6f4e17.jpg?v=1571611148 You said I could bring it back if my wife didn’t like it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290726 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290726_mounted_f83cbcf3-0258-437c-8a26-aa754bc5d15d.jpg?v=1571611148 I caught a 7-pound frying pan here last month.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290727 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290727_mounted_f5631624-85f7-4ac4-9f24-203bcb949015.jpg?v=1571611148 Remember your blood pressure! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290728 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290728_mounted_3836efc4-905a-4585-99d6-f48035bb2eca.jpg?v=1571611148 What am I gonna do about you, Phillips? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290730 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290730_mounted_170be435-5e27-4b45-ab66-d459648408ed.jpg?v=1571611148 What was that window cleaner shouting about? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290731 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290731_mounted_fb3688c3-575b-4253-bed9-2aed195f7232.jpg?v=1571611148 Yes, yes, I know it’s the other way! I’m going around the world. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290801 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290801_mounted_deadc420-9020-4c0a-ae87-eedf30b8d516.jpg?v=1571611148 I think I’ve discovered why you keep grinding your teeth. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290802 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290802_mounted_b455ba60-bf49-4953-af02-8e2f09de0bbc.jpg?v=1571611148 I can’t focus these binoculars. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290803 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290803_mounted_32522eed-dc11-4c71-b949-4b3785917ba1.jpg?v=1571611148 I feel better when I can hear it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290804 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290804_mounted_c18d9590-82f5-4126-9128-bf4c9976df8d.jpg?v=1571611149 When I shout ‘waiter’, I expect you to come immediately. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290806 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290806_mounted_20c792a3-505e-46b0-8dee-d1fceb6cb761.jpg?v=1571611149 Have you heard that expression, You are what you eat’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290807 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290807_mounted_6980bab6-ed4c-492d-a321-12d6a11cbaa2.jpg?v=1571611149 Will you get a move on — I got 200 sheep double-parked! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290808 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290808_mounted_4a4d7645-b21f-4e10-8793-77c6ce859352.jpg?v=1571611149 She wants something that you don’t use. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290809 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290809_mounted_75d8c248-9f0f-4b2a-9ef6-55508def6e78.jpg?v=1571611149 New airport security policiy. All passengers must have one. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290810 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290810_mounted_31b3f25d-b979-4af7-ba3e-9152b0a44dc4.jpg?v=1571611149 I need another 3 1/2 inches. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290811 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290811_mounted_332fe4e8-a043-4f84-a96f-5d001a18482f.jpg?v=1571611149 Quit fooling around! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290813 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290813_mounted_8c5c4d25-e38c-4b1a-ab4f-6bf233474397.jpg?v=1571611149 Pass the ketchup and one of your sausages. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290814 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290814_mounted_11db1624-517f-4f99-82b2-6c63e8ec7cef.jpg?v=1571611149 I did quite a bit of painting in the hospital. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290815 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290815_mounted_4f783515-9631-4364-8114-439ac93e95ec.jpg?v=1571611149 Quit arguing and give him the can opener. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290816 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290816_mounted_15ddc5aa-4f1a-4d3c-8ad0-72cf87557fc3.jpg?v=1571611149 I don’t know what this is, but you need a new one. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290817 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290817_mounted_8d9aa501-d64c-46c7-b85d-ab32c011e5e9.jpg?v=1571611149 Don’t laugh, my wife thinks I’m in South America with two million bucks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290818 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290818_mounted_4ee5dbc2-2767-4283-ba38-8f7cd287bd03.jpg?v=1571611149 I’ve looked everywhere, I can’t find your glasses. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290820 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290820_mounted_ce148767-2671-4a16-8286-2ecc863d5aec.jpg?v=1571611149 This is one of his earlier works. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290821 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290821_mounted_d1ca20b4-d6b8-4efc-a22e-12ce88c7b366.jpg?v=1571611149 Is this allowed? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290822 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290822_mounted_a4a4d56e-0e5a-4b7e-94ba-b08168600819.jpg?v=1571611149 Fifty-four cents in change, a book of matches and a bottle opener. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290823 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290823_mounted_74181d52-0d4f-4cc2-9b8b-e5f7d735d7d4.jpg?v=1571611149 Gimme a trim around the cap. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290824 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290824_mounted_26566b2a-ce0d-4464-a979-102fb3c1f03b.jpg?v=1571611149 Don’t use that thing, I’ll get the spray. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290825 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290825_mounted_a079d6a9-ae2b-4860-a393-1fe75a56b89e.jpg?v=1571611149 This self-adjusting set is giving me the creeps! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290827 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290827_mounted_acf988d5-79ff-4d9a-b532-5f31e82d541d.jpg?v=1571611149 Would you mind taking our picture? We forgot our camera. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290828 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290828_mounted_f1413a77-a43c-4ec4-a69c-bec4c08cf8d9.jpg?v=1571611149 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290829 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290829_mounted_3b6eac93-c27d-49e9-b24a-63f563313812.jpg?v=1571611149 The honeymoon suite is booked for another 20 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290831 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290831_mounted_c2eb072b-037d-4385-8a7d-c3ec75527c71.jpg?v=1571611149 I need something with controls in the back seat. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290901 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290901_mounted_25005b30-d5ed-43c3-a231-3ecab3b0b46b.jpg?v=1571611149 I spilled my coffee on the computer! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290903 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290903_mounted_e0ebc8f9-6e7e-4156-af4d-15690c7a3dce.jpg?v=1571611149 Supper ready? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290904 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290904_mounted_29dddedb-1950-4fce-a240-a98ad4482f3e.jpg?v=1571611149 The airline lost my luggage again. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290905 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290905_mounted_f65ca96f-5f3c-44aa-b63c-2688d991e548.jpg?v=1571611149 I told you not to rent that one. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290906 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290906_mounted_ef9f3c82-3dcb-453d-b6a5-b6c2136dc83d.jpg?v=1571611150 It’ll speed things up if you order the meatloaf. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290907 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290907_mounted_fdf1aea2-1ee9-498d-96fa-3154c114ef6d.jpg?v=1571611150 Take it with meals? After I pay for these, how can I afford food? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290908 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290908_mounted_03f37deb-3329-4e16-ac11-6de59e8b8a9c.jpg?v=1571611150 Don’t keep changing your mind. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290910 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290910_mounted_8490504b-2aef-41e5-99b1-4935e54bf767.jpg?v=1571611150 You’ll be hearing from my lawyer. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290911 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290911_mounted_458c503b-fe49-423a-831f-dd14c65284cb.jpg?v=1571611150 Okay, rinse. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290912 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290912_mounted_0e790adc-274c-4c13-ae26-cdccc2d5f106.jpg?v=1571611150 Do you want to share the cab? I haven’t got any money. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290913 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290913_mounted_e8a0f645-4480-4d47-a1cb-ff6b3b3e6ca1.jpg?v=1571611150 Do you sell those invisible hearing aids? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290914 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290914_mounted_269b158c-5fc5-4afb-81dc-ce0b28f77f02.jpg?v=1571611150 I’ll sign my brother-in-law’s name ’till I get my memory back. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290915 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290915_mounted_a6e7bf2e-22cd-492d-baed-680614efd5f1.jpg?v=1571611150 Since she got her new teeth, she’s put on 60 pounds. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290917 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290917_mounted_6b6e3940-2cd1-4206-9d06-f23026c2a654.jpg?v=1571611150 It’s a par-12 till the groundskeeper gets his back pay. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290918 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290918_mounted_1cfb074b-f8d3-4801-83c0-7267e69c07e0.jpg?v=1571611150 I can’t find my clean underwear. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290919 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290919_mounted_c5325c0b-d55b-4bdf-9ade-cb77424cdd27.jpg?v=1571611150 Couldn’t he wait? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290920 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290920_mounted_cd4d5529-7d61-45b6-81de-883604fb1fd1.jpg?v=1571611150 That’s if you have less than $8 in your account. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290921 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290921_mounted_9d5eda0d-c554-4321-8be3-94229cefab39.jpg?v=1571611150 You told me to hang your mother’s picture in the hallway. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290922 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290922_mounted_0875089b-6daa-4e4c-884f-986a550a400a.jpg?v=1571611150 Not again! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290924 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290924_mounted_c281b2a4-561f-4951-9924-6aa4ff8f2cfa.jpg?v=1571611150 Your last employer wants to know what you did with the canteen money. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290925 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290925_mounted_2fc27407-8f09-4eda-b5c2-d6b8eda2f821.jpg?v=1571611150 I don’t need anything, dear. I’ll stay in bed until the fever dies down. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290926 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290926_mounted_41c486c1-b401-4192-948b-3d1992636c44.jpg?v=1571611150 She changed her mind. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290927 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290927_mounted_2991e7a8-ea02-47f5-b30e-c363921704e0.jpg?v=1571611150 You’re quite a puzzle, aren’t you? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290928 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290928_mounted_3464b8ce-ec2f-443d-a26c-d697ca9d9006.jpg?v=1571611150 I told you you were putting on weight. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290929 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290929_mounted_fac71db6-81bf-413f-b342-0e74ca0a9270.jpg?v=1571611150 I ran out of newspapers. Whaddyer want to know? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291001 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291001_mounted_3f797cfb-52a6-4244-9b81-eb0ee5f9677b.jpg?v=1571611150 This is my rent check. Make sure it circles the globe a few times. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291002 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291002_mounted_2720a914-fc61-43f8-a799-403c51f35225.jpg?v=1571611150 He thinks a chiropractor is an Egyptian doctor. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291003 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291003_mounted_e2329232-6092-49b9-a033-a43bdf4d19af.jpg?v=1571611150 Gimme 15 seconds’ worth of premium. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291004 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291004_mounted_0533e60d-9731-4f6c-b48f-4d432d7ee4d7.jpg?v=1571611150 Her idea of a balanced diet is four pounds of chocolate with four pounds of cake. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291005 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291005_mounted_e0c5b1e2-6e80-4759-96b2-80491944083b.jpg?v=1571611150 Hold it! Hold it! My whole life is flashing before my eyes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291006 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291006_mounted_eadfde86-5196-4123-80a0-7f7ecfa2896c.jpg?v=1571611150 How much longer are you going to be on that phone? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291008 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291008_mounted_3ad1e92c-8f84-4c1a-8348-c43086edb1ea.jpg?v=1571611150 Go and find someplace to plug that in. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291009 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291009_mounted_8518d649-7dd3-4eec-a2b2-65299f156dfa.jpg?v=1571611150 First, a light dusting of defoliant. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291010 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291010_mounted_e8c07c62-63f4-48b8-8401-01d71906fa7c.jpg?v=1571611150 Harold, the doctor said to quit the office job because you kept bringing your work home. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291011 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291011_mounted_d3d2bb25-d394-4c16-ad0b-e9b77cb91549.jpg?v=1571611150 If you only knew. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291012 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291012_mounted_e08f5f03-2fa0-45fd-9a1a-7e37adc2d29e.jpg?v=1571611151 I’ll call you back in a couple of days. I’m pretty busy right now. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291013 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291013_mounted_14917469-5e37-4bf5-8e75-1039b2031dab.jpg?v=1571611151 You didn’t tell me I had to turn. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291015 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291015_mounted_8a536a04-094b-42b8-88bb-890ca5a1fb7d.jpg?v=1571611151 Two eighty-five? Here, take the $3 and drive another 100 yards. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291016 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291016_mounted_bd7e9453-92a0-44c1-8c9a-733a8e5fa2f8.jpg?v=1571611151 I sent my boy to study in Florida. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291017 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291017_mounted_4a6a31e9-02d8-49e7-9e46-f1b695c198dd.jpg?v=1571611151 Why do you always have to make a contest out of everything? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291018 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291018_mounted_050011ea-8ee0-414f-9d78-4cc9013bac89.jpg?v=1571611151 One day, Damien, this will all belong to you. Three weeks later, it will all belong to the bank. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291019 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291019_mounted_a4e88a5b-8ce8-4902-8d57-4ea6bea87217.jpg?v=1571611151 How do you expect me to average 55 miles an hour if I don’t speed? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291020 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291020_mounted_11ec4278-bdc9-4dc2-8875-fbcbcf1de6d4.jpg?v=1571611151 I’ll get that adjusted. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291022 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291022_mounted_f65f834c-29b9-4c35-9eee-96c3e9c3e7a9.jpg?v=1571611151 I lost the five grand. What’s our next step? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291023 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291023_mounted_d5b19945-a73a-445f-a05f-47c0eee705f0.jpg?v=1571611151 Looks all right to me. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291024 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291024_mounted_f02fa952-2570-4736-88e6-3fffe8ed30da.jpg?v=1571611151 I phoned your office and they didn’t even know you were off sick. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291025 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291025_mounted_d84181ec-28fb-44ee-b458-9a0beb0ef029.jpg?v=1571611151 Your honor, if my client is found not guilty, he could lose more than $2 million in book royalties alone. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291026 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291026_mounted_8d4393a9-5ba1-4387-aac7-58395fcc7bc0.jpg?v=1571611151 If you could afford the fare, I’d suggest Brazil. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291027 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291027_mounted_4f8fe743-0848-47b6-abea-a695c947125b.jpg?v=1571611151 That’s what you pointed at in the tank! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291029 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291029_mounted_83fffe88-28f2-4ba9-9703-66a6890fbb1b.jpg?v=1571611151 Happy birthday, Ralph. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291030 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291030_mounted_2e554f33-2ca0-449d-b6db-ed01cf5aa5a7.jpg?v=1571611151 Don’t creep around. I heard the garage door three minutes ago. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291031 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291031_mounted_caec63df-7daa-470b-a96d-b24de4de084b.jpg?v=1571611151 You promised me you’d get a haircut. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291101 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291101_mounted_731acc12-d0df-49ec-b5cc-3d9e2a108d0f.jpg?v=1571611151 How long before the snake comes out? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291102 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291102_mounted_da6b39dd-61f0-4861-a60c-3c2d2ebfbfb6.jpg?v=1571611151 This must be the middle of nowhere. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291103 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291103_mounted_64e97afc-6c79-482c-8003-effea909a1e0.jpg?v=1571611151 It’s our ‘pre-Christmas giveaway.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291105 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291105_mounted_2d984c0d-d38b-48d5-872c-20781761a439.jpg?v=1571611151 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291106 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291106_mounted_c274d460-e881-4f4a-83a2-40a19cc72c85.jpg?v=1571611151 She needs wider skis. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291107 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291107_mounted_b28bdaeb-ccac-496d-98f8-54c9c1dd2371.jpg?v=1571611151 Did you tell him he could play with that paint? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291108 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291108_mounted_1affff9a-eab4-42c8-815c-6cf934632712.jpg?v=1571611151 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291109 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291109_mounted_91af3061-0e0d-467a-9b13-b4fe97c76581.jpg?v=1571611151 How’s your hay fever, Mother? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291110 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291110_mounted_80033361-3ae2-4cd2-a2a8-a05be71d4b40.jpg?v=1571611151 Mr. Picasso, I’ll be able to work only a half-day Thursday. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291112 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291112_mounted_5d4c84ed-afa9-4505-9449-2c71e98ceff9.jpg?v=1571611151 If you order the chili, I need to know your next-of-kin. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291113 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291113_mounted_2b81be7d-7cff-4326-a468-b5421c29b83b.jpg?v=1571611151 I told you not to marry her. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291114 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291114_mounted_7755811a-cddb-4447-928f-c256cf137c01.jpg?v=1571611151 How much is $17 worth in Portugal? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291115 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291115_mounted_5b02b743-34bf-4952-a2dd-e6525105af5c.jpg?v=1571611151 OK, buddy. Let me see your license. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291116 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291116_mounted_8bca1582-54ab-4a40-a067-a557bfcf8a1c.jpg?v=1571611152 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291117 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291117_mounted_1119a3f5-ae30-45ef-a217-88bffad7013e.jpg?v=1571611152 It’s either two guys carrying a canoe or a long horse wearing sneakers. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291119 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291119_mounted_d4fedf75-b626-45e3-aaf1-4a6bb459badd.jpg?v=1571611152 He’s never far from his stamp collection. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291120 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291120_mounted_9121ffec-b393-4af8-81a0-a8d30e3051d5.jpg?v=1571611152 It’s OK, officer. She’s looking for the emergency brake. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291121 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291121_mounted_72fe3a44-0856-49af-b0fe-20137ae83f10.jpg?v=1571611152 We’ve got to leave in four hours. Here’s your lipstick! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291122 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291122_mounted_238cbe28-6cca-4005-8897-ba7fbf2fa086.jpg?v=1571611152 Sixty-six flavors. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291123 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291123_mounted_2def642c-f484-41a3-8bc1-97ccd415366f.jpg?v=1571611152 We’re still married, but we’re separated. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291124 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291124_mounted_ca05c389-d3ef-4673-bdf4-77a1befde932.jpg?v=1571611152 If you hadn’t been hiding behind the bushes, I wouldn’t have been speeding. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291126 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291126_mounted_fc12f07b-1a7b-41a7-a0a2-4b619f600111.jpg?v=1571611152 I’m collecting for Muggers Anonymous. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291127 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291127_mounted.jpg?v=1571611152 I warned you about pulling out gray hairs. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291128 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291128_mounted_22228ca9-6d6a-46e0-b578-8b3062d1199a.jpg?v=1571611152 He’s a speed-reader. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291129 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291129_mounted_b0b710c0-4566-42ff-aad9-304261097a6e.jpg?v=1571611152 My money’s on him. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291130 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291130_mounted_d6d46182-1ed2-434f-8d4b-ef878ba36edf.jpg?v=1571611152 Dozen long-stemmed roses. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291201 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291201_mounted_fd9cead8-6d05-4b0e-853d-ac2805bc9231.jpg?v=1571611152 I’m sorry. What more can I say! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291203 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291203_mounted_d60b227f-fc94-42ec-b82a-de0b156baabc.jpg?v=1571611152 I don’t know how long I’ve been waiting. He’s got my watch. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291204 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291204_mounted_2b9b2ae3-f35c-4fab-bfdb-8e0549e4780b.jpg?v=1571611152 I’ll need a full-length photograph with this loan application. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291205 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291205_mounted_23aa865f-c42b-4e65-95c3-191d3c80a111.jpg?v=1571611152 I don’t suppose you’ve got a bottle of Thousand Island salad dressing in your pocket, do you? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291206 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291206_mounted_18b41e0b-628b-4f31-b1c2-3304d6320d13.jpg?v=1571611152 Mind if we play through? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291207 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291207_mounted_6f19033a-f203-40aa-a3f9-fa45ff8e108c.jpg?v=1571611152 This toaster’s gotta go back! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291208 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291208_mounted.jpg?v=1571611152 Let me put it this way… for your weight you should be thirty-seven feet tall. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291210 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291210_mounted.jpg?v=1571611152 Okay, we need volunteers to play ‘Beat the Croc.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291211 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291211_mounted_4e403007-105b-4fbb-9150-d3505a4a414b.jpg?v=1571611152 The museum does not require you to wash the 5,000-year-old jugs. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291212 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291212_mounted_750991ea-87bc-4d7f-8bd9-03975bf96c3e.jpg?v=1571611152 I recommend the ketchup. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291213 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291213_mounted_eeab84c8-0c09-4e04-9b6d-eb4e703832f0.jpg?v=1571611152 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291214 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291214_mounted_d3a24be6-5446-498c-9faa-03560b62141c.jpg?v=1571611153 Now do you believe me Herman?… is that a sand-trap or is that a sand-trap?! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291215 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291215_mounted_ec032884-5a96-403e-8dc9-a01bc0ce207b.jpg?v=1571611153 I can imagine the fuss you’d make if I walked around dressed like that! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291217 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291217_mounted_84f85739-5da7-4d1f-9c87-9008ea4ef059.jpg?v=1571611153 You’d better get a good grip on that net, Herman. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291218 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291218_mounted_33eed1e7-28c6-4d34-b774-69cdb384e187.jpg?v=1571611153 No, no, no! Two is load… THREE is fire! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291219 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291219_mounted_57905877-721c-4e7e-87b1-c26784321637.jpg?v=1571611153 Whadyer mean we don’t need any brushes?! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291220 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291220_mounted_ae8ef80d-ec0f-4563-8d19-cf6902aaf0cb.jpg?v=1571611153 Whadyer mean the needle’s broken off? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291221 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291221_mounted_b406dfee-69bc-4446-bc4e-193885ab7469.jpg?v=1571611153 Imagine those crooks wanting eleven bucks to fix this! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291222 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291222_mounted_d1f34ae0-6c16-452d-9a23-e6abbd3745b3.jpg?v=1571611153 I’ll give you two clues: We get Wild Kingdom on every channel and the cat’s missing. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291224 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291224_mounted_9034bcf6-7b32-43af-9ab2-01832192f8db.jpg?v=1571611153 Don’t go too far tonight — you’ll miss ‘Seinfeld.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291225 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291225_mounted_f917c761-b6a6-41e6-aa1e-cd2bf22fd14b.jpg?v=1571611153 Nice work Spike, you’ve hurt his arm. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291226 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291226_mounted_653ae442-63a4-48f0-8b20-4e4a5ff14655.jpg?v=1571611153 Take your foot off the stupid brake! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291227 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291227_mounted_9b56e022-948e-4406-b346-4f1309c48067.jpg?v=1571611153 Why doesn’t he throw it at the one who cooks it? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291228 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291228_mounted_d61ab7bd-4787-4335-bbe1-f9e7b2328abb.jpg?v=1571611153 Two weeks of jogging and so far he’s made it to the front door. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291229 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291229_mounted_ddf21cc7-e483-4f03-a15f-3562e06ce398.jpg?v=1571611153 I don’t care if you did miss the last bus… GET OFF. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm291231 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm291231_mounted_109dc55c-9ca5-481e-a5e5-22d16f72c424.jpg?v=1571611153 If she has one more birthday, this whole place is gonna go up! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300101 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300101_mounted_098c1179-e39f-41bd-8be5-abc99ddcf8e5.jpg?v=1571611153 Can you remember where I bought this suit? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300102 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300102_mounted_1ce54507-6620-4858-bbbb-05232b8b3b0b.jpg?v=1571611153 I appreciate you’ve got a wife and six kids but you can’t wash apartment windows in that rig. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300103 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300103_mounted_f192725b-4e6f-4312-85a9-fe561240b66a.jpg?v=1571611153 Father, I cannot tell a lie… George Washington did it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300104 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300104_mounted_df7371e7-9f25-44d4-beb5-9324116b4235.jpg?v=1571611153 What’s the chances of time off for good behavior? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300105 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300105_mounted_e55d1a49-de32-461d-be95-1f8c59e9ee31.jpg?v=1571611153 They think of everything… That’s in case you forget your key. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300107 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300107_mounted_10cf6b0a-5c2b-452e-b6a6-b4a3764c091c.jpg?v=1571611153 Isn’t it time he went to bed? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300108 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300108_mounted_b7394e6b-e4dd-483e-bcc2-9d415434751b.jpg?v=1571611153 It’s done wonders for his self-confidence since we had his teeth capped. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300109 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300109_mounted_fac76270-0d10-48f1-a0cb-610f48228b9a.jpg?v=1571611153 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300110 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300110_mounted_fd681a07-80a1-47a2-909b-346b074122f2.jpg?v=1571611153 Just half your money… I got an arrangement with the guy in the next bush! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300111 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300111_mounted.jpg?v=1571611153 I just spent $8,000 having this room sound proofed. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300112 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300112_mounted_67da5a7d-e49f-43d5-bc9f-b95b44e71b4b.jpg?v=1571611153 Will that do? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300114 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300114_mounted_12301643-0e48-4619-b3f5-5699497051cf.jpg?v=1571611153 At a time when everybody’s supposed to be conserving energy… you’re certainly doing your bit. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300115 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300115_mounted.jpg?v=1571611154 Nice try! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300116 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300116_mounted_fb60358b-60e4-46e9-b4b0-3107d9f8c158.jpg?v=1571611154 Don’t take any notice… He’s trying to quit smoking. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300117 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300117_mounted.jpg?v=1571611154 Herman’s so considerate when I’m sick… brought the washer and dryer up to the bedroom. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300118 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300118_mounted_a8cbfbf3-ed33-41f1-8011-433e07f82406.jpg?v=1571611154 What did you spoil his tiger trap for? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300119 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300119_mounted_69eadfb2-6669-444b-907a-a3ec7ea1423e.jpg?v=1571611154 He’s doing two weeks ‘solitary’! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300121 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300121_mounted_e6aec129-903a-4a90-ad10-0cfacd54b692.jpg?v=1571611154 Forgive the intrusion… I wonder if you’d mind telling the janitor the elevator’s stuck? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300122 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300122_mounted.jpg?v=1571611154 No I don’t know what sort it is but all my instincts tell me we should be about forty miles away when it hatches. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300123 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300123_mounted_b480ed78-20f8-4e64-bf91-e1f51afe4309.jpg?v=1571611154 Okay that’s it… that’s the last time he watches Jackie Chan! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300124 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300124_mounted_82880f80-bd92-4b18-97a6-8b0586bb22c9.jpg?v=1571611154 How do you want your eggs… black or dark brown? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300125 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300125_mounted_c2def691-d559-4f9a-9198-405dc1356c83.jpg?v=1571611154 What was that? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300126 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300126_mounted_d893cd39-490a-4507-b158-4efb17a2366f.jpg?v=1571611154 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300128 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300128_mounted_0346d93b-46ff-445f-ae7e-3620283f2566.jpg?v=1571611154 They’ve cured my arthritis! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300129 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300129_mounted_a5799a51-561b-400f-907c-6e49ee0d2f53.jpg?v=1571611154 Testing… testing… one, two, three. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300130 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300130_mounted_ae916f8c-45c0-4e24-b15c-5cb54de25f1d.jpg?v=1571611154 What are the chances of becoming a pirate? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300131 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300131_mounted_5bb3ae0f-4120-4e0e-9d60-ef27189b4f2b.jpg?v=1571611154 Will you quit shouting ‘land on the starboard beam’ while we’re in port! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300201 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300201_mounted_b7f717f0-a525-41eb-9f1e-e99be9cdd4ea.jpg?v=1571611154 Take it easy with him — his wife just had triplets. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300202 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300202_mounted_aae1ba81-b0d7-469a-842f-fe47847f7797.jpg?v=1571611154 Has he had his dinner? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300204 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300204_mounted_7f373656-aaa3-49a3-a172-d97aac12fb29.jpg?v=1571611154 Go across the square, pass the nurse’s residence, up the steps, through the main lobby and second door on your left. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300205 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300205_mounted_13d0dfa6-3c52-4519-9e9a-038a2590d191.jpg?v=1571611154 Now don’t start practicing ‘til Daddy gets down the road… and I’ll pick you up in two hours. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300206 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300206_mounted_3feb1cbb-51f3-4599-b474-c03029f26bfe.jpg?v=1571611154 You’re using my athlete’s foot ointment. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300207 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300207_mounted_b0cd665f-2c41-4708-9332-75d65b9c32eb.jpg?v=1571611154 Okay… here’s the results of your medical. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300208 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300208_mounted_3aeb532c-38b0-401f-8bc0-9e53ee14a465.jpg?v=1571611154 Twenty bucks I paid for this and it hasn’t rung once! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300209 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300209_mounted_d771becd-510e-4e81-b2a5-381ec0c78aa7.jpg?v=1571611154 Er, Doc… can he have a quick look at your diploma? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300211 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300211_mounted_a35ffcee-43a9-49e3-80ea-c187a3db5945.jpg?v=1571611154 How many times have I told you to wear your helmet? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300212 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300212_mounted_82195149-6c1e-477f-9856-9de0088897e3.jpg?v=1571611154 I wish you wouldn’t talk about buying a dog when he’s listening. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300213 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300213_mounted_ec206949-8334-4054-baf2-8d8c96e481fe.jpg?v=1571611154 Don’t sit on the bean-bag chair… it’s got a split in it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300214 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300214_mounted.jpg?v=1571611154 I sometimes wonder if you hear one word I say! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300215 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300215_mounted_bbc94986-518c-44f7-9c0f-298df58860d6.jpg?v=1571611154 Herman, your doctor told you to get away and RELAX. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300218 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300218_mounted_b3dc7c0d-fa0a-4df5-840b-0a9b8e17008d.jpg?v=1571611154 Herman, Grannie’s leg just fell off! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300219 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300219_mounted_b4ebb589-b58e-4754-a2b0-7f2357c2c75a.jpg?v=1571611154 Do we need a set of encyclopedias? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300220 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300220_mounted_a9390ea5-d9ed-4e4d-af75-e2337317d59d.jpg?v=1571611155 This is Herman. I won’t be in. The old lady’s sick. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300221 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300221_mounted_430ce4b1-5a42-46c2-b596-4ed21aca3ab0.jpg?v=1571611155 Next door wants ‘The Blue Danube.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300222 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300222_mounted_ca0a631e-30f2-450d-a7e2-336c70bd1fd3.jpg?v=1571611155 It says; ‘Come in number 10, your hour’s up! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300223 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300223_mounted_da719061-ba0b-4f60-a1ca-e17bacff0451.jpg?v=1571611155 Hey! Is there another word for ‘Verily’ that starts with a ‘B’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300225 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM300225_photo_1eebaebd-8dff-49f5-81af-8b3bf17ba3c9.jpg?v=1571611155 I know it’s your first day, but you’ve got to accept the fact that some customers are just ‘lookers.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300226 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300226_mounted_55753277-ed89-4e97-9e5d-7aedd711d615.jpg?v=1571611155 You wouldn’t believe how tough it is to get him up in the morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300227 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300227_mounted_f0a37f3f-e00e-4a68-8f20-938eb5754c54.jpg?v=1571611155 Allow me to introduce myself… I’m a basketball talent scout. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300228 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300228_mounted_1ba0229b-ed33-41f4-aa1a-ffe41349d161.jpg?v=1571611155 Stop complaining. How often does she get to see a drive-in movie? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300301 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300301_mounted_c5deef0e-85d5-4823-bc18-04b91ec94f11.jpg?v=1571611155 I’ll never forget the time you strapped me for talking in class. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300302 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300302_mounted_090484de-da2b-4f0f-b17e-c87d74cc1298.jpg?v=1571611155 Why don’t you wear long socks ‘til he learns to tell the difference? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300304 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300304_mounted_36875067-0055-4c4c-b2e8-e6f18c147f44.jpg?v=1571611155 He’s allergic to carrots. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300305 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300305_mounted_3904e7b0-0481-4940-91ff-d8c3dd1f8e63.jpg?v=1571611155 Did you forget to water my plants while I was away? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300306 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300306_mounted_f69e2eb9-32a6-4696-b775-317ec0efed30.jpg?v=1571611155 I make it three million shopping days to Christmas. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300307 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300307_mounted.jpg?v=1738095197 Listen, if we get this right, we’ll be famous. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300308 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300308_mounted_f6b292c7-181f-4535-8ea8-e9bbf3cd2330.jpg?v=1571611155 I really look forward to your cheery little visits. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300309 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300309_mounted_36bc4ea3-cf63-4faf-9de2-6bf33d3d2900.jpg?v=1571611155 One more ‘Olé!’ and you can cut the grass yourself. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300311 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300311_mounted_839b1a20-d564-4909-95d1-15b41d22d8af.jpg?v=1571611155 Well, now we know what all that noise was about last night. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300312 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300312_mounted_62cf4072-f725-4730-b3cc-d2092aa680a0.jpg?v=1571611155 Two million years ago, it ate nothing but caterpillars. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300313 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300313_mounted_c6eb2c12-ff46-4f1a-87d1-345167cbc33a.jpg?v=1571611155 Would it help any if I started sending your alimony weekly? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300314 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300314_mounted_92c9d073-5d4a-4055-a6b6-246dd6eeaa1d.jpg?v=1571611155 He’s kicking my seat again… I thought you were going to say something. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300315 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300315_mounted_4256d54d-9f8b-4e5a-95f9-4cd9b5b976b6.jpg?v=1571611155 Get your boots off. I just scrubbed the floor. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300316 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300316_mounted_83a413c5-4528-4991-8b78-a42f5a4d2f83.jpg?v=1571611155 My ‘Secrets of Life’ are now available on Blu-ray for only $9.95. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300318 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300318_mounted.jpg?v=1571611155 Me and the boys were trying to guess how you spell your name. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300319 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300319_mounted.jpg?v=1571611155 Sorry! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300320 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300320_mounted.jpg?v=1571611155 Couldn’t resist, could you? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300321 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300321_mounted.jpg?v=1571611155 Listen, there’s nothing in my contract about walking back with ten coffees and eight hamburgers! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300322 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300322_mounted.jpg?v=1571611155 Members of the jury, have you reached a verdict? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300323 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300323_mounted.jpg?v=1571611155 I may as well tell you, that’s the last one we’ve got in your size. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300325 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300325_mounted.jpg?v=1571611155 This TV dinner’s got wires in it! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300326 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300326_mounted.jpg?v=1571611155 That’s it, help him with his homework… at least we won’t have to worry about college. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300327 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300327_mounted.jpg?v=1571611155 Just you start something. My husband’s a karate expert. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300328 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300328_mounted_57e5b2a3-0a49-48db-9b3e-d4a606283e76.jpg?v=1571611156 I’ll come back later when you’re not busy. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300329 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300329_mounted.jpg?v=1571611156 I told him he needed more feathers. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300330 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300330_mounted.jpg?v=1571611156 Hey Michelangelo… I thought I said two coats of oyster white for the ceiling. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300401 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300401_mounted.jpg?v=1571611156 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300402 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300402_mounted.jpg?v=1571611156 Why can’t you dry your feet with a towel like everybody else? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300403 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300403_mounted.jpg?v=1571611156 I can’t get a cab, Herman… we’ll have to go on the bus! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300404 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300404_mounted_94b80a34-9c21-4d8a-b2dc-19ce11725745.jpg?v=1571611156 You ever known a day to drag like this? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300405 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300405_mounted.jpg?v=1571611156 Try to relax… he can smell fear. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300406 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300406_mounted_9fd7199e-09ee-4928-b15f-4a249a2a99ba.jpg?v=1571611156 Had any luck? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300408 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300408_mounted_c49d656a-01a7-4009-88d5-94bd2ea69946.jpg?v=1571611156 Herman, I can see perfectly well without a chair to stand on… Herman!!! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300410 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300410_mounted_06043639-9ea9-43bc-92cc-ae92baf8bcf6.jpg?v=1571611156 Whadyer mean you wanna marry my daughter. I thought you were my daughter! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300411 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300411_mounted_a2a7c161-976f-4088-a3fd-39818f2cc2c4.jpg?v=1571611156 You know, a brain like yours is wasted cutting grass. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300412 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300412_mounted_7aa3300c-37c4-4c4b-921b-405260af7bbf.jpg?v=1571611156 Well if we can’t cure it, you can always get a job in a restaurant. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300413 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300413_mounted_aca19b34-2fdb-40b5-92bc-10d9bca172b5.jpg?v=1571611156 Why don’t you buy it?… It obviously likes you. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300415 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300415_mounted_879cd695-503f-49f0-a4e1-dea8620a1cb3.jpg?v=1571611156 I thought you said you had experience in this type of work. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300416 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300416_mounted_c8906132-88a6-4866-af6f-7e2f6543b90e.jpg?v=1571611156 Next. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300417 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300417_mounted_a65623fa-221f-4a65-8e20-a1ed713274f3.jpg?v=1571611156 Boy! You sure know how to break a vow of silence. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300418 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300418_mounted_07c06da6-5833-46ff-b1a5-44cfadaedbfc.jpg?v=1571611156 One seat at the front and one seat at the back. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300419 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300419_mounted_db717d4d-1b7f-48a0-a210-e4c7fca50bef.jpg?v=1571611156 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300420 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300420_mounted_04694c7c-cbdf-4de5-8340-1cd0e14d58ba.jpg?v=1571611156 Will you stop complaining?! You’re the one who didn’t want separate vacations. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300422 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300422_mounted_1ceb725b-773d-4477-b395-79f4b7cfb05d.jpg?v=1571611156 I hope it’s not inconvenient. We’re your new neighbors. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300423 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300423_mounted.jpg?v=1571611156 It’s a guy named Columbus. it’s okay, he’s only staying a couple of hours. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300424 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300424_mounted_ae638b4f-fe10-4f40-90b0-253b6bceba63.jpg?v=1571611156 Good morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300425 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300425_mounted_98aaf60a-2367-4fea-93ba-4d2f11e312ee.jpg?v=1571611156 This looks good… Mexican Curry for a dollar twenty-five. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300426 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300426_mounted_8edb080f-4db4-4ad3-8071-642ece0be768.jpg?v=1571611157 Come and see what’s gonna do away with electric clocks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300427 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300427_mounted_69eba428-314a-498a-8c86-d8c6bb765011.jpg?v=1571611157 Now don’t tell me your old vacuum cleaner can do that. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300429 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300429_mounted_9aefff72-12eb-4648-be94-6869b8f614b9.jpg?v=1571611157 Come along, dear. Grandpa never was very musical. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300430 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300430_mounted_aa415c2d-4112-4fb4-bbdc-00ca1191d66b.jpg?v=1571611157 I’m giving thanks for hamburger. Give me half-a-pound. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300501 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300501_mounted_28d0dbf0-20f3-4866-bd80-17f2735ad1dd.jpg?v=1571611157 Your mother warned me you’d start complaining about your food. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300502 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300502_mounted_6eef3d74-b943-42fa-8e2d-533ce56bb560.jpg?v=1571611157 Nothing to declare. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300503 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300503_mounted_b8465571-dcd3-4af2-a75d-be27cf57ab87.jpg?v=1571611157 Don’t look at me like that. He chose it! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300504 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300504_mounted_130dc31b-5bae-4e9d-b646-748ac34c492c.jpg?v=1571611157 I know it’s three o’clock in the morning but I wanted to tell you how much I’m enjoying the singing. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300506 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300506_mounted_c60916bb-6e21-4339-905b-b63085b60ba3.jpg?v=1571611157 Is there anything you need before I go? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300507 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300507_mounted_6d36cb74-a586-4b46-8c26-a96e85d3c0c3.jpg?v=1571611157 It’s the cook’s coffee-break, so eat your dessert first. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300508 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300508_mounted_14409dd3-838f-493b-93b7-e10933aec002.jpg?v=1571611157 Is that your idea of cutting down to two cigarettes a day? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300509 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300509_mounted_59e45c74-2563-4f2e-9cd0-7408a5c22c75.jpg?v=1571611157 If I think it’s going to a good home, you can have it for twelve bucks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300510 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300510_mounted.jpg?v=1571611157 I thought you said you were coming home next Sunday. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300511 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300511_mounted_117049d4-37d1-4178-9429-b5e9e64316d4.jpg?v=1571611157 Just as I thought… you need a new picture tube! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300513 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300513_mounted_80fbb267-dd32-41ed-bd34-854010f89ba3.jpg?v=1571611157 I can always tell when they’re wearing ‘elevator shoes.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300514 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300514_mounted_5d8c66a5-ec3d-4508-a0f7-82b97786708c.jpg?v=1571611157 Keep in mind you’re a guest on this bench. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300515 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300515_mounted_76a6f4e8-ba90-4f4a-bf54-520e93413396.jpg?v=1571611157 I know you’re in bed with the flu, but I need the keys to the filing cabinet. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300516 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300516_mounted_c7af4fb5-5ccb-4f66-8318-406d45714935.jpg?v=1571611157 I plugged it in to see if you’d fixed it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300517 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300517_mounted_6838b263-8932-4efd-a473-4fdf5461c845.jpg?v=1571611157 I thought while I was getting the fuses, I’d pick up a few groceries. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300518 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300518_mounted_5a0bd306-b46c-4727-9688-90760ddfadfa.jpg?v=1571611157 I don’t care how much he likes The Little Mermaid, I wanna watch baseball. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300520 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300520_mounted_a520f6fc-2e18-484c-9f03-1cdffe78f9cb.jpg?v=1571611157 Ignore him. He knows he’s due for his annual shots. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300523 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300523_mounted_f1309d7c-09ee-4d62-9dd3-36f109251ea0.jpg?v=1571611158 Be careful what you say around him. He’s not as dumb as he looks. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300524 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300524_mounted_00ee484e-9c0b-456a-8941-80c49800bb35.jpg?v=1571611158 Want me to check your biorhythms? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm171017 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm171017_mounted_e33df1b3-c348-4667-a11d-31550948fde2.jpg?v=1571611158 Can you send a tow truck? I’m about 30 yards inside the Lion Safari Park. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190621 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190621_mounted_dc0cdb99-7af2-4de4-9773-4665924fb57d.jpg?v=1571611158 Your brother got a job in a wallpaper factory. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210709 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210709_mounted_60337fba-53bb-42cc-86ca-c6a5d64150cc.jpg?v=1571611158 That too close? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210710 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210710_mounted_294f5b29-d2a0-41a4-b246-eb8f229feac7.jpg?v=1571611158 Rub this on everything within 50 feet of your house. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210712 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210712_mounted_99e3439a-abfd-4f18-a6cd-2d64f0c71116.jpg?v=1571611158 We have two sorts of pies: undercooked and overcooked. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210713 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210713_mounted_febcc59f-3752-45c4-9cf1-a20b435c481b.jpg?v=1571611158 I got a job as a night watchman in a mattress factory. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240627 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240627_mounted_49985521-8ec8-4ca8-9a3b-2a625ad3c544.jpg?v=1571611158 It serves him right. He’s bitten the valve off my tire! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240628 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240628_mounted_bac8de81-2510-40ca-b807-26952077b7bf.jpg?v=1571611158 You never seen a ham operator before? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240629 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240629_mounted_79cd8231-a681-4b4b-be4d-fd31491c15b4.jpg?v=1571611158 Special delivery. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240701 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240701_mounted_96b32f07-9433-474f-9dd2-159842f0b2ee.jpg?v=1571611158 Doctor, I’m not getting a pulse. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240702 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240702_mounted_ec5871a1-1230-4aaa-923d-326461362511.jpg?v=1571611158 Don’t eat peanuts. You’re drawing a crowd. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240703 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240703_mounted_304c583f-7109-42fa-b776-7b2ab315549b.jpg?v=1571611158 Remember six years ago when you left the gate open? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240704 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240704_mounted_348a898b-a9c7-4790-8f5e-77f2d39b6b0d.jpg?v=1571611158 Did you have to hang the food right above the tent? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240705 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240705_mounted_b3d099fb-1a26-4d46-a3c3-4ba0f0956825.jpg?v=1571611158 I asked you a year ago to get me some help pulling up that drawbridge. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240706 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240706_mounted_30a16df0-c0d7-43ef-aaa1-f3999a853bb5.jpg?v=1571611158 That’s nice! You show up and all the gorillas run inside. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240708 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240708_mounted_ae927908-0a16-446f-8ac7-d6565f9678bb.jpg?v=1571611158 Eighty years old and he doesn’t have a gray hair in his head. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240709 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240709_mounted_c469c644-06d8-48a8-975f-5a5d9a42d71f.jpg?v=1571611158 Watch this! This is where she hits her husband over the head with a saucepan. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240710 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240710_mounted_0ad4bb78-724d-48dc-91d9-9163acd5d40d.jpg?v=1571611158 This is a video of you two watching the video of our vacation. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240711 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240711_mounted_7f84eccb-9d46-448a-b0ab-235bacd93ca1.jpg?v=1571611158 That’ll be $64.50. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240712 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240712_mounted_1dd326d4-8f09-4f66-8e29-4f1102242467.jpg?v=1571611158 I don’t need to look at mug shots. It was my wife and her mother. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240713 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240713_mounted_386b066b-fbb6-40bc-81f5-35f03b7e4596.jpg?v=1571611158 It’s a buck-fifty for 14 hours. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240715 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240715_mounted_9eb0c4f6-81bf-4f69-a363-a12bff23d559.jpg?v=1571611158 Can’t you help me catch the canary? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240716 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240716_mounted_b4252122-595a-437d-a451-de45fe8fd21a.jpg?v=1571611158 Excuse me. I wonder if you would give me a little push? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240717 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240717_mounted_7a08728a-9cf5-4944-aae0-79bf413287a3.jpg?v=1571611158 Two round-the-world cruises in opposite directions. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240718 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240718_mounted_43b3c37f-0952-4515-ab49-bd777a0b2162.jpg?v=1571611158 Daryl… we don’t need a meteorite! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240719 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240719_mounted_d0d677a7-40bf-4811-a6d7-ccb39ba8e40a.jpg?v=1571611158 She makes all her own clothes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240720 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240720_mounted_ac033f18-5c4c-4cc3-ae92-2d4acb957c0c.jpg?v=1571611158 I wonder if they’ll remember you. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240722 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240722_mounted_f22cd911-d08e-4d91-8f04-1b953862a020.jpg?v=1571611159 You can have that three-legged one for $7.50. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240723 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240723_mounted_57b076da-2ac6-47a1-b9ea-b6cd960585ac.jpg?v=1571611159 Don’t kill it! It’ll fly away on its own. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240724 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240724_mounted_083f3425-a6f7-41fd-af70-7c61a69b56ad.jpg?v=1571611159 That jogging certainly seems to be getting your weight down. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240725 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240725_mounted_62f77bed-a7e4-476d-bfae-e8bb1508f88e.jpg?v=1571611159 Kiss him good night. He starts his new job tomorrow. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240726 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240726_mounted_01da98ca-e054-4fc7-a431-bdbd96307eb4.jpg?v=1571611159 Your driver’s license expired in 1914. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240727 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240727_mounted_a69fe1e4-2755-4316-ba09-f9c62175faa3.jpg?v=1571611159 How come the dog gets lean beef and gravy and I get a cheese sandwich? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240729 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240729_mounted_14b57b68-afa8-4ca3-bf4a-56eb265b226b.jpg?v=1571611159 It’s not working. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240730 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240730_mounted_12d40d32-307b-4032-8aa5-985fa9072c71.jpg?v=1571611159 Whose turn was it to put the dog out last night? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240731 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240731_mounted_45a02d62-dc13-4bae-b43e-d33ef86425d9.jpg?v=1571611159 It’s in the kitchen as usual. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240801 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240801_mounted_7a4e2b1e-a214-4aa5-a18a-50e55db178ce.jpg?v=1571611159 They knew how to build skeletons in those days. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240802 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240802_mounted_02a08e3d-007f-4270-aeff-94f7168d9ab3.jpg?v=1571611159 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240803 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240803_mounted_4a37a5db-a0d7-4b1e-a365-800faa472bed.jpg?v=1571611159 He’s got my tuna fish sandwiches again! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240805 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240805_mounted_207e556f-2e1e-4c42-a5e7-27ecc3b0c6b5.jpg?v=1571611159 Now he’s scratching the furniture with his teeth. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240806 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240806_mounted_07577537-f040-48ea-9912-843687c81d69.jpg?v=1571611159 Listed kid, if I sold you a pair of roller skates, I’d lay awake nights worrying. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240807 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240807_mounted_8d8d55ac-b79d-4751-aef4-86a11765e4ec.jpg?v=1571611159 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240808 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240808_mounted_d9a284bb-be57-4f72-99d6-fcaece623007.jpg?v=1571611159 D’you wanna speak to the boss or to someone who knows what she’s talking about? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240809 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240809_mounted_6e1319ab-3c35-4551-98b5-456147c43f91.jpg?v=1571611159 Not the laundry! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240810 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240810_mounted_7c7907b8-942c-40e7-95a4-20a09ea41de5.jpg?v=1571611159 She wants to know what the pot roast was like. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240812 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240812_mounted_093c9590-c476-4714-970f-ac10a744d04f.jpg?v=1571611159 Would you say you’re ‘dogmatic’? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240813 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240813_mounted_57a4f21a-a06f-47f4-bfa7-172fe46860fb.jpg?v=1571611159 I told you not to plant it too close to the house. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240814 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240814_mounted_fd22da4a-de2e-4f29-a094-f3e473425331.jpg?v=1571611159 You can tell me now. I took the batteries out of his hearing aid. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240815 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240815_mounted_cefe2395-2978-4072-896d-ee915ce37bcf.jpg?v=1571611159 I don’t want my wife to find out I have an account here. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240816 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240816_mounted_668738f2-deea-4267-91bb-11988e33b469.jpg?v=1571611159 What’s the paint-stripper of the day? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240817 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240817_mounted_7404eea5-0f1d-4edd-abce-a14a12064f5d.jpg?v=1571611159 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240819 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240819_mounted_3dc7afb2-9ff7-471a-9c2c-182eb58ca6b4.jpg?v=1571611159 Good news and bad news. The good news is he won’t be scratching your furniture anymore. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240820 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240820_mounted_18747551-121c-411a-ae1c-a5af87b131fc.jpg?v=1571611159 You been talking to this cactus again? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240821 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240821_mounted_88505d20-9bf5-4fc1-8027-74b5092f3b23.jpg?v=1571611159 What exactly do you mean by ‘Let’s you and me settle this outside in the alley’! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240822 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240822_mounted_e6e61875-0ac1-4c87-8cc0-95a1533c5881.jpg?v=1571611159 Your room’s upstairs. The ladder’s in the garage. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240823 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240823_mounted_b7c246fc-502d-438a-b22a-a186151fbe49.jpg?v=1571611159 Let’s see. How much rent do you owe me with 17 hotels on Boardwalk? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240824 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240824_mounted_9d9d8dca-ca47-4cdf-98a8-274e70fb53fa.jpg?v=1571611159 We will now sing hymn No. 47. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240826 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240826_mounted_1e23ceb4-345e-46ea-9711-f6d57b459704.jpg?v=1571611159 It’s just as ‘Goldie’ left it four years ago. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240827 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240827_mounted_48ab769e-2ba6-4414-b713-cd36ad93f7fd.jpg?v=1571611160 That rotten dog made me a birthday card! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240828 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240828_mounted_e05bea1e-e26a-4e79-93c5-f8513c562adc.jpg?v=1571611160 Someone spilled a bottle this morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240829 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240829_mounted_8b04caaa-ae5c-4ca9-a0ce-4bab2758d2dd.jpg?v=1571611160 It didn’t look like that in the store. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240830 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240830_mounted_7c5c6c18-067b-486b-9259-a4ed761047e7.jpg?v=1571611160 I always wear my lucky hat for job interviews. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240831 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240831_mounted_860af41d-5e75-4eb9-80e6-e10d6014c715.jpg?v=1571611160 He wants to be a veterinarian. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240902 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240902_mounted_ee6c5adb-c57a-46e3-96e5-98d50c82e1a3.jpg?v=1571611160 George thinks they should consider releasing a few human beings back into the wild. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240903 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240903_mounted_f8ff0757-625f-484b-98b5-92d9ac5542f3.jpg?v=1571611160 Dad, if you let me have a credit card, I swear I’ll never use it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240904 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240904_mounted_d89e65ed-99b4-4c4d-8dc5-7c606ec62a39.jpg?v=1571611160 I’m gonna get you a Medic-Alert bracelet just in case you’re ever found conscious! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240905 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240905_mounted_db8bbdac-bda2-4dae-af6f-9af738df9cf1.jpg?v=1571611160 He was playing the violin. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240906 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240906_mounted_dd1fd236-b83e-439e-a933-e98e9a594d6b.jpg?v=1571611160 You don’t want us to become extinct, do you? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240907 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240907_mounted_a8a3bfbf-7f6d-454c-9e58-a6a566538df0.jpg?v=1571611160 I want to make sure nobody steps on him. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240909 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240909_mounted_85866079-3032-4bed-a272-9c972f4c3dc9.jpg?v=1571611160 It dudn’t get any better than this. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240910 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240910_mounted_f08253a5-3475-4878-a377-05b3118cd843.jpg?v=1571611160 His teacher wants you to bake a cake for him to take to school. Must be a geology lesson. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240911 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240911_mounted_f9a4e821-ff01-428b-a2a6-d138fa80a9f6.jpg?v=1571611160 Don’t forget it’s my mother’s birthday tomorrow. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240912 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240912_mounted_73794c4d-5812-4ef3-b7fd-223aca4ad449.jpg?v=1571611160 The band is not interested in your domestic problems, Wilson. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240913 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240913_mounted_814a6bef-cb4d-487b-9b58-59842f8089d7.jpg?v=1571611160 I dropped it in the elevator. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240914 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240914_mounted_35e7e39d-0aab-48d1-a586-9d8b7f1aa1ef.jpg?v=1571611160 If the house was on fire, who would you save first, me or the cat? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240916 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240916_mounted_1a22a684-7dbe-4bb6-bc37-6624d130e5a1.jpg?v=1571611160 Well, nobody can say you didn’t try. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240917 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240917_mounted_4489152c-4ba8-4133-9f98-efd83aa3cd23.jpg?v=1571611160 When you told me on the phone you were 42, 22, 38 I didn’t realize you meant your age, your I.Q. , and your shoe size. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240918 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240918_mounted_7f5e570d-08bc-4475-baca-fb489e8cb3fd.jpg?v=1571611160 I can see my filing cabinet. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240919 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240919_mounted_d6cfc25a-701f-4dd1-bcb6-115d923bc7a0.jpg?v=1571611160 I thought you said they’d fixed this thing! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240920 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240920_mounted_bd4df858-209c-4f86-8e10-e1628cd0cb50.jpg?v=1571611160 He wants a second opinion, Ronnie. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240921 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240921_mounted_b229efa0-08ae-4a15-957c-b1cc38e2ea92.jpg?v=1571611160 I didn’t know how to tell you before. The dog ran off 14 years ago. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240923 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240923_mounted_8f0551ac-7d1a-4f13-98f1-187b1c5a995f.jpg?v=1571611160 They’re all the same… As soon as I laid the egg, he was off. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240924 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240924_mounted_6476524f-38cc-4717-80c9-346e2264bf85.jpg?v=1571611160 When we get short of bed space, we walk around the wards with it. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240925 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240925_mounted_7c7e73da-f66d-497e-b82f-49092ca25a30.jpg?v=1571611160 Don’t keep saying, ‘I wonder what it tastes like’! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240926 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240926_mounted_e5bf4629-b2e1-4603-81be-1d2c40cada08.jpg?v=1571611161 What am I… 48? That’s the first time I noticed my knees bend the other way! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240927 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240927_mounted_1370f1b1-bff7-40e4-97b9-430b11016059.jpg?v=1571611161 If it’s for your wife, sir, I’d suggest crushed velvet. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240928 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240928_mounted_ddbf4d84-b273-47e6-b4d4-5b4b481d4483.jpg?v=1571611161 His family flew in for a visit. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240930 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240930_mounted_a08a366a-2f7a-43eb-ae81-95a1fe55e6e1.jpg?v=1571611161 He loves Chinese food. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241001 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241001_mounted_fa4fd061-2d5a-403b-bc64-9a0598ea7e9c.jpg?v=1571611161 Your boss wants to hear you cough. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241002 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241002_mounted_f6624891-0e36-45d3-bc20-b2f5407b3cfb.jpg?v=1571611161 Isn’t he the guy you wouldn’t let in last week without a tie? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241003 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241003_mounted_566d3ebb-1696-45bc-babb-c759b0e1e904.jpg?v=1571611161 This may be out of your price range. It’s $2. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241004 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241004_mounted_eb4cc4bc-5b49-42cf-9a7b-b7b9bb47bae3.jpg?v=1571611161 Are you a good runner? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241005 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241005_mounted_5e96404b-f646-4bfe-83d0-407d61bc84a0.jpg?v=1571611161 When I shout ‘Gun’, duck. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241007 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241007_mounted_3807b8fd-f73c-4c6f-8e4f-c142f8ce9989.jpg?v=1571611161 Where does he take the driving test? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241102 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241102_mounted_f6959665-cfc5-45db-99e3-92ebc8ebc1d3.jpg?v=1571611161 Ralph’s poodle wants to talk to you. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241206 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241206_mounted_2ac6cb9b-bfae-419f-9c65-c6e323e401ee.jpg?v=1571611161 No wonder this pen’s got a lifetime guarantee. The cap won’t come off. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241221 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241221_mounted.jpg?v=1571611161 I told you not to wear that dumb hat. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241223 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241223_mounted.jpg?v=1571611161 Hey, poodle… sweetheart… How’s it going, baby? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241224 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241224_mounted.jpg?v=1571611161 Telling me an old man dressed in red is coming in here tonight is not going to help me to sleep. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241225 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241225_mounted.jpg?v=1571611161 Okay, cut out the creeping around. What have I got? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241226 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241226_mounted.jpg?v=1571611161 So you’re the brother-in-law of the lady who bought the dining room set. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241227 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241227_mounted.jpg?v=1571611161 Who am I? And what am I doing here? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241228 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241228_mounted_92a1b46c-3619-4675-b6a8-2014f7cf61be.jpg?v=1571611161 I wonder if there’s intelligent life on other trees. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241230 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241230_mounted.jpg?v=1571611161 He can hold his breath for 10 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241231 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241231_mounted.jpg?v=1571611161 I told you not to order tuna in this place. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270218 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270218_mounted_cc8bb5e6-b46b-4b5d-b8ae-cc0b9cbdeb57.jpg?v=1571611161 Pin these up in the kitchen and we won’t have any mistakes. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280114 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280114_mounted_f7c9f84f-9056-44a6-8522-60a9c56aeb3d.jpg?v=1571611161 We mark your ideal shape and the laser does the rest. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290116 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290116_mounted_6e3bbf22-3be0-4915-ac8d-825d27f08648.jpg?v=1571611161 When we get more members, we’ll buy a bigger piece of land. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290313 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290313_mounted_77756bd0-6e24-42d7-91e7-d0a80987a5e4.jpg?v=1571611161 I’ll hand you over to our washroom specialist. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290421 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290421_mounted_6d1ce1f4-1a1a-4fa0-b654-01a390dc7a73.jpg?v=1571611161 I cannot drive with your foot hovering over the brake pedal! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290830 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290830_mounted_4fe58a95-16da-4acd-9113-ce79205ed5e8.jpg?v=1571611161 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300409 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300409_mounted_e67fb658-3fdf-4f40-9f14-aa6b44bac054.jpg?v=1571611161 Listen, I gotta go. There’s a guy waiting to use the phone. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210218 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210218_mounted_219cbc5a-d191-48a6-9a9b-eca0b8b6a4a9.jpg?v=1571611161 Imagine them wanting a $5 delivery charge! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290314 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290314_mounted_9886e457-b303-4fb9-9b97-e50b5c47ecc4.jpg?v=1571611161 I just found out your lawyer specializes in real estate. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm140906 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140906_mounted.jpg?v=1571611162 All bets are off if you don’t quit laughing. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141110 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141110_mounted.jpg?v=1571611162 According to this, you’ve been having a back problem. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm141211 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm141211_mounted.jpg?v=1571611162 A truck ran over my cast! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160222 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160222_mounted.jpg?v=1571611162 Albert, the doctor says I need more exercise. I want you to start jogging for me. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160321 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160321_mounted.jpg?v=1571611162 A car or boat, maybe; but I’m not lending you money for food. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm160613 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm160613_mounted.jpg?v=1571611162 A 30-year sentence is not so bad nowadays. With good behavior you can be out by August. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170211 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170211_mounted.jpg?v=1571611162 200 miles to the gallon! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170217 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170217_mounted.jpg?v=1571611162 According to this X-ray, it’s stuck in your leg. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170224 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170224_mounted.jpg?v=1571611162 A guy tipped me 20 bucks once! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm170911 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm170911_mounted.jpg?v=1571611162 A bee won’t sting you if you leave it alone. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm180514 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm180514_mounted.jpg?v=1571611162 According to my figures, I’m 357 and you’re 358. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm181126 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm181126_mounted.jpg?v=1571611162 Albert hasn’t worked here for 15 years. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm190923 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm190923_mounted.jpg?v=1571611162 According to the computer, we owe the gas company $14. 3 billion for August. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201010 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201010_mounted.jpg?v=1571611162 According to this, we gave a 45-year-old woman a skin rash. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm201125 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm201125_mounted.jpg?v=1571611162 A spot of car trouble, officer. My chauffeur’s gone for a tow truck. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm210125 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm210125_mounted.jpg?v=1571611162 A message from your grandson, sir. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220808 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220808_mounted.jpg?v=1571611162 Abdul… will you keep that thing outa sight while we’re still in the oil business. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm220924 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm220924_mounted.jpg?v=1571611162 According to this quiz, you’re a ‘male chauvinist pig’. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm230330 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm230330_mounted.jpg?v=1571611162 After you’ve finished the baby, I’d like to change my name to ‘Lance.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm231214 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm231214_mounted.jpg?v=1571611162 204 lbs. on the left and 189 lbs. on the right. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240227 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240227_mounted.jpg?v=1571611162 A lot of men would love to be 7 feet tall. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240326 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240326_mounted.jpg?v=1571611162 385 pounds, including the towel. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm240417 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm240417_mounted.jpg?v=1571611162 $84 for labor! Wow, what an honor! Bill Gates changed my plugs. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241011 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241011_mounted.jpg?v=1571611162 196, 197, 198, 199… https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm241220 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm241220_mounted.jpg?v=1571611162 386 1/2… https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250123 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250123_mounted.jpg?v=1571611162 After you finish writing that, maybe you can find out who broke into my apartment last week. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250206 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250206_mounted.jpg?v=1571611162 After the commercial break, a woman who has spent her entire life making people miserable. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm250614 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm250614_mounted.jpg?v=1571611163 Air bags for pedestrians. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm251223 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm251223_mounted.jpg?v=1571611163 Alex… come up this end. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm260701 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm260701_mounted.jpg?v=1571611163 Aha! I knew there was life on this planet. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm261022 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm261022_mounted.jpg?v=1571611163 A whole boiled egg! So two years of cooking classes finally paid off. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270407 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270407_mounted.jpg?v=1571611163 About 150 miles. What about you? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270430 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm270430_mounted.jpg?v=1571611163 Alcoholics Annonymous called… since you’ve been on ‘Park Patrol’, they’ve tripled their membership! https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm280630 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm280630_mounted.jpg?v=1571611163 A little dessert, not a little desert. https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm290119 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm290119_mounted.jpg?v=1571611163 A what? https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm300216 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm300216_mounted.jpg?v=1571611163 A-B-C-E… G. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm741213 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM741213.jpg?v=1571611163 … it was last Christmas, I asked my wife to send me a cake with a file in it… https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm770226 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM770226.jpg?v=1571611163 A truck ran over my cast! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm780112 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM780112.jpg?v=1571611163 Don’t ask me ‘what for’ you idiot! Just hang around here and whistle at the customers when they leave. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm780928 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM780928.jpg?v=1571611163 A car or boat, maybe; but I’m not lending you money for food. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm790113 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM790113.jpg?v=1571611163 $84 for labor! Wow, what an honor! Johnny Carson changed my plugs. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm791013 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM791013.jpg?v=1571611163 A guy tipped me 20 bucks once! https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm800312 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM800312_9431e195-b8db-468e-9d14-811e7660819a.jpg?v=1605019108 Wake up. The cat’s got your teeth. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm810121 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM810121.jpg?v=1571611163 NO CAPTION, Library, Silence https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm810514 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM810514_ab596d0b-2eaa-4a98-a8b7-d392490a134f.jpg?v=1604858374 According to my figures, I’m 357 and you’re 358. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm811126 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM811126.jpg?v=1571611163 Albert hasn’t worked here for 15 years. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm830727 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM830727.jpg?v=1571611163 A vote for me is a vote for the small businessman. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840111 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840111.jpg?v=1571611163 According to this, we gave a 45-year-old woman a skin rash. https://laughingstock.com/products/original_hm840425 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM840425.jpg?v=1571611163 A message from your grandson, sir. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm131209 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM131209_LR_2272209d-1af0-491a-a8db-5cd93afd8201.jpg?v=1571611163 I don’t think you’re strong enough to get out of bed yet. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm131210 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM131210_LR_d1be89ff-f95e-43a9-9c98-4f6a397327a6.jpg?v=1571611163 I thought you liked liver! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm131211 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM131211_LR_77324cfe-7342-498c-8018-9659aa351f1c.jpg?v=1571611163 He couldn’t find his cigarette lighter this morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm131212 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM131212_LR_af163389-9384-4363-a61e-c5a957614197.jpg?v=1571611164 I’m sorry Madam, we don’t offer an in-room buffet. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm131213 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM131213_LR_0d0fdee3-0f7d-443a-932a-efbc200b5787.jpg?v=1571611164 You say your lawyer bandaged your wrist? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm131214 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM131214_LR_1dd7d9f9-cd64-4da6-ab57-fa98f063cc35.jpg?v=1571611164 I suppose you know you’ve been standing there for over an hour and the toaster’s not plugged in. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm131216 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM131216_LR_f6bea5d5-b8d9-49a9-aa7b-4de11607a91c.jpg?v=1571611164 He’s not fast but he’s accurate. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm131217 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM131217_LR_0fca33ed-5f6b-4846-b23c-f4997a9241c8.jpg?v=1571611164 Send the speeding ticket to the car lot. I’m not buying it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm131218 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM131218_LR_efc15653-afb3-4040-af77-b8e6942b06f7.jpg?v=1571611164 I don’t see why you want a new TV when all we watch are the same old shows. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm131219 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM131219_LR_9ba06b78-4228-4986-82c0-c06c92290e86.jpg?v=1571611164 You can undress over there, but watch out for my rubber plant. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm131220 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM131220_LR_f7418cdf-117d-4197-8d78-5d9f13651c26.jpg?v=1571611164 Listen, I’ve got to go. That guy’s still sitting here waiting to use the phone. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm131221 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM131221_LR_db5ec723-d5cf-4893-ad7b-7338bf391cd8.jpg?v=1571611164 I’m not stealing it. I’m moving it closer to my house. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm131223 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM131223_LR_99386a1a-55a8-46ad-8363-f06c5c3e22a3.jpg?v=1571611164 I didn’t have any milk for your coffee so I put some white wine in it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm131224 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM131224_LR_4b1357e3-f212-42d8-839b-cc2c96b5ce9a.jpg?v=1571611164 You can go ahead of me if you’re making a deposit. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm131225 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM131225_LR_7c1cfb44-e357-4270-b1f2-919148174e36.jpg?v=1571611164 Got the waterproof matches? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm131226 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM131226_LR_c318988c-c0d8-428f-9cc0-85f8ffc6c692.jpg?v=1571611164 Anyway, when they opened me up, they said they’d never seen a gallbladder as bad. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm131227 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM131227_LR_78b435a2-258a-4e60-89f8-ddca9f5a9fbb.jpg?v=1571611164 I like a man with determination. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm131228 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM131228_LR_93a1df7c-db58-41c7-b2ba-2caea6d9396e.jpg?v=1571611164 I wanted to ask you what you thought of gun control. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm131230 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM131230_LR_734d50fc-adb8-4fd2-9b7e-39a4634cd219.jpg?v=1571611164 Try to guess who this is for… https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm131231 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM131231_LR_63d9284c-fa83-4c78-b3ee-f4229e7e095e.jpg?v=1571611164 I think I’ll sell all my jewelry. I need the five dollars. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140101 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140101_LR_64de9c49-7a25-4399-affa-2ada82bb289e.jpg?v=1571611164 I make it a rule never to argue about politics. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140102 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140102_LR_af5badc9-5310-44e9-908b-189299ff37eb.jpg?v=1571611164 Is that your idea of 20 pounds of potatoes? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140103 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140103_LR_5a509edc-61dc-41b9-ab70-30660eea5f36.jpg?v=1571611164 Oh no, he’s weightlifting again. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140104 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140104_LR_5d22b4fb-14ed-42bb-84c3-3c08c3683109.jpg?v=1571611164 You asleep AGAIN? I thought I told you to count the sheep. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140106 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140106_LR_bc05b416-aa66-4da8-b7af-112855c5264b.jpg?v=1571611164 What’sa matter with you… doncha like spaghetti? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140107 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140107_LR_ac11d86c-a5d2-413f-816c-16cc33b4169c.jpg?v=1571611164 How come I have to pay the same air fare as a great lump like him? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140108 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140108_LR_a8b64477-48ff-45e3-ac37-5e63352ffada.jpg?v=1571611164 As your Latin professor, I can’t say you’ve exactly made my day. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140109 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140109_LR_40e2f1d8-5a83-48b0-bd3d-84113743e3ba.jpg?v=1571611164 Oh, ‘elephants’!… I thought you said we’re gonna cross the Alps with ‘elegance.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140110 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140110_LR_ccd20402-e54d-427c-8e11-808c6bf436c1.jpg?v=1571611164 It’s hard to believe you’ve never put up wallpaper before. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140111 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140111_LR_7a92e730-662b-4646-92eb-299cfef98e17.jpg?v=1571611164 I said ‘I wanna marry your daughter when I get some money’ and he gave me twenty bucks. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140113 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140113_LR_fab94800-a7b9-47e2-8f60-2fe41138b3f9.jpg?v=1571611164 Sure, I’d love a second honeymoon… who with? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140114 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140114_LR_6b5768ee-dec1-462f-8569-10f18ab79cf0.jpg?v=1571611164 Now you two! No fighting over the last cupcake. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140115 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140115_LR_2c0df2e2-0d2d-488f-ba4b-f83d83fa1aff.jpg?v=1571611164 Now don’t forget what the judge said about getting violent if you lose. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140116 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140116_LR_e50a5471-472e-4964-b554-4c7815caa75f.jpg?v=1571611164 When I said I wanted a ‘rare’ steak, I didn’t mean one that took two hours to find. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140117 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140117_LR_182af89e-fbe6-4532-b85c-96221bf4bd6a.jpg?v=1571611164 Will you quit arguing and give me my seven iron. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140118 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140118_LR_0fce8a29-8df1-4328-b70c-de4f0906af6e.jpg?v=1571611165 It’ll take you a couple of days to get used to them. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140120 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140120_LR_c844938c-baaa-4583-b3ac-bd9331b857fb.jpg?v=1571611165 There’s absolutely NOTHING on my mind… and anyway I don’t want to talk about it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140121 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140121_LR_e0b09456-ed64-46bc-b774-0a77861847da.jpg?v=1571611165 Sounds like a power struggle between the spaghetti and the pickled onions. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140122 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140122_LR_24ea7647-f73f-40bc-989b-a0c05bb08aca.jpg?v=1571611165 Wouldn’t be your style to use a rolled-up newspaper, would it? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140123 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140123_LR_80c658a7-547d-4a6d-ba8b-0e2e86f8a0d7.jpg?v=1571611165 Of course you never lose your ball… you never hit it more than a few feet. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140124 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140124_LR_72a38d85-a0de-4308-9cf8-1ed676a067e4.jpg?v=1571611165 Want me to wrap it? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140125 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140125_LR_c19411a6-1296-4128-a4aa-99c934d98d78.jpg?v=1571611165 Sorry to keep you both waiting out here. Where’s your wife? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140127 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140127_LR_dd39c790-46c0-4afe-adc5-3e8b06439611.jpg?v=1571611165 I admire initiative, but when I want a ‘funnel’ I mean one of these. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140128 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140128_LR_d496647b-da62-44d5-bd4e-9f506e1440ba.jpg?v=1571611165 Hey, it’s good to see you again. That medicine must have worked! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140129 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140129_LR_048dee4c-e512-401f-8d8b-cd74441c7c04.jpg?v=1571611165 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140130 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140130_LR_14653496-ea35-4719-a149-6727007c0232.jpg?v=1571611165 PREPARE TO LOAD. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140131 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140131_LR_e8fe11e1-67e8-4be6-af42-cfde3cf1f37d.jpg?v=1571611165 Hope you sent Jay Leno the bill for the lumber. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140201 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140201_LR_360ef2df-d4c4-4170-9539-e553593bb90a.jpg?v=1571611165 If I’ve gotta do typing and stuff like that, I want more money! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140203 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140203_LR_82149167-d62f-429e-92b8-deac566b8f9c.jpg?v=1571611165 Get up, you idiot. When I say, ‘How do you plead?’ I wanna know if you’re ‘guilty’ or ‘not guilty.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140204 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140204_LR_6a4bec60-5e21-4e75-81a0-b5a084aec1aa.jpg?v=1571611165 How much longer did he tell you to stay on this banana diet? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140205 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140205_LR_6ae1fb62-ebc8-479f-8393-38bc722d40ea.jpg?v=1571611165 We’ve won a ten-percent discount on a round-the-world cruise. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140206 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140206_LR_a415f927-220c-484f-93ef-ffe83bf025e2.jpg?v=1571611165 That new guy was supposed to be helping me roll this. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140207 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140207_LR_ea7eac20-3d40-433b-93b6-5622cb6305a7.jpg?v=1571611165 You wouldn’t believe it, but some people actually press their tie BEFORE they put it on. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140208 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140208_LR_a417ef3c-d713-49c2-ac4b-33d46c459b1d.jpg?v=1571611165 Haven’t you got a brush? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140210 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140210_LR_a3db6193-772b-4602-a506-4b4f78028709.jpg?v=1571611165 That’s why it didn’t come back. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140211 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140211_LR_49f7bf37-e072-4a2d-a3f1-948543957644.jpg?v=1571611165 We are now joining our regularly scheduled commercials which are already in progress. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140212 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140212_LR_c2720711-1f99-4b76-9784-a428dec97314.jpg?v=1571611165 Don’t forget I’m only practicing, so let me know if you feel anything. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140213 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140213_LR_3d92bb15-b9dd-4f1a-859b-70a237f7f30f.jpg?v=1571611165 Pretend you don’t know you’re on ‘Candid Camera’ and when I ask for a dime, give me five bucks! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140214 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140214_LR_339f4b93-129b-46ed-a4a3-1ef5d3841678.jpg?v=1571611165 Our ‘cupid computer’ has come up with two names. Ghengis Khan and Attila the Hun. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140215 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140215_LR_92de04ae-79ba-4a98-9ac2-3ed6c3fa897a.jpg?v=1571611165 Your four aces don’t beat my two eights unless you’ve got a red king! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140217 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140217_LR_aab83d48-3004-415a-aacc-227a69217277.jpg?v=1571611165 You’ve still got your seatbelt on. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140218 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140218_LR_707dcf80-d6e2-463a-9782-0055462ac002.jpg?v=1571611165 Your jack slipped! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140219 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140219_LR_51f7c484-1118-4bba-95ac-de0010218c91.jpg?v=1571611165 … and when you take him out at night, try walking a bit faster. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140220 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140220_LR_e708341d-384a-4587-9624-ce579986db08.jpg?v=1571611165 Going… going… https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140221 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140221_LR_9d92f32a-7228-48fe-9bac-9adad1d212f7.jpg?v=1571611165 No, I don’t need help carrying it to the car. For $440, I need an armed guard. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140222 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140222_LR_0f88a843-1783-4244-8ef1-884811f07af2.jpg?v=1571611165 I know it’s your first time in 38 years, but what would happen if everyone was ten minutes late for work? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140224 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140224_LR_8b861e55-1614-467f-99bc-4afa75ac0b65.jpg?v=1571611166 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140225 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140225_LR_b5d3fa20-e0e8-4f87-a4b2-0cdd591f7805.jpg?v=1571611166 Hold it! They’re out of season. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140226 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140226_LR_ab9e5926-c425-4b67-a5e7-711e2a4cbe50.jpg?v=1571611166 Try to relax. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140227 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140227_LR_f687021a-d7a9-4195-9fb6-777274b50d92.jpg?v=1571611166 Have a good vacation. I’ve decided not to give you your bad news until you get back. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140228 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140228_LR_e692b27a-051a-48c3-96a3-af78e964169c.jpg?v=1571611166 You’re supposed to say ‘I do,’ not ‘I’ll try.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140301 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140301_LR_91d5be5a-fea8-4bf3-90ba-5822601484c6.jpg?v=1571611166 Did you sleep okay, Herman? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140303 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/hm140303_400.jpg?v=1571611166 Did you win? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140304 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140304_LR_cac355e9-d053-4e19-b695-4f2404ab6e52.jpg?v=1571611166 I went for my driving lesson and you owe them a new car. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140305 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140305_LR_2815192a-ff9e-43d5-8370-deede5f70804.jpg?v=1571611166 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140306 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140306_LR_6b39db68-9a33-4736-b40e-e04849531729.jpg?v=1571611166 WAIST EIGHTY-TWO. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140307 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140307_LR_9b00099d-73b4-4371-8b4f-010e540f382c.jpg?v=1571611166 Would you like me to conduct one of your favorites? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140308 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140308_LR_220c991c-8cea-49ad-89ef-281e40000707.jpg?v=1571611166 You told me to save money, so I got the economy size. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140310 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140310_LR_2b2f6a8e-c42b-47cc-bd8c-f41e5f8ac374.jpg?v=1571611166 You can take it off to have your lunch. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140311 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140311_LR_5abd6466-6852-4aea-856c-4e35e96f227d.jpg?v=1571611166 I hope it tastes good. It’s for the cat. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140312 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140312_LR_90ebc8d2-e9c2-4a28-af78-18715a47976a.jpg?v=1571611166 Don’t argue. I tell you I saw its eyes move. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140313 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140313_LR_45a43e1b-54e6-47b0-b1fe-356107434471.jpg?v=1571611166 There, you leave your toys all over the floor and now Mommy can’t watch her favorite program. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140314 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140314_LR_9c143486-1402-4274-a4ab-b69a635e4f4c.jpg?v=1571611166 The man we’re looking for will be dynamic and aggressive. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140315 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140315_LR_039388e8-b3b2-4740-949d-9a394072abd3.jpg?v=1571611166 Show me that piece of paper again with the calculations on it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140317 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140317_LR_1ec69156-c8ff-4a3c-8d7f-d64b75b94119.jpg?v=1571611166 Do I get to try again? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140318 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140318_LR_9bca4c42-437b-4128-bc0c-fc2400048aa6.jpg?v=1571611166 So that’s your story — you ‘hate to be late’. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140319 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140319_LR_531b5c61-8fee-4e77-bb6f-191f5b179bdc.jpg?v=1571611166 What happened?! Did I touch a nerve? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140320 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140320_LR_8d85b66f-fb4b-4777-ab61-1c5f24a07f95.jpg?v=1571611166 SLOW DOWN… WATCH THAT PUSSYCAT… TURN RIGHT HERE! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140321 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140321_LR_94121bfd-a084-4478-ac04-1d970128a670.jpg?v=1571611166 Three nights in a row I’ve dreamt you were Dracula. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140322 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140322_LR_047de4ec-f8ff-44b6-b9e1-8be965daf531.jpg?v=1571611166 I don’t care if it is plastic. I could have had a heart attack. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140324 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140324_LR_8e8897bc-7f44-4dd7-9202-377482da1e19.jpg?v=1571611166 Night work! You mean when it’s dark? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140325 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140325_LR_fc74b528-79cb-4688-aec5-852d38e59c9c.jpg?v=1571611166 Have you got any others with more spikes? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140326 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140326_LR_a607abaa-8c10-42bc-ad2c-4214b410e825.jpg?v=1571611166 I’ll work my way up your arm and you tell me when you feel anything. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140327 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140327_LR_66e929dc-fe85-4b08-89a7-b1c113cbb941.jpg?v=1571611166 This is the third time this week. Why don’t you wear a T-shirt? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140328 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140328_LR_2d9a8dc7-1e95-4153-b9ba-40ee3767607b.jpg?v=1571611167 I read somewhere that expensive champagne doesn’t go ‘pop.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140329 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140329_LR_ccd9bf32-0317-4efc-91b2-62f4c913818b.jpg?v=1571611167 I saw that same look four years ago. He’s got a royal flush. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140331 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140331_LR_8af86dc8-1b05-4411-9657-2a61a3ee28e2.jpg?v=1571611167 I know I won’t be losing a daughter. YOU’LL be gaining a mother-in-law. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140401 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140401_LR_e1642e05-91fa-4af2-8a13-e59845c8e0a8.jpg?v=1571611167 Where did they get him from? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140402 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140402_LR_cecf0c8f-a8a7-409f-b798-931122a0d79c.jpg?v=1571611167 Madam, giving your husband ‘twenty years in the slammer’ is not my idea of a divorce settlement. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140403 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140403_LR_86075104-3858-43ce-9831-742280f65d23.jpg?v=1571611167 I was in the neighborhood and I thought I’d drop in for a couple of weeks. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140404 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140404_LR_1d6cba61-37c1-462e-88c8-3f850ea6c395.jpg?v=1571611167 The sporting goods store phoned. You left your hat on the counter. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140405 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140405_LR_dbd3204b-eb19-461e-9d54-705e443e2bf1.jpg?v=1571611167 Why don’t you start climbing out and I’ll keep trying the buttons. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140407 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140407_LR_d7b4e296-20d3-4966-8521-968e164d3a02.jpg?v=1571611167 Whaddya making? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140408 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140408_LR_6a836732-eaa8-464b-8d06-7640bca962b6.jpg?v=1571611167 STAMPEDE! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140409 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140409_LR_9197c3b1-6f8f-48a3-89f2-257ab709d786.jpg?v=1571611167 Shall I turn it off? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140410 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140410_LR_a9f370c9-a8d7-407b-84ae-dde4baed3893.jpg?v=1571611167 Mr. Henderson will see you now. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140411 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140411_LR_7b846ef6-d97a-4523-8bcf-e5444dc8e35f.jpg?v=1571611167 It comes with a guarantee for five years or until you use it, whichever comes first. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140412 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140412_LR_f412a815-fd3d-441d-97d5-f88cce5d7b29.jpg?v=1571611167 Is that the only way you can have a good time… smashing up public property? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140414 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140414_LR_e05c0605-4e42-48ec-a61f-4a9cfb314146.jpg?v=1571611167 I thought this stuff was supposed to attract girls. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140415 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140415_LR_b692f1e6-05fe-44c9-89f3-dd0e33bdc64c.jpg?v=1571611167 Stay calm… I’m gonna get a second opinion on your blood pressure. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140416 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140416_LR_58f92f19-2219-438e-ad13-0289bc72ce8d.jpg?v=1571611167 Sure it’s big, but it’ll do an average room in three minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140417 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140417_LR_f8c417f3-aa06-4a67-90ac-c49533854829.jpg?v=1571611167 Your wife took the new baby home in a cab an hour ago. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140418 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140418_LR_89f8f3bd-5e11-475d-a67e-272e95219cef.jpg?v=1571611167 I’m your anesthetist and he’s my ‘back-up man.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140419 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140419_LR_387b5491-5371-4546-bbd7-1eaa5e8939b1.jpg?v=1571611167 When we get back I’m having you charged with mutiny. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140421 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140421_LR_a09be600-cc35-45a6-9ca7-c9d6bb067f19.jpg?v=1571611167 I don’t care if it has got a bad leg. Get rid of it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140422 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140422_LR_f68ea927-ae99-443c-8f21-7c59a30cbbd6.jpg?v=1571611167 We want a gallon of paint to match our wallpaper. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140423 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140423_LR_2cd71757-9787-4e3f-9f33-46de9f003a7c.jpg?v=1571611167 Don’t get mad, but I’ve lost my contact lenses. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140424 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140424_LR_f1d8ba04-b77e-4f1f-b436-68d3386b6de7.jpg?v=1571611167 You must know how you got in there. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140425 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140425_LR_b5822846-5ea4-4dca-845b-3a107e52d589.jpg?v=1571611167 You’re certainly enjoying my little cakes. Have another one! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140426 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140426_LR_dff2c7fd-4d64-49d5-95b6-5dce3523c393.jpg?v=1571611167 I found him working in the stockroom, J.D. He’s perfect! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140428 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140428_LR_c359f046-87e2-4d59-b2ab-681d9bcb4ec1.jpg?v=1571611167 Writing your autobiography! Who’s it about? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140429 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140429_LR_4ba3df9c-55a2-425e-a3f4-8396f157d0b4.jpg?v=1571611167 Slice of wedding cake? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140430 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140430_LR_80f0aa8c-11f8-434f-b1d1-c9cfdb71edc2.jpg?v=1571611167 I take it you don’t want any of this cheese. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140501 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140501_LR_e7ae96c2-300b-4db2-bf73-33445476074d.jpg?v=1571611167 I’ll only be gone for a month, so don’t use the kitchen. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140502 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140502_LR_2d7b39dd-234e-4dd9-a5a7-4c1752d8cd55.jpg?v=1571611167 I make it a rule never to lend money to people who borrow! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140503 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140503_LR_bff76694-8e90-4d6b-8c81-4482eb072e41.jpg?v=1571611167 There goes my tip, right? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140505 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140505_LR_41dc3d22-a643-4cb4-bbee-f7b286cd0b2d.jpg?v=1571611168 Members of the jury, I ask you, does my client look like a man of violence? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140506 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140506_LR_9f485d21-d615-4b5c-911b-503705c7d53e.jpg?v=1571611168 You phoned me and said you had amnesia; don’t you remember? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140507 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140507_LR_0968bad0-d7f8-458b-8bd7-8267ea821497.jpg?v=1571611168 And if you marry her, how do you intend to support me and my daughter? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140508 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140508_LR_a1247fd7-318e-4aff-9914-314cbb2c84bb.jpg?v=1571611168 I’ve changed my mind. I’ll have a cheese sandwich. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140509 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140509_LR_01eb95d8-5565-45af-827a-1a2ecbeb36c5.jpg?v=1571611168 What song did you sing? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140510 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140510_LR_ffc9e366-4da9-408a-a2f2-3dd5d7c5cc0c.jpg?v=1571611168 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140512 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140512_LR_bf486420-6e18-4293-9e1c-33459f544870.jpg?v=1571611168 It looked smaller in the store! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140513 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140513_LR_80f6793f-0f7a-4e49-840f-2ba4e675881e.jpg?v=1571611168 Your plane’s been delayed ten minutes. A couple of rivets popped loose. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140514 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140514_LR_0d7fef7d-05ae-4271-85cd-03f6290bb919.jpg?v=1571611168 Saturday evenings with you are a real treat. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140515 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140515_LR_6c796209-4c32-4bc3-b53e-bbe36fdc79f5.jpg?v=1571611168 Wanna see the list of options? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140516 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140516_LR_25a95c7d-4d4b-4e2d-8e13-1f264f480936.jpg?v=1571611168 Don’t forget to lock up when you leave, Henderson. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140517 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140517_LR_2bf5e0bf-b9aa-4728-9d7a-8170a56c417b.jpg?v=1571611168 If I don’t get a pay-raise soon, I’m gonna blow the lid off this crummy zoo. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140519 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140519_LR_b51fb06f-efd0-47f3-86ae-0f30923520f3.jpg?v=1571611168 That’s just his way of saying he wants you to stay! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140520 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140520_LR_518068d4-d805-447b-8e9c-88ae28430340.jpg?v=1571611168 If you’re sleep-walking toward the fridge, leave the ham alone! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140521 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140521_LR_fb4964a4-06cc-4bf1-b8a1-a1e6512e0bc3.jpg?v=1571611168 Any other complaints? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140522 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140522_LR_82400fb0-8f43-4e03-b5e7-1578a2ec330d.jpg?v=1571611168 Size what? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140523 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140523_LR_7b42b89c-d6ed-45db-b927-e0fb0cd221d1.jpg?v=1571611168 Thanks for phoning my boss for a raise. Now guess why I don’t have to set the alarm clock? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140524 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140524_LR_68c770a8-3011-461a-b36e-c418e9686b2b.jpg?v=1571611168 You’ve DEFINITELY got the flu. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140526 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140526_LR_ca62d25c-c883-4ad9-8f56-6b4e9f01385a.jpg?v=1571611168 Just give it your best shot. I’ve got a team of doctors standing by. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140527 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140527_LR_1fbef0e5-a04f-4e1f-9e5e-badf3c942ea9.jpg?v=1571611168 D’you get the feeling one of us is getting ripped-off? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140528 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140528_LR_8bb221f2-18e4-42b2-bea0-902e474b7e78.jpg?v=1571611168 Tomorrow morning I’m having you adopted. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140529 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140529_LR_5a896c9d-4fb9-4c2b-b378-93876e8a1e63.jpg?v=1571611168 Will ya get a move on? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140530 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140530_LR_7646dbe8-65cc-42e3-9066-d391ff2714a7.jpg?v=1571611168 Two of these just fell out of the car. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140531 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140531_LR_55df860c-6b1b-4565-b4da-9765f2974319.jpg?v=1571611168 I only got one of those… you can have it for half-price. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140602 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140602_LR_151bb8e9-8556-4f2a-8cc8-6415f83e8a39.jpg?v=1571611168 That pain-in-the-neck’s out here, doctor. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140603 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140603_LR_3bdb4afa-0eb2-496b-a8a7-920b957d1ad4.jpg?v=1571611168 Did he make you buy anything? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140604 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140604_LR_0ff65e59-4522-4ebc-8e7c-4134183a72be.jpg?v=1571611168 One Hundred and One Ways to Rip Off Credit Companies’… is that cash or charge? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140605 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140605_LR_d161d0b0-5b4d-47aa-8201-6cf6541338a3.jpg?v=1571611168 Don’t forget to mark it ‘Personal.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140606 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140606_LR_9c137c03-1f2f-44ea-9a76-b913e5bf8a04.jpg?v=1571611168 I’m the babysitter. Where’s the fridge? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140607 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140607_LR_23c40668-ad2c-4fe6-8f55-88ba9996bebd.jpg?v=1571611168 When we say ‘parents invited’, we usually mean to sit and watch. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140609 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140609_LR_e5e00823-4262-413e-9240-e3e96b7a1871.jpg?v=1571611168 Can I use your phone? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140610 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140610_LR_1c1209f4-014f-43bc-a86f-08a380e92c0b.jpg?v=1571611169 I promise no more drilling if you let go. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140611 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140611_LR_6fd5e25b-1f07-4f06-ae23-b8e84f56e621.jpg?v=1571611169 Aren’t you going to phone the airport? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140612 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140612_LR_85799be8-01be-45c7-989d-9ba31d9ddc79.jpg?v=1571611169 Chicken for breakfast, chicken for lunch, chicken for dinner. What d’you expect? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140613 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140613_LR_e40ca01d-d565-45ba-9365-6d319e6b5fae.jpg?v=1571611169 Hey, come and see this. There’s a guy who’s been on strike for two years and he can’t remember where he works. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140614 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140614_LR_6709859c-471c-45f5-8a55-3b8a6ebf1a87.jpg?v=1571611169 FIRED! Does that mean I won’t get the raise? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140616 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140616_LR_f783972e-fa02-4ee5-bb07-db4436c412bf.jpg?v=1571611169 Okay, you’ve got five minutes to capture my interest. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140617 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140617_LR_fe018c83-ee29-4b41-90bc-ea31723773e3.jpg?v=1571611169 I’m trying to sleep. What have you got up here — a performing elephant? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140618 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140618_LR_71498ffb-3224-43db-ab7b-977f3cc15801.jpg?v=1571611169 Okay, who’s next? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140619 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140619_LR_d2317e56-b8aa-457d-abbc-4767a2936327.jpg?v=1571611169 I’ll be home soon; I’m at the Speedy Shoe Repair Boutique. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140620 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140620_LR_3a5bb8f8-7fe8-433f-b924-f1392c5a4239.jpg?v=1571611169 Pretend you’re a purse snatcher… I wanna try something. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140621 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140621_LR_f4711e09-4075-4194-9f67-3803b8d546b0.jpg?v=1571611169 What accident? I told you I was making bookends. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140623 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140623_LR_f8b5dc9b-bec2-4331-b93e-32ebca27c097.jpg?v=1571611169 Whaddyer mean, ‘Which one is ours’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140624 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140624_LR_5c57a3ed-378f-4da0-b8a6-23e1053d2078.jpg?v=1571611169 He’s never flown before! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140625 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140625_LR_ec7a6fe2-3f6c-4c3a-b8ca-99cb63bc2d6c.jpg?v=1571611169 There! Aren’t you glad I made you wear your seat belt? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140626 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140626_LR_fbe8d995-a352-44af-b579-18dc37102174.jpg?v=1571611169 Listen, I’ve got to go. Give my love to everyone in Australia. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140627 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140627_LR_d94e1b46-8803-4cb9-9e02-f6d35604f54f.jpg?v=1571611169 This is my nephew. I want you to spend the morning grooming him for your job. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140628 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140628_LR_4caa4536-6239-44b5-81f7-a7b46eb45bcf.jpg?v=1571611169 Have I gotta sit here looking at you all the way to the park? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140630 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140630_LR_d4172550-cf19-4c05-a513-a8a6a5539b61.jpg?v=1571611169 No, it’s definitely not the ON/OFF switch. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140701 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140701_LR_ace371a9-1da5-4e98-b918-7d27ad8af006.jpg?v=1571611169 Want me to get you a shopping cart? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140702 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140702_LR_b6cef433-f88c-44c7-9327-a702e6b06ce4.jpg?v=1571611169 What a stroke of luck — you being in the Army with the head waiter. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140703 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140703_LR_26a8757c-5fb0-4a9c-ab00-592e75be9850.jpg?v=1571611169 For crying out loud! If it’s that important to you, take the afternoon off. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140704 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140704_LR_3c7e594c-a401-41f2-a8cc-b4788c10894f.jpg?v=1571611169 Gimme the keys. Mom said I could borrow the car. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140705 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140705_LR_a89cbd61-1d55-4fb2-a62b-de13310bfd19.jpg?v=1571611169 Hey you. I’m trying to watch television. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140707 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140707_LR_5ea02327-6496-4fa7-98ea-6c499c7a913f.jpg?v=1571611169 Are you eating properly and getting plenty of exercise? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140708 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140708_LR_33006bb0-2ec5-4b06-8fcf-ddd7bea0409f.jpg?v=1571611169 He says it’s no use. He’s GOTTA do it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140709 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140709_LR_ec69b2b1-6779-4d1a-a35b-30949c6e60bb.jpg?v=1571611169 D’you realize we’ve been out for four hours and we’re not even on the third green? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140710 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140710_LR_577a7dfd-cc7a-48ba-bf62-3f04c97409a1.jpg?v=1571611169 Is that everything, just a bar of soap? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140711 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140711_LR_dd3ac249-23d0-4a54-8771-8cc9cdd26053.jpg?v=1571611169 HOLD IT. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140712 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140712_LR_8347e5c4-2c7c-4fcb-b436-37741dfdc3a8.jpg?v=1571611169 Onions… garlic… they all look the same to me. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140714 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140714_LR_565addc5-732e-437a-9283-b7e838a83e20.jpg?v=1571611169 Here, don’t touch the stick. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140715 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140715_LR_431827d9-1e4e-44ac-8538-2be3667cdadc.jpg?v=1571611169 I told you you’d planted it too close to the house. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140716 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140716_LR_b61f414b-8e3f-485c-8a86-2ecf7b09062b.jpg?v=1571611169 If you’re going to wear that coat, I think you could use a lighter shade. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140717 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140717_LR_d5437e66-c2f4-455a-a3f7-abf4d0bb0e51.jpg?v=1571611169 Did you knock? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140718 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140718_LR_39a87b16-aca9-4757-83b0-ddf0108a9b0a.jpg?v=1571611170 Why don’t you buy a proper set of headphones? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140719 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140719_LR_532ae746-ddfe-47e8-a757-ba0fbde84162.jpg?v=1571611170 I called earlier but your wife said you hadn’t got the brains to read these books. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140721 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140721_LR_d96b4851-d3f1-4e25-9483-a2a447bd7532.jpg?v=1571611170 She gets nervous when we use the new cups. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140722 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140722_LR_ac4cac74-da4e-4b3d-8461-215842c4229c.jpg?v=1571611170 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140723 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140723_LR_8dc9533a-9244-4a69-abd6-8d922cef4165.jpg?v=1571611170 Don’t worry, this’ll probably hurt me more than you. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140724 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140724_LR_3e0404d6-fccd-43ac-b0bf-aec3a0ebc907.jpg?v=1571611170 Okay, take a break! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140725 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140725_LR_b919fa84-fdfa-452c-b0ac-89bf49a29504.jpg?v=1571611170 The cat had a fit! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140726 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140726_LR_0bf0c08d-17e5-463e-b548-23be7f1ff783.jpg?v=1571611170 Commander, how does it feel to be back on Earth after six months of weightlessness? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140728 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140728_LR_ce60b83f-84e1-4163-928f-4e2aa5431d41.jpg?v=1571611170 This idiot opened all the windows halfway through the car wash. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140729 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140729_LR_c4cd444e-9d87-42fd-8202-a40b89c9ffe7.jpg?v=1571611170 There, let’s see a burglar get past that! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140730 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140730_LR_f9b19f5f-0c2e-4fec-9cd6-ebf4be5f0ce6.jpg?v=1571611170 Why do you always decide to take a bath just when supper’s ready? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140731 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140731_LR_cbda791d-c1d6-4d00-96d9-bb8d1810603f.jpg?v=1571611170 Look in my sister’s blue bag. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140801 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140801_LR_806ec97e-4383-4faf-8d3c-29a397ffbfca.jpg?v=1571611170 I know it’s sudden, but I want a divorce! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140802 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140802_LR_73badca9-7361-4214-b2e6-b7a6d75c9e44.jpg?v=1571611170 Who’s going to have their injection? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140804 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140804_LR_d8a0239d-3cba-4514-8180-880644ef6ef0.jpg?v=1571611170 I don’t think I’ll bother with a tan ‘til I get out. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140805 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140805_LR_9c26ca0d-476a-49b6-8d62-3a7f04c77593.jpg?v=1571611170 I’m getting sick of watching that water cooler go past at ten minutes after nine every morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140806 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140806_LR_2ba22be0-b862-47da-b8f6-37ba96ed8ce5.jpg?v=1571611170 You always said you liked it strong. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140807 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140807_LR_a6ecb385-db41-4071-bc7c-85b01c066210.jpg?v=1571611170 I don’t care if you are the boss. You tell him! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140808 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140808_LR_f413debc-f775-4302-92df-ed4adb689e2e.jpg?v=1571611170 Here, get a move on. I’ve got some big tippers waiting for this table. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140809 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140809_LR_926203d1-a52b-49ff-8f48-bb7ca4a7ae00.jpg?v=1571611170 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140811 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140811_LR_3007233f-6709-4371-9601-f9ed28af38f0.jpg?v=1571611170 STAY! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140812 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140812_LR_140f1780-5464-46d0-861a-3c2ebe15889e.jpg?v=1571611170 I’ve got a terrible headache. I think I’m gonna make an example of you. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140813 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140813_LR_737d3d0f-3024-4891-99da-14d7e04dcf8b.jpg?v=1571611170 Let me see those gloves. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140814 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140814_LR_e91ab85f-8705-465e-8403-6187b78be09c.jpg?v=1571611170 Why don’t you go to a proper dentist? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140815 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140815_LR_178b6a79-04c7-4e6c-b383-be7c206046b5.jpg?v=1571611171 If you read the instructions, dummy, you’d see there’s one switch for drying and another for styling. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140816 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140816_LR_1c7e4f92-e699-4f0e-b4a0-9b2c2e3d8f0e.jpg?v=1571611171 I think it represents man’s eternal struggle for freedom. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140818 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140818_LR_53320620-6fd5-4d8a-97c5-d55427869349.jpg?v=1571611171 You’ll never make the ‘bigtime’ ‘til you start taking credit cards. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140819 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140819_LR_79968dca-2f5e-424f-874a-de477ed5c532.jpg?v=1571611171 If you’ve got any screaming to do, wait until you get off the premises. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140820 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140820_LR_c4c35dfa-1e99-40f6-b37c-1ecb6c42141b.jpg?v=1571611171 Look on the bright side. You’ve still got your new captain’s hat. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140821 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140821_LR_9681c6d5-7c49-4e2a-a769-03f6cc8ef5b0.jpg?v=1571611171 I know he’s got funny feet but you haven’t seen him swim. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140822 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140822_LR_479c1672-271a-4e2c-95fc-87ba5cc82ab5.jpg?v=1571611171 I think it’s the TV repairman. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140823 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140823_LR_d9e93ee1-83f0-4cf6-9de3-768aea717e34.jpg?v=1571611171 Now, imagine you’ve cornered a bear and he runs into an abandoned house. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140825 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140825_LR_bea91e71-df44-4899-8dbc-e0b29acd15aa.jpg?v=1571611171 Whaddyer think, Ma, eighty-five bucks? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140826 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140826_LR_57b3ef52-e04f-43d3-aa5b-a9448f2c89ed.jpg?v=1571611171 Don’t you want your receipt? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140827 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140827_LR_78018fd8-563e-42fd-8940-c5e592982da5.jpg?v=1571611171 Maybe next time you’ll think twice about losing your key. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140828 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140828_LR_e1a5e77c-fa5c-4660-b1ff-9ae115ddc36f.jpg?v=1571611171 Ask him if he ever heard of a tortoise having a heart attack. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140829 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140829_LR_6dbaba2b-8706-4ac2-aedf-5a96b9520b24.jpg?v=1571611171 This is Blue Buzzard, good buddy; Smokey’s on the warpath. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140830 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140830_LR_007dd32d-7c97-4397-b90b-dd41c8be0599.jpg?v=1571611171 I suppose you realize your alarm clock didn’t go off and you’re an hour late for work? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140901 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140901_LR_7b7ffd22-b342-4b8f-a036-c203dc4180d5.jpg?v=1571611171 You’re looking a lot better today, Ralph. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140902 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140902_LR_feb2100b-80ba-4b5c-81a1-823122abdfae.jpg?v=1571611171 Whaddyer mean, ‘nothing to do’? Who do you think defrosts the fridge? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140903 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140903_LR_05adb819-f894-4c84-b042-d962bd5b52b1.jpg?v=1571611171 You getting athlete’s foot is about as ridiculous as a coal miner with sunstroke! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140904 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140904_LR_734902cf-be29-4c2c-a668-4607c2b2938e.jpg?v=1571611171 Have I got time for a cup of coffee? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140905 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140905_LR_be7a690b-ea94-465a-a985-f6d52108b98c.jpg?v=1571611171 And you wonder why I never want to go to Italian restaurants! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140906 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140906_LR_70be3139-57b1-4c08-8ec9-cb0a6bde421d.jpg?v=1571611171 All bets are off if you don’t quit laughing. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140908 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140908_LR_8ee65019-977f-4ce6-baf4-f332e14d9427.jpg?v=1571611171 The results of your tests were negative. Get lost! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140909 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140909_LR_292c0abb-ce32-4e3b-8e55-26abd355a0d2.jpg?v=1571611171 Why take a week off? You’ve got time to get married and have a honeymoon on one of your coffee breaks. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140910 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140910_LR_79e0b94a-7abc-4e1b-8691-de4ae03f4f9c.jpg?v=1571611171 That was a good idea, sending out for pizza while the elevator’s on the fritz. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140911 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140911_LR_a7c0f449-aaab-4547-87bb-a0c276cbe16e.jpg?v=1571611171 I’d better warn you. If my grades don’t start improving, one of us won’t be getting a new bike for Christmas. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140912 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140912_LR_fa56fe69-dc8b-4a55-a13c-5c146361cd69.jpg?v=1571611171 Listen, if you want to eat in the office BRING SANDWICHES! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140913 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140913_LR_3924e879-a23c-4be6-a305-a0e3223ba2f0.jpg?v=1571611171 Try to imagine how much I care! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140915 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140915_LR_f602c324-cf06-42ea-ba48-493d170e472f.jpg?v=1571611171 It was supposed to be Mom, but I messed it up. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140916 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140916_LR_67bcdef9-8c58-4da2-be01-086e091210bb.jpg?v=1571611171 How come I never get a copy of the script? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140917 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140917_LR_70b32b1b-8d3f-4bb8-93ff-3c78cfcd881f.jpg?v=1571611171 It just says, ‘Windows repaired — five bucks.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140918 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140918_LR_e25ff1ea-342e-48e5-9c8a-536b93e14df3.jpg?v=1571611172 His English teacher says he’s a ‘cool dude.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140919 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140919_LR_fe5394e0-cba8-44cf-bf5f-a7910ffc28f7.jpg?v=1571611172 There! It fits like a glove when you stand up straight. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140920 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140920_LR_2b71b664-570d-47f1-87b8-10b02409c0d1.jpg?v=1571611172 You’re fighting the King in the semi-finals, so just duck once and he won’t get too tired. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140922 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140922_LR_16269ebe-959f-436d-944d-503c39607f64.jpg?v=1571611172 As soon as my arms get tired, I’ll come down and you can have a go. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140923 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140923_LR_e3461dfb-4b30-4a0c-bdcc-d3fda2e94c01.jpg?v=1571611172 I’ve got two other applicants to see before I make my final choice. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140924 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140924_LR_61c59941-4636-4ed5-a406-93f0ef6ace94.jpg?v=1571611172 You must have run a mile this time — you’ve been gone four minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140925 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140925_LR_72d10487-d1b5-43de-8716-8cfdc071f857.jpg?v=1571611172 Even as a kid I was a slow eater. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140926 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140926_LR_f06f1f7a-9b3f-45eb-bf0d-08e1ab312e59.jpg?v=1571611172 This is your last chance. If you scalp this one, you’re through. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140927 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140927_LR_fe27e543-c6b6-4f29-af7f-508a6b1d8f22.jpg?v=1571611172 Yeah? Well if people look like their pets, why don’t you go home and look after your gorilla? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140929 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140929_LR_dd615ca4-5e69-46de-b041-1d37a1c34dd8.jpg?v=1571611172 Psst, boss. I guess this is not a good time to ask for a raise, huh? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm140930 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM140930_LR_6a957b3e-ca4d-4e0f-8ff3-6a4c4a8a015f.jpg?v=1571611172 How would you like to eat off the floor every day? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141001 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141001_LR_9575b371-f5d3-457e-8ddb-d1347a2bf39d.jpg?v=1571611172 We’re not gonna charge you for this first lesson. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141002 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141002_LR_4fbbe16c-52a5-4f2a-a4b8-05c2b2b79024.jpg?v=1571611172 Suppose we decide not to watch one night. Do you remember how to switch it off? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141003 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141003_LR_d6b2694c-19b5-40f7-97d7-ce5071764845.jpg?v=1571611172 My mistake! I thought I heard a noise down here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141004 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141004_LR_869410a1-53d6-4b34-938f-7c90f042178a.jpg?v=1571611172 Start? Start what? I thought you said you hired me to take care of the books. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141006 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141006_LR_f27b3c8f-cd1f-4ff2-a4cf-a555275f0d7c.jpg?v=1571611172 Got any books on dog training? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141007 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141007_LR_ea7882c0-938a-474e-8a63-b7e08ba3913b.jpg?v=1571611172 Did you shake the bottle? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141008 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141008_LR_2905cec1-e281-4868-8276-aaf0e7361008.jpg?v=1571611172 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141009 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141009_LR_39b1dbfb-53da-40ce-a504-5f8bb10f8889.jpg?v=1571611172 I warned you about iron tonic. Your stomach’s rusty. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141010 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141010_LR_e576d9cc-c9fa-44cf-b956-9620316bd4d6.jpg?v=1571611172 This looks good… ‘Mailman flavored.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141011 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141011_LR_532a10b3-551d-444b-b2c7-02646494a950.jpg?v=1571611172 You’re looking at it upside down! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141013 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141013_LR_af3a784e-ffd0-4c2f-b3f0-4e818cf2e9e0.jpg?v=1571611172 Don’t go rushing into marriage. Look around for a couple of years like your mother did. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141014 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141014_LR_3a7922e8-c96c-460e-a62c-161da5ad2d5c.jpg?v=1571611172 Who’s calling? D’you know what time it is? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141015 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141015_LR_037b5722-8122-454d-9f6e-8353da0e7cf5.jpg?v=1571611172 Can’t you sit still for five minutes? What d’yer want the camera for? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141016 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141016_LR_fd81f72f-021a-4a4c-8f1c-7445dd559488.jpg?v=1571611172 He’s getting better. He can remember everything now except getting married. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141017 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141017_LR_d3bd9839-4b5b-4d88-8815-ff0c459bca6f.jpg?v=1571611172 You’re early. What’cha do, catch the three o’clock broom? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141018 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141018_LR_201e91e6-4228-44dd-a7a2-75f86543efa6.jpg?v=1571611172 What did he mean, ‘Love is blind’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141020 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141020_LR_904280dd-6b3c-411e-ac84-64914693e4d4.jpg?v=1571611172 Did you feel the earthquake? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141021 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141021_LR_c1af057e-c860-4a13-b8dd-e67654eefb82.jpg?v=1571611172 I GOT A HOLE-IN-ONE! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141022 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141022_LR_6308ea04-16af-47a3-b24b-c82e84b36d9d.jpg?v=1571611172 Take that cereal out in the yard ‘til it stops snapping and crackling. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141023 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141023_LR_d933e121-9456-40b0-aff3-2aed6434dad8.jpg?v=1571611173 If you remember, I did mention possible side-effects. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141024 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141024_LR_e9b36477-6561-4346-9610-4002b424351b.jpg?v=1571611173 How come God put all the vitamins in cabbage and nothing in candy? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141025 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141025_LR_08685189-aefc-4a98-b021-54cf8c05bb78.jpg?v=1571611173 You’ve got Egyptian flu. You’re going to be a ‘mummy.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141027 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141027_LR_961d227d-26ec-45a1-acf4-fabf7d6ca1f8.jpg?v=1571611173 I thought you told me we didn’t give ‘cash refunds.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141028 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141028_LR_abc9cc63-1978-4a65-ac13-8c0acdd28a96.jpg?v=1571611173 I hate to disturb you at mealtime, but can I borrow a cup of sugar? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141029 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141029_LR_77a1a0a7-2e7e-47a3-bcb7-7672875dede0.jpg?v=1571611173 You’re washing the floor with tomorrow’s soup-of-the-day! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141030 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141030_LR_74f6089d-e7b7-4b6f-83d1-b2e4eec9ffb3.jpg?v=1571611173 If I can’t get a summer job this year, I think I’ll get married. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141031 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141031_LR_e9ce2a09-4c1e-48d3-ab7b-fecedbe8d836.jpg?v=1571611173 Don’t blame me. I was cleaning his cage and he flew up the pipe. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141101 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141101_LR_cfb50bc4-373f-4c25-8f37-af9752841638.jpg?v=1571611173 Let’s face it; if you’d really loved me, you’d have married someone else! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141103 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141103_LR_9bbba4eb-c365-4885-816f-83b43879d505.jpg?v=1571611173 If you want a concise, professional opinion: You’re as nutty as a fruitcake. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141104 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141104_LR_4c25af40-3084-4526-a6a0-1f33c33655ea.jpg?v=1571611173 You know, if you keep telling me about birds and bees, I’m gonna lose interest in girls. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141105 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141105_LR_4c31ec16-307c-4719-93ac-8e299c19a2aa.jpg?v=1571611173 You’ve got to start sometime. Why don’t you operate on this one? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141106 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141106_LR_92697ccf-0d96-4641-afc5-9ab43483d755.jpg?v=1571611173 Smarten up! Sometimes I think your father’s got more brains than you have. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141107 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141107_LR_ee9c2a98-432b-4435-96a4-4c2c97b3ed44.jpg?v=1571611173 He’s a self-made man. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141108 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141108_LR_43a77057-005d-459a-9209-1ec1f13e16b8.jpg?v=1571611173 That’s the second time you’ve fallen asleep in the bath with your mouth open. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141110 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141110_LR_b30bc84c-6828-43bd-9387-8bdb3d18dffb.jpg?v=1571611173 According to this, you’ve been having a back problem. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141111 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141111_LR_215bb2ac-b417-4594-bcc6-edbd67716dc0.jpg?v=1571611173 It’s nothing personal, Harold, but you make me sick and I never want to see you again. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141112 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141112_LR_16599eac-f9fc-445d-a44e-35fe240e2f97.jpg?v=1571611173 For a guy who writes his diary a month in advance, yes I’d say you were in a rut. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141113 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141113_LR_d58ca252-70d7-493a-becc-96e96b62f0d7.jpg?v=1571611173 You’ve got an hour to paint your nails and talk to your mother. I’m going to a meeting. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141114 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141114_LR_cea76f1d-8737-4b93-85e0-2da696ae3080.jpg?v=1571611173 How could anyone sit on a welding torch? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141115 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141115_LR_ce08e656-22f3-42e3-8a44-2eede108250f.jpg?v=1571611173 I told you I was smart. My teacher says she’s given up trying to teach me anything. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141117 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141117_LR_05c317b5-eea2-4c27-a385-0c30e9d83167.jpg?v=1571611173 Of course I care for you. Money and looks aren’t everything you know! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141118 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141118_LR_254cd087-8296-4270-859c-dd503fef1b1f.jpg?v=1571611173 Don’t be such a miser! Take him on the Rocket Ride again. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141119 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141119_LR_4d331154-1ac3-4458-9fe3-ce78195e3055.jpg?v=1571611173 Wake up, Daddy. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141120 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141120_LR_3349f633-2cbb-4152-ba38-b1e9d55804a4.jpg?v=1571611173 QUIT SHOVING! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141121 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141121_LR_e993b458-a5fd-4646-b7a6-e03c47748c30.jpg?v=1571611173 Come along, Polly. Let Mr. Herman finish his coffee. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141122 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141122_LR_69fcebf3-558c-496b-a501-4d07e118b8b1.jpg?v=1571611174 All the clocks have stopped! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141124 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141124_LR_3e953d9f-3965-4e72-b0d6-d48d9b3cf025.jpg?v=1571611174 I can promise you I wake up at the slightest sound. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141125 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141125_LR_9848b7e1-00d4-4b65-9e07-40bf52a48378.jpg?v=1571611174 See that?! I forgot to tighten the nut. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141126 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141126_LR_2cd0bf06-c512-4140-8d86-05a1664114f1.jpg?v=1571611174 Take it easy, take it easy. I’ve come to fix the window. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141127 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141127_LR_466bc9c2-be36-4b47-b4a2-5ae31719214a.jpg?v=1571611174 Whaddya mean ‘checkmate’? Get to bed. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141128 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141128_LR_0b9b9b92-fc44-4a60-9e97-81ca54965173.jpg?v=1571611174 Why don’t you let your husband go to the ball game? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141129 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141129_LR_26ed61cc-6524-4ff2-bcd1-771fb3f39874.jpg?v=1571611174 He thinks we’re muggers! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141201 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141201_LR_1bf1c137-e059-46aa-a6fa-8d363e36afb4.jpg?v=1571611174 This is the latest vegetable slicer from France. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141202 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141202_LR_db74c0bc-566c-4e9b-9de5-20cd1d2cb49d.jpg?v=1571611174 I’d know your scrawl anywhere, you creep! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141203 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141203_LR_558395fb-7d8c-406d-99d5-415de3f0d36d.jpg?v=1571611174 You’re my last hope, Harry. Can I borrow your dinner jacket? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141204 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141204_LR_6cdf20af-8faf-485f-8311-b7562c13f676.jpg?v=1571611174 Will ya take a check? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141205 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141205_LR_86828248-7a04-44d3-bcb3-9edae223f095.jpg?v=1571611174 This is my first day. When do we get paid? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141206 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141206_LR_f55c3ba5-ce57-47ce-b95d-f5b10cea8c81.jpg?v=1571611174 For the tenth time, I’m NOT going bowling. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141208 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141208_LR_ef4a74d2-bcc1-4da3-be2a-4c67ea6a7cf1.jpg?v=1571611174 Debbie looks exactly like me when I was 18. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141209 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141209_LR_10b68ad5-edda-4db7-bc16-032f0ab2809a.jpg?v=1571611174 D’ya like that blue? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141210 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141210_LR_455565e3-1bdb-4d63-9594-6f65a8cf383f.jpg?v=1571611174 I’ll trade you two future episodes of 'Community' for tonight’s 'Breaking Bad.' https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141211 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141211_LR_74f9d0b8-6e83-49de-bb78-6ead2f168e26.jpg?v=1571611174 A truck ran over my cast! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141212 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141212_LR_468d87c0-b1a2-47bd-b8db-d4c928169699.jpg?v=1571611174 You ever thought of selling this recipe to the Pentagon? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141213 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141213_LR_08d84257-5b0f-4f14-a414-b4069c851ad6.jpg?v=1571611174 Come on, Dad, it’s over! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141215 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141215_LR_31ba1a2c-e367-449b-8d85-e2ca64f8d0e5.jpg?v=1571611174 I thought I’d put in a little vegetable garden. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141216 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141216_LR_f7dad449-95b7-4171-aad4-0b6fbc1525aa.jpg?v=1571611174 Did it ever cross your mind that maybe you’re being out-smarted? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141217 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141217_LR_fb8a85d0-4fea-4c8c-a7fc-b438b0f19e44.jpg?v=1571611174 I’ll leave you to park the car, I’m going to bed. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141218 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141218_LR_d77eb193-7aaf-4752-8630-f23af0701350.jpg?v=1571611174 How long have you had your feet on the wrong legs? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141219 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141219_LR_2df7382e-d2be-4afb-947a-1a52affbc95b.jpg?v=1571611174 Maybe you’re beginning to get the message that we need a recreation room. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141220 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141220_LR_907cd724-a1c7-46ed-ab79-4069cadc52ec.jpg?v=1571611174 I cut a piece off the bottom and patched your shirt. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141222 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141222_LR_206b8467-b14a-4ad7-b66f-af022abd9d9e.jpg?v=1571611174 Is it okay to leave if I lose all my money? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141223 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141223_LR_9ec9ec7b-89a9-4323-8b1f-798964740f63.jpg?v=1571611174 Herm, want me to make a little hole and feed you some grapes? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141224 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141224_LR_2ed143c2-e8be-463a-9c78-6a98bb782771.jpg?v=1571611174 Fifteen years is not so long. You’ve already done 12 days. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141225 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141225_LR_1836ec54-5b83-459c-8e8d-949f352ae2d3.jpg?v=1571611174 He had his heart set on a cowboy suit. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141226 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141226_LR_8b21f8b6-c91b-46db-a041-dd7baf367fb4.jpg?v=1571611175 Well, well… My secret file tells me that since 1998 this is your grandmother’s seventh funeral. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141227 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141227_LR_6d1627d8-ff62-48d5-a3d6-72b5f5171ffa.jpg?v=1571611175 Normally I ignore things said to me in fun at the Christmas party, however… https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141229 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141229_LR_53d71b46-e468-4d7c-a461-55e513b986ba.jpg?v=1571611175 I got fantastic references from my last five jobs but I lost them on the way over here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141230 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141230_LR_ab7af4f2-e775-4433-b46f-bedde0bc205d.jpg?v=1571611175 Hope it’s not too dry. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm141231 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM141231_LR_0d442132-b433-48a7-9408-f27ccf8200cb.jpg?v=1571611175 Memorize this, it’s your New Year resolutions. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150101 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150101_LR_34129834-05f8-425c-a4c0-f6d31048d6aa.jpg?v=1571611175 What about our religious differences? I worship money and you’re broke! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150102 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150102_LR_8e161edc-80fa-421f-b6b0-842445dc6c84.jpg?v=1571611175 It says here you’re intelligent, honest and reliable. What makes you think you’d be an asset to this company? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150103 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150103_LR_8cf7c5cc-9519-447a-a66f-dd69bdabd45f.jpg?v=1571611175 I see you taking a trip. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150105 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150105_LR_e5bc7183-7930-4993-a128-bdb6233cce6d.jpg?v=1571611175 If you keep bugging me about getting married, I’m gonna break off our engagement. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150106 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150106_LR_d307ae8e-f51e-4df3-83d6-8d6279c15abd.jpg?v=1571611175 If I keep going to school, all the best jobs are gonna be snapped up. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150107 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150107_LR_0c08f9db-0c8c-480e-bbc3-b0517aa2df92.jpg?v=1571611175 Well, if a fool and his money are soon parted, who’s got yours? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150108 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150108_LR_b2a52223-50f1-4e27-b104-53f64fcaba6c.jpg?v=1571611175 As I remember, you always were a big kid for your age. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150109 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150109_LR_4f6a5a21-6c01-491b-92b6-3251250f186e.jpg?v=1571611175 If you want your money back, say so! Don’t give me that guff about it being too noisy. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150110 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150110_LR_ea231e10-5205-403f-81fa-9e2a056756ee.jpg?v=1571611175 I’m not making any more cakes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150112 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150112_LR_240241bf-ee2d-4552-ac7e-d15097346966.jpg?v=1571611175 Leave the car keys just in case something grabs you out there. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150113 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150113_LR_894383c8-1017-47cb-abde-9f0c6510c2c7.jpg?v=1571611175 Another good feature of this home is that it’s within a stone’s throw of several schools. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150114 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150114_LR_86af577d-a592-4f12-83bc-6461e3392041.jpg?v=1571611175 Stop whining. I caught it so I’ll carry it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150115 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150115_LR_58d9395e-f880-46ec-8e29-712118c49321.jpg?v=1571611175 Are you sure you’re comfortable like that? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150116 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150116_LR_ba79d95d-d7c9-4a26-af4f-51878c9cbc96.jpg?v=1571611175 You can’t afford to get married on the salary I’m paying you! One day you’ll thank me. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150117 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150117_LR_3170eb1b-b381-45b3-aed4-f1d7d32f54c2.jpg?v=1571611175 That must have been one heavy suitcase! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150119 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150119_LR_68542f16-97c4-46c4-a3c9-4c718aae310c.jpg?v=1571611176 I thought that clown had fixed the ‘. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150120 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150120_LR_31fa89db-d7d4-4025-a9a1-21420812b4d8.jpg?v=1571611176 You’d better stay off solid food for an hour or two. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150121 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150121_LR_de2780d3-2e1e-4510-817e-c472a12ed0d2.jpg?v=1571611176 GET YOUR ELBOWS OFF THE TABLE! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150122 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150122_LR_722245ff-14f8-4147-ab10-717d267920a6.jpg?v=1571611176 No one said the job was gonna be a bed of roses. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150123 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150123_LR_18f7808d-7054-42a4-ba55-16944420321c.jpg?v=1571611176 Oh, darn. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150124 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150124_LR_8848e247-459b-43ab-8481-43f2ad71d1e4.jpg?v=1571611176 I wanted to leave you a tip but I haven’t got change for a quarter. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150126 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150126_LR_804915b4-2fde-4d68-9288-b8f8e3be54dd.jpg?v=1571611176 I hate to mention it but there was a $1.80 on the meter when I hit that truck. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150127 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150127_LR_7729095c-891a-43f3-8d27-9cc0906b7910.jpg?v=1571611176 Your son-in-law’s not here this afternoon. He’s gone to your funeral. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150128 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150128_LR_8e69ce95-e219-422d-8654-4cd1eb00ad52.jpg?v=1571611176 They said he wasn’t to leave the office ‘til the books balanced. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150129 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150129_LR_f39b67c0-4c19-49db-889b-b4baf693697f.jpg?v=1571611176 Let me guess. She gave you your money back. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150130 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150130_LR_9284e92b-0ddf-4b7b-9b65-4fca89b7d868.jpg?v=1571611176 How are you getting on with the diet? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150131 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150131_LR_21ad6ac1-d1e9-40ac-a031-5a2c743a063b.jpg?v=1571611176 Keep going! I’ll run out and mortgage the house and meet you at the check-out. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150202 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150202_LR_83025636-1a85-4b28-928d-d3dfd3224235.jpg?v=1571611176 You dropped it. You get it! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150203 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150203_LR_cfee41e7-47f4-4ef7-9527-c14a1634aa03.jpg?v=1571611176 Where do you get off taking out your own appendix? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150204 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150204_LR_4b51e1ed-31bb-4721-bfdb-fd949c592a6b.jpg?v=1571611176 I’ve got no way of knowing who started this fight so I’m going to fine you both $50. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150205 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150205_LR_84bf2c3c-494a-4876-ab8e-400edd2f9c5b.jpg?v=1571611176 Will you shove off. I’m sick of your jealousy! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150206 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150206_LR_cd39449d-5683-4384-ac4d-a0a7e118acf3.jpg?v=1571611176 Hiya, Jonesy, you still watching that 50-inch TV? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150207 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150207_LR_06d0b9cf-26d7-4d87-9eb1-7c0eb1af1645.jpg?v=1571611176 Don’t keep saying you don’t like them. You’ve only had them on for five minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150209 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150209_LR_3f58968e-bb9f-4a68-b3e0-4f4ad088a74a.jpg?v=1571611176 It’s just a simple little operation, but we want you to pay now. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150210 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150210_LR_081d6fd8-e3d5-431f-b6c2-1ba1e54d1b76.jpg?v=1571611176 I think he’s trying to tell us he can’t paint! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150211 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150211_LR_b723d635-0765-4b1c-a745-f82b0c9741fb.jpg?v=1571611176 Give me a week’s warning before they let you out of here and I’ll clean the kitchen. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150212 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150212_LR_c07c7d40-29a6-4dae-9bdc-77cd94b9be79.jpg?v=1571611176 How could I have been doing 70 miles an hour when I’ve only been driving for ten minutes? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150213 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150213_LR_ee2e95ca-9a65-495e-a6ab-5383e1d79657.jpg?v=1571611176 Your nest-egg just hatched. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150214 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150214_LR_c673e0e1-d546-405c-9974-8edb0c5ac204.jpg?v=1571611176 Come in, Coach. I wanna discuss your lifetime contract. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150216 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150216_LR_ca38b38e-0125-4787-8f5f-ba8158ecb58a.jpg?v=1571611176 You’ve just turned this restaurant into a ‘non-profit’ organization. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150217 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150217_LR_4235a628-f489-46c9-8e32-f0427eedd99d.jpg?v=1571611176 If you were a horse, we would have shot you! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150218 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150218_LR_70084629-ff46-4ae7-80e6-9344b8de728d.jpg?v=1571611176 Who gets the triple ‘jumbo-burger’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150219 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150219_LR_68242d40-1120-4ff1-a158-2157b9a1bfba.jpg?v=1571611176 I don’t mind a long wait in here; the food’s terrible. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150220 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150220_LR_c6829d40-054f-4328-99ff-e58e963c9968.jpg?v=1571611176 Sure you were good at history. You were there for most of it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150221 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150221_LR_f6b03e64-c067-4c82-8ff0-c15072c903c6.jpg?v=1571611176 The bank wants to lend us $5,000 to get out of debt. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150223 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150223_LR_d581b5f9-105e-4176-a736-389cd43bd2d6.jpg?v=1571611177 I’m gonna say my prayers. D’ya need anything? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150224 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150224_LR_4675cf94-8e5d-4453-866e-782266b56cde.jpg?v=1571611177 You mean I’ve gotta pay tax on money I’ve already spent? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150225 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150225_LR_0c3e7370-5c5c-426e-b3b6-120a3bc6e40a.jpg?v=1571611177 I wanna open a joint-account with somenone who’s got plenty of dough. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150226 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150226_LR_c5b5bd09-8917-4ccc-ad5d-32180fa8fdc7.jpg?v=1571611177 I wanted a steady worker, but you’re absolutely motionless. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150227 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150227_LR_8fc9be6c-8bce-44a7-b368-427a4907b849.jpg?v=1571611177 I’m telling you; you don’t have a complex. You ARE inferior. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150228 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150228_LR_e74d350b-404d-47e5-8ac6-d54221627203.jpg?v=1571611177 The way you carry on, you’d think I enjoy these business trips. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150302 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150302_LR_f40bf848-5b15-492b-a53d-7d2c32f735da.jpg?v=1571611177 They said something about five thousand U.F.O.’s landing in Idaho, then cut to a commercial. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150303 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150303_LR_754e2a4d-d555-49b7-9b61-aae90253bd70.jpg?v=1571611177 I appreciate this is your first day at the zoo, but from now on just paint the empty cages. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150304 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150304_LR_4f52c034-b768-4e88-8138-d4b03047f493.jpg?v=1571611177 Where’s the kids? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150305 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150305_LR_3700b168-8d2b-4300-a949-2a3eabdad66e.jpg?v=1571611177 As I see it, you’ve got a choice between a ‘birdie’ and promotion to branch manager. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150306 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150306_LR_f31508c4-00a9-4cda-a657-4b3a7303bff3.jpg?v=1571611177 I know there’s a lot of things more important than money, and they’re all expensive! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150307 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150307_LR_42084f93-bf4d-431a-9dd6-b4210aae1210.jpg?v=1571611177 I can do shorthand! It just takes a little longer. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150309 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150309_LR_c75b228b-75b9-440e-8504-1e80998f688d.jpg?v=1571611177 He wouldn’t eat it so I put in some dirt and made it look like mud. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150310 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150310_LR_f5b8e6d2-d79a-410f-8369-578d8baa3318.jpg?v=1571611177 Mom said we can get married and live in the dining room if you don’t mind eating in the kitchen. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150311 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150311_LR_bdc285e1-6dae-4380-bf38-b6b135ce273a.jpg?v=1571611177 Can’t you ever get sick without bringing home one of those? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150312 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150312_LR_899edf98-85e5-452b-87b9-56fcd58b09fd.jpg?v=1571611177 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, the bride and groom! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150313 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150313_LR_69f9430c-dafd-4055-a21a-98cbafc9bae2.jpg?v=1571611177 I see you’ve listed your hobbies as alpine skiing, scuba, sky-diving, treasure hunting and climbing Mount Everest. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150314 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150314_LR_3bcd3019-18e6-44d3-92b7-d52ce3b9a16b.jpg?v=1571611177 Congratulations! He seems very bright. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150316 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150316_LR_dd39c9e1-b98c-472d-8cd4-5fff0b2f074b.jpg?v=1571611177 Get off that oily man with your best shoes on. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150317 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150317_LR_108b8ffc-4377-4a20-979d-526d12dceb0a.jpg?v=1571611177 If you’re so dead-set against gambling, how come you’re still in the marriage business? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150318 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150318_LR_7f43795d-371e-4fc3-8360-8173b0a228fe.jpg?v=1571611177 Look what your stupid uncle gave us. What d’you think it is? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150319 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150319_LR_01d55249-277a-4d56-bb56-3c6dddf75823.jpg?v=1571611177 Judy, are you gonna elope or not? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150320 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150320_LR_c8bce8f5-36d1-4647-8113-75edaaae440d.jpg?v=1571611177 You’re sure I’ll be able to swim with it? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150321 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150321_LR_1b6ebc06-15e1-4195-8cbc-2278c9aaa09a.jpg?v=1571611177 I can’t explain now, but don’t take your jacket off at work. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150323 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150323_LR_e44371e9-60c0-4b20-8ea0-0aeef53617b3.jpg?v=1571611177 We can’t live with my parents. They’re still living with their parents! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150324 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150324_LR_989bad90-bec2-4a12-9df6-f08faa373a14.jpg?v=1571611177 Mr. Harrison took-off for South America with the company pay-roll. D’yer wanna leave a message? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150325 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150325_LR_15e2df0f-98e6-4a64-87ba-50a9351c3b4c.jpg?v=1571611177 Everyone in the building got together. Here’s 200 bucks for your violin. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150326 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150326_LR_f0ad1dcd-92f8-4924-a111-01a5c9019710.jpg?v=1571611177 Sure it’s faded! You’ve been wearing it during daylight hours without a jacket on. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150327 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150327_LR_fda7db06-d4e1-4f75-91d4-86f11c7abd6b.jpg?v=1571611178 Sure you can have it for ten bucks, but wouldn’t you rather own a $200 painting? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150328 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150328_LR_fa9b735a-5ba1-455d-bbc2-1a428b85a171.jpg?v=1571611178 How many guys d’you know with a solar-powered wristwatch? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150330 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150330_LR_c0dce739-c518-445e-b385-74bc4d1f3545.jpg?v=1571611178 I decided to come in today. The poolroom’s packed. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150331 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150331_LR_057897cc-4501-4c2d-be47-89f4e5e22640.jpg?v=1571611178 Is this your first blind date? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150401 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150401_LR_759c6ffa-c31b-4bf5-a0e7-a7f21f55f242.jpg?v=1571611178 And another thing! I’m getting sick of you being so agreeable all the time. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150402 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150402_LR_dbaa5cdb-3d6d-4d73-b7c7-a9bfe368ba89.jpg?v=1571611178 I’d ask for a doggie-bag but my doggie wouldn’t eat that if I paid him. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150403 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150403_LR_518088d8-e52f-4ce5-868d-6f75b82f59d1.jpg?v=1571611178 Can you put my arm in a sling for a couple of weeks so I can get out of doing the dishes? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150404 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150404_LR_50f3a385-af04-40cb-9e36-dd1501315fea.jpg?v=1571611178 Don’t worry about my punctuation. I’ll be here at exactly nine o’clock every morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150406 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150406_LR_8416db01-2173-4109-827d-c0b449afe3c7.jpg?v=1571611178 Are you sure you’re comfortable? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150407 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150407_LR_48718585-1e70-41a6-a6d7-45dbbd9dbca2.jpg?v=1571611178 Here, let me know if these work and I’ll give them a try myself. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150408 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150408_LR_0f8feb9e-a3e8-4ac5-834e-8c200d7fae3e.jpg?v=1571611178 Is it still raining? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150409 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150409_LR_1b6822e2-8154-4ee1-b83a-738454d95960.jpg?v=1571611178 I don’t wanna be a juror! Can’t I be a witness? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150410 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150410_LR_9facdc6f-5b45-46cb-a176-789c4957075a.jpg?v=1571611178 Just take a seat, son. You’re next. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150411 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150411_LR_85696bb7-12a7-48d9-8b3d-b6164790761d.jpg?v=1571611178 You’ve got six wives waiting for you on the outside. Are you sure you want parole? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150413 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150413_LR_dc38abcc-7e01-4ffa-b7bf-132b77bf8d9d.jpg?v=1571611178 I guess we should have tried it on the rats first. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150414 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150414_LR_00cd6367-48b5-4186-ba85-3e84cda10db8.jpg?v=1571611178 You’re the one guy we can trust in this cell for a couple of days ‘til we get those bars fixed. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150415 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150415_LR_1c21a667-56f4-4154-b624-89f3626e5807.jpg?v=1571611178 Don’t play with Grandpa’s greasy hair just before suppertime. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150416 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150416_LR_f668ff25-2661-42fe-99ec-549868232393.jpg?v=1571611178 Fifteen years up already? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150417 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150417_LR_d03f6a2d-3586-4674-8fe5-421e3276437c.jpg?v=1571611178 Hermy, either we’re gonna get married or I guess I shouldn’t see you any more. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150418 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150418_LR_f4827266-15ea-4b4e-a554-6e2407d53047.jpg?v=1571611178 F means ‘fantastic.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150420 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150420_LR_49263875-d0ed-430f-8be9-cdbf66bec2ff.jpg?v=1571611178 If I’ve got to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, what sort of fair trial is this gonna be? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150421 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150421_LR_5d58ade7-bca4-48ac-a7e5-5806341e55c1.jpg?v=1571611178 Mr. Henderson, he’s written another check! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150422 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150422_LR_767ea56f-35a7-4e1b-ae6c-5f26a5774bba.jpg?v=1571611178 Listen, there’s nothing wrong with being ambitious. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150423 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150423_LR_bb348704-5cf7-4856-8c67-935878c3e0c5.jpg?v=1571611178 If you don’t like the soup, just say so! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150424 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150424_LR_57b357a8-f713-41e4-97dc-8367a888232c.jpg?v=1571611178 They say opposites attract. There must be plenty of good-looking, intelligent girls around. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150425 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150425_LR_573843a4-1e6e-4ff4-a63d-e7b450b4462b.jpg?v=1571611178 Herman's a man of rare gifts. In 25 years, I’ve had one bunch of flowers. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150427 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150427_LR_0b817657-e405-4179-aabb-d75ee0376c06.jpg?v=1571611178 The sink’s backed up! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150428 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150428_LR_510aa6ca-dc7f-4a6b-959b-c1c7921d7d11.jpg?v=1571611178 The way we treat a headache here is to divert your attention to something else. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150429 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150429_LR_03dad54b-5948-4a83-ae93-ced1f47071e3.jpg?v=1571611178 The bank will lend you the money, but it’s up to you to prove to us that you don’t really need it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150430 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150430_LR_9072dd39-2911-44d2-ba5d-be13577f1c37.jpg?v=1571611178 Don’t look so miserable. Maybe the first seven horses will be disqualified. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150501 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150501_LR_49659868-2be1-4e91-8de9-490298a7c547.jpg?v=1571611179 Well, when he comes back from lunch, tell him his war souvenir is making clicking noises. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150502 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150502_LR_778ba20e-5842-421d-9b38-34667dbb8ba8.jpg?v=1571611179 Will you get outa here with that romantic junk! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150504 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150504_LR_18ac46c3-8761-443d-8bd2-290d56d69ac4.jpg?v=1571611179 This watch you bought me is a great conversation piece. I have to ask everybody the time! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150505 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150505_LR_d82ac21f-aab7-4844-8a3e-c67c6b165951.jpg?v=1571611179 I’m NOT going camping. If you wanna get back to nature, take the bug screen out of the window for half an hour. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150506 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150506_LR_4cb6ed0f-3910-47fd-a596-45ee15826a4b.jpg?v=1571611179 If you don’t learn a trade, how are you going to know what kind of work you’re out of? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150507 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150507_LR_8b6a5036-fb13-41a2-bce1-f2969da0854f.jpg?v=1571611179 Boy, Harry, you sure look different without your wallet! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150508 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150508_LR_e548109d-003e-4049-be95-740fa4746552.jpg?v=1571611179 Next time you go to the store, get some proper paper napkins. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150509 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150509_LR_4d4404f9-87e7-462f-9393-e02ead3197e9.jpg?v=1571611179 The reason meat is expensive is because no one ever argues with a guy holding one of these. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150511 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150511_LR_f7397512-b1ce-426a-a339-6f657aaeacac.jpg?v=1571611179 He’s got your hair! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150512 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150512_LR_7d6eff0c-565b-4741-a0df-76bdfff6f897.jpg?v=1571611179 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150513 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150513_LR_c2c94e42-e1c1-40ad-acca-0430850ac782.jpg?v=1571611179 I told you to use my insect spray. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150514 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150514_LR_6c4573da-a2b6-4f97-a44d-c227503e631c.jpg?v=1571611179 Did she tell you I got a job down at the fish market? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150515 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150515_LR_0e56003f-83fb-42a9-ba78-5796e4388c63.jpg?v=1571611179 It’s called ‘Pigeons Beware.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150516 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150516_LR_a3c25614-9ecd-4922-8bb3-0d3d46e9ab2e.jpg?v=1571611179 You can’t be expected to get it right the first time! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150518 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150518_LR_5ea862dd-7cd9-4f62-aca6-8c345e19b4d3.jpg?v=1571611179 Why didn’t you tell me your ex-boyfriend was the guy who cuts my hair? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150519 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150519_LR_b092096f-a399-4699-8d67-f72957968823.jpg?v=1571611179 Hey, Harry! Look at this guy’s wife. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150520 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150520_LR_525cb8f2-4c6d-47e7-b69b-bfde51cf398e.jpg?v=1571611179 Well someone phoned in an order for five pounds of peanuts. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150521 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150521_LR_8e77c3cf-3c13-4313-8ef7-cbde7c5fbe2b.jpg?v=1571611179 I hope you used warm water. I don’t want to listen to those things chattering all night. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150522 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150522_LR_346c2824-b83f-424a-8d90-1f8fe1da637c.jpg?v=1571611179 I see you finally sewed on my button. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150523 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150523_LR_0325840d-b3e7-467a-96fe-b40320d201e9.jpg?v=1571611179 Don’t do that while I’m eating! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150525 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150525_LR_a2909f45-92e9-4dcb-a030-2b1a760630a9.jpg?v=1571611179 How does it feel to take some little kid’s last fifteen cents in the whole world? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150526 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150526_LR_56fbafe1-6ea2-47ad-b51a-14a458433d48.jpg?v=1571611179 Look what she did to my candy bar! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150527 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150527_LR_f40a7238-1064-4cc3-b15c-ce110d17a929.jpg?v=1571611179 Grandpa, how do you change channels on this set? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150528 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150528_LR_7d8c86a3-64b7-4b46-876e-5effed25fd2e.jpg?v=1571611179 Did you say this pizza gave you indigestion? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150529 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150529_LR_c307b225-b4b2-44f8-83d1-20ae7b49c9c7.jpg?v=1571611179 How sweet! A birthday card mailed in 1996! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150530 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150530_LR_e684f0ee-7020-4aa9-aa2e-f796383b58b8.jpg?v=1571611179 Do you think the current economic policies will do anything to ease the unemployment situation? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150601 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150601_LR_c62a46e1-3d9f-40c9-8e6d-9786ccc6df21.jpg?v=1571611179 Four months, eight days, five hours and twenty minutes. Four months, eight days, five hours and nineteen minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150602 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150602_LR_565700a3-2ceb-46c3-87bb-a297105d3ba0.jpg?v=1571611179 I’m sure he’ll be sorry he missed you. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150603 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150603_LR_7e2faac7-b17a-434a-9ff9-d7b613204727.jpg?v=1571611179 Hospital regulations. You gotta wear the straps while I read the bill. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150604 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150604_LR_bcfcc101-a982-478d-bd0f-aa806bf388e2.jpg?v=1571611179 How can I be overqualified? I left school when I was eight! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150605 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150605_LR_f6fb18bf-7bc9-4272-b2bd-6a5369badf39.jpg?v=1571611179 I told them they could watch ’til theirs was fixed. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150606 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150606_LR_786c0a3e-4d0b-4221-adbe-074452a53d1b.jpg?v=1571611179 You may as well know they made me ‘Assistant Floor Manager’ today. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150608 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150608_LR_1572c961-25be-4f14-ad24-f64e44fd6638.jpg?v=1571611180 You haven’t got any experience as an astronaut or movie actor. What’s your third choice? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150609 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150609_LR_5045a362-1e22-426a-85e2-2d202a9449f4.jpg?v=1571611180 Butcher Harris is doing this one tomorrow morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150610 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150610_LR_5e3ea86d-ebc9-4365-8e8e-219172d74748.jpg?v=1571611180 You’ll get a hot-dog when you go home and put on a jacket and tie. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150611 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150611_LR_f20ab62c-58a0-424f-b701-37566b748819.jpg?v=1571611180 My sister just gave me two dollars not to tell you something. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150612 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150612_LR_c0994f51-89b2-4ee0-a29a-a102f0176acc.jpg?v=1571611180 I haven’t got those in a twelve but I can let you have a couple of pair of size sixes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150613 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150613_LR_9250efa3-bbb9-4710-bb22-0d7486a295ca.jpg?v=1571611180 He told me to throw it as hard as I could. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150615 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150615_LR_dd5cd90b-486a-4383-820a-b0b8368ba9f3.jpg?v=1571611180 As most of you know, our company treasurer won’t be with us for the next fifteen annual meetings. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150616 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150616_LR_616a7ffb-d11c-42f9-b228-82cfffa2e046.jpg?v=1571611180 So I said to her, ‘how about giving me something to remember you by?’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150617 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150617_LR_90c43f63-9f95-4395-9409-57ff8b9886ab.jpg?v=1571611180 I’m sorry. I thought you were my husband. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150618 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150618_LR_e677e63d-b6c4-4e07-bd7a-aa7c92835172.jpg?v=1571611180 I phoned the doctor. You’re supposed to get plenty of fluids. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150619 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150619_LR_ccc28237-5478-4e5a-bc80-0a46b576b63b.jpg?v=1571611180 I wish you hadn’t worn that tie. It doesn’t go with your jacket. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150620 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150620_LR_158e9137-3eb4-457b-b03b-a4c2f22934b3.jpg?v=1571611180 I’m sure you’ll agree, we don’t want an epidemic. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150622 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150622_LR_3431e2bb-1e5b-4c16-b432-655be83704ab.jpg?v=1571611180 It’s okay! I found the keys. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150623 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150623_LR_c93a9857-f832-4106-838e-f99b15f228c0.jpg?v=1571611180 We can’t elope. I haven’t got a suitcase. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150624 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150624_LR_41e146c3-9986-4898-944a-092403abea76.jpg?v=1571611180 Okay, I’m coming out now. Close your eyes! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150625 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150625_LR_81f0513c-2e51-4862-854d-da34572e633a.jpg?v=1571611180 Ma! I just met this new guy. He’s not good-looking or anything but he’s an accountant. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150626 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150626_LR_e24af0dc-5e6d-461c-8d12-c8fc3547bdd7.jpg?v=1571611180 You the guy who called a plumber? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150627 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150627_LR_3ccbd26f-8def-4665-abf9-b04c59e152e5.jpg?v=1571611180 That bit about ‘love, honor and obey.’ Is that me or her? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150629 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150629_LR_77031f62-93f3-490a-8c01-b47c9aa7e129.jpg?v=1571611180 Can you believe this? We’ve gotta go back all the way to 1985. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150630 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150630_LR_c5773bef-1543-41ca-a952-fbec3391440e.jpg?v=1571611180 How come every time we have company, I get stuck with this chair? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150701 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150701_LR_219e3d09-0382-43e1-a954-d7756e42d989.jpg?v=1571611180 I was just about to ask you how you liked your new glasses! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150702 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150702_LR_4bf67828-d644-41ae-a751-680d5796ed8b.jpg?v=1571611180 I haven’t understood one word you said. Come back when your face gets better. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150703 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150703_LR_18e80395-620c-4ea9-bddc-d23f69c17d17.jpg?v=1571611180 If you only want to spend twenty dollars, I’d recommend two hamburgers and a six-dollar tip. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150704 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150704_LR_992b3f54-d58b-4865-829e-3406f08847fa.jpg?v=1571611180 Hey Tex. Come and settle an argument. Is this arrow Apache or Sioux? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150706 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150706_LR_8d324177-5c48-40eb-8bc3-167e2c50944b.jpg?v=1571611180 Breakfast in bed, your majesty. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150707 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150707_LR_0ea95d53-169a-4f06-80fe-2e9cc6aac2b4.jpg?v=1571611180 Hey Pop! Your hearing aid has slipped down the leg of your pants! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150708 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150708_LR_5019678e-5bbf-4828-b5c0-21744072756f.jpg?v=1571611181 If you’re coming ashore buddy, I wanna see your passport. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150709 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150709_LR_f79254ff-e676-4e44-b25e-a2cb4472d401.jpg?v=1571611181 Maturity is a feeling that comes over you when you look back on your life and realize you were wrong on just about everything. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150710 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150710_LR_16ce2bdf-382b-488d-86bc-4b1bb9d338b9.jpg?v=1571611181 What exactly is ‘new improved lettuce’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150711 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150711_LR_3dfabc68-3b3a-488e-be10-3e13f4e55528.jpg?v=1571611181 I take it you didn’t get the promotion. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150713 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150713_LR_91952281-7cf4-4695-8db4-def8fde75fe1.jpg?v=1571611181 Don’t move while I’m gone. You’ll spill my drink. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150714 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150714_LR_3de18574-6a03-46cb-9100-8afb78c92f9c.jpg?v=1571611181 D’you realize we’ve been married three whole weeks, and neither of us has even mentioned the word ‘divorce’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150715 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150715_LR_22666bf6-9f57-4906-a220-58074929f3b4.jpg?v=1571611181 You’re not supposed to just pour the stew into a lunch pail. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150716 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150716_LR_b936f0d0-d740-447a-8597-f5f6eb60e489.jpg?v=1571611181 You got nothing to smile about. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150717 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150717_LR_0b7e8bcb-db25-48c4-bad7-a64ea46cfcce.jpg?v=1571611181 Grannie, your horoscope says be prepared for a whirlwind romance! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150718 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150718_LR_f19d8e2a-d80a-4a30-b628-df38fa9160e6.jpg?v=1571611181 I’ve had a hard day, so don’t make any smart remarks while I’m carrying a cream pie. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150720 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150720_LR_53023901-7ef5-49a3-ba60-44c4115b08c3.jpg?v=1571611181 I wish you’d let me know you were coming in here. I had to throw away a perfectly good frozen dinner. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150721 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150721_LR_c018dd8f-a762-4172-a8d0-f4dfede2e5bf.jpg?v=1571611181 Can’t you get on with your work without watching me all the time? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150722 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150722_LR_e65c9c29-f29c-483b-9627-c8981f94d9fe.jpg?v=1571611181 I see your mother’s been here again. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150723 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150723_LR_b73f882a-1040-4929-aa0b-70137f5d0aba.jpg?v=1571611181 I’ll give you something for gas. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150724 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150724_LR_57312a77-023b-44a3-8985-933b18c5d6b0.jpg?v=1571611181 I see you’ve fixed the drip! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150725 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150725_LR_2453f400-df1a-4843-9079-36c3222306e7.jpg?v=1571611181 Is that the way you normally stand? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150727 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150727_LR_33ff7d96-b0c5-459a-aed2-aa42146fbd72.jpg?v=1571611181 Here yer go, ‘Instant Leftovers.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150728 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150728_LR_90298479-147d-450f-b301-60897bf20542.jpg?v=1571611181 I thought TV was supposed to make you violent! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150729 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150729_LR_54ef87b5-ddb5-476a-b072-8e5da1b23fa4.jpg?v=1571611181 You said you didn’t mind tea or coffee so I gave you half and half. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150730 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150730_LR_ed3d918a-7d66-46c6-beef-38099519ce6c.jpg?v=1571611181 I’m not the world’s greatest cook but I think you’ll enjoy my cornflakes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150731 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150731_LR_f98d887a-0bb8-43f4-9ab6-e45503cabc64.jpg?v=1571611181 He left everything to the one woman who sustained him throughout his later years; Angelina Jolie. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150801 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150801_LR_eb3819a9-1609-4ed5-a731-a2c1d9ad419f.jpg?v=1571611181 If you get up a little earlier, you’d have more time to shave! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150803 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150803_LR_03709d1e-4949-421f-9bd8-fa87a9840979.jpg?v=1571611181 Guess what Mike does for a living! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150804 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150804_LR_30a15752-1107-4ad6-bf25-e8e7535b4288.jpg?v=1571611181 No, Doc. I'm not a cypborg. I had a phone in my back pocket. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150805 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150805_LR_1c2eefd1-373d-448a-8954-11c71cd92085.jpg?v=1571611181 You’ve got what we call ‘heavy blood.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150806 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150806_LR_1374965b-72d7-4bd0-a443-a5d591ac8b00.jpg?v=1571611181 I told him he could have your ‘leftovers.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150807 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150807_LR_c9673f27-3329-4052-858e-0565decde456.jpg?v=1571611181 Oh goody! You found my comb. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150808 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150808_LR_156a7b50-02ff-463b-8942-cab9faab85e3.jpg?v=1571611181 I know your landlord depends on the rent but you still can’t list him as a dependent. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150810 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150810_LR_c0aca835-c567-4fde-bc90-8bc20cc95e6c.jpg?v=1571611181 Time out… SUPPER! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150811 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150811_LR_8995f949-d885-43af-9688-cebfa50fd212.jpg?v=1571611181 You’re not allowed to be a grandfather anymore; you’re a ‘grandperson.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150812 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150812_LR_d2a5b8e7-e8ba-43bd-983e-05cfb20bf83c.jpg?v=1571611181 I know the same thing happened last year. I’m ‘accident prone.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150813 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150813_LR_ca0f8b87-8f22-45f1-a10c-2afcf11605f0.jpg?v=1571611182 Okay, just once more then it’s bedtime. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150814 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150814_LR_8d149b5b-7ec1-49c1-954f-bd84a9fd4dcc.jpg?v=1571611182 I spilt the stupid plant food. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150815 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150815_LR_d4913d65-8e83-47a5-a3b4-9c375295f04b.jpg?v=1571611182 The Doctor can’t see you 'till Friday. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150817 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150817_LR_dea63413-a6f3-4d75-9f45-33fdb923a16e.jpg?v=1571611182 I’m well aware it’s only a plastic sword. Don’t interfere! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150818 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150818_LR_4345cb04-8d69-4e3a-99ba-6ab96ad4a2d7.jpg?v=1571611182 Hey Mom. I got that job. Get over here quick and show me what to do. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150819 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150819_LR_62f85bbb-44c6-4e50-b31d-5540a5708274.jpg?v=1571611182 I had to dig it all by hand. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150820 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150820_LR_ad2029b8-b45b-4819-9d48-84d53600f112.jpg?v=1571611182 Hey lady! If you keep your rollers lined up with the screen, I’ll be able to watch the movie. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150821 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150821_LR_568eac0b-ae2c-492f-856c-f5f20749dad8.jpg?v=1571611182 It’s baked turkey. The feathers got a bit black. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150822 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150822_LR_7a1073f9-bb03-4c85-a1b7-0761bb6bd52d.jpg?v=1571611182 I’m not sneering at your qualifications. I just wasn’t aware you could get a B.A. for ‘flower arrangement'. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150824 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150824_LR_380fb7b2-6348-4516-96db-b59e210cdae6.jpg?v=1571611182 I’ll have to open you up again: That watch has great sentimental value. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150825 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150825_LR_b6c92f29-a379-4d7a-9834-ff2e26ab0998.jpg?v=1571611182 I’m just showing these guys around the place. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150826 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150826_LR_ca0c877d-1e51-49a4-a4f6-2197ce32e6af.jpg?v=1571611182 I asked that Doctor over there what he would take to cure a stomach upset and he said about $85. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150827 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150827_LR_112422e3-28d3-457d-964a-8100c15429f3.jpg?v=1571611182 Don’t ask me ‘what for’ you idiot! Just hang around here and whistle at the customers when they leave. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150828 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150828_LR_35eaff53-6314-4293-a53b-1f184fe79b97.jpg?v=1571611182 If I’m innocent ‘til proven guilty, why can’t I buzz off to Australia and you let me know how things turn out? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150829 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150829_LR_dbb83398-28f5-4700-ba9c-06ace2dc5f7a.jpg?v=1571611182 How DARE you shout at me like that in front of the plants. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150831 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150831_LR_8b7e3baa-a929-4a66-9808-4bfc29e4fa2b.jpg?v=1571611182 I guess I can borrow a magnifying glass to show it to the girls at work. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150901 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150901_LR_a6dc0f78-8a61-4cab-9636-f23f565e8ed7.jpg?v=1571611182 You only want me to get a haircut because you’re jealous. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150902 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150902_LR_9fde8db1-a98e-4320-9efc-a1a26f136091.jpg?v=1571611182 Well, the window’s open. I hope you’re satisfied. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150903 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150903_LR_9e01e35e-5a42-4886-982b-4b777304f77a.jpg?v=1571611182 Which floor? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150904 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150904_LR_06e4f6ef-ec4d-4839-88f5-9f7383ec90ac.jpg?v=1571611182 Would you believe it? I’ve been all over town trying to get you some flowers. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150905 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150905_LR_b9a71900-8132-4bbb-9be5-3287dcded64f.jpg?v=1571611182 Every time we go out anywhere, you always find something to complain about. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150907 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150907_LR_4f9eafb8-b441-4dea-a688-fbb20a49356c.jpg?v=1571611182 Look at the fabulous tie I got you while I was buying this silly old coat. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150908 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150908_LR_fc447dca-61d8-401d-a61f-db9bfdc697c9.jpg?v=1571611182 It’s just a little something to celebrate your 500th lesson. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150909 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150909_LR_22e5673e-14f2-45a9-99b7-655deb5504fa.jpg?v=1571611182 That's weird. Your heart stopped. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150910 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150910_LR_f911be09-e53e-4ea8-af16-7ec8827431e7.jpg?v=1571611182 I know I’m taking a long time but I’m trying to fry you an egg and the shell keeps breaking. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150911 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150911_LR_7d082929-67ce-4f86-89de-7c3fad551f84.jpg?v=1571611182 Why did your nurse want to know my ‘next-of-kin’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150912 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150912_LR_2b85b3ca-4633-41b7-a5c8-b87a341d2e4c.jpg?v=1571611182 If the smoke detector fails and your house burns down, we replace the unit free of charge. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150914 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150914_LR_921dda99-cf22-45eb-b139-623f41fa692b.jpg?v=1571611182 The front row is yours. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150915 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150915_LR_326c1e2a-b2d0-46ba-8586-1a2d487886a4.jpg?v=1571611182 You the guy who ordered the ‘Breakfast Special’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150916 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150916_LR_d26581c5-a378-41e1-bf06-447b20c5cc6e.jpg?v=1571611182 Okay, now shift your weight onto the left leg during the follow-through. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150917 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150917_LR_6107e206-4ef0-44d1-9354-63fc71ccf01f.jpg?v=1571611182 Is that your final answer? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150918 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150918_LR_d0855ca5-1822-4803-8067-b8f5b0d7e304.jpg?v=1571611182 The Museum said if it's not back in one hour, you're in big trouble." https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150919 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150919_LR_a3706542-0aa6-4870-a14f-0a9242453c3d.jpg?v=1571611182 I hope I’m getting my own room. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150921 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150921_LR_3a8a3790-5a04-4f94-b5b8-dab185ad7b9f.jpg?v=1571611183 Whatdya mean I should have told you? I told you weeks ago! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150922 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150922_LR_54afbb86-c4c0-4a69-aaa9-b13059d7821a.jpg?v=1571611183 I think it needs some protein to give it more ’body.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150923 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150923_LR_e9ac93c4-d29b-47f4-8086-52de0ab7b783.jpg?v=1571611183 You wouldn’t let me have a dog… You wouldn’t let me have a cat… https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150924 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150924_LR_79789d36-a3d6-446a-8f26-441231f567b6.jpg?v=1571611183 I can only say I’ll let you know. I have another 400 applicants to see. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150925 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150925_LR_02ce9246-49c9-48b3-81d3-d30d0235fbf5.jpg?v=1571611183 Where’s your fork? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150926 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150926_LR_d56b2588-0d9a-498d-92e5-5b50dbda85e6.jpg?v=1571611183 If you don’t believe men came from monkeys, go and take a good look at your father. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150928 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150928_LR_4eae5ba7-552d-4683-bae7-c431ded25079.jpg?v=1571611183 Did you make a computer date with someone named Yvonne? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150929 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150929_LR_47e7eb81-405c-47bf-ad44-c4e027432408.jpg?v=1571611183 How come I never hear you say ‘please’ and ‘thank-you’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm150930 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM150930_LR_d1c9e4d4-68b5-4fda-9026-a0efb1952bbc.jpg?v=1571611183 Are you sure he told you to stick a barometer in my mouth? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151001 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151001_LR_d1dac926-33eb-49f4-b48b-788012d0a564.jpg?v=1571611183 I coulda sold a million albums by now if you hadn’t made me take singing lessons. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151002 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151002_LR_1c72694f-94f7-493e-ad34-475010e1e50d.jpg?v=1571611183 He’ll be okay. He overdosed on sunflower seeds. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151003 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151003_LR_c9196963-9a97-4c5e-8001-6063ebcc2b9b.jpg?v=1571611183 Yeah, well I guess if the Doc says to stay in bed for the rest of the day, I’d better stay. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151005 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151005_LR_6a7dab6a-d58d-4801-9250-d9592fe55c16.jpg?v=1571611183 Next time your car won’t start, try calling a mechanic. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151006 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151006_LR_bde09088-5954-4cdc-89f1-129902895d4e.jpg?v=1571611183 For the money I’m paying, I hope you’re painting the real me. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151007 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151007_LR_1c6ff641-9475-4ea6-a0bf-2a7e5a5bd186.jpg?v=1571611183 How can I throw in the towel before the bell for round one? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151008 2026-07-21T08:01:24-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151008_LR_5ffdb74a-b4f0-45f6-b76a-834ba938e814.jpg?v=1571611183 Been here long, Pop?