https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151009 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151009_LR_d558d5bf-8714-462c-950d-71a2e3530e84.jpg?v=1571611183 What? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151010 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151010_LR_3bd827d4-620d-492c-9f9c-6cbcc561bfeb.jpg?v=1571611183 Now you’re in Grade 4, Daddy’s not going to be able to help you with your homework anymore. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151012 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151012_LR_f2e6eb82-cf0d-4846-bcc1-69281864cd0a.jpg?v=1571611183 The Doctor says he’ll see the gentleman with the Ebola virus first. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151013 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151013_LR_26710417-c4f4-4608-9651-736fd3c40e34.jpg?v=1571611183 Not another war movie! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151014 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151014_LR_981f246d-e9f7-4ca2-8323-6ac02c3c18b5.jpg?v=1571611183 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151015 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151015_LR_5860dccc-efa5-4d9d-b715-661edc92d27f.jpg?v=1571611183 You gotta stop throwing food at Daddy. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151016 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151016_LR_8687f5ea-45e1-45c6-9772-876aca147621.jpg?v=1571611183 These fireplace logs are just pieces of a tree. Haven’t you got any of the real plastic ones? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151017 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151017_LR_a94be597-703d-49ee-8a48-49e95bd4b110.jpg?v=1571611183 Where do I put my mouth? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151019 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151019_LR_b919be85-c6df-4c76-93a6-32ca6a0e132d.jpg?v=1571611183 If I can’t afford to buy a really expensive birthday gift, I don’t buy anything at all. So I didn’t buy you anything. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151020 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151020_LR_56245fe5-a406-4677-a2e0-f2a96827fbd2.jpg?v=1571611183 Doc. it’s a marvelous idea! You fill ‘em up with flu vaccine and put them on all the chairs in your waiting room. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151021 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151021_LR_70897621-65f3-4517-acc3-478611a67878.jpg?v=1571611183 What are you taking? We’re only going to the zoo. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151022 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151022_LR_b0a37965-8e1b-44d3-b7da-9e4212f0b6cb.jpg?v=1571611183 I know you take a shower almost every day. You almost took one Monday, you almost took one Tuesday… https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151023 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151023_LR_819fede6-620a-41c8-b0fe-b2fe443383f6.jpg?v=1571611183 There you go! I forged your signature. You’re in the Marines. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151024 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151024_LR_dd80f5fc-d202-4a25-a0c4-2a0f90fbd16c.jpg?v=1571611183 Want me to check your horoscope? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151026 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151026_LR_807e6c80-16d5-4041-a5ce-2a1570ef7c48.jpg?v=1571611183 I admit it looks horrible but it’s still not grounds for divorce. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151027 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151027_LR_53639ec5-7fd0-42f8-ac32-ca67632e7b06.jpg?v=1571611183 Got any wide-bottom shirts? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151028 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151028_LR_bb10683e-1a3f-4ee4-a8c5-7c3a98d96334.jpg?v=1571611183 Wake up! He's playing doctor and wants to saw off your leg. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151029 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151029_LR_7cb690d8-0f92-4ee2-a6e1-54df86a1d68d.jpg?v=1571611184 I hope all that screaming is not from the one I’m getting. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151030 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151030_LR_3432b79b-532e-4780-85d7-f7698f79905e.jpg?v=1571611184 This fortune cookie says, ‘Very sorry, your overcoat stolen.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151031 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151031_LR_1bde8c35-0b78-48cf-a656-91c995aac1ae.jpg?v=1571611184 Have we been married 50 years, 60 years or 70 years? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151102 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151102_LR_090fec3e-d3d1-4726-80b1-cdf16dd28612.jpg?v=1571611184 You can wait for him if you like. He’s doing six months for ‘embezzlement.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151103 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151103_LR_82f393d4-40d9-4834-9d16-c99e21921481.jpg?v=1571611184 That’s the first time I’ve seen your mother leave the table without a second helping. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151104 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151104_LR_e8af2a70-cd3a-433c-97ac-aebf071fa1b9.jpg?v=1571611184 Mommy, Herman said he’d love you to come for the weekend. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151105 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151105_LR_8b58fd86-1896-4cea-b602-c4c500310930.jpg?v=1571611184 You one of those speed readers? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151106 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151106_LR_85935fb3-2428-44cf-9c65-12800188b816.jpg?v=1571611184 How come my photo’s got all these little holes in it? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151107 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151107_LR_8c66ea48-83e6-458c-9f14-3648a6f6187c.jpg?v=1571611184 Quit griping! D’you want your windows washed or not? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151109 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151109_LR_c01b5736-b2f1-4021-a43b-21693afc34de.jpg?v=1571611184 What’s the matter with you! Can’t you save that for during the commercials? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151110 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151110_LR_3749fb8f-a80d-4ded-9974-473d9025d3db.jpg?v=1571611184 Who do you think’s gonna drink that? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151111 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151111_LR_e9298cc7-322d-4065-bc7b-73f011eb1ad8.jpg?v=1571611184 I claim this planet in the name of Bluggrovia. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151112 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151112_LR_e9d1ede0-82a6-44b3-8cd8-c80a0fb648ec.jpg?v=1571611184 Take one of these with water half-an-hour before you wake up every morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151113 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151113_LR_34320593-51fd-4ab5-b888-a8947cb4cc80.jpg?v=1571611184 Take that back and cook it! It’s already eaten half the french fries. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151114 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151114_LR_01a679e4-bc01-4bb2-b077-103db9c6ddfc.jpg?v=1571611184 Boy! Did you see that ugly kid? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151116 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151116_LR_bc4bfd26-2814-499a-86d6-a7e2efff0216.jpg?v=1571611184 Sure, I’ll have a glass of milk. Make it a ‘double.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151117 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151117_LR_94f6e404-c9c4-41c2-9092-a4115f60e3e9.jpg?v=1571611184 Take your time; just pick out the man who told you he was an ‘out-of-work jockey’! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151118 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151118_LR_a104b3c8-d069-4725-b565-d36de86d4438.jpg?v=1571611184 Is the guy in the green jacket the one who complained about the baked potatoes? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151119 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151119_LR_bd7f1af8-f56d-4614-9172-abb313e341db.jpg?v=1571611184 In describing your ‘general physical appearance,’ I’ll just say you’re looking for a girl with a good sense of humour. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151120 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151120_LR_340f4f94-d515-4b86-abba-051cbde42e76.jpg?v=1571611184 When you’ve got a minute, I’ll have a box of parrot food. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151121 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151121_LR_e8aecc0f-e093-4419-820e-a84819e08400.jpg?v=1571611184 This was in the garbage compacter. It’s either my hair-piece or the cat. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151123 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151123_LR_6f9f83f0-8b48-4042-92d4-53cb4608de52.jpg?v=1571611184 Six times six is 54! Don’t they teach you anything at that school? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151124 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151124_LR_2274f194-a9c7-4ffe-81b3-e031fde9a51b.jpg?v=1571611184 It’s a new game called ‘Prize Fight.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151125 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151125_LR_2ec9ad0d-bad2-4a99-b013-b2904cdf3924.jpg?v=1571611184 I’ve never heard of Mantovani. You sure you don’t mean ‘Badass Divas"? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151126 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151126_LR_e361224d-e393-4e8a-b25c-dddd35033a02.jpg?v=1571611184 What’s to understand? You convince your mother you don’t need your teeth fixed and I give you $50. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151127 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151127_LR_ae20e7e5-2954-415f-9428-70edc063ee9a.jpg?v=1571611184 How do you plead to the charge of speeding? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151128 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151128_LR_0b84cf38-57e3-4808-ac96-0ab244ecae53.jpg?v=1571611184 If you’d buy me a dishwasher, you’d have more time to help out around here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151130 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151130_LR_a38fc8ce-a82e-4454-8183-3802979320f1.jpg?v=1571611184 I know it’s only our first date, but I’ve got this crazy feeling that we were made for each other. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151201 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151201_LR_1a3e571e-b0dd-4ee7-90f8-e702f0463ad9.jpg?v=1571611184 Well, at least we know why you were a cook in the navy! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151202 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151202_LR_44e0814e-5ccf-47e2-b9cc-14922d1f10bd.jpg?v=1571611184 Sorry about your window, I’m practicing for the Olympics. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151203 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151203_LR_8db4aaab-f845-4df4-b61e-8a372761eac3.jpg?v=1571611185 There’s not much here. The only description he can give us is red socks, brown shoes with black laces. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151204 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151204_LR_792cb3d7-2c86-4c72-858c-ae2c1373abf1.jpg?v=1571611185 Herman, here’s your ax back. Now can I borrow your chain saw? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151205 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151205_LR_1cae4adb-260f-4ad3-a5d3-0ed9b3099972.jpg?v=1571611185 I’ve unclogged the upstairs bath. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151207 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151207_LR_aa5cdf93-15c9-4896-9d20-295fa50bdc1b.jpg?v=1571611185 Keep out! Keep out! K-E-E-P O-U-T. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151208 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151208_LR_959d0bd6-733e-4760-b6de-75fcd2f2c234.jpg?v=1571611185 As you can see, the Genius fixed my washer. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151209 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151209_LR_76213e3d-0478-41a2-8c85-bdf37792087a.jpg?v=1571611185 Of course it’s dangerous. I didn’t get to be a general without taking chances. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151210 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151210_LR_d1a6b5e2-fd24-4e98-b7f8-e10ad6bb4b0c.jpg?v=1571611185 Of course your operation is ‘absolutely necessary.’ Without it I don’t get a summer vacation. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151211 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151211_LR_38830239-ba5b-4b9a-8c5d-81f2c3eacf50.jpg?v=1571611185 You’ll need a lighter shade with that tie. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151212 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151212_LR_391b1782-a51c-416a-9608-bccd26710de2.jpg?v=1571611185 If you’re gonna buy a hairpiece, buy one! Don’t keep drawing all over the mirrors. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151214 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151214_LR_3b3fb544-9a81-4d81-9f53-fd126d6466ce.jpg?v=1571611185 Listen, if you buy the jacket, we’ll burn the one you’re wearing free of charge. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151215 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151215_LR_cc95f691-ad32-4178-8bea-bb15cf8a0e40.jpg?v=1571611185 They say you get what you pay for: It cost me $4 to get marrried. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151216 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151216_LR_e4d897f5-387e-4ace-8791-c76e818a78dd.jpg?v=1571611185 Mr. Kelly, that man’s here about the job. He doesn’t look too bright. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151217 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151217_LR_a55c6591-81d3-4f8b-8b0a-e6009abd2bcb.jpg?v=1571611185 You’ll get used to it. A fireman lives upstairs. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151218 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151218_LR_2a0841ec-c5fe-4066-9cfb-ec58c5ea4445.jpg?v=1571611185 I’ll take over, Wilson. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151219 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151219_LR_2dfd8815-7285-4375-92c0-d0a7d10c6e1f.jpg?v=1571611185 I know you’ve been late for work twice this week. I still think it’s stupid to sleep in the car! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151221 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151221_LR_283c4dbc-d60e-4eee-918d-8aab6620c4e0.jpg?v=1571611185 How was Africa? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151222 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151222_LR_818104b5-d10f-46dc-ba8a-22efbebe6fd6.jpg?v=1571611185 No, you can’t wear it to school. Put it back on the wall. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151223 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151223_LR_58678fe0-c2c0-47b4-a8e3-8a985cf974fd.jpg?v=1571611185 You’d better not bring my brother anything! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151224 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151224_LR_9878a7e0-da64-4f54-86e5-36fdd8676ba8.jpg?v=1571611185 We don’t need to buy a turkey. I’ve still got last year’s leftovers. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151225 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151225_LR_43220fe3-725c-42e2-91b4-e928d9fe89ce.jpg?v=1571611185 Just stay under there and give everybody else a happy Christmas. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151226 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151226_LR_6e5b2d62-c809-441b-920b-4e49d18b4e02.jpg?v=1571611185 I am grateful! But I distinctly remember asking for a cheese sandwich. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151228 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151228_LR_5dbe9d3f-1d5f-430d-a965-6b3d98be75b7.jpg?v=1571611185 Mom, why don’t you get a divorce and marry someone with more money? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151229 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151229_LR_92af13f3-581c-41cf-94c6-f676c9442594.jpg?v=1571611185 I can get a court order to stop you from teaching her to cook. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151230 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151230_LR_a9bed297-736f-4a14-a341-4476896504fe.jpg?v=1571611185 I know you want to play Hamlet, but for this one television commercial you’re a stick of celery. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm151231 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM151231_LR_cc995b4d-e0d5-4c88-8e25-cb045f75a027.jpg?v=1571611185 We implant this behind your left ear and you won’t even know it’s there. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160101 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160101_LR_d9f8fa07-9492-4daa-9535-1dacc86d9f9d.jpg?v=1571611185 What made you give up the ‘fight game’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160102 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160102_LR_5b235487-8a27-412a-96d4-748cd8bd86fa.jpg?v=1571611185 The bottom’s dropped out of the market. I’ve lost 18 bucks. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160104 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160104_LR_cf627499-5184-4ebc-8f50-be9f775250bb.jpg?v=1571611185 You told me to use my initiative if I needed money, so I sold your car. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160105 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160105_LR_ffbf491a-7a73-4d45-8e32-7709bbe8c995.jpg?v=1571611185 Try again, sir; that was my foot. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160106 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160106_LR_fc78d95c-c135-4142-99b9-99b8bc60afda.jpg?v=1571611185 It’s been postponed. He’s got a headache. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160107 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160107_LR_a5bd902e-9cba-4208-a817-9d242cb0fe99.jpg?v=1571611185 I wouldn’t know a ‘home-run’ if I saw one. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160108 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160108_LR_5f9cd78f-1fe1-4739-a959-dcd93e7b0f37.jpg?v=1571611185 They wouldn’t let people stand here if it was dangerous. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160109 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160109_LR_873da335-b4cc-43ac-9f57-b24255037bef.jpg?v=1571611186 Got a table for two near the exit? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160111 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160111_LR_1c21d7dd-b833-451c-821d-8c051763b380.jpg?v=1571611186 Mind your own business! This is how I like it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160112 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160112_LR_d6bcdf2c-bc66-411a-8a84-503fa8bd1f93.jpg?v=1571611186 You left the ‘w’ out of ‘twenty’! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160113 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160113_LR_ca7e74ac-cc36-4e49-b56f-57e5bc15a6ec.jpg?v=1571611186 I gotta write a poem about Dad. What rhymes with ‘el dummo’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160114 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160114_LR_c032e33d-3004-430a-b049-91fe629c0c47.jpg?v=1571611186 Hold still! I dropped my little mirror. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160115 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160115_LR_4d8a9823-ec49-4f90-a31d-49025eef6851.jpg?v=1571611186 You say you were helping your husband move furniture and it just ‘locked’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160116 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160116_LR_623c8d5a-547f-4062-aa35-2f91c5cebd34.jpg?v=1571611186 Keep those press and TV people out of here ‘til we’ve had a chance to explain what’s wrong with him. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160118 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160118_LR_c0130720-0806-400e-b4ad-c18919fd564b.jpg?v=1571611186 There. Everybody owes me a dollar. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160119 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160119_LR_c0a600a8-600d-4dab-bf00-8e873f117fd2.jpg?v=1571611186 D’you wanna give any money to save Norwegian crocodiles? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160120 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160120_LR_811aaac1-632e-4d6a-a79f-8583365a9eb9.jpg?v=1571611186 I told you on the phone she had a lot of hair. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160121 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160121_LR_6a301f11-ea29-4df1-b9d7-7e22492158d4.jpg?v=1571611186 If we don’t go to the zoo tomorrow, you’d better get yourself a good lawyer. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160122 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160122_LR_9c097812-75d7-4734-81a9-b9a083e684d2.jpg?v=1571611186 You’re not gonna putt 387 yards? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160123 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160123_LR_ea32827e-86f1-44d6-92d3-41cdd1ea2c0f.jpg?v=1571611186 I bet your mother’s pie wasn’t as soft as that. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160125 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160125_LR_bd5fac87-a38b-4beb-a421-4ad8663e6ff8.jpg?v=1571611186 You’re not making any sense! First you say your wife ran off with your best friend and then you tell us you never actually met the guy. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160126 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160126_LR_b4547c2d-37e6-4828-8f12-da250c289f0d.jpg?v=1571611186 That too tight? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160127 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160127_LR_587d2dff-634e-4335-95ba-61f4f4091ee3.jpg?v=1571611186 I’m so desperate for a job, I’ll even start at the bottom if it’s absolutely necessary. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160128 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160128_LR_2ce7c95e-74a8-4652-b736-e67da1cee1c2.jpg?v=1571611186 It’s a guy from the zoo calling from across the street. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160129 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160129_LR_a079d039-dea8-4a08-b141-fc9886c9b9f2.jpg?v=1571611186 I can’t see any sense in this! We passed about 10 fish markets on the way here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160130 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160130_LR_b634ce6c-b29e-4902-8f7a-d4573cfaabfe.jpg?v=1571611186 If you want instant coffee, you’ll have to wait! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160201 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160201_LR_6d8b63bb-3848-47f6-b0a6-cf11f07cdda9.jpg?v=1571611186 He won’t eat! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160202 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160202_LR_2aef9d4f-8b41-4572-899d-579d01c19808.jpg?v=1571611186 How is it I take a shower every day and do it without stepping on the soap? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160203 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160203_LR_08f821a3-567a-451c-9010-47e555358bce.jpg?v=1571611186 So sorry I woke you! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160204 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160204_LR_cc54ab7d-1294-4606-9975-67d806775156.jpg?v=1571611186 While you’re taking time off from work, just remember where you got the germs. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160205 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160205_LR_0659b03a-52aa-437a-adfd-b20e51e9a8cc.jpg?v=1571611186 I haven’t changed much since I was 18, have I? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160206 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160206_LR_df685465-8a86-435f-919b-015298145204.jpg?v=1571611186 Look at the dopey names on this menu! What’s an ‘elk-burger’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160208 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160208_LR_f914807f-0d1b-4ba1-81fe-4e2e0645b490.jpg?v=1571611186 Can you send someone over? The TV’s making a high-pitched whistling sound. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160209 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160209_LR_3d3fdc4b-5a56-4dc3-82db-221c0516e279.jpg?v=1571611186 It’s been brought to my attention that you retired 30 years ago. Where do you get the nerve to draw a pension for that long? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160210 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160210_LR_22d14bd0-017a-4168-8d43-e66906805e34.jpg?v=1571611186 Thanks for looking after the bird while I was away. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160211 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160211_LR_4e45c54d-7629-4202-86d4-3779248c959e.jpg?v=1571611186 What’s a good hand signal for backing onto a freeway? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160212 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160212_LR_184263e2-445a-43fd-8fa9-5605686b83b3.jpg?v=1571611186 You mustn’t stand here looking so bored. You’re supposed to be having a good time! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160213 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160213_LR_e64696a1-ea7c-400c-aba3-df8a1bcc271e.jpg?v=1571611186 Your wife is still under the anesthetic and from what I’ve heard, this would be a good time to see her. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160215 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160215_LR_1da3a0af-c6be-4ba1-beaa-43d8cf38eaeb.jpg?v=1571611186 It says ‘parental guidance recommended.’ You gonna call your mother? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160216 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160216_LR_a0872113-d3b5-4056-b86a-f17f0667324f.jpg?v=1571611187 Nice tackle, Ron! I think you’ll make the team. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160217 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160217_LR_9b120bb7-018a-4d18-9dbf-e488545a4a7f.jpg?v=1571611187 Grab his legs! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160218 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160218_LR_11a3834f-bff3-4b64-9036-666db38ed382.jpg?v=1571611187 I’m still awake, you know! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160219 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160219_LR_7bbb959d-6241-4860-b36a-9f473faa18ee.jpg?v=1571611187 There’s a guy at the door who wants to know what I think of ‘sexual equality.’ What should I tell him? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160220 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160220_LR_b6347566-b03b-4aa8-93fe-d3e25009e2d5.jpg?v=1571611187 Get this straight! If people only retire when they’re no longer productive, you should’ve gone 10 years ago! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160222 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160222_LR_ce160e05-f2ae-4358-aa4d-6eba45f6d929.jpg?v=1571611187 Albert, the doctor says I need more exercise. I want you to start jogging for me. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160223 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160223_LR_326c1fc8-0636-450e-ad58-cf35da32ad80.jpg?v=1571611187 If my dad asks you what you do for a living, say you’re a marine biologist. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160224 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160224_LR_8d27604e-2dfb-4c36-b075-ca635df72be3.jpg?v=1571611187 Dearly beloved, as this is John’s third wedding and Betty’s second, I’ll make this as brief as possible. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160225 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160225_LR_55c369f4-8b8b-4ff1-a9ca-682d31bf9032.jpg?v=1571611187 I’ve just seen those big lumpy things since we got here — but so far, no real people. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160226 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160226_LR_15912934-5216-4a4f-b965-7b167db12f2c.jpg?v=1571611187 I’m making her a coat the same as yours. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160227 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160227_LR_bd0515b9-919a-4c5c-8b17-f2546c5532e5.jpg?v=1571611187 Gesundheit! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160229 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160229_LR_36cda581-8f88-4a08-88a2-ccce2a35b2b6.jpg?v=1571611187 How am I supposed to watch TV when he’s always wearing my glasses? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160301 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160301_LR_35b11a76-6ead-4421-9606-3e783dc4a89f.jpg?v=1571611187 I told you to sip it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160302 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160302_LR_5c67829f-b1b3-40ec-828f-ebb8e4aff7a8.jpg?v=1571611187 I was gonna give you fresh garden peas but I couldn’t find the can opener. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160303 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160303_LR_922cef76-238f-43c1-9cce-891029c1da1c.jpg?v=1571611187 This room you gave me overlooking the ocean. Is that the Pacific, or the Atlantic? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160304 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160304_LR_8e65e3f2-47db-4ef6-a685-cc0674d86734.jpg?v=1571611187 Dig up your father or you won’t get any ice cream. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160305 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160305_LR_7cc4ca3f-2297-4cf0-854b-2d241bc187b0.jpg?v=1571611187 Move over a bit. I can’t see the Grand Canyon. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160307 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160307_LR_2473cef6-4ebe-415b-9c15-6e25fd016c5b.jpg?v=1571611187 I can’t make egg on toast. It keeps rolling off. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160308 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160308_LR_ec8c1957-5340-4ca0-a211-df437ae82738.jpg?v=1571611187 What was that clown next door saying about building a new closet? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160309 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160309_LR_e1269360-2e8b-41e6-a7e2-530df8d03da5.jpg?v=1571611187 I finally tracked down your records. I had them in the ‘dead’ file. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160310 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160310_LR_0f12a8dd-c0b4-437a-8f7f-128a8ced4a65.jpg?v=1571611187 Take a look up the road and see if my boss is coming. A little ugly guy with a bald head. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160311 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160311_LR_347972ce-cbc7-45ce-abf3-afc2679d7112.jpg?v=1571611187 For a minute there I thought you were Beyoncé. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160312 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160312_LR_fa6873cd-0130-4fc5-b9e3-76868649f3f4.jpg?v=1571611187 I didn’t like the look of that fish when I gave it to him. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160314 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160314_LR_e2a1cc15-7a7d-4481-9a31-f571433e7e07.jpg?v=1571611187 The forecast said there’s a 50 percent chance of rain so Genius is watering half the lawn. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160315 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160315_LR_e7a0c68f-61ac-4d20-b278-f010da84ac42.jpg?v=1571611187 Did you see where that one went? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160316 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160316_LR_08d609c0-8aeb-41cc-8ca2-a9d2669570ff.jpg?v=1571611187 Will you get your cat off this bed! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160317 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160317_LR_6ee8a461-6cd8-43c8-aadc-956756c0a9a7.jpg?v=1571611187 Look at my wall! Can’t you tell the difference between bug-killer and spray-paint? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160318 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160318_LR_fc1e39ac-5c25-4795-a813-bef69c00d2ff.jpg?v=1571611187 I wish you wouldn’t keep reading while I’m trying to watch TV. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160319 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160319_LR_8ba310fd-b2bd-426d-9cf7-879984be1c81.jpg?v=1571611188 Just the usual full-moon crowd. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160321 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160321_LR_10864510-2922-49e1-ad81-9ef0a4e19771.jpg?v=1571611188 A car or boat, maybe; but I’m not lending you money for food. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160322 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160322_LR_010c7fb0-bb72-4c7a-bf07-5e305d8fea38.jpg?v=1571611188 Teacher says if I don’t do well at school, I’ll end up like you. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160323 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160323_LR_8fe97614-c908-43b7-b3fd-e5b75927bfce.jpg?v=1571611188 You’re not drinking your water! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160324 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160324_LR_4c4beed9-2081-4c7e-8d49-0ccfd485a6eb.jpg?v=1571611188 I guess you don’t read so good. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160325 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160325_LR_a4df2adb-93fe-468a-bf67-48ab32ce6bd7.jpg?v=1571611188 Close the account? You mean you want to draw out the whole 90 cents? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160326 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160326_LR_1ce42fd3-e9b6-4850-b3f9-6e598c2c3575.jpg?v=1571611188 WHAT ARE YOU BLAMING ME FOR? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160328 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160328_LR_62b7aa9f-a866-4009-bc17-18043a7182f0.jpg?v=1571611188 Harry across the street says we’ve got a big silver thing parked on our roof. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160329 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160329_LR_51676445-5572-4c42-a305-c7eb52a9de07.jpg?v=1571611188 Richest blend in the world. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160330 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160330_LR_2ee163bd-49fa-43ed-ba4f-34b4e565fffb.jpg?v=1571611188 You the young fella thinking of buying the farm? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160331 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160331_LR_8b62d02b-5006-4fbe-a496-463a1a2406ed.jpg?v=1571611188 Gold’s gone up to 87 cents an ounce! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160401 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160401_LR_f1c5b841-c35d-4975-9992-539efa712cd2.jpg?v=1571611188 Linda, those pants we had on sale… were they machine washable? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160402 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160402_LR_a3be22ad-a0c1-4d74-8820-2384d994b4be.jpg?v=1571611188 When I was your age, I was the only one to have an engagement ring that squirted water.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160404 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160404_LR_cbd6ecbd-2088-4378-9712-6f191f4c61ee.jpg?v=1571611188 I’m putting you on probation. That means no more mugging for 12 months. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160405 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160405_LR_2d41acd7-e6d3-402a-b24d-e1b3837bfae5.jpg?v=1571611188 His bark’s a lot worse than his bite. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160406 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160406_LR_71bf2810-870d-47b7-8e8d-99d5669dd7f1.jpg?v=1571611188 Piano movers! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160407 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160407_LR_8eaf16a5-1e26-4c64-9166-8bce042f3bc2.jpg?v=1571611188 Can you turn this way a little bit? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160408 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160408_LR_ef152d54-68f5-4ff7-b1a5-ea375f89a475.jpg?v=1571611188 At least try the earrings! This lot cost me $6. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160409 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160409_LR_91dd2d57-18f3-4ed2-8750-f2947e3337f6.jpg?v=1571611188 Hidden camera commercial, take 9. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160411 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160411_LR_f3641b5e-da6f-47f7-9ce6-a291de1a845f.jpg?v=1571611188 When they invented the first clock, how did they know what time to set it? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160412 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160412_LR_e626e660-b89e-4153-8683-7233b0c771fe.jpg?v=1571611188 You come 50 million miles and all you can tell me is, ‘Stick that meat on the fire; it’ll taste better’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160413 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160413_LR_6a7c5664-6b07-4154-a41c-25d35b837e3a.jpg?v=1571611188 Can we use this as a picnic table? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160414 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160414_LR_65c9ec8a-ceaf-47dd-abc6-63a358474004.jpg?v=1571611188 Whiplash! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160415 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160415_LR_067f3bf7-64ea-448b-9ab9-ef18adc594d1.jpg?v=1571611188 As soon as you feel a headache coming on, give your wife two of these. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160416 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160416_LR_eba001b9-5cb6-4f4d-8a2b-7a608c17a00a.jpg?v=1571611188 I’ll take a check if you’ve got some identification. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160418 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160418_LR_23bb20a1-7043-41c8-8df0-13da8df0d72c.jpg?v=1571611188 My future father-in-law says you’re the best barber in town. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160419 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160419_LR_fc907354-0cd8-4130-aa7b-a870eeaa63ac.jpg?v=1571611188 Does he bite? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160420 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160420_LR_4a62e5a6-8515-4ce8-a882-287ed3132ca3.jpg?v=1571611188 The capital of Holland is ‘H.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160421 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160421_LR_9d416c5a-d78a-4956-9c2b-f82df8fd7292.jpg?v=1571611188 You shouldn’t upset your wife like that. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160422 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160422_LR_4b70165f-52cd-467b-aeb9-2a446abb9475.jpg?v=1571611188 Visiting hours are 2 ‘til 4 p.m. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160423 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160423_LR_15211c2c-bff2-445c-a082-740be80fedac.jpg?v=1571611189 The TV won’t be ready ‘til next Friday. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160425 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160425_LR_43570af5-9247-443c-a5b1-45268ea9b855.jpg?v=1571611189 As soon as someone discovers gravity, they’ll all hit the ground. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160426 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160426_LR_4b9299a0-b076-4cc7-84dc-109c5174c672.jpg?v=1571611189 Look at my rug! I told you not to put exploding cheese down the mouseholes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160427 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160427_LR_918949ba-fc7b-48fa-8bc7-47b41e204430.jpg?v=1571611189 Getting married is a big step. I’ll need some time to think about it. What was your name again? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160428 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160428_LR_0446c56c-133c-4ba2-97bb-31fec151baf9.jpg?v=1571611189 It looks better in the other room. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160429 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160429_LR_abefd954-16b9-42b6-bfed-d23cea3e36b2.jpg?v=1571611189 Look, as soon as a private room becomes available, you’ll get one. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160430 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160430_LR_fb66b298-7543-4c6a-9cbe-00eb4efd2d8b.jpg?v=1571611189 Is it OK if I scratch my ear? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160502 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160502_LR_e42848df-7b79-4aca-bd18-2d5ea70937f5.jpg?v=1571611189 The judge gave my lawyer five years before he even got around to me! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160503 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160503_LR_b6b36cfc-a985-491a-955e-5dc2cd0ef3fb.jpg?v=1571611189 It’ll go away if you don’t keep looking at it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160504 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160504_LR_b1e5e831-eb3a-4a55-8b17-abc0eada5179.jpg?v=1571611189 I don’t know how you manage to eat all my cooking and never put on any weight. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160505 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160505_LR_2d750d3f-f54b-49d5-8043-02bbb0c7083d.jpg?v=1571611189 That one’s automatic. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160506 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160506_LR_1c62d912-1581-49cf-9966-4cddbd79433f.jpg?v=1571611189 This your idea of babysitting, is it? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160507 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160507_LR_493f96e2-239d-43e9-acbe-3b20dd3b2fbe.jpg?v=1571611189 Grandma, I can see where Dad gets his whiskers! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160509 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160509_LR_83c64aa5-1a5f-45f2-a6f5-f3b70e6d10ff.jpg?v=1571611189 It took me three hours, but I finally discovered why you’re limping. You lost the heel off your shoe. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160510 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160510_LR_7b96dcd2-688b-4c32-afaa-9159a3be939b.jpg?v=1571611189 How much longer you gonna be in this bathroom? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160511 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160511_LR_77b39e59-0e45-4266-bdf6-582f25a08367.jpg?v=1571611189 I was cleaning it! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160512 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160512_LR_0d95360c-7583-45e6-b713-7f8130a5794c.jpg?v=1571611189 I’ve got the results of your X-rays. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160513 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160513_LR_26897dad-08f0-46a1-9e35-619014561b63.jpg?v=1571611189 Whaddya mean, it’s only a model? How much bigger d’you wanna build it? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160514 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160514_LR_1a314a0b-b249-4c35-8de1-985e5a6b24d9.jpg?v=1571611189 Are you coming hunting, or are you gonna sit around here all day inventing? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160516 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160516_LR_a83b82e8-143e-4d6a-9e08-8b9e2e401363.jpg?v=1571611189 This one’s supposed to go ‘snap, crackle, BOOM’! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160517 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160517_LR_892ab78f-6d49-4ad4-b470-a6574c38c6be.jpg?v=1571611189 You forgot to pay the window cleaner again! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160518 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160518_LR_72a4b4c4-476e-4c82-a719-a3ac50853099.jpg?v=1571611189 You after another pay raise? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160519 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160519_LR_26a2fd63-6b63-4bde-ac4d-dcccd398a0bb.jpg?v=1571611189 Your honor, my client is the product of a broken home. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160520 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160520_LR_4fa41ba9-3fcc-42b0-a3f5-4f67011fa862.jpg?v=1571611189 Why didn’t you say you wanted a sandwich while I was in the kitchen? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160521 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160521_LR_4bca47f1-2153-4eb1-85fd-85d71c331972.jpg?v=1571611189 If they ever edit this for television, it’ll run about two minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160523 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160523_LR_a83d7ca6-daf4-458e-97ed-29a9fcb317f0.jpg?v=1571611189 We’re short of plates! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160524 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160524_LR_515d2d17-4673-4588-a2b1-bdfa460f1112.jpg?v=1571611189 What sort of dog eats carrots? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160525 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160525_LR_cec15b54-2f09-4b90-a863-b4401399d621.jpg?v=1571611189 He gets me out for a little exercise. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160526 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160526_LR_ae6a45ad-e8b4-48b0-84c5-e3723052bb47.jpg?v=1571611189 And in recognition of your 20 years loyal service in the X-ray department… https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160527 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160527_LR_0a16d38c-d4ee-4ae6-9675-a5b502b1f383.jpg?v=1571611190 You have my word of honor, it is only a rabies shot. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160528 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160528_LR_36002a44-1771-4750-ac3b-f8f6054b2649.jpg?v=1571611190 I still have to give you a ticket. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160530 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160530_LR_91d76a68-a3c1-494e-91dd-89c366b76edd.jpg?v=1571611190 He still owe you that twenty bucks? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160531 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160531_LR_fbd27d6e-39a0-46ee-a28c-7a1b1fefdd47.jpg?v=1571611190 We been to the museums. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160601 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160601_LR_1a45f443-d3a4-45cf-a83c-80e041af56f3.jpg?v=1571611190 The guy across the street wants to know what you’re cooking. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160602 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160602_LR_88bc7583-04a4-4561-9942-de74522ccb29.jpg?v=1571611190 You can go to Las Vegas if you’re lucky enough to make it through this door. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160603 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160603_LR_0b5d2409-4fd4-472b-aa2a-bd25ab7c5f34.jpg?v=1571611190 Pssst… D’you wanna buy a burglar-proof lock? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160604 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160604_LR_b51234d5-0a2f-430a-8a69-d0ca4c65f850.jpg?v=1571611190 Your car’s being recalled. Something to do with the seatbelts. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160606 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160606_LR_4106bb7e-4de3-4a33-a835-064851bd45d4.jpg?v=1571611190 You can’t buy one lettuce anymore. You have to get a package of 10. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160607 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160607_LR_f835c95c-86fd-4709-aa85-aa4626cea940.jpg?v=1571611190 You sure that’s beef? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160608 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160608_LR_946a52a0-ab5d-493d-8253-29d8f9fb6081.jpg?v=1571611190 Number FOUR. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160609 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160609_LR_2ab5f65a-c07f-4b03-9adc-af6c1ab2c2cc.jpg?v=1571611190 How long have you been on the night shift? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160610 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160610_LR_b150e340-0d54-4e5a-ad18-a56233be58aa.jpg?v=1571611190 Boy! I’m glad you’re still awake. I was captured by a UFO and taken to another planet. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160611 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160611_LR_d6e3c150-552a-4080-80b6-c4c3354f09bf.jpg?v=1571611190 My dad says I can’t baby-sit for less than $20 an hour. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160613 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160613_LR_b782213e-b421-4444-b08b-d31e5cbf40c7.jpg?v=1571611190 A 300-year sentence is not so bad nowadays. With good behavior you can be out by August. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160614 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160614_LR_881a1030-446c-4cbe-ab2e-d38a64746c2f.jpg?v=1571611190 Hold on! I’ve dropped a contact lens. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160615 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160615_LR_9b11523d-dadb-42f2-b7d5-d5a1b8ad0160.jpg?v=1571611190 I’m well aware it’s still under warranty. So what? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160616 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160616_LR_e86ad126-1557-408e-be1e-4d02b0826f02.jpg?v=1571611190 The dog not hungry? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160617 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160617_LR_cfe27fff-7f67-47c5-b082-02a78b17f0aa.jpg?v=1571611190 Waiter! There’s a revolting four-letter word in this alphabet soup. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160618 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160618_LR_c227903e-1193-4a8b-b401-9b33d1dbdc1c.jpg?v=1571611190 What you’re looking at could make you a very rich man. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160620 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160620_LR_373aa706-ad09-4ba8-b601-abab1b96f58c.jpg?v=1571611190 Did you remember to bring my sunscreen lotion? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160621 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160621_LR_a29c3006-a712-45b5-b76c-e7ffa10039f2.jpg?v=1571611190 Is this the first time he’s been outside today? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160622 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160622_LR_c3ac6bf5-2486-4c45-a5dc-707ca35693e0.jpg?v=1571611190 Dad, do you think there are people on other planets? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160623 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160623_LR_220ca4c3-d33b-4533-8be5-61a109dc969e.jpg?v=1571611190 You can rent my room and keep all the money if you like. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160624 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160624_LR_5dea3406-f41c-4351-9684-befbadc0f5ad.jpg?v=1571611190 I’d like a second opinion. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160625 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160625_LR_6437e33a-dc73-4f5a-8308-78b24f5bb274.jpg?v=1571611190 Can I make a phone call before I commit myself? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160627 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160627_LR_77bd6f5e-ff4c-4cf9-9915-2860c254ca80.jpg?v=1571611190 How much do you want for these brown ones? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160628 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160628_LR_c54806d0-0495-4426-a193-85998623d69d.jpg?v=1571611190 Why would I marry you for your money? There must be easier ways for me to get my hands on 45 bucks! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160629 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160629_LR_787724e2-63b6-450c-9a64-6d7b2aaac6f7.jpg?v=1571611190 It’s the first time he’s played with the Boston Symphony. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160630 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160630_LR_a59b0643-8e4e-4fba-9ec7-08a150f57045.jpg?v=1571611191 Anyone here fly a 747? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160701 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160701_LR_09a25025-9b10-453f-a2bb-285291461e60.jpg?v=1571611191 I didn’t ask you if you smoked. I said, ‘Do you need any matches’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160702 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160702_LR_fa80e645-54d8-460a-9c34-52773c8ec44e.jpg?v=1571611191 He’s still there! I wish you wouldn’t over-tip like that. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160704 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160704_LR_e88aac48-32cd-45d8-b56b-366667dce0d0.jpg?v=1571611191 He painted this one when he was three years old. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160705 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160705_LR_f0174312-aac5-4fab-9d77-a1af3b378f61.jpg?v=1571611191 No wonder your brother never writes! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160706 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160706_LR_cb21a82b-e366-400e-95f5-0efc0d6a40de.jpg?v=1571611191 We can put all our old junk up here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160707 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160707_LR_33b9d80a-df06-425e-9964-af183c1784c6.jpg?v=1571611191 Try to think of something for me to invent. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160708 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160708_LR_736be6ee-43bf-4449-abbe-459681d2690c.jpg?v=1571611191 Did I say we had to plant them four feet deep? I meant four inches. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160709 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160709_LR_707a18aa-c861-4da8-af12-0eaed5a8aa77.jpg?v=1571611191 You sure you couldn’t find any larger nails? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160711 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160711_LR_8afaec44-5f20-43d1-8f88-5eed52ca257f.jpg?v=1571611191 I can’t remember the last time you put your arm around me at the movies. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160712 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160712_LR_0e1f92d0-68f8-4fc3-9678-aad4fe299f04.jpg?v=1571611191 They’re wearing them like that these days. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160713 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160713_LR_129fa182-10bc-43cc-934e-bad9a3387c64.jpg?v=1571611191 The jury has found you not guilty, but I’m going to give you 2 years just to be on the safe side. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160714 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160714_LR_011b6577-48db-40ac-b7b7-97d9cf7619a1.jpg?v=1571611191 If you don’t buy one of these pencils, you’re placing an unfair burden on the rest of society. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160715 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160715_LR_115c2bf3-ad3c-4fb1-beac-31744807c487.jpg?v=1571611191 I don’t know how you can stay up all night and watch horror movies. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160716 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160716_LR_19555c5f-e6b0-45e2-b286-62c104581d19.jpg?v=1571611191 Are you wearing furry socks? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160718 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160718_LR_6ddcf256-28c9-4d58-bf57-5eef53a499f5.jpg?v=1571611191 What are you eating that for? That’s her model of Mount Everest. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160719 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160719_LR_145117a8-1196-4b43-8dba-8e6e4641d661.jpg?v=1571611191 You’re lucky you were wearing your seatbelt. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160720 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160720_LR_5ef874ab-8792-4426-8fe8-1bbbfd7846e2.jpg?v=1571611191 You’ve laid the new rug! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160721 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160721_LR_5bd6df7f-267a-42c6-bd43-41b7c13b6fd2.jpg?v=1571611191 I put the candles on the cake like you said, and the box caught fire. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160722 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160722_LR_2ce617e5-cb3f-4134-8623-9530876fef29.jpg?v=1571611191 You’re absolutely right, I’m at the wrong house. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160723 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160723_LR_d848fe4b-69f3-491f-9c02-0cbaca86aaf8.jpg?v=1571611191 I told you it wouldn’t stay up there. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160725 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160725_LR_0cf22a96-8545-4840-a82e-f7f677553a5e.jpg?v=1571611191 I didn’t see that. Did you get him with the blueberry or pecan? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160726 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160726_LR_7b88d1ab-85e1-4b0f-a339-b8f7ce85f221.jpg?v=1571611191 I don’t know if they told you outside but I never employ anyone over 5 feet tall. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160727 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160727_LR_bd70de9d-0209-4e24-b28b-3aa336fd74de.jpg?v=1571611191 So anyway, I thought, you won’t be back for 10 minutes. I’ll grab a hot dog. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160728 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160728_LR_5242d87d-0d0a-478a-9153-888dc832ebed.jpg?v=1571611191 Quick! Your mother sent me a birthday present. Get a bucket of water. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160729 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160729_LR_916f656b-6d6e-4164-bd40-b3ea7a92c3f7.jpg?v=1571611191 Every major problem on this planet can be linked to overcrowding. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160730 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160730_LR_70ff10f6-4f9d-40dd-8e3d-af09aae1ec42.jpg?v=1571611191 I hope I’m facing in this direction when I wake up in the morning. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160801 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160801_LR_92ecde85-d66e-4096-b8ed-110166bafeb1.jpg?v=1571611191 Sorry I’m late. I got caught in traffic. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160802 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160802_LR_429f0120-78fb-412b-9701-3704b2e88b1a.jpg?v=1571611191 Don’t spill this; it’s goldfish. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160803 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160803_LR_c4967ba2-41b2-49d0-842c-c389f2d48991.jpg?v=1571611191 D’you know ‘Shine on Harvest Moon’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160804 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160804_LR_0971d58d-4055-444b-92f8-a186d32d54c1.jpg?v=1571611191 Your aunt Frieda has left you $150,000 if you’ll promise to look after her cat. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160805 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160805_LR_dca0d9f1-6589-48a7-97d0-72a266c9fd74.jpg?v=1571611191 What’s the big idea sticking this on the back wall of the garage? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160806 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160806_LR_704f58fd-5fec-4c39-ace0-4b5ba4f0656f.jpg?v=1571611191 I was going to feed your tropical fish but the cat saved me the trouble. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160808 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160808_LR_cb3b1e87-f4f7-491f-850f-f04b5da8c89f.jpg?v=1571611192 Don’t forget the syrup. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160809 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160809_LR_b666bd5d-9b6b-4ffb-8d1d-1efcafc9dd97.jpg?v=1571611192 Are you taking your bikini? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160810 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160810_LR_e21cc126-c487-4654-ad7b-574a60778e08.jpg?v=1571611192 It’s not gonna kill you to help with the dishes once in a while. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160811 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160811_LR_94cc810f-013b-477b-b32f-ea9076e1684a.jpg?v=1571611192 D’you want that slice of pizza you didn’t eat last week? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160812 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160812_LR_d9ca5d7f-4d45-4def-a5f5-58f6fd18ef59.jpg?v=1571611192 Don’t look straight in the mirror this morning. Sneak up on it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160813 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160813_LR_f69d2a54-7fc1-4fdd-910f-09e68383220b.jpg?v=1571611192 Your dinner’s getting cold. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160815 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160815_LR_0c0af068-97a8-4419-a2fc-b40bfb364268.jpg?v=1571611192 I hate giving these injections. Look at my hands shaking. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160816 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160816_LR_58697abd-3c26-492d-a3d1-7ddf81356876.jpg?v=1571611192 Joyce, give this guy a second cup of coffee. He found my car keys. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160817 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160817_LR_3becb65a-2355-43de-af48-4568eac17aa8.jpg?v=1571611192 What’s wrong with me picking up a few extra bucks on the way to the movies? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160818 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160818_LR_106b8f51-a176-4e1d-a0ea-696f88cbbb85.jpg?v=1571611192 If this is gonna make me strong and handsome, I think you’d better eat it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160819 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160819_LR_665f363a-60c0-414f-8f8a-8113a91a8400.jpg?v=1571611192 You can’t rush my chunky stew. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160820 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160820_LR_62a25e01-8254-44eb-9f8c-2effa4b96fce.jpg?v=1571611192 I told you not to jump around upstairs. Look at my lamp! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160822 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160822_LR_64a1524b-2b4b-4e8d-a9dd-19afb89b8db5.jpg?v=1571611192 Hey Bud, I need change. Give me two twenties for this five. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160823 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160823_LR_30aa86dc-9351-41db-bc69-7902aa38d9e9.jpg?v=1571611192 Mother’s sent you a book for your birthday. She says it’s got lots of pictures. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160824 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160824_LR_985dda8d-3be1-4818-9a0c-0c3864be2071.jpg?v=1571611192 We’re demanding more work and less food. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160825 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160825_LR_aed97568-6e2b-4409-baba-8ce791a85c05.jpg?v=1571611192 Wake up. I heard a crash! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160826 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160826_LR_b058e622-1f6a-49a5-89b6-78a69e0b58e6.jpg?v=1571611192 How much longer you gonna be in here? The bread ran out last week and now the coffee and butter are gone. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160827 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160827_LR_1b1e141e-e26e-408a-b761-9b517afa4549.jpg?v=1571611192 Why do I get the feeling that if I drop this check it’ll jump up and break the window? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160829 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160829_LR_0dcd40fa-a3f2-4d2e-9ba8-099a1498ec46.jpg?v=1571611192 You’ll love this place. Palm trees, sandy beaches and a restaurant every 30 feet. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160830 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160830_LR_ad7e01a5-be29-47d8-95ae-784cb51daefc.jpg?v=1571611192 Please let him watch TV! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160831 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160831_LR_80499732-28fc-4fd6-8eb2-1191375ecdce.jpg?v=1571611192 As a last resort, this final attachment will slide into the customer’s pocket and suck out $160. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160901 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160901_LR_f616417e-fb66-4f3d-8879-54049f266e9b.jpg?v=1571611192 If you want to know how you’re going to make your first million, it’ll cost you another five bucks. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160902 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160902_LR_289ed69f-a552-4689-9648-7c61e4803d60.jpg?v=1571611192 It’s a flashlight. I couldn’t find any candles. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160903 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160903_LR_81334971-51ef-4cd0-aba2-17630c16592b.jpg?v=1571611192 All the girls are off sick! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160905 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160905_LR_154bb9db-3771-41fa-b93b-65e3e1d973a5.jpg?v=1571611192 I’ve got to find a kidney that won’t reject YOU. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160906 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160906_LR_26d093c9-b8a9-46a9-9c17-543f41bc14a7.jpg?v=1571611192 The house next door is on fire. D’you wanna watch? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160907 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160907_LR_43fcd727-9005-4303-842c-c56c59894026.jpg?v=1571611192 Well look at that! The store across the street has the same binoculars for $15 less. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160908 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160908_LR_2e97cec9-d354-4ccc-8fdf-3cfe03c23ad6.jpg?v=1571611192 You don’t have to keep smiling for a chest X-ray. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160909 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160909_LR_0b6a6bc1-faeb-4c36-b323-cc85e2b3b2e3.jpg?v=1571611192 I gotta go. There’s a guy waiting to use the phone. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160910 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160910_LR_1fc8732d-e0b9-4f21-8c59-643c421ccb47.jpg?v=1571611192 Three times I’ve asked that waitress to bring you a fork. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160912 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160912_LR_1d5f565e-19fe-4dfb-8e0f-2ab68acd5d32.jpg?v=1571611192 Your hat’s full of cigarette butts again! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160913 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160913_LR_57ddfbf4-907a-407d-8467-c9ef0cc932b7.jpg?v=1571611192 I think you’ll find, Sir, our brochure says ‘safe beach.’ You must have gone into the water. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160914 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160914_LR_fcff88cb-7bf8-4596-ae67-b9d28a47d751.jpg?v=1571611192 If you’re gonna complain, you can cut it yourself. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160915 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160915_LR_e79899b9-01bb-4b5d-a426-951d627b128a.jpg?v=1571611192 The game has been postponed. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160916 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160916_LR_dedeb6e8-6af2-4c66-9e63-87c3bbe76b6f.jpg?v=1571611193 I told you not to try to adjust it yourself. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160917 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160917_LR_d44c7ee9-5722-4c31-81bf-f6ac089078b8.jpg?v=1571611193 We’ve lost your bags, but you get first choice of any bag off Flight 601 from Athens. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160919 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160919_LR_a987d8ff-3145-41d9-85d3-6179f5d2e4be.jpg?v=1571611193 WILL YOU KEEP YOUR ARMS DOWN! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160920 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160920_LR_83e915ad-a104-4410-9760-627b0141f9f6.jpg?v=1571611193 That must be one nervous parrot! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160921 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160921_LR_aedaed52-5fc0-4fa9-beaa-5f60acd3b00a.jpg?v=1571611193 Too spicy? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160922 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160922_LR_6f366afe-04b3-46f3-84f6-9f8ca1f0285a.jpg?v=1571611193 I told her, the day I do the dishes is the day the sky falls in. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160923 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160923_LR_158d369d-1378-48b6-8caa-3df645568c55.jpg?v=1571611193 I’m going now. Your house is always drafty. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160924 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160924_LR_53f6a720-c525-4465-980a-39e290173353.jpg?v=1571611193 So you left school in 1937 and became a bank robber. What happened after that? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160926 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160926_LR_0557942f-38a1-4dba-a7e0-50b55a401fd7.jpg?v=1571611193 I know you’re a veterinarian. Regular doctors won’t touch him! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160927 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160927_LR_f4a9c271-d591-47aa-9a25-8bbf7a151c64.jpg?v=1571611193 Sorry about the two scars. We had your X-ray upside down for a while. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160928 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160928_LR_f2578bc9-d9e9-496e-b0e9-ee9bcd96676b.jpg?v=1571611193 Your account is $28 overdrawn. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160929 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160929_LR_6a211f39-f6f6-4de4-a7de-3f860b3313a9.jpg?v=1571611193 You better make sure I get it back Friday. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm160930 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM160930_LR_6e2a4ad2-7f04-428e-a0bf-8cdd6f28ad2c.jpg?v=1571611193 They’re all out, but I’ll tell them you called. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161001 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161001_LR_998d3970-d568-4297-9ee5-0ab2306a01a7.jpg?v=1571611193 If it doesn’t itch, don’t worry about it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161003 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161003_LR_72e770cf-dece-4d08-9ccb-4a1d29d3cebb.jpg?v=1571611193 I never enjoy a comedy with you laughing all the way through it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161004 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161004_LR_d82afa7b-b4e9-4fb9-bfa3-ebf415897f51.jpg?v=1571611193 Folks, the main reason you’re not getting a good picture is because you bought yourselves a microwave oven. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161005 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161005_LR_1aac95ba-3934-46a4-9948-8afceb0e3184.jpg?v=1571611193 I brought you here, Agnes, to ask you to marry me. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161006 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161006_LR_04fce6a9-b032-4c20-82d2-f8e821d5c1a2.jpg?v=1571611193 They got me for $28 tax last week. How did you make out? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161007 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161007_LR_a0be1837-8881-466f-8b0d-7cd27536c990.jpg?v=1571611193 He loves his mommy’s cooking. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161008 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161008_LR_a9cefe14-6a6d-40d8-b784-429536311d21.jpg?v=1571611193 You’ve been paroled. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161010 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161010_LR_0f15e253-6f10-41c2-8c30-5e266ac61d98.jpg?v=1571611193 Can’t you answer the front door bell while I’m cooking? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161011 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161011_LR_2b491a98-f453-4e42-94a7-3cd97b5b37f4.jpg?v=1571611193 Your mother left her teeth in our bathroom. They’re just starting to slow down! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161012 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161012_LR_9df94c8a-7ccd-4fb8-9e37-f0ae170a5c5e.jpg?v=1571611193 As it’s your first jump, we’ll see if we can find you a better parachute. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161013 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161013_LR_2303ce0b-8109-44a7-86e3-02db05c8407e.jpg?v=1571611193 Your father lost a dollar here in 1986. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161014 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161014_LR_05d2826d-40e2-4623-a4e2-306eb887a502.jpg?v=1571611193 She came straight out of ‘Jams and Jellies’ without signaling. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161015 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161015_LR_b7c75f61-113e-4e67-b5f7-fa46d4454549.jpg?v=1571611193 This one’s called ‘Here Comes the Sun.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161017 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161017_LR_15826b5a-5fdf-45f9-a75c-783e3978b341.jpg?v=1571611193 I told you not to keep asking me to dance. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161018 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161018_LR_7932a118-21d2-4b57-80b6-b1335fd89c75.jpg?v=1571611193 I’ll pay for them and we’ll call it your birthday present. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161019 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161019_LR_50ace339-497a-4fde-97f3-f56188bfabb2.jpg?v=1571611193 This ‘Bottled in 1835’ is written in ballpoint pen. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161020 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161020_LR_2eb5df89-1b79-471d-ab1e-f4e2e5272685.jpg?v=1571611193 He doesn’t have an account with us. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161021 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161021_LR_18772c5c-667f-4cc0-8862-302ee50fb41a.jpg?v=1571611194 I’m not worried. If I’m not smart enough to get a good job, I can always teach. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161022 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161022_LR_bceb75f3-7e72-4175-b725-6d76718acc2e.jpg?v=1571611194 You forgot to tip her. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161024 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161024_LR_43a4821f-6d25-48f3-aacd-79dcc2dca04a.jpg?v=1571611194 Feeling any better after a hot bath? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161025 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161025_LR_24e357d7-e0e5-4851-823c-4ced4746d770.jpg?v=1571611194 Where d’you keep the bubblegum? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161026 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161026_LR_8653869c-f427-4b8b-b124-69ec13efe3f9.jpg?v=1571611194 Hey, boss! This cute little fella wants to know why we’re three years behind with the car payment. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161027 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161027_LR_7f7911d1-9e1e-46cb-870f-1ee7010b05c3.jpg?v=1571611194 Don’t eat it if your gums are sore. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161028 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161028_LR_e664f93f-ea7e-4887-a4a6-f461a82ca29c.jpg?v=1571611194 I guess you were out back. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161029 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161029_LR_ef24fd3f-fa5c-4741-96ea-aebb04441d80.jpg?v=1571611194 It’s a real treat to talk to someone who doesn’t keep laughing. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161031 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161031_LR_ff583a18-b81c-4ab6-9938-818004c46130.jpg?v=1571611194 There’s nothing wrong with him. He just does that to make me look stupid. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161101 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161101_LR_38e3d642-0240-4cfb-bba0-269bcc596863.jpg?v=1571611194 I hope you’re not walking across my clean floor. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161102 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161102_LR_a87fb2ca-c2de-434b-ac36-76cbb6125b29.jpg?v=1571611194 Grandpa gave me his transistor radio. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161103 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161103_LR_80e9fab7-41c9-411b-8693-d10021a60aa4.jpg?v=1571611194 What would the ‘widow’s benefits’ be, say, six months from now? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161104 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161104_LR_814de820-2669-42b6-a549-f49184612cd9.jpg?v=1571611194 Repeat after me: ‘Hypnotherapy is worth $60 an hour.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161105 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161105_LR_c8a6a5cf-73c9-4dcb-a4d9-1c1d4c0251cc.jpg?v=1571611194 How much to throw this in the ocean? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161107 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161107_LR_b68f4dc1-1ce1-4c56-9f9a-88a7e8ce5ccb.jpg?v=1571611194 Mix me up another four quarts of this coffee. Think I’ll try it in my transmission. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161108 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161108_LR_f0e36778-9b6a-4220-bd66-cdc967534df7.jpg?v=1571611194 You won’t be able to paint the ceiling like that. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161109 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161109_LR_aed6c05b-1d28-48f3-8aaa-858d0a54ddb1.jpg?v=1571611194 How do you feel about me going to my sister’s for two weeks? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161110 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161110_LR_77d3fa6d-0abb-4c7d-be27-f3c17287a8f0.jpg?v=1571611194 Take that thing off or I’ll fine you for contempt. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161111 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161111_LR_f8d3fdb9-f186-45f1-ba0f-85b0927e8f01.jpg?v=1571611194 Thanks for doing my homework last night. Now the teacher thinks I’m retarded! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161112 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161112_LR_8942dfd2-7658-4e96-a2a1-d595fa56363e.jpg?v=1571611194 How many times have I told you not to run with the wedding cakes? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161114 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161114_LR_1af36e6e-29fe-41e2-b3af-6e00292c227c.jpg?v=1571611194 How many dishes does it do to the gallon? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161115 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161115_LR_f46b7220-d2a9-4e95-af21-f762ae4b9ae1.jpg?v=1571611194 Anyone know where I can find the gift shop? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161116 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161116_LR_db5e10f6-a60e-4ac4-9df6-6b666ebc6171.jpg?v=1571611194 I’ve gotta have identification. You must have some sort of pilot’s license? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161117 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161117_LR_c477192e-e2a9-4f0f-b155-8c3ba8e03961.jpg?v=1571611195 I told you this was a classy joint. I just hired a guy with a Ph. D. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161118 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161118_LR_2ab16a95-1c4f-4a95-988c-ad4da53f999e.jpg?v=1571611195 What are you here for? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161119 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161119_LR_1c70d3c7-1ad5-45fa-a7f9-d0d4f1ca7d2b.jpg?v=1571611195 At these prices, I’ve got about 20 seconds to recover and get out the main gate. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161121 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161121_LR_3182fe7f-7b89-4a0b-bd63-278fbca17b9a.jpg?v=1571611195 You do realize I’m going to have to report this, Thompson? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161122 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161122_LR_d84efde6-2dae-4109-954c-2b5c24b62de8.jpg?v=1571611195 Write your name and phone number in my little book and give yourself one and a half stars. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161123 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161123_LR_34a7c462-6efd-409e-891c-4585c6b2d73f.jpg?v=1571611195 He wants to borrow a million dollars to leave to his grandchildren. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161124 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161124_LR_e54a70a4-4a01-4507-bfdd-e09964c156f4.jpg?v=1571611195 Excuse me for being born. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161125 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161125_LR_b603ef47-71e1-4447-ad83-30772cdbf66b.jpg?v=1571611195 Okay, three coffees for him. What do you two want? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161126 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161126_LR_58b2b2ec-54cf-4e35-806f-f987e48f0c27.jpg?v=1571611195 I wish you wouldn’t keep sitting so close to my cactus. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161128 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161128_LR_d05ef3ff-b06d-459c-a223-965fa454054d.jpg?v=1571611195 I bet they’ll try to keep our $5 deposit! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161129 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161129_LR_03faec71-743b-4ad7-9bf5-aa4e9d4d70ec.jpg?v=1571611195 Your wife’s got a very bad case of sunburn on her tongue. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161130 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161130_LR_71dd845a-7265-412e-81c5-b48a10171ca8.jpg?v=1571611195 I get a real sharp pain when I do this. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161201 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161201_LR_0e9636d6-431d-47d7-ae4d-9cc47dee3267.jpg?v=1571611195 Any diet drinks? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161202 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161202_LR_5f4023bc-4754-405f-8faa-658f840eef80.jpg?v=1571611195 He’s lost his worm again. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161203 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161203_LR_8e8d67b5-5cdd-4303-ab25-2492c9b26329.jpg?v=1571611195 Great checkup! Have some candy. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161205 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161205_LR_c7d80533-60f9-4773-871a-57b4fdd2234c.jpg?v=1571611195 What happened to your face? They said you’d hurt your foot. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161206 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161206_LR_a7a61ad8-5917-43f2-b405-47fa29519f6c.jpg?v=1571611195 Golden hits of yesteryear… one dollar. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161207 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161207_LR_54a2bd40-f8da-4718-a3ef-22e286a577ea.jpg?v=1571611195 Take a look in here! Five bags of mail, two sets of encyclopedias and a new vacuum cleaner. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161208 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161208_LR_643e2229-b03d-4253-b4e6-8fba3f15ba6f.jpg?v=1571611195 I told you to get it dry cleaned. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161209 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161209_LR_d8e2b3d9-1160-43ec-9c77-56e99a84212d.jpg?v=1571611195 Happy birthday, boss. All the guys got together and bought you a new padlock for your wallet. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161210 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161210_LR_f0789209-6019-4d15-8bac-2d4bed741afe.jpg?v=1571611195 I’m 65 today! I guess I’m retired. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161212 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161212_LR_57a14d20-04a7-4a47-b7cc-d120bf27fb12.jpg?v=1571611195 The important thing now is that he wants to get out of lion taming. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161213 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161213_LR_cc4fe0f4-d004-41ae-b690-302805d940e8.jpg?v=1571611195 Oh, good! Is that my other knitting needle? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161214 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161214_LR_b0ec1da5-1bb6-421c-aa76-da9ed0180e46.jpg?v=1571611195 Is that chicken too well cooked for you? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161215 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161215_LR_a4053df4-2c84-4b5d-98f5-ab5ac9cdeb49.jpg?v=1571611195 He wants to buy an exercise bicycle with a motor on it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161216 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161216_LR_a542cfab-c15f-44e3-92a3-1a2c9d77a428.jpg?v=1571611195 Put those back! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161217 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161217_LR_31e02f79-5cc9-453a-a188-8be8a18e6e9b.jpg?v=1571611195 Where do you want the TV? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161219 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161219_LR_a454ad40-0539-48da-ad6b-e6d83e3af3f6.jpg?v=1571611195 Have you got a smoke alarm I can switch off while I’m cooking? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161220 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161220_LR_95a28d83-b7f6-41ef-a20e-8eb6bf7c8276.jpg?v=1571611195 I don’t care if it’s his birthday! I want him out. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161221 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161221_LR_8aa1d3b3-eea5-4d8e-9679-8bf9fd96ced5.jpg?v=1571611195 You’re a lot uglier than your pictures. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161222 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161222_LR_0d3d65a3-7bb9-40a0-9521-c82509db3b9a.jpg?v=1571611195 He put our clock radio in his sack! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161223 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161223_LR_39f70079-eb47-4d9e-af77-7a1feefb9513.jpg?v=1571611195 This your idea of a good old-fashioned Christmas — turkey pizza? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161224 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161224_LR_eb46a3ab-5aeb-4c09-9ccd-0e6157db66b1.jpg?v=1571611196 I just heard the TV switch off. Santa's on his way! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161226 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161226_LR_54e42dcf-1088-433f-82c3-e07936381932.jpg?v=1571611196 You did very well on our IQ test! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161227 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161227_LR_65693b70-c2db-49ae-8eb6-f03f164efa18.jpg?v=1571611196 I’m charging you a dollar for whatever it is you’ve got in your mouth. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161228 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161228_LR_e10cfa07-c53f-49c1-b125-6532398db663.jpg?v=1571611196 Take a seat. It’ll be about two days. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161229 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161229_LR_61c058ea-ff02-4b22-9759-eb53b71ec0d1.jpg?v=1571611196 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161230 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161230_LR_6351715c-8eae-4ee7-971b-9a5eb01b3dfd.jpg?v=1571611196 Columbus, will you sit down and stop asking all these dumb questions? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm161231 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM161231_LR_0bec99d8-ee3f-442d-8004-5b85ed282185.jpg?v=1571611196 I think he’s saying he wants a one-way ticket to Egypt. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170102 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170102_LR_70323bad-5ac4-48fe-af18-102ba44c8b99.jpg?v=1571611196 HARRY… HOW MUCH ARE THESE LAXATIVE PILLS? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170103 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170103_LR_74b929c0-a752-4a3d-bbe1-5b955a95858b.jpg?v=1571611196 I won’t have a table for 20 minutes. Here’s your soup. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170104 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170104_LR_0aee1bfa-cdf1-4c9d-9410-0f5ed382e678.jpg?v=1571611196 You can’t be putting on weight already! You only quit smoking 20 minutes ago. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170105 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170105_LR_c3970964-cba5-4556-bf06-d5bb5b9c458d.jpg?v=1571611196 Why are you such a messy eater? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170106 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170106_LR_607fa37b-4256-4e43-b056-a3080bbd0afa.jpg?v=1571611196 Dobson, I’ve just figured out a way for you to personally save this company $2,000 a month. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170107 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170107_LR_12c7a186-4ab6-4d8c-8da0-96e4b0b6800f.jpg?v=1571611196 Why didn’t you say you wanted them both the same size? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170109 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170109_LR_ec5b6e62-00cd-4fe4-928c-0b84a965ff2e.jpg?v=1571611196 Gimme the keys to your company car! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170110 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170110_LR_48c4388b-c937-44b2-bd59-b649a6ba0cbf.jpg?v=1571611196 First time I’ve seen gold-plated tools. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170111 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170111_LR_3a64a202-120b-4c11-b6de-629d59939f6a.jpg?v=1571611196 I can’t find my ticket. Give me a nice blue one. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170112 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170112_LR_e1224776-9ba7-465f-9f54-04e209999b94.jpg?v=1571611196 Would I be correct in assuming you don’t have experience as a plastic surgeon? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170113 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170113_LR_745420de-6ee9-47ad-bc0d-9bf257b1571e.jpg?v=1571611196 She just waxed the floor. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170114 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170114_LR_832fb15e-2d8f-4570-b15e-dffce35f391b.jpg?v=1571611196 Now whatever happens, hang on to those sandwiches! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170116 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170116_LR_a937be11-1377-4042-87b2-cc6a093b4370.jpg?v=1571611196 I’ve told you a thousand times to get a new mattress. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170117 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170117_LR_14d38b2c-21e4-4e8c-a2b4-68617b0b1f46.jpg?v=1571611196 I’d say you picked a bad time to fire your cook. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170118 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170118_LR_f67d0d69-f128-404f-a55d-fe7e0650bc36.jpg?v=1571611196 Are they playing overtime? You must be absolutely exhausted. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170119 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170119_LR_f57bbc0b-ae41-43dc-b5e0-41ca02e9ca0c.jpg?v=1571611196 Is this the guy who’s been charged with impersonating a police officer? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170120 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170120_LR_c1c29c87-c8ba-47f5-8e79-09d50620a555.jpg?v=1571611196 Is there a reverse switch on the drill? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170121 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170121_LR_5bbacbdc-4a32-4944-86dc-e746f7e51bb1.jpg?v=1571611196 I wish you’d wear a hat in there. I’ve been looking all over for you. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170123 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170123_LR_c4188ea3-1e55-438c-9a0e-b979e756f61f.jpg?v=1571611196 Your sister’s had another kid. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170124 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170124_LR_a8409d19-7ec0-4c04-bfb3-c2b0e1280ff0.jpg?v=1571611196 The management has gone on strike demanding we take a 10 percent pay cut. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170125 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170125_LR_13c5befc-30b7-4cab-ad91-168d8df30fe5.jpg?v=1571611196 You’ve got seven new fillings on the left side. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170126 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170126_LR_7fa02b7f-69fa-4110-8893-80352cd12296.jpg?v=1571611196 What have you been feeding that parrot? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170127 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170127_LR_3d702980-2c2d-4ef0-86fa-f78c5855c4c2.jpg?v=1571611196 Look at your best shirt. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170128 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170128_LR_e4683d2f-55b6-4c6b-a81d-5b7070826b39.jpg?v=1571611196 How’s he feeling? I badly need a pair of kidneys. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170130 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170130_LR_5482ce58-cfdb-48b8-be97-72d207d6f4f6.jpg?v=1571611197 Will you turn that fan down! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170131 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170131_LR_4d7a73f9-b1f0-49d3-9b4e-94ff9c2ad16a.jpg?v=1571611197 It’s the barman’s little joke. First drink’s on the house. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170201 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170201_LR_93f0d7b4-53aa-4974-b17b-637530614ab4.jpg?v=1571611197 Don’t tell me what it is until I’ve eaten it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170202 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170202_LR_9e2c00e1-0cdf-4f09-a6d1-00009766a494.jpg?v=1571611197 I had to shorten the pants quite a lot. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170203 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170203_LR_08d7f699-c09e-4e86-94ad-02f04529aef6.jpg?v=1571611197 It’s your own fault for forgetting to buy cat food. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170204 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170204_LR_82cd914b-8d16-4485-a105-520d9d8e0a2f.jpg?v=1571611197 If you have to sneeze, do it during the lunchbreak. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170206 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170206_LR_ad89c8af-6a25-470a-a43a-83df778a6840.jpg?v=1571611197 He changed his mind about paying the electricity bill. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170207 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170207_LR_e86f845c-ba53-4400-8b99-d45749afe7d4.jpg?v=1571611197 You left that back door open again. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170208 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170208_LR_4c10450d-2b1c-4038-91e5-2ab21a7035bb.jpg?v=1571611197 He can’t get used to your new hairpiece. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170209 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170209_LR_d5c2d9f7-60c8-4465-ba9a-0919b3fc5c15.jpg?v=1571611197 Did you mean be home by 10 o’clock tonight or 10 o’clock tomorrow morning? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170210 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170210_LR_ba1318ad-c606-48fa-9e63-b7b6446fa702.jpg?v=1571611197 Apart from your neck, how are you feeling generally? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170211 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170211_LR_0277bfca-ab57-47ec-b38b-e96b6df277fd.jpg?v=1571611197 200 miles to the gallon! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170213 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170213_LR_5f392a2d-c984-4967-8439-5dc6ccc0bd69.jpg?v=1571611197 It’s come to my attention that you own five cars and an ocean-going yacht. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170214 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170214_LR_930b4926-b0cf-48d2-ae49-b35b595d1567.jpg?v=1571611197 Sandra, bring me a paper towel. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170215 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170215_LR_11c6f5ba-1601-46fb-bad9-467f690510f2.jpg?v=1571611197 Forget about me meeting the willowy blonde! I just need the name of one horse. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170216 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170216_LR_ce25d859-8f71-4f7f-8a4e-c5997f8da1bd.jpg?v=1571611197 Don’t blame the cat. What would you do if someone sat on you? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170217 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170217_LR_a03d8bda-636c-4af8-9c22-f4acdf2c43ae.jpg?v=1571611197 According to this X-ray, it’s stuck in your leg. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170218 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170218_LR_a09a5cb6-49b2-4c61-a7c2-93c0b38b7731.jpg?v=1571611197 You here again? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170220 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170220_LR_ff0a4ec2-b2d9-4c89-a607-973fc01d922f.jpg?v=1571611197 It’s still raining. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170221 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170221_LR_9c1ae0cf-a9b8-4bd1-981a-3ab02757377c.jpg?v=1571611197 Just trim the sides and the back. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170222 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170222_LR_d95ec588-5218-4595-a873-60fb9bcea3a7.jpg?v=1571611197 He’s glued his feet again. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170223 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170223_LR_cc3a2d40-4dad-411e-88ff-47e196ed1d65.jpg?v=1571611197 What do you mean, ‘Where’s the car?’ This is the car. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170224 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170224_LR_d7e56d55-d96b-4854-800d-ae0ec2ee6f3d.jpg?v=1571611197 A guy tipped me 20 bucks once! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170225 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170225_LR_c4f75bd9-c279-4f45-a9e6-0ecb2c19335e.jpg?v=1571611197 What have you done to your hair? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170227 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170227_LR_88926579-9a07-411c-b36b-e467231b6a10.jpg?v=1571611197 What are all these doing in the trunk of the car? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170228 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170228_LR_3b4d252e-74f3-4f32-bba9-e752099c8224.jpg?v=1571611197 Was the subway faster than taking the car? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170301 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170301_LR_70d35685-55f0-491b-b298-98291e75bc48.jpg?v=1571611197 Watch this! It’ll go in two bites. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170302 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170302_LR_4daabb1f-94d7-4707-a0fa-4726eb1822b6.jpg?v=1571611197 Dr. Burns says you need two more appointments. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170303 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170303_LR_90c79c24-0337-480e-9144-e4747c5cb05e.jpg?v=1571611198 We’ve been after that one for 15 years. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170304 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170304_LR_b81cb12d-74b4-4a9c-b2a4-ecb379379858.jpg?v=1571611198 This is my first cruise. What’s the bell ringing for? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170306 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170306_LR_44f50f4c-8ccb-4d5f-b4a3-6cba6c5257f9.jpg?v=1571611198 Here’s a guy who puts his mouth where his money is. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170307 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170307_LR_c7f14b80-2ed7-4370-bd2d-7fb9d8deb6cc.jpg?v=1571611198 You must be crazy, driving 800 miles in one day. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170308 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170308_LR_8e666b7a-c639-485f-9699-cde2f8e5eb4a.jpg?v=1571611198 I just bought this package of batteries and it says, ‘Batteries not included.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170309 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170309_LR_78e8d93f-d348-411d-a4b8-7043923f0a5c.jpg?v=1571611198 He gets uncomfortable meeting strangers. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170310 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170310_LR_b6a80b31-a050-4801-9388-db83a649d72e.jpg?v=1571611198 Your green pills are all gone. Do you wanna take a blue and a yellow? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170311 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170311_LR_c7a1bdc1-9d02-4337-9171-ebb4999b14c3.jpg?v=1571611198 Is he allowed a plea of insanity for a parking ticket? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170313 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170313_LR_6178cf1e-ce5b-4558-94e8-1bb7ba97b34b.jpg?v=1571611198 If he can’t talk how do you know his name is Ralph? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170314 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170314_LR_47cc8fc8-37ad-4630-8ea6-908894b08dcb.jpg?v=1571611198 The basement’s full of soapy water. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170315 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170315_LR_e27720ae-3a8c-4cef-91b6-88e567c83f57.jpg?v=1571611198 The Japanese restaurant is next door. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170316 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170316_LR_a481065d-0072-4f79-86d9-e30a2caf250e.jpg?v=1571611198 Hey! Do you wanna see a UFO? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170317 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170317_LR_f4e958c1-7025-49c7-ac16-2f36135d9ebc.jpg?v=1571611198 One day you’ll realize that the people most capable of running the country are too smart to get into politics. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170318 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170318_LR_9927dacb-67b7-46f1-b9de-17e9fa482a5c.jpg?v=1571611198 My ball went in the hole! What shall I do now? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170320 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170320_LR_8733eebd-fd7f-4cd6-9c07-51cc596e1527.jpg?v=1571611198 I’d tell your father, but he probably lent you the hat. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170321 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170321_LR_da31b829-8ca9-4a85-a751-c3818662c59c.jpg?v=1571611198 The police towed away the car, so I bought another one. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170322 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170322_LR_4c63971f-bf40-4d5e-8f05-1e3abe06eaa7.jpg?v=1571611198 So it looks like a nice day tomorrow. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170323 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170323_LR_a16ef075-17aa-42df-84c1-5514fba43899.jpg?v=1571611198 Nature is a great compensator. You’re probably a super mountain climber. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170324 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170324_LR_e21fbfec-655e-4ab4-b2a4-9b133b0c30d3.jpg?v=1571611198 How many times have I told you not to snap your fingers while I’m extracting teeth under hypnosis? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170325 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170325_LR_dacd7126-9d74-48fe-b8df-0508a65103a1.jpg?v=1571611198 No, don’t switch it on; just explain the advantages over other insect repellents. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170327 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170327_LR_3f2934dc-ac55-4593-a624-b672433f1d66.jpg?v=1571611198 We’ve got the same grandchildren! Are you my first husband Harold? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170328 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170328_LR_eae8ba4d-e21b-4a82-8e02-89afe1ac2f3a.jpg?v=1571611198 You should never try to fix an electric shaver. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170329 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170329_LR_f9319ce2-dfe0-42cd-9df1-cabf3640de4a.jpg?v=1571611198 It’s hardly sex discrimination just because I can’t picture you as a topless waitress. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170330 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170330_LR_9df14a7b-1ac6-4181-a99f-232bcb04a064.jpg?v=1571611198 Look at this birth certificate — it’s parchment. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170331 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170331_LR_99502929-bd06-42cd-b71e-8cb3ac104d87.jpg?v=1571611198 I can’t understand it! He just burst in and shot my violin. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170401 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170401_LR_b5535166-a7f7-4028-ba5f-5dc36a6b72fc.jpg?v=1571611198 Drop it! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170403 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170403_LR_a083a610-e096-4940-bd6d-2483a1b3bf3d.jpg?v=1571611198 Sorry, I thought you were someone else. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170404 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170404_LR_9b9da749-4a74-4af2-8a98-2eab5d7faacd.jpg?v=1571611198 Did you mean for it to go in the lake? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170405 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170405_LR_e5896ac7-d151-48b3-838f-a45f674704ed.jpg?v=1571611198 What does the Guinness Book of Records say about dishing out long sentences? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170406 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170406_LR_e81b0a5e-869e-40de-a57e-4d60ec90c231.jpg?v=1571611198 You’d better quit eating fish for a while. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170407 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170407_LR_7d674cc7-0de8-4c6e-9c0d-fcef7470a771.jpg?v=1571611198 He’s not walking backwards; you’ve got the leash on the wrong end! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170408 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170408_LR_941ac29c-739b-4479-bca6-067dc2d19103.jpg?v=1571611198 How much do I owe you so far? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170410 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170410_LR_9fdad446-4bdc-48d1-83f8-1801919293d2.jpg?v=1571611199 If you miss a payment, I press this button and the unit self-destructs. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170411 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170411_LR_2518ec93-8495-48b4-a87a-6bee77b7f84a.jpg?v=1571611199 Make sure this one doesn’t leave before he pays his bill. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170412 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170412_LR_4ebc7cb2-a524-47f1-9030-a3769f98bc29.jpg?v=1571611199 Take my advice: Get yourself a good strong woman and don’t worry about looks! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170413 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170413_LR_4bcc5ef7-b46b-4948-9b77-901ce3f5d4e6.jpg?v=1571611199 From your X-ray, I’d say you eat too fast. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170414 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170414_LR_180c2482-aaba-4615-a831-edb5a52dc094.jpg?v=1571611199 I’m sorry! I guess I didn’t see the sign. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170415 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170415_LR_42621df0-6783-473f-bc61-ffc25456b93e.jpg?v=1571611199 Mr. and Mrs. Roberts to see you, Doctor. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170417 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170417_LR_95d195a9-f82f-4fbc-a49a-2f2f1aa6cbb4.jpg?v=1571611199 There’s an elephant on TV and she’s throwing peanuts at it! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170418 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170418_LR_59eab08e-f4f8-466e-8b38-73883dceb269.jpg?v=1571611199 If I find out you’re faking, there’ll be no ‘yummies’ for a week. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170419 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170419_LR_a9a39ca7-ca7e-46e8-9be2-ecb897b72fe7.jpg?v=1571611199 Got a room with a balcony? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170420 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170420_LR_15b438dd-46f5-49e6-b352-e9a8a6dc9367.jpg?v=1571611199 They say behind every successful man there’s a woman. Here’s a picture of my wife. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170421 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170421_LR_85230ab7-5503-4f93-b985-4d37f49a9bcd.jpg?v=1571611199 He’s here now! Seal off the building. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170422 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170422_LR_e7218a3c-7ea5-41da-afe3-8008947c39ce.jpg?v=1571611199 Take your time. The plane doesn’t leave for 3 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170424 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170424_LR_2b282617-451d-49fd-ac1e-4245be3f1044.jpg?v=1571611199 Don’t stand too close; you’ll make them homesick! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170425 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170425_LR_66521d03-c88c-4bc8-866e-b3da9bdb3092.jpg?v=1571611199 Eat up! There’s no sense getting a load of dishes dirty. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170426 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170426_LR_b89e0516-df01-45e7-9f8f-a21d53adbea6.jpg?v=1571611199 It wasn’t three somersaults. It was two and a half! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170427 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170427_LR_ae48beb6-72d0-46f6-8a90-c335fc280b66.jpg?v=1571611199 I know the runny green stuff is potato. What’s the black gravel? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170428 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170428_LR_aefa3e6f-69c1-4a0c-9edf-ef9b9ff5802a.jpg?v=1571611199 I’m not sure but you may have the wrong one. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170429 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170429_LR_fac21f97-a4ba-4802-a0ca-ffad0297d729.jpg?v=1571611199 How are you gonna get to work when it’s not windy? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170501 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170501_LR_e08b3c04-b656-46f6-95f8-b02fdfd6930f.jpg?v=1571611199 Is this too skimpy for the beach? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170502 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170502_LR_e141624d-4a76-4514-a9ea-59e2ab40fce7.jpg?v=1571611199 You’re taking a chance, wearing that dress in this neighborhood. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170503 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170503_LR_8bd9c7f8-0ff3-4e83-a02d-b077790d3339.jpg?v=1571611199 This the guy who was stung by a bee? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170504 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170504_LR_bb47ec89-fd7a-4f59-9fc2-cc7696b215d4.jpg?v=1571611199 Got any discarded clothing? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170505 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170505_LR_f7ff3d86-23c5-46e6-97c6-d2858418d765.jpg?v=1571611199 I think you’re jumping to conclusions. A lot of people love carrots. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170506 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170506_LR_11da7b91-9ed7-4ae0-8506-30b57781405b.jpg?v=1571611199 If it’s convenient, sir, I’ll be on strike from 2 till 4 p.m. for a pay raise. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170508 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170508_LR_858cfa0d-23ce-4d17-a627-21a91ffd5101.jpg?v=1571611199 Is it the meatloaf again? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170509 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170509_LR_597c9df2-2d64-4293-8a55-6318137d865f.jpg?v=1571611199 There are two bedrooms on this floor. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170510 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170510_LR_beebc93c-c405-4fe9-add6-c44d7f696bcd.jpg?v=1571611199 Did you tell him ‘Babylon’ was a race horse who liked to run on the outside? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170511 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170511_LR_3973c450-187a-41f8-8fcb-2f453f41dc86.jpg?v=1571611199 Oh boy! A whole dollar. I hope it doesn’t spoil me. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170512 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170512_LR_a87378e5-cc36-4f0e-8295-57d4b55d9dde.jpg?v=1571611199 Wake up. The cat’s got your teeth. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170513 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170513_LR_c4036117-4ce8-4aa4-8e5b-d82a8d4da581.jpg?v=1571611200 You’re supposed to rub it on your head, not drink it! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170515 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170515_LR_6f704cf1-825a-4045-9d67-66efea0a67be.jpg?v=1571611200 In some parts of the world, whole villages could live on your food intake. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170516 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170516_LR_5109d011-31f7-427a-9c15-8443665b843f.jpg?v=1571611200 Get down. I’m knitting this stuff for the girl next door. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170517 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170517_LR_ce014cc6-bb6a-4320-ae6e-ba58e9d5e993.jpg?v=1571611200 Don’t ask questions. Just see if my umbrella’s under the sink. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170518 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170518_LR_aa738918-cb26-4c62-b230-6da9bbbdb153.jpg?v=1571611200 Say ‘cheese.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170519 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170519_LR_bcb88653-ad43-42eb-8619-442ead33857d.jpg?v=1571611200 Don’t you ever rinse my shirts when you wash them? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170520 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170520_LR_f5ba750b-d77d-4c76-8888-b79b08cc5ea7.jpg?v=1571611200 Don’t be a grouch. He’s been waiting all day for you to smoke that. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170522 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170522_LR_3f6ebca8-4c38-407c-a207-2fdbceee98a1.jpg?v=1571611200 Now snore. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170523 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170523_LR_a4e106e2-4d89-4edd-94b7-1b50ea7b9a69.jpg?v=1571611200 They won’t come near me since I gave them some of my wife’s homemade cake. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170524 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170524_LR_f41eb232-40e0-4f7e-baf0-362a313890f7.jpg?v=1571611200 Left home without your money, did you? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170525 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170525_LR_b041efa9-ef0e-4a14-ab15-21afce25a456.jpg?v=1571611200 You say you were hunting a bear when it jammed? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170526 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170526_LR_f968f7e3-4087-4656-9421-a9dedf1dcd77.jpg?v=1571611200 The computer is demanding a complete service overhaul every six months and two weeks off in August. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170527 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170527_LR_1bfe424b-ac34-470e-9e6e-230322e7e34d.jpg?v=1571611200 Look at the bottle of perfume he bought me for my birthday! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170529 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170529_LR_d72de4c5-517a-44a7-8754-f85c7057dc96.jpg?v=1571611200 It says: ‘Due to rising costs, all wishes are now two dollars.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170530 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170530_LR_0e5b542f-1f11-4468-9ebb-3bbc1f7aedc0.jpg?v=1571611200 Here’s your pizza! We ran out of boxes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170531 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170531_LR_f8ab6a76-4e7e-4daf-a4d9-1a8331f2e8ca.jpg?v=1571611200 She couldn’t change a $20 bill. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170601 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170601_LR_09b6854b-ca71-454d-9857-dc1c7a464f2b.jpg?v=1571611200 Your best bet is reincarnation. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170602 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170602_LR_3fa4bb14-855d-48a3-a4ae-cff57163b250.jpg?v=1571611200 Feeling better? I made you a spaghetti sandwich. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170603 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170603_LR_f5bb324b-e66c-4f45-b165-b2d3dafbdc04.jpg?v=1571611200 I gotta get new glasses! I thought that was a big duck. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170605 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170605_LR_f5f37a43-714e-4493-9612-1893177a25c3.jpg?v=1571611200 I really appreciate the visit, Ralph, but you’re sitting on my broken leg. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170606 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170606_LR_f853e6ab-a700-447d-b0f5-17d54130ea94.jpg?v=1571611200 I still say we should tunnel. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170607 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170607_LR_c05138e1-f39d-4be3-a995-242ec6eee06c.jpg?v=1571611200 Congratulations, Mrs. Parker. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170608 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170608_LR_fb182f09-4ef0-466f-a7aa-f72cf47ed584.jpg?v=1571611200 Boy, that takes me back! I haven’t seen a suit like that for 30 years. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170609 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170609_LR_eb95a6bb-b831-440c-94f3-cd314a4dc9bb.jpg?v=1571611200 I always knew there was something different about you, Charlie. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170610 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170610_LR_ea1c7b35-3505-42c3-ab9f-c5a6715981b6.jpg?v=1571611200 I think we’ll stay away from the jumbo burger! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170612 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170612_LR_938b3c55-6f1c-4016-9517-b308d184a498.jpg?v=1571611200 I wouldn’t pay $4 admission to look at you! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170613 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170613_LR_8bb8bf4b-0a43-473f-b4ac-7461331406b1.jpg?v=1571611200 I never have any luck with living things. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170614 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170614_LR_46f11281-0ade-459c-a829-d43cf859093f.jpg?v=1571611201 Hey, Bill. Bill! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170615 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170615_LR_c8ebcf77-6a25-48f7-b40d-0c8cb7f6894e.jpg?v=1571611201 Don’t you people ever feed these animals? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170616 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170616_LR_29c86428-2e65-447b-bd2d-3dadee8d11c6.jpg?v=1571611201 Got any spare fuses? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170617 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170617_LR_0b68e785-040c-40d5-86e9-4ec3a08faa3e.jpg?v=1571611201 Read it yourself! It says, ‘Dozen eggs, bread, milk, chocolate chip cookies.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170619 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170619_LR_50c3aaf9-241d-4e8b-945a-cde544827c93.jpg?v=1571611201 Charlie, can you fix four flat tires? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170620 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170620_LR_8c7bdd62-9615-44df-8cdd-c9eab248fd09.jpg?v=1571611201 I don’t think you’re supposed to eat the little umbrella. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170621 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170621_LR_ce311fb7-8b2c-45b2-85f2-3b33cae93440.jpg?v=1571611201 I know you; your wife put you up to this! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170622 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170622_LR_3f51bb21-a526-43d1-9288-a2929d979674.jpg?v=1571611201 First you buy me a new coat and now a trip to Lion Safari Park. What’s got into you lately? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170623 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170623_LR_8e6a11ec-c30c-4396-ab79-97181fbe174e.jpg?v=1571611201 I know you wanted a package of fish sticks! This is all they had. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170624 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170624_LR_b7d4c8c7-fe5a-4d9a-a36f-0a23edcaa4a7.jpg?v=1571611201 I don’t know what it was, but it sure could run. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170626 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170626_LR_79c5ef4c-88fa-4164-b2f9-34b3a1883197.jpg?v=1571611201 D’you want a wake-up call, sir? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170627 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170627_LR_a2e9b4af-c6ec-4d4c-b7fe-d261d79133f1.jpg?v=1571611201 Have you seen a pair of brown gloves? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170628 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170628_LR_5cfa5ac8-ea12-456c-aca3-e9f8a4f2d1fc.jpg?v=1571611201 Must you watch television when my sister’s here? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170629 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170629_LR_e3f0fc02-75c0-4b65-bf04-417056150fab.jpg?v=1571611201 We had a tough time getting that stain out. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170630 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170630_LR_48d6ba62-4298-49fb-85f4-d0698b1f524a.jpg?v=1571611201 What do you think? Do I look better in the wider horns? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170701 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170701_LR_72b71307-0c2f-40a6-8d1d-c8f4ff66ef82.jpg?v=1571611201 Twenty bucks a week on makeup, and he’s the best you can come up with? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170703 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170703_LR_ed020ced-6d8c-4bd3-9a5e-72878e0fbe04.jpg?v=1571611201 I thought I told you to take your jacket off. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170704 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170704_LR_94ae48e8-87bb-4eaf-992c-5245ff4a76af.jpg?v=1571611201 It’s not mashed potatoes. The french fries fell on the floor. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170705 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170705_LR_94e24567-0e7a-41db-9e3f-5f15b0c61bb7.jpg?v=1571611201 This one’s called, ‘Bowl of Fruit on Very High Table.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170706 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170706_LR_a3488c02-de56-412a-876d-a21e56732eea.jpg?v=1571611201 What are you hiding behind your back? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170707 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170707_LR_ee6a24f6-c1c0-42b8-b936-d2eb6fec10ad.jpg?v=1571611201 That’s 10 rings. Shall we try for 11? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170708 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170708_LR_684807ed-c105-443c-9f75-a9fc420fa74a.jpg?v=1571611201 Just imagine yourself gliding down the sidewalk. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170710 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170710_LR_28be9a6f-3d27-49a1-9c50-4febbcb07ac2.jpg?v=1571611201 You can’t be ‘half-and-half.’ You’re either ‘guilty’ or ‘not guilty.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170711 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170711_LR_84469d5f-09a5-455e-8601-4306b01bf202.jpg?v=1571611201 You left your wallet at the fish shop! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170712 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170712_LR_9b04b42f-9f50-4110-9c0c-252e202497dd.jpg?v=1571611201 D’you mind showing me what you have in this pocket? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170713 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170713_LR_869ef41e-e65c-420b-b848-23aaec4c65a5.jpg?v=1571611201 What are you, a wise guy? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170714 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170714_LR_49672563-07e7-420a-8efb-cdf26ecb66ae.jpg?v=1571611201 That guy gave us three ice cream cones for Dad’s camera. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170715 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170715_LR_7d4cc95a-e328-448a-87fb-e96c6469d0ad.jpg?v=1571611201 My mother mustn’t know! I told her you’d run off with your secretary. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170717 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170717_LR_d0f7bd45-430d-47e2-8144-a1216869f9f2.jpg?v=1571611201 What do you do in your spare time? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170718 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170718_LR_a79d3224-63a8-45bc-a485-a0c046347529.jpg?v=1571611202 It’s my new invention. Talk to your mother for an hour on this and it will heat the whole house for a month! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170719 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170719_LR_5a405bd1-75ed-47cb-ae72-1d650982aec6.jpg?v=1571611202 Every time you press that buzzer, just remember that I’m the one who’ll be taking out your stitches. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170720 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170720_LR_37ebda58-73bc-40d9-a816-965441f843d4.jpg?v=1571611202 I’m NOT going to the dentist. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170721 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170721_LR_b5c9fe7f-bed1-4b98-b33f-8cc6210d07a7.jpg?v=1571611202 CUCKOO. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170722 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170722_LR_785eadd9-d632-4aab-b3ec-732814ce21ba.jpg?v=1571611202 I hear you have a room to rent. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170724 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170724_LR_69b523cc-b3f2-4288-9611-b97fd04f5379.jpg?v=1571611202 We forgot the food! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170725 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170725_LR_4d0748b3-9437-4622-b95f-ce1c24ff49ed.jpg?v=1571611202 Where have you been? You’re last! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170726 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170726_LR_da1316e1-5bc9-4429-bc8c-4d8e0f38568e.jpg?v=1571611202 I don’t know what you’re eating, but you gave the dog a can of spaghetti sauce! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170727 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170727_LR_85567a6a-6104-4d38-8fe0-8f1905e320f7.jpg?v=1571611202 What did you do to Dad’s chair? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170728 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170728_LR_cf445408-1182-4b7a-8977-695998c85ede.jpg?v=1571611202 I see you bought a new dog. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170729 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170729_LR_54160243-952c-4b04-958a-db80b722da3e.jpg?v=1571611202 It’s not my fault we’re short of beds. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170731 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170731_LR_460eb749-2c21-42f9-9913-4a7e4ac4d26b.jpg?v=1571611202 Have you seen my pantyhose anywhere? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170801 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170801_LR_e9a9a4ef-55db-4b34-b59e-2d4f0d0f197b.jpg?v=1571611202 I told you I wanted an iPad for my birthday! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170802 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170802_LR_e1a397a1-88ae-495b-8056-ac1006f25053.jpg?v=1571611202 What would you give someone who’s giving you a bowling ball? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170803 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170803_LR_8c55e54e-d2f0-47dd-a9de-c7da4c993cb1.jpg?v=1571611202 Why do you always wear one sock in bed? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170804 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170804_LR_c6799395-e5fb-4083-9f94-21f2256ebba5.jpg?v=1571611202 He’ll never find the cigars, will he, Dad? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170805 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170805_LR_b6a62b39-17d0-4925-be3d-9cab5d6c666d.jpg?v=1571611202 Don’t tell me I’m getting HIM. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170807 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170807_LR_dffd927c-bc3a-4316-8a2b-9ac26ff31020.jpg?v=1571611202 PUT THAT BACK. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170808 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170808_LR_b7602b2c-eeda-4a32-94a4-d27b019868d7.jpg?v=1571611202 The kitchen’s on fire again. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170809 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170809_LR_a93ceb33-adb1-4750-abbc-37d3f9a53751.jpg?v=1571611202 You’re not supposed to THROW it! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170810 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170810_LR_8413056b-361f-43db-bae2-529431499acd.jpg?v=1571611202 Can you identify the man who punched you in the knee? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170811 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170811_LR_b84f927b-fbf3-4790-86a7-11ea6f5e698c.jpg?v=1571611202 Harry, quick, get over here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170812 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170812_LR_0739a76e-bc34-404e-919e-ab0b84aed2e2.jpg?v=1571611202 At least she’s trying to communicate. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170814 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170814_LR_904fe78a-19fa-4e5a-a1da-2aeaa58cec8a.jpg?v=1571611202 This shouldn’t take too long! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170815 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170815_LR_4d59ded7-5de7-4670-93a9-24c6674fc5e4.jpg?v=1571611202 By the time we get in there, all the monkeys will be worn out! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170816 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170816_LR_65d474f8-be85-4e85-911d-7e70b1a3cd40.jpg?v=1571611202 I’ll give you my car and stereo if we call it off. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170817 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170817_LR_55297e95-7ca7-44c8-baea-c712a39b726f.jpg?v=1571611202 I don’t know why I bother cooking for you! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170818 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170818_LR_b7a5e7b3-4a1a-49bb-bf1a-7852bb2dbbfe.jpg?v=1571611202 I’ve only got 5 cents. I’ll have one big bite of this. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170819 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170819_LR_a8742d05-0dae-458d-9d24-23465c42c516.jpg?v=1571611202 Keep it up! He’s getting overconfident. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170821 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170821_LR_0478a282-cd54-49eb-9f35-4b01be8e9919.jpg?v=1571611203 Got change for a quarter so I can leave this guy a tip? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170822 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170822_LR_77f08a03-87a4-4751-a3fe-8eb06e6d160d.jpg?v=1571611203 Can you change $400 worth of quarters? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170823 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170823_LR_7980ebae-38c5-42e8-b61f-15ec83565a36.jpg?v=1571611203 Come down here. You’ve ruined my plant. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170824 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170824_LR_78b97afe-fd4e-4450-9379-362de0f28ec6.jpg?v=1571611203 It’s on sale this week for $15,000. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170825 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170825_LR_24b080ac-007b-4c2a-9a7a-2ddcee891e16.jpg?v=1571611203 Which finger is it? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170826 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170826_LR_b78423ce-2fa9-4990-bd43-9aa784d57c0a.jpg?v=1571611203 This book you sold me, ‘There’s One Born Every Minute’ is just blank pages! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170828 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170828_LR_7ab05bf0-4ab3-42f3-8c93-623404db9306.jpg?v=1571611203 Sorry about your eye. Did you see where the ball went? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170829 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170829_LR_bdf54d56-4bb7-4757-8a83-58b5f4bced18.jpg?v=1571611203 You see, son, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170830 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170830_LR_f9eb4099-48d5-45cc-890e-908792144075.jpg?v=1571611203 Nurse, run outside and get his shoe. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170831 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170831_LR_d5858ead-4a96-4050-8b15-1762b1f93524.jpg?v=1571611203 That’s our pen! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170901 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170901_LR_e6ca77c0-a628-4774-8e10-d944257206db.jpg?v=1571611203 He watched a heart transplant on TV three days ago, and he’s still recovering. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170902 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170902_LR_7ef1daff-fe3b-4410-85d1-b0d2dbae2fb4.jpg?v=1571611203 Keep your eyes open. Two prisoners are missing! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170904 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170904_LR_e3f5dfba-ba4c-4a57-b068-7fd4f50b0f7b.jpg?v=1571611203 Twelve glasses of milk and cookies. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170905 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170905_LR_0dd4dc6f-66be-45de-89d4-3739ede917bb.jpg?v=1571611203 He will! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170906 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170906_LR_ee70382c-3093-4d47-b6ef-7770c8973e4c.jpg?v=1571611203 Your boss said you can have your job back when you get out if you tell him where the $50,000 is. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170907 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170907_LR_21aea1a0-23e6-4f2b-a9cc-f891388d860f.jpg?v=1571611203 D’you want the movie, or shall we watch the news and have a good laugh? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170908 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170908_LR_0c77bfb1-630c-477d-8270-027d91476f10.jpg?v=1571611203 BIGFOOT! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170909 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170909_LR_54769b57-afb1-4d1c-94ce-cc0a3bdcd893.jpg?v=1571611203 The rabbits are eating all his carrots. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170911 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170911_LR_cde9e560-9c37-4d0a-b9e0-89da5c538abb.jpg?v=1571611203 A bee won’t sting you if you leave it alone. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170912 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170912_LR_ea60ca7b-39ac-4d2a-9d13-fe6d6f62f42f.jpg?v=1571611203 Gotcha! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170913 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170913_LR_4337c725-0a82-4689-b7ab-59a1ec9d0a0e.jpg?v=1571611203 I had to give your sausages a shot with the fire extinguisher. Do you still want to eat them? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170914 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170914_LR_a2a713b6-728a-4378-8eac-bb83927da99e.jpg?v=1571611203 The soup of the day is gone. How about the soup of tomorrow? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170915 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170915_LR_f4c271f9-3545-4911-a3ac-d70f3da1c409.jpg?v=1571611203 What do I have to do to get some service around here? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170916 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170916_LR_d27c1963-8e17-4a7f-8636-eded4b6dbe64.jpg?v=1571611203 I would also like to thank my tropical fish for being there when I needed them. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170918 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170918_LR_132a89eb-6923-4b75-9ad6-8529079c1d10.jpg?v=1571611203 I’ve been looking for that! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170919 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170919_LR_17a26c46-c5a2-4575-b601-e1d75f321c7d.jpg?v=1571611203 Relax, I’ve got to test your stomach muscles. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170920 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170920_LR_e6b9fa67-5d2f-4ae1-bc6a-191896816a62.jpg?v=1571611203 Grandpa, I can’t remember which one is yours. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170921 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170921_LR_25fc2903-fada-4bbb-b0e1-629fca22ac13.jpg?v=1571611203 Throw them farther! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170922 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170922_LR_beaefde6-34e1-4878-99c3-c631f200b225.jpg?v=1571611203 I know how you feel! I missed a 2-inch putt once. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170923 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170923_LR_7ee55b41-ee70-475d-983b-356f0436b3cf.jpg?v=1571611203 I can't remember if we locked the door. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170925 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170925_LR_d3baf24f-eed4-42d0-a9d8-d3b688ec3f0f.jpg?v=1571611203 I’m not keen on this big sponge. All the bathwater’s gone! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170926 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170926_LR_8b477954-aa5e-495c-8f80-0402e27c51ef.jpg?v=1571611203 Your birthday’s next week. D’you want a surprise party? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170927 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170927_LR_c2776bb9-3bea-4ef5-8246-e374ddd5cd59.jpg?v=1571611204 I guessed you weren’t from around here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170928 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170928_LR_4ae6ce3d-3c65-4037-9173-4330b41cc208.jpg?v=1571611204 It’s my ex-boyfriend. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170929 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170929_LR_90e7dfa1-21a5-40ad-9e26-e2272b331236.jpg?v=1571611204 Have you decided? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm170930 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM170930_LR_b97db7ec-3e62-4230-9ddf-077ede27ba20.jpg?v=1571611204 Do you think I should let my hair grow longer? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171002 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171002_LR_4d9f6bcf-d6e6-489b-9060-e398db43748b.jpg?v=1571611204 Snarl. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171003 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171003_LR_9114dee5-fc5e-477e-a808-72784a777dad.jpg?v=1571611204 Blackie! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171004 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171004_LR_ee832fa2-48b4-4599-9e76-e995e14f4e4d.jpg?v=1571611204 I want a book on speed-reading and 85 novels. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171005 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171005_LR_53c33383-7422-4a55-9e7c-529814d6885b.jpg?v=1571611204 Buzz off! You’re not getting any. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171006 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171006_LR_7a5eaf0b-1ee4-4b3a-a9a0-0ae3985e05c9.jpg?v=1571611204 I think he’s gonna make it. Let’s go! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171007 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171007_LR_20da2f04-802a-41e8-b800-c4b28cf5ddd7.jpg?v=1571611204 He’ll be OK for an hour. Let’s go to lunch. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171009 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171009_LR_ad4727a3-209e-44a2-8c84-a8b806799a01.jpg?v=1571611204 Don’t let them see the frying pan! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171010 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171010_LR_814c5b9a-6585-4acd-a902-6b66b2ce6b48.jpg?v=1571611204 Your shoes are marking the rug! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171011 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171011_LR_7196cbbd-5640-4bf2-9b88-2970ca876720.jpg?v=1571611204 I just moved in next door. Where do you keep your lawn mower? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171012 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171012_LR_f3fa2544-4267-47d5-8a3f-6c3bfdc6c0fa.jpg?v=1571611204 He’ll be back soon. He’s gone for a cherry split. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171013 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171013_LR_39179ef0-ff1e-4baf-9ce2-1436207a5150.jpg?v=1571611204 I’d better go now, Snookums. I’m with a patient. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171014 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171014_LR_a7097ea0-0659-4979-b0ad-38995440b06b.jpg?v=1571611204 We don’t usually accept first-grade students until they’re five years old. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171016 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171016_LR_138fd958-85d6-4b63-9c0e-39c423087d10.jpg?v=1571611204 I climbed it because it was here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171017 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171017_LR_a2cbb2b5-2eb8-4d1d-a675-b04580544972.jpg?v=1571611204 Can you send a tow truck? I’m about 300 yards inside the Lion Safari Park. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171018 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171018_LR_c38b15e7-564f-4c24-8417-f88aa9e30944.jpg?v=1571611204 D’you want smokers or non-smokers? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171020 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171020_LR_23ef4c25-08c9-4691-b706-20d62cb3d7a5.jpg?v=1571611204 My mistake. I’m supposed to rub it on your chest. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171021 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171021_LR_d11ca194-41c7-4c25-9925-e75f458fad17.jpg?v=1571611204 What’s my new sewing machine doing in the middle of the card table? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171023 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171023_LR_393ced65-c969-4380-8066-d8f61a6a3de8.jpg?v=1571611204 Even I can paint better than that! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171024 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171024_LR_ae7b6d8a-3f96-410b-b2d8-b9909f2f4ac3.jpg?v=1571611204 Have you seen the latest electric model? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171025 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171025_LR_b86cac60-9157-4d90-ae0a-384545c7fa32.jpg?v=1571611204 I’d say it’s your gall bladder, but if you insist on a second opinion, I’ll say kidneys. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171026 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171026_LR_0091414a-840c-4171-b741-042b87a9cab1.jpg?v=1571611204 Do you want the book of instructions? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171027 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171027_LR_3a1a4e11-c889-48c5-b777-6141384538f0.jpg?v=1571611205 You won’t be losing a daughter. We’re going to live here! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171028 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171028_LR_3860dd9d-c7db-4654-92b1-ab56f1443ce9.jpg?v=1571611205 What’s disaster of the day’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171030 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171030_LR_b7f74a5f-438f-4ad9-b657-f038b5d78e96.jpg?v=1571611205 SIT! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171031 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171031_LR_ad6bb8be-1833-4c00-becf-c6efd55d388f.jpg?v=1571611205 They ALWAYS go on the warpath when we’re eating! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171101 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171101_LR_d22ef501-829b-4f4e-b192-0d7d945bcf35.jpg?v=1571611205 Have you given any thought to my pay raise? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171102 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171102_LR_f87c46bb-831c-424f-8203-f810a257755f.jpg?v=1571611205 He never said that! I saw your lips move. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171103 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171103_LR_a57a95b9-989b-4463-985b-42accf9d33b0.jpg?v=1571611205 Are they the new shoes you bought for $10? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171104 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171104_LR_9a200424-9034-4e3f-af77-022ff10fcc10.jpg?v=1571611205 Is that the dress you wore on our honeymoon? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171106 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171106_LR_e3b3b76a-e527-4324-9733-c7fe6c01cb2e.jpg?v=1571611205 D’you want a dessert or coffee? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171107 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171107_LR_722219f9-0423-4367-bbef-c50d6612b027.jpg?v=1571611205 We ran out of wineglasses. You’ll have to sit closer together. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171108 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171108_LR_50a7882b-c87c-4b43-ac3d-dbf1fa2df5e4.jpg?v=1571611205 I want you to take a half-hour walk, every day, 10 minutes before lunch. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171109 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171109_LR_5cc2e8d4-8891-4d67-805d-2eabcc654e47.jpg?v=1571611205 I came in third! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171110 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171110_LR_b4df4afb-9fd4-4969-abde-180b60313c87.jpg?v=1571611205 Wanna buy a toothbrush? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171111 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171111_LR_535a6ed5-ebc5-4fa3-9e11-5fb37c80b704.jpg?v=1571611205 Dad, do I get my allowance or not? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171113 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171113_LR_89432880-ad75-49a4-be13-e8fb37cf1210.jpg?v=1571611205 I told you it was a dog movie! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171114 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171114_LR_065e77c4-2069-4bea-bd80-49c71bf8c4da.jpg?v=1571611205 You told me on the phone that you were a six-footer! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171115 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171115_LR_f8af91e9-1983-456a-8b75-b80d474228a5.jpg?v=1571611205 My bus leaves in two minutes and I intend to be on it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171116 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171116_LR_f55ffad3-4c50-4154-a80b-a1e2b8a21a8b.jpg?v=1571611205 Which one of you is General Smith? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171117 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171117_LR_1e895d81-6100-4dc3-8019-524e2070bcef.jpg?v=1571611205 Can we have our horseshoe back? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171118 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171118_LR_0df267d0-f3ea-4d28-a70d-4bb77dbc6e24.jpg?v=1571611205 It was a great party, Ralph. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171120 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171120_LR_319df642-95a6-48bb-9387-2c93a58cb7be.jpg?v=1571611205 What exactly is a genetic engineer? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171121 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171121_LR_36324d16-93f5-435d-b3fb-af23b4a30b7f.jpg?v=1571611205 Got any books with nice, big, color pictures in them, suitable for framing? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171122 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171122_LR_785d0505-cb88-48b2-a72e-797a7dc5dfb1.jpg?v=1571611205 We haven’t seen a duck for two hours! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171123 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171123_LR_ea65a503-8912-4716-a980-855b6105ceeb.jpg?v=1571611205 How come you don't go fishing anymore? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171124 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171124_LR_b7ebb160-a1b6-41d0-ba92-a8f308e6fbc0.jpg?v=1571611205 I think we’ll get out of here before the cowboy movie starts. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171125 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171125_LR_3461cdd2-d484-47a9-885c-4bd6a44d17a0.jpg?v=1571611205 Have a good vacation, Wilson? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171127 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171127_LR_03ae6b8e-a600-4da5-900e-1830f6bb9388.jpg?v=1571611205 Maybe we should park somewhere else. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171128 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171128_LR_246e9c94-518e-45cc-b26e-f31f7877dcac.jpg?v=1571611205 I was lucky I hit the pin! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171129 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171129_LR_f7f73567-7bb5-491d-bbe1-6a50da24afd2.jpg?v=1571611205 I don’t know what this is, but it’s new and improved, so it must be good! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171130 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171130_LR_93ed71ab-181c-4b3f-8072-dc1f7d56215c.jpg?v=1571611206 I can’t stand the sight of blood. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171201 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171201_LR_3a1ad653-b74a-4f7d-ab61-344cb34c440f.jpg?v=1571611206 We’ll take a brief pause for this important commercial message. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171202 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171202_LR_b4287104-d3d7-40cb-b8af-0b3bf63246e2.jpg?v=1571611206 I taped the cat breathing. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171204 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171204_LR_8d3662f6-34b3-415b-9515-be4c898bdd21.jpg?v=1571611206 Do you mind keeping the noise down! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171205 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171205_LR_d970c3f4-d732-4200-8cab-95b337e50e94.jpg?v=1571611206 I don’t care if we have been married fifteen years, I’m not buying any brushes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171206 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171206_LR_81b1193f-1024-41e0-acd2-9a14b6c532bd.jpg?v=1571611206 It’s stopped! But I think it’ll start up again. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171207 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171207_LR_6f3e0642-fc4d-448f-8cca-2434e60ba779.jpg?v=1571611206 Now what? There’s nothing else to invent. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171208 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171208_LR_5f2f9974-16cb-43ee-8c23-bddf17277c18.jpg?v=1571611206 Maybe we should have checked the neighborhood more closely before moving in! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171209 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171209_LR_d642ced0-88c9-4cc9-9755-cda15a5f2739.jpg?v=1571611206 I’ve got some matches somewhere. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171211 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171211_LR_20c60792-4a84-4bdd-ad14-2052f82de2b6.jpg?v=1571611206 Mr. Soames here is the best teacher we have. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171212 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171212_LR_55e473cf-5e10-401b-9590-8bd60ad97f2f.jpg?v=1571611206 Don’t forget, Buster. If it wasn’t for me and Frankie you’d be paying a lot more income tax. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171213 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171213_LR_e9e73569-1a33-4d05-aaa0-cd42a74c2385.jpg?v=1571611206 Is the lady coming back, sir? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171214 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171214_LR_dee5a60b-6fe7-4063-925e-f9876c9c7c62.jpg?v=1571611206 You’ve been practicing for an hour and you’ve only hit it once. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171215 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171215_LR_d3db1bca-3af2-4c3a-bcb8-c406bc462ad0.jpg?v=1571611206 You here again, Carole?! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171216 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171216_LR_14908fa9-07a5-4972-b3f9-b9a45929916b.jpg?v=1571611206 Listen, I'll take anything except clothes and shoes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171218 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171218_LR_d7b3422d-37d6-46c4-a5e5-a66542eaf4b8.jpg?v=1571611206 You must have got it wet! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171219 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171219_LR_f73ebf92-a269-4250-9f40-0c7434226794.jpg?v=1571611206 If you want to see something ‘real cheap’, take a look in this mirror. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171220 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171220_LR_5b027424-df52-49ba-9a45-8aeb6eb569ff.jpg?v=1571611206 What do you mean, the lesson’s over? I’ve got another 20 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171221 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171221_LR_ad464e46-0ad7-48f1-a945-3b487651568a.jpg?v=1571611206 Never shout at your plumber. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171222 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171222_LR_2f2732f4-bfb2-4110-b2d2-596d1de445fe.jpg?v=1571611206 I’m really proud of you! This time tomorrow, you’ll have been on your diet a whole week. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171223 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171223_LR_af047dd9-d3f0-415a-a66e-1b66ddfa2efb.jpg?v=1571611206 The top came off. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171225 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171225_LR_29d50ab7-2853-4dfe-a941-7f570e820e66.jpg?v=1571611206 It must be pretty good wine for $20 a bottle. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171226 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171226_LR_57e505d1-e3a9-4105-b409-557e25cc73ca.jpg?v=1571611206 You can put your left down now. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171227 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171227_LR_ed42360f-f298-4c93-87f5-d348f728d7ca.jpg?v=1571611206 Dad put glue in her denture cleaner. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171228 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171228_LR_36bfbfd4-7b8a-402e-afa6-72f669bdbe53.jpg?v=1571611206 I love doing that! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171229 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171229_LR_de604182-3fda-4fd7-a338-ed5c6f857869.jpg?v=1571611206 That was lucky! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm171230 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM171230_LR_636d4ae1-2059-45c6-a0e2-ce1e129fc8a5.jpg?v=1571611206 One of these hot dogs fell on the floor. You’ll have to toss a coin. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180101 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180101_LR_c9a49b82-af95-4958-a609-72363d71e2d3.jpg?v=1571611206 I’ve completely lost track. Is it one million B.C. or one million B.C.? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180102 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180102_LR_7541716e-a002-4454-aea5-4ac519d93fe9.jpg?v=1571611207 Maybe I’d better get going soon. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180103 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180103_LR_389b2ec9-edc6-487f-91b0-f1bbdc423574.jpg?v=1571611207 Have you been waiting long? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180104 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180104_LR_8a7341a2-c3c1-4edf-be49-5ddcbb5bbf8d.jpg?v=1571611207 I think I prefer the blue. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180105 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180105_LR_8626a1ff-45d5-4e40-a478-d5b7e005bdd2.jpg?v=1571611207 You the guy with the hedge trimmer for sale? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180106 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180106_LR_ab605cb3-6f33-45eb-8590-d79f8de67707.jpg?v=1571611207 Tell Sandra, lover-boy is here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180108 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180108_LR_99b10266-3bda-49fb-ac65-db76ee5e9cbc.jpg?v=1571611207 I don’t know whether to try to weed the lawn or tell everyone it’s a vegetable garden. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180109 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180109_LR_f4bb70cf-b3c0-43b0-ac31-41c4b4f5ce44.jpg?v=1571611207 I don’t think all that natural food is doing you any good! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180110 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180110_LR_3761e575-6bee-4272-bbfb-b83d1a803efe.jpg?v=1571611207 The car wash never gets it clean. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180111 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180111_LR_cc72441a-5695-4d14-8f57-c10b511b6e63.jpg?v=1571611207 You need a haircut. It’s touching your shoulders. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180112 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180112_LR_41ee1e70-8e73-4654-a36f-de0e44809d49.jpg?v=1571611207 Dad’s gonna change the baby. I hope he gets a dog! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180113 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180113_LR_6a39302b-c5a5-4ab6-a15d-58691f4d3edf.jpg?v=1571611207 Can’t you keep still? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180115 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180115_LR_4a5ee6f1-0809-4c68-a6af-d62a73ea9379.jpg?v=1571611207 Keep an eye on that one. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180116 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180116_LR_c87d901c-972a-49f0-a670-52959fa89e39.jpg?v=1571611207 Don’t be a spoilsport! Guess who it is. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180117 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180117_LR_a6889095-3786-4795-8d10-069dc9d08789.jpg?v=1571611207 Six boxes of cookies for you, and no arguments. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180118 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180118_LR_59ea71d3-97a5-4899-aaa8-4f33cb747ff3.jpg?v=1571611207 What’s the big idea telling my wife you’re getting a new dishwasher? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180119 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180119_LR_2070ffda-1cae-418c-90d6-14b454c4af37.jpg?v=1571611207 Excuse me. The machine is making a funny noise and the little light is going in a straight line. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180120 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180120_LR_c9157bba-dc81-4b7b-ad3a-46eee1315b17.jpg?v=1571611207 Here’s your watch, Johnson. You’re retiring early.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180122 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180122_LR_779dd084-db77-40e5-aada-1e3b9243a018.jpg?v=1571611207 I thought you were gonna clean up this kitchen. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180123 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180123_LR.jpg?v=1571611207 I need as much fire insurance as I can get by next Friday night. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180124 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180124_LR_213862a1-2c42-46a0-aa76-3cc64a69522e.jpg?v=1571611207 That’s what it says: ‘One tablespoonful, 300 times a day.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180125 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180125_LR_ebae2715-a8f1-4d1d-8262-456d59db64a6.jpg?v=1571611207 That guy who’s filling in for you at the office is a real worker. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180126 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180126_LR_6f97032c-b8c6-4644-a14c-22bb3802a24b.jpg?v=1571611207 You’ll have to wait for your soup. I can’t do everything! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180127 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180127_LR_e527d6b6-7c4a-47d1-b7bb-ecae26c7d44c.jpg?v=1571611207 This won’t take long, will it? The first race starts in 20 minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180129 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180129_LR_5ef4d486-8695-4fb2-a620-8486fdb4fa49.jpg?v=1571611207 I’ve studied your case and I think your best bet is a tunnel! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180130 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180130_LR_7a49bfa6-1f47-4462-bdf9-fc116d724f2e.jpg?v=1571611207 I see you giving me a $20 tip! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180131 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180131_LR_f7ae02db-4586-4e25-8286-92542507daa4.jpg?v=1571611207 You’d better let the cat in before he wakes up the street. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180201 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180201_LR_efd0bf54-9b76-4317-bb92-ea2fac2ff595.jpg?v=1571611207 Going anywhere near the tropics? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180202 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180202_LR_9dbf0ecb-3489-4b2f-8f23-9a36e1e860b8.jpg?v=1571611207 What’s my whisk doing in here? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180203 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180203_LR_aeb9ee80-9c61-4530-8da6-fb9eca3d5c38.jpg?v=1571611208 He’s chewed through the TV cord again! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180205 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180205_LR_759981e2-3fd7-46d1-ad97-c9fa827fc525.jpg?v=1571611208 How far can I send this cat for 30 dollars? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180206 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180206_LR_07a42401-7e8b-4c02-ad2a-b79001b49dab.jpg?v=1571611208 I gave your sandwich to the wrong customer. Do you still want it? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180207 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180207_LR_4398af32-2df1-4642-93a8-7abd0acfc8ae.jpg?v=1571611208 Just a minute, I can’t find my keys. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180208 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180208_LR_6061e10d-4689-4d1c-ad6f-a7442f62e8e0.jpg?v=1571611208 I hope you haven’t got gravy all over your shoes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180209 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180209_LR_87b4a2c0-caef-432e-b84c-82bb2aac7ba3.jpg?v=1571611208 Good luck. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180210 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180210_LR_ed3bcbf4-61ab-4f30-a8ac-feac474f120a.jpg?v=1571611208 We’ve got 60 guests and only three pieces of cake! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180212 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180212_LR_439d4377-02cc-4f46-88e8-76424ef26a30.jpg?v=1571611208 You can’t expect me to learn the job in five minutes, can you? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180213 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180213_LR_582ccc3e-f8f3-4731-8d21-3df08cb7531b.jpg?v=1571611208 I never did like dogs. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180214 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180214_LR_a89e32bb-970d-4351-96f8-2c3cf0db846c.jpg?v=1571611208 NO CAPTION https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180215 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180215_LR_439619bf-f75d-45be-8aeb-cbbd992aeda9.jpg?v=1571611208 He’s half parrot and half homing pigeon. I’ve sold him ten times! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180216 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180216_LR_0a230662-7946-4c18-bde1-6863467ab743.jpg?v=1571611208 Take two of these with meals but no more than 30 a day. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180217 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180217_LR_33e53d34-4973-449d-8be1-d72b87ee8b0f.jpg?v=1571611208 See what happens when you find them not guilty? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180219 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180219_LR_e08ede74-ea7a-47ec-89e4-d1a63cbc1823.jpg?v=1571611208 What do you want for your birthday, a battery-tester or a set of screwdrivers? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180220 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180220_LR_f7ccbb88-953a-4246-9008-b24aeca273ba.jpg?v=1571611208 You heard me! Take your hat off. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180221 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180221_LR_c0b57e31-d6fa-4b0f-9c1a-4dd71f4e922a.jpg?v=1571611208 I’ll cook you a nice meal during the next commercial. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180222 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180222_LR_c39a7805-4caf-4270-95f4-59d8f0531244.jpg?v=1571611208 There are more than eight cornflakes in there! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180223 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180223_LR_2293ef62-7553-4a4d-a731-8d2c867c63c3.jpg?v=1571611208 Strange how all six of your previous employers left the ‘C’ out of the word ‘excellent.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180224 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180224_LR_ac65d01b-867a-4e05-84f8-52fa18b0b9f8.jpg?v=1571611208 Dear Diary, the old skinflint forgot my allowance again. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180226 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180226_LR_0db2ea8c-7136-4263-b41e-22ee84373ebe.jpg?v=1571611208 Keep it to yourself, but I’ve finished spending that $5 you gave me for Christmas. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180227 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180227_LR_1982f1e7-4129-4208-9c01-370197808894.jpg?v=1571611208 It must have been that time your brother brought his portable over! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180228 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180228_LR_9d4d5b07-6578-4295-8438-9db8da78bb66.jpg?v=1571611208 Harry, the Earth isn’t the third planet from the sun, is it? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180301 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180301_LR_1aaabec4-2a22-4778-8627-f5c2f0f70b24.jpg?v=1571611208 Can we get some service around here? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180302 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180302_LR_6efaa9d0-3987-4a80-9983-ae7464ca50bd.jpg?v=1571611208 I told you that was HIS chair! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180303 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180303_LR_5c5d03cf-bda1-4748-9d05-4898a468a23f.jpg?v=1571611208 This is one I did on my trip to Australia. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180305 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180305_LR_61720d4c-6181-48f3-9380-444be2f78b4e.jpg?v=1571611208 You seem to have the qualifications we’re looking for in a bookkeeper. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180306 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180306_LR_82fcbfd4-9f24-4267-b2c4-ab7bd17ac1cb.jpg?v=1571611208 If you don’t want to be my caddy, there are plenty of other people who do! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180307 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180307_LR_803e7761-b315-4f20-8e82-350fddaf7ca0.jpg?v=1571611208 D’you think we really need a kitchen? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180308 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180308_LR_6646ba7d-0e60-49af-9426-fbb5da45010e.jpg?v=1571611209 How d’you expect me to plead ‘guilty’ or ‘not guilty’ when I haven’t heard the evidence? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180309 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180309_LR_18d17489-0382-4656-9bb1-e4d5ebcd27a3.jpg?v=1571611209 Can I borrow that magazine you were reading in bed last night? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180310 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180310_LR_3cb2765e-67c5-4bf1-a9b8-fb84ea3500a3.jpg?v=1571611209 Did you fix my sewing machine? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180312 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180312_LR_48817cc3-4ca2-4bcf-acfc-44ebbf25df21.jpg?v=1571611209 Now don’t mention coming in here when we get home. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180313 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180313_LR_a2087621-5019-4374-a5b8-f7c34564d7e0.jpg?v=1571611209 Where’s that dumb cat? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180314 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180314_LR_886f6675-b341-4486-b687-efa72e91ad22.jpg?v=1571611209 This new night fragrance is called ‘Surrender.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180315 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180315_LR_1cd356c1-717d-4735-837a-d382000ac08f.jpg?v=1571611209 Oh dear! Look where I left poor old dad’s guitar. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180316 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180316_LR_97a865f4-87e2-4702-b445-ae508ce95931.jpg?v=1571611209 Can I pay you Friday? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180317 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180317_LR_929101a7-258f-497e-94f1-16ed1519c59a.jpg?v=1571611209 Let me know if you ever need a good defense lawyer. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180319 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180319_LR_5c2df458-4c93-43eb-85f8-5853575a5a0a.jpg?v=1571611209 It’s genuine crocodile. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180320 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180320_LR_6c4a95a5-3524-49a9-ac17-9efc7e2f1b71.jpg?v=1571611209 Can the guy downstairs borrow some milk? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180321 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180321_LR_14bec6d1-8ba5-4585-b82b-7129fb429907.jpg?v=1571611209 Shall I back up? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180322 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180322_LR_aab555bd-d7a6-4cc0-ab0a-a12ef3a5dd6a.jpg?v=1571611209 He must have heard a noise downstairs! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180323 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180323_LR_6a765aef-1680-4ef3-b043-a3e4ef637c10.jpg?v=1571611209 Oh no! I’ve broken my nail. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180324 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180324_LR_b7d7b90b-ab54-49ea-af2c-eddef1253004.jpg?v=1571611209 Are you ‘open’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180326 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180326_LR_559997c5-46ea-4585-8c9d-173356c71cf6.jpg?v=1571611209 Let’s hope we never have to use it! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180327 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180327_LR_7db64273-8c7c-48f0-9fe4-3898974e0422.jpg?v=1571611209 Is hernia contagious? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180328 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180328_LR_f1f050cd-2eb0-4959-b20d-c437b0fabd25.jpg?v=1571611209 Stay there, I got the wrong one. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180329 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180329_LR_0b8bf32b-9f3f-410f-9fb4-31e1ac0821db.jpg?v=1571611209 Nurse, call an ambulance. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180330 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180330_LR_2ee71ef0-fc14-4338-93e6-5ea04d0feaa2.jpg?v=1571611209 You look a lot better! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180331 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180331_LR_d5c2a7ba-058f-4ecb-ac35-d3f061b30097.jpg?v=1571611209 As it was a false alarm, I’ll just give you one quick squirt. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180402 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180402_LR_37024f5d-0317-44a4-8651-215d93879df4.jpg?v=1571611209 If he’s your brother, sir, I’m sure I would have remembered him. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180403 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180403_LR_6cfd8089-d103-483d-b5f5-b5d57a227741.jpg?v=1571611209 Did you tell the dog he couldn’t go out tonight? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180404 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180404_LR_3f8ce777-cf5f-4cdf-8f3e-576066abf59d.jpg?v=1571611209 This one turns men into putty! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180405 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180405_LR_4cc2f7da-3f36-454e-a71e-64c9727b7c12.jpg?v=1571611209 What’s the matter with you? I’m looking for my checkbook! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180406 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180406_LR_cf598e4d-051a-47f5-aa5b-855ab543e92f.jpg?v=1571611209 I’m still not getting any hot water! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180407 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180407_LR_1fd50f0b-a5c8-41c7-b6be-95d439b81119.jpg?v=1571611209 I’d let you talk more, but you’re not as interesting as me. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180409 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180409_LR_3bae1cf2-e5bc-4e99-8f73-2cc031942206.jpg?v=1571611209 Be fair! He did ask you twice to take it off. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180410 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180410_LR_96736c2f-a4fe-438e-bc57-143bf307c1cb.jpg?v=1571611209 Back to the drawing board, smarty-pants! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180411 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180411_LR_1138b7f7-eb64-4cc3-9b85-82eef850f780.jpg?v=1571611209 My husband kept telling me to drive faster, Officer. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180412 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180412_LR_4d2d4c26-6068-4379-bc81-fe94545a2613.jpg?v=1571611209 Stop him! He’s got your dinner. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180413 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180413_LR_82fff2a4-c98b-43b4-b149-eca042949192.jpg?v=1571611210 This isn’t the bank! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180414 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180414_LR_d3bb3f6a-65a4-428c-a643-91a84b9624f1.jpg?v=1571611210 The sink was clogged! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180416 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180416_LR_3a1bcb34-fe03-4955-9fcf-cd1d172f3945.jpg?v=1571611210 We’re having trouble finding twelve ex-embezzlers for the jury. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180417 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180417_LR_b8af0d71-3304-480d-b1db-3a02196f2aae.jpg?v=1571611210 The old brakes failed! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180418 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180418_LR_2c481d69-5471-4422-9e72-657f964ce9b9.jpg?v=1571611210 I told you on the phone we’d be taking my new boat out. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180419 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180419_LR_3dd42f2b-fef4-4680-adbd-a78ec9d133b8.jpg?v=1571611210 I’ve got to ask the boss for a raise tomorrow. How does this look? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180420 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180420_LR_f5d3df04-f066-46b3-b265-7649c9f65793.jpg?v=1571611210 If you want the inside cleaned, just leave your windows down. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180421 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180421_LR_9845d911-6c38-4f72-9cb9-cd62c9cc32f5.jpg?v=1571611210 Whoever she is, tell your wife she has all my sympathy. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180423 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180423_LR_f22c9e80-250e-49be-b30b-b5b56e2e2c5e.jpg?v=1571611210 Members of the jury, I must ask you to disregard my last remark. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180424 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180424_LR_a344cbca-1fa0-4924-b1c2-b8035db2179b.jpg?v=1571611210 Have the hamburger on the house. You’re the first customer who ever came back! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180425 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180425_LR_1a15ac90-ddcb-4f18-b84c-178b4cb9c1f2.jpg?v=1571611210 When I told him it would be nice to have my breakfast in bed once in a while, he told me to sleep in the kitchen. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180426 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180426_LR_8d163edd-675a-4137-9063-5f214f943dfe.jpg?v=1571611210 Don’t try to tell me my job! That’s number 37! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180427 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180427_LR_1469a1ac-135c-4ea2-bb71-37ef65265b5c.jpg?v=1571611210 You’ll have to come back later. They’re not biting! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180428 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180428_LR_8bbe65f1-2259-4c0a-8413-9c7d6429a51b.jpg?v=1571611210 I can’t figure it. These carrot plants are getting smaller! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180430 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180430_LR_e03866e2-df4f-4700-a281-ae0abde12a80.jpg?v=1571611210 Are you sure your kid didn’t mind giving up his room? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180501 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180501_LR_be225365-d8eb-4167-9217-d54a9c9fd22e.jpg?v=1571611210 Not a lot of clues, Chief! We found one footprint. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180502 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180502_LR_492d4ead-2449-4d9b-b3e2-960e37978773.jpg?v=1571611210 Soup or juice? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180503 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180503_LR_c2d892ab-f937-4224-b79e-4f99653bc57f.jpg?v=1571611210 Buttercup recognized your car coming and ran off. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180504 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180504_LR_e681369f-9f7d-4b32-a067-5b9c3fa1ff99.jpg?v=1571611210 I keep the door locked. I can’t understand how they all got in there! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180505 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180505_LR_e086f314-36d9-46b0-9fbe-ebc1e443e968.jpg?v=1571611210 I can never understand your doctor’s handwriting. What are your symptoms? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180507 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180507_LR_912e2e0c-0315-488a-9a6f-5ca7b0dae2da.jpg?v=1571611210 Been waiting long? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180508 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180508_LR_d520f703-0eee-42c5-a595-bbc8b2e1a233.jpg?v=1571611210 I don’t suppose you remembered to put up my picture! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180509 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180509_LR_65d4e643-2f01-44b0-8ea6-db621cf1b3c7.jpg?v=1571611210 His wife never lets him watch this show! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180510 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180510_LR_4d7f15b9-50b3-4983-96c3-bcbfda477489.jpg?v=1571611210 Don’t talk to me during visiting hours. My wife thinks I’m in a coma. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180511 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180511_LR_bee1c476-5a44-4125-a2ae-108d8bcef60e.jpg?v=1571611210 Where d’you think you’re going? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180512 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180512_LR_d542e120-69a2-4a15-a67e-deda749d40b4.jpg?v=1571611210 Can’t you work faster? My arms are killing me. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180514 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180514_LR_4166b4ff-0e6d-4a45-8773-f294701c5714.jpg?v=1571611210 According to my figures, I’m 357 and you’re 358. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180515 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180515_LR_796afb27-11f8-4d58-b988-f5cb195a460f.jpg?v=1571611210 Come on! You must admit he’s ‘pushy’ for six months old. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180516 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180516_LR_541d7116-9751-418c-a890-445b19b484c8.jpg?v=1571611210 Watch daddy. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180517 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180517_LR_5e2efe37-da3e-4b9e-9fe9-5552299c74c7.jpg?v=1571611210 No sense buying a good set ’til I know if I can play. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180518 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180518_LR_eada5af9-3d31-43e3-b322-00056832d8a4.jpg?v=1571611210 What shall we call it: ox-tail, vegetable or soup-of-the-day? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180519 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180519_LR_5815bef4-9b06-4787-8896-a5198bde580c.jpg?v=1571611211 Be honest! He looks rough for 56 years old. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180521 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180521_LR_880e2de8-3d5c-4271-80f3-f125afea019d.jpg?v=1571611211 The groom’s late? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180522 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180522_LR_d400eb72-4f00-4782-8b65-95471b2b9f70.jpg?v=1571611211 I said I was sorry! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180523 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180523_LR_ecfa62ff-1cd9-4bca-88dc-611a13416058.jpg?v=1571611211 We could have flipped through your family album and saved six bucks. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180524 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180524_LR_8a8a0460-9492-485b-bc9b-52d09b416b2f.jpg?v=1571611211 Call for an ambulance. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180525 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180525_LR_980c3008-e573-44f4-be45-8ff25d1daae3.jpg?v=1571611211 He’s having a tough time finding someone who hasn’t mugged him! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180526 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180526_LR_a7244366-e102-4b25-9b8d-8ee1e24a0639.jpg?v=1571611211 I’ve mailed this twice and it keeps coming back. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180528 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180528_LR_f4f6688c-ef85-4d0b-9382-99f861e4d6fe.jpg?v=1571611211 This is the best security device we have. Put a pair of these just inside the front door. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180529 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180529_LR_eb9a2084-c573-46e8-9a6c-144092c1590a.jpg?v=1571611211 Nurse, let me know when a bell-ringer gets here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180530 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180530_LR_de03ca78-edd1-4f00-9065-97b7736d4d02.jpg?v=1571611211 I don’t think ‘no fixed address’ is a good idea on a loan application. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180531 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180531_LR_d43cc1fb-4088-42e6-b837-cdf839e4a3f6.jpg?v=1571611211 He wants this book on witchcraft. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180601 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180601_LR_bfc1220f-465c-4af9-8705-b2d9415f16f0.jpg?v=1571611211 We specifically requested a room with a balcony! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180602 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180602_LR_0dd5339a-41fe-42e0-9f88-84f79cc0a997.jpg?v=1571611211 He gets uncomfortable with strangers. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180604 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180604_LR_d659b40c-7913-458a-a422-57ec7b1c90b2.jpg?v=1571611211 Anyone around? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180605 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180605_LR_ecbcb3dc-5aa6-46ad-b46e-62f7728089f9.jpg?v=1571611211 You’ve put on weight since you quit smoking! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180606 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180606_LR_5b96e043-3053-428b-8d4b-199121def015.jpg?v=1571611211 I said, hamburger with fries. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180607 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180607_LR_43e299ad-db38-4519-a043-0241fa8c4a32.jpg?v=1571611211 I’ll give you something to ease the pain. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180608 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180608_LR_d46768b2-f646-43c0-a539-5b250ed429f2.jpg?v=1571611211 Do you feel well enough to cook? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180609 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180609_LR_4e2c91b3-7588-4c6d-90d6-68369f9faf87.jpg?v=1571611211 Got any books for about a dollar on financial planning? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180611 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180611_LR_ddac6066-3727-42f8-9082-d9556805b4ff.jpg?v=1571611211 These are expensive, but they’re guaranteed up to 140 words per minute. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180612 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180612_LR_ead8c30a-ec77-4c58-956e-5102873bb8df.jpg?v=1571611211 I’m not worried about her eloping! I’m worried about my new ladder taking the weight. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180613 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180613_LR_6872bf2a-86bf-44df-94a6-f70d8f939a07.jpg?v=1571611211 I’ve got a fantastic new joke, but it’s going to cost you extra. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180614 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180614_LR_e97ff3a1-cceb-4a60-8572-9bfe15a06c57.jpg?v=1571611211 I don’t like the pin placement. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180615 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180615_LR_a9a8b416-a4f5-41da-b2fc-70662057b735.jpg?v=1571611211 We’ll do a series of x-rays starting with your wallet. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180616 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180616_LR_5eb72f43-ac07-4537-960b-cee9db10f228.jpg?v=1571611211 Can’t you give me the speeding ticket later? I’m really in a big hurry. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180618 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180618_LR_d7abfba1-0427-44e4-bb3f-c82169791109.jpg?v=1571611211 He’s stopped playing. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180619 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180619_LR_dd4d6e77-1caa-4346-9f00-3e14b89a25c8.jpg?v=1571611211 Oh darling! Your very first patient. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180620 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180620_LR_cb956ae8-b5f5-48a2-b13a-8080f1bc7dcb.jpg?v=1571611211 Any requests? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180621 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180621_LR_f814a324-0b3c-4369-a5a2-ba9f8e9330c4.jpg?v=1571611212 Sweetheart, this will be your father-in-law. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180622 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180622_LR_d17b668a-b3f4-435e-bef8-5e8ce6522137.jpg?v=1571611212 This stew is ruined. You said you’d be home last year! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180623 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180623_LR_e9169934-507d-467b-a55b-8d1a8c8dc1be.jpg?v=1571611212 Whaddya want for lunch? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180625 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180625_LR_cc17f2a2-5866-4d87-837b-2489944bf821.jpg?v=1571611212 Okay, okay, don’t worry about it! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180626 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180626_LR_35823226-8386-4ac2-afbe-39f842c80c5b.jpg?v=1571611212 Dad, if you don’t feel any better, d’you want me to try acupuncture? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180627 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180627_LR_00716f92-4d4f-4610-863d-e996a0deaadb.jpg?v=1571611212 I made you enough sandwiches to last you for a whole year. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180628 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180628_LR_a710542d-54e1-408a-bfdc-bd12087805d4.jpg?v=1571611212 With my luck lately, I’d say your chances are about 50-50. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180629 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180629_LR_16760a5c-4396-4a5c-a4c7-d901f2f81c11.jpg?v=1571611212 If you’ve got any money, grab yourself a chair. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180630 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180630_LR_c2f9a8ad-4f42-4206-98a6-1facede4bc6c.jpg?v=1571611212 The recipe says a pinch of spice. I thought it said a ‘pound’. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180702 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180702_LR_38c19da2-2869-4118-a326-fe489d8fbb5d.jpg?v=1571611212 Dad, I need 200 ‘big-ones.’ No questions asked. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180703 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180703_LR_bf3c559a-f97e-462d-9d17-43ea6ec5ee2f.jpg?v=1571611212 Haven’t you got that cork out yet? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180704 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180704_LR_9739f359-b861-481b-8833-39c91a2ee3d5.jpg?v=1571611212 If you’re gonna teach him water comes from hydrogen and oxygen, I also want him to know he can get it from the kitchen. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180705 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180705_LR_4b22dab5-d473-4def-9cd4-794fcee6543d.jpg?v=1571611212 I don’t want to be a ‘lookout’ ANYMORE. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180706 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180706_LR_5a6381f6-82a0-4757-bef9-9db2c222fc02.jpg?v=1571611212 Do you take trade-ins? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180707 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180707_LR_d2f51620-2d6e-4843-9d36-64475f315942.jpg?v=1571611212 It’s called ‘How to Survive on a Widow’s Pension.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180709 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180709_LR_e1954955-c67f-4294-bc9e-4ab3de647a4b.jpg?v=1571611212 You’re not getting another engagement ring until you’ve finished paying for the other two. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180710 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180710_LR_ab586ec4-bc66-47fb-a0e1-d1e424acbff7.jpg?v=1571611212 You’re to blame for this! You let him watch ‘How I Met Your Mother.” https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180711 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180711_LR_88c467b0-d3a1-4bc7-baa9-2d944c391f3a.jpg?v=1571611212 We were advertising for a ‘driver.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180712 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180712_LR_80d6990d-2e52-4994-829d-d89196443cbc.jpg?v=1571611212 If I give you a pay raise, you’ll have to start worrying about tax shelters. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180713 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180713_LR_ba4301d1-f63a-4807-84a0-0207722f9295.jpg?v=1571611212 Therefore, I leave everything to my trusted lawyer. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180714 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180714_LR_ef1c6567-4c5d-419d-a31b-64161f7a0433.jpg?v=1571611212 D’you mind not blowing that cigarette smoke all over me. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180716 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180716_LR_995473ff-a346-4d5b-b4b4-40956ac8f1fe.jpg?v=1571611212 Don’t bother getting me a baby sitter, I’m going out myself. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180717 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180717_LR_9b71739d-375d-4080-a049-a28cd2b00f52.jpg?v=1571611212 One Caesar’s salad, no dressing. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180718 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180718_LR_8c7e4e30-df73-46dc-93ab-2cf74b7c1d18.jpg?v=1571611212 I dreamt I was driving down a mountain road and the brakes failed. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180719 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180719_LR_45097dbd-a504-4752-ac5b-39acda948509.jpg?v=1571611212 That’s fantastic! I can’t keep up with all this modern technology. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180720 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180720_LR_b064c9ba-f702-4d7a-a225-c3acd1bc5f5e.jpg?v=1571611212 I thought you were finished! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180721 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180721_LR_cbe2c626-4089-4c50-9158-87db673c0032.jpg?v=1571611212 Whaddyer mean, ‘put him outside’? I can’t even move. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180723 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180723_LR_0dd796e0-9829-4c8d-9863-74de5832cebe.jpg?v=1571611212 Your pulse is very, very weak! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180724 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180724_LR_59385748-9117-4c93-a4dd-1a8753b0b4cd.jpg?v=1571611212 Who left the stereo on? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180725 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180725_LR_5b84a76e-7a73-4203-9fb2-cf302057bed2.jpg?v=1571611212 Mom’s in the penguin enclosure at the zoo, waiting for a tow truck. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180726 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180726_LR_4fc4a7c8-00f8-4c18-ba2c-f9991411d392.jpg?v=1571611212 As long as the waist fits, I can always fix the shouders. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180727 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180727_LR_442ecf25-7a86-48a2-8e47-712a78ede1b7.jpg?v=1571611212 Watch out! One of your peas is moving. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180728 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180728_LR_e3b31897-2af2-473b-a942-5587348b410e.jpg?v=1571611213 Have you finished with the financial section? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180730 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180730_LR_1f962be7-b767-4f9b-91ee-643cbe526cc9.jpg?v=1571611213 Happy Birthday, Dad. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180731 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180731_LR_5d5e1aea-8f80-4483-a842-0ae53852543a.jpg?v=1571611213 I don't see anything here for less than a dollar. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180801 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180801_LR_ea116399-58c5-47ed-8444-fe6d2ce55dd6.jpg?v=1571611213 See, I told you daddy only had a ‘concussion.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180802 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180802_LR_f560de20-3388-42de-a626-048353382827.jpg?v=1571611213 I finally got a day off! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180803 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180803_LR_1dbebc8d-886a-452f-b165-da1d1ad6a76c.jpg?v=1571611213 It says here a laboratory rat got himself a lawyer and is suing the government for $10 million. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180804 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180804_LR_bdb792c1-2ef2-4a0e-a6e3-6d0da492dae3.jpg?v=1571611213 If we split up, I want this toaster. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180806 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180806_LR_6497303c-2057-422c-a4f0-03edadf5fe7c.jpg?v=1571611213 I know you don’t like messing around with a lot of little buttons. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180807 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180807_LR_42b8e2ce-cdf1-445c-950c-1af30ca0d256.jpg?v=1571611213 Who ordered the five-star chili? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180808 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180808_LR_6bae9c77-06fc-4172-91c9-b2a0573a6b9a.jpg?v=1571611213 Guess what happened to those sausages on the way home from the supermarket. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180809 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180809_LR_d60ecd7d-c4c6-46d0-ba9c-976879015166.jpg?v=1571611213 They’re running short of arrows! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180810 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180810_LR_284bf63d-3473-4589-b183-d7cb1932d001.jpg?v=1571611213 I’m fixing up the room. Her mother’s coming to stay with us for a week. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180811 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180811_LR_9c81e9f8-6fb6-4743-88e1-ca6fb2e277b5.jpg?v=1571611213 Can I borrow some of your after-shave? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180813 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180813_LR_558784b4-4546-4a5f-9208-30ecc21ed9af.jpg?v=1571611213 You heard me! Did I say ‘rice’ or ‘dice’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180814 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180814_LR_3c6711fc-1d2b-4981-bbcc-27eb713c51fe.jpg?v=1571611213 No, it’s not easy putting nine adopted children through college earning 80 bucks a week! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180815 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180815_LR_2837821a-ee34-4646-a4e5-79f870c391e4.jpg?v=1571611213 Is it my fault if the foreman at my last place started a fight? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180816 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180816_LR_f9fc8b47-2302-4391-85e1-19d8b6fef920.jpg?v=1571611213 Can you fix them by Saturday? I’m in the finals. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180817 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180817_LR_8d8d3686-abe6-4a53-a30c-01a26088df45.jpg?v=1571611213 Your wife told me you sold the pet crocodile. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180818 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180818_LR_cbf827cf-3fad-4f87-ad0c-37b0553591c2.jpg?v=1571611213 You’re the first guy who’s moved onto this street with a bench saw! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180820 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180820_LR_2902d4db-9bdc-487a-958f-fcd6e806ce5b.jpg?v=1571611213 My friend, that simple piece of wire is going to revolutionize the garment industry! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180821 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180821_LR_20104261-7131-4de5-9328-1ef1cc752901.jpg?v=1571611213 I made us a license plate! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180822 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180822_LR_3db1a570-4bce-4ff6-89fb-d76f070349b8.jpg?v=1571611213 Don’t tell me. Let me guess. You want cheese? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180823 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180823_LR_c0884858-912c-4119-b19e-e80f5331756c.jpg?v=1571611214 Okay, that does it! No more doubles. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180824 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180824_LR_cb16c32b-99a9-4299-8560-631315d6e772.jpg?v=1571611214 My usual fee is $20 but I’ll only charge you $10. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180825 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180825_LR_f93e30b4-9973-4b7d-9dd4-037bb3b4f9d2.jpg?v=1571611214 I told you not to bring those sandwiches in here! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180827 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180827_LR_4b7507a0-e255-4ee2-be0a-f07cd266488e.jpg?v=1571611214 You always lend me these old things! Why don’t you splurge on an electric trimmer? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180828 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180828_LR_20339fe0-92aa-4e5f-8260-09b50a4b9a54.jpg?v=1571611214 I remember the good old days when I could see the window! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180829 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180829_LR_99500a4d-402a-4fe5-bbc0-9210e380c707.jpg?v=1571611214 Let’s start again from where I said, ‘Sit down’! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180830 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180830_LR_fc8dc4dc-bbb4-43fa-a827-60511ab71830.jpg?v=1571611214 I wonder what she sees in him! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180831 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180831_LR_e7ad1647-8805-4f17-bc5e-9d4e07955008.jpg?v=1571611214 It’s funny, but I can never get any vegetables to grow along that fence! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180901 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180901_LR_6d60d396-1681-4b03-833a-389fe803400e.jpg?v=1571611214 Members of the jury, have you reached a verdict on this crook? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180903 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180903_LR_0cc3a06a-571d-4a95-bfe4-33716909bf0c.jpg?v=1571611214 I don’t know what it is! I just started here myself. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180904 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180904_LR_5b7837eb-870b-4294-856b-410796195b10.jpg?v=1571611214 We flew over one of your cities on the way in… very impressive! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180905 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180905_LR_de89c9ed-246d-4bda-8553-93073242da3b.jpg?v=1571611214 You said it was getting tired. It’s gone to bed! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180906 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180906_LR_af411958-4e69-4786-b67e-b5775939e3f8.jpg?v=1571611214 I changed the baby. Now what? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180907 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180907_LR_36fee431-6b05-4d43-bffb-b99d030ff845.jpg?v=1571611214 Perfect! Six feet two inches and 195 lbs. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180908 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180908_LR_1a2166f2-479e-4e37-a7e3-1fbb08efbba3.jpg?v=1571611214 Here it is, ‘Zebra Virus’! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180910 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180910_LR_2166f3fb-1974-471f-a757-f2c15e7bfa1a.jpg?v=1571611214 Do you like the new tiles I put up in the bathroom? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180911 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180911_LR_9c97373b-a774-453a-823d-970129dd6997.jpg?v=1571611214 This is ‘Moon Over the Ocean’, painted, basically from memory! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180912 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180912_LR_a0d6ea35-5d65-43db-91f2-27abba65c8a7.jpg?v=1571611214 Why can’t you use your imagination and stick a few peas on there? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180913 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180913_LR_b4285805-e45e-46fe-b42c-f11f1cca428b.jpg?v=1571611214 What about you! Did you see what happened? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180914 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180914_LR_ac5a9aa2-5335-4e6c-89b2-5c0a6bee0b51.jpg?v=1571611214 If you buy a goldfish, I’ll throw in the aardvark. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180915 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180915_LR_c4ea23f5-e0bf-4708-9860-85b983333965.jpg?v=1571611214 Don’t overfeed the fish, nag, nag, nag. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180917 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180917_LR_647ebb16-c558-461c-96b6-07c2003394be.jpg?v=1571611214 Why can’t you watch ‘The Muppets’ after I’ve seen the news? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180918 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180918_LR_0f07b661-321a-4907-a952-2b3fedd3eef4.jpg?v=1571611214 Being on a diet does not give you the right to go beserk in a donut shop. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180919 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180919_LR_02d57494-e3ae-4a22-b298-93de7c516651.jpg?v=1571611214 Let me explain why I can’t give you a pay raise. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180920 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180920_LR_fe400c66-3a14-42de-9131-3f3dc209d76a.jpg?v=1571611214 Have you got a room with bars on the windows? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180921 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180921_LR_83edb09a-05a0-4977-a1fe-5133b9356c32.jpg?v=1571611214 D’you feel okay? That chicken was a funny color when I cooked it. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180922 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180922_LR_1310ab0d-8e54-47ca-a71f-c4f978fae31c.jpg?v=1571611214 What’s it gonna be — an ice cream or a university education? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180924 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180924_LR_f3905182-29e3-4db3-8fc6-7a5ce80559ef.jpg?v=1571611214 Shall I throw out another bag of sand? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180925 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180925_LR_eb0ba60a-bff9-4f12-bc32-c3983609d1a0.jpg?v=1571611215 It’s just for a few days, Wilkins, until her ladyship gets used to not having the old dog around. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180926 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180926_LR_ccb8a1b2-569f-4ab2-affd-ae0e9993e65e.jpg?v=1571611215 Can you fix a flat? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180927 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180927_LR_bd223a32-a757-40b4-9ae5-ba20ecf09d6d.jpg?v=1571611215 We’re having a special on tonsils this week. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180928 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180928_LR_74c007b2-b716-48cb-a147-d203ce768c5c.jpg?v=1571611215 Run upstairs and see who it is! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm180929 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM180929_LR_f872c816-1657-4871-968c-185542344636.jpg?v=1571611215 Keep your left arm straight and remember to follow through. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181001 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181001_LR_53e8a736-5965-4f15-afff-0ceee734e03f.jpg?v=1571611215 My, my, he looks like his daddy! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181002 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181002_LR_509d3b80-b224-451e-8078-f5e554b41bd5.jpg?v=1571611215 Dad, watch me juggle! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181003 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181003_LR_8f7235e2-bb55-4f4c-9e43-88a4cea5cd4c.jpg?v=1571611215 Did you thank Grandpa for the tool kit? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181004 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181004_LR_0d8fcead-1c8d-4dcf-bc55-8f7a1804d5c9.jpg?v=1571611215 Would you like to donate any organs while you’re under the anesthetic? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181005 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181005_LR_d869ff70-eb3e-47fa-b6a9-9fa6b6b12589.jpg?v=1571611215 I’m sorry, sir. No dogs allowed in the hotel. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181006 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181006_LR_c19cb990-1844-420f-aa96-c0a7dda97e7d.jpg?v=1571611215 I never said you could use my boat! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181008 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181008_LR_540a747b-cca2-452f-a05f-d08d7dd4042d.jpg?v=1571611215 Look at his eyes! They’re almost human. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181009 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181009_LR_50f3bdc8-0c53-40fd-89c5-4640d731e86c.jpg?v=1571611215 Here, grab this. I didn’t have enough money for two Strawberry Delights! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181010 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181010_LR_23bd7dc3-90c7-4aa7-bd13-c7f5ce4ebc12.jpg?v=1571611215 If you’d told me you had all those books, I would have made it stronger! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181011 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181011_LR_5b010f32-15c0-47ea-adba-c00eafae344d.jpg?v=1571611215 Okay, slam the door as soon as I get upstairs. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181012 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181012_LR_726b9af5-2a87-4a0e-a52d-827b25b5f1f3.jpg?v=1571611215 Why didn’t you say you didn’t want gravy? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181013 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181013_LR_73d5f1d2-dcf0-4784-a412-2b9812865f80.jpg?v=1571611215 I hope you won’t be like that on Saturday. My sister is coming. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181015 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181015_LR_12f08dc8-5b68-4e7e-a1ca-5869614e50cd.jpg?v=1571611215 Smile, Dad! We need it for school! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181016 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181016_LR_988cfa06-fccb-4e6b-ae69-9f5eb3e36d78.jpg?v=1571611215 Who’s been using my ‘Lavendar Beads’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181017 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181017_LR_57a15e47-10ec-451d-928c-d96d5788aeea.jpg?v=1571611215 There’s nothing in the rule book that says I can’t stay here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181018 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181018_LR_15c9816d-facb-49ef-bd0f-bc7fcbb595f9.jpg?v=1571611215 I told you not to try touching your toes! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181019 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181019_LR_0517d15a-a8f4-419d-91d6-865c6931af54.jpg?v=1571611215 I thought this place closed at six! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181020 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181020_LR_b6828e20-116c-4e70-b140-119775e7bfbd.jpg?v=1571611215 I don’t have a suitcase! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181022 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181022_LR_e6aa4cd0-4c98-4d3d-85ad-7fa8608b205f.jpg?v=1571611215 It’s okay, Ralph. We don’t want to see your gallbladder! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181023 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181023_LR_c0b707dc-d382-499b-9488-5af8c24f1d78.jpg?v=1571611215 My silly old key wouldn’t open the front door, Snuggles. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181024 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181024_LR_46ebf264-d8bd-4286-b8fe-6708723ed765.jpg?v=1571611215 That’s the last time I go on vacation. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181025 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181025_LR_2004b9d5-cadb-4a29-b8f2-3ddb011e36b5.jpg?v=1571611215 I think you’re after me! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181026 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181026_LR_0f067931-4876-46f3-a91a-84631e1d3614.jpg?v=1571611215 I’ve been down here before! Watch out for the little guy in the fur coat. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181027 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181027_LR_a761c055-0da4-45c1-8ff7-c994f70fe60a.jpg?v=1571611215 Be careful how you sit in the chair. It’s broken. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181029 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181029_LR_67e47139-a639-4068-88af-acdbcadc6593.jpg?v=1571611215 I’ll be out of here in 30 seconds, sweetheart. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181030 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181030_LR_f604c47b-4f44-4c84-a2a0-6d2bc5528963.jpg?v=1571611215 I thought for a minute I'd lost you there but I guess the old stetho's on the blink. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181031 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181031_LR_b563bc77-0f55-474f-8b3b-e49ab01cc347.jpg?v=1571611216 You spotted it, eh? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181101 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181101_LR_4bb2224c-9bc8-417d-9b7f-4d155fdbb71f.jpg?v=1571611216 I wish you wouldn’t talk to me when I’m nailing. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181102 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181102_LR_347ef474-e0e7-4a6f-82a6-25db3735f222.jpg?v=1571611216 Do we have any more boxes of ‘Fruity-Scoops’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181103 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181103_LR_49232a9b-9d4d-42d6-9550-90e1e5662967.jpg?v=1571611216 Mommy had this kitchen custom built. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181105 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181105_LR_1afee5da-977d-48fb-861c-a26e1a85ec2a.jpg?v=1571611216 Is it OK if I scream with agony between answering the questions? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181106 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181106_LR_ccc41ed7-ffd1-4e5e-9aa1-d78031ead7da.jpg?v=1571611216 They look a lot bigger on TV! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181107 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181107_LR_abfc9bdd-b651-4acb-9aba-7c366dedfa73.jpg?v=1571611216 Can I exchange this for ‘Doggo-Chunks’? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181108 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181108_LR_13f30cfa-8700-4966-a7d7-a823952be335.jpg?v=1571611216 I don’t care who she votes for. I’m not kissing a kid with measles! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181109 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181109_LR_e5557784-960b-449d-8836-a871c336877d.jpg?v=1571611216 Open the door. It’s only Mother. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181110 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181110_LR_e1518114-e86a-4431-a8d6-b87ec40bcbac.jpg?v=1571611216 We don’t want this one — he has the flu. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181112 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181112_LR_cff0140d-f2ce-40e8-b599-95c7327ace1b.jpg?v=1571611216 Did you see a large woman on a bike go past here? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181113 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181113_LR_c3be9f26-d26d-4c9d-a499-6ddb2903f1e6.jpg?v=1571611216 I know why you never write! You’re too busy digging that stupid tunnel. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181114 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181114_LR_ddc4d9e1-c0ea-46e0-8ee5-fdde5a6f2ae1.jpg?v=1571611216 Do you like cats? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181115 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181115_LR_92c05535-7984-4e1a-b3ef-1f7a04142b5d.jpg?v=1571611216 I just got fired, so I’ll wait for my tip outside the front door! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181116 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181116_LR_edfb90b8-26fb-43c5-99d7-feb38077859f.jpg?v=1571611216 Drat! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181117 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181117_LR_60e5ced5-9b75-4509-92c9-7a98d8930fb3.jpg?v=1571611216 Yes, Miller, I heard about your promotion. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181119 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181119_LR_dd685434-df0e-4d90-a80b-8e2aee9edec2.jpg?v=1571611216 Downstairs… eight letters… starts with ‘B.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181120 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181120_LR_5fad5bc8-5083-408a-b6bb-58cc3c980e03.jpg?v=1571611216 Go and find the nearest town and plug this in. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181121 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181121_LR_4a1bc1d3-5464-4a0f-b477-aadac65439d0.jpg?v=1571611216 If you spend over $20, we protect your car from vandalism in our parking lot. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181122 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181122_LR_71a6c755-053b-422c-ab00-878c2f832865.jpg?v=1571611216 Is my portable TV in there again? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181123 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181123_LR_4516b010-33b1-4e30-8295-01b01f415f13.jpg?v=1571611216 Grab your shepherd’s pie. It’s fourth from the top. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181124 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181124_LR_9cc132a2-8a26-4504-8e5a-3f199a818fda.jpg?v=1571611216 I’m not hiding my money up here. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181126 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181126_LR_4b42517c-39b6-4b59-b26a-a7daa878e678.jpg?v=1571611216 Albert hasn’t worked here for 15 years. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181127 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181127_LR_5c4a74b2-3f5b-4795-a9ec-dd4760df8287.jpg?v=1571611216 My pottery teacher says it shows great promise. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181128 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181128_LR_dcee90e3-0ec0-4ad2-aaf6-e6cbba80b2b4.jpg?v=1571611216 Hand over all the cash or he starts playing. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181129 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181129_LR_480fdcb0-7606-4e12-8173-de9fdc71fade.jpg?v=1571611216 I can’t even pronounce what you’ve got! https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181130 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181130_LR_1f875e36-bbd9-434c-aeba-79e966cee1a1.jpg?v=1571611216 I’ll have a table for you in two minutes. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181201 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181201_LR_9cd8f38f-faa6-4c93-9973-c0ed05ee5479.jpg?v=1571611216 I need a tropical fish, 18 inches by 9 1/2 inches. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181203 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181203_LR_cd3d42f1-71a8-4d95-b2d1-c71f6bf9ca97.jpg?v=1571611216 Whaddyer want, 46 essential vitamins or the Star Wars toy? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181204 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181204_LR_ba4c5404-7d06-48ce-b2b7-1508d6c357af.jpg?v=1571611216 Do they have things like that on your planet? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181205 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181205_LR_e207cf2c-1a8c-405b-8dba-10598f13c191.jpg?v=1571611216 I thought it was you, your Majesty. I don’t often forget a face. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181206 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181206_LR_a8f81f57-848d-42c6-98f7-29ce6b268a15.jpg?v=1571611217 Oh, oh! It says, ‘Must be eaten before Feb. 2008’. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181207 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181207_LR_26bf8c37-3e5d-4a17-913a-8de209cf7837.jpg?v=1571611217 Don’t look at me like that. It’s ‘evolution.’ https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181208 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181208_LR_d36f9c13-56b3-4eff-bc56-17becd646e30.jpg?v=1571611217 He hates it when someone uses his bowl. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181210 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181210_LR_3c6fed6b-5579-46b6-93c8-f22f465c109a.jpg?v=1571611217 I can’t understand a word he says! Try him in Spanish. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181211 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181211_LR_2d880d9d-d441-4648-99a2-79c63ce6b432.jpg?v=1571611217 One step closer and I’ll soak you to the skin. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181212 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181212_LR_3eb86532-ab61-4142-9800-edf68e24ef99.jpg?v=1571611217 Why don’t you have a good scream and get it over with. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181213 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181213_LR_5e5dbe21-1e7d-4691-a403-2126df2c387a.jpg?v=1571611217 Do you have thick carpets in your home? https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181214 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181214_LR_5ab96711-6b46-4093-8c03-01a6e82b77e0.jpg?v=1571611217 If I bought your burglar alarm, it would be the only thing in here worth stealing. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181215 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181215_LR_69ddc169-444d-4992-8597-4fff84ffb060.jpg?v=1571611217 You were sleepwalking again last night. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181217 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181217_LR_aed2dd0f-5ef5-4787-a012-6bec7a639913.jpg?v=1571611217 Of course it’s empty! I had to hide everything. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181218 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181218_LR_f282ef28-d856-4ccf-afdf-339b27d6b82a.jpg?v=1571611217 There’s a F-I-L-E in the C-A-K-E. https://laughingstock.com/products/permissions_hm181219 2026-07-21T07:57:57-12:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0008/0199/6859/products/HM181219_LR_b4663dfe-e35d-4353-ba05-0d93a5306bce.jpg?v=1571611217 Looking at you, I’d guess your wife doesn’t have exceptionally good taste!